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Taken about 23:20hrs.
With my constant waking up and struggling to get back to sleep, I decided to get up and try to take snaps of the Goose Fair lights coming from the rides. Undoubtedly, one of the most terrible efforts of nocturnal photography that I have ever made a mess of!
Well, all but the last one.
But that one was not zoomed in, and I had the window to lean on to try and keep Shuddering Shoulder Shirley from shaking me about. Nothing is going right with my plans and designs. There is no progress, no light at the end of the tunnel.
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I woke up and fell asleep. Then I did the same thing 20 minutes later. On about the fifth wakening, I forced myself out of the bed. I battled to get the Nocturnal Catheter Pouch released from the day bag and was disappointed to see how dark the urine was. It seemed about as Dark as my incoming depressions.
I left the pouch on top of the bed so the caregiver could see it and give me a colour rating figure for the NHS Blood Pressure record.
I changed the ancient calendar clock to today’s setting. They were manual when they were made, which I imagine was in the early 1970s.
It was actual Goose Fair weather out there, as I took a photo of the fog and drizzle falling. Later in the day, a rain warning was issued.
As I turned from the kitchen window, my limited anger brewed! The annoyance was aimed only at me. I’d left the hot water tap running yet again! So, it is more hassle as I’ll have to get the ablutions done much later when the water heater kicks in. Oh, lucky me! Idiot!
Carer Richard came in. The lad was on his crutch, and it was the end of his shift, so he was paid with his leg and ankle, which were all strapped up again. He sorted the medications for me and then checked the medical drawer stocks. I’d hoped to remember to ask him to check the us-by-date on the filled Enoxaparin hypodermics, but as usual, I forgot to. Frustrating!
I started the blog, but I encountered difficulty after the problem. The memory messages kept coming up. Inevitably, CorelDraw froze on me while opening! I had to unplug everything to close it down, which meant getting back on, which took three times as long as usual. I’m still unsure if I chose the proper actions when prompted because I couldn’t understand or recognise what many offered me or meant.
CorelDraw restarted without apparent faults, and I started uploading photographs from last night. The bitmap editor was working okay. Then, the computer would not send the graphics or photos to the WordPress gallery. More short-on-memory messages came up on the screen.
I went into the recycle bin and found only a few items in it after yesterday’s Ccleaning. But I still couldn’t get the graphics to the file. I turned everything off again and rebooted. No good!
So I tried Ccleaner again. I was confused when it offered to continue, and it told me that icons and plug-ins would be put in sleep mode if I continued. I bravely clicked the ‘Continue’ button, but I felt nervous. Had I done the wrong thing or not? Maybe, perhaps?Â
I’ve asked everybody if they can help me get a computer man to add memory to the machine. I’ve phoned and asked three engineers, and none have responded positively, but I am positive I can’t cope with things.
Carer Chloe did the midday call, and I told her about my need to contact the Doctor to see if the two injection appointments could be done together and, more urgently, if they could arrange a home visit instead. I know I’m just adding to the nurse’s and Caregivers’ duties, and I feel guilty. I’ll also need help arranging an Easy-Link there and back home if they can’t do home visits for Saturday’s injections. Chloe did her best, but I think she was on a queuing list and did not have the time to spend helping. She’d got other clients to visit. Chloe said she’d ring later and let me know. ♥ Bless her. I’ll see how things pan out. But without help, I’m lost. I’ll just not have the injections.
A call came from the DVT Warfarin Anticoagulation Department at the QMC. I love that title. Haha! It was from Nurse Hristina, who advised me that she would call in the morning to take my blood. Another treasure! ♥
The rain has lightened a smidgen, but it is still falling. I poddled onto the balcony to take a shot of the Citrus Way end car park’s mudslide coming down from Woodthorpe Grange Park. I imagine that the constant flooding may damage the flats’ foundations. But I couldn’t give a toss, as I feel today. Utterly frustrated and depressed with the lack of action and help with any 
problems being actioned on. Yes, I’m sinking spiritually, and stupid thoughts maturing! A frustration like never before. Oh, the rains got a little livelier lately.Â
Now, If I could get a little livelier…Ha-Ha! The rain is now back to a pitter-patter, but does it matter to me? No!
I’ve just been to check if the hot water had hotted up enough for a shower and shave with all the associated attached duties; teggies, medicationalisationings, catheter rearranging, and getting back on, along
with the dreaded getting the fresh PPs on. The water is heating up, but I’ll give it another hour to ensure it will be hot enough to shave in. I’ll have a go on WP comments and Reader. Not many of either on WP yet; I’ll hoover the room and dive in for the ablutionings. Back in a bit… well, two hours, that’s how long it takes me on average.
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I’m back! The hot water was not warm enough for a shower, so I did the shaving first. I may add that it was a cutless shave, too! My first 
of the day! I searched for what must have been my fifth one today and found the 
cream. number two was engaged! The closest thing to a miracle was getting the fresh PPs on afterwards and reading them for dressing. It must have taken me;Â wait for it; it took just three minutes to get them on! Honestly! I barely felt pain when I lifted my left leg to aim the foot at the leg opening. Number three!
It was a bit nippy without the socks on, but the slippers had a lining. So I put on the heavy Pancho, or should that be a Poncho? Grammarly seems happy with both. Ah, it just told me that Pancho is not or is the wrong word. Now it’s changed, and Pancho is accepted with a capital P. Gawd! Grammarly is more of a ditherer than I am in making its mind up. It might be a town? (Pancho). I’ll look it up on Google. The answer: Pancho is the nickname for Francisco. Poncho is Alfonso’s nickname, and neither has anything to do with the garment’s origin. I h
ad to read that a few times to understand it. Hehe! Well, here’s a selfie of me in my Poncho at the computer.
After starting the computer, the brightness kept changing of its own accord. It did it about six times, but it seems to have stopped playing up now. Also, the CorelDraw screen suddenly disappeared! Luckily, I’d done no work on it, so I closed it down and opened it again!
My depression, which had been helped due to the excellent 
, dawned again.
Back to normal!
I’m waiting for the teatime medications, Carer. Then I can make summat to eat. I’ll do the evening BP and a quiz graphic for the blog tomorrow.
Carer Promise could not find any night Catheter Pouches. We did a long search for them. All I could recall… or thought I could, was Promise opening a new bag last week, and instead of taking one out, took the lot out. At the time, I was sure this happened. But our mutual search proved negative. Now, with the tiny day pouches that are far too small, I had a problem. Promise called the Carers office and departed, saying he would be back. He returned and attached a 2nd-day bag to the current-day bag. Although both were small, they still overreached the floor when I stood up. This meant I’d have to bend down to empty it during the night. He added that a Carer would call on me a few times overnight to ensure things were okay. This gave me more confidence, and I dubiously thanked him, and off he went.Â
Naturally, no night carer called to see if things were alright, but I didn’t think they would.
Lamburgers and potatoes with sauce, eating the lamb in wholemeal bread sandwiches. I dropped the pot of lemon yoghourt, it burst open. By then, I was so low with all the problems on my mind that I could get no help with them, and I saw no solutions to put right.
Computer, camera, Catheter night bags, getting to the Doctor’s visit and back again, seizures, glaucoma. Toothache Tiffany, and Ordering medical attachments.
The realisation was that my memory, clarification, cognisance skills and arithmaphobia, thus, these problems and arithmaphobia ensured that my confidence and depression were going to go away or be cured.
I am at my lowest ebb ever.
I can’t rely on my memory, and my body and mind go off on their own routes. Because I can still use the computer, albeit taking so much longer and being error-ridden and maddening. I sense that people are suspicious of my ailments. This may be why help is not forthcoming with my problems. I now think my precious moments of clarity and upbeatness are not good. But at least for however long these feelings appear, I stop worrying. Â
I’d love to take another assessment at the madhouse in Nuthall. Typing this bit reminded me of the current problems with getting to see the doctor.
The cycle of worries started again.
As I lay in bed, I had dark thoughts. But having to keep checking on the two small catheter pouches broke my thoughts of things!
Someone could show me how, where, and when to order the pouches, straps, pads, etc. from. Write it down so I can remember details and timings. Inform me when I can and cannot request a lift from Easy-Link. That would help. Losing Kara was my biggest disappointment. She would come and sort things, file them, and list them, and now I can’t remember the phone numbers for various sections. I can’t even get in touch with my bank. She knew all about my bank accounts and contacts; she was a brilliant blessing for me in more ways than one.
I can’t blame her for moving to the Carers Office job. She’ll be great at that, too. No doubt the pay will increase, so I can understand her decision. ♥
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OH, it was 4 differences, Sorry
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Cheers!
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It was another night of waking up with a jerk and jump. Each time I spurted awake, I could hear the noise from Goose Fair, which is over a mile away from the flats. It wasn’t until I woke again at 02:00hrs that the cacophony began to die down. But the jumping awake kept on for a while longer. 
I removed the nocturnal catheter pouch and took this terrible photo of it. It’s not one of the better ones, but the need for the Porcelain Throat developed as I took it. So I took the pouch to empty into the wet room with me and got seated on the plastic, just in time! The flow started and came. And came, then came a little bit more! This morning, there was a definite increase in 
the acidity of the smell. Phew! 
I went into the kitchenette and checked the faucets, fridge, and cooker; all were okay.
Then, it started again with the computer. CorelDraw first. I lost hours when it froze and had to reboot. But when it began, it froze again! A window came up asking what I was doing when it crashed. But it didn’t let me write anything before it disappeared! So, with my fingers crossed, I had to shut everything down and reboot afresh. A fat lot of good that did. It loaded up so far, but without one of the toolbars showing, it froze again! Now, I was as near to angry as I’d been for ages.
And the antique battery clock thingy is still working. I haven’t dropped it yet. I’m looking for signs of things improving,
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I took this sky view earlier in the day, but somehow, I missed posting it on the blog.
A simple meal for a simple imitation man.
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Really, the only ailments that ruled the day were in the first place:
, she was well in the lead. She must have given way at least ten times up to now. Second came:
. But the rather expensive pain spray did keep her partially under control. But, it may have broken the heart of the Bank Manager. I’m expecting more emails and texts from him. And thirdly:Â 
She enjoyed a rare day and night-long ball with some of her best efforts to date. Not all of them were really bothersome. She would cunningly, repeatedly give me between 3 to 6 mini strikes up to the knee from the ankle, then drop a cracker that would reach up as far as my groin!  
missed. As I emptied the catheter nocturnal pouch, the need for the 
The new to me, ancient clock was adjusted,
Late morning shot.
An hour or so later, I took another.
The £599.00 /100 ml Toothache pain 
The clouds began to clear.
Carer Joanne (or was it Carer Shaq or Perfect?) put on my socks for me after I’d done the ablutions, at long last. I was still down, and the computer was not working correctly again, and my heart sank.
I was checking the two ready-made meals I hoped to have later on in the same dish. I snapped them. 
A bit of brightness getting through.
A delectable double-dinner!
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Another morning of waking up with a hint… not a big one… maybe just an inkling of a suggestion of nearly a mock contentment! And this after being wickedly broken up overnight by Thought Storming Steve, Electric Shocking Sherida, and a vicious attack of phenomenal power and length by Shuddering Shoulder Shirley! I can’t explain why, but I suspect she enjoyed it!
I should have been feeling shattered, done-in, miserable
sank in. It was a Billy Fury song, ‘Cross My Heart,’ released in 1959 on the Decca label
I went into the kitchen to check the taps, fridge doors, and oven, which were not left on, and all was shipshape. Then I went onto the balcony to take a snap of the overnight rain 
and mud that had slid down into the end car park. Then took a picture of nearby houses and part of the tree copse. I could smell the petricore through the cracks in the windows in the wind. Carer Maryham arrived just as I was in the wet room, about to have a wash and struggling with a nasty, mind-blowing seizure. She was very understanding and helpful. Bless her. I know she was relaxing me. But details of the next 20 minutes were minimal. Yet I returned to as near normal as I ever will do, and the memory from then on was much better. She helped me with a computer problem that 
arose earlier, I think. Thanks, Gal! ♥
 I soon realised why I thought I was doing well when I restarted Grammarly, which had stopped working, and it found 76 errors on its list!
have no idea what happened. When Carer Seun arrived, I felt cheery but vague. I recall her putting on the diabetic socks for me. She didn’t like the growth on the ankle, but there were no extra pains from that area, apart from Electric Shocking. Sherida started stinging again, but not badly. She got a call on her mobile and rushed off
Nice gal, I’ve not seen her before.
When I hobbled to the door, a box was on the floor in the outer hall. It was from the Low-Cost Food Shop. Some tasty nibbles were delivered, including Twiglets, Jacobs cheese and pickle biscuits.
I snapped two more shots, this time to show how the high-up-in-the-sky pictures showed blue coming through while the lower area was dark.
Oh, I forgot! I took this photo earlier. While the sun was getting partially through.
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balance was all shot. Of the first ten minutes, I don’t recall a lot. However, I gained a modicum of awareness after emptying the nocturnal catheter 
pouch and taking the BP Readings. I was back in the Hyper range again. The temperature had fallen by six points! Cartilage Chloe started to play up, and has not stopped since, as I hastened to the Porcelain Throne.
later made me drop the pouch I’d just opened. You can imagine the state of play.
massaging of the Phorpain Gel on the Cartilage Chloe and Arthur Itis’s knees. Getting the 
fresh PPs on was the hardest bit of the whole operation. Had I gone into detail about the mess, I might have lost readers; that’s how bad it was! I decided a mug of tea would go down well.
After cleaning the wet room properly, I took this snap from the kitchen window. I also made up the waste bags and left one big one near the front door. Finally, I put the kettle on.
Then Carer Shaquille arrived, and I was about to take the tea into the main room for a relaxing rest and sip of Glengettie tea. 
I took another snap of the miserable view on offer.
I’d traipsed bits into the main room and hallway cleaning up earlier, so I got the vacuum out. From the look of it, I got it wrong with the camera again.
Two tomatoes for tonight’s meal… although it looks more like it will be the morning’s meal, judging by my lack of progress on the blog, Humph!
Still no rain, and it seems to be getting lighter? There’ll be a reason for this, but I have absolutely no know what it might be. Hehe!
The clouds look beautiful as far as I’m concerned.
And Carer Jennifer came in, giving me a little dance as she did. Hehe! She told me she was here for the cleaning session
good job, too, with a pleasant manner.
The clouds had dwindled. Just a few lint ones that seemed to be moving quickly in the sky… well, they would, I suppose, as opposed to moving quickly in the canal? Hahaha!
After a while, I thought I saw lightning through the curtains. So, I investigated.
Drank it and dunked three biscuits. I lost heart with blogging; that’s never happened before.
I’ll have to catch up with the blog in the morning.
Arrived.
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had fallen off of the safety bar that was out of reach and needed retrieving. I found myself swinging the legs from the bed I was on top of, then getting a toe-stubbing and banging a knee against the overbed table that pissed-off 
… And the 
slipped and tugged 
give a toss about things! 
I straightened the bedclothes and limped to empty the pouch. (A number six on the NHS colour 
Richter scale card) And (still singing Elvis’s songs, the bits I could remember the words to (I hummed the rest). I decided to have my morning allowance of one mug of tea
I combined the kitchen and front room bins into one and put them near the door to take to the chute later. When I returned to the kitchen, I found the tea had gone cold, so I
so I checked everything in there. Oh, dear, I filled another bag with outdated items. Tsk! But even this didn’t phase me. I got a summoning to visit the 
The intercom sounded; it was the Asda order arriving. This made me realise that it was only 06:10 hrs. What flipping time did I get up feeling all perkily? 
I got the bags inside and started sorting things out. They had sent all the bread ordered, which was good, 3 small sliced milk roll loaves, and a bag of mini wholemeal rolls.
Sorted the fresh stuff for the fridge. Some reet-treats here! Red spring onions, a tomato multi-type pack, 4 Lemon & Lime yoghourts, a lemon mousse, and two lemon curd yoghourts! Marmite-flavoured cheese, lamb patti, a BBQ-flavoured pork pie, and a cornish pastie to boot! I shall eat well tonight! I’ll have 
none of the meat, I’ve still got a lot of the Sokolow seasoned bacon to use, and I’m not going to waste it… I’m going to eat it! Hahaha! Oh, I forgot, I thought I’d made a mistake with the Asda order. The above medication arrived with it. Turned out it was a Freebie. Later on, Carers Sham and Sam said they’d ask if anyone was interested in having it.
Hristina 
roof.
I did the morning BP check rather late in the day, I know. At least the SYS was a lot lower. The pulse was the highest for ages, as was the temperature.
I found this photo on the on the SD card. I probably took it this morning. Memory? Me? 
By gum, the sun nearly got through late afternoon.
Nice to see the sun.
I cooked smoked belly pork and beans. Two wholemeal rolls will follow. I added liquid smoke and some basil-flavoured passata to the pan. Delicious!
A poor last shot of the day.
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Everything was okay in the kitchen. I did think it looked a little dark out there this morning. When I turned the light off for a better look
Then I realised I’d left the nocturnal pouch in the wet room
was not saving anything with a new name. Oh, dear, now I’m
, as I lost my balance and grabbed a hold of the nearest solid support available; the sink and the mop is now in two pieces. 
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Tail-end of the lightning storm.
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gave way, and I was on the floor in no time. Hitting my shoulder and neck on the way down. He hastened to get me up again. No need for any assistance; it was only pain & loss of balance. I’ve had much worse.
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We were having a heyday with me. These persisted from when I got up to when I 
; As for him, he didn’t give me a break at all; he’d moved in permanently. 
Too dark!
Not sure when this was taken. Not many photos were taken this morning.
Presumably, he took these before and after the ablutions. The old man got up so late that he had to do them late, around 17:00 hrs. But why did he? 
Evening snap.
Two ready-made meals in one large bowl!
Of course, I couldn’t; the lightning was gone when I hit the take-button, it had gone.
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On the right here is an admirer of Mr Clough, ‘Cloughie’. It’s Inchy. Taken this morning… with him actually smiling! Yes! Well, very nearly, anyway. That’s a rarity to be seen nowadays for the old fart to be doing. I imagine the old man was either high on drugs or Dementia Doreen was toying with him. Either way, the poor sod did not know how the day was going to go, obviously. Had his EQ or Alto Ego Inchie warned him, there would have been no smile on his face! He may well have been spitting blood & crying, too. 
I didn’t get around to this blog until 17:20hrs.
A little lighter today?
The most frustrating evacuation of the week!
cream was clearly visible in the almost black escaped mass.  
, followed within seconds b
It was only for a few seconds; it was as if I’d blinked and woken to find the pink spray bottle lying on the floor and leaking! Not a good start to the day! Then again, I should be used to them by now! But for some reason, I was riled by this Accifauxpas. Even more rileder after all that bending down had got 
misty morning. I stayed that way all day. However, I took this unintentional picture of the window ledge first. Clever that, how I didn’t realise. Ha-ha!
take the morning view.
Carer Maryham arrived and tried to ring the Community Nurses to order more day and night bags for me. But I’d given her the wrong number. She’d run out of time then, so she had to scoot off. She said she would ring them later and let me know how it went. I haven’t heard anything. She may be doing it tomorrow because I did tell her I had some left to use, but I’d like to keep the stocks up now that Kara is not calling. That was good of her.♥ She noticed me holding my arm and looked at it, taking a photo of it. More about that later.
I got back to the blog work. There was a massive cock-up, which began then!
I supposed they were triggered by the tension I felt. I couldn’t continue with the manual clear-out. After each seizure, I was lost, confused as to what I was up to or had already done. 
Evening photo.
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