Inchcock Today Diary with Ode, Wednesday 8th June 2022:

Wednesday 8th June 2022

Good Morningski!

ODE TO START THE DAY

I believe I mentioned last week that the End was Nigh?
Putin’s not bothered about the world but keeps his eye…
On the Chinese, Americans and the FBI…
It is saveable? If so, how, when, by whom, and why?
If it is rescued, and I’m alive, I’ll slap my thigh…
But my hopes are not too high!

What are nations doing about Putin, the Cow?
Britain protested to the UN with a catty meow…
President Biden very nearly raised his left eyebrow…
Xi Jinping thinks the Ukraine war’s just a sideshow?
France stopped Russian imports, pickles and marrow!
Sweden is worried about dwindling numbers of sparrows…
No comment from rain-starved New Mexico…
Germanys Steinmeie, has gone off a furlough?
Inchie on the Porcelain Throne… had a follow-through!.

Odes that matter are not easy to write – So I wrote this one!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

WEDNESDAY

0045hrs: I don’t know how I did it, but I’d worked through the night on blogging. It is now 04:00hrs, and I will try to get some sleep. The carer can wake me when they arrive. As soon as they are gone, I must get the ablutions done. Too early now cause of making a noise with the shower. Then get some sleep!

That didn’t last long! I’ve now been up for 22hours. For nearly an hour! Humph! Will I ever get some sleep! I got down in the recliner and drifted to sleep without any bother…

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang out! Carer Richard arrived, a little concerned, when he looked at me. Apparently, I was pasty-looking and shaking. I told him I was just tired and why. Inquired about how his Diabetes course went. Alright, the lad said, which told me it wasn’t at all. Again he couldn’t stay too long; he had more calls to do. Gave I’m some treats, and he was off like an arrow from Robin Hood’s bow. Haha! I’d not yet got the computer going and thought it best if I got myself a good shower and shave first. A freshening up should sort me out. Then I can get some sleep… surely?

I made a right and proper mess of shaving duties today. The neck (3), earhole (1) and chin (2) all had a pretty cut or two by the time I’d finished. The Peripheral Pete’s shakes were very minor but still cut me. Showered without any nasty or painful injuries worth mentioning.

Although the regulation toe-stubbing took place as I started to do the next job. Midway through the rear-end Germoloiding, the landline burst forth…

I snapped the end car parkers as I checked the windows. Then gathered the blood pressure equipment needed for the readings to be discovered. This was when I realised I was still in the nude!!! Argh!.

Well, very nearly, that’ll do for me, I fank you! The results for the SYS 142. DIA 67 and the Pulse at 77 bpm were all in range.

My Chinese (Hong Kong) is made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, was playing up a little, not wanting to work? Still, I got it on the third try.

I got the clothes nearby for after the ablutioning, stripped, shuddered at my reflection n the shiny kettle, and went into the wet room… ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang out again! It was Warden  Deana to do a wrist alarm battery check. I hope I’d put on some clothing before answering the door! But Dementia Doreen forbade me from recollecting when writing this bit of the blog many hours later.

Back to the wet room and got on with tasks of scrubbing up, teggies, shaving and a good shower. The ankles were not too good; they have been worse.

A struggle to get there before they rang off. I hoped it might be QMC hospital’s EENT about an appointment to get the cataract done… but no! It was a cold-caller whom I could not understand what she was saying. I rang-off.

I really must try to get some sleep again. But no! Esther rang and came in; I just got the pants on in time! It’s nearly noon, and I’ve seemed to have been getting delayed, sidetracked and discovered a plot to stop me from sleeping. Hehehe! And I have not even started on the blog yet!

Esther kindly brought some cord and rethreaded the jammie bottoms that had lost their own string. Bless her. She still talks to me from the other room. Har-Har!

I made a start on the Odeing for this blog. I’m so far behind again and getting self-irked about it! Another long day then; Gawd knows when I’ll get the job done. Interruptions all the time, or ailments delaying me – SLEEP – PLEASE!

I’ve got to get some kip so I can recharge to get this blog done… Around in circles, that’s me! Still, I foolishly thought, at least I’ve made a start on the Ode… Humph!

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chimed out yet again! It was Esther coming back. She’d been to do it for a new client, and their vacuum had broken down, and she asked me if she could use mine. I realised the Hoover was already at the front door, so yes, no problem.

Surely now, I can get the Ode at least done? I checked on what I could have for my nosh, which looked like being eaten again in the early morning hours. With all the faffing about that’s going on. I made a brew of Thompson’s Signature tea and took a small cake from the fridge.

Back to the Ode writing, and… ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chimed out yet again! It was the postman. One of them was kind enough to press the buzzer when he delivered; it helped. The letter was from Nottingham City Homes, Asset Management Team, and Emma Brown. Telling us about an upgrade to the electrical fuse-boards. There will be interruptions to TV signals and laundry rooms. So, that told me two things. One; reason that the workers did not answer my cheery good morning the other day – Because it is an independent company (ECS) doing the work. And number two, now I know why I lost the TV signal thrice last week. Finally, I was making progress with the Odeing. Mind you, it was 16:00hrs by then. Keeping my concentration pretty well…

Esther returned again. To bring the vacuum back and thanked me for loaning it to her. No, bother, Esther, I said. Each week when she arrives, she takes out the plug on a towel airer to use it to recharge her mobile phone. And never puts the power back on… just a thought, like.

Carer Valerie arrived to sort the medications. Took the waste bag out with her. Boy, is it getting late now! Gragnangles! Definitely going to be another 24hr day.

Absolutely gorgeous clouds this evening. pareidoliaised, at my leisure, finding three figures in these beautiful clouds. An animal’s mouth and jaw, a tongue sticking out of a mouth and what looks like an iceberg to me. When I returned, not exactly full of fervour, to carry on with the blog, a weird happening happened to happen. Happenstance, one might say?

I saw dozens of seagulls flying left the right at about the same level, four or five times, through the balcony windows!

I hastened to get the Canon in hopes of getting photographs of the birds; they sometimes came close to the windows.

I sat in the recliner to have a drink of spring water, a nibble of some potato sticks, and, most importantly, to relax for a few minutes. But, No! As I got the camera turned on, the flock broke up and was long gone! Tsk! Then, something caught my eye that I’d not noticed before…

On the wall, where the electricians left a pretend made patching up job of the power-point they had knocked off of the wall, the uneven imitation plastering was showing me an ambiguous visual pattern. Hewn in the lumpy rough plastering.

I shan’t say what I can perceive in it, but I would love to know if you can visualise anything in it? Or is it just me and what?

Got ready to try and get some blogging done. And once more, the ♫ Oh Susana ♫ tone rang out from the door chime.

It was the pens being delivered. I tried them straight away. It said in the advert that they both had darker black inks and smoother, softer writing nibs. Brilliant! Best Biro’s I’ve ever used, and I can see the writing better now too.

I  titivated the Tuesday Diary, and I got that sent off. I know you are thinking, why has the dumbo not done this yet? Am I write? Erm… Right? Ask Doreen about Dementia? Hehe! I’d got myself into a pickle again mentally.

I made up some spring water bottles, added a drop of orange or lime cordial to each one, and put them on the ottoman’s tray. Also, fill a pot with some potato chip nibbles for later.

I took these close-up too the kitchenette window shots of pattering down rain. That came on quickly; the sunshine was blasting through the curtains a few seconds ago. (They are a bit thin!)

Carer Valerie arrived and got the medications sorted out. We even managed a little chinwagging tonight!

I got the nosh sorted out. I’m afraid it was not one of the more successful or tasty meals I’ve ever made or eaten. Not by a long chalk! The Morrison’s potatoes letters made sure of that. They were abysmally tasteless! The cheese & onions pasties were not too bad. The peas and mushrooms left over from yesterday were passable. The pot of strawberry cheesecake was nice. Overall, a dismal 5.5/10 Flavour rating!

Well, that was better. Almost solid this time. But I’ll not get too excited.

Into the kitchen to get some of the marvellous tasting No-Moo brand ice cream to nibble.

The view from the window was most impressive. Although it was not bright or vivid, the hues and shades were, to me, anyway, reminiscent of oil paintings. Which started me off thinking about how amazing Mother Nature can be… and I forgot to get the ice cream from the fridge for my evening snack. Grobbleturds!

Washed the pots, had a rare wee-wee, not that much sprinkled painfully out. Then I got down in the £300 second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, uncomfy, easily-falloutable, unfit-for-use, not working recliner.

And to my satisfaction and pleasure, I fell asleep within seconds!

Only to shoot awake with a jump a couple of minutes later! Grumblecronknackers! Graptitties! Schluberdubers! Globblegripes! and Grangleboggleisations! Naturally, the sudden awakenings continued for hours! Varying twixt after two minutes and ten!

Not All Sleep Is Restorative
By Raj Dasgupta, MD

Experts continue to study the sleep process, but they’ve found evidence to suggest your body & brain perform a lot during sleep, including muscle repair, protein synthesis, & tissue growth.

Oh, Good!

I got up and went back to blogging – Humph!

Inchcock Diary & Ode to Putin, Tuesday 7th June 2022

Tuesday 7th June 2022

07:30hrs: Woke wanting a wee-wee. I thought it would never come; it must have been 15hrs without one. It was hardly worth it, a painful sprinkle or two. At least the bladder is working again, so fingers crossed!

I set, too, giving myself a medical MOT. And taking ‘As needed’ non-prescription medications. There is no need for ointmentating this morning, No Little Inchies fungal lesion or Harold’s Haemorrhoids bleeding whatsoever! Excellent results on the blood pressure machine, best for ages!

The only thing not so good was the body temperature. That was way down low again. Been under the NHS’s recommended 35°c for a few days now. I don’t feel poorly; I am a lot chirpier in myself this morning. Although I felt so cold when it obviously isn’t?

I took some under-tongue CBS oil. And a Hemp capsule too.

Got the ears well saturated with the Olive oil. Let it sink in, and then I filled up the canals with more. This never seems to help, but I’ve got into the habit of doing it each morning now.

Then took a Dioctyl to help skid up the darned Porcelain Throne evacuations. Messy. Gooey, watery! Eurgh!

I got a few Warfarin tablets ready, so the carers will have some available for the evening doses.

Then, had a bash at syringing both ears. Not only a total waste of time; I failed to remove any wax at all, but I made such a mess I had

to clean up the water that had sprayed out off or missed the ears! Hehe!

Got the kettle on and sorted the laundry, not forgetting that talk-a-lot Esther would give me some hassle if it wasn’t ready and sorted when she arrived later this morning! Not that she scares me an anything like that, of course. Ahem!

I took this snap of the lovely morning sky with its ever-changing hues. Mother Nature, again shows us her beauty! The beauty we have been destroying for years.

Got the computer on and started on the WordPress reader and commenting, and the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chime brought forth Carer Richard. I thought the lad was late coming; he’s had extra calls on again and was in a rush because he had a four-hour training session later when he finishes work with the Diabetes team to get through. No time for any good natterings today again. I think he felt guilty about it, so I tried to cheer him up, wished him all the best, and gave him a bag of treats. Then, I walked (well, hobbled) with Richard to the lift lobby and wished him well for the meeting.

Took this photo of the car park in front of Woodthorpe Court from the kitchenette window. Made a brew of Glengettie tea and was about to return to the computer with the nug of tea – but circumstances changed…

As usual with Neuropathy Pete, his timing caused the optimum amount of pain and hassle. An involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dance made me drop the cup as I grabbed Metal-Micky and the side of the sink to keep from going over. Once more, it was over in seconds, but I still managed to clout my knee on the edge of a floor cupboard. Which awakened Cartilage Cathy in agony! Humph!

Sorted myself out and took an extra Codeine. And fond this photo of a meal from which I can’t work out? It was not a good photo in any way, shape or form, so it might be one that I meant to delete from the file?

Started on the Snippets blog, and the Iceland delivery arrived. I let him in through the intercom box in the hallway, and I cleared a path to put the bags into.

The driver took the bags through to the kitchen for me. Gave him a choice of plonk cans in thanks. He opted, I noticed, for the Rum and coke. Hehe! Good for him; I hope it cheered him up a smidge.

They sent the Rustlers for Richard, sugar snap peas, mushrooms and some new Pork & Pickle Bites. Three for a fiver, so they must be good. One for Josie, one for Richard and one for Esther. I got some small apples that, hopefully, my lesser-teethed mouth can manage to eat. Har-har! They had no small vine tomatoes in stock but have sent me a pack of large tomatoes, Dutch, that had a sell-by date for today. No charge!

The best thing they had sent was the No-Moo ice creams and No-Bull burgers. The best of any burgers I have tried! The ice cream is by far superior in taste to what one might call natural ice cream. Grrreat Flavour both! I’d have ordered more, but I dared not with Iceland’s record of crap unrelated substitutions!

I had another go at getting the Snippet Ode done. (I did get it finished, but not until I’d been grafting on it, on & off, for another nine hours!) Esther arrived and came talkingly into the room. She still wasn’t near enough for me to hear her, and I feared that she may have something vital as she went into the hall, front, and living rooms.

It’s not so bad when she’s face to face and not shouting at me rather than talking to me. Esther, bless her, has a habit of talking and carrying on. Esther keeps talking to me from the rear of my ear lobes as she turns away… the peace and quiet are nice. But there is always danger in this… She has a great memory and thinks because she’s told me something, I must have heard it and will remember it. (Both are impossible in my condition, Haha!)

Then, a week later, I get an ear-bashing from about 4 inches distance and am informed that “I told you that last week!” telling offs. Luckily I can rest assured that Esther will nip off into the other room to have a nosey around my boxes and occasionally iron a shirt… but talking to me all the time from the other room… still, I knew what to expect. Hehe! Obviously, I had forgotten something or not heard it. I’m glad I got the pork & pickle thingamabobs for her now. Giving her then assuaged her aggression. I joke, of course… Erm? She’s an angel, really.

I got the ready meal into the oven and had roughly 40 minutes before it was cooked. I must not fall asleep!

Back to doing the blog, I trudged. ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang out, and I wearily (Mentally) went to the door. It was Josie, returning the tray and things for me from the Sunday meal. Bless her cotton socks; she enthused over the taste of this Sunday’s chilli stew! That cheered me up a bit! She even asked if I used to be a chef? Oh dearie me! My EQ was nervous at this. Naturally, I had no idea why at the time. A feeling of foreboding matured…

I got on with the Snippet blogging again! So deep in concentration… still making errors after cock-ups, though. Then it dawned on me that the food was in the oven!!!

Grade A: It looked like this after I’d burnt my fingers getting the tray out of the oven post haste! Not good, is it? But I was so tired and weary that I still used it and made a meal of sorts out of it.

I added some BBQ sauce to the tray. Got some slices of Milk Roll bread, tomatoes and sugar snap peas onto the tray.

I was part mad at myself, well darned annoyed with myself, and so tired and drained, I didn’t get too agitated. Yet I still laughed at myself as I tried to dismantle the encrusted burnt meal to get at some edible bits of food. It helped in having some bread and sauce to soak some resuscitated bits to eat.

By the time I’d finished burnt food mining, which was tasty, believe it or not, bits of burnt food had been scattered far and wide on my stomach folds, down the pants, on the tray, and on the floor and recliner cushion. The carpet took on a new design; there were many black, ash-like bits of residue on it. I faced a long task in getting things sorted… and the kitchen and oven needed cleaning attention as well.

I was all in by the time I got things semi-put right. I made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea and ate a huge bowl full of veggie ice cream! I finished it and lay there as I dropped off to sleep – it was so good that I think I dreamed of sleeping…

♫Oh, Susana♫ Chimed out, and Carer Valerie came in. I’d been up and about for around 12 hours by then, and waking up after five minutes of sleeping was not what I wanted… Hehehe! I remembered to give Valerie her Pork & Pickle whatsits, though.

I felt awful but could not resist the urge to finish the blog. The internet went down… now I was getting annoyed!

I pressed on and got the Snippets blog finished at long last. It stayed that way; it was now gone midnight! I realised then that I had not done the ablutions today!

Humph!

ODE TO PUTIN

Is it true that hopes and expectancies are always there?
Putin’s are conspicuous, World Domination, I fear…
He’s somewhat of a Worldwide parcel courier?
Soon, bigger, dirtier packages will be sent, and nuclear…
Where will the scumball strike next? Europe and Asia, it’s unclear…
Anywhere, somewhere, possibly a country that’s weaker?

Is it true that he wears a lemon and pink brassier?
Shags Igor Sechin, his First Deputy Prime Minister?
He laughs at citizens dead or gathered for warmth around a brazier,
The man could not be any more selfish and crazier!

I insult the shithead cause there’s nothing else I can do…
But I would, if I could, send him a can of poisoned Irish stew,
I wonder if he likes it from his minions in his rear?
He’d like to make his competition dead or disappear?
What competition? He’s got more weapons & forces than we do…
He’s more soldiers in Moscow’s Red Square!

We cannot afford to send troops there…
We’ve not got enough, nor has anyone else, to be fair…
I wish we could send him Tony Blair…
Notice he’s not volunteered to do any damage repair?
Putin offers and hopes only for death and despair…
To the rest of the world, we can only die or forebear…
Unless you bribe him if you’re a financier?
Then he just might take a fancy to yer?

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Inchcock Today: Monday 6th June 2022, Diary & Ode

Monday 6th June 2022

 Odes to Sanity Part 23⅛th

Being uneducated, I turned to intuitioning…
To replace my lack of logic and reasoning,
Judgements were instantaneous, with no conscious thinking!
No abductiveness, abstracting or even reasoning…
But I had a flair somehow for conceptual thinking?

I was prepared to tackle problems, if nonintimidating,
Usually, I’d end up morbidly confused and panicking,
Thought Storms, I found myself cathecting…
Often ending with my fearing and self-blaming,
Doreen Dementure started visiting; she’s beyond taming!

Finding you’ve missed or got something wrong; is excruciating!
Yet still, when I stray of a topic to start witwantoning…
Searching, no doubt, for comforting, consoling…
To find someone who can help, and be approbating…
A Doctor mayhaps, who is not so abrogating…
But I’m still here alone… and waiting!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY DIARY

Due to my working well into the morning on yesterday’s blog, I didn’t wake up until 07:15hrs. A good job; the Carer didn’t come early cause I’d left the door locked. So, although still in a haze, I had to force my way free of the £300 second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, and get a wash and shave, then dressed. I remembered to unlock the door first.

Despite my rushing, I remembered that I had the J Sainsbury order arriving twixt 8> and 9:00hrs. I didn’t get a single cut shaving and no teeth bleeding (but that was because I forgot to clean the teeth, Hahaha!) I did manage a stubbed toe and a few dropsies.

I got the blood pressures etc., done quickly as I could. Great figures returned, bearing in mind I was hastily hobbling around after getting up so late, trying to get the Health Checks done before the Carer or Delivery arrived. My body temperature was well down, surprising as I was almost sweating with all the rushing about what I was doing? Hey-Ho!

Well gone 08:00hrs and Carer Richard arrived. He was obviously not going to be able to have a chinwag and check the medications in the drawer as he usually does on a Monday because the poor lad had got three extra calls given him for this morning! I slipped him a bottle and a nibble plonk & chocolates in a bag. I make up a bottle of spring water and ass some orange cordial to it and bang it in the fridge to cool for him each day if he comes; nice chap, but under pressure this morning. He still oversaw me as I took the medications; some didn’t even do that. Wishing him good luck, he took the waste bag on his way out. Bless his cotton socks.

At last, I got the kettle on and took some photographs from the balcony.

In the first photo, RVM (Red-Van-Man) in his favourite No Parking, yellow hatched markings. Raining a fair bit!

I noticed some activity, as a silver car arrived and went to park in between the grey and blue vehicles on Chestnut Ways car park. Then backed out again and went down to the end car park (RDM’s area).

And parked opposite RVM, a lot nearer to the entrance. I spotted the deluge of muddy rainwater in the car park as it hurled down the hill in Woodthorpe Grange Park. Can’t blame them as the rain seemed to be coming heavier now.

I went to wash the tea mug as I took this shot from the kitchenette window. Cunningly knocking over the kitchen tools stand as I did so! Another mess to sort out! I think it’s the first time I’ve handled the baster and quick as I picked them up with the picker-upperer since I bought the set. Hehehe! That was donkey’s years ago.

The intercom flashed, and I admitted the J Sainsbury delivery lad. Who threw the food into the boxes, with the bunch of roses going in at the bottom of the box! (I found out later). Tsk! I rescued the flowers and put them in the trolley walker basket to keep them from harm. Can you see the expression on the orange carrier bag handles? ‘The Scream?’ Hahaha!

I got the bows and bags emptied and sorted into various places. Starting with the fridge and freezer products. I’d made a cock-up with the battered Fish & Chips; I thought I’d just ordered chips? I’d also forgotten that I’d got the vegetarian ice cream ordered from JS and have ordered more now from Iceland for tomorrow; what a plonker! Humph! Glad to see they had some more of the Squid Sauce, which is actually liquid salt made from anchovies, and most tasty too! I’ll try to eat stuff from the freezer today to make room for new ones.

I’d got two boxes of four lemon curd bakes, one for Richard. The freshly podded garden peas had gone up in price by a whopping 30%. Boo! And no country of origin on the packet! So, I do not know what to expect tastewise. The Nicaraguan ones can be bitter and unpleasant. Like the last ones bought, they should be sweeter if they are from Peru. As were the Chilean ones last week.

Another of the instant, phooey, watery evacuations. I tried to take a photo of the much improved looking ankles and plates of meat… but as you can see by the image on the right, it was not a good one. That was due to Peripheral Pete and his neurotransmitter failure, creating another intentional leg flailing dance routine. Why, you ask? I hope… I actually took several photographs, but this one was the only one worth using.
What’s more, this dance went on for a long time, which is rare and worrying. I got a bruise or two hitting the porcelain and cabinets with the leg. I’ll have an investigation later to see what shape it’s left the poor old leg is in.  I must have put them in the wrong setting. Maybe turned the selector too far of not enough?

Hehe! I got a bag on the trolley walker with the roses in, with some drinkies and phoned Deana to tell her they had arrived as treats in thanks. She said she’ll call later, but things can get hectic in a flash for the wardens, all of us old farts that need to keep an eye on.

I got the three small waste bags made up from the delivery rubbish, grabbed metal Micky and went to the door to go to the chute. Drilling noises permeated through the flat. I assumed the workmen were back doing the electrical repairs or updates in the lift lobby. So, I took the Canon camera with me. I could see the wiring hanging down from the ceiling tiles, and the fire door was wedged open; and made my way out of the flat lobby into the lift lobby. I greeted the workmen with a cheery “Morning, lads!” I think I might have just gone into invisible mode at that moment.

I hobbled around the tools, tiles and wires on the lobby floor, and I got to the waste chute room. Dropped the bags down the chute and was back out in no time. All without any trapped or knocked fingers, leg-dances, shakes or walking into anything.

Back in the lift lobby, all the rubbish on the floor had quickly been removed, and there were no signs of untalkative gentlemen anywhere.

Back in the flat, I decided to have an early meal. My aboulomania and pathological indecisiveness reigned. Of course, it took me ages dithering about what to have. Eventually, despite Dementia Doreen, I remembered I wanted to use up some frozen foods today to make room for the superb-tasting NoBull ice cream I’ve ordered from Iceland for tomorrow’s delivery.

I oven cooked a massive amount of chips (fries), to clear a bit of room in the freezer, as you can see. Hehe! I ate far too much. All my good work on the dieting over the last week meant nothing, as I feasted, licking my lips and feeling very guilty!

Taste-Report: The imitation fish sticks were tasty. The imitation smoked kippers in a vegetable sauce were super! The chips and tomatoes were excellent! The unknown origin shelled peas were disappointing. So, the plate of food gets an 8.2/10 Flavour-Rating!

The J Sainsbury cheese twist, and the sourdough bread, were both dry, bland and hard. So neither got eaten entirely. Eurgh! Shame! A score of 3/10 for them. I just thought I’d remind you of the new Sainsbury’s slogan they have adopted. Grangleturds!

Got the washing up done, and a Meridian supervisor came to do a Customer Satisfaction review. I had to be honest with her. Treated her to a choice of nibbles afterwards, though. Dean arrived at almost the same time to collect her treats. I think it’s three or four weeks now before her wedding. She said she particularly liked yellow roses. She took the bag of goodies, and I even remembered to add the strawberries from the fridge.

2: The moment the Meridian gal left… l had to make a swift as was possible hobble to the wet room! It was a close call again! No pushing required, down… splash-splurt; all done in seconds! Med Dioctyl ACleaned up and washed, then took another Dioctyl poo-softener… I’ll start taking them one a day henceforth until they run out, or Trotsky Terrence loses his winning streak over Constipation Konrad! I must remember to ask Carer Richard to read the use-by date on the pot in the morning. I think cataract Kathleen is making my sight a little worse each day.

I got the pot of vegetarian ice cream that I got from JS, and I had a few big spoonfuls. Compared to the No-Moo one from Iceland, it was whiter but too sweet (I’ll still eat it, though, Hehe!) Costlier too! The No-Moo one was yellower, not so well packed and tasted less sugary, which suited me more than the JS one. Especially as these ones coming tomorrow were on offer. From £2.50 down to £1.50! Definitely, a case of and a tasty treat discovered!

I nodded off, emptied bowl on my belly, in the second-hand, £300, charity shop-bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner. It was bliss while it lasted, but it only lasted for ten minutes, as the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune burst forth from the door chime.

It was Sarah… or Samantha maybe? She got the medications sorted, but did not check as I took them for any dropped or regurgitated ones. So much for my mentioning this earlier. But she’s a good gal. No treats were accepted this time. Bless her!

I made up some Spring Water bottles, one with lime, one orange and the small one with lemon & lime. I do live well!

At 20:25hrs, I got restarted the WP and got back on Monday’s blog updating. Getting the latest photos uploaded first. So many were not useable, I had no idea I was shaking so much, and somehow a lot of them were lost. A

I got as far as here, and I went on the WordPress Comments. That took longer than I thought it would, nearly midnight now and the eyes are making things hard with the keyboard and screen.

00:15hrs now. No, I’ll have to stop.

TTFN each! 💜

Inchcock Today: Sunday 5th June 2022 – With Odeing

ODE OF THE DAY

SPOTTY-FACED TOO!

ODE TO LIFE

I’m searching to find actuality…
But combining this with reality…
It is not easy or of practicability,
Doreen Dementia lurks sinisterly…
Stopping the brain working correctly…
Wrong thoughts and memories run freely…
Confusion is rampant, daily… hourly!

But, no point in acting sourly…
It’ll only make me act more dourly,
I must avoid existing dismally…
I used to act so enthusiastically?

I still can, but guilt comes dreadfully…
Forcing thoughts unsympathetically…
This is not me, the old me anyway…
I’ve never been so irascible and broody,
I wish these fears would just go away…

_____________________________________

Sunday 5th June 2022

04:35hrs: I woke; I had a feel around for aches and pains and stretched some limbs, but could not get rid of a feeling that something was wrong? Had I forgotten something? It may have been there being no moist area in the crevices? This means no bleeding from Harold’s Haemorrhoids or Little Inches Fungal Lesion… Good news, though!

I forced my elephantine sized stomached body up onto my feet. Caught my balance easy enough, grabbed metal Micky and hobbled to the wet room in reply to urgent messages from the intestines for the Porcelain Throne to be utilised.

Trotsky Terence kicked off with a splattering noise when my bottom hit the plastic seat; in seconds, all done! Stinky, almost liquid and for the first time ever – the evacuated product lay the steaming… in three distinctly different shades of brown? Very pale, a khaki and almost black sections floated around together? Another mammoth job of cleaning up required, which, while being done, was accompanied by some threatening gurglings and stabbing pains from the innards! Mmm?

I finished the cleaning and sanitising, made up a waste bag, and started prepping to do Josie’s mead. I sliced some mushrooms, chestnuts, onions, and then tomatoes. I got the seasoning and puree added in.

I took shots of the morning view while it was still dark.

The houses in Sherwood, and then one of the car parks on Chestnut Way, opposite my treasured Woodthorpe Court block of flats, from the kitchenette window.

The colours of the vehicles were limited. Grey or silver, black or white, and a red one.

I got on with doing the Ode and updating the Saturday blog.

2: Same again, almost exactly, but less content. More cleaning up is to be done. Tsk! Trotsky is enjoying himself today?

The Carer arrived, a little tense, I thought (Not uptight or anything, just tired, bless her). So I got my charms working to cheer her up as best I could. She came out a little, which I was pleased with. Kiyer, her name, I think. Nibbles were supplied in thanks, and she took the waste bag with her to the chute.

Made a start on today’s template, then finished Saturday’s book and sent it to WordPress. Emailed the link.

At this stage, it dawned on what the odd feeling was when I woke up. I didn’t need a weewee! That was about 4½ hours ago, and I still haven’t needed one?

The sphygmomanometer was utilised to get the Blood Pressure readings. Another set of reasonable returns for today, as it has been for three days on the trot now! SYS 148. DIA 70 and the Pulse had gone up smidgeon to 91bpm.

My Chinese (Hong Kong) made Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, showed an increase to 34.6°c. I think that’s a good sign. Much better than of late…

Off to check on Josie’s chilli meal. All looked and tasted good when I had a spoonful.

Aha! A weewee is needed at last. But it’s a false alarm; nothing came out at all?

Got some blog creating started at last on this one. Then had to stop to concentrate on getting Josie’s meal sorted out. Back in a bit…

Made the chill-con-carne into two meals, one in a tub for Josie to have later on or tomorrow and the porcelain bowl for today. Added a few treats to the tray and took it dead on time as arranged to Josie’s door.

I pressed her bell but got no answer. Oh, dear, have I got it wrong again? Perhaps she’s told me she’s going out today and not wanting a meal? Or is she poorly inside the apartment? A bit of panic overcame me! I went back into the flat to ponder what to do…

I almost dropped the food tray; my mind was in a bit of a pickle. Thank heavens I didn’t, though. As I put the tray down inside the door and turned to close it, I espied Josie’s door opening…

I was well pleased to see she was alright when I asked her, she said, ‘I was on the phone with my sister’. If only the poor gal could remember that I always deliver her meal at 12:00hrs on a Sunday, or maybe even ask her Sister to ring at a different time? Or tell me she wants the meal at another time in future? I went through a few minutes of anguish, not knowing if she was alright or not and what could I do about it? Still, she couldn’t help it, and she was okay. So nevermind.

I got my nosh done and served it on the tray. BBQ rice and two veggie sausages, with a banana to follow. Nice enough. Taste rating 7.2/10

After eating the rice and bangers, I put on a Dr Who DVD, and I promptly nodded off. Of course, within minutes, I jumped back into life, as is usual for me nowadays. And I felt like I could manage something else to eat. I took the ray knife and porcelain bowl into the kitchen and soaked them in the washing up bowl. At first, I thought, aha, I’ll have some cornflakes, checked to see if there was enough milk to use, and remembered about the NoBull ice cream in the freezer. I opted to have that instead. I polished it all off, and boy, it was so tasty too! Took the tray back to the sink and washed it with the other stuff in the bowl.

Carer Kiya arrived and got me sorted out, taking the waste bag with her.

Now a new thought arrived. I’ll have to find out where I bought the vegetarian ice cream and get some more ordered; it was that good! I checked on the J Sainsbury order coming tomorrow but could not find any vegetarian ice cream at all. So, I had a look at the Iceland site. Ah, there it was, and on offer as well! I had to spend a minimum of £40, but that’s no problem for a shopaholic like me. Hehehe! Veggie burgers, treats for the carers, cheese & onion pasties, strawberries, tomatoes, mushrooms, butter, BO spray, spring water, chips, and, of course, the NoMoo ice cream!

Good heavens, Herbert’s did a bit of clanging about just now, and it’s nearly midnight. Humph!

I’ve just realised I’ve only had two weewees all day?

I’ll get this finished off and posted.

See’s ya later!

Inchcock: Diary & Odes, Saturday 4th June 2022

Saturday 4th June 2022

Birthday of Angela Jolie

 

I popped over to see her.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Fan… Bloody Tastic! I don’t think I had above seven spring awakes last night! I was aware of this as I stirred into a pretend sort of wakefulness. The need for a wee-wee became apparent… and increasingly so as the seconds passed…

I fumbled my way out of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid-Harold-testing, not-working, sleep-impeding, nauseatingly beige coloured,  recliner. On the first foot shuffle, the right leg flailed about in one of Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s rare, but famous for having Inchcock over and floored, Neuropathic Schuhplattler, dance routines. But, I beat the beast this morning, although how I’ll never know. Mind you, it was only a short sharp effort.

The only injury, and not a bad one by any means, was clouting my right knee on the chair arm as I hastened on one leg, to half hop back into the recliner. I don’t think I’ve caused any bleeding to Harold’s Haemorrhoids, no warm wet sensations from that area.

I stayed sat down where I landed, and I took a minute or two to catch my balance and composure. I reckon I’d done well there, not a bad start to the day, two minor victories on the trot, a good start! First, the getting some sleep, then mastering the wily skills of Neuropathy Pete, and avoiding what could have been a nasty tumble. I decided against going into another Smug-Mode though, I’ve been caught out like this before! It’s always a risk to engage smugness, something always seems to happen to spoil the moment.

I gently and cautiously rose to get to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), for another unwilling, much force needed, and little evacuated, what was came in mini-sprurts and sprayed all over the place.

Not that it lasted long… certainly not as long as the after-dribble did. Again I was lucky enough, to avoid getting anything outside of the bucket doused. (It really is hard to resist going into a Smug-Mode, you know!) After the wee-weeing, I cleaned and sanitised the bucket, and got the kettle on.

I forgot all about the kettle being on, but I used the electric one, so no need to worry. Which for me, is saying something! I got the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer and got the BP done. Good figures: SYS 1487, DIA 70, Pulse recorded a sensible 91 bpm. Just one point over the recommended figure. The body temperature of 34.2°c was yet another pleasing result!

It had to come!

MedPhorpain Into the wet room for a wash, and I made a start on the morning medicationings. Little Inchies Fungal Lesion was checked, no bleeding, so ordinary Germolene was used. I Phorpained Cathy Cartilage, Arthur Itis’s knees, and gave the hands a good rubbing in, cause sure as eggs are eggs, I’m going to get Colin Cramps visiting again.  I syringed the ears out, dried it best I could with tissues, and got some of the three times a day Olive Oil dropped into each canal. I fear that the syringe did nothing to more any wax. Grungleturds! Despite my hope of loosening some by the constant use of oil three times a day! Took a Hemp capsule, because I forgot to take it last night. And orally took some CBD. Then a good few gulps of the Pentac.

I had the right job, trying to get the Phorpain on my feet! I wonder if there is some spray I could use instead? I’ll have a look at the web later. (He says, actually believing that he will not forget to do so. What an innocent fool the man is!)

I made up a waste bag, and it was time to utilise the Porcelain Throne. What an evacuation that was! I anticipated another struggle to get things going, and I utilised the crossword book… As I applied the littlest bit of pressure… Splurt-Plop! All done in one go! But it seemed to shoot out, and being of a sloppy, watery nature, it splashed all over the Porcelain, but stuck to where it landed! Worra Gooey mess!

I cleaned up and made a brew of JS Red Label Extra Strong tea. Went out on the balcony to take a snap of the end car park, and see if RVD (Red Van Man) had managed to park between the white lines. Of course, he hadn’t! The driver of the white van would be a good person to get parking tips from?

Finally, I made a start on updating yesterday’s blog. Much belatedly.

💙💛🧡💜 The Carer arrived, and much to my pleasure, it was Carer Sarah! 💗 She is beautiful, and a Caring Carer. So patient, and likes to have a natter! Perfick! She showed me photos of her two daughters this morning, on her mobile phone. Two great looking gals, with cute faces that relays their happy nature and cheeky ways. I fell in love straight away! Hehehe!

I was a little mad at myself for getting all behind with the blogging. I made a determined effort to try and catch up on it. I made a start on yesterday’s finalisationing. Got it posted, then Emailed the link. Went on WP Reader, and answered some comments, some great ones from Professor Bill. Always seems to raise a smile and or laugh from me with them. Thanks, Billum!

Then onto Facebooking, which with the TFZer gang, is always a pleasure. Then back to some more WP Reading to get caught up. Made a start on this blog.

I was sat sitting here at the computer, and that dreaded warm wet sensation was felt from the lower rear region! Off to the wet room to have a decker at the problem. It seems that there must have been a delayed reaction from the Haemorrhoids when I plopped down on the recliner hours and hours ago, now. For bleeding they certainly were! I got washed up and Germoloided the area (very soothing). Got some new PPs on again, I used the cheaper but just as effective Depend pants, that I got from Amazon. Now all I have to do is hope the piles don’t erupt again. It’s a life innit?

To make things that little bit worse, the unneighbourly, superior-natured, Gentleman above me started his knock-knocking once more. Still, it didn’t last too long this time.

Blimey, where’s the time gone? It’s now gone beyond 15:00hrs! I’d better get some nosh made up. I’ve got a few beans left from last night. I’ll have some chips and veggie pastie methinks. The chips were Harry Ramsdens. A good name and reputation, even if costly to buy, I’d bought a big bag too. I had to pick out the black eye spuds as I got them into the oven tray.

2: Another Splurt-Plop, messy session.

Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea, and got some low-calorie nibbles put out on the counter, for the Carers. It’s surprising how tasty these little 99 calorie ones are, I knave been known to indulge in one now and then myself.

Got the nosh sorted and served up… but not without the usual mishap… Hey-Ho! My poor little toe! I dropped the sauce bottle and it landed with extreme precision, right on my side-toe bunion. I just laughed it off and carried on.

I ate the nosh and gave it a taste rating of 6.5/10. Then got the TV on, and the Hungary v England Euro game was showing. Then remembered the No-Moo ice cream I had in the freezer, so went and got a big bowl of it to nibble at it while watching the match.

I didn’t like the fans booing at the anti-racist stance kneeling by the England players. But, there can be no disputing that Hungary was the better team on the day. We’re playing Germany next I believe.

The BBC reported: This opening Nations League fixture was due to be played out behind closed doors as part of sanctions imposed by the governing body for racist and homophobic behaviour by Hungarian supporters at Euro 2020. But Hungary exploited what is clearly an obvious loophole in UEFA’s regulations to ensure England was greeted by a large crowd, comprised mainly of children 14 and under accompanied by adults, and the sort of noisy hostility that made a mockery of the idea this night would act as a warning against future transgressions. What should have been stony silence became instead a wall of noise and the game was concluded amid wild scenes of joy and a lap of honour by Hungary’s players after Dominik Szoboszlai’s disputed 66th-minute penalty gave the hosts a 1-0 win.

Hungary’s elation was aided by an England display dripping with mediocrity and fatigue in a truly surreal atmosphere. Fair enough!

Part-way through the game, evening Carer Valerie arrived. She was perkier than usual, which was nice to see. She took a can of refried beans off my hands, as the other can I bought, tasted too strong for my innards to handle. Picked some low-calorie nibbles, grabbed the waste bag on her way out, and we shared farewells. Bless her!

Head down, but again no sleep cometh, tried the TV and that was all crap… then remembered I’d got the DVD working again, so put on a Dr Who disc in.

I watched the first ten minutes or so, then started nodding off and jumping awake, which is a regular occurrence nowadays. I persisted trying to watch a bit in between the nod-offs. Eventually, I got off to sleep for an hour or two, and the last episode was on the screen when I woke.

ODE TO CONFIDENCE

This became obvious and apparent some years ago…
After the stroke, depression became an afterglow,
I waited, thinking an increase in abilities will follow,
But my hopes were dealt many a death blow…

But I’m so much better than other patients, I know…
Some patients didn’t make it, which brought me sorrow,
Since then, Peripheral Neuropathy, a broken toe…
Cataracts, Glaucoma, even some impetigo!
But, Dementia Doreen is the worst furrow!

To fretting, panicking and self-hating, I’m a theow
Yet still want, no need, my caring to show…
No idea if it’s working out yet, though…
People go the other way, rather than say hello…
To the madman, who looks like an overweight scarecrow!

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Inchcock’s Monday, 30th May 2022

MORNING THOUGHT STORMS ODE

ThoughtStorms attack when I’m not at my best…
Vulnerable, trying to sleep, or feeling undistressed,
The brain, with guilt, and fear, brings self-disgust…
I always get myself uptight and newly distressed…
There are no faults or mistakes that can’t be accessed!
Within minutes, I always become depressed!

The torrents of self-hate cannot be suppressed,
Regurgitated mistakes, from the first to the latest…
Minor, severe and the most pleasantest…
They even dig-up long gone thoughts, the absurdest,
Accepting the blame, taking it on the chin & chest…
I find it often less painful and the wisest!

DEMENTIA DOREEN ODE

I’ve considered booking a visit with a Gerontologist…
But I’d probably forget, and the appointment was missed!
As I did the other month with the dentist,
And every appointment with the chiropodist…
Oh, and last appointment with the urologist,
Can I get help from a witch doctor or voodooist?

Hot & cold water taps (faucets) left running,
Food forgot about cooking, burnt… burning,
Falls that leave me bruised and bleeding…
As for my decision-making, I call it dithering!
My concentration and memory constantly withering…
Vascular Dementia Doreen can be most gruelling!

AILMENTS ODE

Thought-Storms, can be depressing and belittling,
Falls on the sock glide, and I need disentangling…
Cataracts: things often walked into and banging,
Toe Stubbing daily; in fact, at this, I am excelling!
Peripheral neurotransmitters unfortunately dying,
Encouraging the odd right leg wobble and dancing…
Shuddering Shoulder Shirley has the torso flailing…

Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, need overhauling,
Mechanic ticker, my fungal lesion, need sorting…
Arthur Itis, Cartilage Kathy, need medicationalisationing…
Glaucoma Gladys, too, and my belching needs muzzling…
Bladder cancer, which can cause havoc wee-weeing!
The old hearing aids can be a little niggling,
But most of all, I could do with my brain recycling!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY 30th MAY 2022

03:15hrs: For the umpteenth time, I sprang into wakefulness. Pondered on getting up, I passed wind and belched, and then I nodded again.

Waking the next time, with the usual jerking and jumping, at 05:25hrs. My mind was confused before I got out of the £300 second-hand c1968 recliner to catch my balance; What day is it? Who’s calling today… is anyone. I think there is… As I rose, got dressed, and found myself in the kitchen, making up some waste bags?

I think I was talking aloud to myself as I suddenly decided to get the ablutions tended to. Off to the wet room with the towel from the airer…

I hit my shoulder on the way through the door; my spatial awareness was obviously impaired this morning. Even as Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley kicked off, I took this in my stride. Even started getting back interest and concentration. But the lackadaisicalness remained. I felt almost laid-back and unconcerned, accepted that things would happen, and saw no point worrying about something? (Not me, at all, what’s was going on here?) No shaving cuts, Dizzy Dennis or Shaking Shaun visits. As I was towelling off, I even remembered that my precious Hristina was on her way to take the DVT blood sample, and the Iceland order was coming twixt 8>10:00hrs.

I finished the waste bag  I’d started earlier and got the computer on. The WordPress blogger was still not letting me open the comments from the editor. Again my outlook changed… I surprised myself at how annoyed I became?

Oh, dearie me, what a messy visit to the Throne it was! Again, it felt like it would be challenging to get the movement started, so I  got the crossword book from the floor cabinet.

How wrong I was! After annoying myself further by failing to make progress with the crossword puzzle, the sloppy mess of an evacuation almost squirted out all over the place. It took me ages to get the area and myself cleaned up, and I was getting hotter under the collar all the time. I became fuming! I went from laid-back to apprehensive, insecure and somewhat pissed off with things?

I was now getting more flummoxed than angry! Changed my PPs (Protection Pants) Confusion Conrad was in charge.

I went back onto the computer and got some photographs loaded. The card reader working seemed to raise my up and down spirits a smidgeon when it let me get them on. This on the right is from last night; I got up at one of the spring awakes to take it.

What was going on with my mood swings? I didn’t understand. But I was whistling to myself as I took this snap of the end car park on Chestnut Way, just beyond Woodthorpe Court. I caught a moving vehicle today! Hehe!

I got the Blood-Pressure and temperature taken. Fair results on the Boot’s all Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China.

My Chinese (Hong Kong) is made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, showed a very low reading this Monday morning (Well. it would do, it’s Monday – Hahaha!), at 34°c.

I went to make a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea, and ♫ Oh, Susana.. ♫ rang from the door chime. It was my new pal and Carer, Richard. I got him a cold drink to help him cool down; the lad has Diabetes, and sweats all the time, Bless him. A right pair we are; Richard is sweating while I am shivering. Hehe! He looked tired and said he’d not gotten much sleep during his couple of days off. Poor lad! He wasn’t moaning, just answering when I asked him how he’s been sleeping. Rich got the medications sorted and watched me take them, so I didn’t drop any. Then made the wristlet alarm check call for me. I wanted to natter away with him, but I could see he was all in, so I resisted.

After the man had departed, I went on the Google calendar. To check for anything I might have forgotten about. Or put on the wrong day and or time. Haha! Hehehe! I’ve just seen how funny that must have sounded, me; forgetting something… there’s almost a guarantee that I will! I got onto the Sunday blog, updated it, and posted it to WordPress. My gumption seems to have been lifted somewhat by seeing Richard, my Lionheart Carer. If he’s feeling better tomorrow, we can have a better nattering session.

Hello, I think someone above it having some repairs done. A lot of drilling and hammering noises started. Had a wee-wee.

Off to the wet room, I hobbled. I was bending down to retrieve a pencil I’d dropped, and as I wobbled down towards it… a warm damp sensation emanated from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion’s location inside the PPs! Only a tiny spot of bleeding; I was most surprised that it registered with the brain…

An unexpected case of, I got myself washed yet again, freshened up the wee-wee-sprayed legs, and put the trousers in soak. On my removing the pants to put new ones on, what had happened became embarrassingly apparent. It’s a good life innit old age! However, I coped with it pretty calmly, especially compared to how things were earlier in the morning! In fact, I adopted a well deserved.

I was doing the top ode for this blog, and ♫ Oh, Susana.. ♫ rang from the door chime. This time it was heaven-sent Hristina. The DVT haematology nurse comes to take my blood sample for the Warfarin test. Now my spirits were at their peak for the day!

I’d let her down, though. I’d let Dementia Doreen allow me to throw away the wrong part of last week’s assessment and dosages record. She was so sweet about it, though. It caused her to be delayed a while, having to make up a new one. Selfishly, it gave my eyes a little longer to cast over her beauty… Getting carried away there, sorry!

The free Iceland delivery arrived. And the man out the carriers in the doorway for me. But, after getting them through to the kitchenette to sort out, I found a few things that I was not too happy about. I had ordered three 500g bags of small Jersey new potatoes… This above on the right is what they substituted them with: Three 2.5kg bags of potatoes! Is that not 25 times more spuds than I ordered? Hailing Professor Bill Ziegler, in Lab 28, at Manor Laboratories Time Machine Creation wing! (He has a slide rule, you see!), and Tim Price in New Mexico (He has a Mac computer!) for help. And neither of them suffers from Arithmophobia, like wot I do. Hehehe!

However, they also had no (6) sliced bread rolls (£1). But substituted rolls of four rolls that were 2 for £1, charging 85p! I think? Anyway,  they also sent Moroccan tomatoes. That was my own fault (Doreen Dementia, perhaps?) for forgetting how foul they tasted last time I got some! I suppose I could put them out for the rats, but I’m not that cruel! The Strawberries, 3 for £5, two had a day’s life, the other today’s date! They had some beefburger cobs for Richard’s treats on the plus side.

The fridge was looking fuller now, at least. Some stuff is inedible, like the killer tomatoes from Morocco. You’d have laughed seeing me try to make room in the freezer for the potato chips to get in. I distinctly remember being dubious over which of the two packets above to buy, and at the time of my ordering, I realised that there would only be room for one. I thought I’d only ordered one of them… Dementia Doreen again?

After spending several hours writing and amending my mistakes on this blog, I decided it was time to get some nosh… Great balls of fire! It’s 17:00hrs already!!!! The evening carer will be here soon! Gotten Himmel, where did the day go?

Hehe! I took a picture of the evening sky before it started getting dark. Please tell me you can see an animal in the clouds… this was probably noticed with the help of Cataract Kathleen, with support from Glaucoma Gladys.

I made an order for Morrisons to save having it at the weekend. I hope I can get the chips into the fridge… that’s the real reason I ordered this: the fresh curry battered chips. They tasted fantabulous! Guilty!

Got the nosh sorted out. I halved the potatoes I boiled earlier and got them in the oven to crisp off. There are a few crappy, horrible halved Moroccan tomatoes (Eurgh!), the last veg burger, and the last honey yoghourt. It was not too good. Taste 3.3/10.

I was just finishing with the meal, and ♫ Oh. Susana ♫ chimed out, and in came Carer Valerie. Val got the medications sorted, and I took them. I’m glad it was Val cause O could give her one of the massive bags of potatoes that Iceland overloaded me with and know they will not go to waste. The other one is for Richard in the morning, that is, if he wants it, of course. (Well, it seemed a good idea? Hehe!) Thanked Valerie; she took the waste bag as she left; bless her.

Then, the most dubious mission of the day… Trying to get and stay asleep! Mission impossible? Yes, it was! I put the TV on, there was nothing to watch, but that didn’t matter. Usually, I nod off during the commercial breaks, which I did on just about every one of them for three hours, but I only slept for a few minutes, and I shot back awake all the time (of the three hours). Sweet Morpheus was in a proper cantankerous mood!

Memo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit!

Inchcock: Diary & Ode Sat 28th May 2022

MEANDERING MORNING ODE

That should be befuddlement. Ahem!

Looking Back…
In my 20’s, I was known for my efficient fecundity…
Now due to Doreen’s Dementia, I fear discongruity,
I was fit, capable, popular, lit up a room fulgently…
The mind and body fail, leaving inefficacity,
I was praised for my willpower and social feracity!
Now, I am full of inconsequentiality, inferiority,
Decisions were made, taken almost nonchalantly…
Now my brain’s shared twixt dormancy, quiescently,
The few decisions I make now, I do negligently!

The Ailments…
The ailments increasing, I try to meet acceptingly.
When they first started, I reacted rather petulantly…
Some of the new ones give me hassle persistently,
Glaucoma Gladys, Cartilage Cathy & Cataract Kathy,
One that can be nasty is Peripheral Neuropathy…
Nicodemus’ Neurotransmitters can have me falling,
Deaf Duane in both ears, Duodenal Donald, appalling!
Saccades Sandra, makes me see blurry,
The ankle gives way after the Stroke every day.
Hard to keep my balance, but I recover gradually…
The jumping away can have me off of the settee!

On Reflection…
There’s no benefit in moaning and grumbling,
If you’re going to go over, it’s only tumbling…
How hard and where you fall can leave you bleeding…
But a scrape and a bruise is the likeliest thing…
Somehow, I get through them without hospitalising,
I must have had more luck without realising…
At five, I was thrown into the canal, nearly drowning,
I’ve been shot twice and got a battering…
How I’m still here is somewhat baffling…

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

SATURDAY 28TH MAY

04:20hrs: After so many jumping awakes, I had my last one. I was fed up with not sleeping for more than ten minutes or so and got up for a wee-wee. Which proved to be the reason I stayed up…

① Getting the jammie bottoms untied to whip them down, I got in a right mess. The waste cord knot was not to be unknotted!

There I was, fumbling to get the cord untied, and the pre-dribbling started! The embarrassment and panic of the warm wet sensation trickling down my inner legs and jammies made unlocking the knot even harder to get done… I gave up and forced things down… But there was worse to come…

③ I felt the pain as I got over the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), and the bladder was hurting. It felt, to me, like a torrent as if a fireman’s hosepipe was being released… But no! On closer inspection, it was barely trickling, and what bit was coming out sprayed all over the place! But there was worse to come…

④ I saw the blood on my hands as I manipulated things to avoid my having splashes on the carpet.

⑤ Yes, Little Inches Fungal Lesion was bleeding; I suppose all the rushing and pulling to get the cord freed. A little naughty language was uttered. But there was more to come…

⑥ Due to the mixture of waste liquid and blood, I wiggled more than walked with the bucket to get it emptied and sanitised. As I got in the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on the server trolley wheel. But there was still more to come…

⑦ After cleaning the bucket, and getting another one with Dettol disinfectant, to clean up the overspray and spillages in the front room, I turned and knocked the Dettol bottle off the side of the sink. I’ve known one of those plastic bottles to split open before! Cleaned it up, and as if a robot… a disheartened robot, went to clean the front room. Which I managed without any further bother… until…

⑧ I went to take the jammies off and soak them in disinfectant and washing powder. And the need to visit the Porcelain Throne arrived. I wasn’t done with cock-ups yet…

⑨ I knocked my toe against the clothes airer’s wheel, and it was possibly the most excruciating stub ever! I could feel the bile rising now!

⑩ I got in and down on the seat, watching the blood drip from Little Inchies lesion, but there was no pain coming from it? More confusion! The evacuation was reluctant to start, so O got the cream and washed and ointmentated the lesion as I waited for the action to start, back onto the Throne. A sudden spurt, and it was all over in seconds… But what a mess to clean up! Almost liquid! So, I got on with the job, rinsed the jammie bottoms and put them back in a fresh bucket of antiseptic. Then I cleaned my nether regions and got new PPs (Protection Pants).

The relief when I’d got everything sorted was phenomenal. I even think I started singing… Cliff Richard’s ♫’The Young Ones’♫. I believe it was the first one.

I’d come out of it well, really. Apart from the fungal lesion now starting to hurt and Harold’s Haemorrhoids stinging. The stubbed toe had died down, and I put the kettle on.

Self-Satisfied…

That was a rather nasty, severe start to the day,
Believe it or not, the memory is now far away…
I coped and managed, my recovery well underway,
In fact, I’m pleased with myself, I can honestly say!
I got through it all, my depression flewaway!
Mind you, I’m expecting the next coming malady…
There are bound to be more, as there is every day,
No signs of my moaning-mopes left or paranoia!
But the wee-wees stay, frequently with overspray…
I genuinely think this may be a better Saturday!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –.

I got on the computer and loaded the pictures for yesterday’s blog updating and got it done. Very late now, and no carer yet? Ah, it’s the weekend, I forgot. Usually late Sat and Sun.

I took some photos, but the SD reader has gone on strike again, Humph!

Aha! This morning’s Carer was Sara! I was already cheered up with the disasters of this morning finishing; this gave me an extra boost in spirits, Sarah coming. A lovely gal likes a natter, and she is responsive. ☻♥ Got the medications sorted; Sarah always watches me take them if I drop any or one comes back up. She knows I’d likely not see or notice if they did, Bless her. I wish they all did that.

I said my farewells, and my mood lowered a smidgeon when she left, but it was still higher than for ages. I had considered going into a Smug-Mode with getting through the early morning cacophony of cock-ups… but resisted,

I’d better go on the WordPress Reader and comment section now.

How disappointing… Makes me sick!

.

Can’t get on WordPress Comments or save owt! I gave up and got some nosh made. Battered red potato fritters, tomatoes, veg burger and banana to follow. The cakes were too sweet for my taste, but I ate them all. Rated: 7.2/10.

My luck really is changing from this morning. Went to get the ablutions tended to; better late than never. Just one cut shaving, nowt serious, and few dropsies (razor x 2, toothbrush, loofah, and short-picker-upperer), but I had the short picker-upperer to hand. No knocks, dizziness, headbangs, toe-stubbing, Shaking-Shauns, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, or shoulder charging the door frame!

Got dressed so I looked reasonably sane for when the Carer called. (I’ve made a vow not to be naked. Topless or bottomless again, when a nurse or Carer arrives! I’ve been caught with no trousers on by Nicola and no top on by Valerie up to now – Tsk!) I can lock the door and strip off after whoever comes has gone.

I tried the computer again, and it let me load some photographs to my delight. But VDD (Vascular Dementia Doreen) is making it hard for me to recall the time when I took them, although some are obvious. I got them into CorelDraw to resize. And…

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chimed out, and in walked the evening Carer, Sarah (With an H). She soon sorted the medications, and I insisted she take a tipple and a nibble in; thanks to her. Which she did and took the waste bag out to the chute for me on her way

I locked the door and stripped off, feeling much easier now. Funny how all the cock-ups were got rid of in the early hours today; I’m pleased with that! Then got the photos; some I could remember were put on roughly chronologically. Others I’ll show here:

Rescued Photographs…

Obviously, I must have taken these two in the early hours, although I can’t remember taking them now?

VDD playing me up again. I suppose it is possible I got up during the night to take these? They cost me a lot of time tweaking to get them to be recognisable as what they are.

A mid-morning picture of the end car park on Chestnut Way, mayhaps, taken from the balcony, no doubt. I vaguely recall not being able to open the spring lock on the window and taking it through the glass pane.

I’m sure I had a paranoia moment with this one. I think I could see a face in the central cloud, but it seems to be hiding from me now. Such a shame. I could see a face and a monster in it on the right with this effort. At the time, I think another animal, but that too had been removed by VDD (Vascular Dementia Doreen). This last one of the trio on the left, which held several pairs of eyes and noses when I took it, still does, but somehow far fewer are found?

Ah, the expensive sweet potato battered fritters meal. I did eat it all. But the oversweetness of the potatoes took the edge off it. I already wrote about this, haven’t I? Humph!

Proof of my dedication to losing some fat from my midriff area. Where folds of fat, as it wobbles at the slightest movement. This on the left; was my last inside photograph taken today. It shows my bravely self-imposed limit; I’m allowing myself to nibble chocolate! With crumbs dropped from my nocturnal nibblings in the £300 second-hand, ageing, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working, recliner, cling in the channels of blubber.

No more supposedly well-intended, opening a bar of chocolate, working on the computer, thinking, “Ah, I’ll have another lump of that chocolate” – and finding it had all gone! No More – Never-Again! I have complete faith in my determination to lose weight from my substantively gross belly! Four pieces maximum from now on!

Sleep was stubborn and refused to allow me to nod off. Sweet Morpheus teased me as it got later, and would permit me to drift off, then minutes late startle into wakefulness with a jump! So, I got up and pottered about in the kitchen, taking photos of the changing evening view from the kitchenette window. I spotted some figures in clouds, particularly in the second photo. Not that I can see it now. Humph! Thanks, Doreen Dementia! The close up I took of the orange ribbon of light did not come out very well at all. But I’ve put it on anyway. To show the changing views on offer tonight. The last effort, about ten minutes after the one before, I did like it. Had more contrasting hues and colours, I thought. Back into the recliner, hoping to sleep…