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My medicationing & ablutions were completed,
My hands looked blotchy, bony, extravasated,
Cadaveric, but I wasn’t bothered or over-wherrited,
Suddenly, my Grim Reaper visited,
What we discussed, we both quadrated,
Aren’t you ready yet, Inchy? he obsecrated,
I smiled at him, and he nictated,
I asked him if dying was time-obligated…
How’d you like me to go: Run over & be mangulated?
Grim said it didn’t matter, perhaps being lapidated?
Well, I said, I’ve spent already being dilapidated,
We laughed when I said I wanted to be cremated
Grim said, Supposed you’ll die fully intestated?
Grim asked, had I managed to get trothplighted,
I replied, no, I’m still waiting to be dated,
I reminded him of the ailments I’d collected…
Grim asked; Have you become hypocondriated?
Inchy: No, but my ailments had escalated,
Grim: Well, you are getting on and dated!
Inchy; All tellurians do that, I elucidated,
Grim: Yes… You’re right, they all get elided,
Inchy: I reckon it’s time to die, I Wikipediaed,
Grim: I’m sorry, you’re not due to snuff it yet!
Inchy; Oh, how much longer then will I get,
Grim: Your life should really be revered,
Inchy; It’s been failures & mistakes punctuated!
Grim: Yes, St Peter may get you relocated…
Let you try again; that’d be splendid,
Inchy; No, I want that idea permanently suspended,
Grim: You’re still depressed! I thought you’d recovered.
To Be Continued…
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Not a lot, but very dark.
Food Delivery.
Morning sunshine.
Afternoon.
Afternoon.
Early sunset.
I didn’t wake until 0630 hrs. The intercom chimed out as I lay there waiting for my brain to engage. It was a JS order.
The Carer arrived. Medications & finance were examined.
Carer checking details of doctor’s letter.
Computer on. I spent four hours updating errors I found in my Ode word listing. Humph!
The morning, as far as seizures, Electric Shocking Sandra and even Anne Gyna, went well. Back-Pain Brenda, Cartilage Chloe, Toothache Tiffany & the Cracked Lips Leslie made up for the lack of pains.
As the seizure kicked of, the District Matron arrived.
Body check and weighing: I shan’t tell you about the massive increase in weight. But I have to say, with my legs and arms so skinny lately, the mass is from the midriff and bladder, methinks. Told Jackie about my problems with getting the Catheter Contraption bags. She will order some for me. Lovely to see a nurse now and then.
Glady Glacoma started to blur and distort my vision. I was glad I’d got the Ode list updated first.
Carer Sam arrived; I told her about the two missed calls over the holiday, not making any issues. I remember what it was like every Christmas and New Year when staff did not come in when I was a security controller. A nightmare scenario for me then and others now.
I totally lost about two hours. But I seemed to carry on with the blog, and when things cleared, I lost another hour sorting out the mistakes I’d made. It still puzzles me how this happens.
I lost the long-distance spectacles.
Although I can’t clearly recall doing an ablution, I knew I had, for I was smelling nice and in a different dressing gown and hat. And no Protection Pants, which tells me one or other, Chloe or Carol’s cartilages must have been playing up to prevent me from getting them on. Some unwarranted idea that I had taken off the glasses all that time ago made me investigate the wet room to see if I’d left them there. Another nagging semi-thought was that they are always kept in the main junk room near the TV and computer, but I had no luck finding them.
Carer Christopher arrived.
Med’s given a little natter and drinkie.
I was looking forward to these beef sausages.
I went to great lengths to get them cooked just how I like them; well done. Just sausages and bread, with pickle-flavoured tomato ketchup to dip them in.
Oh, yes, I used the new mini oven.
Funny, isn’t it? How many mini-things do I have? Mini-Seizures, a mini-cooker, a mini air cooker. Take TrZmini tablets, have a mini bank account, and an ultra mini-appendage.
I ate most of the sausages, which smelled good but did not taste very pleasant. I will not rebuy them.
He says, confident that he’ll remember not to.
TTFNski, Each
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Waste bins sorted.
Reet rainin’ this mornin’.
Phor!
End car park mudslide.
No Carer arrived, which is the same as last night.
Topped up the Nurses’ and carers’ treat
I made a brew, then changed the clock calendar and got it on the computer to make a belated start on the blog.
I found two snaps that I took last night and forgot to put the SD card into the camera. Better late than never.
Kicked off.
Thankfully, I had some pain spray for the teeth.
Teatime views.
The legs looked better than yesterday.
A better shot of Devonshire Avenue.
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I began the battle to get out of the bed. Back-Pain-Brenda and Cartilages Chloe & Carole were unhappy being forced to move at 0500hrs. I noticed there was not much in the Ncturnal night pouch this morning. At first, I was most satisfied to see the bright colour, but when I got around to emptying it, I realised that it was one of the new ones that eBay had delivered last night. These were much cheaper than the others available but did not have a release valve. Also, the PVC, or plastic bag, was much thinner, and the urine was much darker as I cut the bag. Can’t win’em all!
I got into the kitchenette to check things; no taps had been left on, and no doors or windows were left open. I avoided going into a 
.
The sky was fog and mist-free! That’s because the snow and ice will be brewing from Storm Darrach, bringing Red Warnings for Wind and Snow. Apparently, the lowest temperature recorded in Nottingham was −13.3 °C (8.1 °F) on 13 January 1987 and 23 January 1963. That’ll cheer up amphibologically-trained murderer Starmer. I can see it now; “200 Nottingham pensioners died in last night’s storm.” Herr backhander-taking Starmer was told, he replied, “So?”
All that stuff I’d done. Some witty, some sarcastic. But it was all a little entertaining, I thought. There were many insults about Starmer – but not now. I’m even nervous to try again. Thoroughly depressed beforehand. Knowing it could happen again if the seizures or shakes return. I’m heartbroken, I think.
Waste bags sorted.
First emptying of the day catheter.
Fogless day.
Mug of 99 tea.
Say no more…
The night shots I had to force myself to take.
Despite my low spirits, I countered them by telling myself that whatever lousy luck I suffered, I must deserve it. I should accept these Accifauxpa & Whoopsiedangleplops without all my childish moaning and groaning, self-castigating episodes.
Last of the sunset!
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Occasionally joined in. This repeated until I resigned myself to surrendering and getting up. Marvellous, one tries to stay awake so as not to miss the footy, but that comes on, and I fall asleep. I miss the football, and then I can’t get back to sleep! Humph!
I was pleased with the colour of the urine this morning. Carer Chris gave it a Five from the NHS colour chart. Best morning shade for weeks.
I went into the kitchen to check the taps and saw the fog again. It was even thicker than it was yesterday. I could barely discern 
the lights. I assume there were some out there? I took a second shot of the view in a different photo mode. This time, I could make out some vague bits of green that must be trees?
I did the Blood Pressure on the Sphygmomanometer. It came out just inside the ‘Hyper range’; it was not high enough to cause me any concern.
I sorted all four of the waste bin bags into one. And took them to the front door. I am hoping a Carer will take them to the chute for me. I would have taken it, but with the kitchen thermometer only reading 40°F, it was just a smidgeon too cold to risk going out there yet. Haha! 
Although not as big or painful as yesterday’s monster passing, it was still enough to bring water to my eyes. Hehehe! One good thing about Constipation Conrad’s evacuation is that it leads to fewer premature escapages than Trotsky Terence’s.
At long last. I made a brew of 99 tea, got on the computer and changed the date on my almost historical clock calendar. 
.
Carer Christopher arrived as I tried to sort things out and what to try or do about it. 
came over me for about an hour. Somehow, it seems that I kept on typing away through them all. When I partially regained my faculties, I found a mess grammatically and one paragraph that did not mean anything to me, all gobble-di-gook!
Fish balls in batter, pickled beetroot, onions, green tomatoes, carrots & home-pickled water chestnuts.
Being unsure of myself, I rechecked the templates. I took this shot through the balcony door, and only the fog was seeable. It felt dreary and cold. I checked the kitchen thermometer, and it was showing only 35.6°F. 
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. He’s still moping about sulking and self-lambasting. Sickenly sad, innit? 
A decent enough night’s sleep, by my standards. Broken as usual, but I think I grabbed about five hours out of it.
The nocturnal catheter pouch didn’t have much in it. Later on. Carer Sam gave this one a 6 on the NHS colour grading scale card. A bit deep?
I made some waste bags into one and placed it near the front door to take to the chute a little later on when the noise shouldn’t disturb the late-sleeping tenants. I think it was early enough for me to tackle the ablutions, as even if the prescriptions arrive today, they will not deliver this early.
& 
After doing the waste bag, I could see, very high in the sky, the moon, and maybe Venus as well. Nice!
although the blanks were brief, they kept piling up. After about four hours of effort without significant progress, I abandoned the blog.
would be in charge this 
session. I was right, too!
. This was a first for me; agony is not a strong enough word! Each hardly moving, millimetre at a time, shuddering as I inched things along. It 
was harrowingly excruciating. I must have taken a dozen or more pushes before the torpedo emerged, let alone came out! I could feel the warm blood running down my legs as it moved oh so slowly, needing even more effort to get it moving again; as it hurt that much, I had to take a breather and then start again. There was no plop or splash when it did get free… that was because it was that long and fat; it must have been in the water long ago.
bleeding!
Of course, the back passage was a little sore. Hehe! A half a tube of Germoloid Ointment eased things. I was not sorry that the visit was over and done with.
, as I struggled with repeated mini bouts from 
properly pickle them. I put the food into the jar and filled it with pickling vinegar and pickling spices. I added some basil & garden & peas to the jar. Popped it into the fridge and realised I’d got the previous two jars in there, with no date on them to check when they would 
be ready to eat. Then I noticed the fresh raw garden peas packet in the fridge door. I took them with my mug of tea to the computer and ate them all! And very nice they were too! Even with the mug of tea!
Yummy!
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sorted the waste bins out. I should, I suppose, have felt a smidge guilty as I checked out the empty crisp packets in the bed 
bin. One Marmite, one Frazzle, and two Pickled onion bags. Ahem! 
Into the kitchen. Before the kettle had boiled, an urgent rumbling from the innards and passing of wind encouraged me to hobble hastily to the wet room and Porcelain Throne. Trotsky Terence ruled the session and took his time clearing a dirty-great load of watery, splashy, Karki-coloured evacuated product. My hearing aids are both kaputt, but I could hear the product splashing into the water two minutes later! On the bright side, there was no pain or bleeding whatsoever! Good! But a lot of cleaning was needed; the porcelain and the rear end parts of me! Not Good!
Not really, only little Inchies Fungal Lesion, and cleaning and creaming the groin were any hassle, pain-wise. Then it wasn’t too bad.
I went to make the tea and took it to the computer. I even remembered to change the day & date on the 1970’s clock. I dunked a large cookie in the tea and got that, which I often do. I feared I might have left the taps running in the wet room, so I checked. Why do I not get these worries and urges
when I do leave it running?
11:15hrs. I believed a Carer must have called while I was partially out of things. Got back to the computer and checked to see if any messages or missed calls were on the mobile. I don’t know how, but the phone had a message on it from 2022? Summat else broke? Then 
kicked off
arrived at 11:40hrs. Some had not turned in, and he looked tired, but only my EQ recognised it. The lad was not complaining. Hopefully, the Angina tablets, whichever they are, will start to work soon. Better late than never. It’s a devil of a job keeping to schedules at Christmas time. I know from my working days.
I’d gotten the Saturday blog sent off. I’m not sure how many errors there were, but it was a few, I reckon. I m
turned up, nice to see her. I had an extra Codeine as 
Were getting problematical again, but still less than a while ago around 16:00hrs.
And very nice it was, too!
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ensured it was a horrible, miserable, painful night. I was in bed for six hours, but the sleeping part must have been far less. You know me; I don’t like to complain… too much. Hehe! 
Carer Promise later gave the nocturnal weewee pouch a number 6 on the NHS Richter scale. Haha! I took the worst photo of the morning view from the kitchen window. I found later that all of Kojo’s photos were right out of the sink. I changed back to Kodak Tim after a few failures. I’ll ask Carer Christopher to see if he can reset the errors I must have made to my Kojo camera on Monday. Tsk!
It was too early to shower, so I had a stand session. Well, it started sitting down, really, on the Porcelain Throne. 
It was back with a vengeance. Talk about messy! It took me such a long time just cleaning up after that session on the seat!
I found a way of wrapping some kitchen towels around the small picker-upperer so they don’t tear the towelling so much. Also, it gives me vital reach to get to the unbendable left leg of the Cartilage Chloe. Cunning, innit?
Now for dodgy duties. Today, I decided to medicate The fungal lesion on Little Inchie first instead of last. Get the painful one out of the way! I used the new cream on the lesion this morning instead of the Betamethasone cream for the first time. Blimey, it was almost painless! Naturally, the moving of the tubing was just as bad. But I’m not sure that it will work without pain. Haha! I’ll know by the morning when I wake up, I 
imagine. While on the lower regions of my whale-like, flabby body, I
, both knees. I gave them a good long rubbing in, and by then, I tended to 
& 
ankle ulcer rub on with the picker-upperer.
Then I water jetted out the ear holes and put olive oil in each 
canal.
would appreciate them and not make things go foggy so often today. Huh, that was a forlorn hope. Still, yer can’t win ’em all!
turn next. I also used the Barrier cream on them, as instructed by the district nurse. Never again, it’s back to the Germolene again in the morning. It’s expensive, but it eases the agony from the piles! This barrier cream did nothing for the pain. Humph! 
I tried to leave in a less painful position. It didn’t work, and poor Little Inchie has had a rotten day of torment and discomfort. I shall have a word with the nurse when she calls again. I can’t understand it. Things have been much easier for Inchie for two or three days. Today, it was back to its worst ever! But, it’s only pain. If it wasn’t the Catheter, something else would be playing up… I wish it was. But then again, better the devil, you know.
Now, to barrier cream the man’s breasts, arms, belly, groin and where I can reach on the back of the neck. I left the breasts till last cause they had been so good the last couple of days.
few naughty words and ARRGH as well.
When and why I took this photo remains a mystery. Hand on, no, it doesn’t. I think it must have been to try the cheap camera again. Because it looks terrible. I guess I unwittingly changed some settings on it. Another problem for Carer Christopher to look at for me. Bless him.
.
Fabulous Furries and a great blog!
Yum, Yum!
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I woke late and might been even later if it had not been for the unintentional waking me up from the dream I was having by Peripheral Neuropathy Pete. And it was not the leg! The last time I made an unpremeditated Hitler Salute was many months ago. This morning’s ‘Heil Hitler Salute’ knocked over two bottles of spring water, two bags of Frazzles, and a teaspoon & fork. (Although they may be dropped in my slumber, especially if I have a dream or seizure. I tend to do a fair bit of nocturnal damage, you know!) 
I let my head clear… as straightforward as it will ever be, and removed the Nocturnal Catheter Pouch from the day bag. Later, Carer Chris Confirmed this bloodied pouch had a number 6 rating on the NHS check card. Far too red!
I went to the kitchen to put the kettle on for a small mug of Co-op 99 tea. 
A lot of difference in the sky colour. They were taken within about three minutes of each other. The green aura was back again. This often comes morning and night. No idea why.
On leaving, I managed to get my leg tangled up with 
. Which tugged at 
, and she’s not forgiven me now, 12 hours later! Hope I’ve not made things worse than usual. I’ll see how it goes.
Carer Chris arrived in a jolly mood. It was nice to see that. He and I forgot to put the diabetic socks on. But he invoked changing the day 
catheter rigmarole for me. Did a good job, too. Then he took some photos of me with different expressions on my mush to use later in the Inchy Today… tomorrow.
They kicked off and stayed with me for at least three hours until Carer Joanne came. I was trying to sort the Thursday blog finalising. But it was hard work with all the correcting I had to do. The gal had done the not-machine-washable gowns for me again. She really is a lifesaver. We laughed and joked, and I did most of the talking. I do that too often. Tsk!
It looks wider than the flipping freezer!
Oh, dear, another Inchy Cock-up?
I got the rolls and onion out of the fridge. (I can’t get into the freezer, whimp me, can’t move the mini-cooker, it’s too heavy for me to manage. Tsk!
The resulting feast.
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05:30hrs: I stirred, with Cartilage Chloe giving me pain the moment I tried to genuflect the leg. She’s still bothering me a bit now. I detached the night ouch from the catheter day pouch. A 
little dark, but I’ve had far worse. 
electric shocks so far! It was very cold this morning. I sorted some waste bags and limped into the kitchen. I snapped a picture of the 
morning view and checked the fridge to ensure I could fit all of today’s food in when the delivery arrived. 
cheesy topped rolls and binned them
The Windows update brought up some Microsoft details that confused me about what it was reading. Grrr!
took a lot of cleaning up. I cleaned and ointmentated various body areas and parts in need. I have no shortage of Barrier cream!
The intercom chirped up. It was the J Sainsbury order arriving. The driver soon appeared at my doorway and was very helpful & understanding of my problems. Thank you, driver!
mushrooms (Huh!), beef tomatoes, beetroot chilli, a jar of garden peas, imitation butter, and lemon desserts. 
Some drinks and nibbles. Then I checked the fridge, but there was almost no difference from the one I had taken earlier. No shortages, though.
I think that is the last I remember taking that picture, for about an hour or so. The most odd seizure that I’ve ever had. Time to call the 
medics! 
minute or two of nattering, but it was good and relieved my tensions somewhat. It didn’t last for long but it was nice.
Peripheral Pete gave me half an hour or so of one-legged dancing, a sort of cross between doing the Oki-Cokey and the Stomp! The two ailments have lasted longer than ever before. I wondered what the third would be. 
I snapped this screen to see if Kodak had saved it to the card. Dag-my-Knangles, it did! But look at the fading on the right side? I took another 
shot, fingers crossed and praying. I took one of the evening views from the kitchenette window. This one seemed alright? I thought I’d take a shot of the ‘Inchie-inspired jar of pickled mushrooms with seasoning and water chestnuts in pickling vinegar. It 
says on the web to leave it for a minimum of three days to season the mushrooms, but it is best to leave it for a minimum of 5 days before eating. It also said how easy it was to make them. Easy & me, do not go together. At least they should be okay to eat for Christmas. And the photo looked to be alright this time. 
The Liberty-Global-owned Virgin TV was turned on, and for ten seconds, all looked well. Then A screen filled fully with a message telling me that an updated version is now available. Press the Install Now or Do it Later (Or not now) tab. Of course I tried but nothing happened, the screen remained there annoyingly. I tried turning it off several times, and I got the same result each time! Failure! 
I was fed up and turned Del Boy on the TV. 
I clicked install, and a mass of options came up that I didn’t really understand, in the least!
To my amazement, the TV came back on.
Carer Chris will be here soon; no time for me to get the food done before he arrives. 
Two cheesy cobs, heavily spread with no-butter butter, and sliced tomatoes slightly salted. 
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that
without getting up. 
I photographed the nocturnal pouch after freeing it from the day bag. Selina confirmed the colour as a five on the NHS Colour Card log. 
En route to the kitchen to put the kettle on, then to visit the wet room, I had to divert straight to the wet room in response to the motion about to come of its own accord from my rear end! I tore off the dressing gown and plopped down, just in time to avoid another embarrassment. Messy, very messy, but painless and only a few streaks of blood. 
I made up one waste bag and placed it near the front door. I noticed a strong cooking aroma in the flat. I checked, but it wasn’t from my kitchen. It 
seemed to permeate the place for hours? 
snapped a terrible photo of the morning view. Definitely no signs of Venus or Pluto seeable this morning.
I made a double tea bag brew. Thompsom’d Irish Breakfast and Signature ones. Nice and tasty with just a little drop of semi-skinned milk.
I didn’t notice any rain yesterday, and the roads are dry this morning, but look at the end car park mud slide’s view! Might have in the night.
After the midday carer’s visit, I made a bottle of spring water and added some cordial and a smidgeon of pineapple and orange juice.
As I was working away on the blog. I suddenly felt a little peckish. I’ll mate some cobs of some sort, and I reckon I can manage a couple. I think I’ll have some microwave sausages on the cheesy cobs and put some tomato ketchup with bacon flavouring on the tasty-looking bread rolls. 
I added some pickled beetroots. And I had a pot of Lemon Fool to boot! I don’t think I cooled the sausages enough. But, it all eaten up anyway! Well, 