Inchcock Today: Wednesday 21st September 2022

WEDNESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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03:40hrs: Another shooting awake, the arms jounced, and slowly the brain woke up as well. The only thing it was interested in was my hastening to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did!
No injuries or Accifauxpas en route; I got settled in the regulation position, and the evacuation began. I should think it was 80% putrid air and 20% of watery kaki-coloured liquid, with a few bloblets of the expected stuff mixed in.
Not too messy it didn’t spurt out. No bleeding.
Again, I thought, well, I’m in here now; I’ll get the ablutions tended to. most another bit of the left back double molar again… I don’t know how it hasn’t all gone by now; the number of times I lose a chunk of it?
I took extra care with the shaving this time. A couple of tin nicks, no bother.
Ah, there were some difficulties here. The Germoloiding of Harrolds Haemorrhoids went perfectly smoothly, with minimum pain of any sort. Then, the Phorpain gelling was more or less in the same style. Then, for some reason, the applicationing of the
Daktacort can only be described as horrendously painful. I stopped as soon as I felt that much pain in such a delicate area. And went to fetch the magnifying glass to see if I could find a use-by date in the tube or box. Nope, couldn’t see one anyway. I went to the medical drawer in the kitchenette and ferreted about for another tube. None left! I must ask Richard or Deana to order some for me.
A smothering of Germolene in place was tried. Totally-ineffective. I dare not use what bit of Daktacort that was left in the tube, so threw it away.
Then, the Danger of the Day, so far, had to be faced. 

Of course, I wasn’t worried at all; a heroic man with so many ailments is not going to let a plastic-coated finger-crunching, blood-letting thing like metal Sock Glide intimidate me. Well, more than suspected!
I got through it and got the socks on. A plaster on the trapped bleeding finger was all I needed this time. Freshened up my wobbly short-overweight body with antiperspirant spray and aftershave. Got dressed and tackled the next job, the .
Back down again! SYS 137. DIA 72, Pulse 78 bpm, and body temperature a good return at 34.3°f.
Back in the High-Norm amber area. I suppose a being shown is okay?
The second lowest rating I’ve ever recorded! Now I shall be looking to get in the green soon… Hehehe!

Was banging about above early again, around 06:00hrs. He must be making things for Christmas pressies early, mayhaps? Come think of it, I reckon he was noisy late at night and early mornings this time last year? I may be wrong, of course. ♫ It’s not unusual for Inchcock to be wrong… ♫

I got the computer on, and many comments on my blogs were received. It was from Bill, so I answered him. Off to make a mug of Thompson’s Punjana, and I took this morning shot of the view from the kitchen window. Not exactly awe-inspiring, is it?

I went back to the computer and checked the Emails.

Morrison and J Sainsbury’s had set a list of their substitutions and not available goods in today’s orders to be delivered.
Not good, is it? Still, I can give away the Tikka substitute; Deana might like them. The tomatoes should be okay. It’s funny how they always send dearer than the original substitutions.
JS had done even worse than Morrisons; that takes some doing. Same thing, dearer substitutes.
But they failed to tell me that the cheaper chilli cans I’d ordered were going to be substituted with a lot dearer ones! Humph! Anyway, I started to get things stored away. The Imperfect Tasty Strawberries were one for Deana and one for Francis, who I hope she’s back from the hospital by now and feeling better. I’ll ask Deana later.
Ah, my treats to myself here! Vegetarian shepherd’s pie, roast potatoes, veggie pasta, and sliced potatoes (well, it cuts back on chopped fingers!). Seasoned fresh cut chips as well… Oh, and a new one to me, Silky Butternut Squash Risotto; no idea what it will taste like, but without trying it, I’ll never know. Did you see that? Words of Wisdom… from me! Hehehe! Beefburgers and pot noodles for Carer Richard. Some individually portioned sticky rice pots and substituted No Chicken Tikka Masala with rice. I tried the one I ordered cause I knew I was okay with sweet & sour sauce. But I’ve tried Tikka before and did not like it. Are J Sainsbury staff told to select lousy substitutions on purpose? Is not sweet & Sour Chinese? And Tikka Indian?

At least they didn’t send me a pot of brown shoe polish this time. I’m not joking; I ordered potato cakes once and got a shoe polish pad!
Still, the owner has just lost a family member, the Queen. So, say no more. At least Morrison’s managed to deliver my favourite ready meal of all time. Roast Vegetable Risotto. It’s cracking tasty! I always put just a drop of BBQ sauce with it. And the packet of mushroom risotto I had yesterday, I think it was, was grand.
This is a loaf got the Wardens, cause it keeps fresher longer… someone told me.
I got some brown cobs for me from Lord Sainsbury: J Sainsbury plc is the parent company of Sainsbury’s Supermarkets Ltd, the third largest chain of supermarkets in the UK, with a 16.4% share of the market.
As of 2021, the largest overall shareholder is the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar Royal Family Investment Authority, which holds 14.99% of the company. It is listed on the London Stock Exchange and is a constituent of the FTSE 100 Index. The chain’s annual report shows that chief executive Simon Roberts picked up £2.8 million in bonuses for the year to March 5, on top of his £878,000 a year salary and other benefits. His mammoth pay deal includes a £1.7 million annual bonus and £1.1 million in long-term incentive scheme shares. Shame no one there knows the difference between a Chinese meal and an Indian one. Just thought I’d mention it! Not that I have anything against the Indians, they have my greatest respect and admiration. It’s just that their food does not sit well with me. Where was I?

Oh, yes… These were some of the giveaway items. I bought a few trays of fluffy rice. I just thought Deana might like one to try. Hope she likes Tikka.
She did call later after I’d got everything put away… Ah, something else I forgot to mention… A pack of six 1 litre Spring Water was delivered today; luckily, it was the first thing I moved into the kitchen from the blocked by food doorway. I felt the leaking water running down my leg onto the carpet; I then dropped the bottles when I got into the kitchen. What a mess I got into, and cleaning it up was no fun!
I lost the plot there… Sorry.
I put the flowers on the trolley, ready for when Deana or Julie, or both, came to see me about the lift for Friday.
Richard told me Deana would be calling today to see me. Which she did.

She told me she’s arranged for the lift on Friday to be for 10:00hrs So, hopefully, I can get to the B&M store to get some of the canned drinks that the Carers took to. I got some last week… no, a fortnight ago. But they all went first, but  I just cannot remember what they were called. When I see the cans, I’ll know, He says… Hehehe!
Onto the computer to make a start on this blog at long last.

♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ Hello, who’s that? It was Esther, after her six-week break visiting her family in South Africa for two weeks, that turned out to for four more. Can’t blame her! She’s calling tomorrow to do the laundry. She asked for a pen so she could write a note to another customer and post it through his door – I made sure I got the pen back this time! Hehe! 

I believe the sudden fatigue is coming back again now. 14:00hrs?
I’ll get a vegetable risotto in the microwave and add one bay-sized fluffy rice after three minutes, so they are ready at the same time. A drop of BBQ sauce will be added after cooking. This week I shall try harder to avoid any burnt fingers or dropped items when struggling to get the lid off of the trays.
The foods were both nearly ready. I made up a pot of Idaho instant mash with bubble & squeak, adding some extra-strong grated cheese and a quirt of my made-up to the bottle of liquid salt & distilled vinegar to the pot. Added a mini-pot of lemon mousse to the tray and got into the recliner to feast!


I had a cough and thought I saw some specs of blood in the tissue, well, the paper towel I used.
The meal was cooling as I checked the nose and mouth. Nowt to fret over, but puzzlingly all the ulcers in the gums seem to have erupted at the same time. I didn’t realise I’d got so many pustules in the gums. As for why this happened, I remain, as ever nowadays, confused.
Finally, I began the feast, ’cause that’s what it was, and even though I’ll let it cool more than I meant to, it was delicious! A Taste-Rating of 9.3/10!

I put the tray on the Carers desk next to the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner. And drifted of with a satisfied stomach into a wonderful – but short-lived, dream-filled sleep.
♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chimed out and brought me rudely to a state of semi-wakefulness. Blow it; I can’t remember her name now. Humph! She apologised for being late and mentioned how rushed she was. She soon got the medications sorted; and, with what seemed a reluctance, ask if there was anything else. There was, but she seemed so pressed I didn’t mention anything. A nice gal, I told her to pick a treat on her way out.
I think I was about to nod off again when I remembered I’d not locked the door. So, I locked it


Turning back from locking the door, I thought I’d have a look through the spy hole – which proved near fatal. Hehe! I twisted my back as I turned again, setting off poor and, at almost the same time, stubbed my toe on the three-wheel walker guide wheel… but I’d not finished yet. Oh, no!
Cursing my bad luck under my breath, and went into the wet room for a wee-wee and apply some Phorpain gel to Shirley. And walked into the doorframe, hit the shoulder, stopped, and automatically pee’d in my PPs, and I felt like crying. But I resisted it, after all being the heroic, stoic, brave, strong young man that I am…
At least Bladder-Belinda’s sudden leak came when I was in the wet room.
I evacuated the remaining few drops of urine from Bladder-Belinda. Stripped off and had a good clean-up. Germoloided Harold’s Haemorrhoids,
And got the crap, not very effective  MedPhorpainPhorpain gel, rubbed into my back as best that I could get at. Surprisingly, the toe stinging started to ease off?
Got some fresh PPs on, the Depend brand that had coped admirably well with Bladder-Belinda’s earlier escaping mini-torrent. was left until last. Because the shoulder charge on the wet room doorframe had set her off shuddering away, but now she had calmed down.
It took me so long to sort things out that by the time I was leaving the wet room, the and , were of little bother now.
Of course, now I had to rely on to get me through the doorway without any . Easy-peasy! I think that when I go going into the room and the light blaring at my eyes is why there are more walk-intos than when leaving the wet room?

A momentary Sherlock Holmesian conclusion there?Haha!

I got settled into the c1968 recliner seat…
Tired out, with Thought STorms to compete,
My mood was just a tad downbeat,
Thought of the Risotto… that was a treat!
Cramps now, in the fingers, legs and feet!
I must be getting closer to the scrapheap,
Losing my battle for peace and sleep…
My life seems full of things grossièreté!
Don’t know when, but I got nodded off alreet…
Dreamt I was on holiday; it looked like Crete?
2:55hrs, I sprang wide awake. Did I oversleep?
Asleep only five minutes, I could weep!

MORNING ALL!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 11th August 2022. Diary & Odes

I can’t understand why my Odes have not yet made me famous in the rhyme and poet-master circles. All that effort, too!

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0605hrs: I rose with thanks for being allowed to get in five hours of undisturbed time with Sweet Morpheus. Passing wind belched and detached my weight-ladened stomached body from the c198 recliner, and off to the wet room, and the . Where I passed the first half-hour of waking. Trotsky Terence had been beaten into submission by Constipation Konrad.
Oh, the agony! I couldn’t even try to do the crossword this morning. (It can take one’s mind off of the suffering sometimes, but not today). Things eventually started moving… a little, then stopped! I counted the crack in the ceiling plaster… same as last time, 36. Now there’s a thought; How can not remember so many things but am almost certain I could remember a silly, pointless detail like that? Back to the pain coping… I had visions of the bloody mess I was going to find when… or if the evacuation is ever completed.
I started talking to the evacuation product (I know, daft as a brush!). My faith was failing. Then I started wot think of the most ridiculous things, like, why have I never been interested in lepidoptery? Who’d have believed I’d end up with Doreen Dementia? Me! The calm one, the organizer, the carer…
The torpedo started coming out, and it was beyond my powers to slow or stop[ it. The pain grew worse and fortuitously. so did the escapage rate, and the last three-quarters of the turd almost flew out with a sickening thud as it landed, blocking the porcelain! 
Ah, blessed relief! I thought it would never free itself. Now to check on any damage done in the procedure!
. After all, that grinding pain and the gigantic, gargantuan torpedo having been slowly, oh so slowly, forced through and out, Harold’s Haemorrhoids had barely been bleeding! A few thin streaks of the old haemoglobin on the toilet paper, that was all. There was even little stinging pain, either! How come? All a part of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me! I suppose!

I got the take, with confidence from somewhere, that the results would not be anywhere as near as scary as yesterday mornings. I just knew not to worry. My EQ, telling me?)
Fair enough, it was still high, but if I remember rightly, it was 36 points less than Tuesdays was.
The body temperature once again was as near to spot on that you wouldn’t notice the difference!

I lost a couple of hours of the morning altogether. I had been doing something as I found later I’d written things on the remember-pad, but it’s in double-Dutch! And the kettle was hot when I went in the kitchen, but I’d not made any tea? Thankfully, these Mind-Blanks don’t happen very often. But they do concern me and are on the list to ask the Doctor about. But can I get someone to call the surgery for me? No! The trouble is, I forget all about it minutes later, until the next instance.

Arrived in a bit of a rush, but he never rushes me, bless him. But it meant quick talking and my missing some comments. But the lad had had a word with Deana about the paperwork he took with him to study and left it with Deana. No point in me keeping it; I can’t read it. He said that Deana will try to call on me later. This is out of sequence, as many other comments will be, no doubt/ I got very Confusion Konrad this afternoon and evening. Deana called later to confirm the booking for the lift with Easy Link. 10:30hr pick-up, to be outside to be collected. Later on, a nice-sounding lady land-lined me to confirm as well. That was nice! ♥

The steam-train building Herbert from the flat above was in fine form all day. No long periods of disruption, I must say. Just the regular clumps and banging, metallic sounds intermingled with some mini-concertos of a tap-tapping nature. Oh, and a cappella: Without orchestral accompaniment.

I just came across this writing on the notepad from hours ago. Any help would be appreciated as to what the heck it was I was recording; thank you. The dashes are undecipherable words: “Delug— 90% temp —– — —- — hoen –stly, —- forced sa–ey. Temp—— 94!” I may find time to have another go at making something out of it. Tsk!

  Now, for the cock-up of the day! If they gave out medals for Mind-Blanks, Forgetting and Insanity, I’d be in line for a gold medal after this incident.
The intercom rang forth: Someone telling me that they had a delivery for me.
❶ But the release button, yet again, did not work to admit the chap. I tried a few times, then said I’ll come down to you.
I had to get some trousers and shoes on, checked the intercom and could see the man still there, and rushed a little too much, and clouted Shuddering-Should-Shirley on the door frame! Agony again!
❸ Got down to the foyer, but no signs of anyone there.
❹ I assumed he had gotten on while I was faffing about to get down to him… Rushing again, I got the walking stick entangled in the lift elevator door. I now have a split-handled wooden walking stick.
❺ Got up to find the man looking around and bags near the flat door.
The man departed, and I started to get the bags into the kitchen. Then it dawned on me when I saw the Co-op label on some foods – I don’t recall making a Co-op order at all. I’ve just had a Morrison one yesterday. And, a few days before that, an Iceland one? Mayhap I did this during my Mind Blank hours?
Well, it had all the things that I might have ordered on the order. I must have made it, stupidly, cause there was not a thing I didn’t already have in stock on this delivery!
I’d even bought some bonkers-costly Mushroom Risotto.
More flipping chips and potatoes, too! I’d even got some more bottles of spring and tonic water!

Just as I was calming down after giving myself a verbal blasting for being so stupid… the intercom burst into like again.
It was another delivery, Amazon. And the Doctor thinks I do not have Dementia ‘properly’? I hope she gets it right when I snuff it, and she has to decide if I’m properly dead or not! Hehehe!
Depression came over me.
The chap had delivered the Lemon Sherbets disinfectants.
No problem with this one. I remember ordering these. I think! No, I did, definitely. Positively. Oh, dearie me!.

The temperature outside reached 92°f.
I gathered together all of the paperwork and reminder notes and what leaflets and letters had come in over the last few days, with the intention of perusing them to see which needed any assistance to read and understand.
.Which didn’t take me long to work out. Cause Cataract Cathy and Dementia Doreen made sure all of them needed some help. Some needed telephone calls; well, Deafness Duncan takes care of that.

Kicked off again. Tap-tapping, morse-code like this time. The stuck-up, toffee-nosed, self-important gentleman varied it for a minute or two; he decorated the tune with some clung-thuds. Kind of him. Ah, tap-tapping is back now.

Getting late now. Aha, ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ just sounded. It was evening who’d arrived. He seemed a smidgeon low to me. I might be wrong. I tried the jokes, my world-famous and light-hearted approach, but I couldn’t get a smile. So I offered the lad a bottle of shandy from the fridge. I had to make do with a half-hearted imitation smile. But that’ll do for me, I thang-you!

I’d like to know what’s making those noises above. They almost sound like he’s sat up there with a stick to keep tapping on the floor? I hope he’s not poorly.

Better get the ablutions done. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I fear leaving it until morning again, with the transport also coming as mercifully, the top man, Nathanial, has told me he will stay behind to talk me through what I missed on the first course. Jolly decent of him, too!
State of the feet before getting the ablutions done here on the left. Off belatedly, to the wet room.
Three days of growth of the beard took some shifting. Only a few nicks. The teeth were painful to clean. Showering went okay, no knocks, falls, or Dizzy Dennis visits. Many many dropsies, mind you. Turned off the shower and dried off.
Yes, well… all were hurtful, to say the least. Germolene, Germoloid, and the worst of the lot… Little Inchies fungal lesion ointmentating! Arthur Itis and Cartilage Kathy were treated to some Phorpain rub.

I took an after-shower shot (Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehehe!) of the pins and plates.
Looking like they had been polished with Brasso or something of that ilk. Haha!

I settled in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously, grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable of, not working, recliner. Put on a Dr Who DVD and was soon sleeping away like a baby – I wee’d myself overnight!

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Inchcock Today: Wednesday 10th August 2022 Ode to Doreen: Part 21.3⅚th

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I stayed up for a total of 29hrs; Gawd knows when I can finally get my head down again. CorelDraw mishaps, the main reason, and my stupidity in handling it. Today, CorelDraw has improved. But I still can’t get caught up with the blogging.
I did get yesterday’s finished; this afternoon. And am now making a start on this one at18:15hrs! So, note mong night in the offing! So this diary will be a bit shorter. Methinks I’ll never gerrit dun if not. Sorreh! Did you see that? I reverted to my early years Meadows upbringing slang! Hehehe!
The legs, ankles and feet were not looking so good, yet they were lass painfully than yesterday. One heck of shock after doing the sphygmomanometerisationing!
Glagnangles! The SYS was 186, DIA 63, & pulse 74. Blimey! The body temperature was great, though! Went on the NHS analysis site; interested in what they would comment on this figure.
I wonder if there will be anyone at the Riverside Health Centre on Friday who I can inveigle into doing a check for me on their machine? Well, you never know yer luck… No, hang on, it’s me we’re talking about, innit? Okay, forget it!
Arrived while I was making a mug of tea, my first one for 18 hours! Oh, I am good!
I told Richard about the eight pages of instructions from the C4N transport. The only bit I could read of the eight two-sided A4 paper and leaflet was what it is going to cost me. Very confusing it was. Richard had a quick look; he didn’t have much time, he’s got another client to see. Five minutes later, he said, “I can’t understand it either, Gerry! a right load of confusing waffle!” He kindly stuffed the paperwork into his bag of treats, telling me he’d have a look later on, and let me know if sorts owt out, in the morning. Bless his Cotton Socks!

The Morrison order arrived via the Amazon shopperess. I got the packages in the kitchenette.
I went for a wee-wee and returned to find liquid had been flowing from one of the bags, covering the kitchen floor. I’m not having a lot of luck these last two days, am I? A bottle of Tonic Water caps came off, and a litre of Tonic Water with a hint of lime had soaked through two of the other bags, and I had a right job sorting it out.
Got flowers put in the cool hallway for the warden’s treats.
Then made a start on sorting out the product delivered. kicked off.
Just as I was moving the things in this photo, as I was picking up the pin sprays… the top of one of the bottles shot off; at least I smell nice now, too nice for my comfort.

But dare not go put in these clothes with that sweet smell all over my torso and trousers. Tsk! I ordered a packet of vegan sausages and got a cheapo-ready meal of two sausages & mash in gravy. The limit on you could buy of Mash World chips (fries) as one packet!
The oven-baked fries were so unfrozen I felt the chips breaking up.
As I said earlier, I’m not doing very well lately. Humph!
Tried to phone Warden Deana, then Warden Julie, but both calls were diverted, so they must be up to the neck in it!

Got the fridge and freezer filled up. Tried to phone Warden Deana, then Warden Julie, but both calls were diverted, so they must be up to the neck in it!

Many Mind-Blanks now; I’m feeling right weary. The cataract eyes are making it even worse to see and concentrate. was so persistent today, and Reflux Valve Roger was having great fun with me.
Tried to phone Warden Deana, then Warden Julie, to get help with the transport letter reading and ask them if they could phone the Doctors for me. (Anne Gyna and Reflux Valve Roger), but both calls were diverted, so they must be up to the neck in it!
Deana rang back, and oddly enough, she said she was up to the neck in it today! I told her of the flowers and Strawberries, and if the DVT nurse came early and the Amazon nuts arrived in time, I’d nip them to the office for her.

Deana told me she arranged the transport for Friday’s Riverside Diabetes meeting. She needed the appointment list to arrange the others. Her voice told me she was up to the neck in it. She said she’s pop up later to pick things up. But never made it, up to the neck with it, you see.
Evening arrived as I was getting my din-dins out of the oven. A gorgeous but ridiculously costly roast Vegetable Risotto. I forgot to take a photo of it. Gave Valerie the strawberries and flowers. She was tickled pink. Haha!

I ate the risotto meal and, for a laugh, took a selfie of eating the last succulent forkful! There was not enough of it to get me. But £4 for a piddling meal is a bit much, thanks to Morrison’s, for the leaking tonic water. The crushed to bits cheese biscuits and squashed swiss rolls, too!

I cleared away the food things and took this snap of the view of the just missed sunsetting.
A quick wash, no shower or shave yet again today!
I must make sure tomorrow that I can get a mega-ablutioning session in. Not as easy as it sounds nowadays. Everything is taking so much longer to get done, thanks to the ailments and dementia-Doreen!

I put on a Dr Who DVD, and I was, not surprisingly soon, off into the land of nod. Where I stayed for nearly six hours of bliss!
Are things taking a turn for the better here?

Go forth and have a fiesta,
Fundamentally, fun!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 4th August 2022

Starting with this Humorous Ode
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Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Last night I slept early, getting up around 12:40hrs, and got on with the day’s work. I’m nothing if dedicated.
After yesterday’s three false alarms, I was unsure of having a successful mission. However, the evacuation flowed in contact with the plastic throneand kept coming; at one stage, I thought my body might float into the air. Hehe! I’d passed that much. And comfortably, pain-free without any bleeding! A total reversal, I suspect that the different veggie burgers I had for dinner may have played a part in this scenario.

This photo I took of the plates and pins and forgot to put on yesterday’s blog. It could happen to anyone, Ahem! Don’t they look good? This and the excellent BP lately are worrying; I’m not used to this.

I had a wash and sorted out the waste bins. Got a cold drink from the fridge, finished yesterday’s blog, and posted it off to WordPress.

I made up the dry-humoured Ode to use and spent hours trying to sort out whatever I’d done wrong on Corel Draw, which lost me so many options. At one time, I gave up, turned it off, and got out the sphygmomanometer. 
Yet another great set of figures this morning. And I was only just inside the red zone. Amazes me how the BP has been so good this last month.
I tried CorelDraw again, and I lost the saved template. More time lost, searching without much hope… But, I found, retitled it to the original name, and all was well again. I thought

I’ve got a Morrison via Amazon order coming later shortly now. But will Carer Richard come late enough so he can have his Mushroom Pete treat? Will the delivery come in time? – Will they have any in stock? – Will they send crap substitutes? Can I freeze a fresh mushroom pate for Richard to have the following Monday? Did I remember to order some? What day is it?…

The wee-wees have eased off. The rear-end found new life. My legs, ankle ulcer and feet are looking virtually perfect. No Harold Haemorrhoid or Fungal Lesion bleeding. No stubbed toe, walking into anything, & no battle with Sock-Glide-Glenda (I didn’t put any socks on). 

Arrived when and we were both a little down, I think. What bit of chinwagging we got was not the most cheerful. And Richard broke his own record for the fastest visit today. He was soon off in haste, but still the pleasant chap he is.

I turned off the computer to ensure that when the Morrison Amazon delivery arrived, I could be in the kitchen with the door open and hear when the weak, timid, pathetic chime from the intercom was heard. When the intercom chimed out, I was taking the opportunity to titivate the mess on the draining board.
A beautiful young lady came to the door and handed me each bag I put in the hallway. She already had my address, Hehe! Took my date of birth.
I thanked her and set about taking each bag through to the kitchenette. Poor old thing! I know I’m getting old, senile and past it. It shook me that I needed a few minutes to rest after taking the bags through the hallway.
The frozen item was the Meatless Farm Burgers, as well; there’s not much free room in the freezer.
Got what might be the last of pod peas, they are near the end of the season now, and it shows.
The fridge, on the other hand (not that I actually had a fridge on the other hand), had a lot of fodder that had to be jungled and jiggled to make room to get the stuff in there. These included some Strawberries, one for the Wardens, and Carer Valerie’s weekly treat.
Bananas, and my favourite veg seasoning, Oxo. These cubes have a fantastic flavour with them. I got some rice in, as it has already shot up in price, and a lady on the TV last night said to expect a lot more increases.
I put the warden’s weekly flower treat in the hallway; it’s cooler in there and rang to say they could be collected anytime. And if the DVT nurse comes early, I’ll bring them down to the office for them.

I must remember to ask Deana if the lift for the Diabetes session is sorted cause with Nathanial staying late to go over my missed meeting course, I will not know when I will be leaving. So will have to get a tram to Nottingham, a bus to Sherwood, and another bus up to the flats on that Friday. Fingers crossed that the ailments give me a break, which they are doing now… but they’ll be back! Haha!

Minutes after typing the above, the wet warm glow started in the lower regions. Why did I have to open my mouth? At least today, I can patch things up with the invaluable help of the shower before medicating. I always dread this happening when I’m out and about. Pure luck that it doesn’t happen too often… come to think of it, I’m not out usually anyway.

I’ll turn everything off computer-wise now and get the ablutionalisationing done and medicating certain areas in need. Back in a while…

“Lambasting-to-Self: Oh, No, you great fool, the DVT nurse and Deana are coming, aren’t they, dumbo!… I wish you’d get it together… Idiot! You know you can’t hear the telephone, intercom or even the door chime when you’re in the shower… Pillock!”
Dementia Doreen dashes your plans! Did you see that? The vaguest iota of contentment or thought that things might about to be going well, and what happens?

11:10hrs: Checked the tracker on Amazon; 3 stops away; I’d nearly forgotten about this delivery coming as well! Tsk! All that hassle getting the shower repaired, and now I still can’t get a shower! Or much sleep, either.

Took these photographicalisations of magnificent puffer clouds on display. A tremendous deep shade of blue?

11:39hrs: Checked the tracker on Amazon; Still 3 stops away.

Got some chips in the oven, chip sarnies for a snack? Cooked it, took a photo of it (and it didn’t get on the SD card?), ate it (the chip sarnies), and fell asleep.

Zzz!
Amazon Red Leicester delivery arrived. I put them away.
Zzz!
Esther called to see how things were, off on holiday. Wished her all the bestest.
Zzz!
Wardens Dean and Julie arrived. To do the yearly fact updates, we did them, and I mentioned the lift to the Diabetes at Bulwell. The leading man, Nathanial, is staying behind on this session to help me catch up with the one I missed, thanks to Meridian Care lot not letting me know they had failed to arrange a lift for me after saying to me; “We’re sorting it, no need to worry!” Deana phoned the transport people and arranged for a ride for the Friday 12th, 2nd session. I had to join something, and Deana sorted it all for me on the phone. Lovely, ♥! Deana also gave a note with the relevant numbers on it… But can I find it? NO! But I did remember to provide them with their weekly treats, flowers, and strawberries. Searched for hours for the note… maybe she didn’t give me one, or… I’m getting muddled again. I emailed her the list of the meetings and mentioned the mystery note… I am a fool!
Zzz!
. Arrived, I was well deep into sleep again, a rude awakening. Haha! Got the medications sorted out for me. Treated to a choice of plonk/nibbles. Off he went, not taking the waste bags to the chute. Cause I didn’t remind him. However, I had all the waste made from the other deliveries to sort, so I got on with them and took them all to the waste chute.

Cathleen’s Cartilage was playing up after I twisted the knee getting into the chute room. Pain level, only 4/10. Easily bearable.

Onto the computer and sent the list of sessions to Warden Deana. Updated this blog up to here. Then started the template for Fridays.

I nipped into the wet room to check that the shower was not leaking again, and…
Gave myself a good toe stubbing against the dreaded, fearsome Sock-Glide-Glenda. Catching the ankle ulcer at the same time. When I took this photo, later on, the end of the toes of the affected foot was white, and the rest of the foot was glowing red; the leg above was ghostly white?

Just another of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. I just laughed it off, of course.

I got this blog finished. I’ll post it in the morning.

It’s been a busy day. But getting help from Deana, and Ethel checking on how I was going, meant so much to me. Bless ’em! ♥

Inchcock’s Monday Photographs

Iceland delivery

Morrison delivery

Sorry that this is so scrappy and crappy a blog.

Vascular Dementia Doreen really got me yesterday. I got in a pickle trying to sort out whether or not I’d post these, or not. At the same time, I was trying to get the obstreperous Card Reader to accept newer photos… a delivery came.

While putting the food away, another delivery arrived. I was struggling to keep it together cause I was sure the Iceland delivery was for Friday, not Monday… No doubt my fault,  error yet again, which doesn’t help my confidence one iota!

The kitchen was like Steptoe & Son’s was on the telly. Food was all around to be collated. Next, the INR Nurse arrived…

Not that I had any problems with the compassionate, beautiful, sweet-natured Hristina coming to deal with me. In fact, it was the only, I think, in the whole day that I was free of depression and frustrations – Gawd, I love her! (Also Jillie, Obergruppenfürheress Warden Deana, Carers Julie, Cheeky Charley, Sarah, Elena… Ah, so many!) Hristina always lifts me in spirit.

Leg check.

Herbert was not so bad during today, although there were a few mechanical concertos and some clangy Abbellimenti.

I’d ordered some Cathedral City cheese, red onion and focaccia baps on special offer… sorry I bothered now!

Luckily, the mushroom pate tasted great, and I filled both baps up with it! New potatoes, yellow and red halved tomatoes, and some ready roasted crispy onion bits (which went down well!). A pot of jelly & custard to round it off. I didn’t eat all of the focaccia baps, but I removed and ate all of the pates.

Took the things through to wash them up and copped for an Involuntary right leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance… The tray went to the floor, which is better than my doing so.

Crap! I spent around an hour cleaning things up. I had no choice but to keep bending down cause the small onions and breadcrumbs I couldn’t see and the picker-upper was no use. Getting back up on my feet took a while in itself. Then getting the mop and bucket out of the wet room and mopped the floor. Let it dry first, took the equipment to the throne room, then went back in and cleaned the pots, tray etc., and then myself.

The evening carer arrived. Dour is how I felt cause the backache had been brought on by all the bending. Medications taken. I took an extra Codeine after the Carer left with the waste bags. I only take extra if needed, but it was that night.

Took a late evening sunrise shot. No you fool! Sunset.

Got into the £300 second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-covered tatty recliner. I reckon that I must have dropped off for a few moments, then shot awake again, at least 20 times!

Gone midnight, I put the TV on, hoping it would help me sleep deeper. It sometimes does… but no. The rest of the night’s sleep was interrupted so many times!

Grangleknackles!

Inchcock Today: Diary, Dream, Esccape & Ode

Thursday 19th May 2022

Woke at 04:20, and I rose from the recliner at 05:00hrs. Why the time gap? Cause I was getting memories of a dream I’d had written on the memory pad to put on here. Wee-wee, and onto the computer.

THE DREAM…

Everyone in the flats got a text message; no more new tenants were allowed in the apartments. In five years, whoever is left will be transferred into wooden bungalows on the grounds of the City Hospital. I was looking forward to living long enough and moving.

The social room at Winwood Court was converted into a pool room with about twelve tables. We all had to compete, and those with the highest scores would get the first choice of wooden cabins to move into. I was told by a Nottingham City Homes manager, “So? I pointed out that I was colour-blind and had cataracts, glaucoma, and saccades. Roger’s only got one hand, and Ethel is as blind as a bat… anyone considered not social enough will be sent to live in the Salvation Army Hostel. So let’s see some willingness and effort!” I apologised.

Blurry memories then, involving a ski slope, toolboxes, and a day trip out on buses for all of us to Skegness. Ethel and I caught the train home after leaving us behind.

On the day of the move, we all set off walking the mile and a bit with guards and Carers. We advanced in single file and long line, all with suitcases, wheelies, etc. Most of us got lost on the City Grounds. Well, I did. Then after finding the others, I was sent to a Bed & Breakfast place in Newcastle. They booked me a train for midnight.

I was sleeping in a corridor, and someone woke me. Somehow or other, I was in the final of the pool competition, and I didn’t win a single game in the qualifying stages? I don’t recall playing this match at all?

Suddenly, many of us were walking back out of the City Hospital grounds, same again, guards, staff, single file. We walked through a Council House Estate, but I had no idea where we were going and why. But I ended up in a coal cellar… Then shot awake!

I went to make a brew of JS Extra Strong… and clouted my right knee against the cabinet corner. Made the brew and left it to stew. Then needed to use the Porcelain Throne. Trotsky Terence was losing his grip a little on the evacuation. So, much less time was wasted on cleaning up.

I took an early morning shot of the view from the kitchen window.

I’m hoping that the JS food delivery will be early, and they will deliver the flowers for Jillie.

So, it will leave me plenty of time to get things ready to get down to Jillie’s house with the flowers, bank, and shopping at the Ozan store. I’m hoping they have some of the Herb veg pork in stock and have a nosey around for any other delights that may take my fancy. Hehehe! Apart from Jillie! 💙

Hello! 

Richard arrived, handing me an SD card I could have, damned decent of him, bless him. He had another call, so again could not stay for a chinwag, but I appreciated his generosity. He should be back again the following Monday.

The Sainsbury delivery arrived. Thanks to tp the incompetency of Money-Mad Fries, the $23 million a year boss at Liberty Global, I had no distractions from the no-signal internet on the computer. So I got on with sorting the things delivered out to storage.

As you can see here on the left, fresh foods are topped up and a couple of treats. But they have sent pork pate with pork, not the vegetarian, so that will have to be found a home. There is plenty of date on it, so maybe Richard can have it on Monday. Also, and as well, and besides: Three items short out of stock, but to avoid getting substitutes, like shoe polish for waffles, I ticked the ‘Do Not Substitute’ Button… Cunning? After packing things away, the fridge didn’t look overfull? Had I missed something? Bags of room in the refrigerator still. Have I lost a load of nosh or something? I pondered… I have been known to do this several times a day! Then realised, no yoghourts, no cakes and no leeks, I’ll make an order for Morrisons later.

Not the same story with the freezer, mind you. Well, cram-packed, that is. In fact, I’ve got freeze burns and bruises on my fingers as I fumbled about taking stuff out and rearranging things to make more room for the new stuff squashed and levered and bashed food into the drawers. I felt a smidge smug after sorting it all out! Hehe!

I made the order for Morrisons for Sunday. By which time there should be a little more room. I called Jillie to see which flowers she would prefer, and the gal opted for the roses; nothing romantic was involved in that, I’m too old, and she is too beautiful. But I still love her.

Off to get ablutions. No rush; I think I can take my time and still catch the 10:30hr bus down the hill. I’m not joking here: Harolds’s Haemorrhoids and Little Inchies Fungal Lesion were not bleeding! No bleeding, shaving, nasal clearing or teeth cleaning! Honestly!

These are never pain-free, as you would expect. But nothing was extreme pain-wise; even ointmentating the lesion had an acceptable Argh-Level!

Fair enough, poor old right-knee Arthur Itis and Cathleen Cartilage came off painfully when I was leaving after doing the medicating when an involuntary Neuropathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about proper leg dance kicked off. I hit my knee on the door frame. I recall being even more annoyed than usual cause everything had gone so well in the session. Got dressed and checked the items needed, and I set off…

THE TRIP OUT!

I put the rebagged flowers in the trolley walker in carrier bags, with some plonk for the Wardens and Jillie. Out, locked the door, in the lift, along the link corridor into Winwood Court, to the Wardens Holding-Cell Offices. Haha! Dropped the Alstroemeria Bouquet for Generaloberstess, Ice skating champion, Warden Julie, and Desktop Dancer and Obersturmbannfuhreress Warden Dean this week. Wished the gals well and out to the bus stop… this was unbelievable!…

I arrived at the bus with almost perfect timing. Four other tenants, who I greeted, were at the bus shelter. I was standing near the kerbside with my bus pass in hand… The 40 Bus sped into and around the turning island… and ignored us all, didn’t slow down an iota, – and he sped back out again? The folks were livid! Shaking fists at the departing bus, shouting, swearing… I think this may have annoyed them somewhat!

I set off wobbling along with the walker-guide trolley. I couldn’t get annoyed with the bus driver until I found out why leaving us. He may well have just got a message on the RT about a family member taking ill? I set off down Winchester Street towards Jillie’s house at the bottom of the road on the left. The right knee caused me some discomfort en route, but knowing I was just about to meet Jillie eased things considerably. Hehe! ♥

I took my time and got to her door. It was a pleasure to see her smiling face as she helped me up the steps with the trolley. I handed her the roses, and I got a kiss for them and the plonk. She was working on and off in the other room. She made me comfy in a chair and put cushions around me – yer can’t ask for better treatment!

We had some chinwags, and later, she signed off work on her computer to go with me to the cashpoint and shop. What an angel!

As we were waiting to cross over to the bank, Jillie said: There’s a cashpoint at Ozan’s shop. Let’s go there. So we did! She helped me back down the steps, and we chinwagged on the short trip to the bank machine.

It was terrific shopping with Jillie. She looked after me like she would a grandfather; I thought of her as a daughter. She dealt with staff for me cause she knows my hearing problems, and I got some vegetarian and pork meats, amongst other items. We walked back up Winchester Street, where her house was, hugged, and departed. She left me at the bus stop, bless her cotton socks.

I’d just missed a bus, so I decided to walk carefully up the hill, taking some photographs en route.

Halfway up Winchester Street Hill, the clouds caught my eye again, and I took this snap on the right. It came out rather artistically? Well, maybe not, then. Getting towards where the road changes name. To the right, it becomes Mapperley Rise, and to the left, at the building you see, it continues as Winchester Street. I think years ago it led to the railway station, now gone! In fact, the flats were built on the site!

As I turned onto Chestnut Way, where Winwood Heights are, I noted on the verge the usual Nottingham collection of rubbish, and amidst the fag packets, sweet wrappers, empty bottles, chewing gum, thrown away cans and contraceptives, the flowers that always amaze me more than any other. The determined daisies. So pretty and yet simple. The blue can, maggots coming out of it? Hehehe! What’s this, alcoholic maggots and meat flies?

I crossed over Chestnut Way, passing the bus stop that people get abandoned at, Haha!). I knocked on the Warden’s office to report the bus, but I think they were on break, so I continued through the link corridor on my way. Not a soul in sight; it was oddly eerie until a man and woman came in the opposite direction, we exchanged pleasantries between us, and I went to the swipe door at the end.

The area built for mobile and disabled scooter storage is where the power points are located.

Then, on to the lifts in Woodthorpe Court.

Still nobody about. I pressed for the 12th-floor. (Well, it seemed a good idea as I live on the 12th, Haha! I can still be quick sometimes! Not physically, mind, my days of bungee jumping are over! I can’t see (Cataracts, Glaucoma and Saccades, Haha!) myself playing snooker, squash, or even the barrel organ again? I’ve not got a lot of hope of doing the Hokey Cokey!

I got through the inner lobby doors, wiping the blood off the wall after trapping my knuckle in the door as I fought to stop the wheelie-walker from going over.

Then whilst I was struggling through the apartment door with the wheelie-guide, I knocked the waste bags off the box, and one split open! Why do I bother?

Got it cleaned up and sorted. Put the trolley in the corner, brakes on, turned to go through to the kitchen with a little bag of nosh, and knocked nearly all of the clothes hanging on the hooks off onto the floor as Dizzy Dennis paid a visit!

I got the mock ham, sandwich fillers, and soft cheese portions. Ready to make the nosh later… Oh, and the bottle of Oyster sauce. I’ve never tried that before, and Jillie warned me not to use it a lot.

Then it was concentrating on getting this blog done. I spent four hours on it, and the evening carer arrived; it was Cheeky Charley, so pleased to see her; she’s not been for a week or two now.

Did some more blogging and then on to Facebooking catch-up.

Lovely day for me; seeing Jillie was the highlight. But walking down and up the hill had done me in. I’ll get some fodder and sleep, I hope. Finish this off in the morning… again, I hope. I wash, stripped off, and down to kip! Haha!

Friday AM, 01:30hrs. I’m back. Wee-wee and on the computer.

Uploaded the nosh picture and car park ones from yesterday. The first car park one showed a lack of RVM vans on the hatched no parking area and the small red car in RVM’s spot. RVM had parked at the back in a proper car parking space. Curious! Hehe!

The sourdough sarnies, veggie sausages and meat, cheese twist, yellow tomatoes, banana and mini vegan orange flavoured cake made up the evening meal. A Taste Rating of 7/10.

😴 Ode to Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit 😴

No Mortal is at all hours wise: to those giving generously,
R.A.O.B., Military, Masonry, things like them, you see?
GLE, GLC, folks who generally live life benevolently,
And many others working for a charity,
Does this ode verse lack a certain clarity?

This Ode, maybe a smidge short on facticity,
I always wanted to join brainy clericity,
But I was too thick and brain dead; that was a pity,
No education for me; I survived using astucity,
I shouldn’t be writing about this; I lack profundity!

Did my best in school but lacked the perspicuity…
Never got near to showing any sagacity…
Not guilty of showing financial rapacity…
For being bullied, being a coward, I’d got the capacity…
I’d have had a better life if I’d shown more pugnacity,

To others, I seem to confuse with abstrusity…
I’ve tried to retain unquestionable veracity, honesty,
Yet always a victim of con men and predacity…
I also try to avoid showing spite or mordacity,
I was born with certain appendages of great paucity!

I strove to avoid doing the devil’s work, infelicity…
Unfortunately, with a high level of inefficacity!
Always the victim, gullible, with incredible credulity,
My brain showing sporadic moments of reality…
But riddled throughout with psychoactivity!

Mornin’ all!

Inchcock Today: Monday 16th May 2022

Monday, 16th May 2022

I was hoping for a better day!

Things stirred back to reality at 05:25hrs, after 6 hours of sleep and various periods of jumping awake. Making a total time being awake of two hours. Does that make sense? Sorry if not.

According to the best I can make out from the scribbled memory notes, the next occurrence was; P.Tarone Enight? Beats me!

I rose like a tried elephant from the c1968 second-hand recliner, grabbed walking stick Metal Mickey, and went to the wet room to get the Ablutions done.

But my dithering nature interfered, and I took the waste bin out of the wet room, emptied the others and made up some waste bags. Took them to the flat door.

It was drizzling outside, and as I put the kettle on, I took a photo of the road to the left of the kitchenette window. Plenty of trees on it get fresh air.

It’s no wonder I’ve never seen a for sale sign on the beautiful looking Cavendish Vale.

The skies were, I thought, ripe for a few minutes of pareidolia. I’m keen on finding figures in the clouds. But on this occasion, I failed to find any. Humph!

Well, apophenia, finding figures in anything, creases, reflections, cracks in floor tiles, and bulging veins. I’m experienced in that one, having more bulging veins than most people.

I made the tea, went to put the milk in, but diverted back to getting the ablutioning done.

Well, once again, it was a fair session. Fair enough, a few teeny-weeny cuts shaving, but no knocks and bangs, dizzies, toe-stubbings or tumbles. I didn’t engage the Smug-Mode… it’s early yet.

I even got out through the door without any shoulder-charging of the frame… Yes, go on then;

Got the laundry bag sorted. Made another mug of tea for the one I let go cold, and Dizzy Dennis gave me a few moments of concern… only a  short bout, maybe a minute at most. But it had me holding on to the stick and hastening to sit down. But Dennis disappeared, and I was fine when I stood up? There are no messages from EQ, but I think it may be another semi-harrowing day, somehow? 

Sunday’s photograph of the messy mud-slide onto the end car park on Chestnut Way. It has been known for Cataract Kathleen to do this to me! I hope I’ve not put this one on before?

This is this morning’s shot of the same area. I found some more of the indecipherable scrawl on the memory pad here, not the foggiest of what it meant. Try as I did, it remains a mystery,

A sudden robust rumbling from the innards!  I was all but too late, getting to the Throne in time in seconds. Trotsky Terence controlled the evacuation. Gawdawfull messy it was! Had to change the PPs (Protection Pants) I’d put on an hour ago! Ah, well, I got everything cleaned up.

Richard arrived late; he’d had a lousy shift, I think. The poor lad looked done in. He still had a look at the SD card for me. Putting it in and out to see if anything changed; and found that the card had split! He took the waste bags out with him for me, with my thanks.

I hope the new card works in the Canon and the reader accepts it. Praying here! I opened the card, full of hope and cut my finger on the plastic! Got it fitted in the camera (not the finger, the SD card), and I tried taking shots that I did yesterday to use here and test the system. Good heavens, it worked! So, I engaged in the use of the, with reservations. As you can see here, it worked.

Outside my Winwood Heights Independent Living block of flats, I hobbled out onto the balcony to look at what was. Conducted my Blood Pressure and temperature checks. SYS 154, DIA 68, Pulse 78, and the body temperature was a decent 34.1°c.

A couple of miles away, I took a zoomed-in shot of HMP, her Majesties Nottingham Prison. And thoughts and questions permeated through… “I bet they can see their prison Doctor or Dentist at any time?”, “They’ll get their cataracts done quicker than I get mine!” “They are not worried about the rent, electricity, food, transport, bus fares, etc. going up?” “Most likely, get their free computers mended for free!” They’ll not worry about forgetting to lock their doors either! Hahaha!

Gawd, he’s been at it again, almost one-stop since morning. Bang, tap-tap, scrape, thud, boing… I did not retaliate. After all, what is the point in haggling with the self-centred, impolite, insensitive, disrespectful, snobbish, haughty, pompous, pretentious, uppity, scoffing, contumelious, smart-alecky, and ineffable, cruel, unsympathetic, toffee-nosed, self-important, nyaff, noisy nasty man?
As luck has it, I like him.

Far too ridiculously late, I made a start on this blog. Of course, something had to go wrong…

Am I the luckiest person on earth, I asked myself?

Of course not!

That honour must go to Steve Fries, the bigwig of Liberty Global, Whose inability to send an uninterrupted internet signal to Nottingham earns him $23 million a year!

Jealous? Me? Yes!

Miraculously, it was only down for a minute or so this time; I felt almost happy about it! Temporarily!

I thought I’d better check to see if any messages or missed calls had been received while I was so busy being mucked about my Herbert and Fries. Still, Herbert entertained me with some clattering-about sounds.

Could I find the phone? No! There was worry but no panic initially. All I had to do, was go through all of my jackets and trousers that I’d worn since I last used the mobile phone (whenever that was). I vaguely remember putting it in a pocket and saying, “Don’t forget that it’s in that pocket!”

Within about ten minutes, I settled for Thursday, when the foot lady texted me telling me I was late for my appointment again… that was in the brain box! I engaged my Sherlock Holmesian Methodology, and first, I worked out when I last went out. Now, what was I wearing? Maroon jacket? Blur jacket? Black trousers, or green trousers? Was I wearing my trousers – nobody said anything.

After a heated discussion with myself, I narrowed it down to the green or black trousers; and the red or blue jacket, all of which were in the laundry bag. Then thought, aha! (I do that sometimes), It might be in the pyjama bottoms, two pairs of them in the laundry. I almost felt confident as I went into the back room to search for the clothing in the bag… I should have known better at my age and after many years of failed memory training!

Well, now I was getting hot under the collar! I smugly checked through every pocket and the bag… not sausage in there. (Not that I was after one, of course, a figure of speech and all that).

A lengthy search in each room and all the clothes hanging up in the front room and the hallway proved a failure, with no mobile to be seen. Of course, if I knew my mobile number, I could ring it and hope I heard it to locate it. Although if it was in a pocket, as I still believed it was, I might not hear it anyway… I rang the desktop dancer and Warden Deana to ask if she could ring the mobile for me, but to was engaged… oh, that reminds me; she is six weeks away from getting married; bless her, and a lucky fellow too… I digress again, sorry. I do tend to do that a lot.

I rummaged, rooted and ferreted about, delving into the most unlikely of places, all to no avail. Then a spark in the brain suggested that it may have fallen and gone underneath the cabinet or recliner? Worth a look, so I did…

I got the torch and was leaning on the arm of the recliner to get low enough to check the sides, with my intentions bravely being, if no success, to get on my knees to look under the chair. But as I was leaning forward and on my left leg – perfect timing from the Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, who gave me a flailing right leg out of control dance… Which naturally had me on the floor in seconds. The spectacles are now in a precariously loose state of repair. Also, I’ve got two newly bruised knees and a red cheek from hitting the arm on the way down!

As I was recovering and considering how to get back up on my feet, Deana came in at just the perfect time! She got me up, made sure things still worked with the legs, and laughed at the (at the time unknown to me) red patch on the cheek that looked like a clown’s make-up! Hahaha! Not really, but she should have.

Deana rang my mobile. I couldn’t hear it. But she found it, under the cover on the back of the computer chair… in a jacket pocket! I am totally losing it, and a twit!

Well, worra day! Again! It’s nearly 1700hrs now, so sleep looks like being late tonight. This blog is not halfway through yet! I pressed on with it like a mini but fat hero, determined to get it up to date…

♫Oh, Susana♫ rang out. I hobbled to the door (It was a pronounced hobble, the right knee was in some pain, Tsk!) and found Josie returning the jar that held the two meals for yesterday. Bless her, I could not hear what she was saying, but plashed a smile, mentioning Betty Bunter, bless her.

Arrived, soon sorted. Then, I had a go at catching up on Facebooking. Then comments on WordPress.

Got the nosh started. It is now passed 21:00hrs. It’s been another gruelling day. I caught my hand on the oven dish as I took it out of the oven. I believe I said, “Bother!”

Veggie burger, fries, tomatoes and some sugar snap crap Ecuadorian peas. I realised a small stale cake and an out-of-date, but I could not see the date, and tasting it realised it was rancid. The banana was okay, though. However, despite these minor upsets, the flavour rating given was 6.5/10.

Had a wash, and when I came out to do the pot washing, the great sky looked to me just like an oil or water painting.

I took my time taking the last photo, as it was zoomed-in and getting the Canon camera to hold steady enough for a decent shot was not easy. I probably had to take six or seven tries to get this last one, which is not very good. But retains something about it that I like.

I deleted the old snaps on the new SD card. Thinking it would be less confusing for Kathleen’s Cataracts, Doreen’s Dementia and me. But no, I only deleted two that had not been put on the computer yet! Hehe!

Getting to sleep was nigh on impossible; well, it was. The Thought Storms rampaging through the brain, self-hatred, shame, fear… I was in the right state. It’d been a messy day, but why this? I put the TV on, but that didn’t send me off. Utter worn-outedness did it in the end, around about 02:30hrs!

Still, yers don’t like to complain, does yer?

Alto-Inchies Ode on Inchcock

I’ve been a bit worried about Inchcock for many a day,
His brain has been loaded with worries & clamjamfry…
Doreen’s Dementia is getting more and more on display!
His memory is shot to pieces, bar some bits of scintillae,
He’s had two falls, one on Sunday, another on Monday,
His outlook, ideas and hopes become anachronistically…
If they come at all, his writing is full of godwottery!

But it wouldn’t help if he won the lottery…
He’s lost interest in anything financially…
His nest egg dwindling, becoming almost eleemosynary,
Worried over increases, rent, care, food, even his tea!
Electricity, travel, all risen in price, becoming too costly…
Will he get through it? There’s no guarantee…
If he tops hissen, what’ll happen to me?

Alto-Egos don’t always have it this easy,
Dominating Inchcock has been easy peasy!
Where will they move me? What human will I accrue?
Putin? His Alto-Ego could resign, but will he do?
I’d like to get at a human that’s evil, bloodthirsty!
For I fear I’ll get another docile twit like Inchie.

Written to create a laugh and or smile!

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 11th May 2020

Wednesday 11th May 2022

Ode To The Days Prospects

It’s going to be a messy day, says my EQ…
Most of the time, what says comes true,
Ignore him, and Accifauxpas will be due,
Whoopsiedangleplops, & tumbles, too…
Not to mention frustration coming to you!

Below are the details of the day that did accrue…
Although it is only a short, confusing review,
Peripheral Neuropathy troubles, what can I do?
A Facebook message from Timbuktu…
Virgin Internet down again – Boo-boo!

My anger at the above, I must subdue…
It got me in a pickle and nervous stew!
My concentration flailed, then flew…
I suppose, at least in the long view…
Another cock-up, Accifauxpas, is due?

Diary Of Woe

I recovered consciousness at 06:00hrs. No messing about, I rose and caught my balance. I went to get the kettle on, sorted the waste bags, had a wee-wee, then a wash, dressed and made a brew of Glengettie.

So much I had planned to do as well. Bitterly disappointed! I sent painful death wishes through the ether for Herr Fries… well, I can hope! Why? Jealousy and not believing the scumball who cannot a Virgin Media internet signal to Nottingham. Thus, making my life so difficult. Here is what my research found out are the other reason I hate the git to bits: Michael Fries: The estimated Net Worth of Michael T Fries is at least 184 Million dollars as of 1 May 2022. Mr Fries owns over 215,799 units of Liberty Global plc stock worth over $38,181,312, and over the last 9 years, he sold LBTYK stock worth over $22,634,655. In addition, he makes $123,254,000 as Vice Chairman of the Board, President, and Chief Executive Officer at Liberty Global plc. So, you can see why I’m pissed off and jealous?

I pondered on Fries’ nature and outlook. His traits came to mind; Lucre, payoffs, smoke & mirrors, profit, gelt, money, and incapabilities to run Virgin Media with any reliability. A few others came to me… deception, flimflam, hocus-pocus. Illusion, legerdemain, and under-handed professional prestidigitation? I think I’m close.

I can’t load photos, save anything, update yesterday’s blog, or titivate the News Snippets blog. Grrr! If I get any later, I’ll try to get them on. Otherwise, they will have to wait for the pleasure of the computer and SD reader another day.

Having to make a start on this blog using the Windows Notepad. Which does not have formatting to use, so when… silly me… IF the pathetic Liberty-Global Internet ever comes back on, it will take three times as long to get the post from here to the blog – cause it will need formatting again once in there. I’ve just sent another wish through the ether, urging Herr Fries testicles to rot and go gradually, inchmeal, agonisingly putrid.

Half an hour later, I tried to save again, feeling that it would be a waste of time… but I tried it; The New Post button clicked, and Oh, so slowly, the pixelating page came on… I’ll try again… Aha! Well done, Virgin Media, it’s back on… no idea how long for… Back to updating the last diary.

Carer Richard arrived as I was making a brew of Extra Strong tea. I was in the kitchen and did not hear the door chime? And I’d put some olive oil in the ears earlier? The lad looked shattered, and he had another visit to make yet. So I didn’t keep him for too long. I forewent the chatting. Gave him some bits to take home, adding a Tango iced lolly as he left; he likes them. He’s got to start a shift again tonight, as well.

The photos are loaded! Why suddenly? I know not, but I’m just glad they did. (Later, it froze again, so pictures will be missing, Grumph!) I got those that got on into the hard drive. Took a while and a lot of hassle.

As I was putting the SD card back in the camera, I realised that dying neurotransmitters that come with Peripheral Neuropathy had taken over the fingers in my right hand.

Blogging away and the door-chime rang out. It was Amazon with the Distilled vinegar. It’s been that long now; I’d forgotten I’d ordered it.

Got the second blog finished and posted. The time is flashing by now. Blogging on…

I called Warden Deana and asked about the TV licence and door key, which were paid for and ordered three weeks ago. She said she’d be up to see me later.

Blogging, it is getting harder to concentrate now. Herbert was on form again with his noise making.

I blogged on slowly now… Went to make a brew, and Warden Deana arrived. She had the receipt for the TV licence. She texted someone about the lack of the new spare key arriving. No reply. She’ll try again later and let me know.

I took a break from blogging and opened the box with the 5litre plastic bottle of distilled vinegar. The cardboard on the box was covered in plastic tape. I’m glad nobody was listening to me as I did it… There was a little cursing taking place. Hehe! I think it might have taken half a tree to make that box. It took me over an hour to dismantle it. It came close to a cut finger or knuckle a few times, but I managed it without losing any blood… got a few bruises, mind.

Blogging again and trying to get the photos loaded… Huh!

Blimus! It’s 17:25hrs already! I’ll turn off the computer and let it cool down while I make something to eat. Then, all being well, I’ll try to load the photographs again… but I may fall asleep instead… possibly burning the meal as well…

Got the nosh eaten, well I say nosh… I was so uptight and tired; I had two little cakes and an iced lolly. Tsk! Then tried to upload the photos again… Nope! Hopefully, they’ll get into tomorrow’s blog; of course, I’ll have forgotten where, why, and when most of them were taken.

Carer Valerie arrived as I washed the pots, cups, and plastic plates. Hehe! Had a mini-natter, but it was hard work with my eyes and ears so bad. She was treated to nibbles of her choice, and off she went with my thanks.

Had a wash and got stripped off and onto the second-hand, £300, charity shop-bought, gungy beige coloured, not-working, c1968 recliner, in search of sleep.

But, would it come? No! Despite my body ‘leaving much to be desired,’ mind telling me I needed to sleep! It was not to be! Even the trick of putting on the TV, which usually assures me of nodding off during the advert break, failed to help. I did have a couple of dropping-off’s, but they were only for a few seconds, followed by disturbing jumps awake to find myself talking? I can’t say that I’ve noticed that before?

After the last of the springing awakes and mutterings, I noticed that the news was showing on the telly. The eleven o’clock news, and thought, well, I’ll watch this. And Zzzz!

Inchcock Diary: Yesterday & Today

Inchcock Yesterday & Today Diary

Due to Doreen’s Dementia, my excellent ability to forget things and get more confused daily, my ailments, the computer card reader, and CorelDraw difficulties, I’m mentally in a state.

Not to mention Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet persistent going down. (Oh, I did say it!)

So this will not be as visually appealing as usual. And most likely, with happenings out of sync with each other and scarcity of photographs on offer. Also, my terrible memory-aid scribblings/writings on the notepad are somewhat unreadable. Messy, rushed… Tsk! Here I go…

MONDAY

Up at 04:00hrs: First sentence on pad undecipherable with these cataract eyes. Tried to upload photos, but no go. Wee-wee, a mug of tea… (Another unreadable few lines). Blogging, terrible internet connection again as Sunday was. Four hours to update the first part of the blog for Saturday & Sunday. Wee-wee.

Then Carer Richard arrived. Lifeline check. (Illegible) Wash and medicationalisationing. Stubbed toe.

Tea, another wee-wee. Got the ode finished at last. WP comments. WP Reader, Emailed blog link and Picts, then did Facebooking.

Tried to get photos on but failed again. But not surprising as Liberty-Global Virgin Media kept dying on and off!

Made a start on the News snippets blog. (Notes were as clear as mud)

Herbert started tapping and knocking with the odd crashing noises thrown in with all the problems.

I phoned Deana about the TV licence text. (Unfathomable writing for two paragraphs, Huh!) I hope she will call tomorrow to pick up the money.

CorelDraw problems. Josie returned the tray from Sunday, she did say she enjoyed the meal but did not mention the Woo-Woo, so it’s back to G&T for her next week. Hehe!

The Idaho pot potatoes were delivered. Late now. What to have for nosh later… couldn’t decide but I fancy trying one of the potatoes? Stored them with the others and noodles.

Back on the blogging, and…

(More indistinct squawl on the notepad). Net came back on, and I tried blogging again… so slow, I gave up.

Carer Valerie arrived. We got the medications taken and had a minute or so natter.

I made this odd-looking meal. A pot of noodles, a pot of potatoes and a cake. First time I’ve tried these pot spuds. They claim to have vegetarian sausage and gravy in them. Gravy? I could see nor taste any… not that I was bothered, cause they still tasted great to me! Flavour Rating: 6.8/10.

Head down, and was soon off in the arms of Sweet Morpheus, a nice change!

TUESDAY

A better night this time. Only woke up about five times and felt better than usual when I did!

I stirred back into ersatz life around bout 06:15hrs. Not feeling as bad as I usually do. Of course, I’d have at least six hours kip, which was why I felt perkier, I imagine? As I rose, I took this snap through the balcony window of the bottom field on Woodthorpe Grange Park.

Had a wee-wee. Maybe a cystitis infection, mayhaps. Regrettably, it was still reluctant and just a smidge painful, needing an effort on my behalf to force things along. But no problem with how I felt, which was livelier than for a while.

I checked the taps and heating as I went to get the kettle on. Made up a waste bag, and I was off to the wet room.

Got the Blood Pressure machine, the sphygmomanometer as its clever name is. Hehe!

SYS was a little high, 157, and DIA at 67. But the pulse seemed okay.

The NHS graph said it was only in the High zone, so it’s nowt new there. My Chinese (Hong Kong) by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, a contactless thermometer, gave a satisfactory result at 34.8°c.