Bestirred!

Woke up, cramps in my toes were dying down; I checked on my feet,
Other than the tootsies, the feet and legs looked alright,
In fact, almost a pretty sight!
Send the photo to the Tate? I might!

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Mystery Music?

Moving my obese wobbly body, I heard a weird distant noise,
Mumbling, semi-musical, it could have been rumbustious schoolboys,
Seemed it might be coming from the end car park, which annoyed me.
I opened the balcony to see if I could spot the hobbledehoy,
Binoculars, camera, long-distance spectacles, but I had no joy…

A mystery to me, nothing untoward could I see… Oy-oy?
The music started; Thud thud thud, noisy? Oh, boy!
It suddenly stopped, what sounded like someone on a tannoy…
Rang out, then silence fell – wonder if it the local Choirboys?

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Fodder Preperationing

Perhaps the finest, best, tastiest Relish!
Although to deceased tastebuds, it’s a bitch!
To get your tonsils tingling and atwitch…
This is the sonovabitch!

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I’m thinking of getting a new, more robust padlock! Hehe!

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Good enough for little me,
Although they make me pee,
The cupboard door just swung free,
And I clouted missen on the knee!
Accifauxpas started early – Hehe!

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Which means…

More hand washing for me to do,
But I’m not getting into a stew,
I’ll get the clothes looking brand new,
And then I’ll make a Glengettie brew!

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Ah, kettles on, I’ll photo the view.

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.

I know what I’ll do now, the Blood Pressure test,
My first effort was not exactly my best…
I’ll do it again, at my own behest…
Oh no, excellent readings – I thumped my chest!
Yahoo! This reading is one of my best!.

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Late On Sky

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There followed, I’m not kidding, ten hours of slogging on the internet. Amazon, two more parcels are expected today. The tracker said for both of them; Today by 15:00hrs…, next check Today by 17:00hrs. Now it’s showing today by 21:00hrs! Being a Saturday, it is my day to select copy and file words to use on the Odes.

I was doing so well…

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WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP S

I decided to get the ablutions done and give me a break from the brain-work. Ablutions to do. It seemed such a good, logical idea at… at the time!

Oh, no! I got as far as the sink to get the nasal cleaning things out… I stepped backwards, intending to close the door, and lost my balance as I turned. It’s not that I tumbled back and came into contact with the doorframe then floor. That is the highlight of this incident…

It’s that, apart from setting Harolds Haemorrhoids bleeding and a smidge of pain – It how I bounced off of the door frame, I had no control with my going backwards; The miracle is that I hit the edge and slid down almost in slow motion! This slowed me down en route. Thus no serious bother whatsoever was caused! No elbow, arm or shoulder, or head-banging!!!Even Back-Pain-Brenda didn’t kick-off!

I know it must sound daft, but I felt over the moon with my luck!

But to be on the safe side, I abandoned the ablution session anyway.

I’ll do it later on when the Amazon has been… if it isn’t too late.

Otherwise, I’ll just stay dirty. Hahaha!

I Stayed Dirty!

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The Carer, whose name just escapes me at the moment, rang the door chime and entered. (I know, me forgetting something, it’s hard to believe. Hehe!) She did spot me dropping a tablet as I took them, a Codeine as it turned out, Tsk! I wondered what she was doing when she bent down in front of me… Hahaha! No bags were taken to the chute. So I took them with some more I made up. And considering my Accifauxpa earlier, I nipped along like a good un! Amazing!

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Getting Late Now

Sugar! I’ve missed the firework display again!
So, no photographs! Life is a strain,
The reason for this miserable failure, I put down to my hearing aids batteries both dying a death at the same time again,
It left me with mental pain and a damaged brain…
Not really!

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Ode To Sleep

Getting to sleep in the old days of the chimney sweep,
Meant using the services of the Nags Head, barkeep,
Which got me into fisticuffs and many a losing threap!
Get home, and the stairs seemed just too steep…
So I’d collapse noisily into a stupor and unsightly heap!

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Part Of The Nottingham Lads True Tales Of Woe In Ode – Series