Inchie Today: Monday 4th August 2025

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A fair young maiden granted a date with Inchie,
‘Yes’, she said. Inchy thought in ambiguity,
A leg-pull? A tease? Inchie felt uneasy,
She spoke posh, not Nottinghamese,
Her legs, bum & breasts, I like these…
Surely this date would be paradise?
If I get more than a cuddle, that’d be nice,
She didn’t turn up, but sent her niece,
Big, solid gal, my type, her name was Bernice,
Long brown hair, strong and solidly heavy,
Within minutes, I knew she was my cup of tea,
No fears of riding pillion, at the back of me,
She grabbed for support, all over my body,
Her grip and wandering hands, happily…
Covered more than my midriff and knee!
She giggled and groped me incessantly,
We stopped at a roadside mobile noshery,
I went to get her a beeburger and a mug of tea,
We chatted, and she said she was a nursing auxiliary,
Gave me a kiss, said she’s off for a pee…
Patting Little Inchy, she shot off to the lavatory,
She didn’t return, never saw her again, sadly,
I searched but couldn’t find her, a worry,
Little Inchy was no longer acting accretionally,
When I went to pay for our burgers and tea,
Thinking back to her groping on the back of the Suzuki,
I realised she’d nicked my wallet & money!
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05:10hrs: I woke and tried to get back to sleep. But it was no good, so I decided to get the ablutions done early before a Carer arrives. 
Getting down to release the nocturnal catheter pouch was as painful as it has ever been. Three reasons for that: 1. The catheter tube is cruelly pulling on Little Inchy. 2. Bending brought on Dizzy Denis & Balance-Loss-Belinda. 3. The swollen Cartilage Chloe and Arthur Itis joined forces; they were so painful and bloated on the left knee. I got the bag freed, but am concerned about the loose release valve on the day pouch. I dribbled yesterday, when I assume I caught the longer lever, which has a 50% wobble. Checked the kitchen for safety, and went off to the Porcelain Throne evacuation. Trotsky Terence was in charge again. This time, dark brown, gooey and messy. The cleaning-up time was longer than the evacuation time, yet again.

I washed my dandies, emptied the urine pouch, and went into the kitchen to bag things. Taking this scene of the morning view. Not as pretty as yesterday’s. No pink in it at all.

Back to the wet room. Carried out the Ablutions and Medicating. The only real problems were Cartilage Chloe threatening to give way, and poor Little Inchy’s Fungal Lesion bleeding… or rather, applying the ointment to stop the bleeding. 
I’ve had much worse sessions overall, though.

Back in the kitchen, I put the waste bin bag into the big bag. Taking another shot of the same view from the kitchenette window.

In the balcony room, I changed the calendar clock and inserted the hearing aids into my earholes. And I realised I’dn’t altered the month; it was still July showing. I’d have thought someone would have noticed it. I got in a pickle last month with using the dates from this clock. Hehehe! I asked Ejaz to keep an eye on it. 

I popped out on the balcony, nearly taking a tumble as Cartilage Chloe went on me. To take a snap or two.

The first one taken straight ahead, zoomed on the dwellings, drug dealers and growers, muggers, pickpockets and unemployed, immigrants, scroungers, drug gangs, freed burglars, murderers & child molesters on parole. But I’d sooner live here than anywhere near the biggest crook, liar, and unprincipled, corrupt, immoral, unscrupulous, dishonest, evil-intentioned, dishonourable, splenetic, nefarious, fiendish, detestable, deceitful, insincere, criminal, unethical, miscreant, and merciless, debased, ruthless, heartless, sepulchral, gut-churning, sick-making, murderer-freeing ex-barrister, Labour party principles destroying, apostate, reprobate, Herr ‘backhander-taking, disabled voters bankrupting, pensioner and farmer killing,’ Starmer.
I just thought I’d like to mention my views.

The 2nd snap of Citrus Walk’s end car parking area. And the parking on the chevrons by the little red car. Haha!

I started blogging and was doing reasonably well for an hour or so.
Carer Ejaz arrived. He issued the medications. Then got the diabetic socks fitted for me. During which I felt a sharp pain in the area of the right leg. This was followed by several small electric shocks shooting up the leg. I asked him to pull the sock down to have a look. He said some liquid is leaking through the skin. Ejaz applied barrier cream to it. We noticed after, and a small piece of skin was on the carpet, just an inch or so. 

I asked him to put some Phorpain Gel in the cartilages. This seemed to ease them a smidge, but they still kept threatening to fail on me.
The left cartilage was still swollen. And the unmistakable pain from Arthur Itis joined in.
Little monkeys!

A few more hours on the blog, but now I’m making the daftest of errors, costing me ages to spot and put right. Well, I think I got most of them.

A District Nurse came in, made me jump as well, as there was no door chime pressed. I think the gal was in a hurry. It was the same lady as last time.
She checked my rear end and reported it was much less red and on the mend. 🤎 She took a look at the leaking Lymphorrhea leg and deemed it a scratch from Ejaz putting the socks on, which should be no bother, but she took a photo of it. Bless her.

I took a snap from the kitchen of the windows. I forecast that it will be raining soon. Arthur Itis coming on is a sign of that. Back to the front room, and took another snap from the computer desk… well, the 1963-built, falling to pieces, tatty, scuffed, Hopewell’s E-Plan Sideboard, with the doors falling off, to be more precise. Haha!

Ten minutes later, the howling winds and rain started. They are still here two hours later. I went onto the balcony later to take some photos.
The wheelchair was soaked, as were the four and three-wheeled walkers! The gaps between the windows were how the rain got in. Again, it was coming from the East. The rain, I mean. The wind seemed to be churning in from all directions. Howling again. The rain is now worse than ever, and the wind seems to have died down a smidge. At least it’s not so noisy.
Huh, minutes later, the wind was back. Blowing the trees and branches around as if they were made of paper.
It’s the wildlife I feel sorry for. 

Ejaz just returned for a quick check-in call. He took a photo on his mobile, they have a great camera, of birds battling to keep their young from being blown out of the nest. I imagine many would have been at the height of the storm. Poor things.

The wind seems easier now, but the rain is filling the balcony up, and I can’t lift the broadwalks.

I went to the kitchen to sort out what meal to have. And the rain had stopped. So I went into the other room, grabbed Kodak Tim 2, and returned to take a snap of the sunshine. But no. The rain had started again. So I took shots of the rain from inside. One from the left window, and the second one from the right window.
I got some potatoes into the oven, and the rain had stopped again, along with the wind. Methinks maybe we might get a rainbow shortly. I put the photos onto the computer, and nipped back to check the potatoes.

Carer Ejaz did the medical call. Waking me up to go to the intercom to admit him. I asked him to take off the diabetic socks during this call instead of the last. Which he did. I keep falling asleep and getting woke up to let Ejaz in. Hehehe!

Meal of the day

I went to get the pots washed and took this snap of the sunset.

I fell blissfully asleep again.

Woken again to go to the intercom to admit Ejaz for his final call of the day. No need to remove the socks, of course, just has some Peptac. Ejaz checked the safety of the kitchen & wet room, and was off within 4 minutes. It was lovely for me not to delay him for once. Still tired out, I got down in the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, eyesore-horrendously grungy, disease-fermenting second-hand, beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner.
But this time, Sweet Morpheus did not arrive. It was fitful dozing off and jumping awake for hours. I gave up and got up at 03:30hrs.

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Cheers & all the best!
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Inchy Today: Friday 18th July 2025

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Ponder the nature of the beast, at its best.
Disposition, personality, temperament, avidest…
It’s bodgiest, boggiest, boldest, bolshiest,
Briefest, brightest, briskest, bristliest,
Crookedest, crossest, crudest, cruellest,
Care needed to identify its cunningest,
You’ll be obliged to despise and detest,
Identify his traits, lies and falseness,
Gracelessness, gimmickiest, at his glibbest,
At his dishonestest, sneakiest, & sleeziest,
Danger in this concealed recreantest,
Dangerous at his dorkiest, this dweebiest!
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A bit darker.

Oddly blue morning sky.

The calendar clock changed.

Worth mentioning (just about);
1. Blood-Test Appointment arrived on Monday.
2. A Community Nurse visited and put on new plaster for Lymphoedema Leslie on the leg. Said she would be back on Monday or Tuesday to check it.
3: Ten minutes later, the plaster on Lymphoedema Leslie’s leg fell off.
4: Carer Mirza, put another plaster on Lymphoedema Leslie’s leg for me.
5: Ten minutes later, the plaster on Lymphoedema L
eslie’s leg fell of again.
6: I got the old plaster back on and wound tape over the top of it.
7: Carer Ejaz did a body check, and ointmentated the wound on my left hand.

8: Text message from the Red Cross, a technician will be calling next Tuesday. I think it will be about the wheelchair? Just guessing here.
9. Email referring to the neurology surgery clinic: they will be sending an assessment logistics form to be filled in and returned, and confirming the November appointment at the Neurologic Clinic, 1st floor, Leengate Clinic. They recommend bringing a Carer along with me. 
10. Email from the Dentist, with the usual threats of financial loss and charges if I fail to attend next Thursday’s appointment, or am late arriving. They also suggested I bring a Carer with me.
11. I found I had run out of money. I need to speak with Carer Ejaz to see if I can stop by an ATM on the way to the dentist. This means we won’t have time to do the laundry, cleaning, or financial checks. I anticipate getting into a mess next week with no clean clothing, and even filthier flat to live in, and a call from the bank manager.
12. Aha! A good one! Carer Mizra has got the ringtones on the new phone to change! Much louder. I can hear when anyone calls, now!

Food Prepping!
Hehehe!
Very Tasty!

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Despite today’s problems, Great!
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Inchy: Tue 1st July 2025. Farcical Day

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FOR TODAY
When they come to fit my unwanted smart-meter…
They’ll have to cut off the power,
I’ll need to reset the shower & hot water?
Most worryingly, my computer,
Reset the TV, playbox, & router,
The panic/assistance alarm 
speaker,
Two landline telephones connected to the ether,
Showing my electrical ignorance & Naïveté,

Time for panic, worry & and thinking waywardly,
Fear, depression, frustration, concern, & misery,
Trying to find & adapt to feel hopefully,
Will I cope with Whoopsiedangleploppery?
Now, as I type, I’ve got amblyopy,
Caused by bewilderment, fear & perplexity.

District Nurses tended to the Lymphorrhoea Leslie,
Thought the leg was doing well, ideally,
But the right foot was still in agony,
Thanked them, sadly, they went away.
They were up to their necks in it, and very busy! 💟

Still awaiting the call from Neurology,
And the mystery parcel from UPS, hopefully, for me,
The kind Kaftan washing lady, 🌺
The nurse, to take blood, Warfarin for the DVT,

Awaiting the Smart Meter, fretfully…
I wound myself up dyspeptically,
Forded into having one, I disagree,
British Gas is acting so oligarchically,
But there’s no option, it’s not discretionary,
This bugs an already pissed-on Inchie!
Concern & fear of their cutting the electricity,
Put Duodenal Donald into declivity,
Anne Gyna’s started showing new activity,
Do I consider British Gas derogatory?
Absobloodylutely!

I opened the balcony doors and windows last night before I settled into the hospital bed; it was flipping well hot in the flat. A bad night, as per usual, disturbed repeatedly for the usual reasons. The need of the Porcelain Throne, each time I nodded off, I’d jump awake within minutes. Then, a couple of my famous “Worry-Bug” episodes. I’d made up a bottle of water for overnight from the fridge, so it was cold for a while anyway. But WBW (Worry-Bug-William) wondered if I’d turned off the taps and closed the fridge door, so I just had to struggle out of bed and into the kitchen to check. All was okay. I got back into bed, determined to get and stay asleep!
Minutes later, WBW was concerned again. Had I turned off the taps in the Porcelain Throne room? 
I think it took away my depression & worries of what would happen this morning with all the callers due, at least temporarily. I’d not left the taps running, but I had left the light on. This brought to mind the unnecessary, unwanted, and unneeded electricity meter that the Oligarchs are putting in anyway. 
That set me off worrying about reconnecting the computer, phone, alarm, router, and so on. 
Yet another crappy night with a pathetic amount of sleep. I plumped into the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibbling, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, catheter-tube-trapping recliner. But it does come in damned handy to use to drag myself up after a tumble, trip or fall. Around 04:30hrs, still no sleep and with
kicking off, I gave up and got up. At least, although not on top form concentration-wise, and dog tired with the attentions of , starting to grumble, still, it gave me time before the callers come calling to do A good start, as I got into the wet room…

Somehow, suddenly wobbled, and down I went, hitting my chin on the WC raising bar! But, I only went down on one knee, and  . I was able to claw my way back up on my legs using the sink and basin. Heroically, I pressed on with utilising the .
A messier affair than yesterday’s! Clean thing up, and boldly ventured to start shaving… yes, even after all the blood loss from my previous shave, I showed no fe
ar. Okay, ! I thought I was being so careful;
 However, by the time I’d finished shaving, I’d got three cuts, and I spotted I’d got crimped red marks on my chin. A real mystery how that appeared. Unless it was from the contact made with the sink during my initial tumble? Medicated reachable area in need of it. No rushing, because I knew I wouldn’t have time to post on the blog, and it was still early. (I didn’t realise that I was going to get on this blog, then)

Carer Ejaz arrived, spotted the markings and cuts on my face. And told me to buy an electric razor. Ejaz performed a body check and massaged Cetraben cream on the areas I couldn’t reach. The back and feet, for me. The swelling in the legs had decreased, as had the swelling in the feet, but not by as much. I still couldn’t get the slippers on. Ejaz forced them onto my feet for me. Hehe!

Still awaiting the installation of the oligarch’s electricity meter.

Received some treatment from two district nurses. 

By 15:00hrs, the oligarchs, neurologist, INR nurse,  and the Catheter Nurse had not arrived.  
So, I set about starting this blog.

Expecting an arrival from any one of them at any time. Silly me!

Oh, I did take a few photos. I’ll see if I can get them to load into CorelDRAW.

Late morning view.

Today’s arranged visits. Hahaha!

Put the TV on when I started this blog.

Still awaiting the arrival of the people installing the oligarch’s electricity meter. 

No seizures at all, as far as I could tell?

Still awaiting the installation of the oligarch’s electricity meter.

Bootiful!

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– – MESSY UNPLANNED DAY – –
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Inchy Today: Wednesday 30th April 2025

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Our
intentions may well be admirable,
But are they needed and desirable?

If they happen to be altruistical?
Are the benefits given physical or ethereal?
Endurable, sustaining or apothegmatical?
Will this incite the recipient to turn greedful?
I don’t want to appear hyperbolical,
After all, I’m fallible and infeasible,
Arguing over things, possibly mental,
fear of numbers, I love anything anecdotal,
Still working out the meaning of biopsychosocial,
Calculations and maths, to me, are cryptical,
Logic, commonsense, I often find chimerical.
Seizures can sometimes make me feel extrinsical,
Leaving me feeling depressed and inimicable,
Things I did 78 years ago are now unfathomable.
I’m not a part, essential, or even integral…
An unmoving nomad, innate, incognoscible, 
When Happy Horis visits, I get incorrigible…
If Depressing Duncan returns, then I feel terrible!
It’s only with me that I get argumental,

Obviously, we don’t need to go all aetiological,
It’s a practicality to be commonsensical,
Seek for the localised idiosyncratical,
Things may not become clear or irenical,
No need to search for the inexplicable,
Don’t spend valuable time on the impenetrable.
Remember, we are not powerful or juridical…
If baffled, then make yourself a foxhole.
Still don’t understand? That’s fantasmagorical,
Still struggling, I’ll write you another oracle!
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Another busy, confusing day for the old groat! 
Carer ‘Joe’ did two calls, and Carer Ejaz did the other two. Phone calls from Matron and Nurse June. Nurse Helen told me to make an appointment, as requested by the Doctor, to see her. I hope to get one for on Wednesday, then Carer ‘Joe’ can accompany me. Asked him to ring surgery tomorrow afternoon if he does the afternoon call tomorrow. 
Made a few cock-ups again. I believe it’s the arithmaphobia that caused most of them.
Ejaz took some snaps for me today of the outdoors. He noticed I’d got the micro-shakes. Bless him. 
Carer ‘Joe’ & Ejaz both helped me out last and this week. And with all the action from the medical front, you wouldn’t believe how appreciative I feel. Fair enough, I’m still with it enough to feel embarrassed at not being able to do things for myself. 

As I pointed out earlier, I believe the issue with the battery delivery and the microwave meal delivery was due to dates, times, and numbers. 
But were they? I think so; I experienced three waves of panic over the last two days as I misread or misunderstood the most straightforward advice and instructional details. Arithmaphobia?
I’ve been meaning to look up Ménière’s disease, the condition the nurse mentioned.
But have I done it yet? No!
To date, I have confirmed some appointments.
The four-wheeled walker is expected to arrive on Friday. Followed by a BRCCS Technician to sort it out and point out handling and safety features.
In abeyance, waiting for confirmation of the visit to the doctor next Wednesday or a later Wednesday so I can go with Carer ‘Joe’, who is aware of my actions and can explain things to me as they are.
On the 15th May. Nickie to do a walker assessment.
On the 23rd, Physio from Manuel.
Awaiting appointment for the Glaucoma lasering.
I’ve missed it on my calendar, but Nurse Caroline is coming to conduct the Pre-Morbid Cognitive Impairment assessment. Alternatively, I need to go to Nuthall Hospital to have it done. But when?

Nurse June rang, but I can’t remember what it was about. Thanks to a seizure, things did not register. At least, I think that’s why. Just photos from here on with what I can recall of them. The earlier ones hold a more explicit memory.

My morning shot before going to the wet room.

Things went okay, I think. One cut shaving
Medicating was easier this morning because I only had to do about half of them, and the intercom chimed out. Naturally, I went back into the wet room and continued dressing without medicating.

Carer Ejaz arrived. He barrier-creamed the ankles, which looked a little more likely to erupt into seeping from . Ejaz took some shots from the kitchen window for me.
Bluey blotches on this one?
Great shot, Ejaz!
Nice one. Is that smoke I see?

Blogging. It took me hours and hours, and I was still nowhere near catching up. Huh!

Mystery afternoon, and I don’t know why?

Ejaz evening call shots were taken for me.

I prepared a mixture of food and placed it in a microwavable container. Later, when I decided to add some mini-roast potatoes, there would be no room in the dish. So, while the spuds were cooking in the oven, I transferred the mix to a larger dish to use in the microwave. In the mixture went a can of vegetable curry, a ready meal of beef in black bean sauce, garden peas, water chestnuts, carrots and some extra Bisto gravy.
Lip-licking luxury!

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Have a Great Day!
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Interned Inchy: Monday 18th November 2024

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WHAT A START!
MIND YOU THE MIDDLE & END WERE NOWT TO SHOUT ABOUT
I stirred around 05:30hrs, after another disturbing jumping and shooting awake imitation night’s sleep in bed.
The nocturnal catheter pouch was the brownest it’s been for a while.
Carer Richard confirmed it as seven on the NHS colour-rating scale card. I was not in good nick this morning, but nothing seemed worse than any other ailment. 

I started updating Sunday’s post. As I was about to post it, I got emails and messages from the bank about the payment for my new Tesco account order not being paid. I thought I’d coped well with setting up an account with them.
Over the next few hours, I received more emails and messages from Tesco and the bank. Obviously, I had done something wrong somewhere.
I struggled to get the bank to pay for my Tesco order. A carer tried, the first nurse tried, and then I rang Deana for help. I had eight different passwords come in, and none worked. Five emails from Tesco and three more from the bank. But I could not work out what I’d done wrong, although it was apparent that I’d done something wrong. Another nurse worked it out for me – I’d put the wrong telephone number as I registered with Tesco. I’d put the landline instead of mobile – what a clot and farce that was. Then, I rang Deana to say it was sorted; I’m so glad the nurses came today.

However, I still did not grasp what I had done wrong in the process for a while. 

THE NURSE’S VISITS: A nurse called on me (Thank heavens) this morning to replace my Catheter. But she could not get it to go back in. After a phone call for assistance, another nurse arrived to help. An hour later, it was still not back in. They called for an ambulance but were told no non-emergency ambulances were available. So they departed, saying, just like Arnie said in the film, did, “I’ll be back!”

Three nurses arrived later! They got the Catheter painfully for me and sorted it around 20 minutes later. They were in a rush; they had a lot more Catheter-ridden old farts to visit. I said I was sorry to bother them, gave them some nibbles and drinkies of their choice, and was told to ring if there were any problems later. (None yet) I think this is why I did not post the blog properly. Jenny sent me an email as I checked those from Tesco and the bank and posted off Saturday’s blog. Then sent a message to Jenny; “I hope it’s gone through now, Jenny. ♥” Explaining the day I’d had as an excuse for the cock-ups that I’d made already. Hehehe! 

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First photographs.

Second photographs.

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THE BED
The torture bed, where things got badder…

Four tries to get the tube back into the bladder,
It felt like I was being mauled by a barracuda,
Blood came from the fungal lesion’s ulcer,
I sang to make the pain easier…
Gene Pitney’s 24-hours from Tulsa,
I thought one nurse was the Grim Reaper, undercover,
My howling was like a documentary voiceover, 
My voice recording could be used in Dracula!
Each nurse got annoyed at each failure…
One suggested taking my temperature,
Their kind efforts did not waiver,
In the NHS, I became a believer,
Each nurse was a wallflower with power,
As they worked out how to grab my waggler,
Which was getting smaller and wrinklier,
On the 6th attempt, I sensed they were getting tireder,
My bladder was getting fuller & fuller,

On the 7th, they epitomised womanpower,
Their attitude to me was pure exemplar,
These Angels were so patient and avuncular,
As soon as they’d won, I had gastrectasia…
Telling me to stay in bed for a while, to recover,
The tube reconnected in my tallywhacker…
I was already feeling so much better,
I told each one I loved her!
Nibbles & a drinkies of their choice, I did offer,
I thanked them all 
for being so spectacular! ♥
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All in, up and running again!

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Tonight’s ready-made meal.
I plan to have some tomatoes and
beef sarnies with it.

Back in the morning… I hope!
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Good Morning!

Carer Promise arrived on his last call and took photos of the snow falling from the balcony.
Then the lad attached the night pouch to the Catheter, which leaked all over the floor!  
So I was freezing from him letting the cold into the room, wet, and I had the job of cleaning up the leaked urine, wee’d on legs and slipper!
And all I wanted to do was to get some sleep!

Still, it gave him a laugh. Hehe!
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TTFN each, Joy & Happiness to you All!