Inchcock’s Security Industry True Tales of Woe
The Night Noc Ob & Rep Assignment
That is how the manager described the duties to me when telling me what assignment I was on the following night.
Night Binocular Observation and Report is what he meant.
There were two of us were to be based in a field, opposite a Garden Centre just outside of Nottingham.
The criminal elements had hit it three times in a week.
We were given a quick run-down on how to operate the night Binoculars, and sent as soon as it got dark, to the field opposite the entrance to the Garden centre.
We parked the van behind some trees in the field, and settled down in the ditch at the roadside to carry out our Night Noc Ob & Rep Assignment. We were to observe the main gates and site for any signs of intrusion. In the event of any such occurrence, we were to summon the police, and try to bar the escape routes of the raiders until the police arrived, if safe to do so.
It was very windy, and after about two hours or so, the rain belted down. We discussed whether we should get into the van, but decided against it, as if anything happened and we missed it, we would really get it in the neck.
Trevor, the chap on duty with me was a big confident lad, and this gave me some confidence that we would prevail if anything kicked off.
But there were no signs of any intrusion at the premises all night,
All had been quiet.
About 0330hrs, Trev said he’d go to the van and get our nosh and flasks. I gave him the keys, and awaited his return.
When he did return, not carrying any fodder, he leant down to my head level and whispered: “Fuck me, the some bastard’s nicked the bleedin’ van!”
Oh dear!…
Bloody bold bastards stealing your van. Did you ever get the van back?
Not in a drivable condition Tim no. Mind you, it was only drivable with great concentration, skill and lots of praying before it was stolen. Hehe.
The boss was well pleased when the insurance paid out on it!
That’s the way you like things to workout. The boss should have given you a raise.
It was lucky for us mate, good job we didn’t go in the better van. That one had brakes that worked too!
Security despite the SIA (Security Industry Authority) coming into being is still full of Cowboys. Too many companies vying for too little trade.
What am I saying… it don’t matter to me know does it? Cheers.
How ironic!
As soon as look up what ironic means I’ll comment back gal… oh yes I remember now.
Your right!
Oh right, like isn’t it a LOMM prerequisite to know the meaning of irony and be able to use it in 3 instances before they are officially made a member?
this made me chuckle !
p.s. I’ve put a link to this post up in madhatters – [that should get you another 2 or 3 readers]
Bejasus tank you Sur!
Hmmm – a clear case of Repo Noc Off & Nick a Night Noc Ob and Rep van.
Did you have to walk home?
Hehe.
We got on the RT and gave control a sit-rep and waited for the rollicking and sarcasm to arrive via the night manager. Which it did!
Hey-ho..
Oh… I was wondering whose van it was, and why it wouldn’t stop when I took the turn next to the canal.
Still, at least I rescued the sandwiches and flask before the bloody thing sank without trace.
A tip for next time…. don’t put brown sauce on ham sandwiches – it’s either English mustard or nothing.
…. and no milk or sugar in the coffee either!
Oh.. you naughty boy!
Brown sauce on ham – never! Mustard or ketchup yes.
Hope you feel better for your confession mate.
Hehehe!
TTFN