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++ THE ANATOMY OF INSANITY ++
So many folk bear insanity, unknowingly…
Some will turn a blind eye, denyingly,
Recognising insanity shows not negativity…
Welcoming it shows a certain peculiarity,
It’s known as bonkersness, characteristically,
It can test your brain’s battery and vulnerability,
Robbing you of your perceptivity & sensibility,
First, it tries your short-term memory…
Long-term stuff, will have some accessibility…,
Naturally, this is only initially,
But it gets worse when you get near 90,
I’ll not mention the body’s lack of controllability,
Some folks can get an amygdalotomy…
But only royalty, politicians & the Oligarchy,
But it costs way too much for the likes of you & me,
Don’t call it madness, but instead, cerebropathy,
It starts for most affected people, grimly…
Your loss of memory will come under self-scrutiny,
“I forgot I’d made that cup of tea!”
“Where was I going? Ooops, I was going for a pee.”
“Damn it, left the hot tap running, silly me!”
“Didn’t get to the bog on time – diarrhoea, messy!”
“Missing words off, can’t spell, missing an apostrophe!”
“Thank heavens I paid a fortune for Gammarly!”
“Forgetting where you were going in the hallway!”
“Missing appointments, with neurololgy…”
“The dentist, optician, and Doctor Finlay”
“The Bank, Phlebotomy & Cardiology!”
“Burnt my dinner, no food for Inchie!”
“Why am I in the lift?” You ask bemusedly,”
“Fridge freezer door left open, you curse angrily!”
“Toenail cutting? £35 quid it costs me”,
“Huh, cartilage bother, arthritis, & acne!”
“Cathetered, cancer & Peripheral Neuropathy”,
“Seizures, tumbles, dead hearing aid battery”.
05:00hrs: I shot awake and checked out how I was mentally. Not bad, so no seizures suffered this morning. I grudgingly, unwillingly, hesitantly and cautiously moved the legs off of the bed. Great, Cartilage Chloe & Carol were no bother. Dizzy Dennis, Lost-Balance-Belinda, Jerking-Neck-Nigel, and Reflux Roger, along with many others, were being kind to me this Friday morning. But… Anne Gyna and Toothache Tiffany were a different kettle of fish. Both continued to bother me intermittently throughout the day.
Still, you can’t expect to win them all, can yer? I took Codeine before even taking off the night catheter pouch, such was the pain from Tiffany’s toothache.
The pouch is removed and left for the Carer to assess the grading colour upon arrival. Not much urine was passed last night.
I put the Codeine box back on the crowded Carers’ desk, and saw how dark it was outside. I meandered to the 
kitchen to take a snap of the view.
Not a good effort, then again, I’ve been making lots of them lately.
A sudden movement and a gurgling from the innards sent me, with some haste, (I nearly dropped the walking stick), to the wet room and the 
. Just as well I didn’t delay getting there. Within seconds of my bottom settling on the plastic seat of the raised toilet… Spurt, splutter, splatter… all over and done in seconds!
I got the computer on, and after a jumpy start-up, I began updating yesterday’s blog.
My typing skills had gone to pot, or rather, the neurotransmitters were not getting the message to the brain when I pressed a key. This lasted for about half an hour. I was on the verge of giving up until things cleared, then the problem dissipated.
Carer Ejaz arrived. I think he said this is his last visit until next week. Sad that!
He soon had the prescription medications issued, disinfectanted the leg wounds, and put the diabetic sock on for me. Not here long today, I think he has got an extra job on, which he may be doing all over the weekend. Ejaz got all his tasks done!
I pressed on with updating the Thursday blog, despite the neurotransmitters failing and many mistakes being made. I got it finished and posted it off.
After a while, I meandered onto the balcony for a breather and took a snap of the end car park through the glass on the terrace.
I came back inside and updated the thingamibob calendar clock, then made a brew of Co-op 99 Tea.
Carer Ahmed, Peptac.
Got things ready for the big wash, teggies, shower & shave, followed by medicationings for various parts of my body. Not a pretty sight!
Afternoon clouds. In
beautiful formations.
As I was taking the following photograph of the sky a few 
minutes later, it was as if my energy batteries had all suddenly died on me. I did not return to the computer again. I instantly felt so all-in and drained.
I closed down the computer. (In the morning, realising that I’d not saved the CorelDraw or WordPress to file – Humph!), I had no choice other than to just sit down and sleep. That was the plan anyway. But falling asleep, I’d have thought, would be automatic, in the state I was. But No!
Well, falling asleep was easy, but staying asleep, impossible at that time.
It was terribly frustrating, that when I woke, each time I woke up, I felt a little like I do after having a seizure, but I don’t think I had any.
Carer Nimra woke me up upon her arrival and asked me to get up to see how I felt. So, I did.
Cartilage Carole was all over the place as I meandered into the balcony…
I scuffed my left leg against the wheelchair leg rest, swearing a smidge as I bruised the leg on 
.
Looking at the photo, which Carer Nimra took, there appeared to be three minor bruises. She said it matched the layout of the metal leg supports that I had clouted it against.
Sorry that I got up now. Hehehe! Nimra was tired after her long day. I bade her good luck and wished her well as she departed after giving me the medications and ointmentated my legs & knees.
I sat down again, in search of sleep. But after the faux pas with the leg, I just couldn’t nod off.
So, I put the TV on to see if the adverts would help me in my desperate search for sleep. They didn’t!
I realised I had time to make a meal before the last Carer calls and eat it. I pondered making an easy meal. I decided a tinned 
dinner cooked in the microwave would be the best idea. I put a can of vegetable stew and an Irish stew in a microwave bowl, and added half a bottle of Kung-Po sauce, some Bovril and chopped up some water-chestnuts and added them into the microwaveable dish of delight.
Belatedly adding a drop of extra-mild peri-
peri sauce with lemon juice. Danish wholemeal bread to be dunked! A great mix of sweet & sour flavours!
Delightfully tasty meal, that I really enjoyed! While searching for the Gung Po 
photo, I stumbled upon a picture I took many years ago in Skegness. This took me back, evoking both good and bad memories.
I washed the pots, or rather, I left them soaking in the bowl in the sink. And climbed into the bed, but for some reason could not get comfortable, and gave up, got out and into the I settled into the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner to watch an episode of my favourite recorded, ‘Heartbeat’, on the TV.
I drifted of within seconds, I even felt the joy of it while sleeping… but, 🎺the “Oh, Suzana tune burst forth to wake me up from the intercom.”
Carer Mizra arrived. As I got up to press the admit button in the hallway, Calamity! 
!
Gave way, and I ended up back in the aged, grotty-looking, c1966-made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner.
“Oh, Suzana” tune had stopped, and by the time I got myself up. Mizra was ringing the buzzer and came into the room. Mizra took off the diabetic socks for me and issued a painkiller and some Peptac.
I collapsed back into the £300, second-hand, musty, Haemorrhoid Harold Testing, cringingly beige, crumb-covered, not-working, rickety recliner, again in a desperate search of Sweet Morpheous.
After an hour or so, I drifted off and started dreaming again. It wasn’t a nice one, but details are escaping me as I write this. I was once again woken up, this time by the telephone ringing.
An inebriated-sounding voice demanded to speak with Allison. I pointed out that there is no Allison here, telling him that he had got the wrong number. He started to talk, telling me not to *muck* about and put Allison on! I rang off.
My mind was all over the place now.
I decided a mug of tea might help, and toddled off to the kitchenette to make a brew. Taking this snap of the evening view.
Back in the £300, used, c1968, dirty-beige-coloured, not-working, creaky recliner.
Sleep-Seeking!
After an hour or so, and on the verge of going potty, I had to rise for the umpteenth time, to utilise the 
yet again!
Thankfully, the evacuation was over in seconds. Unfortunately, the cleaning took so long that I’ve forgotten what day & time it was. Not that I was bothered either way – after 
called on me, and from then on, nothing was a bother or a hassle. Even when I got back to the c1968, non-operational, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, germ-breeding, Harold Haemorrhoid-Testing, sickenly beige-coloured recliner. The powers of my hero are incalculable. Nothing had changed; I was still physically shattered, tired, weary and still struggled desperately to get some sleep.
Did I care after Horis arrived? Nope!
But I wished he had called on me earlier!
A PRECIOUS HORIS 10%
Who was more than a blessing in disguise. He helped me not worry about the Porcelain Throne pain. There was plenty of that in this morning’s lengthy battle to force things into action from the rear-end. Each of the four depth-charge-shaped clumps that evacuated took it in turn to escape.
mber two. Another marathon job, but without the assistance of 
Handsome, male-model-like Carer Ejaz arrived. Did a good job changing the catheter bag, issuing medications, and applying cream to the legs and feet. Graded the nighttime catheter pouches wee-wee as a 4½ on the NHS Richter scale. 
I should have put this photo on the right in yesterday’s blog. I think that I didn’t. It is of a J Sainsbury pack of Triple Cook Chips, Taste the 
Difference 400g £3.25. It looks like a Special Offer of some free diseased chips has been added to the tray again.
My mind was wandering a little, but, of course, that’s perfectly normal for me.
Started to update the Wednesday blog. But…
distant, certainly nowhere near me now
To the right.
To the left.
Straight ahead. Seemed to change colour?
Then a shot of the end of the car park.
I tried an all-day breakfast this time.
Veg Korma, Cumberland Pie.
I just wish they were larger portions. Hehe!
Baked potatoes with no-butter butter & a pinch of salt. Five different types of tomato. Fish sticks, and a red spring onion sliced up.
A pareidolia’s delight with these clouds.
🤎 
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MEMORABLE EVENTS FOR THIS DATE
The driver put the things in Iceland carriers for me.
Selection of favourites.
A few more…
I now have a good stock of spring water and soda waters. These keep the bladder working.
Two minutes later, the Amazon-supplied self-propelling wheelchair arrived. I struggled to get it into the hallway, but managed to put the Cream and bags on top of the wheelchair box.
Not much room.
Showing the damage to the wheelchair box on arrival. Nimra counted a total of 22 holes, tears and/or crushed corners. 
Carer Ejaz called. He took down the laundry, returned, and then attempted to erect the wheelchair.
with it, and we ran out of time. In between, Ejaz went down to move the washing to the dryer, then returned and had another go at getting the leg pad and brakes fitted. He managed to get one on. 
What a puddling day. Still, I’ve had worse!
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If you can get FND, PN, & many a seizure,
, I’ve missed him lately, but
05:30hrs: The nocturnal Urine was a 5 on the NHS scale. I was a little bit out of it when I got up, a smidge off-balance and confused. All signs of a nighttime seizure, but I’m guesstimating, of course. 
I settled into the disabled raised plastic seat and retrieved the crossword book. Given that all the signs suggested it would take time and effort to get the movement started. And it did!
Onto the computer, no wash, no shave, no medicationings. As I was about to start the story, I remembered that Matron would call on me from Monday to Thursday, and the Social lady would visit sometime this week. So, I updated some things that I needed help with for both ladies, just in case they came today. (They didn’t).
I drank the Detox, made a proper mug of extra-strong Typhoo tea, and started on the story. Made a graphic to use as a header 
for the blog page (Left). I thought it best not to inform anyone of what I was doing when I conceived the idea for the tale. Haha! 
going to last long, and I seemed to appreciate the freedom from worry all the more! If only I could summon him whenever I needed him.
Back to the plot.
The thick clouds, now that the rain had stopped, looked so fresh and almost pretty to me. Then so do many traits in nature.
A shot of the local dwellings from the balcony, this proved painful for me. I had to lean out of the window to get the angle needed, and the catheter tube caught against the wheelchair and tugged at Little Inchie and his fungal 
lesion. 
I’d like to take the opportunity to tell you how excellent these chip shop chips taste. If I ever get the time, I should be having some tonight. Well, it’ll be morning by then. Lovely!
Rain..
Rain…
Oh, it stopped!
Mudslide from the rain. Red car again.
Ah, a decent night shot with plenty of brown in there.
Just caught a bit of the sun on its way down.
Ejaz, on his last call, took this one. Kodak Tim 2.
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laugh at myself when I reached down to retrieve the nocturnal catheter bag for emptying – it showed I was still on edge from yesterday’s mishaps. I used my left hand to hold the shoulder in case she had loosened the joint with her overnight rattling and shudderings. Haha! Now, a laugh upon waking may be a sign that things will go better today. Mind you, look what happened to Hitler when he attacked Russia.
First kitchenette shot
Evacuation Conrad Constipation Controlled.
Some new blood-filled swelling was spotted.
Morning snap
Afternoon…
cloud…
photos.
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Where do I leave my words of perspicuity?
What a day! The agony started as soon as I woke up. I was in fact enjoying the peace of being in a seizure, unaware of that, of course, it seems the only way to get any sleep and stay in it nowadays, but the recovering after effects were pretty harmful, as per usual. The door chime rang, stirring me cruelly back to reality. But my confusion and balance were all over the place. Getting out of bed took that long; the chime stopped. I continued the battle to get on my feet and carried the nocturnal bag with me to save time, to reach the panel when they called back, and to unlock the door.
the Wooden Walking Stick. Off to the kitchen to steep a Detox bag in water. I visited the Porcelain Throne. Feeling more comfortable and with it as time passed. A 100% turnaround in the evacuation. Hard work, painful and bloody session. Yet a nice change from the last eight sloppy, wet, spattery Trotsky Terence cleaning up-after trips.
Later, I found this shot of the trees & bushes on the front of the flat’s walkway and carpark. I can’t recall when, or even if, I took it.
WALLAH! And I then had a new SD reader that worked
! 
Then… 
.
and 967 KB from the drive. This looks good, I thought.
That went well… I waited, and waited for the windows to update. Not sure if I fell asleep or not. What day is it? What was I doing?
now, after suffering enough problems, Whoopsiedangleplops and frustrations to last me over the last few days for the rest of my life. Well, maybe. I’m still far behind with blogging than I’ve ever been. I frustratedly gave up on the computer and got my overdue Ablutions done.
The seat marks under my arm had worsened significantly overnight. I’ll ask the Carer to use the barrier cream and remind them to remove all traces of the old cream, then clean the area with baby wipes. This is only if I remember to ask whoever comes. As ‘Forgetters go!’, I think I deserve an award for my sheer dogged persistence, regularity, & stupidity.
hile shaving, getting only one cut! It did bleed a bit, mind you. 
I foolishly decided to get a short-sleeved black kagoule hand-washed and rinsed, then hung it up in the wet room to dry on the shower curtain rail. As I turned to leave the room… I shoulder-charged the door edge. Which set 
off on one of her vicious attempts to dislodge the ball from the socket! Not that this actually surprised or upset me, it was just another cog, pain and annoyance on my way to total insanity. I’m not ready for considering suicide yet, cause I still have dreams of someone assassinating Starmer; I’d hate to miss that, and it would give a little lift, and laugh. I’ve paid for my funeral. I told the Carer where the details are. Not that I’m in any rush. Oh no, but if things carry on as they are… well!
I’m assuming that I had a seizure. I came back and was mopping the kitchen floor with the speed mop. The storage trolley was out of position, I’d moved food from a cupboard onto the floor near the radiator, and opened both windows. I’d been busy during my ictus? No one has explained to me how this can be so. Impossible to happen, surely?
I keep getting myself off track tonight. But the need of food arose. I looked in the fridge to see what was available for dining on. The photo above reveals two outdated food items that I had to discard. The pastie on the right was use-by 19th Aug. Whatever it was inside that had gone mouldy and showing through the pastry and bag was mysterious enough. But then, why did I buy them in the first place? My tiredness returned.
I decided, after seeing what was not available to eat, to opt for frozen chip shop chips, tomatoes, and two defrosted cheesy-topped no-butter buttered bread rolls, along with some cheap £1-a-packet ham slices, which were well within their use-by date, 8th September. Worryingly, the highest ingredient listed was water.
There’s a chance of a miracle having taken place here. I cannot remember seeing the moon while I was in bed. Sometimes I see the hue coming through the tatty, thin curtains. I’ve been known to scramble out of bed to take a shot of it. I’m sure I didn’t tonight… well, as sure of anything I can ever be sure of. But that’s not saying much, is it? This snap was so beautiful, I’d have thought I’d remember taking it.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
MISSING HORIS!
🤎
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End car park.
Towards Mansfield Road
Towards the park
Left, front car park & flat balconies
I noticed I’d not changed the date on the clock.
Got a mug of proper tea, and the peas to nibble. Seeing that I had still not changed the date on the clock. So, I did!
Just look at the amount of urine that came out. The bag is a 200ml one, but the jug indicates it is 400ml. No wonder it felt down.
The four-whelled walker.
The new wheelchair, unused to date. Fitted a cushion on it. Searched around with the aid of the impractical, worthless manual, which had such tiny printing that it was really of no value.
Then had an in-depth, almost pointless perusal of the mwinenace/instruction manual. I think it might have been for the wrong model. As you can see in the photo I took, this is for a self-propelled model with large wheels.
This model has tiny wheels.
Look at the time already!
A fantastic site, no, sight!
When I got back in the front room, I was pretty ashamed of the mess in there.
Despite my morseness, I still took these snaps of the view from the kitchen window. Not even knowing if I can use them or not. Proof that I need help!
The meal came out well.
Still, it’s worth it, a bit of nature.
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I believe the Labour Party were blindsided,
Once I dismounted from the bed, I started a few hours of unexpected industriousness. I whipped off the nocturnal catheter bag, leaving it on the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966 moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, dirty, blood-stains-covered, much dilapidated, crumb-containing from early evening nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, Harold Haemorrhoid annoying, not working recliner. For The Carer to colour-grade for me. 
made the odd, but short, early morning visit!
I put the kettle on to make my morning mug of Detox tea, and wobbled off to the wet room, nearly falling over my own walking stick as I entered the room. Without the usual self-lambasting and calling myself names. I believe I did not swear either. Yes! The evacuated product was a deep red, slushy substance. I think it may have been through me eating some vegetable pickle and a lot of beetroot yesterday.
I think I did well with the shaving and the scrubbing up this morning. Fair enough, there were three shaving cuts, but they were no bother. The Brut aftershave soon stemmed the bleeding. Obviously, 
but this new toothpaste does seem to be less painful to use overall. Olive oiled the earholes, eyedrops put in the eyes… well, some of it, about 50% of it ran down my cheek and into my mouth, to join the blood and Duraphat in there. Haha!
before applying the 
barrier cream, and/or when trying to apply the hydrochloride cream to Little Inchies’ fungal lesion. 
All done, struggled a tad with getting the PPs (protection pants) on. Dressing gown on, and I went back to the front room. Taking this shot from the balcony of the end car park. The dog walker’s two dogs couldn’t resist having a pee on the wheels of the little red car parked on the chevrons. (Police dogs? Haha!)
CorelDraw, Memory problems, and I’ve just found out that the instruction/maintenance booklet for the wheelchair is for another model with self-propelling large wheels. 
Late night
The urban night
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I read this with a certain ambivalence,
Took a snap from the kitchenette window of the doom-looking sky. I found the cloud variations appealing. Great!
The JS food order arrived…
Seeks that I must have ordered a Chinese chicken and red rice ready microwave meal. Or did I?
11:00hrs: I made a belated mug of Detox tea. Steep in boiling water for 30 minutes. Two hours later…
Bit of fun here. When the sun came out, I took this shot from the computer chair. Later, when I got it from the SD card, I rotated it the wrong way, and this was photo A. The fun to me was that I didn’t realise until I came to put it in. Looking at them, both could have the one. Hehe!
A Social Lady called on the Landline. I couldn’t hear everything she was saying, and I explained the problem with the hearing aids getting repaired.
Oh, dearie me. More problems to make me even further behind than ever!
Ten minutes later…
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plodded into the kitchen and got the Detox bag in a mug, awaiting the water in the kettle to boil. Then I steeped the bag. This type needed a 30-minute steep. So, I took the chance and visited the Porcelain Throne. Another Trotsky Terence torrent followed. Messily!
Three red cars this morning.
Sky shot to the north.
Then to the South East. I took them within a minute of each other, and I could see how the colouring had changed so quickly.
Carer Ejaz arrived. Did a good job for me. Medications. He antispeticated the eankles for me, then fitted my diabetic socks. A quick body check and some barrier creaming. And the lad was ready to go, but not before I took a photo of him for this blog. He posed like a 
professional model! Handsome bute! Oh, and Ejaz took a snap of the much better-looking healing ankles.
Within half an hour of turning on the computer, an immediate problem with CorelDraw arose, followed by the arrival of 
the Iceland order. The driver took the bags through to the kitchenette for me. Two items for the freezer. Chip Shop Chips 
and a ready meal. Can you guess what the frozen meal was by looking at this snap? Some food for 
the fridge.
in.
Frozen meal, beef in black sauce, with added Lung Po and Mixed Vegetable pickle, and Marmite stirred in before cooking. Then some Chip Shop Chips were done in the oven and added. 
The sun had just vanished from the horizon.