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A confusing day. Mind Blanks, drifting off into sleep, even when on the computer. I’d had the longest unbroken sleep for ages, yet this did nothing to curb the drooping eyes, lack of concentration and endless run of depression bouts, varying between a few minutes, and hours. I have been nibbling all day long, never eaten so much in a day for many a month.
Generally feeling fatigued without cause or reason.
0400hrs; Woke up, and just laid there, almost unthinkingly, in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibblings, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly-grotty, no longer working, dirty beige recliner, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300, ten years ago from the charity shop. Four what must have been an hour or so. Joined by 
, which I don’t think bothered me too much at the time. It felt like having a video playing repetitively in my head, over several mistakes and bad options I’d taken many years ago. I surrendered any resistance, considering myself worthy of the self-lambasting verbal flow.
A good shade this morning.
Three early morning views.
The high moon in the amazingly light sky.
When I got back to the kitchen, the sky seemed to have gotten a lot, very grown much darker?
Or, did I set 
wrongly?
Closer up.
Even closer.
Not sure why I took this one.
I mosied along to the computer and got myself in a pickle, as I made so many errors, unfelt key depressions, and ended up having to close each open programme, and restart, in the hopes of getting the keyboard that I’d some-buggered up. Miraculously, when I rebooted it was working again.
This temporarily cheered me up.
I went out on the balcony to try and take a shot of the end car park, now seemingly permanent mudslide.
A pad patch here. Two hours at least. I’d just become aware of things, and a new Carer Called. I hope she does again, too. 
, a lovely gal. She introduced herself, and got the leg strappings on, and sorted the medications for me.
Well, blanks, really. Several over about an hour
I can recall taking this shot. I was in a depression at the time; the keyboard was playing up again… or maybe 
was, or both of us?
A Carer called, who and when I’m not certain. But after she or he had been, I deflated spiritually and physically. The computer turned off, and I got an early meal made. I swear I thought I’d taken two photos of that meal, recalling that the first one was so bad, that I took another one. But much, much later, hours later, after my failed attempts at sleeping or watching TV, when I got around to putting the photographs on the blog, it was on the card. Yet, the photo of the ice cream I had for desserts, was there on the SD card? 
!
The attempt to get to sleep failed.
So, I tried watching TV. That failed and became so annoying, I got all agitated with myself. I get have few nodding-offs of a minute or so. No phone calls came in all day. Which is not unusual, but this brought on another depression and bouts of self-pity.
I am having a bad day.
Cheered when I had an Email from HRH Lisa. ♥
I literally sat there afterwards, with the TV pointlessly on, not being controllable, as, indeed, my mind was in a similar position, hazy.
I decided to get back on the computer again and I might as well stay up to get some New Year fireworks shots taken. But my confidence in getting any is minimal, to say the least. But I’ll try, but will I cope with falling asleep and missing them… or the shots coming out badly? Which is likely, as I type this, my old friend 
is kicking off, and not showing any signs of stopping yet.
Pressed on with this blog, to get as much done as I can before the planned fireworks photographicalisationing begins. If I don’t fall asleep! I didn’t. I think I was doing graphics for the blogs for a couple of hours, but it was going excruciatingly slow.
The late Carer removed the ankle and leg strappings and ointmentated the lower legs. They were not painful at all during the day but started itching away on removal. Resisting scratching was a hard job. Hehe! However, they were a lot better than they had been lately, so a positive at last. The only pain was from the ingrowing toenail toe, that I proceeded to make worse by stubbing it on the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner leg. It seems to be going a darker colour and bent more now?
Around 23:00hrs, I tried to take a decent shot of the end car park mudslide; you can just make it out.
The time (midnight) came for me to attempt to take the New Year fireworks photos from the kitchen window. Unbelievably bad shots they were too!
Unintendedly artistic, though?
Unintendedly artistic, though?
Unintendedly artistic, though?
Unintendedly artistic, though?
For a New Year, suitably so,
Artistic, but not a Gainsborough,
Showing a hint of fe-fi-fo?
As into the New Year, we flow…
As a sage, these things I know,
Sunak Rishi will have to go…
A defeated Tory will whistle-blow!
The little boats will exceedingly grow…
For Starmer, a coming body blow!
He will become a confused Pinocchio,
World War instigated via Moscow,
President Xi Jinping, China, also!
Arms Oligarchs’ wealth, will overflow,
The West will lose its limited Mojo,
Europe will ban alcohol & tobacco…
Legalise Cocaine, & Heroin, taxed though,
Then replace football with Subutteo,
Europe will become the last Alamo,
The smaller free word, ran by the Mafioso!
Of course, this is all rubbish – Cheerio!
Another bite to eat.
Two slices of plain bread, with one…
Gorgeous early morning supper!
Oh, I only just remembered…
TTFN, All!
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Better colour this morning.
Early kitchen view.
Later kitchen view.
End car park mudslide.
Tomatoes with extra passata with basil. Misshaped bits of bacon and soy mini sausages.
Google went to pot, windows with moving and flashing numbers next to each line that I couldn’t understand anyway. I thought I’d photograph it in case someone can tell me. Froze eventually.
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Oh, What a Beautiful Morning 
…
Oh, all right then...
The urine was a little dark again.
I made a right mess of that one. Tried again…
This one was not a lot better.
Getting the diabetic socks off was not easy, and twice, I nearly took a tumble trying to get back upright after each sock was clawed off the legs. It had to happen, of course, as I tripped on the leg quilt that I had taken off. Somewhat painfully, although I didn’t hit the deck, managing to lean toward the 
. This displays my stupidity, as I was about to go to the wet room to have a stand-up wash and shave, thus washing off the Germolene in the process. Humph!
Yellowy, runny, stinky!
I’d got the larger Morrisons PPs on and set about removing them along with the dried blood from 
, after he’d been tugged at by the 
. The crusted haemoglobin broke, and red flowed down my leg onto the floor. I had to clean it up before starting shaving, in case I slipped on it
Got the floor cleaned and started to get the shaving done. Things went well today. Just one teeny-weeny nick on the ear hole. But not for long..
Well, that was the third 
out of the way.
arrived. She Germolened the right leg for me first off.
Then got the diabetic sock on for me, and we got the leg straps on between us. She did a good job of them. 
Then she issued the medications for me.
She’s spent a little longer with me than usual due to the extra fittings needed, and she had to rush off. Bless her. Did a good job all around.
I was on the blogging, and doing well, I thought.
called on me. I was in a bit of a state of losing the memory of what I’d been doing for so long, and I mentioned the FND symptoms, of which memory loss is included, and she listened to me, which was nice. She took the laundry down with her for me.
The pool had shrunken a little.
I made another mug of tea, and to my surprise, 
turned up. Where had the time gone? I was not concentrating at all.
It is not advisable to think that because things like 
& 
You will not like them unless you like the flavour of mushy-crushed cardboard. I imagine if anyone ate them, they would end up with tummy aches, as wot I did. And I only ate four of them before dishing the others in the waste bin, post haste.
Although Not Glorious This Time!
Then a closer Kodak Tim shot was taken.
A charm in this one?
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Nocturnal urine was a bit lighter.
Started by sorting the waste bags into one.
The plan was to get a shower & shave, so I left off the leg and ankle straps when Carer Richard arrived. When I asked him not to put them on, I asked if he could please ring my landline, as I’d not had any calls coming in and was worried that Liberty-Global may have gone off again. I gave him the wrong number and cheered him up. He verbally suggested that I was a nuisance – he was right. I found the correct number, and he rang again; the first one I gave him was for the Audio Clinic. Tsk! The landline rang. Thus, it made me feel much better that no one had rung me for four days. Humph! Sulk! Hehe!
I am off to the wet room for the only visit up till now of this very wet, rainy Thursday.
Hey-Ho!
I took a half-decent shot to the moon as I made a brew of Glengettie… 
Later, I spotted a chap from the flats on his disability scooter going up the gravel path to the park. He was driving along like Stirling Moss. The legal limit for these is 8 mph, but he was rattling away at well over that speed and uphill. If I get one, I’ll ask him where he got this one from.
.
.
Not good this one…
Not good, but better than the first?
Ah, well!
I didn’t, and not much wiser now that I’ve seen the rings on this explanation, what’s different about the yellow glove? Ah, I’ve gorrit now!
Bread at last!
The tomato sauce I ordered turned out to be something else. It warned on the label that it was an extra pungent chilli sauce. I’ll give that away!
The Danish loaf (substituted for Milk Roll bread) was eaten later with the evening meal.
I put some honeyed parsnips in the oven. And a can of curried beans, with tomato & basil sauce, and a suitable splashing of the Beetroot Borscht into the pan. 
Adding some gammon slices cut up.
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Inchy in his Sister Jane’s bought and gifted Grumpy Elf T-shirt & dressing gown.
Night Pouch.
Day Pouch attached by Carer Shaquille.
Morning rain.
End car park mudslide.
Computing. Rain continuing
Confused, lack of concentration.
Rain continues.
Ablutions.
Rain continues.
Computing going slowly.
Well…
Iceland delivery arrived.
Beans, crisps, bananas, beetroot & bleach.
Sausages, ham, more sausages, some 
Started to watch some old Del-Boy episodes.
Simple nosh tonight for the simpleton to eat.
It seems to me that every week, some animal is freed from a life sentence for murder and commits another killing! This scumball Bierton has now achieved three murders of elderly women, two while released from prison with the blessings of the overpaid, incompetent members of our HMG Parole Board, killers!
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It did look like that. Can you see it? Or is it just me and 
The contents were much lighter this morning.
Not that I’m likely to find myself in such a position again. I’m waffling, aren’t I? Sorry. I grabbed hold of
I was pretty pleased with my first close-up effort.
I tried again, a little more zoomed in.
erupted. Haha!
was enjoyed…but not for long.
started to fall all over the place! The earlier enjoyed smug modes were a distant memory now. So, I changed plans after a little ambivalent faffling. I decided to remove the PPs…
ever bled so much before overnight. NO! The blood had dried rock solid on my hair and skin! Naturally, the removal of the pants caused it to start bleeding afresh! More mess to clean up and another battle to stop it bleeding!
That was nice for a change.
Oh, dearie, me…
I was putting away the shaving tackle, I dropped a razor, & automatically grabbed it before it hit the deck.
So, the medicationalisationing started again. 
Thanks to the Germolene and heavy-duty plasters.
I returned to the wet room to check I’d not left the water running; all was safe.
The itching started again on the legs.
I asked him if he would put some of the cream for the Acne on my legs. He did so, and then he got the diabetic socks and legging straps.
Afternoon Shot.
Evening Shot.
Night shot to the right
Night shot ahead.
removed.
The papule lesions were creamed by Chris.
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TEA: Standard. Turkey slice, cheese slice, pork sausage roll, boiled egg, coleslaw, tossed salad, baguette and fruit cake. Halal: Halal turkey slice, cheese slice, halal sausage roll, boiled egg, coleslaw, tossed salad, baguette and fruit cake. Vegan and vegetarian: Samosa and bhaji, vegan cheese, vegan sausage roll, hummus, carrot and celery, nut and bean tossed salad and vegan flapjack.
Well, this cheered me up a smidgeon! It was photo’d this morning in Sherwood, too!
04:15hrs: I stirred back into a poor semblance of a mock imitation life. Again, the first ailment to bother me was from 
. She was giving me some hassle when I first tried to move the knee to get into a position to photograph the overnight catheter pouch. I took the picture and then tackled the task of removing my rhinoceros-like body from the clutches of the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid 
Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner. Which brought to mind the promised delivery of the proper safety rail not 
maturing
Washed and cleaned up, then went to the kitchen and saw the moon was in view. So, I fetched from the front room and tried to get a close-up shot of the planet. 
did to you?
out decently, I thought! The nearby unseen clouds in the other pictures gave it a certain ambience… is that the right word?
I tried a wider shot, which came out with more colour. There is obviously a reason for this. But I’ve no idea what it was. Hehehe!
Onto the computer. A lot of work is needed, with me being far behind everything. I need to make templates (A long, long job), graphics, the ode, and get a new cartoon made… but; 
they’d been decorated for Christmas with rich red spots. Which was (blood, Hahaha!). Things did not go well… I’d not put the cap back on the Daktacort ointment properly, and it had hardened so much that it could 
not be used. So, stopping the flow was a difficult job. I had to use the only thing I could try, the Germolene cream. Which is not a blood-
stopper but is a good pain-easer. Half a roll of toilet paper and ten minutes later, the bleeding seemed to be easing off. So I put some kitchen towelling inside the PP’s. I must remember to check it later in case it leaks again. It was nice that I’d rolled some towelling in there; it made it look bigger. Sad, innit?
Back to the computer, and ‘Oh, Susan chimed out from the door chime. had arrived. I asked him not to put on the diabetic socks, or 
, as I was hoping to get a shower and shave later on. Because of many reasons, this did not happen! Richard sorted the medications; extra Paracetamol and Peptac were given. I didn’t wish him a Happy Christmas cause I knew he was working over the holidays, but I hoped he’d get some sleep in. Nice chap, even if he does tell me off. Hehe!
Concentrated on getting the first job done. Creating the templates for a few future blogs.
got up to. But the lad understood, I think. He even took a photo of me wearing Sister Janes ‘Christmas Elf’ tea shirt she bought me a few years ago. Bless him.
I offered treats and nibbles to the lad, and he took another photo, which came out brilliantly! I think you’ll follow me here, I hope. With me having 
Time for Food!
pickled salad. (Really sharp and flavourful) A Taste Rating of 8.4/10 was granted to this nosh. Washed the pots, and tried to take some shots of the evening view on offer…
was just starting to kick-off as I took the pictures. Or, something like that; Does that sound okay for an excuse? Hahaha! Love to know what it was I did wrong, though.
I checked the taps, (faucets); the oven-cooker was off, and plonked down in the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. To see if anything was worth a viewing session on the TV. 
, before 
putting on the 
, the lad looked drained and tired. 
! Tonight it was the turn of 
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A deeper twinge to it today.
A mixed bag from the bog evacuations.
I made a hash of my first-morning view shot.
So I waited until 
All working again!
Maryham issued the medications.
Warfarin INR Anticoagulation Nurse arrived.
Enoxaparin-filled hypos, as these I had were out of date.
Seconds later, the blood was flowing from the puncture wound, had soaked the cotton wool padding and was trickling down my arm. 
I sprayed the big quilt that Carer Israel had folded for me last night and was left on the bed. Which, as soon as the safety rail is fitted, I can use.
Oh, I nearly missed this one off the blog. Earlier, 
Back on the computer.
And continued…
And continued…
Yet the mudslide did not grow any bigger?
Mystery Photo?
.
Caramelised soy mini-sausages, tomatoes, and boiled potatoes, with some sauce. Milk Roll bread, and a pot of orange flavoured jelly for afters. 
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Rain and howling wind when 
: I struggled to get the diabetic socks off of my legs. Causing a mini 
, which cost me a lot of time and pain cleaning up, before I trod it all over the floor. Which didn’t work cause I trod it all over the floor and then the hallway as I fetched the vacuum! 
. Which barely lasted for about three seconds! Great! I’m anticipating some follow-up sessions, though.
The Red Eye was hardly noticeable! But as the carer mentioned later, it is above the eye that he can see it?
Then…
.
Then got onto the computer to try to get some blogging done while I had the time.
was bleeding, and I had some red skin on the leg near the top of one of the 
The driver was the pleasant lady who took me to the hospital. Lovely gal. She had two other passengers on the bus, I tried talking to them in greeting, but the two were not responsive, poor things, still I tried to give them the odd nod and smile en route. I was dropped off first at the Audio Clinic. I got a little confused when I got out, but the lady made a joke of it, she is sweet. I asked if she would be picking me up to go back, and she said no. So I insisted she take a drinkie and nibbles from the 
. Why she asked me. I said ’cause it’s Christmas, and I’ll sulk if you don’t take some. She laughed and obliged me.
First photo when I got in.
Later…
Drizzling starting.
The pouch just emptied.
Excellent colour!
Drizzling still…
As it was an hour later…
Persisting…
Aha, stopping at last.
returned the laundry for me.
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terminology used, but I think you’ll get the idea. And it worked!
better this morning.
The first twist of the new bottle of soda water, and the contents were sprayed out, some hitting the ceiling, most of it landing on the chair and quilt, not to mention soaking my dressing gown and legs! 
it was the Asda order arriving. 
chimed from the door buzzer, and the driver put the things into carriers for me, bless him. No rushing, he patiently waited while I took a bag at a 
time to the kitchen and returned to the door for more. 
Basic fodder, potatoes and bread. I’d bought too much bread; there was no room in the freezer for it all. Tsk! 
But, I gave some away.
A bit of room left in the fridge, though. Not to fret, tons of canned soups, beans etcetera in the cupboards to have with some of the mass of bread in stock. Two jars of Polish Pork Knuckle in the fridge too. The tomatoes were, unfortunately, Spanish ones. They taste terrible, this time of year. I was hoping 
they’d send Dutch, but, no luck. A load of treats & nibbles are now available for the Christmas and New Year carers & nurses. Bless ’em all!
mobile and got the unknown number message. Then he rang his own phone on my landline, and my new but no one told me I had a new number, for the landline, number came up on his mobile. I think! Good old Richard! 
arrived ♥, I was so glad to see her. She really helped me out today, in many a way, I say! 
Sorted out paperwork that needed shredding and did it for me. Showed me how to record a programme on the new TV. I think I’ve got it now. She set up the TV to record ‘Heartbeat’ for me. ♥
After the gal had departed, I was always sad. Then, I sent an email to those who may want to phone me with the new number. Only Jenny rang me. But it was to tell me she’s tried three times to get through on the new number, and couldn’t! This was depressing news for me. She rang off and tried again, and got through? My first phone call on the new landline. Hurrah! But, no one else had got through. I rang Sister Jane, but she couldn’t. She’ll try again later in the day. I 
earlier and confirmed the lift for the morning to see and return from my visit to see the psychotherapist… Which still amazes me. I mentioned to the lady in the reception at the Audio Clinic, that I could no longer change the tubing on my hearing aids, due to my Peripheral Neuropathy. Explaining that this means my neurotransmitters are dying, and I cannot sense touching things or not; the brain is not getting the messages, or getting the wrong ones. And she booked me an appointment to see the Dementia Psychotherapist, tomorrow. 
After hours of blogging and mistake-making, I stood up to get to the kitchenette in search of a nibble… The day pouch almost fell to my ankles; it was that full. But, I rescued the situation in my usual calm, efficient manner. Well, it didn’t burst anyway!
Time to get a meal sorted out. 
Bacon bits, tomatoes, passata, liquid sea salt, Milk Roll bread and a banana. Very Nice! Flavour Rating: 8.3/10. After washing the things up, I destroyed three bags of cheesy curls. Hehe!
The missing flag fooled me. Tsk!