Back Pain Brenda

Inchie: Wednesday 8th April 2026

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06:40hrs: I stirred reluctantly, as more visuous winds were already emanating from my rear quarters. Convincing me that I was going to have another chronic Constipation-Conrad struggle to free a gigantic torpedo, just like yesterday.
I was wrong! I got the Catheter night pouch removed ASAP, grabbed Willy the Wooden Walking Stick, and off to the wetroom. What A Mess!
Being so far behind with the Blog again, I didn’t collate any bins, didn’t make a brew of tea, didn’t wash the pots from last night, or even make the bed! I was fully dedicated. Committed to getting on with the blogging work.

Things did not go to plan… How Surprising!
Booted up the computer. 15sec.
Got Google to open. 12mins.
Opened CorelDraw….. 1hr 50mins. Yes, I’m not joking! After about ten minutes of working, I opened the import tab. Nothing happened. The mouse commands went unresponsive… Then, to add more mayhem, I tried to press the CorelDraw close button and instantly got a blank screen!
Mavellous… great! Sarcasm here.
A pandemonium of the sickening, depressing morning was not going well at all.
I assumed that CorelDraw had shut down because the working light was off, so I pressed the icon button to try to restart it. I t started and brought up the bare workdesk. After about an hour of waiting for it to start, another opening started, then the first working one showed up on the banner. Yes, I admit it, I swore and cried at the same time.
Good heavens, I’ve got three CorelDraws trying to open at the same time on a computer with so little memory that just one struggles. I decided my only option was to turn it off at the plug again! Then I thought no, I tried resetting when the desktop suddenly appeared as I was about to remove the plug… I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I took a chance to load via the bottom bar and see what happened – I was so deeply into this problem, and the intercom chimed out… to let the Carer in, I thought I’d pressed cancel, and went to let Carer Rashid in. Getting back to the computer, I was totally lost as to what I’d done and not done, done wrong, or what to do to get CorelDraw back working. The icons have disappeared from the screen, and all I could do was kill it at the plug. Carer Rashid did not seem bothered. He gave me my medications, I asked for Porpaining my shoulder, and he got on his mobile, toyed with the hoover, and his time was up.

I left the computer to rest for an hour or so, before warily trying to start it again. During this period, the much-belated arrival of you know who fell. And I remembered that Carer Mizra will be calling this afternoon, to help me with the showering; a smidge embarrassing. But a necessity nowadays.
A mug of tea, and I got a Kaugoule and a dressing gown on the bed, ready to save time later. Amazingly, I think I expected the computer of die and did not lose patience or try restarting it too soon.
But then Carer Rashid was back for the midday call. And I’d still not started on the Blog at all. Rahid seemed in a more helpful mood, 
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AFTERNOON: Things take a turn for the better!
I got the computer to open, with the usual time-costly refusals and delays from Google, and… wait for it… Honestly, CorelDraw opened! But it was so slow and jittery. Still, I finally made a start on the graphics, & rare photos I’d taken up to now. At last, I was getting on with the job.
I made a brew for a break and checked the emails and texts. Jenny had emailed me, and I got carried away and waffled a little in my reply.
Sorry, Jenny, my Angel. 🎀
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Carer Mizra arrived. I felt a breath of fresh air enter the room. Mizra & Ejaz often give me this feeling. Their ability to be more communicative than others is always welcome.
Yet again, I forgot to ask Mizra for a list of the new call times and days. Got an excuse this time, today was a busy one. Mirza really got stuck in with the plan we made. I’d remembered to get a kagoule and dressing gown ready for after the assisted showering session. Mizra cleared the thing out of the wet room to make space and, when I asked him to, shifted the carpets into the hallway without any problem, explaining that they get wet during showers because of can’t fully control the showerhead. He sorted some socks out that I’d forgotten to do, as I had a quick shave & teeth cleaning. Mizra moved the shower curtain to a better angle. Which was all helpful, and he realised that with the shoulder, back, Peripheral shakes, the possibility of a seizure, and Lost-Balance-Belinda, he made sure he did not leave me alone in the shower. I noticed and appreciated it so much. He washed the areas I have difficulty reaching. Never complaining, always asking how I felt. This was the best thing to happen to me for months. Embarrassing, of course, an old fart like me now needing help to shower. He helped me dry off the wetter areas, and as I assembled the medications needed for the body check that followed, Mizra cleaned up the wetroom and brought the bath mats back in from the hallway. He changed the Catheter Contraption’s lower sections, then helped me into the PPs, after the new Catheter was completed. Then got my slippers put on. We started trying to get help with the showering many months back, last year it was. Thanks to support from my Angel, Jenny, and financial checks, I’ll now have extra time on some calls to get this done without Jenny. Mizra, and Ejaz, I’m sure I could cope very well at all. XXX
Mizra explained he will take me shopping next Saturday, and I could get some cash from The Co-op, Ozrans, or the new food store, I can’t recall the name of, that begins with H, I think. Me being me, naturally, I expect the toenail cutter and window cleaner to call before I get the dosh. Hehe!
He will also check my stack of unopened letters that has been building up for about three months.
I thanked him muchly as he departed.
Somehow, apart from Jenny’s help, of course, without which no extra help would have arrived. 🤎 I felt a surge of satisfaction and felt semi-contentment for the first time in years.

Ah, yes, I just remembered, the store in Sherwood with the cash machine is called Herons! Jenny tells me the Post Office one is currently not available.

returned, along with a slightly, no, much more worried-about-things attitude.

With a rekindled enthusiasm, I got the potatoes out of the slow-cooker. Doesn’t it look weather-beaten? Hehe!
I cut some thick slices and put some of the Leicester cheese on them, ready to use. I covered them with foil, and when the oven heats up, I’ll cover the spuds with the cheese.
I’ve got green tomatoes to slice and have with them, and I can open the jar of Salatka green tomato salad. With shredded carrots, red peppers, and onions, in vinegar.
I’ve also got pickled mushrooms to add.
I’m beginning to feel hungry now.

Late-afternoon views taken through the open kitchenette window.
Immediately after taking this, and thinking I’ll check if the oven was hot enough to put the sliced spuds and cheese into it… that much I can recall. My next recollection was the upsurge of acidic reflux coming into my throat, nasal passages, and mouth. And, I was sitting at the computer? Another of the mysteries from Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Depressing Darius, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhea Leslie, Premordid Cognitive Impairment Inchie, Fractured-Knee-Frank, the damned seizures, or the Fata Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. My faith, sanity, and logicality were already on the wane. Not to mention the deteriorating state of me physically and mentally.
Just thought I’d mention it, like.

As quickly as I could, I went back to the kitchen to check the condition of the oven, fearing I might have left it on high. Carer Mizra arrived as I was checking it. All was okay, and he helped me add the cheese topping and told me not to forget about it, check it every ten minutes. Which I did. Thanked Mizra.

Got the meal served up; my overall rating was a 7/10. This is due to the potatoes being tasteless. The cheese was alright, the fresh green tomato delicious, the pickled veg fantastic. The Polish sausage and pickled mushrooms were both the highlights of the nosh.
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Inchie: Tuesday, 7th April 2026

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06:30hrs: I stirred into a weak replication of life.
The left ribs were still giving me far too much bother when I bent, stretched, and, as for sneezing or coughing, 50% worse. But I don’t like to complain. Luckily for me, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirely was much calmer. And Back-Pain-Brenda was almost absent, to start with. She came on at the usual time, which was around 17:00hrs.

Took the night pouch off the day Catheter bag; left it for Carer Rashid to suss, check, and colour-grade on the Excel BP-Blood graphic. Then the other checks were started in full. Both Blood Oxygen and Pulse were slightly elevated. But the BP was bonkersly high. Off to the kitchen to check if I’d left anything on or running that shouldn’t be. All clear, after yesterday’s cock-up, leaving the oven on for 12 hours, and I treated myself.
I took this snap as I was leaving the kitchenette to consolidate the waste bins.
The need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. So, off to the wet room.
Nothing evacuated. Although that’s not strictly speaking true.
Where all the wind came from, I do not know. I wouldn’t be overly surprised if one of my neighbours complains later on. I may ask the Nottingham City Council to check the flat’s foundations. Hehehe! 

Carer Rashid arrived. As I went into the room he was in,  he moved to another, with his mobile in hand. It was funny at the time. I asked him, I think, on his second visit, to help me wash my feet and change my socks, which the lad did. He checked my legs and barrier-creamed the scars. He Porpain gelled Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirely, no need for any attention on being-kind Back-Pain-Brenda. 

Getting Google to start so I could get on blogging took over ten minutes of going through all the opening options again. A different one each time works. Getting CoewlDraw to open took me even longer. It got as far as this picture I took of the apparently frozen screen. The busy icon was working, but the light on the external hard drive had stopped. An hour passed as I kept nipping into the kitchen to put a giant potato in the oven. These usually take 45 minutes on 200. I set the heat to 120, as I was in no rush. Half an hour later, I nipped back to check on CorelDraw’s progress. Zilch!
Well, if it won’t load, I can’t shut it down without powering it off, which may gun the works up,
AS I finally decided I’d have to unplug, CorelDraw started to load. My life is mind-blowingly overly complicated. Frustrating, depressing, & unlucky.
Still, you don’t like to complain, do yer? Spit!

Then I smelled the potato burning in the oven. Hobbled hastily to the kitchen, to find the potato husks had thickened and flaked, with the flesh well overcooked. Somehow, the oven was red-hot, as if on full, but the dial showed I’d set it to 130. Think it’s kaput! So, a change of plans. I halved the potato, & emptied the husk into a basin. Adding some Leicester cheese, sea salt, and no-butter butter, Bashed it all up.

Got it back into the broken-down, overheating mini-oven, to reheat and hopefully create a slightly burnt cover of the cheese,
This will need concentration; I must keep an eye on the oven. Had to check the noise coming from the entry door area. A little loud, it sounded like someone scraping something. Back to check, it looked good, and I removed the cheesey spud. It was softer than I’d planned. I may have overdone the no-butter butter input? The terrible photo of it was disappointing to say the least. I worked on the blog while I ate it. Super-Tasty! Shame about the photos.
Annoyingly, CorelDraw froze, and I had to reload it again, losing a good bit of work I’d done. I took another snap of it as it restarted.
Ate the meal, made a brew, and Carer Mizra arrived. He’d bought me some bread. and green tomatoes. Made a sandwich later on, thanks, Mizra. 👍🏻 mate.
visit No.2. Five small cementlike sausages. Hard work, encouraging, willing and forcing things along. No bleeding!
Great, no mess to clean up!
Carer Mizra took the laundry down, ringing Jenny as she asked us to, and got the washer going. Frank later brought up the washing for me. Jenny had folded them nicely, and Frank brought them up for me.
Today, I was wearing a black Kagoule. Frank followed up on last week’s quip when I had the brown one on, “You look like Friar Tuck”, with “You look like the Sheikh of Aliba!” Hehehe! I love his quips.

Ejaz made his only visit of the day. Medicated he, Phorpain-Gelled, the shoulder. The lad was not his usual self. I asked if all was well. He said, “Fine, if I had a problem, you would be the first person I would tell and ask for help.” I was touched by this. I looked at these two efforts as the sun set on the horizon. As my EQ delivered some unearthly events that are due anytime now. I am not joking, and EQ is rarely, if ever, wrong. 
This forecast from him is distinct in detail in parts of his multiple messages.
The gullible will see renewed hope for peace in the world. Temporarily.
The next stage of humankind’s insanity will be revealed within 48 hours.
Hopes will be replaced with fear, combined with the knowledge that nothing can be done to save humankind, for without a planet, we cannot survive.
# Oligarges can escape into space but will not survive for long as oxygen, fuel and food are depleted.
Many will commit suicide, depressed that there are no proletariats left to rob, kill, overcharge and manipulate.
# Alright, I made that one up to cheer us all up.

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Inchie: Monday, 6th April 2026

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Last night, I kept waking up for a variety of reasons. Toothache Tiffany, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirely, Colin Cramps, or more often than not, it was 
. Be it by pain or worry, I fell back to sleep each time swiftly. I was finally brought back to actuality by Carer Rashid, who was seeking admission to the premises 12 floors below. Getting out of bed, again trailing the nocturnal bag along with me, I got to the intercom and pressed the open button. All my mind and body wanted to do was get back to sleep. I still do! I feel really worn out for some unfamable reason.
So, let Inchies Tales of Woe commence…
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I explained to Carer Rachid that I had to empty the nocturnal catheter, use the Porcelain Throne, and get a shower, clean my teeth & shave. Apologising for not having done them yet, adding the bad night’s rest that I’d just had. No reply, he was on his mobile.
Expecting him to stay near the wetroom door in case I call out for help while I am in the shower. He took out his mobile and sat in the main room.
So, no shower yet again. I’ve explained to each Carer my fear of showering alone after my last fall, when I had a dizzy spell in the shower with the bending and stretching. The evacuation this morning was a stubborn Constipation Conrad cracker.
First, I had to bend down to take off and empty the night bag; the others usually do this for me. Went a little dizzy taking it off, but no bother as such, and emptied it easily enough.
Then the battle commenced: It took a while and a smidge painful, encouraging things along. But finally, the evacuating product edged out agonisingly slowly.
It felt as if one superlong torpedo had escaped, but standing to clean Little Inchy’s bleeding haemorrhoids of sausage, which turned out so hard, the WC needed three flushes to clear them.
Rashid was still in the other room, or some other room. So I had to rush through the teeth cleaning and ended up with a cut on my gum and a cut on my lip. The shaving cost a fair bit of blood. Again, due to my rushing the job. The straps on the day Catheter came open, I called Rashid for assistance. He couldn’t have heard me, cause he didn’t show. I fumbled about getting the strap refitted, had a mega-Dizzy Dennis spell from bending down, and had to sit on the WC for a while until they disappeared. Then, miraculously, I tore off the night’s protective pants and put on a new pair with little hassle. Getting the kagoul on was difficult, and I required help, so I called the Carer again. This time, he casually appeared at the door and asked, ‘Are you alright?’ I asked for help getting the Kaghoul on, which drew a few laughs (I’ve put on a lot of weight, hehe!).
Medications given, and I asked for Barrier cream. And for the Phorpain gel to be applied to my back and right shoulder. He did the shoulder, can’t remember him doing my back. Getting the dressing gown on was another moment of humour. He made a mug of tea at my request. Weak & unwilling. Hahaha! 

I was pleased to see the bubble clouds were out and about this morning. I do like these skies. Why?
I’m not sure. Somehow, they appear to me as being so restful and peaceful.
I actually thought about getting back into bed… having to make it up first put me off. Huh!

Later, more of my photographicalisationings were taken.
Three to be precise.

I thought that they came out rather well, for me at least. The car park, with the sun rising to the right, offered a welcome change from the usual shots I’ve taken lately. I took another shot later of the park, but that came out as a movie, not recognised on CorelDraw. 

Then I took a shot, as best I could, of activity machines on the balcony.
Walking frame, then the self-propelling wheelchair,
& four-wheeled walker.
I made a nice strong mug of Gengettie tea, checked the TV programmes for tonight, and did the olive-oiling of my earholes that I forgot to do this morning.
Then tried to do a special effect shot of the computer screen as CorelDraw was reloading after going all sticky on me… Again! With the reflection of your truly taking the Kodak-Tim-2 snap. With reflections of the other side of the room !

A wide photo by Carer Rashid, on his mobile phone. To catch the puffer clouds I love. Thanks!

And finally, a shot taken earlier by the Carer
Showing my petre, cell, no,
apartment… little flat.

I made the meal for tonight. And got it marinating, ready to microwave later tonight. Naricot beans, tomato juice, carrots, red peppers, Tyriyaki and Gung Po sauces, water chestnuts, and mixed veg (canned & sliced). I got some o the rasty continental sliced bread from the freezer and left it to thaw out. A lick of my fingers, knife and spoon used, confirmed that I intend to enjoy this feast. Slurping anticipated!

As I went to clean my teeth, I took this snap of the night view’s sunshine. It didn’t look as dark to my glaucomatous eyes. I hobbled to the wetroom.

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Inchie: Sunday, 5th April 2026

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The first thing I recall on waking up was . Seconds later, I realised I was virtually shivering with cold. I knew something was wrong to feel this cold as I saw this morning’s sunshine blasting through my cotton-thin, tattered-edged curtains, their hooks missing from the balcony. I took off the nocturnal Catheter pouch, got a hold of  and went over to investigate where the cold was coming from. Taking this snap of the view… through the wide open balcony door! No wonder I was shivering, I’d left the doors open and been sleeping in the nearby aged, grotty-looking, c1966-made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner. I closed the door and found that I had somehow lost one of my night socks. I needed to get warm, and, conveniently, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. I limped into the wet room and put the heater on. Got sat on the raised plastic seat, and wallowed in the warmth from the convector heater on the wall. It took mages to get the evacuation underway, but as I was warming up, I didn’t mind it at all today. I was convinced after ten minutes of urging and pushing, the Constipation Conrad would be in control. But, no! Although the first torpedo clunked into the bowl, immediately followed of a Trotsky Terence-like performance of splattering, stinking, watery mass flowed. The torpedo was dark brown; the follow-up was orangey-light brown. It cost me half of a new toilet roll, and an awfully long time to clean things up after the event.

I tried to get back to sleep by adding an extra-heavy quilt to the other one. But Ejaz rang the intercom to get admission. We did my Health Checks with the sphygmomanometer, blood tests with the Pulse oximeter, and measured the temperature. I think they were slightly better than the previous few days, but still in the High Category. Medications provided. Teeth were tinctured. Earholes olive oiled. Then  Shuddering Shoulder Shirley was Salved. Harold’s bleeding Haemorrhoids were Germoloided, and Little Inches bleeding Fungal Lesion was anticepticated. That was the only one that tested my pain level. Arthur Itis and Cartilages Kloe and Carole were Pornapain-gelled.

The back, amazingly, did not need any medicating… that’s a first this year. Then, while I was brushing my teeth, Ejaz made me a mug of tea; he’s getting better at it lately. Supplying me with some bikkies to dunk in the mug. Going through this every day can get a bit wearying. But thanks to Jenny’s help, I have longer visits on some days, which stops my blogging, but it is of great assistance when Mizra or Ejaz does it. They know what is needed and do not ask me what I want all the time. They, I think. appreciate my neurological problems and how they affect me, memory-wise, stuttering, and loss of balance. The others even leave me to bend down. Which is a bit galling when they do that, while they are on their mobiles doing reports, I assume.

After bidding Ejaz Cheerio and Tara, I took a decent snap of the view from the kitchenette window. Then had to pay another visit to the . This was almost a copy of the first effort of the day. More time lost. Glad that I’m well stocked up with toilet paper! For a treat, I’m using an Andrex roll between each of the terribly thin, cheap rolls.
I’d like to work out what’s happening with these dual activations of both Trotsky Terence and Conrad Consitpation-like evacuation on the same visit?

I hoovered the hallway and kitchen. Well, it’s not a Hoover, is it?
It is an Akitas cheapo version from Amazon. I can’t be accused of being high-class, educated, or a snob. Hehe!
Common as muck would be the best epitaph for me. When they bury my ashes or whatever they do, I’d like a plaque on the wall or put in the press. Perhaps something along the lines of:
“He came, He failed, and he went” Haha!

I think I saw some rain falling as I took this shot through the balcony windows. The door chime chimed, and in came Carer Ejaz, on his midday call. We checked the second Health Check figures were recorded correctly on the Excel log, and I was in so little pain, just took two Paracetamol. Good that!,
As Ejaz was getting ready for Porpain-Gelling Shaking- Shoulder-Shirley, he noticed that I must have been scratching away at the still showing scars on my lower left arm.
He put some Cetreben cream on it. Advising me not to scratch at them again, or they will never clear up or disappear.

Google’s opening was still hit-or-miss. I just kept trying a different icon for the same action until one worked. A different one responded to being pressed each time. WordPress was not so jerky today, well, at 02:45hrs, anyway.
This keyboard is getting harder and harder to see with its tiny letters on the keys, and faded off-white ones at that. I’m hoping for the best when the man calls to check the computer out, I think on Tuesday or Wednesday. Mizra made the arrangements for me when we went shopping on Saturday. I loved that, getting out to an actual shop and seeing what I was buying beforehand. I hope not to buy food online anymore. With all the mistakes I keep making, getting help shopping is invaluable now. I hope it continues weekly, please! Hehehe!

Cor blimey, the sun had dipped!
Then the rain came again.

Inchie: Saturday, 4th April 202 New Problems arose, each one solved. YES!

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I enjoyed writing this. Why? I’ll tell yers! Despite feeling a little out of sync & balance when I woke, as per usual, several new problems had started arriving shortly afterwards; the greater part of them, with much-appreciated help from Jenny and Carers’ Ejaz and Mizra, were solved! And each in a short time. The misplacement of the Kodak-Tim-2 camera wasn’t sorted until late afternoon. I’ve got some used and unused graphics to give the blog a bit of colour, and I hope some humour as well.
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0655hrs: I stirred back into imitation life, feeling a smidge groggy. As I was taking off the night bag from the day Catheter bag, I anticipated the inner rumbling would arrive to send me to the Porcelain Throne, as it had done for the last four days. Buy, no. In fact, it is now gone 19:00hrs, and I still haven’t passed a sausage, or even visited the Throne. Not that I minded, after the two cases of involuntary emissions from the rear end, and all the pain of cleaning it up.
It took me an inordinate length of time to get Google to open again. Frustrating, this and all the other problems I’ve had with the computer. I expect it will pack up on me soon. But at least Carer Mizra will have a look later.
Ejaz arrived as I had just got the Ode started. Goes without saying, but the blue screen came on a couple of times, and I had to turn everything off, losing the two hours of work I’d done on the blog Ode. Ejaz gave me the prescription medications and did a full-body check, applying Cetraben, Barrier, and Germolene creams where needed. Phorpain-Gelled the right shoulder, and under my man breasts.
I got the computer working again, well, I just rebooted it, and was in the process of struggling to get Google to open again, and Jenny rang as Carer Mizra arrived. I’ll ring her back when Mizra has done his thing… I thought. Turns out that we’d agreed yesterday that Lizea would take me to the computer shop, and, of course, I’d forgotten about it. So, it was a mad rush for me to get readied in time for us to catch the bus. Mizra said to leave the computer, helped me get dressed and get the walker ready to use, and off we went to the bus stop. To make things a smidge worrying, I could not find my flat keys and fob! Mizra said he would lock up using the keys from the safe on the wall outside. We hastened to the bus stop along the front of the flats. I was struggling to breathe with the rushing, but it had to be done. Mizra went ahead as the bus arrived, but it took me a few minutes to catch up. But nobody complained, just gave me irritated looks. Haha!
We got off the bus at Sherwood. Mizra stopped me from falling over getting off the bus, bless him. We walked down to the Computer Shop, and Mizra spoke with Asif. Plans were made for someone to call at the flat to assess the status of my computer and let Asif know so he can get a replacement with more power and memory installed. Times and dates I can’t recall, but I’ll check with Mizra later tonight.
Coming out of the Computer shop, Mizra took me to the Continental food store to buy some food. I’m glad to say the cash card worked.
We’d just missed a bus back, and Mizra would not let me try to walk back up the hill. So, we waited for the bus. Up and back to the flat, up the lift and inside. Mizra put the food away as I started a search for my keys and camera. No luck with either.
When Mizra departed, he said he was sure that Ejaz would find the camera and keys.
I got the jacket off and dressing gown on, and sat down on the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, catheter-tube-trapping recliner to do so. And felt a lump on the cushion with my bum… it was the missing Kodak-Tim-2 camera! So I put it to use on the purchases that Mizra made possible.
They had some Sokolow foods to die for in stock. Silesian chicken sausages, Polish pork & beef grill sausages. And a Pork Loin smoked ham, absolutely delicious! Expensive, mind you. I’ve not found any for over a year. Soft bread rolls. Halal lemon wafers. Hard green tomatoes, I do like them so. And a box of Dutch soft cheese triangles with four flavours.
I called Jenny with the news about the computer.
Then took some shots of around the flats,
Front car park,
End car park…
Eerily quiet?
Towards Sherwood.
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Mizra made his last call. Assisted me in preparing my meal of the day. Told me the man will call about the computer on Tuesday or Wednesday.
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Stopped the blog and got the chips in the oven.
And watched football on TV.

Back in the morning – Hopefully.

I’m back, but it took until the dawn of the evening.
Carer Mizra helped me make the meal. Spread the cobs for me, and checked on the chips I was about to get in the oven as he departed. Bless him. Got the chips cooking, closed the computer, ran a virus scan, and it was time to serve the meal. Two Silesian sausages, soft cheese-filled bread rolls, and oven chips. I took this snap of it. And settled to eat it. It tasted very nice, good in fact. 

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May Your Bread Drop Butter-Side Up!
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Inchie: Mon 29 Mar 2026: Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley supported by Back-Pain-Brenda & Cracked-Ribs-Roger assisting, Computer Zonked!

/ Inchie / 9 Comments

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A day of more pain than when I was in the hospital. Mainly Bad-Back-Brenda, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley and Cracked-Rib-Ruella. Shirely being the lead aggressor. But differently today for Ruella. The pains came and went at random. Then again, so did the shuddering.
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Angel Jenny was away at her relative’s adobe in Chesterfield, I believe. I hope she had a lovely few days, a good change, and great chinwags, not forgetting! 🤎
She deserves a break from me and my problems lately. Hehe!
But this Sunday has been calmer. Not being able to make contact with the bank on a Sunday is less stressful. I just hope tha the oligarchal British Gas does not cut the power to my electricity meter. Please!
Carer Ejaz arrived. I ask him again to get me a list of the Carer’s new call times so I do not get caught out or confused. No answer was the reply. He looked at the new medications on his desk. Then Phorpain gelled Shuddering Shirley and Backache Brenda.

Oddly, I think I had several mini-seizures today, but with none of the upflux of acid after each of them, morning and afternoon. Of course, the dizziness and lack of balance were there. Toothache Tiffany joined in late afternoon. Bad enough for me to use Toothyache Spray and take an extra Co-Codamol.

Back on track.
Two snaps were taken of the morning view, and I tried to make it look like one wide shot. I failed.

I considered the current nine prob;ems I am having since getting back from the hospital. I decided that the Bank blocking my card, British Gas threatening to cut off my power, and Grammarly not being paid might mean I lose it. But can’t do anything until my money… if, I have any left, is released to pay off Grammarly and buy some food. Dunnit sound awful? It is!

Got on with the blogging, belatedly. And either fell asleep, or had a mega seizure that I think lasted an hour. No way of knowing after I’d been certain I’d had some, upflux-free ones in the morning. Life is so
complicated since I finished work, and in some way busier; fighting of the Oligarchs, British Gas, TSB Bank, Virgin Media, and Liberty Global, etc. How I found time to go to the hospital for so long, I don’t know. Not that anyone noticed. (🎼Sad violin music🎼 Haha!)

Ejaz did a 15 minute call. Gave me medications, then Phorpaine Gelled the shoulder and back for me. I asked him to help me open a can of Water Chestnuts. We added them to the Sweet Tiyaki Sauce, and baked beans in a microwave tub to marinate.

The oddest mixture was released on my Porcelain Throne visitation.

A different angle of the end car park was taken on the balcony. Despite it raining, I saw no mud slide on the ground. Well, a little bit. Then to the kitchen to take this shot of the front car park. I regret doing this. As I closed and twisted the window handle, the ribs kicked off with more force.

Ejaz next call and we had a bottle of Malt each, and a quick natter. Mostly over my concern that we must talk to my bank manager tomorrow, without a doubt.

Later, the rain returned. I took this shot through the closed window in the kitchenette.
Then a sudden Dizzy Dennis attack all but had me over. Enough of that, I got the meal in the oven, and closed the computer. It was time to anyway, as Cataract Katie was foggin over, itching like mad, and at times it was painful. Going to get the meal made. Carefully, as Dizzy Dennis was persistent now. Coming in waves.
Back in the morning, I hope.
Darn it, no Enoxaparing left. I must get some ordered, I’ll ask Ejaz to do it for me. If he calls again. 
 The computer went down, and it took me hours to get it back. No idea what I did to get it back, but expect the same next time I use it (Now).

Carer Dilan got on to the bank about the blocked card. Ending with him saying the card is now unlocked.
They sent an email saying the same.
I could lose Asda, Grammarly, British Gas, Rent, mobile, landline, EMAILS and WordPress payments were not made, and getting messages and threats from so many debts I owe.  
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,Comp down, sticking, need Asif to help fit a new one. No access to email anything. And how do I pay the man, without my bank card operative?
Took me half an hour to tyoe the above, blocking, sticking, in a mess.
Waht next?
Just noticed Grammarly not working, they may have blocked me for non-payment. Maybe I did something lethal in trying to get back online. Try again in the morning. The end is high.

 

peed off, depressed… I pray I can get the computer tp open in the AM. If not…

Inchy Today: Sunday 13th April 2025

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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What did we do when info was ungoogleable?
A history homework exam, no answer. Inexcusable!
The library was closed, and Father was unhelpful!
What date was the battle for Constantinople?
Must I guess? No, the answer must be veridical,
If I fail another exam, I’m in for some ridicule,
How can I avoid risking the vituperable?
Pray to a God or something Mystical?
Miss school? Go the doctor with summat mythical?
No, that would be naughty and cynical,
Maybe give someone a phone call?
We don’t have one; how do I sort out this puzzle?
Visit my doctor, give teacher some tarradiddle,
I’m not a good liar, I’d not be believable,
Use a phone box. Yes, I’ve got a testrill…
Don’t know anyone with a phone… Testicles!
Yes, I do. I could call Auntie Carol,
Off to the GPO box, rained poured down terrible!
Ah, no phone book was available!
I resigned myself to my fate; I was threnetical,
Walked home. The rain died down to a trickle,
Dad’s gone out and locked me out. I’m in a pickle!
My thinking was in three-dimensional!
To me, the problem was not trivial,
The rain poured again, now torrential,
Knocked neighbours door, for shelter and a natter,
No answer, so I went for a soaking wet toddle…
Got in the outside toilet, passed a traditional,
Dad came back; he got a bit physical…
But dry at last, I almost felt triumphal,
Dad said, 1453. Then hit me with his belt buckle!
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05:10hrs: After a night spent more waking than sleeping. I felt surprisingly alert and relatively active, lasting approximately one minute.
This was a first for me: I fell out of the hospital bed because I overreached to get at the nocturnal night bag, which, for some unknown reason (well, it was Glaucoma Gladys, really), I thought was leaking. I rushed to get it upright after it fell off the safety bar holder. I landed face down on my slippers and the waste basket, in a semicrumpled painful heap!
Then, as I recovered and grasped the bed to haul my gigantic body up, the quilts lost their grip, and there I was on the floor again, covered by the outer quilt and face down this time. I stayed there for a while to get my bearings and breath back. Then, after doing some deep breathing, I set about mountaineering my way up onto the bed. Either I had a seizure or else, inconceivably, I’d got up onto the bed and was sitting there safely, in two minutes! This couldn’t be right. How did I do that so quickly, and I may add, almost painlessly to boot? Had I just dreamt these events? No, the bent waste basket was in sight. Now, put it in the waste chute. Tsk!
Then the aches from the bruised arm, and I went into a clearly identified seizure, which I think lasted for five minutes or so. I needed a little longer doing nothing, which I did. Incredulously, I did not feel depressed or angry with myself. I decided to get the ablutions done ASAP and apply some Phorpain gel to the cartilages, back, and neck afterwards. It sounded logical to me. .

I got sidetracked from my plans as soon as I went to check the kitchen for running taps, open doors, or left-on stoves. They were all as they should be.
This morning, the moon was much smaller and had lost its red/orange tinge. Kodak Tim 2 was used to take these snaps of the planet. They are not as good as yesterday’s, which were not as good as the day before.

Well, these went well overall! There were just two nicks shaving. The bowl of water I used to stand in to clean the feet was not tipped over. There were no tumbles in the wet room. And I seemed to get them done quickly—but did I? I was not rushing. The medicalisationing was not so successful. Because I could not reach my back to put the ointment on the bruises, Acne or eczema on my back. I’ll ask the carer, to Med Hydrhelp when he comes. As usual, the worst medicating bit was applying and rubbing in the stinging ointment . Not that it bothered me, of course. Ahem!
I got the pain gel cream on   and .

Duties.
Trotsky Terence had an even greater bearing on this morning’s evacuation. Phoo! The stink almost overpowered me. Soft yet sticky and smelly. Karki coloured. Eurgh!

Another of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ailments, seizures, Glaucoma Gladys, Peripheral Neropathy, dying neurotransmitters, grotesque succubae, Whoopsiedangleplops, ailments, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, Accifauxpas, rent increases, food price hikes, and the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, is how I recovered so well after the two tumbles?
Feeling alright again now. The bruises and back pain are bothering me, but nothing is serious.

I made myself my first mug of Glengettie tea since last Thursday. I’ve never gone three days without a brew of tea since I’ve been here!
I noticed it was only 07:20 on the clock calendar, which matched the computer’s. 
However, how did I get everything sorted out, abluted and on the computer so quickly?

Carer Arhem arrived as I was about to hoover the hallway. (It never got done!)
The lad put on my diabetic socks, issued the prescription medications, and reminded me of the vitamin B12 tablet. We chatted for a minute or two, as best we could, and then he did an Alert Alarm Battery Check with the NCC Control. We said our “Taras,” literally. I explained what it meant a week ago, and he uses it every call now. Bless him. He’s a lovely lad.

Keeps visiting for shorter periods but more often today, uo to now anyway. , and were regular, and the were more active than ever

I took this shot through the balcony doors. 
Then, the fatigue hit me earlier in the day than ever.
It might be connected to the tumbles. I still can’t understand how I’m not in worse condition. I’m not complaining, mind you. Oh, no! I am more tired than ever. I have to just stop.

Never got back on the computer again today.
I’ll try to catch up tomorrow.
Not good this.
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All The Best, Folks!

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Fiddlededee Inchy: Sunday 29th December 2024

/ Inchie / 9 Comments

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INCHY’S SPORTING FAILURES
Football for Oil Drum Lane Athletic,
They soon discovered I was pathetic…
I’d like to have tried something aquabatic,
But if I go near water, I panic,
Whist; for my partners, this was tragic!
They threw me out, but I was apologetic,
Weight lifting? 1st session, I looked cadaveric!
Angling Club had no wins, but I was the bus comic,
Darts, I played better, avoiding the gin & tonic,
Mt teammates christened me ‘The Dipshit’!
At that, I found I was even more chronic!
Now, at squash, I was doing well, almost dynamic,
Of course, I didn’t win any games, dammit!
Archery, not strong enough or ergonomic…
Parachuting, I did one; it was too frenetic!
Bungee Jumping, I did one, and it was fantastic!
Second go, that was something of a classic,
I ended up in the hospital when the platform split,
Gave me a skrik, it left me spasmatic,
On a machine, I think it was electrotherapeutic,
On to my time being sportingly pugilistic,
I may have been nervous, but I went ballistic…
I was too small. That was my sitch…
The first punch I took, I was kayoed out of it!
The reasons above for this ode reading are so threnodic!
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Yet again, it was a night of broken sleep. A little different, though, this time. The usual trend lately is for me to wake with a jump or jerk, as if someone had prodded me awake. Most of Saturday night’s last night’s disturbances were almost calm and serene. But there were far more of them this time. I was having the odd mini-seizure now and then, most times after waking. Working out the time was surprisingly difficult… did you ask why? Then I’ll tell yers. I first went into the land of bliss as I was watching TV, and… unbeknownst to me, I moved into the hospital bed. When I decided to get up, I wondered what the heck was happening. (Thinking that I was in the recliner) I looked at the clock and saw the wall about 4 inches from my nose! Hehehe!
I tried to stand up to remove the nocturnal catheter pouch off. For a few moments, I was baffled by the situation. As I turned and hit my head on the anti-fall bar, I realised where I was and could not find the clock.

Extracting my flabby body from the bed went great! Because both Cartilage Chloe and Carole were painless. Arthur Itis’s stiffness was letting me know about it. Once I sat on the side of the bed, I checked the clock; it was 05:10hrs. I got the bag off of the catheter. There was not much urine in it, and it was of a top-rating colour on the card.

I wanted a mug of tea, so I went into the kitchen, checked taps, etc. and took two photos of the morning view, and it was fogless for the first time in three days.
So, the pictures looked semi-decent compared to the foggy ones taken over the last few days. I decided the next job would be to get the done.

I utilised the Porcelain Throne first… well, I meant to. But Constipation Conrad prevented any motions from starting.
I realised I’d not got the tackle needed. So I fetched the bath towel and Kagoule, Kaftan, Thobe, Longshirt, or whatever you call it, from the hallway. Returned to the wet room, and showered, and shaved.
Apart from a little difficulty getting the fresh Protection Pants on, all went so well that I thought it might be a last treat from the almighty before the Grim Reaper arrives. Haha! 
Also, it took only 1 hour 30 minutes from start to finish!

!
All fresh, clean, and in a good mood, given how well the ablutions had gone, I went to the kitchen to make the mug of Glengettie that I’d failed to make earlier. I got the kettle on again… The innards warned me to get back to the Porcelain Throne post haste! So, I did… I cannot believe how things changed so much. At the first sitting, nothing would move, and as seen, I blamed Constipation Conrad.
But it was a performance this time. I have never been so close to a voluntary evacuation before without it happening!
So I think I had a bit of luck there, really.

I got the tea made and reset the retro 1970s-style clock calendar. Then I got on the computer. Ten minutes later, I fumbled  back as fast as possible to get to the Porcelain Throne again! Yet again, apart from Starmer, someone must have been watching over me. Because it was as close a job to things escaping as it was on the second visit! Phew! Can this good fortune last? Is it a trick by the devil to make me relax and get caught out on the next visit? I expect to have a few more yet. The innards started slowly churning again no sooner than when I sat back down on the computer. I’ll avoid starting to feel optimistic about the situation. My belief that things will finally turn around, only for another adverse event to happen, reinforces the idea that my bad luck is persistent.  Well, it is! Tsk!

Carer Kimberly arrived; I’ve not started on any blog work yet. I forgot to ask her to put my diabetic socks on for me. What a turd I am! Sometimes, the Carers remember, but not today. Not that I blame them. Just wish I could remember to ask.

When Kimberly left, I thought about what to have for nosh tonight. I had a look at the food available in the kitchen, fridge, cupboards and freezer
I put some spuds into the slow cooker. Then, what did I do after seeing the morning view getting more blue? I took a photo; in fact, I took two. I’ll blow this second one up.
Can you tell what the things in the sky are? None in the first shot, just the close-up one? Thanks!
Of course, it could be some gunk on the lens? I’ll see what the next one looks like.
I’ll have some Golonkowa later on the meal. I love pork knuckle. This Polish can of it usually have plenty of pork jelly included. Very nice! I’ve got the memory of the taste coming back now.
I was tempted to nibble at the LU Cookies, my new favourite biscuit nowadays. If I open the packet, I may be tempted to eat a few, spoiling the dinner later. So, I resisted the temptation. It’s easy when you are as determined as I am to do the right thing. Alright, I only ate
two of them! .

The blog work is getting slower and slower and becoming more mistake-ridden. I am determined to get it together and to concentrate. Then Carer Selina arrived. I’ve not seen her for weeks. She has been off for a while with a broken foot! I forgot to ask her to put the socks on again. We were having a little natter… I went into what (Selina thinks were two) mid-conversation.This time, it seemed I just looked like I’d fallen asleep, but I was muttering. I can recall nothing of it while I was out of it. Then, according to Selina, I started carrying on from our conversation… after a few words, I drifted off again. I think it was good that someone had seen it as it happened. But she said it frit her a bit.

After she left, blurred my vision, and I had to give up on the blog. I’m unsure if it was in the report, as I couldn’t read the writing. Not that anyone reads them.

I think I took this photo earlier in the day. But midst the seizures, I managed to miss it off then. I do that a lot, you know… miss things off.
These I took when I went to the fifth mug of tea of the day. I did manage to drink one of them… I think I did. I’m all over the place mentally now.
Ah, I just saw the circle I put on this one on the left. Same snap as the one on the right above. I’ve blown it up. I’m hoping that someone can determine what it is. Well, I know not what it is. Is it a bird? Is it an alien? Is it an Angel? Or is another freebie donation being delivered to Starmer as a backhander?
A Day of Mysteries, Today.

Ah, well, I’ll get summat to eat then.
Golonkowa, pickled beetroot & water chestnuts, cheesy no-butter, buttered bread rolls, and some tasteless potatoes that need the sauce to flavour them. The biggest disappointment? The crap, bland, going soft tomatoes!
But I ate it all… bar some of the spuds.

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Inuring Inchy: Thursday 28th November 2024

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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A change in style for Ode of the day today,
Sarcasm I tried to avoid, store away…
Add intelligence, albeit adumbratively,
I tried to create an eclectic array…
Thoughts, & memories a personal breviary, 
Steer clear of any lachrymosity…
Not to overdo my loquacity,
Or even mention Starmer’s lubricity!
Mix reality with dreams & veridicality,
To blend farce with pretend-unctuosity,
I was hoping for some theopneusty,
I failed in all; I just created self-anxiety…
My earlier ideas mentally acted evasively…
Doreen Dementia with great audacity… 
Stopped me from accessing, acted evasively…
Dealing with my thoughts circuitously,
My grey cells, infested with a new proclivity,
My intended hopes fell into jejunity!
I’m sad now I’ve missed the opportunity…
I’ve lost my thoughts, plans & fecundity,
Fading intelligence & mental acuity,
Next week, I’ll be back again in Ward 23,
The nurse said for electroencephalography,
It records brainwaves, electroencephalographically
I wish I could have done this ode betterly…
It started so well as well… Pity!
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Yet another sleepless night! I went through the same routine. Last night I watched the TV in the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner to watch an episode of my favourite, ‘Heartbeat’, on the TV and eat the meal.
But Sweet Morpheus refused to arrive. Once more, I moved into the hospital bed. But the piles were so painful, I moved back to the c1966, £300 charity shop bought second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. I stayed there with the TV on and nothing to watch, but as a general rule, this often sends me into the bliss of sleep when the adverts come on. Not tonight, Oh, no such luck!
I was still there at 06:00hrs and decided to rise from the depths of the uncomfortable recliner. The first job was to remove the , and then get a wash and medicate poor Harold’s Haemorrhoids, which were as bad as yesterday morning. It’s not anywhere near so bloodied this time, though.
I made a halfhearted attempt at straightening the hospital bed covers, giving myself a decent .
For the first hour or so, I had no s, and as far as I could tell, no seizures either. When the shocks came on, the seizures came on simultaneously. I managed a nifty bit of balance manoeuvring that prevented any tumbles.
. I was taking a photo of the dark morning sky, with Venus as the only thing on view in the sky.
I considered adopting another Smug Mode when I saw how well it came out. And took a lower-down view of the hidden houses. As I closed the window, the Kodak dropped from my limp grip. ! I automatically grabbed the camera as I bent down and actually caught it! Unfortunately I had a  and banged my against the floor radiator. It made such a mess that I got a new set-up from the main junk room and retired to the wet room to get the bag changed and things cleaned up, putting on some fresh PPs afterwards. At least I felt a little freshened up and cleaner. It took me ages to replace it, and the bending down so much bothered Dizzy Dennis, who told me about it. I sat down on the Porcelain Throne to let things calm down. Soon, however, I found myself in need of the Porcelain Throne mentioned above.
It was all over in about a minute. I passed so many soft chunky lumps, along with what looked like a good dose of gravy, that followed immediately after the approximately twenty cubes of poo had escaped! It’s a blessing in a way; the differences in colour, pong, and contents in my daily visits to the wet room’s Porcelain Throne.
Never ever the same twice on the trot!

As I belatedly got on the computer, Carer Alia arrived. Medications sorted and given.

I did well with the photo saving after using the cCleaner this morning. Only a couple were rejected.
I pressed on and finished the Wednesday blog. It took me a while, as I had a prolonged Seizure when checking the blog for errors. I do recall starting the Grammarly check. Their new confusing side strip indicators (they’ve just come on again, and with my eyesight, they often confuse me) annoy me with all these unwanted changes, and that was my last memory for an hour or so. I very nearly just clicked the ‘Publish’ tag. But I managed to see what an absolute mess I’d made with so many errors and mistakes, and I had to spend another hour reviewing them and correcting them. Grumph!

EERIE PHOTO
I snapped a picture of the horizon. The mists in the background and the sun rising from the left behind the block of flats looked beautiful, almost surreal.

The cannabis-growing dwellings showed up, with the ground and roof frost melting more on the top of some houses than others. Yes, I was wearing my Sherlock Holmesian hat this morning. Hehehe!

Gave me a few tugs, but she soon settled down. He was enjoying himself for a few hours. He was on and off for most of Carer Sam’s midday visit. Not sure what she thought was going on. But was kind enough not to mention it. I explained to her that the nurse had ordered me some cream and lotions after she had checked my magnificent (Ahem!) bodily orifices. The acne and eczema, Little Inchies fungal lesion, the Catheter strap area, and piles will benefit from these. But, I’ve forgotten what she told me, that each one was for now. Tsk!

I made an Asda order for late next week. I shall make sure I get it right this time! No, I didn’t, after all.
“Sorry, something went wrong. Please try again later”
Well, I did several times. But no, go!

: I spotted on the web that the new Heron Food Store in Sherwood had opened. I decided to pay it a late visit. Which meant having to get washed, unclothed, and reclothed, as well as struggling to get the trousers on after rejigging the new catheter set up so it didn’t pull too much with the trews on. Then, I had a battle to get the shoes on. I set up the three-wheeled trolley and hoped I’d got the bus times right. I set out…
I left the front door with the walker and turned to lock the door, but I didn’t have the keys! I was sure I had them in the coat pocket. Now I must find and collect them and get to the bus stop on time. A mini-panic overcame me. Back in the flat, it took me a few minutes to find the keys, then I checked that I’d got the bus pass on me. I departed again in something nearing a poor imitation of a rush.
I went to the lift, down in it, out of it, along the connecting corridor, through the main foyer, and out onto the street. I noticed no bus at the stop. Maybe I was early. I hobbled hastily to the bus stop.
How terribly disappointing! The sign read something like, “This bus stop is closed due to road repair workings!” Shitski!
All that effort and pain to get ready as well!
I walked back to Winwood Court foyer and let some nurses in as I entered the building.
Along the dark, dank corridor, then through the connecting swipe door into Woodthorpe Court, limped to the lifts, up in the lift, out of the lift, into the flat’s foyer, and finally back home to the flat. I think I sulked a little! I got iI got inside, feeling that my decision to go shopping was not a good idea. It took me yonks to save the two photos on file for use.
I had to use the cCleaner twice for some reason?

Better make my evening sarnies then.

The photographs on the left were taken by cheeky chappie Carer Christopher!

The little scallywag took them while I was eating my meal & watching something on YouTube.

I had no idea he’d done so until he handed me my camera. Hehehe! You can see how I was enjoying, despite the painful teggies, as the last few teeth battled to chew through the mini feast. And there’s no doubt about it, it was one of the most enjoyed ones I’d had in a long time. Good job that I’ve got the Tooth Pain Killer spray at hand! It was well used.

The Meal: It was nothing fancy. Two large defrosted cheesy topped rolls, none-butter-buttered, with a smidge of Marmite added. Chopped onions, a big dollop of pickled beetroots, sliced-up a sea-salted Dutch tomato, and a stick of Marmite-infused cheddar cheese! I made up four cobs, wrapped up two and put them in the fridge for the morning. (I’ve just taken them out of the refrigerator now, Thursday midday) I must have been concentrating on the programme on the computer or eating the meal (most likely).

Cause I don’t know how I didn’t realise that Chris was snapping away with the Kodak. Hehe!

SADLY… Sleep was resisting again!
I didn’t even bother trying to get into the bed after last night’s ‘Oh, so painful’ effort at sleeping was, for poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids. I returned to the £300 second-hand shop purchased in 1966, which was a welt-causing, uncomfortable, not working, itch-inspirational, and crumb-containing recliner.
Initially, I had some success and nodded off for around about an hour & a half.
Then, the first visit for several days came from the nasty . That was the end of my night’s repast. I forced myself up at 06:30hrs… and commenced a battle with the to get it detached from the day bag.  

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TTFN & Taketh Care, each!
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Insular Inchy: Wednesday 27th November 2024

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

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06:00hrs: My body shook, and the sharp, tacky pains emitted from the blood-congealed, horribly painful rear rump, which contained .
I edged my bottie as carefully as I could manage; I could feel the cracking dried blood as I lifted my elephantine bellied body from the second-hand, c1968, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner.

As I rose up on my wobbly legs, I trod on the tube and nearly fell back down onto the bum! Thank heavens I didn’t – I’d probably still be crying now if I did. The Haemorhhoids were so hurtful at their most painful today.
Last night, I forgot to ask the Carer to remove the Diabetic socks from me. Then, as I was removing the night pouch from the day pouch connection, I noticed that the urine colour was far too red! I recall thinking, “What next?” It didn’t take me long to find out…I’d left the tray with the dirty plate & cutlery (but no food on it; Hehehe!) on the Carer’s table from last night’s meal. I took the things into the kitchen, the pouch plates and trays, etc., to get them all washed, emptied and sorted. To find:
The water was so cold. Then again, being left running for about 12 hours, hot water taps tend to do that. I notice these things! This was about the 4th time this week! A little gnashing and s+wearing in a self-defamatory well followed. Then, I felt the blood trickling down my inner legs as Harold’s Haemmorrids flowed freely. By the time I’d cleaned the plates and sorted the catheter pouch out, there was a blood-red puddle on the kitchenette floor, via the rear end piles, down the legs and feet, and had got into the slippers. Finding the words to describe how I felt gives me vent to using naughty language… but I’ll not do so.
I painfully manoeuvred my way to the wet room, now requiring the use of the .
After a near standard other than its great weight, first Constipation Conrad torpedo evacuation – Trotsky Terence followed up immediately after, with two spurts of mushy-spraying-all-over & making a right mess to clean up. But the thing was, another first… well, second really; The torpedo was dark brown, the first wet-mode burst was almost red, and the second splattering was Karki coloured! I was tempted to take a snap to show the Doctor. I started to strip off to get the Heammorrhoids cleaned and creamed and realised that no hot water was available. After another short burst of frustrating language and self-berating, still in pain, I went to the kitchen, thinking I could put on some saucepans of water to heat up and use…
!!! I remembered that the cooker had broken and could not be used to heat anything! The curses I used grew a little nastier now! So, I used the kettle and the slow cooker to get some hot water to clean up and carry out the needed medicalisationings.
I began to try to sort out the haemorrhoid problem for cleaning as the PPs were removed…
Joined in with Harold, spouting blood. This cannot be happening, surely?
Every single day – disasters, failures, errors!
And it wasn’t over yet…
I pride myself on being more pain-tolerant than most, having been thrown in the Canal as a youngster, being shot twice, a heart attack, and having had Peripheral Neuropathy. A duodenal ulcer, & been mugged. On the same day in 1966, I suffered a DC and then, an hour later, an AC electric shock. Then, I had a stroke. So, all these things helped me learn to cope a little easier. But today, Harold’s Haemorrhoids and Little Inchies Fungal Lesion bleeding at the same time, then Toothache Tiffany kicked off – combined with so many out-and-out , Accifauxpas, cock-ups, mistakes and a belated appearance from , I felt that I struggled to cope as well as usual.
But it wasn’t over yet!

I did suffer with fetching hot water to and from the kitchen, but at least I avoided an Accifauxpa of dropping any.
Smug-Mode, almost Adopted – but I thought it best not to!

Carer Richard arrived as I made a brew of Glengettie tea, which was when my first of the day arrived. I think I did a lot of waffling, but I am unsure. I forgot to ask Richard to take off my socks for me. Minutes later, a carer and the NHS district nurse arrived. Nice!

The Carer departed to come back later and left me with the nurse. No complaints here! Embarrassingly, she checked Little Inchies fungal lesion, then Harold’s Haemorrhoids. I think I explained that I’d cleaned them up, but she was not impressed. She is going to order two new creams for me to use. She was in a rush, and I can’t remember what she told me about which cream was for which ailment now. Grumph!

I finally got on the computer. I’m miles behind again.

On the right, I took three shots this morning before finding the hot water tap in the kitchenette had run cold. But it didn’t bother me, naturally… I suppose one could say I’m such a happy-go-lucky, cheerful bundle of joy, a petite young scallywag.
On the other hand, if I have another day like today, who can say? Sob!
The rain came down a little later. Not as much as t blood did at various times today; as I was writing this, I had a monster -sneeze. Now, I’ve a bloody nose! Knowing how affectionate, supportive and jealous my selection of ailments are to each other, I was not in the least bit surprised when, an hour later, I dunked an LU cookie in a mug of tea… it took ages to stop the tooth bleeding.

I suppose I’m just lucky?

After the next Carer arrived, Carer Kara came to see me. As if to prove if I had a seizure when Richard called or not, I found the morning tablets box filed on the Carer’s desk. I could not remember if I’d taken some this morning or had missed yesterday morning’s dosage?
As I thought hours ago, what’s next?

Wholemeal rolls, Stilton cheese, red onions, pork loin, & air-fried potatoes. With loads of sweet baby pickled beetroots.

I packed up early on the darned computer. So tired and fed up with the problems it was giving me. But could I sleep? No! Not a chance in Hell! I tried the hospital bed, but the way the nurses left it after changing the positions so often to try to get the catheter tube back in Little Inchie it was just too uncomfortable. I spent over an hour adjusting it to how I got it, which was restful and took hours, the last time the nurses had been, to get semi-sleep-on-able.
No chance tonight. So I returned to the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. But had acquired a new back pain from all the trying out the bed, and depression took over.
Carer Promise did the last two calls. During this, I didn’t move out of the c1966, £300 charity shop bought second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner.
Just laid there feeling as if I’d been given a pep-pill and failing to fall asleep at all! I must have been trying to sleep for about 10 hours. Rising at 06:00hrs, feeling rather grotty, suffering  worse than ever.

HUMPH!

TTFN!
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