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I am fatigued from fighting my bad luck and getting no help with finances or ablutions. I also need help sorting out a lift to the Doctor’s or hospital, contacting the bank, arranging supplies for medical needs, catheter bags, etc.
Today, I was at my lowest ever. Why? I’ll tell yers…
My BP was 166/69; I should have told me to ring 111 and ask for advice. But they will probably tell me to go to the hospital on Monday. How do I get there? I’d walk it if the weather was okay if it was to the City Hospital, but that used to take me an hour each way. With my declining health, providing it didn’t kill me, how long would it take now? I have to set out and give myself 4 hours tp get there and back. Haha! Also, besides that, Cartilage Chloe & Carole are liable to let me down, inviting a tumble en route. Dizzy Dennis may well have me over as well. Back-Pain Brenda, Arthur Itis, Ankle Ulcer Ulrich, Electric Shocking Sherida… and another thing just came to mind, the tiny Catheter day pouch would be filled before I got there or home again! I’ve told so many people about this problem. Carer Kara was a Precious-Gem who helped me. ♥ But she is now working in the office, they tell me. I shall have to plead with Obergruppenfurher Deana to see if she can advise or help with going to the hospital. And getting dressed beforehand. I hope the trousers still fit me! I have not worn them for months, and I’ve not been out. Well, I can’t get out. Oh, I must get them cleaned next week, after making sure they fit me. Worra life!
CorelDraw is playing up again. I lost hours trying to get the bloody thing to save the graphics I’d done. I think if… and that’s a dirty-great IF, I can get someone to come and add memory to my computer, it might solve the issue… then again, with my rotten bad luck. I would be working away, and suddenly, it would not save anything. Luckily, I’d got most of the graphics and some photos on the blog.
I can’t go on like this. I’m making myself feel worse by focusing on the frustrations of things not working and the lack of help.
If only things were like two years ago when I’d walk daily through the tree copse, up into Woodthorpe, onto Mansfield Road, down to the shops to get anything I wanted, and back up Winchester Street Hill to the flats.
Of course, being captive in the flat means I have trouble getting out and need a lift to get money to pay people.
My bank balance is the lowest it’s ever been without Starmer robbing me of my winter fuel handout or increasing the tax on my pension. I’ll try putting a hex and or jinx on him!
The blog may stop suddenly or may not be worth doing without graphics. Of course, anytime now, I anticipate someone will listen to my problems and come up with some assistance to alleviate not only my fear and frustration but please, God, please ease my depression 🙏🏻.
Trying to think things through, you wouldn’t believe how much I’m struggling to get to grips and get almost anything done. Being ignored is part of things when one gets older.
I’ve done mopping & moaning, but I don’t feel any better.
Tail-end of the lightning storm.
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Carer Ayu called, and I went to fetch some Codeines from the medical drawer in the kitchen. 
gave way, and I was on the floor in no time. Hitting my shoulder and neck on the way down. He hastened to get me up again. No need for any assistance; it was only pain & loss of balance. I’ve had much worse.
Google played up, and I gave up!
Going to get some food prepared and eaten.
TTFN
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Woke and rose at 04:15hrs: After over five hours of kipping! Grrreat! Took me a while to nod off, but I only had three, I think 
didn’t visit me once! But, as usual, when I moved, this time it was both 
& 
giving me grief, and it must have taken me five minutes to get to the wet room. More on that later.
& 
launched an attack that I ended up surrendering to and gave up trying to do this blog. Defeated!
, I’m surprised I have any skin left on my head; it was falling off all day. Later I rang Sister Jane, and she and hubby Pete were not in good health at all. Jane’s cough sounded terrible. I’m worried about her now. As I moved to get the B17 tablets that Jane had told me had a
, I took a tumble when 
Passed well, not a bad colour.
Kitchen view.
Back to the wet room. Not for the 
again, but to clean up Little Inchies bleeding, I caught the catheter tube closing the window. Talk about hurt! Cleaned it up and medicated things
This is getting bad now. This time, as I was trying to get a decent shot, a 
, not only that but 
joined in as well. Then, after taking the sad pictures and closing the window… 
, I knocked the knife block off of the window ledge. The tip end of the cheese knife broke off when it hit the floor. 
I made a brew of Glengettie and got the computer on to work on this blog. A new Caregiver arrived and Medicated me, put the diabetic soaks on for me, and had a little natter. What about escapes me now. Tsk!
or maybe 
, but I recall nothing of this time whatsoever. The rot had set in.
called, and I bluffed my way through. I think, in fact, I did not stop talking to the poor gal. It would help if I could remember what she was talking about. I think I may have, possibly, conceivably mentioned the Lurgy because Joanne sounded like she had a sore throat… or did she?
What amazing views.
Gorgeous.
Oh, how I’d love to recall the pleasure of taking them.
I do recall taking these.
Best nosh in a long time.
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The Fire Alarm was somehow triggered in the flat. I sounded very soft and quiet to my hearing. To the others, the klaxon was driving mad. So, one good point in my being so deaf. Har-har! The brigade arrived and checked out the flat. One spoke to me and walked away. I’ve no idea what 
Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner. With 
were not bleeding,
Infected ankles and legs looked so much calmer this morning. I washed Little Inchy, Harold’s Hemorrhoids, dried them, and medicated them. Then, I creamed the 
on my forehead and arms. I sprayed the eye treatment on the lids and olive-oiled the earholes. I just remembered at the last minute that I’d not put the barrier cream on the tummy infection yet. So, I did! It’s hard work getting old, Haha!
I took the wet-room waste bag and amalgamated it with rubbish from the other two bins. Making two bags of waste, and took them to the front door.
The amazing blue-hued sky in this poor-quality photo I took from the kitchenette window is so pretty.
I got the laundry bag sorted. I must remember to ask someone to take it down for me later. Then, I double-checked that I had put in the wash capsule and 
softener. They were all present.
twinged into action. I was so surprised, with her being so kind to me lately. She hit me hard, and I took an extra Codeine 30g. She’s never hurt this bad before. But an hour or so later, the Codeine had done its job and 
was back in full charge of the procedure
I made a grand strong brew of Glengettie tea. Then, at long last, I got the computer on. No biscuits dunked. Was I getting more dedicated to the new diet? No, I let the drink go cold, getting into the blogging. Humph! A few hours later, I took a break. I needed it because I was fed up with making so many errors on the blog (grammatical and
I decided to open the socks that were delivered yesterday.
The next pack contained 4 pairs of proper diabetic long socks. dark grey, I think. The Carer later put a pair of these on for me. Excellent fit, comfortable and warm.
The last pack included two pairs of knee-high bamboo socks. These looked far thinner and stretchier than those above, and they cost an awful lot more. I stored the socks, well, I say stored...
Another snap of the view of the sky. I went into one of my 
is making me see double, a shadow of everything attached. So maybe you can’t see them. Hehe!
An early meal tonight.
ketchup with pickle was well used. It went down well. I’m glad I remembered to eat early, thus avoiding the Carer calling just when I was starting to eat. 
What’s wrong with the lower circle?
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Much too dark!
Made a mug of Glengettie.
Iceland delivery arrived.
Not a lot. Because Iceland had three items unavailable, this brought down my total cost to just below the minimum charge that is required for me to get a free delivery. The swines charged me nothing for delivery… but a £4 for a small order charge!
Humph!
Blimey filled up again!
Front car park at the flats.
Delivery. Toilet brush in a square box
Needing assembly.
I got this photo from the web.
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, which I don’t think bothered me too much at the time. It felt like having a video playing repetitively in my head, over several mistakes and bad options I’d taken many years ago.
A good shade this morning.
Three early morning views.
The high moon in the amazingly light sky.
Or, did I set 
wrongly?
Closer up.
Even closer.
Not sure why I took this one.
I mosied along to the computer and got myself in a pickle, as I made so many errors, unfelt key depressions, and ended up having to close each open programme, and restart, in the hopes of getting the keyboard that I’d some-buggered up. Miraculously, when I rebooted it was working again.
I went out on the balcony to try and take a shot of the end car park, now seemingly permanent mudslide.
, a lovely gal. S
I can recall taking this shot. I was in a depression at the time; the keyboard was playing up again… or maybe 
was, or both of us?
I literally sat there afterwards, with the TV pointlessly on, not being controllable, as, indeed, my mind was in a similar position, hazy.
The late Carer removed the ankle and leg strappings and ointmentated the lower legs. They were not painful at all during the day but started itching away on removal. Resisting scratching was a hard job. Hehe! However, they were a lot better than they had been lately, so a positive at last. The only pain was from the ingrowing toenail toe, that I proceeded to make worse by stubbing it on the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner leg. It seems to be going a darker colour and bent more now?
Around 23:00hrs, I tried to take a decent shot of the end car park mudslide; you can just make it out.
Unintendedly artistic, though?
Unintendedly artistic, though?
Unintendedly artistic, though?
Two slices of plain bread, with one…
Gorgeous early morning supper!
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Another not-good early morning effort. Tsk!
My morning mug of Glengettie tea.
arrived. Got the ankle & leg straps on first, as it was a bit nippy. Medications sorted. Extra pain killer, as 
was causing me to take deep breaths, and that also brought me pain from the back.
I thought moving about a bit might ease the back pains. So I sorted the waste bags into one and took it to the front door.
The rain soon started.
A mudslide building up already.
Got some spuds in the crock-pot to have later. 
As I was in the kitchen, the rain increased.
I just don’t know what happened here… nothing unusual there, though, is there? 
There are no expand minimise buttons on this option, and now CorelDraw is not responding to the corner where one can usually resize it with the mouse!
The strappings that Carer Sam put on were holding up well. Thanks to Sam.
Again, I tried to get some decent shots for once, of the evening lights.
Why do I bother to?
Still, the night and lights were lovely.
Arrived. Got the medications sorted, and we nattered while he did so. I also, told him about the Corel Draw cock-up. (Not yet sorted out)
Some top go in the soup, others I nibbled as I prepared the nosh. Well! It seemed like a good idea.
Washed and back to the kitchen.
Got the chopped spuds into the soup.
The state of the room hit me as I hobbled into it.
The landline flashed. It was someone, a bloke, from Meridian Care, telling me that the late Carer, who is so far behind, had a medical emergency to deal with. Fair enough, I replied, it can’t be helped. 
Bet you got it? I didn’t, Tsk!
Added the cut potatoes cooked in the crock-pot to the can 
of soup. Added some liquid smoke. (I put some in when cooking the potatoes as well). Tomato Pasatta with basil and some distilled vinegar to the mix. Came out pretty good tasting for a guessed at flavourings soup. I could taste the liquid smoke! Nice!
Flavour-Rating: 803/10.
helped create it.
The back has been painful yesterday all day and worse this morning. The pain is higher than usual?
in the lower legs.
. Hence, 
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… well, 
, and at the same time, I knocked the milk off of the counter and hit my elbow trying to catch it from falling on the floor. I missed, and a splattering of milk was spilt. Bent down to wipe it up before it got sticky, and that set off. Not that it bothered me, of course. 
and 
failing that caused the heavily bandaged leg to clunk onto the floor. 
, followed by a few quietly emitted oaths and curses, as I hit my 
against the leg stanchion on the chair. 
Germolene from the ottoman, rubbed some in the left knee, and rubbed it in well for a while. The knee was a little larger than when I got my head down last night after 
doing the same thing, rubbing in the ointment. Took off the 
, and grabbed 
I gently raised my elephantine body up on its dodgy knees, leg ulcers, 
in both, to catch my balance… I don’t know why I’m not in hospital. Hahaha! Grabbed 
the wooden walking stick, and hobbled into the kitchen to get the kettle on. Where I took these three-morning view photographs – Gawd! They came out worse than yesterday’s were? What’s the opposite of smug-mode-engaged? I’ve just looked up an antonym… and made a tab to use; 
!
Yet another photo that I either can’t remember taking or, took without realising that I’d taken it.
Eventually, I got the first of the two permitted brews of tea made. Thompson’s Punjana this time.
Sorted out the waste bags, and got them into one large one.
Took it to the front door to be collected by the Carer at a later time.
Then got the daily doses, dosed, and the ointments, cream applications, and medications tackled. Ear drops, eye drops, and eye-cleaning sorted.
Washed the Jenny-Donated mugs ready for the second brew, possibly Glengettie in the afternoon/evening.
Off to the wet room for the first 
The 
man told her the bag was to be changed every month. This left me feeling confused. I felt sure that Kara checked every week to check and see if the day-pouch had been changed? convinced me that I’d got it wrong again. I apologised to 
for getting things mixed up. A lovely gal. I think I’m losing it worse than usual? I’d have put money on it that I was right, and it should be weekly, and the dried blood from 
backed me up. 
case. Then, a month trial on Finasteride tablets to try and reduce the size of the prostate as a last gasp-chance, and if this does not work, a permanent catheter will have to be fitted. The month trial turned into a 6-month trial; no passing, but still on the Finasteride even now! No signs of any permanent catheter being fitted either. This seemed a logical conclusion to me, and Joanne. We both wondered if they were waiting for me to snuff it. Save them the expensive operation? Won’t keep them long. Hahaha!
I selected the lesser bruised potatoes and put them in the oven tray for baking later. It turned out to be ten hours later as it happened. Tsk!
A snack, a treat, was the next thing I made. Two mini butter croissants, with some naughty lemon curd in a side dish for dipping them into, and the final mug of Glengettie for the day.
As I took this snap of the beautiful sky…
I thought of Mother Nature, and far beyond the sky…
What a fantastic, beautiful display of clouds in the sky this afternoon.
The blogging was not very productive now. Feeling tired and weary. Thus, even more cock-ups and mistakes were being made as I pressed on regardless. I cheated on my two mugs of tea a day… and made a third one. Naughty? Yes! In mitigation, it was not intentional then, as 
Nightie-Night Sunshine!
Made a start emptying the potato husks into the mixing bowl, with some delightful Leicester Cheese to taste. 
droppages or spillages. Flesh back in the halved husks, with sea salt and not butter, butter. Forked the tops to aid with crisping while cooking. And into the oven on 220° 
heat, and back to close the computer down. Then, I got the dirty pots I’d made washed with my not-so-secret method: I’d put the dishes in the bowl, 
washing up liquid added, and as the hot water filled the bowl, most of the bits of burnt cheese floated up and out of the bowl into the sink! A tip here: if you try this, make sure you run plenty of cold water around any metal bits in the sink cause it stains it rotten! 
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Easy-Peasy! Well…
A horrible day of ups & downs.
right
Eerie morning view of the kitchen from the doorway.
Made up a waste bag. (Exciting this innit? Hehe!)
.
A good variety today?
Toes & legs improvement… well 
arrived, I’d been on the computer for about an hour and had just suffered…
.
, and took his Health Checks.
I had to give the leg a rest up on the chair. So, I got into the c1966, £300 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, to get some respite from the 
as I got up to retrieve it, and the jam squirted out, over my slipper and the carpet. Not the most successful mealtime I’ve had!
Amazing! Just wind emitted?
As I took this photo of my feet and legs, I got a whiff of urine strongly? On investigation, I realised that the open-close valve on the day bag was indeed in the open position again! The left foot squelched as I took a step!
With all the hobbling I’d done, 
, I got the fresh ones on with almost ease. Great! for a second…
You can laugh at this series of 
, and farcicalness, from when I was washing up the pots?
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Carer’s keep up with it I don’t know. I’ve written down the roster needed: AM on waking up: 
Blepharitis Gel, left eye only. Five minutes later, the 
4-Times a day. 
drops, for times a day, to be inserted by the Carers. The gel is AM & PM only. Then 
, this is to be applied by me, four times a day. The Dry Eye pads are to be used three times a day, applied by me. Instruction was supplied on how to do this properly. The Blepharitis liquid is applied on a pad and can be used morning and evening ‘If required’
as I was doing the pad cleansing job, 
had a go at me, and I caught the eye again! Then it got such a nuisance, that I had to abandon the blogging 
.
Nocturnal Urinationings
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