Sleep deprivation

IBS Inchy: Monday 29th April 2024

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

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– Tim Price’s partner has this ailment! –


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More time was spent out of it than with it!
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Up at 05:50hrs: The wee-wee in the nocturnal catheter pouch was a little darker than yesterday’s. Well, that’s got the essential, crucial news out of the way. I am a confused fool.

I made up some waste bags and placed them near the front door for collection. If I remember, I will ask the caregiver to do the same.
Carer Richard arrived. I forgot to ask him to put the diabetic socks on my legs. So, I left it until the midday call, and I hope I remember then.
An afternoon view from the kitchen window. an early evening one. Which had some appeal to it.
In need of the Throne again.
This time, it was the turn of Rock Hard Constipation Conrad to rule the roost. Had a go at the crossword puzzle while intermittently urging the motion to begin. Which it eventually did. Lost a fair bit of blood, though.

I lost hours here to either a or . Most likely a memory blank cause I’d taken photos and made a right mess of the blogging, which needed much repairing and correcting. These on the left were taken in the wet room, obviously.
Can you see the chicken leg bones sticking out? These are the old ulcers, and they were slightly more painful this morning. I hope they are not going to make me come back.
TWO.
Carer Marie came, returning the laundry for me and putting it away for me as well ♥.
All a vagueness then, but I can recall Carer Christopher coming and getting his vittles. Hehehe!

I’m not so  sure when I took this photo. But then again, I’m not sure of anything lately. During the first mind blank, mysteriously disappeared the notepad you see in the snap on the left? It’s all part of the mysteries of the Woodthorpe Court’s sinister Spirit’s master plan: to raise the devil, spread wonders, blunders, rodomontades, fears, and descenders from the comfort of sanity into gibbering wrecks!
Yes, I like that. Inchy, the Gibbering Wreck! Haha!
I feel an ode coming on here…

Bootiful evening shot of the sky here. Not that I can recall taking it. Yet I can remember things from back in the 1950s with almost clarity. Mostly the things I did, got wrong and failed at, mind you.
Ah! This is my evening meal: beef pie, potato patties, and garden peas, with some ketchup and a pickle on the plate. 
I ate it all up with a certain satisfaction.

I still can’t see it?

TTFN

Inchy Inadmissibly: Saturday 20th April 2024

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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Not a lot passed last night.
But it’s a decent colour this morning.

Not ‘arf!

Mug of Glengettie tea, with four biscuits dunked.

Those makes that come and go on the lens are back. No matter what I try to clean it with, they suit themselves, whether of not to smudge my Kodak Camera photographs. Tsk!

I took another shot and zoomed in a bit. But the smudges are there in this one, too.

Carer Christopher arrived. Nibbles and drinkies were selected. I’d lost the receipt for the Heron Food Store. I’d been searching for ages, and Chris found it!

The smudge was still there in the end car park shot!

The catheter supplies box and the new straps that Kara had organised were delivered that day. She thinks they may ease the pressure on Little Inchy. I hope so!
Kara will not be back until Monday or Tuesday, I hope they help. Oh, I just said that!

Brightening up out there now as the sun intrudes on the rather pretty view. The smudge is still on.

I felt it coming, I thought?

Carer Sam arrived; I’ve not seen her for ages.
Painkillers, and she did the safety checks.
After she was gone, I discovered that the Alert Alarm Wristlet was not on my arm  Ah! I must have left it in the wet room. But no, there were no signs of it in there. On, around, and under the bed were searched. Nope! In the cupboards, drawers, etc., Nope!
Hoping I didn’t need it, I got on with the blogging for a few hours.

Photo to the left.
This one is to the right.
I do love these puffer clouds.

I went into the kitchen again to prep the meal.
As gave me a turn, I grabbed hold of the draining board to steady my elf. And there, lying on the kitchen towel, in the draining rack, was the wristlet alarm! Gorrit!

I made a vegetable stew today. All I needed to do was to bake some potato bits to add to the vegetables and sauce already in the saucepan. No smudge?

I woke up, although I wasn’t unaware I’d fallen asleep. I could see the mess I had made on the blog, presumably in a stupor of some sort. A  was engaged, and I nervously checked the cooker, taps, etc., with surprising results.

① The taps were all off. ② The fridge door was shut… and ③ I realised that I had already eaten the vegetable stew, ④ and washed the pots!
When I returned to the front room, another surprise surprised me! The evening Caregiver had already  been. I realised further that this was correct, as the diabetic socks had been removed. I had not the vaguest memory until I noticed  his. I had to check the Caregiver’s log to see who had called! It was Christopher. The nibble box contents had been significantly reduced, so I knew it had to have been either Chris or Helen. Bits of foil from the medications were on the carpet. Haha!

I then proceeded to fall asleep properly this time. I didn’t have the energy or willpower to sort out the blog mistakes anyway.

The last call was from Carer Vi tor. Medicated me and attached the night bag for me.
These Carers’ names cannot be guaranteed to be accurate. Not in the state I’m in.

I found them! Eventually… well, alright then, I found two of them, or maybe one? I can’t tell the difference in the lower left circle with the prawn. Is it a shrimp? I’m not optimistic about the chocolate, either.

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Fare Thee All Well!

Inaccurate Inchy: Friday 12th April 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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A LONG DAY…
Up at 05:15hrs, doing this at (now) 23:55hrs! Friday started reasonably well and ended up 18 hours later with the fire alarm alerting. The potatoes burnt, and cleaning up the mess took me three hours. Burnt finger, dropped the second saucepan on my legs and dressing gown… I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
I’d got the intro bit done but little else. I started on it Saturday morning. I’m in the new bed at approximately 04:30 hrs, and I have cramps in both legs. The right eye is so painful, and the vision in both is terrible… I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
I woke when Carer Chris arrived.
I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
Getting out of bed in the morning was a struggle and a half. Carer Chris aided me. Got up on the sticks, & joined in the pain-giving antics of the other ailments that had been attacking for the previous four hours of sleep… I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
This will be a short one, but at least I took some photos; some I recall taking, others not. Oh, and I forgot to ask the Carer to take off my diabetic socks for me, and also, the Catheter Night Bag was not attached. The lad was trying to let me get back to sleep, I think, bless him. He did mention how poorly I looked, which was a rarity. As a man living a fit & healthy lifestyle and at a young age, I am usually a bundle of joy & happiness, laughing, joking, giving, and forever yodelling and singing…
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Of, dearie me, the ablutions went hellish this morning… But not the

Bad picture of the better ankles

Morning view.

Through the balcony windows.

Afternoon views.

A few hours later. Bootiful!

I worked all day on blogging and still hadn’t caught up. I was well gone by 03:00 hrs before giving it up. That was when the smell of burning was detected, followed shortly by the fire alarm. I think the timing is right.

This is possibly my worst-ever attempt to take a shot of the moon high in the sky! Four failures, but they did have an element of modern art. Is it suitable for the Tate Gallery? Perhaps, maybe?

Huh!. I missed this shot taken earlier.

I got it within 2 seconds… when I looked at the revealed answer. Hehehe!

The burnt potatoes from the large saucepan.
The mess where things had boiled over.
I got some not-so-bad potatoes with almost dried-out vegetables. Washed up and had the Accifauxpas mentioned above!
I’d sooner not mention this again. I may have to start looking for somewhere else to live.
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Depression does not dawn so often. It just stays for longer & longer… It’s rotten!

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TTFN

Inactivated Inchy: Thursday 11th April 2024

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INCHY TO BUY APARTMENT Ha, Ha, Ha, As if!
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A little lighter colour this morning.
Morning sky shot
And… a ground shot!

Balcony doors.

Later on, a kitchen view.

End car park.

Kitchenette.

Midday gloom. It did brighten a bit later.

Nearly caught me out again!

I took this Kodak Tim shot.
Then tiredness & weariness dawned.
The plan was to get some sleep in before the teatime caller came and then get back on the blog.
This plan did not come to fruition!
I struggled to get stripped and clambered into the bed. In particular,  gave forth pains, complaining as I got in and settled into the new second-hand bed. I struggled further, getting into a pain-free position for sleep.
Eventually, I was satisfied that I’d got it as good as I was going to and cleaned up the mess I’d made around the bed, got the overbed table in position with the flat torch, the mobile phone and a bottle of water on it, and climbed painfully into a raise prone position which I thought was okay. It wasn’t!
I just got myself deeper into a mess again. Not being able to see or understand the controller did not help much. Within two minutes of my laying down in the snug bed, I’m afraid that
kicked off. Annoyed and frustrated, I got out, made the bed and put the overbed table up on it. With was angry at all the leg lifting needed.
I was now verging on sinking into the mammoth depression as I got back into the c1968 itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. But at least I found , at long last. I had turned on the TV, and the 16:00hrs News was starting, but I soon drifted off into a wonderful oblivion. Heavenly sleep! But it didn’t last long. Five minutes later, turned up, full of the joys of spring. Hahaha! He issued the medications, and I was in the chair for the entire visit, mumbling about needing sleep! Hehehe! He didn’t hang out and left me wishing I could get some sleep!
Which I did within minutes of Chris departing, a deep, wonderful, dream-filled at times, but not bad ones. I slept for an hour at least… then, you’ve probably guessed, started off! They didn’t last for very long. But they put an end to any more silly hopes and dreams of getting to sleep… at least until for two hours or so when I managed to nod off back to kip in the £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner. For five minutes, and the return of made his last call. The lad took off the diabetic socks and issued the medications by torchlight. Bless him. I told him to take some nibbles and a cold drink from the fridge. Oh, and a can of Corona beer. I think I nodded away as soon as he’d departed. And stayed in the good-dream-filled slumber for about 3 hours, 
I woke, unsure of where I was, when it was, and my tormented mind full of self-lambasting, guilt, shame and embarrassment-filled memory recollections from . Worran ‘orrible night!

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Go Forth & Enjoy!

Inactivity Inchy: Wednesday 10 April 2024

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It took me ages to get to sleep again after the last Carer call for Christopher. When I did float off, I kept waking up repeatedly. Cragnangles!
But last night’s coughing, sore throat and sneezing had disappeared. Thankfully.
I pottered about and got the waste bags sorted for collection. 
Again, the evacuation seemed as solid as a rock.
I didn’t even try to force it; I left it to nature and counted the cracks in the ceiling. Still no motion. So, I got on the crossword puzzling book. I was getting brave, but the expected anticipated torpedo needed some encouragement. Which hurt a bit, but things flowed.

Red ski in the morning, Shepherds Warning?

I trapped my finger in the cupboard door, pulled my hand away, and knocked over the kitchen towel and its holder. I spent an hour or so trying to get it glued back together. If I’m gentle with it from now on, it might last for a while.
Back to the wet room and deposited myself on the Throne.
The relief of the last visit a short while ago was forgotten about. had returned with a vengeance! Tsk!
As I left the room, taking care not to walk into the doorframe this time, chimed and in walked .

A, or maybe it may have been a; I can’t recall Shaquille leaving, yet a glimmer of me in the hallway saying cheers lingers at the back of my mind. So, maybe I can after all.

called on me. I remember all of this visit… I think. Kara booked the two hospital lifts for me. Ah, maybe I can’t recall all of it! I seem to believe that Kara rang the Doctors for me, but I have no idea why and am not sure she did. Things are not good in the head’s hard drive today, not that they have been for many months. Kara also checked the two emails and text I was struggling with. 
Checked the dates on the food in the fridge for me; that’s a great help. Sometimes Kara finds out-of-date items that, with my failing eyesight, I cannot read, the print is too small, and her cotton socks. ♥.
I shot ominously dark clouds, which could be seen again, as last week, lurking about up in the sky.
I missed this Kodak Tim shot earlier. Or did I? I’ll have a look now. Yes, I missed it off. It’s a pleasant-looking view of local homes near the flats. Three murder spots have been in view this year already. Two muggings were on the cut-through between the houses. I had no idea what happened last night, but I saw the blue flashings from the police cars and ambulance. It’s all clear this morning, though. I’ll keep an eye on the news to get some snippets. 
 Time to get some food down me now.
I’ll need to pay close attention to this meal. It has the same base as yesterday’s. The vegetables bake for 25 minutes. Then, I must add the vegetarian sausages 15 minutes later, no, 10 minutes later. When the 20  minutes were up, I put the root-vegetable potatoes in the microwave for five minutes, as if I knew what I was talking about! 
I really cocked it up in the morning. I was checking the SD card and thought what a great job I’d done taking a picture of the second vegetarian meal in two days, effort. Minutes later, I got the car in the slot… but the snap of the meal had done a runner! Or, conversely, I may have hit the delete button by mistake. This now seems more likely, as Peripheral Neuropathy, making the fingers numb to touch, is getting more frequent and lasting longer. (Mind you, it comes in handy when one burns a finger or hand on the oven; one doesn’t feel the pain! Until I smell the burning and take a look – then the brain gets the message from the warped eyes, and I do feel the belated pain. I’ve noticed this. Mistakes on the keyboard have got me into many a pickle this last week. Well, this week, as well!

TTFNski!

Insecure Inchy: Sat 6 Apr 24, I made a decision!

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Dark again.

Refilled the carer’s & nurses’ nibble boxes.

My knees are bad this morning.

Motionless.

Carer Christopher called. The little scallywag.

First view with Kodak Tim.
The clouds are still different today.

Whoops!

Off to the wet room to empty the catheter pouch out, and tried again on the Throne...
Oh, dear!

Blogging was a slow job; I’m going to have to give up.
Carer Joanne turned up earlier than usual. Always nice to see her. A little laugh available is good!

The Mystery Chest Pains are back now. Suppose it might be something to do with the reluctance of the bowels to produce anything? 

The clouds are even more beautiful now.

I’m blogging away, but now I’m bothered with the card reader reading the cards. I’m fed up! It takes about four tries to read the cards every time I use it. Not good! Gloom and doom!
Later I took another shot of the kitchen sky view.

Going to get something to eat now.
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Still too dark.

The shrunken in the wash new dressing gown was washed twice, and now the pockets are hanging off, and the belt loops are loose, ready to drop off.

Any idiot could work this one out…
But I couldn’t!

Sorry about this…
But, my physical and mental conditions are making things too time-consuming for me to cope with writing a full blog. I’ve been on the computer often for 18 hours on the trot. Stopping for nurses, deliveries, and/or Caregivers calling. Getting back to what and where I was is so confusing. Thus, taking me even more time to catch up and work rings out. I so loved doing them as well. 
I’ve decided to try to do the top part, including Cartoons, Odes, Snippets, etc. Medical appointments, and will add any photographs taken if I have time and the computer lets me. Maybe a description of any Whoopsiedangleplops, if any. (IF? Hahaha!)
I’ve had to make this decision, and making decisions is one of my later-in-life problems. The mind and memory blanks and now the non-epileptic seizures are getting a little more frequent, so much that often don’t mention them as anything worthy of going in the blog. They are diurnal.
My concentration seems to have retrograded this morning; hence, this is written while things are clearer in my head. (How long for? Who Knows.) 

They soon returned. The vacillating, wavering, indecision, hesitancy, uncertainty, hemming and hawing, shilly-shallying, dilly-dallying, concentration-distracting, fretting, worrying, fussing, panicking, and stressing are rife, too often for me now. 
disconcertions, embarrassments, self-loathings, misperceptions, tizzies, misunderstandings, apprehensiveness, topsy-turviness, vagueness, and an invaded brain full of a salmagundi of unwanted moods and modes, including, at times, the odd hallucination, fantasy, and stubborn delusion.
Common sense rarely makes an appearance. But it 
did this morning, making this decision!
I still await the appointment to see a Dementia psychologist. Glaucoma, cataracts and knee operations. But it is the brain that needs help more, I think. I can’t find anyone with the same symptoms to talk with. I believe FND is part of the cause.

After talking to the lady at the audio clinic and finding out that she had FND, I found I had every symptom she mentioned worrying about. The effects are so weird that she said she believes no one believes her – ditto! But it’s not easy to understand or diagnose, let alone treat it. I agree with her about her frustrations. My Doctor gives me the same feelings. It must be hard for anyone to take in.

Glad I got this on record while my head is clearer now. I can get back to being me when my mind abandons me again and wanders off. 

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TTFN, Keep Safe Each ♥

Inchy’s Daymare! Thur 4 Apr – Flood, I left taps on twice, Community Nurse, Wardens telling me off, self loathing, and frustrations

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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I’m unsure what or who to blame for today’s lunchtime disaster. may have been the natural culprit, but she might well have been supported to a degree, possibly, by , or maybe I had a , or even might have had a visit? It was embarrassing, annoying, angering, and so frustrating. I felt worth about tuppence after Kara found the mess, and sorted it for me. I’ll explain about this cock-up come now, to get it out of the road that I was so humiliated with committing. Here goes, then…

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP OF THE YEAR!
There I was, bashing away at blogging and catching up. Carer Kara called. She replaced the Catheter Day Pouch for me and got some socks on me. She emptied out what was left in the pouch and took it to the wet room for emptying, I heard her call, but did not know what it was she said… but the tone told me I was not going to like it. Simultaneously, my EQ told me I’d get into Schnook!   I got ,  and I went with dread in my innards to the wet room.
The completely flooded wet room! It was coming over the stop-ledge onto the hallway carpet! At one point, the word Tzunami came to mind!
And there, in the midst of the man-made lake, the floor drain is not working because the shower has to be working for the drain to start. Kara bless her, got stuck into mopping up the flood and tipping; I think she said eight buckets of collected water in the WC. I’d left the damned hot water tap running again!
Instantly, my self-esteem shrank to zero; I became self-conscious, unsettled, ashamed, humiliated, remorseful, contrite, and castigated, and this turned to embarrassingly feeling chastened, castigated, sheepish, and guilty all at once!
I ran her Obergruppenfurheress to tell her what had happened and that she would be late for her next appointment. I can imagine what was said about this. My blameworthiness got worse now, but it got even worse minutes later. Obergruppenfürheress Warden Deana and Brigade Fürheress Warden Julie both arrived with worse news. Julies flat below was flooded! My self-recrimination didn’t really need any help by being told they may have to have me evicted. Even if she had a smile on her face. Hehehe!
I asked if they would take my apologise to Julie with some nibbles and drinkies. Which they kindly agreed to for me. Kara was a treasure helping me out like she did. Thank you very kindly, gal! ♥
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According to my memory notepad, I got up at 05:30hrs. Just a few   overnight. The problem was getting to sleep. I felt properly worn out as well, but Sweet Morpheus wasn’t letting me for an hour of more. Drifted off eventually. 
Not that it was planned, but I got the kitchen floor cleaned by using the Speed-mop. I wouldn’t use the mop and bucket, so as to save the hot water from running too cool, for when I planned this afternoon to have a jolly good wash and shaving session. (What with the later flood the hot water now being colder than the cold water, this did not happen. Huh!) Both cartilages were playing me up again.
Carer Chris came, put on my socks, medicated me, and took the laundry down, telling me he’d bring it back up later when it was done. I thanked him profusely. Well, he’s a cheeky but nice bloke. I’m glad that Rishi didn’t stop him from getting in.
Nearly missed this Kodak Tim photo I took when I was mopping the floor earlier. It was a good effort, but still pretty.
Into the wet room to use the .
But realised I’d left it there when I went in earlier.
So I emptied the night bag.
I gathered the waste bags into a large bag and placed them near the front door. Then, I went into the kitchen to see what I could have for a treat for tonight’s meal. Potato chunks, peas and lamb burgers seemed a good idea to me. Then again, me and good ideas don’t really go together, if you know what I’m saying. Cause I have the tremendous ability to misread, miss-see, and miss-hear at the same time. Not to mention having a seizure, mind-blank, or forgetting where, what, why or how I was doing anything at any time.
The district nurse visited. Checking on the legs, weighed me, checked the acne. Removed the socks to see how the leg ulcers had got so much easier. The leaking legs had stopped altogether; she was impressed, she said. Then, she looked at my privates and was not pleased at all with the mess the catheter tube had caused down there. She noted that one goolie was larger than the other. I explained that about 6 months ago, it was the size of a grapefruit but had gone down without any medicationing being done to or on it. She said to feel them every day; if any growth is felt to the right testicle, I’ve to call the Clinic straight away. I thanked her and insisted she tales some nibbles and a drink in thanks.

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP OF THE YEAR!
I won’t upset myself by repeating things.

Carer Chris returned the laundry, and I hung it up. Not the towels, I forgot to put them in the bag.
I tried to take a snap of the Ex-NHS bed adjuster controller that they kindly got for me, adjuster controller.
I’m not sure what happened, but I missed it completely. Maybe one of the cartilages gave way? This is happening so often today that I barely notice them unless they give all the way, of course. Then, I usually notice when I tumble to the floor. I tried again to get a picture and managed to get the one above. There are no instructions; it is all graphical. But I’m blown if I can understand it. 
I took this shot of the front car park, but with little interest, I’m afraid. I was feeling so low about flooding Julie’s and my wet room. I think I’ve said above that ‘Guilt’ is the overbearing sentiment.
It suddenly went dark outside. This photo was taken on , and minutes later, the sun was coming through again?
I started to get the things ready for making a meal.
Washing the pots that had not been done earlier due to the Whoopsie with the damned hot water tap in the were room. I felt the catheter pouch pulling; boy, was it full and ready for emptying; the flow back when this happened gave me the sensation I used to get when I could manually pee. Hehehe! Off to the WC and drained it.
When done, I forgot all about the washing up I had been doing and got back onto the computer and blogging. I spent around an hour or so on this and decided to make the second brew of permitted tea of the day. Off to the kitchenette, and…
WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP Mark Two!
I’d left the hot water tap running in the kitchen sink this time!
All the same, emotions as I had after the first cock-up in the wet room. I got a nervous rash coming up this time, and for some reason, the Acne flared at the same time. I know this time it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as the earlier one, but making the same error twice in a day is not only a record for me, but it lowered my interest and shattered any hopes for some mental improvement. Plus, my submitting to the wiles and rule of . But, of course, this meant the water was cold again, and it ruined my hopes of getting the shower and shaving for tonight. I must get up early in the morning and get it done. My EQ just laughed at me when I wrote this? Wonder what are the odds of me getting up early? It will be 2½ days since I had a shower or shave. So I’m dirty bodily, struggling emotionally and mentally. I must get up as soon as I wake up… oh, the wet room might need more cleaning after using… I wish I could stop thinking! 
I went to the wet room WC to empty the day pouch again. The urine smelt awful! What next should I moan and groan about?
Sinking into a mild depression and giving up hopes and any chance of improvement, I concentrated on getting the meal to be cooked right and tasty at the same time. I tried to put my failures out of my mind for a while. I put some ready-made garlic potato cubes in the oven. I forget their name now. They have a bit of garlic and thyme in them – gorrit! Parmentier potatoes. (I looked them up on the web.)They needed 30 minutes to cook in the oven. So the oven was already heated with the tray in it, so I added the potatoes. (Hence the little burn mark on my right knuckle) Then back to save the work done and turn off the computer. 15 minutes for the tray of J. Sainsbury’s lamb & vegetable hotpot to do in the microwave. I was concentrating hard on getting things right, no idea why I bothered). Some of the tomato ketchup with pickle to zing it up a side, and the last brown baguette to soak up the gravy. Got it dished up on the tray, it looked fantastic.
But the potatoes let it down. They had been in the oven for longer that the 30 minutes it said on the wrapper, 40 minutes at least, but they were still undercooked. Disappointing! Everything else was great. With the help of sploshes of the ketchup, I did eat all of the potatoes… well, I was hungry!

She called to deal with me. She took off my diabetic socks. Brrr! She medicationalised me. She listened to my moaning about the events of the day. Well, she almost did. I can’t remember what it was about, but I’m sure we had a laugh or two. Likely from my tales of woe today?

I can’t even see it in the revealing photo?

I don’t want a day like this again!
It tested & tormented my brain,
Mind you, it wasn’t mundane,
Filled with emotional pain…
Physical aches, language, profane!
Depressions oddly, like a hurricane,
I asked the Carer for Cocaine!
Still, yer don’t like to complain!

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TTFN

Irredivivous Inchy Saturday 30th March 2024

/ Inchie / 3 Comments

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‘s mass of flaked-off skin covered my spectacles, chest, and dressing gown, and left a reasonable deposit on the floor and £300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner.
kicked off the moment I moved my left leg. But her joint was utilised to help me bend down to clean up my exuviated skin. The pain and efforts resulted in many visits from , , and .

Carer Chris arrived; he did not put the socks on for me because I’d hoped to get the ablutioning done later today – I didn’t.
Well, several of them. The day shot by, and I hadn’t even started this blog until Saturday (today). I flaked out far earlier than I usually do. Gave up, ate, and spent hours trying to get to sleep.
were rampant. It’s as if they knew I’d drifted off. Sleep? Erm…what’s that then? Hehe!
I keep hoping the Doctor’s receptionist will call to arrange for me to see the medics. Then, if I remember, I can explain my problems to them.
This was likely the worst out-of-it day ever. Thank heavens, I took some pictures. I really cannot recall taking many of them.
I have to see the quack about this. Then again, as last time, a long time ago, when I told her of the situation, she seemed all calm and unconcerned. She mentioned that I’m getting older and have many problems, as do so many other elderly patients. It is to be expected. I almost apologised for mentioning my worries. Hahaha! She’s right, all the same.
Here’s the memory promoters via .

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You’ll notice that no night bag was attached.
This is due to my complicated, infected with brain; and, of course, dying. Maybe some effect from . Possibly in amalgamation with the failed operation, cleverly leaving me with double-vision, and some wonderfully uplifting new skills, like walking into door frames, tripping over unseen objects, and the latest, bending down and hitting left-open cupboard door corners when rushing to turn off hot water tap (faucet), that I so regularly leave to run cold. Hang on. That prompted me to check the taps now! No taps were running, and neither the hob nor the oven was left on… I closed the left-open fridge door! I am so glad I wrote this bit now. My food could have decayed! As I am. Hehehe! Where was I? Oh, yes, the urine nocturnal pouch I forgot to put on. Remembered to ask the last Carer to take off my socks last night. 

The Iceland order arrived. 
The only good thing about the order. They had Heinz pickled Ketchup on special offer.  
Food!
.
A close-up of Harry Ramsden’s fish supper planned for tonight, well, tomorrow night’s feast.

.

It was nowhere near as bad as yesterday’s. But coming around afterwards, it took me a long time to get into a condition where I could tackle checking the blog work. It didn’t help that I had made so many errors.

Fantastic, beautiful cloud shots.

The catheter pouch has filled much slower today. But the colour was much worse.
Maybe a 5 on the NHS chart.
I’ll ask a carer to check it from this photo for me later, which I did. Joanne said it was a class 6!

It’s getting dark now. After another hour or so on this blog, I felt weariness, so I gave up.

Back to the wet room.

Took this photo.
I had a pareidoliaising feast with this one.
I thought, can others see what I do in it.
In the morning, I copied it in CorelDraw and doctored it with a lot more ‘contrast’, and what I could see became more explicit in the resulting picture.
Can anyone see them? The teddy bear, ghost, face, or the animal? I love pareidoliaising.

Was the catheter pouch still a deep colour?

The late evening clouds seemed to be determined to come to the fore. You can imagine, methinks, what I saw at first with my left double-vision eye. Haha!

So weary now. I made a quick meal.
The bland, pale, undercooked Iceland chicken legs, substituted for the not available thighs, tasted like cardboard would, I imagine. The Heinz beans were also unremarkable. The instant potatoes were very nice, especially with the Heinz pickle-flavoured ketchup.

Took this last shot of the sky.
I was pleased with this one.

I managed to find five of them.

I’m yawning now. But once again, would Sweet Morpheous welcome me? NO! Heaven knows how long it took me to nod off. I had a couple of , which jumped me awake, but I soon nodded off again. I did well once I got off, about 6 hours or so. Gleaned by waking up a lot later than usual, at 05:00hrs.

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Fare Thee Well!

Inadvisability Inchy: Fri 29 Mar 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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I made a deliberate mistake in this Ode; Ahem!
I wrote Further, instead of another word. Would
anyone like to guess what it should have been?
Deliberate mistake… I am a fibber!
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Much more out-of-it than with-it today.
Moments for sheer frustration, littered with strange, weird, eerie, unaccountable moments of ‘Soditisms’.
During these spasms, I was so high that nothing seemed to bother me in the least. But, they were short and rare and were usually followed by a Depression full of self-loathing, then a realisation that I am to blame for my past guilt. Then, the circle would start again.
I think I’ve mentioned these to the Doctor, but I’m not sure. Maybe not; I’ve not seen her for many months.
On the bright side, the throughout the day, added up to only four!
I left the hot water tap (faucet) running again and burnt the food in the oven. The eyes are terrible nowadays. Any distance and things seem to have another image above themselves. Like a shadow, but clear. I’m looking now through the balcony window, and all the houses look like they have two roofs.
The catheter is a lot less painful than yesterday, mind you. My coughing has also calmed down compared to last night. I’ve walked into nothing. Fair do’s, I’ve dropped the cutlery, saucepan, washing up bottle, picker-upperer, tablets and my pen (four times).
So, all in all, a typical day.
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Night pouch.

Medicationings.

My ankles look fine.

The first emptying of the day bag.

Opening the balcony windows.

Over the next five hours, the views remained similar.
I kept nipping out to take a view or two.
Between making a mess of this blog.
Gorgeous!
Wonderful.
Magnificent.
Wunderbar!

I was busying away and getting a little done.
Caregiver calls only confused me. After they left, I found it nearly impossible at times to get back to what I was working on, often veering off to the wrong project and getting deeper into a mind-muddle. Memory-Blanks were rampant. For some reason, I did not keep up with the memory notes on the pad. Now, so long later (Saturday A.M. started on this section), the photos help prompt me a little. Not many of them, either. Any slight disturbance, change whatever, and I was lost again. Sorry about this

Fifth Catheter Bag Emptying (I think).

Gave up computing. I was in a long-lasting period of haziness. But can recall Carer Christopher arriving.
Cheeky-Faced Chris. Hehe!
While talking, I remembered I’d left the sausages cooking in the oven… yet again!
I hastened hobblingly to the kitchen.
Got the mini sausages, which were not burnt too much, into the pan of BBQ beans and tomato sauce with chunky vegetables and stirred while rewarding them,
I ate up most of them with two brown baguettes.

I took this night view and got settled into the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus. But the mind would not let me rest enough to capture the bliss of sleep. Immediately started an attack of lambasting, self-hating, repeating so many things, wrong choices I’d made over the tears. Even an occasion that took place when I was just an ankle-biter, which I was not proud about doing… it was horrible being forced to listen to myself, listing and bringing back to mind the shame and self-disgust from the time all those so many years ago.
As I tossed and twisted, I felt the Catheter tube pulling on Little Inchie. I 
realised then that I had not attached the Nocturnal Pouch yet. So, I did!

By the time I’d fumbled about to get the bags linked, my & both went off simultaneously. Miraculously, bearing in mind the viciousness of the leg dance, I didn’t go over or tumble. I’ve not had a fall all week. . I may regret saying this later, Haha!

TTFNski each!

Interfationing Inchy: Wed 27th Mar 24

/ Inchie / 5 Comments

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4:00hrs: I woke feeling oddly a little sprightly (for me). As I tried to rise from the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, uncomfortable, incommodious, unwelcoming and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner. As I did so, gave way on me. The bum bounced down into the recliner, and I got an instant comment from Harold’s Haemorrhoids as they burst, bled and stung. Bad enough, you may think?  This is where comedy came into the morning’s equation! I’d fallen on the TV remote, and there I was in the middle of cursing and verging on self-pity as the TV came on. That momentarily confused me, realised what had happened and got some kitchen roll in the Protection Pants, as I now had , in front, along with bleeding at the back! I lost the first hour of the day cleaning up and medicating. I Got the nocturnal catheter pouch off.

Then a   dawned. As I was metamorphosed into an old, miserable, grouchy, depressed, frustrated, bleeding, in pain, downhearted, depressed, melancholy, forlorn, glum, demoralised, fed up, down in the dumps, in the doldrums, unnerved, chagrined, miffed, sour, sulky, sullen, surly, saddened, subdued, almost sepulchral Inchy.
But within minutes, a stroke of good luck eased my misery by taking my mind off of it. As I was leaving the wet room, I clouted my head, this time on the door frame! 99% of the time, it will be the right shoulder. Blame can be attached to: ,  ,  ,   or any of the ailments really. On this occasion, the culprits were, I think, and or . The eyes are worse than ever now, and I’m sure I’ll have kicked the bucket before my turn comes for the operation. But, sorting youngsters out early is more vital. They have the prospect of living many years with their sight adjusted. We long in the tooth old things, must accept this.

This morning, the sky was a glorious blue hue again. My confusion was worse than usual for the next hour or two. I got out of the wet room, put some Dettol Cream on my head, and got on with the waste bag sorting. A wet, warm sensation from the lower regions. I went back to the wet room to investigate.
There was a smidgen more bleeding from Little Inchy, but it’s not worth mentioning compared to the tsunami that was released yesterday.
Throughout the day, the bleeding was far, even less than it is usually. Had a wash & shave.
Then checked the state of the ankles. No doubt that my was getting better bit by bit.

The areas where the are coming from remain a little rough and red. No pain when the shocks don’t come, and when they do hit, it wakes you if you’re sleeping every time! But the pain lasts for about two seconds, if that. is to blame.
Getting lighter now, I took another Kodak Tim picture from the kitchen window again. The streetlights were off now.
As per usual, the end car parking turnaround area had its regular little bit of a mudslide in it again.

Carer Shaquille arrived. I made an order the J Sainsbury’s for next week. Blogging.
Amending, blogging, correcting, blogging-getting more things wrong, blogging… well, you get the message. Tsk!
Carer Kara arrived. She sorted out the banking problem and said she would try to get in touch with Norton about the three times the bill was taken from the debits another time. She ran out of time today. Care Victor, did the last two calls.
I took these photos later. 
Then went into what I believe was a non-apolectic seizure. Not a mind-block. Because it was like blinking, and an hour had gone, but nothing was done whatsoever when I came around back to this miserable existence.
After the , I’d discover I’d been doing the blog, mopping the kitchen floor, or started cooking something while out of it. A procedure Hehe! Nothing gets done as if I’d fallen asleep, but I know it wasn’t that. I think.  might play a part in this ailment.
At times, I come back to the reality of stinging pains in the lower regions from the catheter bag being too full, and I have to get it emptied swiftly, ASAP.
The sunset was about over by the time I regained a modicum of brain control, rejoined the menagerie of life on offer, and got back to the reality and struggle of living.

I DIDN’T

I gave up on the blogging.

Made myself a meal.
It tasted delicious, too! I could feel my burnt finger on the oven rack and the pain of dropping the hot oven tray onto my foot. Landing on my toe nail.
But the meal was worth the hassle. 

Wrote by Inchie c1953

Search for the meaning of truth,
Look until you’re long in the tooth,
You may find it, Gawd’s strewth,
Facts will have to be dealth…
With those who demand wealth,
Humans want for themselves,
Oligarchs will believe in elves!

See you later, take care of yourselves!