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I made a deliberate mistake in this Ode; Ahem!
I wrote Further, instead of another word. Would
anyone like to guess what it should have been?
Deliberate mistake… I am a fibber!
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Much more out-of-it than with-it today.
Moments for sheer frustration, littered with strange, weird, eerie, unaccountable moments of ‘Soditisms’.
During these spasms, I was so high that nothing seemed to bother me in the least. But, they were short and rare and were usually followed by a Depression full of self-loathing, then a realisation that I am to blame for my past guilt. Then, the circle would start again.
I think I’ve mentioned these to the Doctor, but I’m not sure. Maybe not; I’ve not seen her for many months.
On the bright side, the 
throughout the day, added up to only four!
I left the hot water tap (faucet) running again and burnt the food in the oven. The eyes are terrible nowadays. Any distance and things seem to have another image above themselves. Like a shadow, but clear. I’m looking now through the balcony window, and all the houses look like they have two roofs.
The catheter is a lot less painful than yesterday, mind you. My coughing has also calmed down compared to last night. I’ve walked into nothing. Fair do’s, I’ve dropped the cutlery, saucepan, washing up bottle, picker-upperer, tablets and my pen (four times).
So, all in all, a typical day.
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Night pouch.
Medicationings.
My ankles look fine.
The first emptying of the day bag.
Opening the balcony windows.
Over the next five hours, the views remained similar.
I kept nipping out to take a view or two.
Between making a mess of this blog.
Gorgeous!
Wonderful.
Magnificent.
Wunderbar!
I was busying away and getting a little done.
Caregiver calls only confused me. After they left, I found it nearly impossible at times to get back to what I was working on, often veering off to the wrong project and getting deeper into a mind-muddle. Memory-Blanks were rampant. For some reason, I did not keep up with the memory notes on the pad. Now, so long later (Saturday A.M. started on this section), the photos help prompt me a little. Not many of them, either. Any slight disturbance, change whatever, and I was lost again. Sorry about this
Fifth Catheter Bag Emptying (I think).
Gave up computing. I was in a long-lasting period of haziness. But can recall Carer Christopher arriving.
Cheeky-Faced Chris. Hehe!
While talking, I remembered I’d left the sausages cooking in the oven… yet again!
I hastened hobblingly to the kitchen.
Got the mini sausages, which were not burnt too much, into the pan of BBQ beans and tomato sauce with chunky vegetables and stirred while rewarding them,
I ate up most of them with two brown baguettes.
I took this night view and got settled into the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus. But the mind would not let me rest enough to capture the bliss of sleep. Immediately started an attack of lambasting, self-hating, repeating so many things, wrong choices I’d made over the tears. Even an occasion that took place when I was just an ankle-biter, which I was not proud about doing… it was horrible being forced to listen to myself, listing and bringing 
back to mind the shame and self-disgust from the time all those so many years ago.
As I tossed and twisted, I felt the Catheter tube pulling on Little Inchie. I
realised then that I had not attached the Nocturnal Pouch yet. So, I did!
By the time I’d fumbled about to get the bags linked, my
& 
both went off simultaneously. Miraculously, bearing in mind the viciousness of the leg dance, I didn’t go over or tumble. I’ve not had a fall all week. 
. I may regret saying this later, Haha!
TTFNski each!
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gave way on me. The bum bounced down into the recliner, and I got an instant comment from Harold’s Haemorrhoids as they burst, bled and stung. Bad enough, you may think? This is where comedy came into the morning’s equation! I’d fallen on the TV remote, and there I was in the middle of cursing and verging on self-pity as the TV came on. That momentarily confused me, realised what had happened and got some kitchen roll in the Protection Pants, as I now had 
, in front, along with 
bleeding at 
the back! I lost the first hour of the day cleaning up and medicating. I Got the nocturnal catheter pouch off.
dawned. As I was metamorphosed into an old, miserable, g
, 
, 
or any of the ailments really
and or 
. The eyes are worse than ever now, and I’m sure I’ll have kicked the bucket before my turn comes for the operation. But, sorting youngsters out early is more vital. They have the prospect of living many years with their sight adjusted. We long in the tooth old things, must accept this.
room, put some Dettol Cream on my head, and got on with the waste bag sorting. A wet, warm sensation from the lower regions. I went back to the wet room to investigate.
released yesterday.
Throughout the day, the bleeding was far, even less than it is usually. Had a wash & shave.
Then checked the state of the ankles. No doubt that my 
was getting better bit by bit. 
are coming from remain a little rough and red. No pain when the shocks don’t come, and when they do hit, it wakes you if you’re sleeping every time! But the pain lasts for about two seconds, if that. 
is to 
blame.
As per usual, the end car parking turnaround area had its regular little bit of a mudslide in it again.
about the three times the bill was taken from the debits another time. She ran out of time today. 
I took these photos later. 
, I’d discover I’d been doing the blog, mopping the kitchen floor, or started cooking something while out of it. A 
swiftly, ASAP.
I gave up on the blogging
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But the meal was worth the hassle. 
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, the Asda delivery farce, Little Inchy, and the catheter tube painfully in disagreement all day long, and so many 
Very early morning view.
Porcelain Throne evacuation failure. Not only no release but no answers to the crossword. Tsk!
As I pottered about from the sink to the kettle back to the counter, I got the kettle on, went to the cupboard for the tea bag, took that and the mug to the kettle counter, and went to the fridge for the milk… I really thought my bad eyesight was fooling me at first when I dropped the spoon and looked down for it; there were trials of dripped blood all over the kitchen, some trodden on and smeared by my slippers. A closer inspection of the Little 
area revealed that blood was pouring out from near the catheter tube inserted, as it has been for over a year now in 
I cleaned up the kitchen and my body parts as best I could. Next, I was going to get a fresh pair of PPs Protection Pants) on. But what had happened in the kitchen that may have caused the problem dawned on me. I was taking the emptied catheter pouch with me as I went in and dropped it; I bent down to retrieve it rather sharpishly. That may have cracked the dried blood and allowed a follow-through? Hehe!
The delivery driver saw my predicament and took the food to the kitchen. Some were put on the floor near the sink…
Some on the kettle shelf…
The PPs on the cooker.
Bags on the floor.
Daffodils for the Carers on the draining board.
These are from a carrier I placed for photographing. I got things sorted and put away, but I could only see one of the two ordered packs of PPs and no kitchen towel. I kept looking around, searching. The email said they had been sent. An hour and four look-arounds later, I found them. They were in the hallway near the door, on the floor behind 
Wally. I took one of these out, asking the Carer to help me get into them later. I wanted to avoid bending.
The usual tiredness and weariness fell on me extra early this Tuesday. 
nocturnal nibbling, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus, initially failed. I tried the trick of putting the TV on to watch 
my favourite TV programme, ‘Heartbeat’. And it worked, and I went into bliss… Carer Chris arrived to wake me up, reluctantly, he said, with a big grin on his face. Hehe! 
I had to get up to empty the 
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I made the last call of the day. I was so out of it with the blessed, deep, comforting sleep. I can see now why the lad removed the diabetic socks earlier: to let me sleep on without getting up. Good on him! He sprayed the eye spray on me, making sure I had to close my eyes first. Drinkie, nibble, and off.
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04:00hrs: I woke full of life, contented and joyfully… Lying Git! 
Urine is even darker.
This is a terrible Kodak Tim kitchen view effort from Inchy. He tried two more, but they were worse. Haha!
While starting the blog off, out of the blue, the pain from Little Inchie and the point of the tube entering kicked off. No matter what I tried, the pain persisted. Even took some extra Codeine and Paracetamol, but no effect! It was so bad this time, and persistent with it. Later, I took the PPs off, but it made no difference. It’s wearing me down.
End car park view.
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I detected the smell of the burning oven chips! Got up and struggled with the pain from Little Inchie and carrying the night bag to the kitchen.
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Too well burnt even for me! I checked each one and rescued three of them to have itch the meal. I substituted some potato chips from a packet and put them on with the three rescued chips.
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Arrived and immediately noticed the pain I was in. He called someone and told me they thought it might be just an infection. Someone will call to look at it tomorrow. (We’ll see) Kind of him to bother.
Nearly falling over the forgotten, I’d got a night bag on the way to the wet room.
A bit messy.
I made up the waste bags into one large green one, and although I felt vague, the pains from Littler Inchie seemed less severe. Keep your fingers crossed!
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05:10hrs; Got up to get the ablutions done before the Carer arrived. A lousy ablution session… mind you, the evacuation was a good one. Hahaha!
Dark, too dark again.
The first one was fairish, the second warped.
The preshave medicationalisationing was a fiddly and, at times, painful experience. It was the most painful 
Ablutions were sorted, alarm wristlets and alert bands on, and my ear holes were olive oiled. I struggled to stop 
, Cream on the 
. Barrier Creamed all around 
. Then tended to the bruise from the INR blood drain. Doesn’t usually show up this bad
The feet & ankles were looking healthier.
Worst Ablution Session in a long time.
Took the made up bin gag to the front door.
Can you see a face in the carrier bag? Think of Red Dwarf’s Kryten’s face. I could see it. Hehe!
It was Sister Jane. Meridian Care had phoned her to see if my Caregiver had arrived yet.
What an amazing hue!
Despite the discomfort and sheer agony from little 
… I love this one. 
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Charged with murder and released on bail?
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I carried the nocturnal pouch with me as I tried to remove it. I accidentally tugged the tube as I released the valve for emptying and immediately felt the warm, wet feeling of blood in the PPs! I got it cleaned up. Then I sorted out the waste bags into one, ready for collection, and placed them near the front door of the 
flat.
After an hour or so on CorelDraw, uploading and resizing the Kodak Tim pictures, an email from Sainsbury’s came 
in. I went to the wet room and utilised the ever-popular. Once again, the evacuation failed, and after much urging and inner pushing, I gave up. Knowing there was possibly a gigantic torpedo in the queue that may need some help seeing the light of the WC basin, I made and drank a drink of an ‘Ease-it-along sachet’. 
An hour or so later, the J. Sainsbury order arrived. I did struggle a little getting the bags, one at a time, into the kitchen. Well, I did not struggle; I just took extra care not to catch the tubing in Little 
The bananas came all ready-bruised to save me the effort of dropping them, so it was kind of Sainsbury’s. I got some vegan Maryland cookies, passata sauce with 
Mediterranean vegetables, and drinks for the nurses and carers. I also got fresh fries; they may get cooked and tasted tonight, 
methinks. Maybe the Anya potatoes be
I got a big pack of the JO2 favourites for the treats shelf. They may last a week or more. The most popular of the drinkies on offer these are.
I also got a few of these pots of jelly in a new flavour. Not a good photo. (I’m good at doing these types, Hehe!) So you may not be able to read the label. They are… honestly, a Gin & Tonic Flavour, jelly! 
A little drizzle was spotted when I was cleaning the side of the cooker later on.
During the next half an hour, I got three parcels delivered.
ones, too! The second was socks, two
The third delivery was socks. Six pairs of the wrong type. Hehe! I’d made a great cock-up, mistake, error 
this order. As Carer Kara found out and told me yesterday. I thought I’d ordered Diabetic Bamboo socks. Kara pointed out that they were cotton ones. Boing! But it was too late for me to cancel. So then I proceeded to make yet another 
I took a shot of the end car park this afternoon. 
I decided to get something to eat first after closing down the computer.
sweet for my liking and crumbled too easily.
Not a chance of nodding off. I even tried the TV again, but no luck. 
Beats me, the car? The feet? The phone, yes. 
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Much too dark!
Made a mug of Glengettie.
Iceland delivery arrived.
Not a lot. Because Iceland had three items unavailable, this brought down my total cost to just below the minimum charge that is required for me to get a free delivery. The swines charged me nothing for delivery… but a £4 for a small order charge!
Humph!
Blimey filled up again!
Front car park at the flats.
Delivery. Toilet brush in a square box
Needing assembly.
I got this photo from the web.
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Several times today, I experienced moments of quietism, almost mysticism, involving quiet contemplation. On another day, I may have called them mind-blanks or PN Seizures. But not today! I think I enjoyed them. Not that I am aware of what they contained, but it is a sensation of, well, a degree of self-satisfaction and a rare understanding of things. No, I never felt an understanding of things before!
04:10hrs: The nocturnal catheter colour was much improved. Also, 
was much less than it has been.
A terrible photo of the morning view.
Mostly liquid sludge!
The right leg was looking good again. Of course, 
… and…
The Pictures folder suddenly went into full-screen mode! I imagine I hit the wrong combination on the keyboard. (
Straight ahead.
Then, I took a shot of the Cannabis-Growers road.
Flash Speed Mop utilised.
They are crap!
Mind you, they did pick up some of the dirt.
Gorgeous afternoon clouds
Found this attached to an email.
As it got a little later, I just couldn’t resist taking more snaps of the clouds.
I was well into the land of nod and without any of the awakenings, 
left me alone, too. But the Carer came in to wake me instead. Hahaha! I was not compos-mentis and forgot to ask him to remove the socks and attach the nocturnal catheter pouch. I found out in the morning that I had very dark urine and an overflowing bag, and with the socks on, the shocks from both ankles kept waking me up. Humph!
The sky looked like it had been painted.
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Even I got this one. Haha!
What a magnificent view!
Three last shots as the sunset fell.
Farewell!
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Now this shot one was not on the AWOL list.
A shot to the right from the kitchen.
A shot to the right from the kitchen.
The wee-wee kept changing colour, and the pouch suddenly filled up a few times.
Carers Health Checks of late, returns
A blue shade sky tonight.
By gum, it was a good un!
Gobble, slurp… gone! Hehe!
Took this view as I washed the pots.
He put some cream on once again, coming up with ankle lesions on both ankles/legs.
Not good, this, at all!
I did find them, but it took me a lot longer than 11 seconds… nearer 11 minutes. Haha!
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Front car park, from the kitchen window.
Misty morning.
Late morning, I think.
It looked like the road resurfacing was all done.
Afternoon or teatime sky.
I missed the sunset due to a mind-blank.
Most disappointing taste, too!