Memory blanks

Inaccurate Inchy: Friday 12th April 2024

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A LONG DAY…
Up at 05:15hrs, doing this at (now) 23:55hrs! Friday started reasonably well and ended up 18 hours later with the fire alarm alerting. The potatoes burnt, and cleaning up the mess took me three hours. Burnt finger, dropped the second saucepan on my legs and dressing gown… I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
I’d got the intro bit done but little else. I started on it Saturday morning. I’m in the new bed at approximately 04:30 hrs, and I have cramps in both legs. The right eye is so painful, and the vision in both is terrible… I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
I woke when Carer Chris arrived.
I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
Getting out of bed in the morning was a struggle and a half. Carer Chris aided me. Got up on the sticks, & joined in the pain-giving antics of the other ailments that had been attacking for the previous four hours of sleep… I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
This will be a short one, but at least I took some photos; some I recall taking, others not. Oh, and I forgot to ask the Carer to take off my diabetic socks for me, and also, the Catheter Night Bag was not attached. The lad was trying to let me get back to sleep, I think, bless him. He did mention how poorly I looked, which was a rarity. As a man living a fit & healthy lifestyle and at a young age, I am usually a bundle of joy & happiness, laughing, joking, giving, and forever yodelling and singing…
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Of, dearie me, the ablutions went hellish this morning… But not the

Bad picture of the better ankles

Morning view.

Through the balcony windows.

Afternoon views.

A few hours later. Bootiful!

I worked all day on blogging and still hadn’t caught up. I was well gone by 03:00 hrs before giving it up. That was when the smell of burning was detected, followed shortly by the fire alarm. I think the timing is right.

This is possibly my worst-ever attempt to take a shot of the moon high in the sky! Four failures, but they did have an element of modern art. Is it suitable for the Tate Gallery? Perhaps, maybe?

Huh!. I missed this shot taken earlier.

I got it within 2 seconds… when I looked at the revealed answer. Hehehe!

The burnt potatoes from the large saucepan.
The mess where things had boiled over.
I got some not-so-bad potatoes with almost dried-out vegetables. Washed up and had the Accifauxpas mentioned above!
I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
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Depression does not dawn so often. It just stays for longer & longer… It’s rotten!

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TTFN

Inactivated Inchy: Thursday 11th April 2024

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INCHY TO BUY APARTMENT Ha, Ha, Ha, As if!
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A little lighter colour this morning.
Morning sky shot
And… a ground shot!

Balcony doors.

Later on, a kitchen view.

End car park.

Kitchenette.

Midday gloom. It did brighten a bit later.

Nearly caught me out again!

I took this Kodak Tim shot.
Then tiredness & weariness dawned.
The plan was to get some sleep in before the teatime caller came and then get back on the blog.
This plan did not come to fruition!
I struggled to get stripped and clambered into the bed. In particular,  gave forth pains, complaining as I got in and settled into the new second-hand bed. I struggled further, getting into a pain-free position for sleep.
Eventually, I was satisfied that I’d got it as good as I was going to and cleaned up the mess I’d made around the bed, got the overbed table in position with the flat torch, the mobile phone and a bottle of water on it, and climbed painfully into a raise prone position which I thought was okay. It wasn’t!
I just got myself deeper into a mess again. Not being able to see or understand the controller did not help much. Within two minutes of my laying down in the snug bed, I’m afraid that
kicked off. Annoyed and frustrated, I got out, made the bed and put the overbed table up on it. With was angry at all the leg lifting needed.
I was now verging on sinking into the mammoth depression as I got back into the c1968 itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. But at least I found , at long last. I had turned on the TV, and the 16:00hrs News was starting, but I soon drifted off into a wonderful oblivion. Heavenly sleep! But it didn’t last long. Five minutes later, turned up, full of the joys of spring. Hahaha! He issued the medications, and I was in the chair for the entire visit, mumbling about needing sleep! Hehehe! He didn’t hang out and left me wishing I could get some sleep!
Which I did within minutes of Chris departing, a deep, wonderful, dream-filled at times, but not bad ones. I slept for an hour at least… then, you’ve probably guessed, started off! They didn’t last for very long. But they put an end to any more silly hopes and dreams of getting to sleep… at least until for two hours or so when I managed to nod off back to kip in the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner. For five minutes, and the return of made his last call. The lad took off the diabetic socks and issued the medications by torchlight. Bless him. I told him to take some nibbles and a cold drink from the fridge. Oh, and a can of Corona beer. I think I nodded away as soon as he’d departed. And stayed in the good-dream-filled slumber for about 3 hours, 
I woke, unsure of where I was, when it was, and my tormented mind full of self-lambasting, guilt, shame and embarrassment-filled memory recollections from . Worran ‘orrible night!

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Go Forth & Enjoy!

Acne Ridden Inchy: Tuesday 9th April 2024

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ARRGH! I woke, coughed a little, and edged toward the side of the bed to get my legs down… By Gum, it was painful! Both , and , the second one, in particular, did not like being moved at all. I suppose an Arrgh! Would describe it at the time. When the legs were lowered, and I tackled, standing on them, Arrgh! Seems far too timid an expression to use. 
I had to riskily sit down again to get at the , for removing it. Took a poor snap of it here. 
Even darker this morning.
I went to the kitchen to check if I’d left any of the taps running, the cooker on, or the fridge or freezer doors open. Everything looked good, so I took the above photo from the kitchenette window. 
Then I got the dressing gown, socks, and shirts from the laundry bag that Carer Christopher returned last night and that I’d forgot to sort out. Made a mess of the snap of the T-shirt Sister Jane bought for me… “Grumpy Little Elf”, indeed! Hahaha!
I topped up the carer’s and nurses’ nibble boxes on the carer’s table.
Then, I got the waste bags into one. The knees were not getting much better. I’ll be glad to get to the doctor’s appointment to have them checked over. The very thought of the injections working and hopes of some pain relief instead appeals to me.
Off to the wet room, Porcelain Throne duties and ablutions to do.
Constipation Conrad was back in control. At least the pain from the ginormous concrete torpedo that eventually slowly emerged, and I was doing rather well on the crossword, too, took the pain of the knees away for a few minutes. Until I had to stand up to clean up!
The teeth cleaning brought bleeding. The shaving did not! Fantastic! A bit of a downer, though. I struggled to get the clean PPs on after washing and took a semi-tumble. Luckily, I tumbled towards the corner, which saved me from buzzing for help getting back up again. With the state of my knees today, there would be no way I get back up on my own. Naturally, the drooping day bag pulled like heck on Little Inchies, and I had to clean up and medicate. It could have been much worse. I got the dressing gown on and wobbled to the computer to put the photographs on WordPress, which was ready to use. I thought I’d better cause when the nosh arrives later, I’ll have less to do and maybe save some time. I found this photo on the card? A classic cock-up, I’m thinking?  
The Asda order arrived, and it was a big one. Carrying the bags through to the kitchen upset the Cartilage girls. Hehe!
The top-up for the treat drinks was left in the doorway. They were the most hurtful to carry.
Daffodils are to be given to the
wardens and handed to whoever. I topped up the drinkies shelves in the front room with the new cans delivered.
Flavoured Cider, Carlsberg, and Corona are amongst them.
A lot of long-life foods go into the cupboards. Some packets of instant mash. Fresh spuds, brown Baguettes, and tiny pots of sour lemon jellies.
♥ arrived as I’d just got back on the computer. She put my diabetic socks on for me. Medications were handed over. She was hurrying this morning, but we managed the odd natter.
A fine rain descended, and the whole place became so cold. I was glad Marie had fitted my socks.
Brrr!

For an hour or two, I was out of it. Nothing was done on the computer or anything at all during that period. Had it been a , I’d still have been working on the blog and found some done, but it wasn’t. 

I arrived a minute after clearing the fog of what must have happened. She sorted the medications. She listened to me as I told her of the Doctor’s and Clinic Appointments needing a lift.
She was busy, too, and said she’d look at things tomorrow for me. ♥ I was surprised at how light stayed tonight. To those unaffected by FND, or , they would have naturally expected it, considering the time of year… but not me! Although I did remember later on, while I was sitting on the . Why the Hell did I tell you that?

I sorted out some food. I have to admit, it’s not an exciting-looking vegetarian meal. Also, as you can see, I burnt the Mediterranean vegetables, and the sausages looked undercooked rather sadly at first. But I pressed on with eating. I couldn’t believe how good it tasted! The sausages were pretty tasty, and the flavour of the vegetables was supremely tasty! However, the look of it, bruised banana, and dry bread let it down a smidgeon.

I thought it was an epaulette!

I got the pots washed and settled to watch some TV. I drifted off the second the adverts came on and woke up feeling terrible. I was sneezing, coughing, and in a mini-mind fog. Yet now, in the morning, the memory of it is clear. Carer Christopher arrived to take off my diabetic socks and give me medications… and, of course, to have his supper. Hehehe!

It took me over three hours to get back to sleep. I know this for sure because as I was tossing and turning. (I wasn’t, but it gives the sentence a richness, don’t you think?) I caught the remote control, and the TV came on. It Frit me! The new TV with its large screen suddenly flashed at me… I thought I might have snuffed it, and this was Hell welcoming me! 
I saw time on the screen and turned it off.

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Cheers!

Insecure Inchy: Sat 6 Apr 24, I made a decision!

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Dark again.

Refilled the carer’s & nurses’ nibble boxes.

My knees are bad this morning.

Motionless.

Carer Christopher called. The little scallywag.

First view with Kodak Tim.
The clouds are still different today.

Whoops!

Off to the wet room to empty the catheter pouch out, and tried again on the Throne...
Oh, dear!

Blogging was a slow job; I’m going to have to give up.
Carer Joanne turned up earlier than usual. Always nice to see her. A little laugh available is good!

The Mystery Chest Pains are back now. Suppose it might be something to do with the reluctance of the bowels to produce anything? 

The clouds are even more beautiful now.

I’m blogging away, but now I’m bothered with the card reader reading the cards. I’m fed up! It takes about four tries to read the cards every time I use it. Not good! Gloom and doom!
Later I took another shot of the kitchen sky view.

Going to get something to eat now.
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Still too dark.

The shrunken in the wash new dressing gown was washed twice, and now the pockets are hanging off, and the belt loops are loose, ready to drop off.

Any idiot could work this one out…
But I couldn’t!

Sorry about this…
But, my physical and mental conditions are making things too time-consuming for me to cope with writing a full blog. I’ve been on the computer often for 18 hours on the trot. Stopping for nurses, deliveries, and/or Caregivers calling. Getting back to what and where I was is so confusing. Thus, taking me even more time to catch up and work rings out. I so loved doing them as well. 
I’ve decided to try to do the top part, including Cartoons, Odes, Snippets, etc. Medical appointments, and will add any photographs taken if I have time and the computer lets me. Maybe a description of any Whoopsiedangleplops, if any. (IF? Hahaha!)
I’ve had to make this decision, and making decisions is one of my later-in-life problems. The mind and memory blanks and now the non-epileptic seizures are getting a little more frequent, so much that often don’t mention them as anything worthy of going in the blog. They are diurnal.
My concentration seems to have retrograded this morning; hence, this is written while things are clearer in my head. (How long for? Who Knows.) 

They soon returned. The vacillating, wavering, indecision, hesitancy, uncertainty, hemming and hawing, shilly-shallying, dilly-dallying, concentration-distracting, fretting, worrying, fussing, panicking, and stressing are rife, too often for me now. 
disconcertions, embarrassments, self-loathings, misperceptions, tizzies, misunderstandings, apprehensiveness, topsy-turviness, vagueness, and an invaded brain full of a salmagundi of unwanted moods and modes, including, at times, the odd hallucination, fantasy, and stubborn delusion.
Common sense rarely makes an appearance. But it 
did this morning, making this decision!
I still await the appointment to see a Dementia psychologist. Glaucoma, cataracts and knee operations. But it is the brain that needs help more, I think. I can’t find anyone with the same symptoms to talk with. I believe FND is part of the cause.

After talking to the lady at the audio clinic and finding out that she had FND, I found I had every symptom she mentioned worrying about. The effects are so weird that she said she believes no one believes her – ditto! But it’s not easy to understand or diagnose, let alone treat it. I agree with her about her frustrations. My Doctor gives me the same feelings. It must be hard for anyone to take in.

Glad I got this on record while my head is clearer now. I can get back to being me when my mind abandons me again and wanders off. 

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TTFN, Keep Safe Each ♥

Inadvertently Inchy: Friday 5th April 2024

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Well, there were still plenty of hassles, worries, and mistakes made. There were many visits and stings from . I have never had so many during the day before on a single day. I am greedy! Hehehe! The Doctor’s surgery gave me a tinkle. To make an appointment for them to give me painkilling injections in the knees, to counter & . I’ll see if I can remember to tell them about the latest ailment craze from . She made an appointment for 09:40hrs on Thursday, 18th April. Same day as I was to be going to the Diabetes Course in Bulwell. Can’t win ’em all… Humph, I can’t win any! Haha!
The replacement carpets ruined in the flood escapades arrived. 
I cleaned the wet room again, another mess made by yours truly, Inchy. The hallway carpet had not dried yet, so I went into the wet room, taking black bits from the carpet onto the floor!
I decided to wash the bottoms of the slippers and dry them off well. Naturally, I got soapy water on the soft outers of the slipped and had to put them on the fairer to dry. Then, the need for the Throne arrived in a bit of a rush. I made more mess going in with my bare feet this time. Tried to use kitchen towels to clean it up, using my feet, but I couldn’t bend down far enough without suffering from the pain. And if I did get down, I’d probably not have been able to get up again! Then, trying to wash my feet, I got my plates of meat into the bowl alright, but at just the optimum time to cause me the worst degree of bother, as I was removing the dodgier right leg, prone to bursting into a wild dance of its own accord, I had a  , and tipped the bowl over! Thus had to clean the place up again for the third time! I took the bag of rubbish and put it in the waste chute. ; not realising how early it was in the day. (approx 05:00hrs) I’m going to get it in the neck now; from those people, I might have woken up. Tsk!  
Finally, at long last, I set about having a shave (only one cut). I searched for the toothpaste. After a few minutes of failed investigation, I assumed it had dropped, and I’d taken it out in the waste bags. Arrgh! It was also the last of the prescription toothpaste.
I think at one time, I believed I was still asleep and dreaming. The showering was okay… just one clouting of my head on the power box today.
I got the medicationalisationing done. Amazing, I easily got the PPs on. No socks, of course, like a baby waiting for his nanny; the Carer will sort that out for me later. I got on the computer. Carer Kimberly arrived. Socks on, medications, a mini-natter, and laughter were enjoyed.
There was a bit of mini-blank here. Hours later, the intercom rang out, and the first of the carpets arrived. Five minutes later, the second carpet (Well, rugs or mats, really).
arrived. We spent a few minutes setting the world to rights. She seemed to have a sore throat. I hope she is not getting the dreaded lurgy. 
No idea why, but there must have been some logic in it somewhere; I made a J Sainsbury order for 14 days time. I think it may have been… no, no idea.
I called back later and returned the borrowed bag of ‘s. I was pleased to be in a position to help some other tenant out with the loan. It makes a change from flooding them out, and guilt returns!

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Onwards to the photos.
The urine in the night bag looked much darker when I viewed it with my admittedly poor eyes.
The wet room farce was over. It looked good after three hours of mayhem and cleaning it up again… and again, and finally, once again this morning.
Damned good job I couldn’t sleep and got up early. Not that the poor devils living in the twelve-floors below, would appreciate it with me using the darned waste chute that early in the day. Guilt again!
This is the first picture of the view from the kitchenette that I took.
The amazing blue hue was back again. Bootiful!

I forgot to tell you, when I was cleaning the wet room, I used the new lavatory brush. Can I get it back in its hub? I still can’t.

The day pouch was filling up swiftly today. However, it was getting darker as the say went on. It usually does the opposite.
My first mug of Glengettie tea of the day. It really is the best I’ve ever tasted.
Shame I’m only allowed two cups a day. (Sob!)
The postman dropped my Anticoagulation results DVT, INR, and through the letter box. An increase in dosages. It’s a smidge low.
The most amazing cloud formation this evening.
Not unlike the news snippet above Mammatus clouds?
I see so many things in these three pictures.
I’ve put in this blog a little larger.
I hope that my fellow bloggers, Tim Price and Paul, and any reader, can see what I did in them. Who is a  Pareidolianist?
The second mug of Glengettie was enjoyed while I was blogging away merrily. The authenticity of the last bit is dubious.
Why the hell do I write so small? I know full well (at times) that my eyesight is crap, and I’ll not be able to read what I’ve written!

I got the smallest of the mats into the wet room. I decided this should be recorded for prosperity. Despite my shakes, I was determined to get a picture taken with the whole mat in it – I didn’t!

Carer Helen called, and medications were given.
After I offered them, she took about 40 of my DVDs with her, as I cannot see or hear them nowadays. She’ll collect the others later. Great, a clear out at last.

Better get the nosh prepared… it’s nearly midnight. A tastier effort tonight. Well, this morning.  (pork knuckle), Golonkowa, chips, a brown wholemeal baguette and a pot of naughty but so delicious lemon curd yoghourt.

I found it, but it took me 33 seconds.
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TTFN

Inchy’s Daymare! Thur 4 Apr – Flood, I left taps on twice, Community Nurse, Wardens telling me off, self loathing, and frustrations

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I’m unsure what or who to blame for today’s lunchtime disaster. may have been the natural culprit, but she might well have been supported to a degree, possibly, by , or maybe I had a , or even might have had a visit? It was embarrassing, annoying, angering, and so frustrating. I felt worth about tuppence after Kara found the mess, and sorted it for me. I’ll explain about this cock-up come now, to get it out of the road that I was so humiliated with committing. Here goes, then…

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP OF THE YEAR!
There I was, bashing away at blogging and catching up. Carer Kara called. She replaced the Catheter Day Pouch for me and got some socks on me. She emptied out what was left in the pouch and took it to the wet room for emptying, I heard her call, but did not know what it was she said… but the tone told me I was not going to like it. Simultaneously, my EQ told me I’d get into Schnook!   I got ,  and I went with dread in my innards to the wet room.
The completely flooded wet room! It was coming over the stop-ledge onto the hallway carpet! At one point, the word Tzunami came to mind!
And there, in the midst of the man-made lake, the floor drain is not working because the shower has to be working for the drain to start. Kara bless her, got stuck into mopping up the flood and tipping; I think she said eight buckets of collected water in the WC. I’d left the damned hot water tap running again!
Instantly, my self-esteem shrank to zero; I became self-conscious, unsettled, ashamed, humiliated, remorseful, contrite, and castigated, and this turned to embarrassingly feeling chastened, castigated, sheepish, and guilty all at once!
I ran her Obergruppenfurheress to tell her what had happened and that she would be late for her next appointment. I can imagine what was said about this. My blameworthiness got worse now, but it got even worse minutes later. Obergruppenfürheress Warden Deana and Brigade Fürheress Warden Julie both arrived with worse news. Julies flat below was flooded! My self-recrimination didn’t really need any help by being told they may have to have me evicted. Even if she had a smile on her face. Hehehe!
I asked if they would take my apologise to Julie with some nibbles and drinkies. Which they kindly agreed to for me. Kara was a treasure helping me out like she did. Thank you very kindly, gal! ♥
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According to my memory notepad, I got up at 05:30hrs. Just a few   overnight. The problem was getting to sleep. I felt properly worn out as well, but Sweet Morpheus wasn’t letting me for an hour of more. Drifted off eventually. 
Not that it was planned, but I got the kitchen floor cleaned by using the Speed-mop. I wouldn’t use the mop and bucket, so as to save the hot water from running too cool, for when I planned this afternoon to have a jolly good wash and shaving session. (What with the later flood the hot water now being colder than the cold water, this did not happen. Huh!) Both cartilages were playing me up again.
Carer Chris came, put on my socks, medicated me, and took the laundry down, telling me he’d bring it back up later when it was done. I thanked him profusely. Well, he’s a cheeky but nice bloke. I’m glad that Rishi didn’t stop him from getting in.
Nearly missed this Kodak Tim photo I took when I was mopping the floor earlier. It was a good effort, but still pretty.
Into the wet room to use the .
But realised I’d left it there when I went in earlier.
So I emptied the night bag.
I gathered the waste bags into a large bag and placed them near the front door. Then, I went into the kitchen to see what I could have for a treat for tonight’s meal. Potato chunks, peas and lamb burgers seemed a good idea to me. Then again, me and good ideas don’t really go together, if you know what I’m saying. Cause I have the tremendous ability to misread, miss-see, and miss-hear at the same time. Not to mention having a seizure, mind-blank, or forgetting where, what, why or how I was doing anything at any time.
The district nurse visited. Checking on the legs, weighed me, checked the acne. Removed the socks to see how the leg ulcers had got so much easier. The leaking legs had stopped altogether; she was impressed, she said. Then, she looked at my privates and was not pleased at all with the mess the catheter tube had caused down there. She noted that one goolie was larger than the other. I explained that about 6 months ago, it was the size of a grapefruit but had gone down without any medicationing being done to or on it. She said to feel them every day; if any growth is felt to the right testicle, I’ve to call the Clinic straight away. I thanked her and insisted she tales some nibbles and a drink in thanks.

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP OF THE YEAR!
I won’t upset myself by repeating things.

Carer Chris returned the laundry, and I hung it up. Not the towels, I forgot to put them in the bag.
I tried to take a snap of the Ex-NHS bed adjuster controller that they kindly got for me, adjuster controller.
I’m not sure what happened, but I missed it completely. Maybe one of the cartilages gave way? This is happening so often today that I barely notice them unless they give all the way, of course. Then, I usually notice when I tumble to the floor. I tried again to get a picture and managed to get the one above. There are no instructions; it is all graphical. But I’m blown if I can understand it. 
I took this shot of the front car park, but with little interest, I’m afraid. I was feeling so low about flooding Julie’s and my wet room. I think I’ve said above that ‘Guilt’ is the overbearing sentiment.
It suddenly went dark outside. This photo was taken on , and minutes later, the sun was coming through again?
I started to get the things ready for making a meal.
Washing the pots that had not been done earlier due to the Whoopsie with the damned hot water tap in the were room. I felt the catheter pouch pulling; boy, was it full and ready for emptying; the flow back when this happened gave me the sensation I used to get when I could manually pee. Hehehe! Off to the WC and drained it.
When done, I forgot all about the washing up I had been doing and got back onto the computer and blogging. I spent around an hour or so on this and decided to make the second brew of permitted tea of the day. Off to the kitchenette, and…
WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP Mark Two!
I’d left the hot water tap running in the kitchen sink this time!
All the same, emotions as I had after the first cock-up in the wet room. I got a nervous rash coming up this time, and for some reason, the Acne flared at the same time. I know this time it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as the earlier one, but making the same error twice in a day is not only a record for me, but it lowered my interest and shattered any hopes for some mental improvement. Plus, my submitting to the wiles and rule of . But, of course, this meant the water was cold again, and it ruined my hopes of getting the shower and shaving for tonight. I must get up early in the morning and get it done. My EQ just laughed at me when I wrote this? Wonder what are the odds of me getting up early? It will be 2½ days since I had a shower or shave. So I’m dirty bodily, struggling emotionally and mentally. I must get up as soon as I wake up… oh, the wet room might need more cleaning after using… I wish I could stop thinking! 
I went to the wet room WC to empty the day pouch again. The urine smelt awful! What next should I moan and groan about?
Sinking into a mild depression and giving up hopes and any chance of improvement, I concentrated on getting the meal to be cooked right and tasty at the same time. I tried to put my failures out of my mind for a while. I put some ready-made garlic potato cubes in the oven. I forget their name now. They have a bit of garlic and thyme in them – gorrit! Parmentier potatoes. (I looked them up on the web.)They needed 30 minutes to cook in the oven. So the oven was already heated with the tray in it, so I added the potatoes. (Hence the little burn mark on my right knuckle) Then back to save the work done and turn off the computer. 15 minutes for the tray of J. Sainsbury’s lamb & vegetable hotpot to do in the microwave. I was concentrating hard on getting things right, no idea why I bothered). Some of the tomato ketchup with pickle to zing it up a side, and the last brown baguette to soak up the gravy. Got it dished up on the tray, it looked fantastic.
But the potatoes let it down. They had been in the oven for longer that the 30 minutes it said on the wrapper, 40 minutes at least, but they were still undercooked. Disappointing! Everything else was great. With the help of sploshes of the ketchup, I did eat all of the potatoes… well, I was hungry!

She called to deal with me. She took off my diabetic socks. Brrr! She medicationalised me. She listened to my moaning about the events of the day. Well, she almost did. I can’t remember what it was about, but I’m sure we had a laugh or two. Likely from my tales of woe today?

I can’t even see it in the revealing photo?

I don’t want a day like this again!
It tested & tormented my brain,
Mind you, it wasn’t mundane,
Filled with emotional pain…
Physical aches, language, profane!
Depressions oddly, like a hurricane,
I asked the Carer for Cocaine!
Still, yer don’t like to complain!

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Intricate Inchy: Mon 1 April 2024-Out-of-its Rampant

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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I had mind wanderings, felt out of it, and experienced memory loss. For most of the day, I was in mental confusion. There were no scribbled memory notes on the pad, apart from the date and getting up time (although I thought I had been doing them).
Apart from Carer Joanne and I think Marie, then Christopher… even they may be wrong.
I did go to bed early, I think.
I’m afraid this is not much of a blog. I seem to have been in never-never-mind land for long periods, so I haven’t done any news snippets. Oh, Carer Chris pointed out that my clocks were showing the wrong time, an hour out, so I lost another hour. I’d forgotten to change them for the fifth year. Tsk! Sorry.

No recollection, but I took it, obviously.

Vaguely recall taking these from the kitchenette window of the miserable morning.

Must have intended to tell you a story of the medications, judging by this photo. Not the foggiest idea what, if anything happened. Although I woke with an aching ride shoulder this morning, so just maybe a tumble to doorframe charge?

I must have been in a rare with-it mode here.
I can’t remember prepping or cooking this nosh, but I noticed that I’d cleaned all the cooking utensils when taking the pots to be washed after eating it. No notepad, so no record of the score I gave it, but it went down well, that much I know. Haddock in batter, instant potato with cheese, tomatoes and garden peas. Ah, I remember now… Carer Chris had to help me with prepping the meal. I broke the can opener trying to get open the first can of peas. We found another can with a ring pull, that snapped off! Chris got the heavy-duty pliers bashed his way in, and peeled back the torn lid. Bits and pieces are coming back to me when I see some photos taken, others, I can’t even remember taking. Thanking you  .

Not sure when I took this one. Nice, though.

Took this Kodak Tim shot after washing the pots after the mini feast.

I was sure I’d gotten into the second-hand bed to settle, but I woke up back in the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner. Then again, fantasy, reality, practicality, and mystery often merge together when I’m in this frustrating state of mind.

Hope things improve in the morning. (They did)

TTFN

Imaginal Inchy: Sun 31 Mar 24 Ablutional Nightmare this morning

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Neil Kinnock saidz? Was that an error from the news sight, or did I make it? No, not me, not never. Me? Make a mistake, cock something up… surely not. A man of my edukation and calibre? –
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A confoundingly confusing day, with crises galore!
A spirit-crippling day.
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05:00hrs: What a hue to the morning view.

And flowed, and splattered…


Shaving while standing in a bowl of antiseptic disinfectant to clean the feet, I could not reach, resulted in a cut-free session! I can’t say the same for teeth cleaning, cracked lips or nose. Oh, and of course, as per usual, , & were leaking the haemoglobin freely.

By the time I’d finished shaving and got myself disentangled from the Dettol-watered bowel, the floor in the wet room was a bloody mess. It reminded me of that bloodied thingy movie in the shower. Psycho, was it called? I used the water in the bowl and tipped it on the floor to brush it down the shower drain on the floor. But I forgot to turn the shower power on to make the drain work.
Galore! ensued
The first thing was to move the medical stuff away from the water. Naturally, the bending needed set off the final lesion and Harold’s Haemorrhoids bleeding again, just to add to the chaos, pain and increasing frustration that was building up inside me!  Then I had to leave the wet room to get to the power switch to turn it on in the hallway… on exiting, I walked into the doorframe, which immediately brought Sweet to life.
Crying was considered as an option. As was spitting, cursing and banging my head against the wall. Maybe wailing out as loud as I could… I’m not certain I didn’t actually do that, anyway?

I switched on the power box and hobbled back into the wet room. Gawd Struth! The place looked like an even bigger mess than earlier. The blood was sinking into everything it came in contact with; I just could not move it with the shower spray. So, more pain, I had to use the mop and bucket with bleach and Dettol in the water. But I finally got it looking better. Not properly clean, though. But the domestic help, which was once a week, for 3 weeks. No show for three weeks now. Then, I medicated the delicate areas again. And getting into the protection pants was a smidgen difficult.
She had stiffened up something awful with all the bending and movement she’d been forced into. Just getting the leg in the pants required the use of the picker-upperer, and some cunning tactics had to be employed with this task. I got my bum up against the sink and lowered the pants with the picker-upperer, I needed both hands, so I was taking a bit of a risk if the bum slipped, I was going to go down. The right hand helps lift the leg up high enough, and the left-hand uses the picker-upperer to guide the opening to the foot. On the fifth try, I got the leg in! I had to take a break to recover from the effort. Taking the photo here on the left. Phew! Then getting the left leg in, which was a lot easier in the pants. , was not in such a bad mood. Hehehe! At last, I got the PPs on and slippers on. Only to find out that they had gotten wet and bloodied during the Wet Room Rumble! Aching, hurting, wet, and somewhat peeved off, I checked the taps (faucet) were turned off… and needed another sitting on the . What a change!
I cleaned things up yet again. Then, carefully avoiding any shoulder charges on the doorframe, I meandered out to the kitchenette.
A thickish fog had descended all over Sherwood, probably further, too. Then I carefully limped to the main (other) room and to the balcony doors, to Kodak Tim the bog from there. It looked a little bit eerie with the blue hue.
The Wet Room Farce cost me over 2½ hours, not to mention the pain, blood, and temper not doing my health very good! I didn’t recover properly from the episode. strangely, the tube inserted into poor , calmed down and was less bother for the rest of the day that it’s ever been? Puzzles me this; not complaining!

Sorted the bags out. A new carer arrived.

Made a brew, and started at long last on the blog.

Another new Carer arrived.


A long one!
During this, two caregivers called, and I have no memory of them at all! I saw they had signed in the log. Work, albeit messy and error-prone, had been done on the blog. Also, on CorelDraw? 

I took these Kodak Tim shots of the wonderful clouds in the slowly darkening sky.

The usual fatigue dawned on me; I’d already got some lamb burgers in the oven. So, I closed down the computer and made myself a much-needed meal. So glad I opted for the lamb. 

The catheter day pouch colour was the lightest it’s ever been! But, an hour later when I was getting into the bed… yes the bed, not the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. But the Social people donated an ex-used hospital bed! Initially, kicked off as I settled. Then I worried that I’d left the tap running when I washed the pots, so I got up to check on them, now realising how early I’d settled in the bed; it was not even fully dark out there. So, I got the oven tray I’d missed doing earlier and started to wash it.
rang out, and in came Carer Richard.
This, as it so often does, left me a smidge—what’s the word? Confused will do. After Richard left, and I was climbing back into the ex-NHS bed, I was in panic mode! Did I turn the taps off? I went to investigate-Cragknangles!
The hot water had been left running and ran cold!

I’m hoping for a better day tomorrow!

Hard to believe, but I only managed to find two of them. Sad, innit! Hahaha!,
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Irredivivous Inchy Saturday 30th March 2024

/ Inchie / 3 Comments

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‘s mass of flaked-off skin covered my spectacles, chest, and dressing gown, and left a reasonable deposit on the floor and £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner.
kicked off the moment I moved my left leg. But her joint was utilised to help me bend down to clean up my exuviated skin. The pain and efforts resulted in many visits from , , and .

Carer Chris arrived; he did not put the socks on for me because I’d hoped to get the ablutioning done later today – I didn’t.
Well, several of them. The day shot by, and I hadn’t even started this blog until Saturday (today). I flaked out far earlier than I usually do. Gave up, ate, and spent hours trying to get to sleep.
were rampant. It’s as if they knew I’d drifted off. Sleep? Erm…what’s that then? Hehe!
I keep hoping the Doctor’s receptionist will call to arrange for me to see the medics. Then, if I remember, I can explain my problems to them.
This was likely the worst out-of-it day ever. Thank heavens, I took some pictures. I really cannot recall taking many of them.
I have to see the quack about this. Then again, as last time, a long time ago, when I told her of the situation, she seemed all calm and unconcerned. She mentioned that I’m getting older and have many problems, as do so many other elderly patients. It is to be expected. I almost apologised for mentioning my worries. Hahaha! She’s right, all the same.
Here’s the memory promoters via .

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You’ll notice that no night bag was attached.
This is due to my complicated, infected with brain; and, of course, dying. Maybe some effect from . Possibly in amalgamation with the failed operation, cleverly leaving me with double-vision, and some wonderfully uplifting new skills, like walking into door frames, tripping over unseen objects, and the latest, bending down and hitting left-open cupboard door corners when rushing to turn off hot water tap (faucet), that I so regularly leave to run cold. Hang on. That prompted me to check the taps now! No taps were running, and neither the hob nor the oven was left on… I closed the left-open fridge door! I am so glad I wrote this bit now. My food could have decayed! As I am. Hehehe! Where was I? Oh, yes, the urine nocturnal pouch I forgot to put on. Remembered to ask the last Carer to take off my socks last night. 

The Iceland order arrived. 
The only good thing about the order. They had Heinz pickled Ketchup on special offer.  
Food!
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A close-up of Harry Ramsden’s fish supper planned for tonight, well, tomorrow night’s feast.

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It was nowhere near as bad as yesterday’s. But coming around afterwards, it took me a long time to get into a condition where I could tackle checking the blog work. It didn’t help that I had made so many errors.

Fantastic, beautiful cloud shots.

The catheter pouch has filled much slower today. But the colour was much worse.
Maybe a 5 on the NHS chart.
I’ll ask a carer to check it from this photo for me later, which I did. Joanne said it was a class 6!

It’s getting dark now. After another hour or so on this blog, I felt weariness, so I gave up.

Back to the wet room.

Took this photo.
I had a pareidoliaising feast with this one.
I thought, can others see what I do in it.
In the morning, I copied it in CorelDraw and doctored it with a lot more ‘contrast’, and what I could see became more explicit in the resulting picture.
Can anyone see them? The teddy bear, ghost, face, or the animal? I love pareidoliaising.

Was the catheter pouch still a deep colour?

The late evening clouds seemed to be determined to come to the fore. You can imagine, methinks, what I saw at first with my left double-vision eye. Haha!

So weary now. I made a quick meal.
The bland, pale, undercooked Iceland chicken legs, substituted for the not available thighs, tasted like cardboard would, I imagine. The Heinz beans were also unremarkable. The instant potatoes were very nice, especially with the Heinz pickle-flavoured ketchup.

Took this last shot of the sky.
I was pleased with this one.

I managed to find five of them.

I’m yawning now. But once again, would Sweet Morpheous welcome me? NO! Heaven knows how long it took me to nod off. I had a couple of , which jumped me awake, but I soon nodded off again. I did well once I got off, about 6 hours or so. Gleaned by waking up a lot later than usual, at 05:00hrs.

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Fare Thee Well!

Interfationing Inchy: Wed 27th Mar 24

/ Inchie / 5 Comments

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4:00hrs: I woke feeling oddly a little sprightly (for me). As I tried to rise from the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, uncomfortable, incommodious, unwelcoming and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner. As I did so, gave way on me. The bum bounced down into the recliner, and I got an instant comment from Harold’s Haemorrhoids as they burst, bled and stung. Bad enough, you may think?  This is where comedy came into the morning’s equation! I’d fallen on the TV remote, and there I was in the middle of cursing and verging on self-pity as the TV came on. That momentarily confused me, realised what had happened and got some kitchen roll in the Protection Pants, as I now had , in front, along with bleeding at the back! I lost the first hour of the day cleaning up and medicating. I Got the nocturnal catheter pouch off.

Then a   dawned. As I was metamorphosed into an old, miserable, grouchy, depressed, frustrated, bleeding, in pain, downhearted, depressed, melancholy, forlorn, glum, demoralised, fed up, down in the dumps, in the doldrums, unnerved, chagrined, miffed, sour, sulky, sullen, surly, saddened, subdued, almost sepulchral Inchy.
But within minutes, a stroke of good luck eased my misery by taking my mind off of it. As I was leaving the wet room, I clouted my head, this time on the door frame! 99% of the time, it will be the right shoulder. Blame can be attached to: ,  ,  ,   or any of the ailments really. On this occasion, the culprits were, I think, and or . The eyes are worse than ever now, and I’m sure I’ll have kicked the bucket before my turn comes for the operation. But, sorting youngsters out early is more vital. They have the prospect of living many years with their sight adjusted. We long in the tooth old things, must accept this.

This morning, the sky was a glorious blue hue again. My confusion was worse than usual for the next hour or two. I got out of the wet room, put some Dettol Cream on my head, and got on with the waste bag sorting. A wet, warm sensation from the lower regions. I went back to the wet room to investigate.
There was a smidgen more bleeding from Little Inchy, but it’s not worth mentioning compared to the tsunami that was released yesterday.
Throughout the day, the bleeding was far, even less than it is usually. Had a wash & shave.
Then checked the state of the ankles. No doubt that my was getting better bit by bit.

The areas where the are coming from remain a little rough and red. No pain when the shocks don’t come, and when they do hit, it wakes you if you’re sleeping every time! But the pain lasts for about two seconds, if that. is to blame.
Getting lighter now, I took another Kodak Tim picture from the kitchen window again. The streetlights were off now.
As per usual, the end car parking turnaround area had its regular little bit of a mudslide in it again.

Carer Shaquille arrived. I made an order the J Sainsbury’s for next week. Blogging.
Amending, blogging, correcting, blogging-getting more things wrong, blogging… well, you get the message. Tsk!
Carer Kara arrived. She sorted out the banking problem and said she would try to get in touch with Norton about the three times the bill was taken from the debits another time. She ran out of time today. Care Victor, did the last two calls.
I took these photos later. 
Then went into what I believe was a non-apolectic seizure. Not a mind-block. Because it was like blinking, and an hour had gone, but nothing was done whatsoever when I came around back to this miserable existence.
After the , I’d discover I’d been doing the blog, mopping the kitchen floor, or started cooking something while out of it. A procedure Hehe! Nothing gets done as if I’d fallen asleep, but I know it wasn’t that. I think.  might play a part in this ailment.
At times, I come back to the reality of stinging pains in the lower regions from the catheter bag being too full, and I have to get it emptied swiftly, ASAP.
The sunset was about over by the time I regained a modicum of brain control, rejoined the menagerie of life on offer, and got back to the reality and struggle of living.

I DIDN’T

I gave up on the blogging.

Made myself a meal.
It tasted delicious, too! I could feel my burnt finger on the oven rack and the pain of dropping the hot oven tray onto my foot. Landing on my toe nail.
But the meal was worth the hassle. 

Wrote by Inchie c1953

Search for the meaning of truth,
Look until you’re long in the tooth,
You may find it, Gawd’s strewth,
Facts will have to be dealth…
With those who demand wealth,
Humans want for themselves,
Oligarchs will believe in elves!

See you later, take care of yourselves!