Not feeling well at all

Flaky Acne Inchy: Friday 18th October 2024

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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Just half a mile away from the flats. A lot has been happening around here lately. Two pensioners mugged at the bus stop in Sherwood. Three drug raids with sight from the kitchen window. The 13-year-old in Carrington with weapons. Carrington Co-op staff attacked by shoplifters. Care Home closed down after patients died overnight, and no one noticed until the morning wake-up call. Humph! No, sorry, that was in Nottinghamshire!
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Yet another nodding off and waking up again every few minutes of the night.
Then, taking off the nocturnal catheter pouch, I felt pain from Little Inchy. I must remember some things; I wrote down some reminders and left them in the Carer’s folder. Some carers do all these jobs, but other non-regular ones mean I have to remember to ask them, and I forget too so often.: â‘  I must ask the Caregiver to replace the day catheter bag, and â‘¡ put the pouch sleeve back on. ③ I must get the full ablutions done early! (I’m sorry if I disturb any neighbours with the noise, but my lower regions will need medical attention to investigate why this morning’s terrible pains came on. Things are much easier to get at in the shower and easier to clean in the event of any bleeding.) â‘£ Remember to ask for the vitamin tablet. ⑤ Ask the Carer to take the laundry down for me. â‘¥ And to put my diabetic socks back on for me. The last item on the memo was aimed at me only; ⑦ It is guaranteed that the computer will stop me from getting graphics and photos onto WordPress or any file (Sadly!). I must not get all het-up when this happens; I’ve been getting myself in a bit of a state with the frustration & depression it causes. Now, even if only protem, I have written down the actions needed to try and correct it, and it usually works, but it takes me over the day, hours!
Maybe I wanted to mention this as a cry for help. We’ll see if I can stay calmer today when it happens. Or I should say, each time it happens. Sad, innit?

On my way to the wet room, I went into the kitchen to check that the faucet doors and cooker had been left safely.
Just look at the foggy view I photographed from the kitchenette window! I noticed the kitchen clock—it was only 04:00 hrs! A smidge of guilt arose within me for having a shower so early in the day.

I got the bath towel from the airer, turned it off, ensured there was enough medical stuff to use, and started the proceedings.
First, the Porcelain Throne. What a gooey, sticky mess. I think I used a full roll of toilet paper and tissues to clean myself up after the evacuation. The Dettol disinfectant was almost used up.
Then the teeth, and then I started shaving. I couldn’t understand why I had so many cuts and nicks. They were no bother whilst I was shaving. The back of the head, almost on the neck, suffered the most; there were too many to count, but none of them were any real bother. Another mystery is that being bald, I’ve never had to shave the neck for donkey years. Then, at the end of last year, the hairs started to grow there again. Last week, Carer Christopher said they were white. Haha! 
Now, the pleasant bit, getting under the shower.
I had a leisurely but good session. I used the long brush to try and remove as much of the eczema as possible on the ankles, and I hosed the skin down the drain hole. 
I sat in the shower chair to investigate the cause of Little Inchy’s pain. I was baffled! There were only a few specks of blood from the Fungal Lesion, far less than usual in the morning, yet while I was in the shower, no pain at all? I found out later that it came on mostly when I was seated throughout the day. I didn’t want to stop the showering; I enjoyed it so much. Little Inchy was not enjoying it. Because my taking off the bag cover pouch to have the shower meant, as I exited, the bag was swinging and pulling on Little Inchy. But I think I’d done well all the same in this session… Then, after drying myself off with the bath towel under the wall heater, I needed to get the medicationings done… Oh, dearie me! I did something I’ve never done ever since the cancer and lesion were treated. For years, I’ve left medicating the most painful, the lesion, until last – today, I started with that task. A few Oohs and the drop Arghs were expounded, with the odd Ouch thrown in. Perfectly normal!
Then, I went to get the Ketoconazole ointment. But they had sent a different one this time, Betamethasone cream. Carer Chloe told me earlier when it was delivered that the contents were exactly the same as the usual Clotrimazole ointment. I got the thin application sticks, ensured Little Inchy was 100% dry, and popped some on the end. I started to rub it in with the usual preparedness for pain. Why have I not been given this one before? I’m not saying it didn’t hurt, but it was far less painful than the regular one! I was pleasantly pleased!
Then, the hard-to-get-at job; well, not on the face, but the ankles. The cream. I put cream on a tissue or muslin strip and use the picker-upperer to get it on the ankles. No problem. The eczema on the arns was easy to reach. Then, the red rash was ointmentated. The ears were olive-oiled. Then, the not-cheap Blepha eye treatments were done. Thank heavens that the NHS has not stopped funding the cost of the Phorpain Gel for the knees, Arthur Itis, and Duloxetine Cartilages Carole & Chloe, and for Colin Cramps.

Finally, the ablutions were completed. It was a long, long session. After belatedly changing the date and day, I took this picture of the antiquated 1970s clock.

Jiminnee Cricket, the fog was even thicker now. Took this snap. I got the kettle on to brew tasty Thompson’s Punjana tea.
Carer Chris arrived while I was on the computer and coming out of a . The lad didn’t need asking; he got the diabetic socks on, the med pouch, and the Vit B12 tablets. I thought, by gum, he’s on form this morning. Then I remembered I’d left the note on his table. Hehehe!

I started blogging stuttering, and it only got stutterer as time passed. The cCleaner routine had to be activated and completed before I could get the third graphic on this post. It was not as successful as yesterday’s, and within an hour or so, the failure to save things started again!
I was about to begin it, and Carer Joanne arrived. She’d been to the hospital again and was not pleased with the lack of interest shown in her catheter problems and pain. I felt terrible for her. She would not have said anything unless I had asked how she was doing in that department. She’s the salt of the earth kind of lady, so I like her. I resisted telling her about the pain I was in with mine. I thought there was no need to make things damper.
Bless her cotton socks.

She departed, and I again went through the albeit unguaranteed-to-work computer memory recovery program. I happened to note the time when I started this: 13:40 hrs. I got it done—I thought—at 15:35 hrs! But it lasted for only three photos to get on. I’m using some of those in the gallery, where they were suitable. I took a lot of photos as well.

I am now starting the third procedure but with little faith. At least, up to now, I’ve not sunk into silly thoughts with the depression. I’ll be back in a couple of hours, I imagine. And try to load the photos again. I can feel some emotion brewing, so I anticipate losing it. Back later.

Good Heavens, it worked! I hastily uploaded the photos to the gallery, but I fear I may have put them in the wrong order, so they may be from different times. Sorry.

The Iceland delivery arrived.
The driver kindly took the carrier bags to the kitchen for me. Thanks.
At long last, there is food in the fridge. I felt guilty when Carer Chloe found all the food out of date the other day. Was it yesterday? Who knows, not me. Hehehe!
The three bags of frozen food to the right in the photo on the left cost me just a pound! They were battered fishcakes, battered fish, and battered potatoes. Lovely!
The fridge looked a little fuller now, and while putting things away, I decided to have lamburgers in wholemeal bread rolls, maybe with some tomatoes and potatoes, as well. Or Marmite rice cakes—I might like that.
Slurp & Yummy!

I’ll get some time in on the WP Reader and then sort out the meal. I’m getting tired now, but I’ve kept calmer and more accepting of the situations.

I managed to get these snaps in here in the morning. Just before CorelDraw crashed again! Fed up? YES!
Kitchen window before the rain poured down.

I thought I’d remember from which of the different views I’d taken these from, but CorelDraw kept refusing to allow me to save the odd one and I go confused as to which was which.
I think this one on the left was taken higher in the sky.
Such beautiful clouds before the storm didn’t look like they were holding rain to drop on us. Hehe!
I’m sure this on on the right was take to my right, towards the North. Blue patches of sky coming through. You ca see part of the outer of the balcony in this shot. I got back onto the computer.

CORELDRAW SCARE!
I saved the CorelDraw Graphics and pressed to turn off the programme. The screen darkened, and a message came up;
Crucial CorelDraw Update – click to install.
So, I clicked “Turn off CorelDraw until the installation guide appears.” But the CorelDraw screen was shaded and unreachable!
The update started. Finished, and no Installation Guide.
I clicked the open CorelDraw 2024 button…
Nothing happened.
So, I closed things down and pressed the restart computer option. The computer loaded. I clicked the CoralDraw button, and it started to load, but it crashed!
I tried again. It started to load, but it crashed!
In desperation, I turned off the computer. Gave it a few minutes before starting from scratch again.
I clicked the CoralDraw button, and it started to load. Then, a form to fill in and return appeared, telling me that CorelDraw had closed unexpectedly and asking me to fill it in and send an email to the… well, I assume there are some real people at CorelDraw or IT clones. Still, I’ve filled this block in dozens of times and never got a reply.
I don’t suppose I will this time either.
However, CorelDraw carried on loading this time before it crashed again.
After the trying day, I was in low spirits, so I just turned everything off and had the lamburgers.
We’ll see what happens with CorelDraw in the morning.

One feeling downtrodden, a failure, and with poor Little Inchies fungal lesion being caused pain via the Catheter Contraption stuck in him; My thoughts were not exactly of contentment, more resentment. I caught an accidental look in the wet room mirror as I washed, and Gawd, did I look pale or what! Tsk!
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Not one of my betterer days.

TTFNski!

Denizen Inchy: Thursday 29th August 2024

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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Annovera bad day, mood-wise.

0:45hrs: Pretty yellow wee-wee. Not much, mind you.

Morning views.
From the kitchen.

I got some clothes that no longer fit me and made two more bags. I don’t know how I can get them to the charity shop. I’m not putting the old stuff in it; they went in the waste bags.
I got the computer booted and made a brew of Glengettie. The following two did as well.

This tiny catheter pouch is more than a nuisance. It has to be emptied to soften, and the cup-of-water-sized bag makes it painful. I get dizzy when I have to bend down to reach the release valve, which still rests on my left foot. The mega-thick tube they put on is far too long.
Hey-Ho!

I finished and sent off yesterday’s blog. Then, they started a new word list for the ode and got carried away. I don’t know why the pouch didn’t burst.

The Morrison order arrived.

I think my feeling as depressed as I am may be worse than the frustration of not being able to pull out of it? 

I’d treated myself to luxury foodstuffs: a big pot of Lemon Curd and four tiny pots of Lemon and lime yoghourt.
Orange and yellow tomatoes and some giant red spring onions. Nice!
But the best bit of it all was being told they had no fresh garden peas available. Knowing the season was ending, but, they sent three 500gr  bags for me!
So, everything else was backlighted.

I was tempted to put my torque on. Hehe!
As I scattered so many peas all over the kitchen, there must have been… well, I’d guestimate about twenty peas over the whole session, which pinged off in different directions during the shelling session. I only managed to retrieve three of them.
It’s a little like socks that disappear when put into the washer or spin dryer, never to be seen again.
It took a long time to complete them, and I kept popping some in my mouth as I went along. Haha!
Then, I put them in a mini saucepan to marinate with the demerara sugar and sea salt I’d added.
I thought I’d watch the TV while continuing the blogging.
But I didn’t. It seems that some Whoopsiedangleplop had affected Virgin TV. Again!

I decided to get the ablutions tackled. And although something had to go wrong, it was chicken feed compared to my usual disasters.
The teeth-cleaning saw no blood leaks! The nasal clearing saw none either. Then the shaving was tackled… Believe it or not, but once again, no cuts – Zero! Had I not been already depressed so much, this would have cheered me up more.
The first obstacle that hindered (hurt) me so much was getting my diabetic socks off! Then offing the straps from the pathetic new catheter contraption. Painfully, I
finally got them off, and it had left me feeling a smidge dizzy from all the bending down.
But a man of my calibre, courage, determination, and grit, this was no trouble.
I had a slow, long shower, which was spoilt a tiny bit by having to use the handrails all the time while coping with the showerhead due to my unsteadiness. However, no stubbles, falls, or banging into anything were suffered! .

I realised I had not put the bath towel in the bag yesterday! I don’t like using one too often. But I lost one when someone nicked my laundry and bag a few weeks ago, and I keep forgetting (as is to be expected) to buy a new one. I recall thinking to myself, “I must order one today,” as I left the wet room to get dressed.
Even the medicating was almost pain-free! Amazing!
, who has not visited me for days now, took her opportunity at the optimum time to issue the maximum pain. As I was carrying the stick, towels, Alarm bracelet, and flannels to go in the laundry bag before I got dressed, she kicked off, and in the process, she shoulder-charged the bloody door frame!
Still, apart from this, I’d done well! As I emptied the pouch for the fifteenth time today, I saw how good the legs looked. Even the ankle ulcers seemed to be calmer. And incidentally, I’ve hardly had any of the expected lighting strikes from , either. Puzzling.

Took this snap of the clouds as I started getting the food prepared. 
Closing WP and the computer now. Hunger has returned to torment me. Haha!

I was happy with the result of the food prepping. It was the battle in podding the peas. I do love them peas. It may have been a higher rating, but the potatoes weren’t cooked enough; everything else was a treat. Adding the slices of red spring onion to it did the trick and tanged it all up. After gorging myself, I fell asleep with the tray balancing on my super-floppy ginormous belly. Work later with it in the same position, and not spread all over me and the floor. The ablutions going so well, too. Is my luck changing for the better? What am I saying… Tsk!
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Please Have a Great Day!
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Ironical Inchy: Thursday 7th March 2024

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Definitely worry about this colour!

An eerie, misty morning. I like it!

Ablutions and medicating tackled.

Gums bleeding after teeth cleaning.
Shaving, eight tiny nicks, no bother!
Showering: I deliberately took my time doing this. And I got through it without a single Accifauxpas or Whoopsiedangleplop. Smug-Mode Engaged!
Medicationalisationing: Harold’s Haemorrhoids were exceptionally tender. Little Inchy was bloodied, but nothing unusual in this. Olive oiled the earholes.
I applied eye sprays. Phorpain gelled both cartilages; I put plenty on and rubbed it in well.
Then, the big challenge… Getting the
Protection Pants on. A bit of a farce… However, I did eventually get them on, but a slight tearing of the pants was overcome by my ingenious (well?) plan to use the Catheter tape to hold them together.
I even walked out of the wet room without knocking into the door frame. Smug-Mode Mark2

I started this blog but haven’t gotten very far…
For then, the interruptions flowed.
The gentleman from Diabetes Support rang. He explained that they could not meet me face-to-face, but I could use the App. I asked what that was: On your
mobile phone! – My mobile phone does not have internet access! – What? – My mobile phone does not have internet access! Well, use your iPad! (I’m not sure if he said iPad or ePad) – What are they? I can use my computer, can’t I? – No, it is not set up for computers,  ask your doctor if she can arrange anything!
So, my hopes of getting any help with Diabetes 2 were over. I’ll have to find the time to search for advice on my computer. Felt a smidge low now.

Another try at blogging… The landline chimed and flashed; It was someone asking about the bed. Had the bar been fitted or not? – Yes! – Then someone will come out to you with a new mattress. – The one on the bed is new, I think? – That one was the wrong size! – Yes, they sent the wrong-sized bar as well. – That’s why I’m checking to see if the new bar has been fitted – Yes…
Can we come to fit the new mattress today? It’s no problem; I’m in all day. – Good!
I was a little perplexed, but I had to get back to starting this blog (I never did; you’ll gather that as I waffle on about my busy day).

Back to the blogging…

Carer Kara called; she only had 15 minutes, but she did an amazing job getting my socks on, checking the catheter bag, and putting my mind at rest about an email I’d had. Got the medications given and had to rush off. Thanks, Kara! ♥

Carer Christopher returned the laundry, and I put it away. Now, it’s well into the second half of the day!

Back to blogging…

I decided to make the second brew of the day; the first went cold again. I filled and sealed the waste bag.

Back to blogging…

The man with the mattress arrived. He was helpful; he had to remove the old mattress and put the new one on from the junk room (but they are all junk rooms).
Showed me how to use the lifter/lower control.

Back to blogging…

For about five minutes, it gave me time to put the first photos on in the wrong order and change them to where they should be…
I was sorting the wristbands out, and one of them snapped. I swore and bent down to retrieve it…
Clouting my forehead on the way down against the edge of the open drawer. Got up a little too quick, and paid me a visit. Naturally, this was of no bother to a man of my calibre and resistance to pain; I laughed the matter off. Ahem!

It was getting late, so I gave up on the blogging as the tiredness and fog descended.

I took this photo as I went to the kitchen to make some nosh. Carer Chris arrived, looking in a rush. Well, it was his last call before his going home time. Hehe!

The meal consisted of a four-bean stew with added mini sausages and baguettes. A lemon yoghourt, too!

I emptied the day bag and was ready to attach the nocturnal pouch. Getting so tired now!

Even I did – Easy-Peazy for once!

TTFNski

Inchy: Sat 6 Jan 24 – Down in the dumps, High in the clouds, but generally Disconsolate

/ Inchie / 12 Comments

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Not much passed overnight.

First things: Escaped the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety recliner. Balance exercises, then…

This sad photo was taken from the kitchenette window. Supposedly, a close-up of Cavendish Avenue.
Then, I tried to get a decent view of the horizon

Consistent!

Had a mug of J.S. red label Ex-Strong tea

arrived. No socks or strappings were needed, as I intended to get a shower later.
But this didn’t happen. Humph!
I asked the lad if he could help me with assembling of the table. Negative response. But I still gave him his treats, as usual. Bless him!

Bit of a change here…

Catching up with the blog for Friday. For about three hours of error-ridden writing. 

Visit four: Another variation on an old theme.

Another attempt at a decent photo as it got lighter.

I nearly got caught out when the day punch suddenly filled up again. A little dark, still, too.

Hours later, I nipped out on the balcony to view the end car par mudslide. Shrinking back again. It might be gone soon if we do not get any more rain, perhaps?

Called. We had a little natter and treat sharing. No painkillers are needed.

Then, I decided to make an early meal.
Surimi sticks, tomatoes, beetroot, chips, cobs, with a  side of Chop sauce. Not bad at all.

Slurped!
Ice cream followed.

I was drained, and I put the computer in ‘sleep mode’ and fell blissfully asleep… for five minutes or so. 
Tormenting, teasing dreams that even I could barely understand flowed for a couple of hours or more. Constantly bursting awake… Yet seemed to go back to sleep immediately? It was as if I wanted, needed, I had to, involuntarily, get back to the nightmares. Oddest few hours mentally than I’ve had for weeks! I’m certain that I was talking to myself all the way through!
The need for yet another visit to the Throne was welcomed. Bad as it was, it broke my determination to try to get back to the mental turmoil of sleep.
How messy… but welcome?

Late sunset photos were taken.
Lovely shade on view.
Tried a little closer.
Then, to the left slightly.

Carer arrived; I was out of reality; I could not even remember who called. I found a set of Health Check figures in the morning, so I must have taken his B.P. I think it may have been Victor or Israel?
I’ll publish the latest in the morning.

Hunger Again – I’m eating far too much lately!
Frustration? – Depression? – FND?
Naughty!

CHEERS!

Inchy: Sunday 31 December 2023 Worst FND affected day ever!

/ Inchie / 11 Comments

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A confusing day. Mind Blanks, drifting off into sleep, even when on the computer. I’d had the longest unbroken sleep for ages, yet this did nothing to curb the drooping eyes, lack of concentration and endless run of depression bouts, varying between a few minutes, and hours. I have been nibbling all day long, never eaten so much in a day for many a month.
Generally feeling fatigued without cause or reason.

0400hrs; Woke up, and just laid there, almost unthinkingly,  in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibblings, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly-grotty, no longer working, dirty beige recliner, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300, ten years ago from the charity shop. Four what must have been an hour or so. Joined by , which I don’t think bothered me too much at the time. It felt like having a video playing repetitively in my head, over several mistakes and bad options I’d taken many years ago. I surrendered any resistance, considering myself worthy of the self-lambasting verbal flow.

A good shade this morning.

Three early morning views.
The high moon in the amazingly light sky.

When I got back to the kitchen, the sky seemed to have gotten a lot, very grown much darker?
Or, did I set wrongly?
Closer up.
Even closer.

Not sure why I took this one.

I mosied along to the computer and got myself in a pickle, as I made so many errors, unfelt key depressions, and ended up having to close each open programme, and restart, in the hopes of getting the keyboard that I’d some-buggered up. Miraculously, when I rebooted it was working again.
This temporarily cheered me up.

I went out on the balcony to try and take a shot of the end car park, now seemingly permanent mudslide.


A pad patch here. Two hours at least. I’d just become aware of things, and a new Carer Called. I hope she does again, too. , a lovely gal. She introduced herself, and got the leg strappings on, and sorted the medications for me.


Well, blanks, really. Several over about an hour

I can recall taking this shot. I was in a depression at the time; the keyboard was playing up again… or maybe was, or both of us?

A Carer called, who and when I’m not certain. But after she or he had been, I deflated spiritually and physically. The computer turned off, and I got an early meal made. I swear I thought I’d taken two photos of that meal, recalling that the first one was so bad, that I took another one. But much, much later, hours later, after my failed attempts at sleeping or watching TV, when I got around to putting the photographs on the blog, it was on the card. Yet, the photo of the ice cream I had for desserts, was there on the SD card? !

The attempt to get to sleep failed.
So, I tried watching TV. That failed and became so annoying, I got all agitated with myself. I get have few nodding-offs of a minute or so. No phone calls came in all day. Which is not unusual, but this brought on another depression and bouts of self-pity.
I am having a bad day.
Cheered when I had an Email from HRH Lisa. ♥

I literally sat there afterwards, with the TV pointlessly on, not being controllable, as, indeed, my mind was in a similar position, hazy.

I decided to get back on the computer again and I might as well stay up to get some New Year fireworks shots taken. But my confidence in getting any is minimal, to say the least. But I’ll try, but will I cope with falling asleep and missing them… or the shots coming out badly? Which is likely, as I type this, my old friend is kicking off, and not showing any signs of stopping yet. 

Pressed on with this blog, to get as much done as I can before the planned fireworks photographicalisationing begins. If I don’t fall asleep! I didn’t. I think I was doing graphics for the blogs for a couple of hours, but it was going excruciatingly slow.
The late Carer removed the ankle and leg strappings and ointmentated the lower legs. They were not painful at all during the day but started itching away on removal. Resisting scratching was a hard job. Hehe! However, they were a lot better than they had been lately, so a positive at last. The only pain was from the ingrowing toenail toe, that I proceeded to make worse by stubbing it on the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner leg. It seems to be going a darker colour and bent more now?

Around 23:00hrs, I tried to take a decent shot of the end car park mudslide; you can just make it out.

The time (midnight) came for me to attempt to take the New Year fireworks photos from the kitchen window. Unbelievably bad shots they were too!

Unintendedly artistic, though?
Unintendedly artistic, though?
Unintendedly artistic, though?
Unintendedly artistic, though?

For a New Year, suitably so,
Artistic, but not a Gainsborough,
Showing a hint of fe-fi-fo?

As into the New Year, we flow…
As a sage, these things I know,
Sunak Rishi will have to go…
A defeated Tory will whistle-blow!
The little boats will exceedingly grow…
For Starmer, a coming body blow!
He will become a confused Pinocchio, 
World War instigated via Moscow,
President Xi Jinping, China, also!
Arms Oligarchs’ wealth, will overflow,
The West will lose its limited Mojo,
Europe will ban alcohol & tobacco…
Legalise Cocaine, & Heroin, taxed though,
Then replace football with Subutteo, 
Europe will become the last Alamo,
The smaller free word, ran by the Mafioso!
Of course, this is all rubbish – Cheerio!

Another bite to eat.
Two slices of plain bread, with one…
Gorgeous early morning supper!

Oh, I only just remembered…

TTFN, All!

Inchy: Thursday 14th December 2023

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Not well today, Sorry.
I did my bestest…

Worra mess!.

Accifauxpas!

Nosh

Bus sign & Bobbies Helmet is blue.

TTFN

Inchy: Fri 10 Nov 23 No Help-Alarm Now!

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Well, well, well! Another series of cock-ups, disappointments, failures, frustrations and a fair share of self-misanthropicalness thrown in today, Again!
The landline telephone that went down yesterday brought more worry again today. After trying to press the Alarm Alert button while Carer Sam was here, the Panic Alarm was not connecting either! Carer Sam said she’d tell someone about it.
A fine time to take a tumble or go arse-over-tit, innit?
This, along with , bringing tablets back up. Bring up vicious winds. Ever present & the mind-killing carping on at me, it was another frustrating, barely tolerable day at moments. With misappropriate, miscomprehending mental mind meanderings, making anything simple seemed to be a mountain to tackle! Messy!
I felt pitiful, self-critical one moment, then snivelling psychologically damaged erk the next. Later, despite the concerns and worries, I’d find myself singing 1962 songs, and it seemed, genuinely unbothered about things? But somehow, I knew at that time, in the back of my so-called mind, that this would crumble again soon, and the loathed, nay, feared, opens the barn door for , and the cycle of freeing myself from his grip begins again. I seem to do this in auto mode; the short-term memory can have greatly opposite benefits, as in this case. Conversely, mega-frustration and self-criticism can develop when you genuinely cannot recall what you were doing or going to do. When the turn into a , then the tormenting bafflements sink in.
I can never forget what I was doing before the blank period. Sort of coming around or back into focus, often hours later, the interim time’s activities are lost forever.
When the Doctor calls me next Wednesday, I hope to have made a list of my ailments and problems, possibly with the help of , if possible. So I don’t miss anything off the notes that may need mentioning. Later on today, I got a call from the Doctor’s surgery. I couldn’t hear who it was, but some medico would call on me in the morning on the 4th of December. (Mobile or in person?)
Another took over when I realised that, yet again, I got the order from Asda all wrong. I’d have bet money on double-checking and finding it right, but no! I intended and thought I’d ordered it for next Thursday. It came this morning! Can I get any help with this problem? Of course not. One becomes aware of The mind’s fallibilities whenever Doreen Dementia… No, I forgot, nowadays it is, of course, it’s who’s the culprit, the brain-slayer. Yet, here I am writing away, with problems from failing, typing and sensing with the finger ends, which causes some complicated issues with the computer at times. However, at this moment, my brain seems concentrated on what I’m doing? These odd moments of semi-clarity never last for long; they never do. Sadly.
Another thing that amazes me even more is how I can still do the silly Odes. They seem to flow from my distorted brain quickly enough. Typing them can be frustrating, but not the creating? Ah, there is one problem I do often have is: when I get an idea for a funny line and have to check nowadays to see if the word is suitable, spelt right, and rhymes, I’ve forgotten what I was going to write on that line using the aforementioned words or words. Yet the ideas still come without much prompting? I mentioned this once to the lady at the bonkers hospital meeting. I do not think I got any acknowledgement or response.
is constantly with me. Day and sometimes wakes me up at night to have a go at me for my failings, past guilts, wrong decisions, etc.
A new worry to add to the list: The telephone has stopped working. Today, I tried to test the Emergency Wrist Alarm. That is not working either! Now, this does worry me. He was with me at the time this failure occurred. She told me she’d mention it to someone. But being a Friday afternoon, and the Wardens leaving soon for the weekend, my hopes of getting any help are minimal… or slightly less, of getting anything done about the problem before next week! 
Now that I’ve mentioned this on the blog, my worry mode has kicked in. What if I do have a tumble, a bad cut, another stroke or get a panic attack? How can I summon help other than with the mobile phone, which is not easy to use nowadays anyway? I will always try to remember to keep the Nokia with me while there is no Alarm to raise for help. But naturally, for me, remembering is not going to be easy. So, if the blog suddenly stops, the reason may well be that I’ve collapsed and died slowly, an overweight, crumpled heap on the carpet, over the weekend in agony. Oh, no, the Carers will call. They know or should have been told of my high-risk factor with no way of summoning help and may make extra checks on me; bless them. So, if they forgot to tell the Wardens or the Wardens had gone home before they got there, it would be Monday before they could be informed of my plight. Then, wait for the Nottingham City Homes to be informed and respond. I don’t intend to have another stroke, heart attack, panic attack or bleed to death, but just in case, I’d like to take the opportunity to thank them all now for the care and attention they have showered me with. My Money is in the wet room, under the stack of Depend Protection Pants on the floor cabinet… first comes first, Gerrit! Hahaha!

On with the day’s photographicalisationings

Don’t recall why I took two of these?
But I took them, so I put them on.

Morning view.

Rotten photo of the rotten-tasting mug of tea.

Selected small Anya potatoes in the crock pot.

I forgot to ask the Carer to put the back on for me. Plonker!

Self-medicationings attended to.
Some painfully, so. Haha!

I did it again. Ordered Asda for the wrong day!
I was sure I’d ordered it for next Friday, too!
The fridge and freezer were well stocked. Tsk!
I put the pressies in a box and placed the pyjama bottom that I could no longer get into on top to disguise what was inside and stop anyone from spoiling the surprise.
Crafty!

Lightening up now.

Blogging away…
arrived. Bringing some prescription medications and a bag from the District Nurse’s clinic.

More ankle straps and leg strappings.

And a pair of ‘All-Purpose Boots’ for me.

These could be to replace the ankle straps?
But I couldn’t manage to get them on myself.
Too many Kelva and complicated fitting are needed.
Maybe this is about the Medico coming to see me?


Eerie early evening sky.
(Say that when you’ve had a few) Hehe!


Hog pork pie in the meal.

Just after sunset.


I forgot to ask him to put the on.

FARE THEE WELL!

INCHY: Thursday 17th August 2023

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The optimum words for describing today’s events:
Shambolic-Failures, Messy, Ignominious & Frustrating!
I can’t think of anything that went as planned?
The trip to town to get some Blepharitis Eye Gel, pads and Eye Spray, was futile! I got the timing of the bus wrong and waited for 36 minutes at the bus stop going. The Nottingham Citizenry in town, were as depressed as I’ve ever seen them. The pavement scooterers and cyclers seemed intent on making me as nervous as possible with the near misses from having my over. Boots, Wilko and even the Poundland shop visited in search of equivalent products failed! No anti-diarrhoea capsules, no Worcester Sauce nibbles, no affordable Germolene or Germoloid. Wilko must be closing down, the y didn’t have any kitchen towels in stock at all! The previously £3.25 Germolene at Boots, was now £6.29 for a 22g tube! It wore me out in B’s, trying see someone to help me with the confusing array of different products for the eyes – I gave up in the end!
On the bright side, I didn’t trip or fall getting onto or off the buses today. Coming home was a close call, mind.
No blogging as such done, so had to get up in the morning at 03:30hrs to get this updated.
Just time to whip in the photos with a few remembered details.
Utter Failure!
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A good start though…
Excellent coloured urine in the night pouch.

Into the kitchenette…
Tried to take a better morning view.

Took this shot of the flea-pit as I gathered the things needed for the trip later into Nottingham.

As Carer Kara say’s the new reading glasses will take some getting used to. She was right!

Had a few hours on the Wednesday blog updating. Eventually getting it finished and posted… but it was hard work with the new glasses and of course…
Gave up and continued with the
Just three . A semi-tumble in the shower, leading a hal-hearted head butting of the left grab bar.

Kara who called earlier did the midday visit, and I turned off the computer. I got the body medicationings done, and I consciously used less olive oil in the ears, Germoloid on the bum, and Germolene on the lesion and papules. My EQ told me I was not going to get any on the trip out. He was right, too!

SET OUT TO BUS STOP TO NOTTINGHAM
I met a resident and chatted with her on the forecourt. She pointed out that Carer Kara was giving me a wave from a high window in Winwood Court. ♥
Got to the bus stop and realised I had a time top wait.
The traffic island was in a bad state.
Looked like someone had pulled up some plants. Tyre marks on the once frass soil. Debris and waste dropped or blown on it.

When I got into the city centre, this is the first photo I took – and unfortunately the last. Despite my thinking I had taken several more, about ten I think of different area, for some reason, and I can’t figure out why, none of them were on SD card in the morning? The when I got back to the flat ones and later were though. A mystery as to what I’d done wrong?
I’ve mentioned the farcical shopping efforts, so will start with my return journey. The thought of my failing to so many things I wanted to, and not being sure if I had bought the right ones of those I did find in Boots, is embarrassing!

After my stubble from the bus (I didn’t go down!)
I made my way slowly to Woodthorpe Court.

Part of Winwood Court.
Paved walking area between courts.
Got inside and made my way up to the flat.
Feeling a little disheartened at the state of the shops, and thought to myself, “Well that was a waste of time!”

Got in the flat, having seen not a single person on my way.
More beautiful puffer clouds on the horizon again.
Something peaceful, relaxing about these?

Got the shoes off, they seem to have gelled to the feet. Hehe!
The pouch had soon filled up again after I emptied it when I got inside the apartment. Come think of it though, I had started guzzling the soda water again, the get the bladder going, as instructed by the medicos.

Aha, at the last of the day(2nd) mug of Glengettie tea!

I got the receipts out of the bag. Boy had I spent a fortune with all the massive price increases at Boots
This little lot for the eyes cost me £64!
I’m not sure that I bought the right Blepha either. This one had SOL on it, the other I’m using from the optician, has GEL?

The meal tasted Grrreat!
Flavour-Rating 9/10!

Much needed after what was for me, a hectic, getting upright and annoyed with things day! I think I must have looked a little mentally and physically battered, cause the care didn’t stay as long as usual… not that I can recall much of the visits.

I nodded off without any problems. Must have slept peacefully for about five hours of bliss… then… started, and knowing that this blog would need updating, I made an early start – and has only been down once up to now!
So I’m glad that I started early (03:30hrs )while the internet was behaving itself for once.
It still took me a lot of mistakes and self-confusion until nearly 12:00hrs to get it done though. Hey-Ho!

I’ll ask the morning caller if they might call the Doctors for me, to ask if I can get some Blepharitis gel for the eyes, And Rear-end medications for .

TTFNski, Each!

INCHIE TODAY: Friday 3rd March 2023

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At certain times today, I was with it -ish!
But not very often, really.
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The night bag this morning. 5-6 on colour patch.

Blimus! This is the day pouch an hour or so later.
Full and bloody – or bloody full. Hehehe!

Two more hours later, this!.

Carers table.

Bad photo of right foot.
But it is better than yesterday.

Evening shot of the sky.

Evening shot of the sky, slightly lower.

Down a bit more…

Down to the car park.

Now you may be wondering where all the details
and other photographs are?. So am I!
I remember having problems with the computer last night. Seriously disconcerting. It was so bad that I had to force close the computer and reboot it again. I think as this was done, It was Carer Jozef that arrived, and I moaned and groaned at my luck a little. Sorry, mate.
Worse was to come!
I’d lost six hours of CorelDraw work. The Ode, photographs, header cartoon graphics, and what was saved were virtually too hard to find, as they seemed to have been saved all over the hard and external storage… I was furious!
But defeated. I turned off the computer, hoping to sort it all out in the morning. Then took the evening shots above and got the stew made.

Well, not stew, more a can of soup, to which I added a mass of soy imitation bacon bits and a load of baked mini-cubes of potatoes.
Along with the traditional for me, tomato passata, liquid smoke, BBQ sauce and salt and vinegar.
Despite my so low mood, I enjoyed it.
Flavour Rating: 7.8/10.

Worran ‘orrible day!

INCHIE TODAY: Friday 24th February 2023

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HOW LONG CAN THESE HORRID DAYS GO ON?

I woke at about 06:00hrs. The pains in the sole of the right foot were agonising. I tried to stand up, but the pain was so tender I had to sit down again. After a minute or two of ponderisationing, I decided to press the Wristlet Alarm. For I could not even get back up on my feet, let alone get to the Porcelain Throne (I don’t think I need to tell you what happened, very embarrassing indeed!) or unlock the front door.
I was having great difficulty hearing what the nice lady in Nottingham City Homes Control on the monitor was saying. This was hurting more than Mystery Rib Pains Petunia, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley, or even Catheter Kathleen’s tune had been! It was only about, last a guess, 20 minutes before the Paramedics arrived, and the pains were already reduced to a level-5 rating as they arrived. But walking, or rather hobbling, took me a little longer to tackle. There were three of them, one I think might have been a trainee.

They did the usual ECG Temp etc. But could not even guess what was causing the pain in the foot. The lady had a close look underfoot, declaring that she could see nothing that might be causing the pains? However, they put a pad around the foot that should ease the pressure of standing up.
I just had to go to the Porcelain Throne, which I painfully did.
The pad fell off on my way back to the room.

They asked many questions, many of which I could not answer. The Carer not turning up for the medicationalisationings concerned them. I said they had probably had someone not turn in for work. And they were only about an hour late. Pressure on those at work today, methinks. They came an hour or so later; not their fault, no blame attached.

I told him about the Brain Scan due today and the lack of transport to get there. He assured me that the NHS transport would collect me. The man in charge, wrote a note for the carer to ring the number he’d circled on the QMC letter to ask for a lift for me. During their attendance, one asked me if I usually speak the wrong words. I said others had mentioned it, but I was not aware, pointing out that Dementia Doreen is to blame.

I remember ringing Meridian, but I could not hear properly. I went into a Mind-Blank-Mode for a while. A Carer arrived, Adele, I think. She medicated me. Then, I tried to get the blog for yesterday done…

I seemed in and out all day, mentally. Finally, at about 23:00hrs, the pain in the right foot became bearable… what the heck is it?
Carer Jozef and Carole Anne called. No idea if any others did. The pan had left me terribly confused… which, of course, I always am. But this was more acute in handicapping me.
The day flew by all the same. I’ll get the photos from the camera now and see if any memories ate prompted. I think they will be in order… Huh!

The day is now a blur to me. (Saturday A.M.)
The level of pain from the Mystery-Underfoot-Pain varied throughout the day, I think. From bad to chronic, Tsk! Yet some bits I recall in detail, others not at all, or vaguely. Then again, maybe I just think I remember? But do I? I sense I was laughing and joking with some Carers? But was I?
I’ve had a painful lump or bruise on my neck this morning. Mayhap, I had a tumble or walked into something. But did I?
I’ll get the photographs from the SD card and see if they help. I can recall the sunset being stronger… I think. I’ll get them loaded and onto CorelDraw to sort out and post here.
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Woke in agony with the right foot underfoot pains.
Pressed the wristlet alarm when I realised it was too painful to stand up, let alone hobble around. Controller called the paramedics. Three arrived. (See above, please) Man left a note for Carers in their log book. Asking them to ring the QMC to try to book a lift to the Brain Scan job.
The District Nurse, or the Warfarin DVT nurse, or both (I think) arrived. O~ne rang the QMC for me, but I could not get through. She rang their main switchboard, and they tried but could not get through, (Leave a message each time). The lady will ring back as soon as she knows.
She did ring back. No lift was available, so she cancelled the appointment and rearranged it for March.
I got through to Easy-Link, and the kind lady accepted the booking for Wednesday, 15th March, at 13:15hrs for the brain scan. Bless her!
I was not in a good state, panic-wise and mentally, by then.
I thought it would be a good idea to let the Carers know that I am not going out this morning. So they do not get confused like what I am. Haha!
As I dialled Meridian, I suffered a Stuttering Stephanie Attack, and Dizzy Dennis joined in. I must have been waffling on intelligibly cause I was told I was talking rubbish. Which I naturally assumed I was, no doubt about that. I apologised and rang off.
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Feet-Leg

Paramedics notes
View from the computer chair
Hear perfect Urine Colour.

Getting late…
Possible sunset brewing?
Not made it, but beautiful all the same!
Loved this one…

Nightie-night!

Has urine stopped flowing?

Totally Crap Meal Made!
Chips tasteless…
Marmite Cobs stale…
Frankfurter Sausage was tasteless…
Strawberry dessert, horribly over-sweet!
Tomatoes were bitter!
Flavour-Rating 2.2/10

Evening all!