Inchcock Today: Cock-Ups, Confusion and Comedy!

The retrieved photographs

Sunset shots, no idea when from, sometime in the last three days I’ve been without the capability to upload.

Tuesday, mayhaps.

Yesterday morning (Maybe?) Colin Cramps was paining me,
All night long, eight hours, no sleep, scarily,
But still, in wealth, health, finances and pecuniarily…
I have no worries… I am totally hassle-free…
I’m lying here, to a certain degree…
I can’t walk properly…
It’s harder than ever to see…
Arthur Itis murdering the knee…
Constantly I need a painful wee-wee,
Lost the remote control for the TV!
Using the Porcelain Throne leaves things increasingly phooey!
And to varying degrees, it’s always bloody!
So many medications, I’m becoming a druggie,
Of pains, aches, worries, fears… I’m never free!
Diabetes stops me from eating chocolate and toffee…
Always some other medical examinee…
Vascular dementia has taken my minds synchronicity,
More operations are due, but that’s just a technicality,
I’m coping well, really, but with a vulnerability…
Too occasional depressions and pathetic self-pity,
Yet, I’ve a gift of physical, not mental, survivability,
Sometimes, I have an outlook of determination and doability…
Often prevented from actioning by my docility…
Yet, I press on, causing more damage, such is my senility…
Why did the Lord give me life, but not the ability?
Fair enough, he gave me more than a fair share of verbosity,
And great bonus, in a massive bouncebackability,
But far too much instability and aperiodicity?
Not to mention my fretting, worrying and trepidity,
Oh, I said them – that’ll be the memories absentia!
Psychasthenia, I’ve avoided, I’m glad to say it’s not obligatory,
Thank Gawd, for my beloved Lisa, Jenny and Jillie 🧡

Made up some Polish pork sarnies, so good they tasted!
Planned it for them to be ready,
To eat it watching the telly…
Heartbeat was on… but I soon capitulated!

I’ll turn on the telly a fine-looking nosh, and I waited…
Again, my plans had been incapacitated…
The TV remote had absquatulated!
Spend so much time searching, going wud!
The meal went stone-cold; it could not be ameliorated!
No TV, eyesight too bad to read; aggravated!
Hearing no good to listen to the radio…
The remote control was not appropriated!
After a lengthy search, of finding it, there was no likelihood,
I was self-annoyed; I could have spat blood!
At least the sandwiches tasted really good!
A Dark Depression accumulated…
As the next Whoopsiedangleplop, I awaited…

GCo01a

The following day I woke, and photo’d the feet,
The limbs looked okay, felt alreet,
Colin Cramps was easier last night, his pains petite,
Then, as I moved, the action was only slight…
Arthur Itis attacked – in the right knee, with all his might!
Hearing myself whimper made me uptight,
I struggled to move and was not very sprite…
Then, went to Phorpain it… What a sight!

My disjointed but prettily coloured patella.

The sort of knee one may find on a troglodyte?
No sunshine for them either, very little light,
But I was more concerned with the failing eyesight,
I make myself a sarnie, using Vegemite…
Just two little slices, more weight I will not incite,

It was cold, misty and windy tonight,
Got the camera, the end car park to highlight…
Will the computer let me import? Well, it might…
Good heavens, it did! Much to my delight!

The red van on the no-parking zone is like a benchmark,
It’s never been known to park up properly, I remark…
The van reminds me vaguely of the Bismarck?

Sod it! The knee cap’s come out, off to the hospital!

What next? Humph!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Inchcock Today: Part Ode – with an Ailments Update

SUNDAY NIGHT

The extra handicap of the reaction to the Booster Jab; made my doing anything, taking an inordinately much longer time than usual. Thus, it was nearly midnight last night by the time I’d got the blog finished and posted. Although aching and in pain, and really needed to get some sleep. The mind and body wanted to close down. But, Inchcock, an epicurean, foodie, glutton, gourmet, chow-hounder, and well-known foodaholic, put an end to any thoughts of joining in with any Sweet Morpheusness for a while.

I foolishly started to make a belated meal, and a mini-feast it was too! At last, come around about 01:00hrs, I got it served up.

Raw fresh peas from Nigeria. (Shame the ones from Peru are not available, they were sweeter than the Nigerian ones by a mile, but beggars can’t be choosers when things are out of season) Oven-baked potato slices, tomatoes, crispy smoked bacon was the main course. The bacon was eaten in slices of milk roll bread and was dunked in some absolutely great tasting Thai sweet chilli sauce. I was satisfied with the substituted bottle; as for where I got it from, well, I’ll get some more from Amazon.

Which reminds me, I’ve got some diabetic bamboo socks delivered today. Well, that’s what I say! Bearing in mind my cock-up stroke Whoopsiedangleplop with Sainsbury’s and Morrison’s order dates, I get them arriving yesterday; when my Google calendar clear says that the Sainsbury one is coming Monday and the Morrison one on Tuesday… I’m sinking into the morass mess of mental mayhem of memory mishaps. It has to be admitted. Vascular Dementia Doreen is to blame, methinks.

Of course, you have to bear in mind that it is me we are talking about! No chance! Anyway, I feasted well, did some belching, took an extra Codeine, and flaked out on the recliner searching for sleep…

MONDAY MORNING

Sleep as I recall it, when I got up for my fifth wee-wee, at 03:00hrs, seemed far away, a luxury denied me again! Thought Storms Stewart kicked of the instant the eyelids drooped and threatened to nod off. It’s incredible how many things you can fear, hate, smile and laugh about, returning memories to torment you on your failed options and actions. Self-disgust, the injustices of those in charge, shames… not to mention the ailments having a go at you. I had no idea what time I got off into the land of nod, but I kept waking up thinking, I’d better get up, the carer will be here soon – then nodded off again.

The Doctor’s response to this problem when I spoke with her (a few years ago now, of course) Was, “Yes, many older people get this… any other problems?” I decided not to bother her further.

As I woke for the umpteenth time and was going through the routine of planning to get up, then falling asleep again, the door chime rang out its loud, ♫ Oh, Susanna ♫ tune. Gawd, it was late! Carer Richard came in to find a foggy-brained Inchcock staggering up out of the recliner. Hahaha! Fair enough, he does usually find me fuddle-brained anyway.

Richard asked the required medical question, as they do on a Monday. And did a wristlet alarm check to ensure the signal was getting through to the Nottingham City Homes people.

It was his last call, and I enjoyed a little nattering and moaning session with the lad. I thanked and treated him, and off he went.

Then as I put the kettle on belatedly, I took some shots of the morning’s misty views from the kitchenette window.

The photographs didn’t help my spirits much,
Didn’t cheer me up; I still felt I was a bit of a schmuck,
An old man, (Gillie) again being lovestruck…
If she was to adopt me, I’d be thunderstruck!

I wonder when the socks will arrive, they’re made of bamboo,
Had to get some; it’s too cold not to wear them now, Boo-Hoo!
I’ll check the Amazon tracker; that’s what I’ll do…
Nine stops away, couldn’t ask for better, could you!
The socks seem to be of reasonable value…
One can’t say that very often of Amazon, can you?

In an effort to cheer missen up, I perused the box of gifts that HRH Lisa and Billum had sent to me from Fort Thomas in the USA. I know, I wasn’t going to open it until Christmas Day, but anyway…

The box within the box was so pretty, it had to have been decided on by a lady. I put it on the server trolley and investigated away! But I’ll not put them on display until Christmas day.

Just look at all the work Lisa must have put into making these for me!

She even named them for me in the card she sent with them! ♥

Crazy Furry Goat (Goliath), Long Eared Rabbit (Roger), Wacky Cat Kawaii. Pink Fuzzy Monster (Malcolm), Rudikth, the Red-Nosed Reindeer! The names in brackets are those I’m considering giving them when they get on display and become along with Koala and Teddy Bear, my morning chinwagging partners! ♥

I’ll have to make sure I give them names that I might remember. Otherwise, they will get confused about who I am talking to if I use the wrong word. Hehehe! They put in some ‘Moon Pie’ cakes as well. They are not available in the UK. And they look rather tasty! I shall not indulge until Christmas day!

When I showed them off to the carer who came to check on my medicines stock, she thought they were just like a Wagon Wheel. When I put a picture of an unopened lemon Wagon Wheels on my blog a while back, Billum said how they looked like Moon Pies. Thus they sent them to me to try. Bless their cotton socks!

♥ Thanks again, HRH Lisa and Billum! ♥

The door chime rang forth again;

♫ I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee,
I’m going to Louisiana, my true love for to see
It rained all night the day I left; the weather it was dry
The sun so hot I froze to death; Susanna, don’t you cry.
Oh, Susanna, don’t you cry for me
cos’ I come from Alabama
With my banjo on my knee… ♫

The daycarer from the Meridian office was the day carer; she’s come to check that my medical stocks were sufficient for over the holidays. She thought the Moon Pies were like Wagon Wheels… Oh, I’ve already said this, I guess, sorry!

She thinks I’ll need some more Codeines getting in to last me. Which is not surprising, with all the extras I’ve been taking; What with the 15hr agony of the hospital trolley marathon, the bruised bum, then the absolute nightmare of the reaction to the booster-jab, I think I needed, they got me through anyway. I expect someone somewhere to believe I’ve become addicted, however, and another lecture from the Doctor, of course, over the phone.

Another Escapee Pea!

Making a fresh brew, I trod on something rock-hard on the kitchen floor, almost like an electric shock, it made, jump a smidge. It seems lately that these escapee garden peas are coming out of hiding regularly? Haha!

I checked again in the Mazon bamboo sock front situation. And guess what? As you see, this was the message I got from them. Delivered today; your package was left near the front door or porch. Well, it hadn’t been! I got myself into a mini-flap when I wondered if it had been delivered to Winchester Court in error?

So, I rang ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Warden, Desktop Dancer, and who is also not interested in adopting me! Tsk! It’s just not fair! She said it might be downstairs in the lobby; I mentioned Winchester Court, she said the flat is empty. I had a vision of them leaving the stuff outside the door of an empty apartment – if so, it would not last long! Deana said she’d look for me and let me know. I thanked her and returned to the computer in another failed effort.

Hehe! Ferreting around for something to nibble, I came across the packet of new mini-cheddars I’d ordered, but I resisted the temptation. I’ll have them later when I’m more depressed or even hungrier.

Medicalisation Checks

The right arm looked betterish, and the pain has subsided a lot now.

Little Inchies fungal lesion had not bled all day. I liked that a lot! But I am in no way being fooled; it’ll come again!

The legs (the Knees) had improved beyond recognition this Monday. I had a job to recognise them as my own. Although, Arthur Itis was getting a little frisky with it when I was writing this.

Warden Deana Saves The Day

Deana rang the door chime and entered – with the parcels of socks in her hand, bless her! They had been left down in the front lobby by the Amazon delivery urchin. Along with several other packages for different people! I thanked her kindly.

ABLUTIONALISATIONINGS

Cleaning the teeth broke another tooth,
The few teggies left are getting corrosive,
But I wash brushing a little aggressive,
Shaving, not a single cut or nick,
Showered, I almost felt hygienic…
On the radio, the London philharmonic,
Stubbed my toe; that was chronic…
But, I don’t want to nitpick,
Even though I tripped over the walking stick!

Food Glorious Food

The dessert was a bit special. On the label, it read; Raspberry Gourmet Greek-style thick & creamy live yoghurt with fruit layer. Confusing innit? Tasted okay. Cooked seasoned sliced Polish pork knuckle with seasonings sarnies, Nigerian podded peas, and crispy chips (oven fries). Flavour rating; 8/10.

Late Phone Call

A call from the opticians came in. Which left me more confused than ever. According to the lady calling me, I did not have an appointment with them. But when I called in there last week on my way to the dentist, I called in to book an appointment, got home and put a date in the calendar, January 4th 2022. She said they had not made an appointment for me?

I’m getting mixed up here; back to the phone call: She asked if I could come in the morning (today at 09:00hrs for an eye test? Presumably, they had had a cancellation?).

Being the keen attentive, alert, sharp sort of person that I’m not, I made another Whoopsiedangleplop; I told her her ‘Yes’ I’d come. Then realised I had the Amazon order coming? Too late to get help ringing her back; the staff had all gone!

Evening Carer Valerie arrived, and I soon fell asleep after she’d gone.

Fed up! Woke up wide awake at midnight and got this blog finished and posted, a little late, but betterer late than never!

Morning All!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe Series

Inchcock Ode – Welcome to my world

Welcome To My World

Upon waking, Inchcock will often do a sensual check on any ailment attacks or changes. Sometimes, a discussion will occur twixt Inchcock and a specific ailment, typically one that has been giving him a little extra pain and, or hassle. When these occur, the silly old goat usually makes an Ode and graphic about his demented, dreamt up, nonsensical clap-trapping, as below from an old one.

For some unknown reason, the idiot asked me to show this graphic, as he puts it: ‘Wot I Made!’ cause he’s seems to think it is one of his rare, almost non-existent successes?

As his Alto-Ego, I will now let the uneducated, lonely old fool take over the writing of this rubbish. TTFN.

Once the physical activity starts in the morning, I often wait for the mental conditioning to begin; it usually catches up within a few minutes. It can take hours, but not often.

They were tackled then.

Sphygmomanometer showed Sys and Dia, readings high,
The Wee-Wee chart: I need to drink more! Gin & Dry?
Would it help if I go to a detoxify?
On this mind of mine, I cannot rely!

A quick look for any new damage, I don’t want to oversimplify,
Another bruise was found on the top of my left thigh…
An unknown round welt, right arm, that I can’t quantify,
The torso seems to have started to transmogrify?
Heart Op Scars raised, itching again, certainly uglify!
The broken Terence Tooth hit the pain-boards bullseye!
Shuddering, Shoulder Shirley’s eased off, but why?
Hit my head on the stove but didn’t get a black eye!.

The following tasks were ablutionary,
Not worn any socks since about July,
Cold, Brr! should I dare to use Sock-Glide Georgina?
I’ve no medical aids that are any meaner!
One Sock-Glide injury needed micro-surgery!
Hickeys, bruises, cuts, and a bleeding periphery,
Stubbed toes, damaged knees, I felt all fluttery…
Should I put my socks on? I recalled the imagery,
Of the last time, I fought Georgina, bitterly!
I chickened out of wearing socks; what a mockery!.

Anytime in the next three hours, cometh Meridian,
An incredible variety of Carers, one who is Balearian,
Unless I misheard her, and she is Algerian?
Not that it matters, none of them shows me derision,
An American gal, English, British, and an Assyrian,
All make a positive impression!

Porcelain Throne Sessions

Ah, every visit is a different evacuation, indeed.
Some days it can be half an hour, then I’ve only peed!
Rock-solid torpedoes, agony, things bleed!

Next time, liquid, 30 seconds, messy but what speed!

Housework Tended To

Took the chance to clean the fridge up, ready for the delivery to arrive shortly – well, I hope so.

Iceland Delivery Arriveth!

Then, on with Prepping Josie’s Meal

Got it delivered almost on time for her.

I was so proud of how Josie liked the look and smell,
The beef arrived two hours later, took in the dish for the gal.
Water chestnuts, potatoes, tomatoes, beef chunks as well,
Leeks and onions, chilli, three beans, the lovely smell!
Seasoned with liquid smoke, paprika, beef flavour gel,
Said she loved the cream Pretzel,
Even called me an old Angel!
I mentioned the extra lidded pot for the Damsel,
To have later, quantity double,
Too long at her door, I did not dwell,
I sensed she was hungry… Oh, yes, I can tell!

End Car Park

End car park area busy today.

Evening Views

I shall have to go now. Most likely the evening Carer will crave my body, mind and bank account… Ahem!

Inchcock’s Analysis of the Accifauxpas and Whoopsies 4th day on the trot!

In Regrettably Execrable, Atrocious Rhyme

Wednesday: Accifauxpas & Whoopsiedangleplopitis were with me again this morning, but I wasn’t surprised after three or four days of this.

But I had some natters, very pleased with this!

Even had some brighter periods; these were bliss!

AMAZON COCK-UPS

Well, no, they haven’t been delivered. Semi-panic!
Another Amazon cock-up, like the Titanic!
I rang Warden Julie, her reaction was fantastic,
She checked Winchester Court, not there,
Rang me back, how altruistic!

AMAZON ACCIFAUXPA TWO & THREE

Most confusing. Is this a trick?

AMAZON ACCIFAUXPA AGAIN

Ungle-Clomp: thought about it… thud!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Peripheral Neuropathy Pete was calm with me, as I took this photo,
Came out good for me, I celebrated with a Lemoncello,
Seeing the result, I felt a bit less of a Bozzo,
I gave myself a virtual pat on the back… Bravo!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Encouraged, I took the view of the end car park.

ACCIFAUXPAS!

Took the picture, closed the window, then things got blurrier…
I noticed two tellurians, fell backwards, Clunk! Landed with a whimper,
But no damage and I didn’t lose my temper…
Just the back pulled, so no need to get schmaltzier!
Managed to get back up on my own, now I felt smugger!
The victim being poor old Back-Pain-Brenda…
A Codeine 30g, a mug of tea, and I soon felt a little betterer!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP

The blood pressure was not good to be blunt,
But I was not overwrought,
Things would have been worserer…
If it had read nought! Hehe!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

INSTANT FATIGUE!

With the recent days’ hassle and bother, it’s been a game,
Wearying, tiring, frustrating, but I do not raim,
But no more could be done, I’m at end of my candleflame,
Rest, peaceful sleep… yes, sleep, that’s now my aim!
I’ll have a nod for an hour or so, then energy I can reclaim…

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP!

With the recent day’s hassle and bother, it’s been a game,
Wearying, tiring, frustrating, but I do not raim,
But no more could be done, I’m on the end of my candle flame,
Rest, peaceful sleep… yes, sleep, that’s now my aim!
I’ll have a nod for an hour or so, will my aim be lame?

Got some nosh made, and me oh my,
Gorgeous tasting it was too… now for some shuteye!

NO PROBLEM SLEEPING THIS TIME!
I whoofed it down like Bruno from Popeye!
Cleaned the plate with bread, wiped it dry!
Put the TV on, though now I wonder why,
Within minutes it was wakefulness, good-bye!.

4 HOURS LATER, A CONCERNED CARER WOKE ME UP

ACCIFAUXPAS!

I realised it must be the night when the gal gave the medication,
Warfarin included a night only application…
I felt a touch of creeping self-derision…
At the dementia-made confusion and elision,
The Thought Storm started; is reality really an illusion?
The gal gave me a little chinwag, that helped my self-derision,
Making the Thoughts Storms absquatulation.

She didn’t take the waste bags on her way out,
Not nowt to worry about…
Cause I gave the toe a stubbing, that did make me shout!
That, I could have done well without!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

SURPRISE!

The Dettol arrived, that Amazon said I’d already had,
Which was something that didn’t make me sad,
What does, happened at Concentration camps & Stalingrad,
Many things make me mad, but they are too myriad!.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The photo that I took earlier,

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

WAS I RIGHT?

I made this graphic and posted it, before the Brexit Fiasco,
Before the masses voted for us to leave the Euro,
Sure enough, that’s just what we did, so long ago…
Some were full of joy, expecting things to improve, full of gusto,
Just look at us now, though…,

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP

A belated Accifauxpa!

Well, more selection of Whoopsies really,

Milk from the fridge, I knocked over the banoffee,
It fell onto the floor and broke, after hitting my knee!
Got down to clean it up, could I get back up?
I’m used to this, and did it all unemotionally,
Well, apart from the usual trepidity…
Getting back on my feet was painful, a pity,
Cause I stubbed my toe as well, that was shitty!
Then dropped the bloody milk bottle, what a whoopsie!
Cleaned up the mess again, expecting a satanophany!
Instead, I banged my elbow on the drawer, and writ this ditty!

Intense Inchy: Wednesday 17th March 2021 Diary

INCHCOCK TODAY

Wednesday 17th March 2021

Swahili: Jumatano Tarehe 17 Machi 2021

01:20hrs: Blimus! I stirred back into imitation misery and life, and I realised I’d just had over five-hours in the nurturing arms of Sweet Morpheus! Gadzooks! Plus, I had a short nodding-off yesterday afternoon. Involuntarily, though! The need for a wee-wee developed, so I was out of the recliner and standing with my balance caught in no time?

I wandered over to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). And worra shock, it was a wee-wee of the LPP (Long-Powerful-Persistent) type, and with no PM (Pre-Micturitional) or CM (Cessational Micturitional) dribbling.

Things seem to have altered in the wee-wee stakes suddenly? The NHS colour chart was consulted, and I was dehydrated again, but down to level four! Yippy! But the wee-weeing carried on all morning, repeatedly, and in the same mode. I got a little irritated at times with demanding needs, but the urge for a wee-wee cometh so often, and I have to goeth! Haha!

Then I got the summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrive, so off I limped to the wet room. A pungent, Trotsky Terence dominated evacuation that needed a lot of cleaning up afterwards again. Of me and the Porcelain!

As you can see by the time on the travel clock om the cistern top, I’d only been up for about ten minutes, three wee-wees already.

Then, as I was asking, I needed yet another leak! Gotten Himmel!

To the front room, and I got on with the sphygmomanometerisationing, with the Boot’s BP machine. SYS 148. DIA 81 and PULSE showing as 83bpm. Which is better than many days have been the March up to now. Not too bad at all!

The dependable, trustworthy, Chinese manufactured contactless thermometer preferred a reading of 36.9°c – 96.9°f. Perhaps a smidge high, but maybe not. I asked Mr Google and got this answer: 97°F (36.1°C) to 99°F (37.2°C).

I updated the Excel NHS record log with the details. Looking much improved on a week ago. This is the third day that I’ve got access to Excel, and there was no Updating unavailable message coming on the screen.

I wonder if Microsoft’s owner is related to Mike Fries, the man who bought Virgin Media and renamed it as Liberty-Global Virgin Media, and then proceeded to dismantle any semblance of trust, ability or compassion that was left in the business?

You certainly have to admire his skill in running the crap internet service and spending a fortune on advertising lies about it being reliable, don’t you? Fair enough, he perhaps has no idea what he’s doing. But being educated in a Wesleyan Business School and now paid a $19m salary, plus expenses and compensation totalling: Fries’ cash compensation of $8.5 million, was not the highest on the list. Fries’ stocks and options awards — valued at $79.2 million in stock and $24.2 million in options — helped lift Fries to the top salary-wise. Fries also received a $5 million sign-on bonus…

So, it’s no surprise that with the crappiest service and a cunning system installed that blocks anyone from leaving their contract – have you ever heard of anyone who left them? It’s no wonder the overpaid, under-capable git who only makes any profit for Liberty-Gold on paper! And installs hatred in his customers for the intermittent failure of connection of the internet and his contempt shown for them. However, fair does; all the other suppliers are bad as well. I did manage to leave BT when I moved into the flats here, to Virgin, who were then bought out by Liberty-Global – My bad luck! I waffled a bit there, sorry!

I got the Tuesday blog updated, between wee-wees (they were getting longer and more fierce now!) And within four hours I’d got it finished. Flibbledonkackles! Pinterested some snaps, went on the WordPress Reader, not much on again today, but what was sent, was top quality. I read and replied to some comments, then did a couple of graphics on CorelDraw. Made a brew, had a wee-wee and was just about to start on this Diary, and I realised I had not done the ablutions yet.

Gulped down the tea, and off to the wet room. A decent session to start with, the usual dropsies, of course. Only two nicks. tiny ones, shaving, and the ankle and feet were looking fine as I got ready to go in the shower. The long toenails were a bit bothersome.

I really enjoyed the showering today and spent ages in there with the cloth and loofah. I used the mint & cucumber shower gel but was not too keen on the scent. Just as well that I dropped the bottle in lost it all down the drain when it shattered! Hehe!

Dried off, and did the medicationing without any hassle. No socks put on, I’m sure I heard a groan from Sock-Glide-Glenda (Hahaha!)

Got the kettle on, and back to the computer and rebooted it.

The landline rang. It was Sister Jane, telling me she hadn’t received the Inchcock Today diary link? I was sure I’d sent it – I mean; as if a man of my calibre and dedication would forget to! Huh! Ahem! I thanked her for worrying and I checked the Emails…

What a nitwit, dumbhead, pillock, schmuck, numskull, cretin, schlemiel, flibbertigibbet, dope and senile twit,  I am! I rang Jane back to tell her I’d now sent it… I believe my red-face may have somehow seeped through the telephone cable. She was very very calm with me. Hahaha! Lovely of her to check on me though wasn’t it. ♥

Thought! I was born years too early yer know. If mankind survives a few more years, I can see people, not the commoners, mind, getting a memory transplant on the NHS… not that’s doomed innit? You’ll probably be able to get a decent second-hand one. Possibly, around the year 2065, you can get a taxi-drivers memory box, who died of Covid-1219, reconditioned and fitted for about £2.500m in a few years of paying back for Brexit? Hehe!

My mind wandered on to my epicurean-gastronomical fancies. (Food!) So much fodder to feed on at the moment. I dithered, dillied and dallied, changed my mind a good few times… Went for a wee-wee, washed and returned, and started musing over the available foods in the fridge, and there were many to pick from, all I had to do, was decide which one to have… Mmm!

Decisiveness, emphaticalness and obdurateness used to be my strong points in the old days when I was alive, you know. Not now, though! So many different permutations of the meal to make, came to mind; then left it, pretty blank as well! Humph!

Ah. I’ve just remembered, the writing pads should be arriving today, from Amazon. Of course, I only said that for effect, as if I would forget anything, Hahahahaha! Ahem! I reckon my guess is going to be a long way off! I’ll no made anything to eat until delivery has arrived, whenever that is. I tried to ignore the hunger. Oh, I am good… what for, is another question!

I made a mug of Thompsons Punjana and took the evening medications.

The landline rang out, it was a recorded message, obviously a con-job, telling me that Amazon Prime will be taking £79 from my account, and if I wanted to cancel, I had to ring this number… I rang off. Maybe another Nigerian scam? I opened the YourArea Emagazine for Sherwood, I must do something to avoid falling asleep and miss the Amazon package.

A bit of good news on the Covid-19 front! The figures for new cases in Nottingham are down by 22.5% on the previous seven day period!

.

Blow me, the next article telling of a school in the Sherwood area, where six children and thee members of staff have tested positive!.

Good heavens, what next will I come across?

Now new variants of Covid from the Pillillines have been found in Nottingham!

I made a brew of Glengettie, then I took the afternoon medications.

Checked the Amazon tracker, it was in the same place on the graph. Oh dearie me! But never mind, eh?

So tired now, done in mentally not physically… yet. Hehehe!

My ETA guesses at the arrival for the notepad order from Amazon, (16:00hrs) is fast approaching.

I got some mini-Dagwood sarnies made up, in the bowl covered it with foil, but there was no room for it to go in the fridge until the parcel arrives. I didn’t work or think that out, did I? Had a look at the tracker on Amazon. New ETA on it now.

I’m so tired and so hungry. Must stay awake! Aha, the delivery arrived at 17:50hrs.

Got the nosh sorted. 3Wed28

No idea what I’m doing now (Thurday morning) WorPredd have changed things around, and I’m f’ing lost! Sod this!

Can’t edit photos as before, edit and view modes different – Blocks appearing

Sod it!

Ho do I add… never mind, this is my last diary – Thank You WordPress! I’ll try once again, but I’m terribly confused
Too much to take in, so I leaving.

Inputted Inchy – Tuesday 16th March 2021 Dairy

♥ TFZer Lillies Famous Lakeside Teas ♥

INCHCOCK TODAY

Tuesday 16th March 2021

Spanish: Martes 16 de Marzo de 2021

023:30hrs: I woke with a dang urgent need of a wee-wee! Argh! Panic ensued as I forced my grossly overweight bellied-body from the recliner, with visions and a sensation of the surging PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribbling), building-up, getting stronger. Caught my balance and hobbled swiftly over to unused overnight NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket).

I had to give this liquid evacuation a new name. I gave it, SWROP (Slow-Weak-Resistant-Oversprinkly-Painful) title. Uncomfortable perhaps rather than painful, though. Many of these followed during the day. I’ll try not to mention them too often.

I took the medications for the evening that I’d missed taken. Humph! Then I got the Health Checks done.

The BP readings from the Sphygmomanometer showed much better results today.

Used the easy-to-use Chinese, made in Hong Kong, contactless thermometer, this result was pleasing too, at 37.2°c – 98.9°f. Not bad at all, methinks.

Microsoft Office allowed me access to Excel (that’s three days now that it’s worked, they are getting better – or are they planning for a more extensive freeze or calamity later?), and updated the log for the Cardiac Unit and DVT Warfarin Clinic. I’ve not been there for two years now, but they did say they will reschedule the cancelled appointment sometime in the future.

I inputted the figures for the blood-pressure onto the NHS site and got this graph up on the right. Which works out a bit better than yesterdays’ did. But still in the High Blood Pressure status, but I’ve been on that for months now. I’ve reported it to the nurse, who tells me that she doesn’t trust my BP machine. I mentioned the failure to get through to register my after-effects of the Covid-19 vaccination and can’t get through to the Doctors surgery. “Yes, they are swamped”, was the answer.

It’s a great feeling that gives one a warm glow in the heart when you are so well cared for: Well, so others tell me!

I poddled onto the balcony with the Kodak camera and put the Canon on a charge.

Maybe today I can learn enough to use this Kodak camera properly? Or not!

The first one, an accidental one as I struggled to open the window, would have been great if it was intended!

The two of the outside were possibly a couple of my worst ever efforts.

I tried to take a photo of the car park on Chesnut Walk, through the window. As you can, it was another disaster! And here I am now, having to use the Kodak for a few hours until the Canon charges-up. I don’t suppose it will worry David Bailey? Hahaha!

I got the updating of the Monday post finished. It cost me a few hours and several, well, many, wee-wees. Pinterested, a few snaps from it, then Emailed the links off.

Between SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters going down, I suffered an inordinately long time getting rattled and making so many errors!

Made a brew, had a wee-wee, passed wind, sneezed and then returned to the computer, with SSS having calmed down a lot now. So recommenced on the computing.

I stopped, having remembered (Having remembered? – I don’t say that very often! Haha!), to take the morning medications.

I went on Facebooking. Then onto the WP comments responding, and visited the WordPress Reader section. Not much seems to be coming through today? Then…

Had a wee-wee (Hardly worth the bother, a dribble!) and made a mug of tea. Then started this Diary off. The attentions of Nicodemus’s Neurotramsmitter’s failing continued to irk me a little, but I just have to get uses to it; nothing can mend nerve-ends dying. It’s not going to get any better, so I made the best of it and calmed down.

The thoughts of the two food deliveries coming together made me wonder why I’d arranged for that – Pillock! I’d better get the ablutions done, then.

No showering, of course, far too early for that and the risk of disturbing my neighbours. The session was a mixed bag of ailments, Accifauxas and goof fortune!

As I got into the wet room, Porcelain Throne’s need arrived – and what a messy affair that was! Semi-soft, messy, stinking, sticky, brown and red gunk! Yet is went away in two flushes but left a lot of mess that needed cleaning up. The TP was not up to the job alone. Dettol and hot water and a thick, strong cloth were utilised, and this took me ages! The bowl was then cleaned and sanitised, and I start to get the nasal clearing done. Put the ear drops in. Then started cleaning the teeth…

So many dropsies, I made my fingers sore with using the picker-upper so often! Haha! The shaving was problematical due to the drain not clearing the water away. I used the last of the f=drain-clearer and a lot of bleach, but it was not very successful! Glibblebonks! But still, only two tiny nicks in shaving, but one of the many dropped razors broke, and the foam spray can no longer work after the drop on the floor via the sink and my left knee! It broke after that was dropsied!

No other problems, as I didn’t put any socks on. Thus cunningly avoiding a battle with SSG Sock-Glide-Glenda.

I’m going to do any handwashing today, but I did move the thick quilted coat from above the sink to above the wall heater, as it had already-morphed into a damp-only mode.

I had a wee-wee, for what it was worth, and made a brew of Glengettie Gold. A text message came in from Iceland… wait for it… It said at the end of the wording, ‘You have no missing items! Well, that’s another first! Of course, being an experienced Iceland shopper, I knew they would have none of the split brown rolls in stock, so I ordered some bread thins and got them both! And little room in the freezer to use! Serves me, right!

I checked on Gmail to see what subs or not available were coming today on the Sainsbury order. Well, that is fortunate, no sourdough bread, but they had none last week either. And, no french cream horns, well, that’s assuaged my guilt at ordering them in the first place. Thank Lord Sainsbury!

Most, fortunately, I went to find the facemask for when the Iceland lad arrives, and the intercom flashed as I passed by it. Otherwise, I would not have known about it; either the sound from the box too low, or my ears were playing up; genuine good fortune that was!

I admitted him and was soon up at the door handing me the bags, which I put in the hallway.

The man was sociable with it. I handed the lad a choice of plonk, and off he shot, wishing me well!

I took the bags through to the kitchenette. I knew that I hadn’t ordered any kitchen towels, bleach etc., but there seemed many bags there?

All became apparent when emptied and sorted the contents of the carriers.

How, or why had I ordered two packs of the misshaped cooked ham? How or why had I got a dirty-great container of orange juice?

Why I ordered all the packets of chill chicken in different sizes?

The lean diced beef I knew was for making the chilli later on. The cucumber for making pickled cucumber arrived. I put the overordering down to Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters letting down so often.

When the Sainsbury order arrives, I really hope I’ve not done it on their order as well; I’ll not have from in the fridge or freezer! Tsk!

I updated this post up to here and prayed I could hear the intercom when Mr Sainsbury arrives; hello, he’s here, and I did hear the intercom, just! The chap put the loose delivered goods in the box and carrier for me at the door, accepted a can of Vodka & lime mix, in thanks, and departed.

As I was putting the things into the kitchen to sort them out. Struggling to find room moire than ever in the fridge and freezer, the intercom rang out.

The chap returned cause he’s found a box of Cornettos he’s missed in his van for me. That was nice of him!

I’d bought a lot of fresh foods. Tomatoes x2, leeks, Limoncello (for Josie), lemon desserts, Coz’s apples (they were dry, bruised and not very good tasting). Bread thins, garden peas shelled, beef chunks, crispy smoked bacon, more cooked meats (Tsk!), milk roll loaf etc.

Somehow or other, I got the stuff put away, and then thoughts of food, eating, my leaning towards eating, nouvelle cuisine, and epicureanism abounded in my mind… What to have for my nosh! I was certainly spoilt for choice! After only a few seconds (fast for me!), I’d opted to get the beef chunks in the crockpot, add oodles of chopped leeks, and the garden peas to be added later.

I got the beef and leeks in and added some seasonings: Sea salt, black pepper, Oxo and Best Bisto gravy granules, burnt chilli powder, basil, and a drop of balsamic vinegar that had been delivered. I forgot all about the tomato passata, though, Humph!

Cleaned up and kept stirring the mixtures as I did the cleaning and sorting the bag of treats for the lovely folk on floor nine. After the water in the pot was bubbling, I turned it down and added the shelled garden peas, stirring regularly but quickly so as not to let the contents cool down. I had a taste, and in response, I added a splash of the Squid vinegar to it.

I spent a good while making up some waste bags and sorting them into the box on the walker-trolley in the hall.

While doing this task, the weariness dawned on me, and I realised that either a blank-period or mind-fatigued withdrawal from awareness was on the way. I just knew. Unfortunately!

So, I decided to get the bags to the chute and nip down with Doris, Jenny, and Frank’s bag. The hobble to the chute-room and depositing of the bags went without any hassle… well, there was a block outside the hallway door to the lobby, who doing some electrical work, and was not too pleased to have to get down from his step ladder to let me out. Hehehe!

I went down to the ninth in the elevator, dropped the carrier at Jen’s flat door, and back up to the 12th-floor. If I recall correctly, I had a marathon wait as the cages kept passing by, going up and down and not showing much interest in stopping for me? Come think of it, it may well have been muggings here, or to be precise, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, that did not sense my pressing the button, or failed to pass on the message to the brain, or Memory Mike, who had no idea what was going on at all? Hahaha! Yes, the weariness was coming… Boulderclumps!

I got back to my floor, and the poor electrician was upon his ladder again working next to the lobby door I needed. I waited patiently until he’s finished what he was doing. The lips visibly moved under his facemask. Not sure what it was he was saying, but the eyes looked rather keenly at me. Hehehe!

As I titivated the crockpot contents and had a little nibble to test things, the landline burst forth. It was Jenny, updating me on the situation with the lack of ILC’s. Holiday (vacationing) time. Well, they deserve them, having to put up with us old antediluvian fogies! Hahaha! Jenny and I had a little natter, which is always welcome. ♥

I got the nosh done, not that it needed much doing now. An expensive meal this one was. But worth it! Flavour Rating 9/10! I got the gravy mix and chilli-level right for once. And the lemon dessert went down well, too! This was one of my better efforts. Although the bank manager may disagree!

Weary-William had joined me, and the only thing I could do was to give in to him. I did manage to wash the pots before collapsing in the c1968 recliner. I seem to recall watching a ‘Parking Wars’ episode on the goggle-box; well, I started to anyway. Drifted off in minutes, but only for an hour or so, I sprang awake with Thought-Stormsrattling away in my head, so persistently.

Got up, and I took the belated evening medications. I got a drink of orange juice from the fridge and took a photo of the evening view. I looked much more vivid than it appears in this sad picture on the right here.

Back to the recliner and climbed into it. The Thought-Storms had gone, and Sweet Morpheus soon took over… Fantabulous!

Impacable-Inchy – Monday 15th March 2021 Diary

♥ A Touch of TFZer Class, here! ♥

INCHCOCK TODAY

Monday 15th March 2021

WELSH: Dydd Llun 15fed Mawrth 2021

23:05hrs: I woke-up, requiring a wee-wee. Thus, I fought my sadly overly-stomached, jelly-like bellied body out of the recliner, wobbled onto my painful feet (*with the painful over-long, toe-nails), and caught my balance and grabbed Metal Mickey.

I limped to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket), expected a liquid surge to blast out, but only got a WUNT (Weak-Unwilling-Negligible-Trickling) outpouring.

Went to empty and sanitise the bucket and needed another wee-wee while washing my hands from the first one! A WDFL mode (Weak-Sprinkling-Fountain-Like) evacuation! Rewashed the hands, and changed PP’s, then off to the kitchen to get the kettle on. I took this picture of the cloudy night sky from the window.

I noticed how I had still got the watch on and also how red the skin was looking?

Made the brew, had another wee-wee (Tsk!) and got the Health Checks sorted out. Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd), had the SYS 148, DIA 77, and the Pulse a little higher at 93bpm.

The reliable, trustworthy, Chinese manufactured contactless thermometer gave a 37.2°c – 98.96°f, which was not too bad at all!

I went on the NHS site and but the program’s BP results and got this resulting graphic. Which I copied and pasted. The BP was rated as a little better than yesterdays.

But not to get too excited, it’s still in the High Blood Pressure level. Tsk!

Microsoft Excel allowed me access, and I updated the Health log. The pulse showed up as in the amber, but that’s better than the red ones earlier in the week.

I had to have yet another wee-wee! But this time, I checked the colour against the NHS Healthy Wee card.

I’d come right down from Level Six yesterday, Very Dehydrated; To level four – just dehydrated! So that was hopeful!

I made another brew of Glengettie tea, and I took yet another weak wee-wee, then got the photographs uploaded and tweaked for yesterdays and this diary.

I concentrated on updating the Sunday post. It took me a few hours, but I got it finished and posted it off to WordPress. Emailed the link and Pinterested some snaps.

I went on Facebook catching up (three wee-wees!) A big job this morning; I’d missed some things off yesterday, Humph! Then the summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived. So, off to the wet room, I limped, with the toes really playing up and stinging now?

The Throne session was not a good one at all!

  • Luckily, I didn’t delay getting to the Throne, and as I sat myself down, the flow began!
  • Then it stopped sharply. I got the pen and crossword book.
  • A minute later, it started again.
  • I could tell by the feel of things that it was a Trotsky Terence dominated affair!
  • I rose to look at the damage and was shocked by the amount of almost liquid evacuated red and black coloured stuff in the bowl!
  • This, of course, did not clear on the first flush. Not even the second and third either.’
  • Many manual tank refills by jug from the sink were needed, at least four, I reckon! I’m getting fed-up with having to do this!
  • As I was putting the lid back on and replacing the removed items, a sudden pain underfoot arrived?
  • I’d trodden on the pen! Smashed it, naturally!
  • Hurt the foot, goes without saying really, sorry.
  • I replaced the none-working radio and clock, toilet rolls, and kitchen towels. I’m getting fed-up with having to do this hemerine every morning! Still, I mustn’t complain, things could be worse, and they have been regularly! Humph!
  • Had a final wash, checked the taps (faucets) were not running, and back to the computer.

I went to take the morning medications, swallowing a Numark Anti-Diahorrea tablet with the others, and pressed-on with perusing and commenting on the new posts folks had posted. Next, I read and replied to some WP comments that had come in.

Then I needed another wee-wee! I mean, why? I’m only passing dribbles, but very often. With bother of intermittent PMDing (Pre-Micturition-Dribbling)! Oh, my, the whipper-snappers don’t know what’s coming to them in later life, poor things! Well, poor me, too! Hahaha!

After a few more spelling and grammar errors, it was time for the ablutions to be tackled. As seems usual lately, I got side-tracked and wandered of to wash the thick quilted jacket. I left it soaking in fabric softener and got to the wet-room for a jolly good. Much needed, cleaning up session.

Which went amazingly well! It was as if SSS and Nicodemus had turned themselves off, out of pity, to dissimulate their real intentions or to have me over on the floor later, I’m not sure, yet. Hahaha!

Sure, there were a good few dropsies, but nothing harmful, dangerous, overly painful, or even irking! It was as if an angel had got my back! It went so smoothly, I started to feel worried at the sheer unnaturalness of it. The drying-off was easy-peasy, no falls, no bangs! Even the medicationalisation was done without hassle or Accifauxpas! But, I chickened-out at putting any socks on, no point in pushing my luck too far; I felt sure I could hear a disappointed sigh from Sock-Glide-Glenda?.

I poked the new mark on the right foot, no pain at all, no itching either. I put some cream on it, but it turned a mustard colour, and it was a clear gel? But again, painless! Things can’t go on like this!

I got the handwashing rinsed and fabric-softened, wrung, hung and all done, hung them on coat hangers above the sink. The thick quilt shirt come jacket is going to take some drying. It should be ready to wear by the end of November, I think. Hehe!

My next task was getting the waste bags sorted out and made-up, and getting them in the box on the walker-guide trolley. Not an easy task! Bt the time I’d sorting myself out, there were two more bags to be added!

Trying to escape with the walker from the flat, I had a bit of bother. The box fell off, but I was in good spirits, if nervous, with the good luck… well, absence of bad-luck I’d had this morning. I soon got them back in the box and on the trolley walker.

I poddled along the length of the lift lobby and got into the room with, again, relative ease. Got all the bags down the chute, without any trapped fingers, dizzy’s, falls, trips, bangs, or knocks either!

Then, I bravely went down in the lift, on my way to visit the ICL, wardens interrogation room to advise them of the arrival of the Easter Eggs coming tomorrow. Well, that’s if Iceland and Sainsbury’s don’t substitute anything like pickled walnuts or toothpaste for them! Hahaha! But my main aim was to get some photographs of the Winwood Heights complex and get a natter in with somebody.

Which, after getting no answer to my phone call and no one in the office, I did on my walk back to the block of flats. The glass must be busy.

The top photo I took as I hobbled to the office, the regular bus out trippers were there on there way to the bus stop. Christine and Roy, and Angela were there, but I got no response to my greetings. Chance are they didn’t hear me, and I didn’t them. Hehehe! Old age, eh?

On the way back to Woodthorpe, I took a Winchester Court shot on the other side of the Walk, then Winwood Court, then my beloved Woodthorpe Court from the car park area. I’ll try ringing Deana, or whoever is in, later; I need to find out when the subsequent prescriptions are due and if I have an appointment for when the foot lady starts working again, tomorrow or not. The toenails are getting a bit painful now.

I got in the flat, having actually talked with no one, failed again!), and made an Iceland order up.

I found an easy method on the web of making pickled vinegar. Then, I added some bits to Sainsbury’s order. I put on some distilled pickling, wine and balsamic vinegar. I hope I can use dried dill in it, but I’ll give it a go. I’ve never had pickled vinegar and look forward to trying to make some. I’ll have all needed, I think, to give it a go. The vinegar, salt, sugar, black pepper, and a screw lid jar, but no fresh dill, just dried. Slicing the cucumber might be a bit risky, cut-finger-wise, though. Haha! I’ll ask the ailments to be incredibly kind to me when I make it.

Then I pondered over what I was going to have for today’s meal. After a bit of oohing and aahing, I decided to use up the last of the garden peas in a Chilli con carnie, and add passata with basil, to it. I took a packet of whole bread thins from the freezer to defrost on the window’s shelve.

Went on Gmail to see if owt had come in, and Jenny had sent one. Bless her, I replied, thanking her. Then I had a look for any WordPress comments, and I responded to it. Much time was spent trying to master the Kodak camera, far too long, without any progress being made. But, in the morning, I plan to use Kodak again – I’m determined to mast it! But don’t really expect to!

Then I went into mind-changing, Dithering mode again! I redecided over the meal. The peas, tomatoes and cooked meat, potato salad, roast onions, Marmite cheese, caramelised red onion chutney, wholemeal bread thins, chestnuts, and a custard & jelly dessert instead.

And by golly, it went down well! It took me some getting through, but I gave it a deserved flavour rating of 7/10. Ate it all bar the last slice of wholemeal bread thins!

Miraculously, the wee-wee I had after washing the pots was the last one of the day!

I reckon I settled down and had an uninterrupted straight five hours of heavenly bliss with Sweet Morpheus. Waking up, desperate for a wee-wee…

Impugner Inchy – Sunday 14th March 2021 Diary – I so dislike Sundays!

♥ Lucky Paul gets his TFZer! ♥

INCHCOCK TODAY

Sunday 14th March 2021

German: Sonntag, 14 März 2021

00:25hrs: I woke, worrying, fretting and almost panicking about life’s lousy leanings… But not for too long, a wee-wee was required, and the PMD (Pre Micturition Dribbling) could be sensed arriving.

Thus the swiftest-for-months escape from the recliner was performed, balance caught, and over to the already nearly full NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). A tight, trickling, stinging, spraying all-over wee-wee was taken; that didn’t last for long. So many followed, but I’ll not mention each one, Haha!

As I was taking the bucket to the wet room for emptying, sanitising and cleaning, it became apparent to me that I needed to use the Porcelain Throne. So, I did! And what a difference this time! A draw between Trotsky Terence and Constipation Konrad! Resulting in my having to wait for ages for things to start, despite the inner rumbling. So long that I got the crossword book out – mind you, I couldn’t get any clues answered, Tsk! When the motions began, so did the pain from my having to force things along, yet seconds alter the splattering, then the slashing into the bowl, signalled the end of the action?

Then the hard work had to be done. The tank was refilled three times, four-flushes, and a lot of cleaning up was needed. Then the emptying, cleaning and sanitising of the NWWB had to be done. I was knackered, and I’d only been up for about 20-minutes! I was glad I’d remembered to order some more toilet rolls next Tuesday twixt 08:00 > 09:00hrs, from Sainsbury’s. That is if they have some in stock, of course.

If not, they may send me some brown shoe polish or cough medicine as one of their infamous substitutes, I suppose. Snigger!

I went on the computer and started updating the Saturday Diary. The internet was slow this morning. But I pressed on and got it finished and posted off to WordPress. Then, I Pinterested some pictures and onto the WordPress Reader section. As I moved onto the Facebooking catch-up…

Took the missed earlier evening medications. And I put the kettle on. Had a wee-wee of a much different variety this time of the unexpected PSS (Persistent, Short, Sharp) mode. The pitiable but heartbreaking Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet came back on, of its own accord. A miracle?

Made the mug of Glengettie tea and went back onto the Facebooking. After a half-hour or so…

  They pay £23.4b to buy Virgin Media. Now, they merge with Telefonica’s British mobile company O2, in a deal worth £24Billion! The boss man Fries is on a salary of $2.4m, a $5m bonus for signing a new contract, stock awards of $79m, options worth $20.2m, and cash bonuses of $15.3m, plus expenses! Of course, I’m not jealous or anything like that! But I do wish he could get his bloody internet to work correctly!

I got around to doing the Health Checks at long last.

The old Boot’s made in China Sphygmomanometer showed up a slight increase in the BP figures. SYS up to 160, DIA to 71, but the PULSE down to 81bmp.

The reliable, trustworthy, Chinese manufactured contactless thermometer was in the green once more, at a reasonable 36.7°c – 98.6°f.

I managed to beat Microsoft again and gained access to my Excel HC listings to update them.

Fair enough, both Excel and Word blogged access later on in the day to me!

I put the BP figures into the NHS site and got this reading on the right back.

Still not good, is it, being in the Red still! Hey-ho! I did mention this to the nurse last week but got no response, so I assumed it must be okay.

I had a wee-wee of the SPL (Steady-Persistent-Lengthy) type, and back to the WP Comments and answering for a while.

Made a brew, got some biscuits and took a break for a while. The sunshine was coming out, the winds were howling, the ‘Hum’ was getting much louder, and started sneezing again?

I felt a lot better than I was yesterday, but the wobbles and weariness started about midday. Hopefully, and peradventure, it will not return again today… but it is a Sonnertag, so anything can happen!

I got a decent bit of handwashing done, rinsed, wrung and hung above the kitchen sink. Mostly thick clothing, so it’ll take a few days to dry-off properly.

Started the ablutions! Which produced some slightly annoying and comical happenings.

The toes were hurting when I took off the socks; the getting ever longer nails were starting to curve in and out. For the life of me, I can’t remember who cut them for me last time? Really sad, innit?

The session went well, other than the dropsies were more than ever before, not Nicodemus to blame this time, but the violent SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley). Although she calmed down later, nicely.

I got all sorted and showered after the session. Did the medications and started to get dressed. I opted to put some short cotton socks on to avoid using Sock-Glide-Glenda. (Yes, as cowards go, I’m up there with the best! Hahaha!) I got them on without any tumbles, but it was a painful experience.

I opened the pack of Tena PPs, to find they were of a different colour and pattern. Then realised on the label it said ‘Sport Pants’? They were smaller than the usual ones, and as I pulled them up, my fingers went through the toilet-paper like thin fabric! I was most disappointed, but I saw the funny side of the farce. Expensive job this! I also noticed the flobby, rotund wobbly belly was getting far too extensive now! I must cut down on the comfort food! I can’t believe I wrote that? Hehe!

I spent the next hour or so prepping Josie’s Sonnertag lunch. I washed up as I went along as best I could and had very few dropsies. Thus, I was a little impressed with myself for doing so. Then I presented the fodder to Josie at her front door, dead on the designated delivery time! She gave it a quick inspection, and the gal seemed happy with it.

I got the waste bags sorted out and filled, well, overfilled the box on the walker-guide. (Actually, I forgot all about doing this and left them there, not taking them out to the waste-room chute! In the morning, they were still there awaiting my attention) Hahaha!

I went into the wet room for a wee-wee on the way back, and as I opened the door to enter, A wanton, involuntary right leg Neuropathy Pete Schuhplattler dance erupted out of the blue! Luckily, no injuries this time or falling over. Just a little clout to the side of my head and earhole on the doorframe. It could have been a lot worse!

As I was washing the hands after the wee-wee, the weariness syndrome arrived. So, I thought I’d better get my nosh sorted before I fade too much. So, I did!

I made a few Dagwood style sarnies, with milk roll bread, beef and tomatoes: some potato salad, cheesy mash, garden peas, and a few vinegar-flavoured chip-sticks. Got settled in the c1968 recliner and slowly masticated away at the fodder on the tray. Flavour rating 7/10, the Iceland cooked pork was very thin and bland in the extreme, in fact, horrible and papery tasting to me! A shame that!

I washed the pots, wrung out the water from the hanging washing, had a wee-wee, and settled down to watch the TV. I checked the listings first – what a load of rubbish! Apart from a football match between Southampton and Brighton & Hove Albion, it was not worth watching. When the game had finished, I thought I’d put on a DVD… but the weariness was gripping me now, and I drifted off into a dream-filled slumber for a few minutes or so.

Being woken up by the pain from the toes as I moved my legs under the quilt. I’d got the camera on the Ottoman, so I took this photo of the pain-giving toenails! Why they were so bad, I didn’t know. I took off the socks, and they didn’t seem excessively long? But tender they were. Perhaps it was the old cotton socks that had irritated things?

I got up for a wee-wee (fed-up with this!) and resettled, suffered a Thought Storm, and flowed body and mind into the arms of Sweet Morpheus.

Idiotic-Inchcy – Saturday 13th March 2021 Diary

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Saturday 13th March 2021

Croatian: Subota, 13 Ožujka 2021

00:00hrs: Considering the truly low and depressed mood I found myself in last night, as I stirred into semi-life, I was suddenly aware that the gloom and doom tormenting my brain was gone, disappeared, no longer there! I found this rather flummoxing.

I was baffled as to why? Nothing had changed from yesterday. Had I been dreaming, and that may have had some effect in cheering me up? Was it the bang on the head when I took my tumble that brought it on in the first place? Hello, I’d better get up; I don’t want to encourage any Thought Storms! I need a wee-wee anyway.

I freed my overweight, flobby-stomached body from the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner with absolute ease – until I got the weight on the knees! Argh! Cathy Cartilage on the right knee, and Arthur Itis on the left one, were both so painful and in a bad mood with me this morning. The few hurtful paces to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket) indicated that this will be a less-than-easy hobbling about Saturday.

I fumbled about to get Little Inchie out and realised as I did so, the NWWB was over half full? Why does this happen so often? I must have made many trips to release this much wee-wee overnight? Yet I cannot recall getting up at all to do so? The pain I must have got from Arthur and Cathy getting out of the recliner so often, I’d have thought I would have been made me aware of what I was doing? My mind was soon cleared of this question, as the embarrassment of a somewhat significant amount of PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribbling) escaped into the half down PPs. By bottom-lip protruded, and after finishing, I took the bucket to the wet room for emptying and sanitising and got a clean-up and got a new pair of PPs on.

It’s time and incidents like this that really bring it home to one; the body is doing its own thing, the brain’s logicality loses its way, the memory is fading fast and now avoiding most of its retention powers. The bones, joints, and ticker etc., are crumbling without mercy. Still, yer doesn’t like to complain, does yer!

I got the kettle on to make a brew of Thompsons Punjana, and it sounded like someone had just turned the volume up on the ‘World-Wide-Hum’; Gawd, it was loud! And the heaters were not working again? Worra, life! But I imagine that there are many people in the complex in this position, not that it cures anything, but, at least, I am still aware of my senility is en route. I worry for the future, though. Blooming cold in here again! Weekend, of course, so no one to help me out with getting the heaters also going correctly.

Had another wee-wee of the IRPT (Indefatigably-Relentless-Painful-Trickling) mode.

I took the morning medications, then got the Health Checks done. The temperature was alright this morning; it seems to be getting steadier now. Of course, I shouldn’t have said that; it was silly of me! 36.7°c – 98.06°f. It was in the green, so it should be acceptable.

The Boot’s sphygmomanometer readings were decent, methinks. SYS 150, DIA 71, and the Pulse was at 84 bpm. As I was taking this, a headache came on suddenly, sharp to the right side of the head – then a minute later, it was gone?

Microsoft Office allowed me access to Excel to update the Health Checks listing figures.

Do you see that? Three, in-the-green temperatures on the trot there! Much better than earlier in the week.

I had another wee-wee, surprisingly, of the WUNT (Weak-Unwilling-Negligible-Trickling) style. Then made a start on the updating of the Friday Diary. Sorted the photographs out first, then got the scripting done. The ailments of concern were just two; Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters letting me down a few tines, and of course the SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) in support, but a lot less bothersome than she was yesterday. I perseverated and got it finished but had to have four wee-wees during the three hours of writing and correcting—all of the SPL (Steady-Persistent-Lengthy). I’m getting variety today, at least. Haha!

As I put the kettle on in the cold, shiver-giving kitchen (Heater still not working), I had to nip off to the wet room to utilise the Porcelain Throne. What going on here! Constipation Konrad seems to be fighting back? Heck of a job to get things moving, and it was gooey yet solid? The toilet rolls will have to be ordered today; if I can get a slot for an A.M. delivery. A good clean up, and pleasingly, the evacuated produce was cleared with just two flushes!

I had a wash-up and had another wee-wee, this time of the PSS (Persistent, Short, Sharp) mode. Another washing of the dandies, and back to the computer.

I Pinterested some snaps, Emailed the link, and went on Facebooking catch-up. Spent a long time on that. Two WordPress comments had come in, which I replied to. Then I visited the WordPress Reader Section. I had another wee-wee of the PSS (Persistent, Short, Sharp) mode… I think we can assume that every half-hour or so throughout the day, I needed and took a wee-wee; it’ll save me a lot of typing. Tsk! Then:

I went onto the Sainsbury site to see what slots were attainable. I got a slot for Tuesday 16th @ 8>9a.m. Do you know, I made a mistake and ordered some Fresh Cream French Horns.

Brekkers sorted out. And from here on, it is hit and misses, memory-wise, very patchy. Sorry.

Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling so good, perplexed, and tired out.

I had a weariness-attack, and I just turned off the computer and sat down on the recliner for many hours, watching some banal crap on the TV, but I couldn’t understand why. Doing nothing but grow fat by nibbling biscuits, crisps, ice-cream as well, I think?

The need for the Porcelain Throne then forced me to get up. I ached all over, was coughing and sneezing and felt under the weather, and confused. For some reason, I found out in the morning, I’d not cleaned up the wet room, Eurgh!

I actually made some more fodder! (I found this photo on the SD card). But can I remember making or eating it? No!

But I did find most of it in the bin later on in the night.

Along with this photo, taken through the balcony dividing glass? Not sure what, if anything, went on after that.

Mind you, Sunday morning, I did discover this snap on the camera-card. Also, that the fodder things were left loose in the sink bowel?

I’m sure that I sat down again, incapable of logical thought, and once more, spent hours just sat there, looking at the turned-off TV and fighting-off Thought-Storm-Thaddeus, but only half-heartedly. I think I was so down; I actually just accepted the self-criticisms, fears, worries etc., as a natural leveller, and a prevailing punishment, and part of my growing mental decrepitude.

The thought of having another banal Sunday to get through tomorrow was soul-destroying.

The resistant sleep did come eventually.

Impavid Inchy – Friday 12th March 2021 – Diary

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“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”


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Friday 12th March 2021

ITALIANO: Venerdì 12 Marzo 2021

23:25hrs: Horrible ever waking sleep last night. I was in the recliner for about five hours, though, but most of it spent waking up, thoughtless and vague-minded, and waiting to nod-off again! Grubblebleackers!

I got freed from the recliner, caught my balance quickly (Cartilage Cathy was so kind to me this morning, Yee-Ya!) By gum, it was cold in the flat. I wobbled into the kitchen and got the kettle on. Washed last night’s dishes and things and made a brew of Glengettie tea.

Then did the Health Checks. Pleased to see the SYS at 147, DIA 67 and PULSE down nicely to 83bpm. I didn’t adopt any Smug-Mode yet, mind.

I got the contactless thermometer out and was also satisfied with the resulting figure that it produced. 36.6°c – 97.88°f.

I took last night’s missed dosages of medications. (Fool!)

Got the computer on, and much to my surprise, Microsoft allowed me access to Excel and the HC logs to update. (Weich they denied me for all day yesterday – well, each time I tried, it was updating!

I’d let the tea go cold, so I made a Thompsons Punjana and then checked out the wall heaters that were not producing any heat at all! It was bloody cold in the flat, I can tell yers! Methinks I have problems with them!

I started to update the Thursday Diary. Got it finished, despite SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley doing her best to have the right arm torn-off at the glenohumeral joint! Hehehe! Vicious she was, for about an hour solid. That’s never happened before. Not for that long a period. Still, she eased off later. Painfully and persistently, I completed the task, and I posted some snaps to Pinterest.

Then, sent the Diary off to WordPress, emailed the link, and went on Facebooking catch-up. I discovered it was another lovely, loveable TFZer ladies Birthday, so I made a graphic and sent it off to her. Note I’ve lost so much weight… Hehehe! ♥

Made some comments on WordPress. I visited the WP Reader section, then the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived. Off to the wet-room, I hobbled. (Not so bad actually, Cartilage Cathy is still pleased with me and being gentle too!)

What a mess! Loose, yet gooey with it, short-lived, not a lot of it evacuated, and yet the gluey semi-liquid dollop just would not go away! Several refills of the tank by hand from the sink where needed, and five or six flushes! A jolly good job I had toilet paper spares, well that’s what they were, now more will be required, judging by the whole roll needed to clean things up.  Flibblegonkackles!

Apart from so many dropsies thanks to SSS, the stand-up session was only worthy of one mention with a difference. That was after nasal cleaning, teeth cleaning, shaving, bathing, and medicating…

Getting the socks on! It was even funny at the time! I forced the right leg up a little, wedged my bum on the door corner, got the sock part way on, and lost my grip (I do a lot of that!). The cotton sock shot off, hit the back of the closet box, and plonked down into the WC water! I tried to replicate what I would have been doing and made a photo of it afterwards. Another pair of socks were utilised. The legs seem to be retaining fluid again?

The Iceland Foods delivery is due twixt 06:00 > 08:00hrs, but I’d got the ablutions sorted early enough to do the hand-washing in the kitchen sink sorted. All done, wrung, and hung above the sink on hangers. The Lily and Yang Yang scent in the Surf soap powder has a delightful smell.

I took a Canan camera photo of the morning view as I put the kettle on and made a mug of Glengettie brew.

I checked the heater in the kitchen, and it was warm now; I turned it up somewhat, as the weather forecast is so gloomy for the next 24-hours.

I took a shot of Chestnut Walk and the car park on it.

Time getting close now for the food to arrive. After it does and I get it stored away, I’ll see how supplies look and if another Sainsbury order might be a good idea, depends on what slots are available. Sometimes it’s a long wait to get one.

I did some updating on this post and then made another brew, Thompsons Punjana, this time. No time to drink it, the intercom rangeth and flashed, it was the Iceland Food delivery arriving, I pressed the entry button and awaited his arrival.

The Iceland man dropped the begs… begs? Yet another cock-up wiv me grammar, Tsk!), bags I meant, through the doorway for me. Slipped him a choice of cans of plonk, and off he trotted on his mission to feed the nation!

I took the carriers through to the kitchen and went on the internet to see if anything was short delivered or substituted.

Does yer know, there wasn’t a single substitution, and nothing short delivered… Even more surprising, there was nothing found to be short-dated either, as well, besides! Iceland outdid themselves with this delivery, a definite, very welcome first!

I was well pleased, but of course, I’d not checked for any damaged, crushed or leaking goods yet, so I resisted going into a Smug-Mode for the time being.

I set about putting the frozen stuff away first. As you can see in the photograph here on the right, it was all healthy living stuff. Well, I forgot to get the chips. Hahaha! Still a kid at heart, I am!

Next, I put away the fridge items, far better foodstuffs. Topside beef slices, pork & Pickle mini pork pies, sweet chilli chicken, chicken thighs, potato salad, egg-mayonnaise, and some strawberry and whipped cream desserts. Now I’ve put the spell checker on; the previous sentence had eight mistakes on it! Ahem! Got the other stuff in the bathroom and cupboards.

The YourArea magazine arrived, so I investigated. The lottery winner had been sentenced for his appallingly dangerous driving in which he killed a 75-year-old lady in the car he’d drifted across the road, and his BMW then crashed head-on into an oncoming Ford Fiesta.

I say sentenced; he got away with a 16-week suspended sentence and a one-year driving ban! For a £45 million lottery winner, that’s really going to bother him, innit! And the poor husband has lost his wife through Topham’s ignorance of the law and lack of concentration in driving, and I believe still in the hospital.

The now 31-year old Topham said in court: “I honestly don’t believe I thought about what I was about to do,” he said. “If I could take it back, I would, but I can’t.” (Me, me, me!) Huh! Generalfeldmarschall Friedrich Paulus said that after Stalingrad, will have to find money from his £45m for taxies? Some sodding deterrent that was! Was the jury back-handed? Just asking! I bet he the had best expensive lawyers!

At least I found some goodish news on the Covid-19 figures locally.

I decided to get some late brekkers.

I called Warden Deana on the phone, got a recorded message.

Phone the Doctors Surgery, got a recorded message.

I went to make a brew of Glengettie, and I took a tumble as I bent down to check the heat not coming from the radiator. Clouted the head on the ledge on the way down, and SSS started to play up as I struggled back up onto my feet with the help of the stove.

Made the tea and had a sit-down. I’m not sure what happened then, but I assume I fell asleep cause it was hours later when I seemed to wake-up, head pounding. I took a Codeine 60g. I didn’t feel poorly, just confused.

Did some updating of this post, but concentration was not coming to me easily. 

It’s still a bit of a blur. No notes on the pad had been added, so I assume I’d nodded off again cause I woke up in the recliner. Feeling peckish, I made a meal of sorts made up. Didn’t enjoy it much, but I’ve had worse, though. A taste rating of 6/10 was given.

I had a surreal few hours then.

In the morning, I found these photographs of the TV screen on the SD card?

Yes, it beats me why, as well!

After perusing the pictures, I assumed that I’d been watching, or falling asleep to and waking, Law & Order, Tales of the unexpected, many adverts and commercials, and possibly even a Nightmare Kitchen episode?

All I can remember for definite is that I was having difficulty in getting to sleep. I did keep nodding off, I think, but the nods only lasted a few seconds each time?

I noticed it was 19:00hrs on the clock, then went into a Thought Storming period.

A bad one, guilt, despair, mistakes, isolation, depression and fear all played a part. These went on for ages, with some emotional events from the past repeating!

I was fighting with my memory for some unknown reason, and I became self-loathing in the process.

I was pointless concerning myself with banal questions and seeking positive answers; Had I been to the Porcelain Throne today? What to do about the ear-ache? I must get a Sainsbury order done tomorrow, etc., on and on the silliness of life came at me, sadly, along with the regular guilt, shame and embarrassment. I really did feel so; what’s the word I’m looking for… lambasting and self-chastising. Oh, that’s two words!

I did eventually nod-off, and when I woke up, I wondered if my memory had been warped as I recalled how I’d felt, but the sense of doom and gloom was no longer lingering?

Isn’t life funny at times?