Early December 2021: Local News Snippets – With Sarcastic comments

With Sarcastic Comments

This semi-political Local News Snippets Report,
Is unsuitable for any laughter-unliking spoilsport,
But suitable for anyone liking jolly fun and rapport!
With comments that offer humour in their retort…
This way, cause Inchies taking Morphine and Ocu-Cort®,
With Prednisone® and Methylprednisolone in support…
I must remind him of his next visit to court!

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Local News Snippets…

Well, not good news to view,
Wearing a face mask… are you?
We’ve been told that we should do!
No? Well, then you bloody-well ought to!

New cases in Nottingham. The last 7 days is 1305!
How many of them in a week will still be alive?
Not wearing a mask? How many lives will you deprive?
By permitting the new Omicron bug to thrive?
Anti-maskers?… Time for firmer punishments to arrive!

Seems to me that Tories defunding the Constabulary,
And increasing the pretend policemen auxiliary…
Has increased the amounts of muggings and burglary,
And their success in convictions has dropped, similarly,
By their softly-softly approach and being conciliary,
And poor Ethsham Ul Hag Ghafoor’s heartbroken family

Has owt gone more warped, diseased than Joe Public?
Shoplifting, driving with no insurance, licence, dogmatic?
More murders, stabbings, muggins, they go at it,
Youngsters mope around, cunningly looking apathetic,
More morons on, than off drugs, and antisemitic,
Yet ready to fight anyone else who’s anti-Islamic?
Gobby, and leery to the point of being semantic,
Yet they unhappily don’t stop acting demagogic?
No desires to learn and be semasiologic,
They take any drug they can steal, but just a tick…
They could get from, say, mushrooms a similar kick?
And get them free from the wood – the type that is magic!

I know I don’t get out much nowadays,
And when I do, I get the shakes and mind haze,
Or fall over and put me in a daze…
For months now, and this may amaze…
I’ve not seen a uniformed policeman in over 120 days!


The gal was just going for some milk & bread,
But she had to meet with this druggy instead!
Who bashed her about her head…
Threatened her with a knife, it’s been accredited…
Said he’d burn her face, that already bled…
He should be taken quietly to an allotment shed…
And hopefully, they’ll find his mangled body later – Dead!

I thought wearing a mask was to prevent you from passing it on?
But who knows with this new Corona strain, Omicron?
To me, it’s sensible to put a facemask on?
Has all compassion and caring now gone?
It matters not where it came from, China, Africa or Saigon…
Proof again, humans have less compassion than a Klingon!

This one (Statement) must have taken a lot of working out,
I imagined they would come up with some cringing words…
Two days it took the get it out…
This is what they said…

Shit, I can’t find it now! That wasn’t the statement, Hehehe!

Well, well, well!

Did you see that they used a photo of two Police Officers…
In Nottingham? Note he is wearing short sleeves? It must have been summer when they took this photograph. Cause, apart from when the Muslims, Black Lives Matter, Anti-Face maskers, National Front (UK), Student Demands, and any other protest group are protesting in Nottingham. I have not seen any officers for months now in the City Centre. Plenty of shoplifters, muggers, beggars, rough sleepers and the likes, though.

And I’ve got appointments not to be missed…
The Doctors, I mustn’t get a brain-fog, for the phlebotomist,
Then I’ve to go for my virus booster at the local chemist,
Got some forms to fill in with the Doctors receptionist…
Ah, and the scary, gonna hurt a lot visit to the Dentist!
Make an appointment about the Saccades at the optometrist,
January, the Deep Vein Thrombosis, and the cardiologist!…

The Nottingham Lads News Snippets in Ode Series

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Late Extra! Read All Abarght it!

This could happen to anyone…
Shaving and getting bloody kneed,
Peripheral Pete’s fault; Is that agreed?
Well, I dropped a razor, grabbed at it…
Never mind, you wouldn’t have believed…
The mess I got in, bloody indeed…
It’s a new body and brain that I need!

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Inchcock: His First Sporting Triumph – Well, I say triumphs…

Inchcock: His First Sporting Triumph

Well, not exactly

I dreamt of playing for the school at football,
I couldn’t dribble or kick a ball, but that didn’t matter at all,
The pneumonia epidemic had stuck in the fall,
Not many players are well enough and available at all,
Then, from desperation, the coach did call!
You’re in the team, cup match, we need a win, vital,
Having to ask me, I knew he felt contemptible.

I dare not let them down, or I’d suffer a keelhaul,
Matchday, I arrived first, at my 4’3″ tall,
Regarding the rules, my knowledge was minimal,
Cold, raining, and then the fog began to fall…
Players, neither team had the wherewithal.

An eight-a-side to play agreement was made
We took to the field, the rain began to squall,
“You’re in goal Chambers!” Any position I’ll be ineffectual,
I jumped but couldn’t reach the crossbar at all,
What an introduction to school football!

The fog got heavier, and the coaches got conflictual,
We were down 13-0, the coach said it was only 12!
A fight ensued, but injuries were only minimal,
They decided to go into the gym, to play football,
When we got inside, and we’d lost some footfall…
Lads from both sides absconded, no longer visual,
Anyway, someone had nicked the ball!

Part Of The Nottingham Lads Tales Of Woe – In bad Rhyme Series

I’m Determined to destroy Depression!

I’m Determined to destroy Depression!

I decided, in a dream, I had yesternight,
Depression, I’ll resist, beat and outfight,
I must be strong, determined, not contrite,
I’ll be honest with myself, not like a Blairite,
My approach, will-power, must be definite!
I’ll have courage, like a brave medieval Knight,
And continue to show my vigour and fight,
Although my confidence may be finite,
This misery, I will surely try to expedite,
I must give this depression, no respite,
Ridding myself of this soul-destroying plight,
Who knows if I can, I just possibly might?
Then hopefully, I’ll get some sleep tonight,
And for supper, I can have some toasted Marmite!

Created during an aberrant spell of semi-confidence.

No Brexiteers were harmed during the production of this waffle!

Inchcock Today – Wed 27 Mar 2019: A diverse, niggly, oddly-most day!

Wednesday 27th March 2019

Scots Gaelic: Diciadain 27 Màrt 2019

23:54hrs. I woke up reluctantly. A throbbing headache and Shaking Shaun and Dizzy Dennis toying with me, all at the same time. I lay there, feeling a tad dispirited and waited until things calmed down. Shaking Shaun let go of my body first. Dizzy Dennis later, but the headache remained, throbbing away. I remembered I have the food delivery coming twixt 06:00 > 00:700hrs. No blood test this week. I felt there was something else to be aware of, but could not pinpoint it. Eventually, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. I manipulated my grossly over-stomached body free of the £300 second-hand, ci1968 rickety recliner, and off to the wet room.

The legs and feet felt much improved this morning, (not the knees, they were Arthur Itis affected in the extreme) as I walked far easier than of late. The evacuation went well, despite it being of the mini-rugby ball style. Made a nice change that did, Hehe!

The legs knees had lost a lot of warpedness, the lower shins had gained some blue tinge spots, many blood papsules seem to have disappeared, and the pale anaemicness had been replaced with the yellow pigmentation again. Still, it is interesting to find out how and what on the pins has changed each morning. Hehe! It took my mind off of the throbbing head for a while.

Got the kettle on and the Health Checks done. Sys 145, Dia 78, Pulse 78 and Temp 35.1°. Took the medications, then I  got the computer on and began to update the Tuesday blog.

Hours later (without any wee-weeing!) I got it finished and sent off. 

To the kitchen to make a brew of tea. I took two snaps of the morning skyline through the unwanted light and view-blocking windows with the glass that it is impossible to reach to clean. The first one I used Gold Auto mode, the second, Green Auto mode? The green was far closer to how the sky actually looked.

Well, well, well. It had to happen because it hadn’t happened for ages now. I stubbed my corn toe on the edge of the cupboard bottom. Naturally, being the refined person I am, there were no cursing, swearing or unhealthy words uttered. (Fib Mode Detected!) Hehehe!

I made up a Morning Thought ode and graphic for today’s Inchcock Today. I may well be a poetaster and baviaan (a writer of insignificant, meretricious, and shoddy poetry), but I love writing it.

I began this post and got as far as here on it. Aha, a wee-wee needed. Ten minutes later another was required. Both of these were of the SNSWW (Short-No-Sensation-Wee-wee) variety.

I went on Pinterest to put some photographs on, then to Facebook.

Tended to the ablutions next. Which went well, no shaving cuts, Harolds Hemorrhoids not bleeding, no toe stubbing, and no knocks or bruises… well, at first anyway.

The fun and games (pain and agony might have been a better description) of getting the new Amazon bought, men’s diabetic long bamboo-fibre socks with stretch non-tight tops on, proved dangerous, harmful and more effort than I would have liked! But all the same, if you could have seen my efforts, you would have been in tucks. Even I was! The right leg was not to difficult, and idiotically, I let a touch of ‘Smugness-Mode’ creep in. The real show was with the left leg. I kept getting up to rest on the right leg while I got the sock rolled up ready – and it kept springing off, repeatedly. I gained two new bruises and a scratch, as the leg clouted the floor cabinet corner, the floor and once the Porcelain bowl! Finally, I changed tactics and lifted the leg with the sock in hand to try to avoid resting it to get the sock on – got it on and fell backward hitting the back of my head on the door! That did the headache a lot of good! Oy Vey, I’ll be glad when the sock glide becomes available for me to collect from the surgery. But when that is likely to be, is anyone’s guess!

Still, once I got them both on, I found they were very comfortable and came up above the knees.

Just leaving me with the concerns about them off later, to worry about! Hehehe!

Unfortunately, I found the socks were creeping down below the knees minutes later. Humph! But, I’m getting used to living with my being pitifully accident-prone and luckless. I suppose I’ll just have to accept that I’ll never enjoy oblectation or success ever again! Grumph!

I made a brew and got on the computer to update today’s badinage, while I waited for the food to arrive.

Dang me! I’ve got earache now to accompany the cephalalgy! Tsk!

07:50hrs now. The Ocado order is due between 07:00>08:00hrs.

I looked out of the unwanted light and view-blocking new kitchen window, with its unable to access areas to clean, to see if any signs of the delivery could be sited. Nope! Just a line of tenants parked cars, none reversed into.

I had a look at the Ocado site.

It seems they are having problems. Order status, ‘We are preparing your order’ it said? Not good, is it!

08:15hrs, no food from Ocado yet?

I went on CorelDraw.

What a plonka! I’d ordered the food for the evening, not morning! Tsk! So now I have to stay awake if I can manage it. Globstuckenists!

I got the things ready and went to the Nottingham City Homes, Winwood Heights, Hauptbereitschaftsleiteress Warden’s Temporary HQ. Sarcasm & Insult distribution area. Tenants Socialisationistical Meeting Shed. Telling Inchcock off Zone. Where things like crockery and pottery get stolen from, Rumourmongering Clinic, and somewhere to rest while waiting for the bus, Portakabin.

I called to see Frank on the way out. Jenny is still very poorly.

I felt terrible for Jenny and Frank. Off to the hut. Running the gauntlet of vehicular dangers.

No one in. A few tenants arrived, and I had a chinwagging session with them. But, Dizzy Dennis attacked me, and the Porcelain Throne summoning visited again. So I decided to return back to the flat and not go out today. I wasn’t in a good mood or feeling on top form anyway. As I went through the lobby, I spotted a washing machine was not in use. I got up to the flat ASAP, Porcelain Throne duties carried out, then back down with the washing.

Back up to the apartment and had a wee-wee, then back down with the crossword book, to the lobby.

Got the washer going, and had a natter with some people who I did not know for a while. I moved the gear to the dryer.

Doris and Mo, then Gaynor arrived and stopped for a chinwag and laugh. I had another a go at the crossword puzzles, with the help of Malcolm and Mo. Well, they laughed at my failure with the crossword. Hehe!

The headache and the knees and feet were all giving me hassle. I was getting irritable with myself, and feeling so tired again. Not getting out, didn’t help I suppose.

Got the dried stuff folded and in the bag. Cleaned the filter and drum, and up to the flat. Not in a good mood for some reason, still getting irked at myself.

I set about getting the meal prepped when the phone rang. IT was Sister Jane, who had left her phone on loudspeaker, and I could not understand much that she was saying. She took the speaker off, and things improved. “Will I be in on Friday around 10:00hrs, as she and Pete would pay me a visit?” I explained about the possible Emails. I am expecting about the sock-glide, the GUM clinic, and the Kidney appointments, all to give me a time to go to the relative place. She told me to ring her if I was not going to be in. I agreed, as was too nervous not to. Haha! The mess she will see in the flat will not go down well.

I got my clothes off and the glorious old slippers on. Then the computer on to update this blog. (You watch it, someone will call on or ring me now!) 

Got the nosh sorted out and served up.

Chips with stewed steak and a sourdough baguette to soak up the gravy with.

Got the nosh eaten up.

 Not one of my best efforts. 5/10 Flavour rating. Washed the pots and got in the second-hand, £300 ci1968 recliner to watch some TV.

Determined not to fall asleep and miss the late Ocado delivery… Zzzz!

By pure good luck, I woke at 1830hrs in need of a meg-mega, slow trickling wee-wee! And realised I had to rise, get some clothing on, and get ready for the food delivery.

Which came at 1920hrs.

I found that the tray of five Sicilian tomatoes had now gone up to… wait for it…

This will surprise you, it did me!

£5! Cor blimey! Love a duck!

I got on the computer to update this diary.

I got as far as here, and just had to stop and get some kip.

No doubt about it, a diverse oddlymost day!


Inchcock Today – Thursday 19th April 2018: Better day today!

Thursday 19th April 2018

Welsh: Dydd Iau, 19 Ebrill 2018

0235hrs: No need for any pandiculating this morning. I’d been laying here trying to get to sleep for hours, and decided I might just as well get up. Humph!

The first signs of movement seemed to encourage the need for a wee-wee.

So, out of £300 second-hand recliner and off to the wet room.

Again, like earlier in the night, it was a wee-wee blast of enormous strength, but only last a few seconds?

I also noticed that the vein area on the ‘Nurse Ann’ attacked blood-giving right arm was bruised and clotted.

Nurse Anns revenge? Hahaha!

Tended to the Health Checks next.

The pulse had shot up to 101, the temperature to 32.3, I wonder if this is linked to the jetting out wee-wee bursts?

I set on to updating the Wednesday Diary and got it posted at 0400hrs.

Checked the emails. One from the surgery had arrived with the blood-test results. The anticoagulation doses; Mon 2 Tues 2 Wed 2 .5 Thurs 2 Fri 2 Sat 2 Sun 2. The INR Warfarin level was 2.1, so I must take care not to slash my wrists today, cause with the blood so thin, it will be too late to change my mind. Haha!

Started updating this post up to here, and remembered the Morrison delivery is coming twixt 0630 > 0730hrs. So, I got the ablutions tended to early, to be ready for its arrival.

Off to the wet room. Did the teggies, then when shaving I noticed the blotches all over the face? Looks like black-heads on the nose, too? Not keen on this development.

An excellent in-depth stand-up scrub-up, medicationalisationing and got dressed.

Made a brew. And guess what…

Turned everything off and restarted. Eventually, it returned. It’s times like this that any Virgin Customers willingly and gratefully paying the third increase in fees, tend to feel compassion for the multi-billionaire who bought Virgin Media off of Richard Branson.

Further added to this diary, then went to the WordPress reader.

Read and replied to comments. Had a wee-wee, things seem to be getting back to normal in this department (Apart from the frequency).

The Morrison Delivery arrived.

Got them put away. The sourdough bread for the Wardens arrived, and the toasties for Jenny were delivered. Topped up the bag for the Social Hour.

Sorted the black waste bags and took them to the chute. All ready and prepared, and out to the Social Hour.

Got to the shed on Chestnut Walk, and turned to take this picture of the flats with the new build for new tenants with Extra Care needs. Looking good to me. Now up to the roof, I think. Shame it will block the view for the current old resident on the lower floors, but this can’t be helped.

Entered the hut, it was early yet, so not many folks around. Cyndy and Margaret and four other ladies, with four gents.

I dropped the sourdough loaf off in the Obergruppenfurheress’s office. My EQ told me of a sense, an aura, of dubiety, incertitude and mistrustfulness hung in the air. This was an uncomfortable feeling for me. Of course, I may be wrong, but my EQ is usually right.

Went in the big room and had a chat with Jenny. She was in her usual good form this morning. Gave her toasties for the Saturday crowd and she thanked me. No need, indeed, bless her, after all the things she’s done to help me.

I had a chat with Cyndy and the others. Then handed round the nibble box and had a laugh or two doing so.

In this photo, is Bill on the left, Cyndy in white and Margaret with her back to me in the checked dress. I asked the girls if my face was red an blotchy, but they said not?

I sat down with Bill (William on Sundays) and John. They helped me with the crosswords today. Then I handed out my raffle tickets to two different tenants this week.

I departed early, to catch the 1030hrs bus. Offering my farewells as I left the happy crew.

I caught the Bestwood bound bus, along with many other residents.

Who nearly all got off in Sherwood, leaving me all on my own on the bus to go to Arnold. Hehe!

Anne got off last on Edwards Lane.

A lot of other passengers got on, some (I am well-pleased to say) I am on greeting terms with now.

The weather was so warm today. Made me realise that soon the fresh pod-peas will be available and the Tree Copse would bloom for me to walk through and admire.

I got off at the Sainsburys store. Someone had told that this shop sells the ‘Pick-up-Sticks’. However when I inquired of a member of staff, she said they used to, but don’t any longer. Shame!

I went to seek some of the flavoured bottles of tomato sauce so I can use them with eating my Polish Pork in beans.

I was most pleased to find that they were on offer at £1 a jar. Morrisons who I nearly ordered some off of, charge £2 a jar, same size. Is my luck changing? I bought four bottles of different flavoured ones. Plus a small pot of onion-salt.

Out and caught an L9 bus back to the flats.

I took a photograph at the Mansfield Road junction, I aimed to get a shot of the Daybrook Church in it. But failed miserably by taking the photo too late.

Still, I got one of the refurbished Cooper-Brook Hotel and restaurant. This would be handy for me to enjoy a get-away couple of days sometime, perhaps. Because with the L9 bus passing it should be easy for me get to and back from?

It is years, too many for my liking since I had a break.

I took another shot, as the bus turned into the estate it travels through in Daybrook. This one is to give an idea, for my American, Canadian and Australian TFZer pals of a Nottingham Housing Estate.

As we passed by the Nottingham City Hospital, I took another failed effort of a picture. Shmendrik! I tried to make a snapshot of the vast staff flat car park and the hundreds of vehicles, but, as you can see, I took it too late, we were too far down the hill for me to capture them. Tsk!

I got some acute-tingling sensations in my fingers after taking this effort. New to me these are, but I had difficulty sensing anything with them for a few minutes. Now, what could cause this to happen?

When we arrived in Sherwood, I could see many of my fellow tenants waiting at the bus stop.

I was so determined to get a decent photograph this time. I did my bestest with the hands tingling away again.

But no. I only caught one of the five or six residents in the shot. Shmeggege!

Back at the flats, I waited until all the others had got off, then joined them.

On the hobble to Woodthorpe Courts, I heard the sound of emergency vehicle sirens, I thought they were coming my way, so I whipped out my camera.

A fire tender came along the road and stopped at my block of flats. Then another. Then yet another one. Followed by Fire Service car.

By the time I had limped and caught up with the others waiting outside, the officers gave us permission to go in. In the lift, some of the others said they heard the officers talking about a smell of gas in the caretaker’s room? As far as we all know, the flats have been all electric powered from when they were built in 1964?

The others got off on their floors, and I got into my noisy, Willmott-Dixon bashed-about apartment.

The banging from upstairs was very loud, the worst I have ever been in for. It started at 1250hrs and went on until 1320 hrs. I assumed it was the workers doing something up there, despite it being their lunch-break time. No doubt a coincidence that the noises were all metallic sounding.

I put the small potatoes on in the crock-pot and put the few things I’d bought away.

Had a wee-wee, made a brew, and did the Health Checks.

Then, I stuck the camera out through the kitchen window and snapped the fire tenders still there below on Chestnut Drive.

I viewed my beloved Tree Copse, slowly getting filled out now. I could still see through the trees yet. But, with the weather being so beautiful out there, it shouldn’t be long until it is walkable through, for me. It is a lot warmer outside than it is in the apartment!

As I closed the window, I mused on if I could stay awake long enough, I could take a walk through it later…

I trapped my finger in the frame as I got the camera back in.

I’ve used an old photograph to show what happened, cause the one I took now, has done another disappearing into the ether trick on me! Humph!

Well beyond my head-down time, but the potatoes are nowhere near cooked yet. Only tiny ones too?

I did next weeks Morrison order.

I popped to the OBergruppenfurheresses’ Hut, to ask Warden Deana what flat number Cyndy and Eric lived at, cause I’d forgotten. Then nipped up and asked them if they would like the tray of chicken thighs I’d overordered from Morrisons. Luckily they accepted, so that saved the food going to waste. Back to the flat.

I had a bash at Facebooking. Fingers crossed it will let me. It was okay with me tonight, but I’ve got to get me nosh and head down, now. I’ll be back (Did you note that Arnyism there, Hehe!) in the morning to finish this diary off. TTFN.

Friday morning now folks. I’ll update this twaddle now.

Got the fodder sorted.

A 7/10 for this one. The potatoes spoilt it with their being bitter tasting.

Notwithstanding how tired I felt, sleep would not come as it usually does. I did have the odd moments of nodding off, but they lasted only seconds at a time. Which was annoying, but I did get to watch two episodes of the Hustle series for a change.

When sleep did come, it was sudden, I just flaked out light a light.

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 15th March 2017

Wednesday 15th March 2017

Uzbek: Chorshanba, 15 Mart 2017

0245hrs: Woke still tasting the excellent meal from last night. Perhaps I’d overdone the flavourings just a bit?  Hehe!

The dreams I’d been having were unretrievable in any detail from my muddled depressed brain. I just knew they had been not nice and muddled?

Spotted that I had not washed the pots either, there they lay on the tray, in the chair next to the £300 second-hand recliner, dried bits clinging to the dish and the aroma had permeated everywhere. No wonder I thought I could still taste it. Humph!

Sprayed some air-freshener around and got the things in soak in the bowl in the sink and let them soak in bleach and washing-up liquid. Anne Gyna started kicking me all over and around the chest cavity early today as I made my way to the porcelain room for a heavy duty session. Not as good as yesterday this one. Haemorrhoid Harold was not as painful, but he had bled a lot, more mess to clean up and clothes to wash. Arthur Itis, Reflux Roger and Hernia Harry were all in a good mood with me. Duodenal Donald began joining in with Anne Gyna playing me up, and the pain forced me to take extra Codeines. Shame I can’t get the morphine sulphate again, they were effective so much more. I’m sure others have got this problem and a lot worse than I, but the constant grinding pains when two of the little aches and pains playing up together stops your concentration, and this brings on extra Whoopsiedangleplops I’m sure. Still, mustn’t complain, many others in a worse state than I am. (I did just complain didn’t I? Sorry about that).

A nice strong mug of Thompson’s wonderful tea and took the medications.

Carried out the Health Checks.

The weight continues to increase over the last few days?

Oh, dear!

The Sys seems to be lower this week up to now, and the Pulse is positively racing away?

Could I find the thermometer this morning? I looked in the drawer where I usually store it with the BP machine, then in all the other drawers. I use it only in the kitchen but still searched around for it in all the other rooms, drawers etc.

Got the computer on to update the diaries. Checking the email, found a reminder that had arrived from Morrison’s that the delivery is on its way.

Went into the kitchen to juggle the fodder in the freezer to make room to put the bread in later. Decided to have another mug of tea – and there it was in the cutlery drawer – The thermometer! Sad, is not a strong enough word is it?

Did the ablutions.

While shaving in the little mirror, I noticed a colourful area on the back lower left arm. Tried to photograph it in the mirror.

I’m not sure what it was or what had caused this decorative scare. No idea at all really. But it didn’t hurt unless I caught it against anything and there was no itching or scratching?

Dressed and made a mug of tea, but the milk had gone off. Tsk!

The moon was hanging in there this morning.

0643hrs, Morrison delivery due in the next hour.

Hello, the intercom is ringing, he’s here!

Non-talkative young man.

He handed the bags to me through the door, took the return bags and he was off.

I got the bags into the kitchen and sorted them out. IT was a bit of a job finding spaces for some of the fodder, might have overdone it a tad today?

No doubt about it, with the fridge freezer as full as it is now, starvation is not likely in the short term!


If there should be panic and world shortage of Soy Sauce, Fasolka bean bacon and sausage stew, vegetarian sausages or out of date butter, I’ll be quids in. Haha!

The bread on the sink draining board to the left of the fridge is a new one I tried today. Polish half-Rye half Sourdough bread. I’ll give it a try and let you know what it was like later.

The giant box of Surf soap powder (Nice scent Lily & Ylang Ylang aroma) on the top photograph was on offer: £5.21 down to £3.00? Converted this means that in CAD $8.57 to $4.93 – USD £5.26 to $3.26 – AusD $8.25 to 4.84. Bargain there, what?

Sorted them and it was such a nice looking morning, I meandered out onto the balcony and took this photographicalisation to the left of the flats.

Not a person in sight, no dogs taking their humans for a walk in the park, either?

A rarity that, mind you, it is still early I suppose. Love the shadows and sunshine effect.

Did some Facebooking for a few hours or more, then tried to get another of the TFZer graphics started off.

The cleaners (Well, I say cleaners…) are due later.

Did a bit more on the TFZer New Home Series. A slow job this, but I want to get them looking good if I can.b

The cleaner gals arrived, I ask them to clean behind the WC today, and not to clean anywhere near the stacks of bank paperwork I have that are lurking on the computer desk, or to touch the second-hand 1969 E-Plan sideboard, cause they always catch the computer screen and it being a touch thingy I usually lose something I’ve been working on, anyway.

I was surprised when they did not find any garden peas anywhere in the front room. We had a natter and laugh while they worked and they were soon off with their bag of nibbles.

Did a good spell again on the TFZer Series graphic creation.

Off the computer, and decided to spray the curtains with fabric freshener, the expensive Airwick Citrus Infusions one, as I turned the blinds to do the other side… huh, another garden pea found! This must be the last one surely? Hehe!

Feeling well tired now, I got the meal cooking, sorted some medications and served up the fodder to myself.

Had a change tonight. Chines mushrooms warmed up in black bean sauce, small potatoes and a rather delicious beef slice in pastry.

A banana and small pot of Lemon Fool to follow. I served it up in the glass oven dish, ’cause after the garden pea fiasco, I didn’t want a Whoopsiedangleplop with the shiitake mushrooms. They are so slithery and resist being forked or spooned up yer know! Hehe! I enjoyed this one, the puff pastry on the slice was too tasty for words.

Got the pots washed up and took the medications then settled down in the £300 second-hand recliner, which was shaking a bit more than usual when operated. Got the TV on, some stuff I fancied watching tonight too. Top Gear, Heartbeat, Law & Order and a nature programme.

Then it started… The Cramps befell me and boy did they stay with me! Started in fingers (Nasty) the legs, down to the feet, then decided to stay in both! How I managed not to scream or call out loud I don’t know. Used far too much than is permitted of the pain gel for 24-hours, even got up and took some extra codeine. Took hours before it eased. Why? I don’t know, but I do know I can do without this at the same time as Anne Gyna is giving me grief. Still, eventually, they both eased off and let me drift off into my slumber.

The dreams came thick and fast, and Anne Gyna ensured there were plenty of waking up struggling, periods to contend with. The thing that hurt most was the not being able to recall any of the dreams whatsoever! Especially with remembering one so well last week. Grumph!

Message to Brain: Don’t bother dreaming unless you allow me to recall them. Thank You!

Inchcock Today: Monday 6th March 2017

Monday 5th March 2017

Mongolian: Даваа 5-р сарын 2017

0300hrs or there about’s, I woke and lay pondering on the odd even for me, dreams I’d just had. A mixture of jobs I’ve had over the years all mixed up together. The mine clearance in Wales accident, chasing after the girls at Tesco, getting lost in the warehouse, being shot on security assignment, Rempston College nightmares, being made redundant and when I fell into a grave when on duty at Carlton Cemetary.

I’m sure there was much more but these I could recognise and remembered. Then it felt like I had snuffed it and in a queue in an underground railway station with thousands of other people all fighting to be the ones to jump on the line when a train passed by? I even thought in the dream; “Why am doing this when I’ve already crocked-out?” I gave up trying to win and went into a public toilet that changed into a casino when I went through the door. Surprising, ’cause I do not gamble or even like gambling, but the bank manager, Olive and cyber buddy Lynton Cox were all there of the roulette table and they got me making sandwiches and cups of tea and coffee for them… unsure what took place for a while then. But I found myself back on a wooden boat on the canal with it leaking and the fast flowing water, bubbling again… really oddly, I felt comforted and at home here having dreamt so often of similar scenarios over the years? Hey-ho!

Not until after I had made some notes on my pad to use to write this later, did I start to fret and worry about the bank situation, Duodenal Daniel and Anne Gyna were giving me the odd, uncomfortable moment again this morning.

Around 0400hrs, the £300 second-hand recliner worked perfectly to allow me out and to the wetroom to tend to the porcelain duties and have a good shave and shower. Little Inchy was not bleeding. But was damned sore for some reason. Haemorrhoid Harold leaked a little.

I had a great scrub up in the shower.

Did the first health checks, all looked okay to me?

Then made a nice strong mug of tea and had my breakfast.

Got WordPress going, and realised that I had lost the Premium Service. Contacted their helpline. Felt a right fool again, it was the

Grammarly, not WordPress. Is it time I was serviced and MOT’d? Or refurbished, or just put out to stud? Hehe!

Sent an email pleading for help with the Stones & Pounds format in the Health Checks page in Excel, to Tim Price. I’m not sure if I’m getting accurate readings for the weight averages using the form I am doing with only one decimal place?

I wonder which imbroglio I’ll get jargogled with next? Humph! It’s a good job I don’t suffer from Kakorrhaphiophobia innit.

Then I did some diary work on these WordPress journals? Onto Facebook afterwards, still trying to keep busy and not have time to dwell on the problems.

Finalised the latest TFZer graphicalisation. Quite proud of this effort, I must say.

Waited from 0700hrs to 1315hrs for the call from the Bank Manager, no luck yet?

Did some more word finding storing them on Word in the Drop-Box. f

Going to call on Olive in a while, to ask her for some advice, because I have received an email from the TSB, welcoming me to the bank?f

Yet they told Olive Friday that they would phone me today in respect of the ID problem with the Council Tax?

This is what they said.

I’m really frustrated, more confused and depressed again now, Grumph!

Then I looked for the Introductory Pack I got from the bank last week and couldn’t find it!

Morose, I got the meal and settled down to stew away in deep pointless, lugubrious and pessimistic ponderings on life. Will I ever get my eunoia and or confidence back?

Inchcock: Saturday 4th March 2017

I hate myself when I feel like this!

Saturday 4th March 2017

Welsh: Dydd Sadwrn 4 Mawrth, 2017

Yesterday I nosedived into dysphoria at the news and complications with the bank. I spent most of the night awake pondering, regretting and feeling self-pity. I cannot see a solution. This was in-between nod-offs when dreams permeated and I’m sure made me feel worse, but I cannot recall actual details of any of the short dispiriting dreams, just a sense of defeatism and frustration.

Around 0300hrs I disentangled myself from the £300 second-hand recliner, no demands for the using of the porcelain yet, strange that for me.

Made another brew and did the first Health Checks.

Got the mucky clothes ready and went down to the Laundry Room.

Met fellow tenant Roy doing his laundry and we had a nice chinwag and laugh.

Got the washer going and up to the flat. Still no movement in the porcelain situation.

Made a mug of tea.

Carried out the second Health Check.

The weight seems to be going up and up? The temperature is too. Not that I was too concerned about this, in my low mood.

Back down and moved the clothing into the dryer. Back up to the flat again.

Sorted the medication dosage pots out.

Got the computer on and started these diaries on WordPress.

I have worried about suffering uhtceare, but not any longer do I worry about it, it has become the norm for me each and every morning.

Back down again to collect the now dried washing.

Up and put the clobber away.

Updated the excel readings and found the word uhtceare and loved it, so I used it as in the above. UHTCEARE: “There is a single Old English word meaning ‘lying awake before dawn and worrying.’ Uhtceare is not a well-known word even by Old English standards, which were pretty damn low. In fact, there is only one recorded instance of it actually being used.” Ten rare English Words to use

I’m now hoping someone will notice I’ve used this most appropriate and suitable word, and maybe I can become famous? Forget it, not my luck. Humph!

Spent a good few hours on WordPressing, then went onto Facebook.

Got the nosh and did the final health checks and took the medications.

So tired and full of angst about the bank problems, fretting too. Anne Gyna was causing me great discomfort in the extreme tonight.

Damnations, Duodenal Daniel has started off now.


Inchcock Today Fri 27 Mar 15: A Day of Failed Witticisms!

A Day of failed Witticisms

Friday 27th March 2015


Couldn’t get to sleep last night, tried everything – reading me D-Day book, looking at me Trolleybus book, Facebook, radio etc… Not much luck.

Seemed like I got ten minutes akip and anther ten wide awake all night until about 0445hrs when I nodded off for four hours solid.


Dreams I remembered:-

Working for someone in a sprawling factory with a tiny porta-cabin office where I was called to regularly and given jobs that took me off-site. I think I was being nice to the boss for some reason, although I sensed I didn’t like him. I can recall two of the jobs given me… well bits of them.

Job 1: I was a court judge – I handed out some pretty horrible punishments – A Pavement cyclist got life, A mobility scooterer got twenty years hard labour (I can’t recall what for), Tony Blair was sentenced to having his tongue removed then to be executed by being stoned to death by the relatives of dead soldiers and a footballer I sentenced to having his testicles crushed in a vice… there were many others I’m sure but can’t recall them or why now.

Job 2: I had to fetch something from a place I didn’t know and take it back to the boss -I went on a motorbike, got lost in a giant office complex and started panicking – a beautiful plump round-faced pretty posh lady helped me find the office I wanted – As I left with the parcel under my arm I looked back up at the building and saw her smiling and waving to me… I got knocked over and woke up in the Queen Elizabeth Military Hospital in Woolwich without any legs… first thing I noticed was the well crushed parcel in a shopping basket with my bloodied clothes on the floor by the bed – two men with broken noses, scars, knuckle-dusters on and an intimidating appearance came to me and demanded money for the doctors taking my legs off? I told them I had no money, Why they asked, “Cause I’ve spent it all on a new camera I replied”. “Oh #’\% me” said the taller one of the ruffians “You have to have em sewn back on again now then!” The shorter one asked me to take his photo? Next thing I was trying to gain access to the bosses office with the smashed up parcel and the boss opened the door and told me I was sacked and shot me with Luger…


WC’d, haemorrhoids bad again, must give them a good soak in the bath and tend to them later. Tut!

Made a cuppa and took me medications before I actually nodded of.

Had a good scrub up and bath – tended to me tender areas.

Did a bit of Facebooking and this diary up to here.

I’ll take me new Fuji camera with me today methinks, see if I can get used to it, I should be okay I’m sure…  

I got the bits ready to take to the Sherwood branch of the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop, bus-pass etc. and set off on walk into Sherwood.

The sun kept coming out occasionally through the clouds a few times and the wind was a bit less than it was yesterday like.

Took a photo of the sky at the end of the road – a tad unwelcoming.

Onto Mansfield Road and I made good headway today cause Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna were good to me – only the haemorrhoids being troublesome.

A different lady on duty today at the charity shop thanked me for the donation and nibbles, nice gal.

She asked if I was alright and for some reason I gave an answer that a woman I worked with in 1968 Margaret used to give me verytime I asked her if she was okay: “Not so dusty, well brushed!” The lady frowned looked me up and down and said quietly ‘Oh’ – Failed Witticism number One of the day.

I caught a bus into town, dropping off at Victoria Centre and walking in from the Tesco end I fed some pigeons some seeds.

Took a photo of some ‘Bling’ with the new camera for the TFZ gals – after downloading it at home, I was very disappointed with the quality.

I cut through the jitty and out through the back of the centre and made my way to the Aldi store in search of some more of the whole potatoes in herb sauce.

Managed to get four packs, I’m rather taken with them, partly because of the wonderful taste and partly because they cook so well in the microwave oven.

I also noticed they had started selling their own brand of bread thins at a good price – I just got one pack to try them out first.

Then I noticed on my way back through Vic centre – that the ‘Boost’ juice stall had two customers- at the same time – I whipped me camera and recorded this rare almost unheard of event!

A chap passing when I took the photo asked me: “Why are taking a photo of that then?”

I replied (Another failed Witticism coming here…) “I thought David Cameron would like to know how well they are doing!”. Another frown from a Nottinghomian followed by a loud Tut, and off he went. Hey-ho!

I proceeded up the escalator and into the walk-over taking a photograph of the traffic from my usual position.

A tad gloomy and the wind seemed to be picking up.

Down to steps to ground level – and three Vic Centre employees were trying to chase out a crippled pigeon – not with a lot of success either. There was only them and me there and I risked another witticism: “Can you manage lads? Do you want some help like? I could gas-it for yer if it’ll help?” and I laughed out load – this wasn’t appreciated in the least – Dirty looks and sneers came from their faces in my direction as I hobbled down the stairs away from them, leaving them swearing at and chasing the crippled pigeon.  Failed Witticism number three of the day.

I went into Wilkinsons store and got some Antiseptic disinfectant and nasal spray.

Out and back towards Trinity Square.

Noticing the Nottinghomians had not lost none of their love of crossing the traffic lights against the red don’t-cross signal.

I wandered up and dropped some bird seed and meal-worms for the pigeons to nibble.

Then down the jitty to the bus stop.

Where my fourth witticism also failed with the bus-driver!

Getting on the bus I tripped due to the weight of me bag I think (The potatoes?) – and exclaimed something like: “Oh boggleskellysworth” at the pain it caused to me rear end. The driver looked at me outraged and offered a scowl of crushing magnitude. I don’t know what he might have thought I’d said but he was not pleased.

I dropped off the bus at Carrington and popped into the Co-op store to see if they had any of me ice-cream centred fruit flavoured lollies in – they had so I got a pack.

As I approached the till area I went to the first one expecting someone to turn up to attend to me – and heard a female voice call out rather sharply from the other end: “This one, I’m here!” she commanded.

I moved down to her and said chirpily with a grin on my face: “Sorry midduck didn’t see yer, me hearing aid batteries are on the wain!” I thought that as me best witticism of the day…

She didn’t – I got an “Eh…?” from her and a look of incredulity followed by one of the greatest Tsks I’ll ever heard.

I thought it best to stop trying my witticisms any more after failing with first five efforts to bring a smile to anyone’s faces?

Limped back to the bomb-site, slipping some seed to Fatima and Fred on the way.

WC’d and treated me soreness, put me bits away, made a flask tea and went up to start this diary.

Had a rinse and changed into me jammas.

Took me medications then went down to make me potatoes, franks and petit pois, followed by an iced lollie.

Drifted off to sleep…

Inchcock Today: Friday 13th March 2015

Friday 13th March 2015

Woke with a jump thought about the dreams I’d had a while then remembered I’d not taken in the bins in from yesterday – so painfully got up (Ribs and angina) and poddled down to correct this oversight – noticing on the way that the sky had an atmospheric pink tinge to it, so I took me camera with me.

When I went out I realised the bins were still full and that it was bin-day today not yesterday. Tsk!

Then I took a picture of the sky – realising when I got back in to add it to this diary, I’d left the card in the laptop. Sad really.

Made a cuppa and took me medications.

Usual messages about incorrect power supply box etc when opening the laptop.

I tried Coreldraw to see if it would work today. Touch wood, it seems okay, but then I’ve not tried any high memory stuff yet, just the header for this post.

I’m sure I can still taste the herbs from the meal I had yesterday – it tasted grand.

Shame about me making a faux pas of the sky photo.

Ah, Friday the 13th for anyone believing in such stuff – a risky day.

I must say, today has been a day of tiredness, weariness and doing very little.

I fell asleep after I had an early nosh (Cornish pasty [Tesco own label not good])

Must have gotten three unanticipated hours in when I was awoken by the mobile phone ringing. It was BJ asking how I was going and did I need owt bringing in fodder-wise.

Nice that, no one else had called to see how I was going.

I thanked him, he apologised for not calling yesterday and told him not to worry mate.

His calling was fortuitous as if he hadn’t I would have missed me evening medications – we had a natter and then I took the doses – damned good job I hadn’t missed me Warfarin what with the INR level being so low.

WC’d and then went down to make a cuppa.

Found the INR report and dosage notification from the hospital had been delivered and put it in the drawer so I’d know where it was for next week.

Gawd I still feel weary and tired though.

Did some graphicaliationing until Coreldraw9 froze and I did not have the energy to go through resetting again.

Unbelievably tired now, no concentration.

Poor old mule.

Sorry no new photographs or anything worth reporting really, but thanks for checking.

Take care all.