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I’ve never received an assumpsit,
On a jury, they’ve never let me sit,
Won £5 on the pools; nothing on the Lottery,
No prize for my Whoopsiedangleploppery,
Never been called dictatorial, or absolutistic,
Lived most of my life as allegoric or metaphoric,
After some seizures, I go all apathetic,
All dreams I have are absurd, amphigoric,
At 6, I decided I’d learn how to whittle,
And chopped my thumb off, that made me widdle,
At 7, crossing a bridge, I got thrown in a canal,
At 9, I fell downstairs, made myself vestigial,
At 10, for a dare, I ate an angelwitch!,
Now elderly, I’m an insomniac, agrypnotic,
When younger, I was most apolaustic,
Got sacked a few times, an experienced attrit!
Since my stroke, I’ve experienced being abiotic,
Teachers said that I was idiotic!
They found my ulcer had turned carcinogenic,
Which left me feeling a mite catatonic,
Hoping my odes are seen as copacetic,
My few remaining teeth look like eolith,
This afternoon, I got stuck in the lift!
This is all true, you know, not a myth!
So, can you see why I sometimes get miffed?
I think laughing at myself is a gift!
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A rough start to the day, but I’ll explain later.
Three hours into consciousness, things improved healthwise. In fact, as I type this, it’s been a much better day.,
But only physically, healthwise. Mentally,  it brought me many things I could have done without.
The most frustrating thing was the computer. It was causing internet blackouts, and I’ve reloaded Google eighteen times already. Blunkerbonks! Losing work done every time. Depressed about this; I know it will eventually become unusable. However, none of the computer people I asked for help responded positively. When I rang, they informed me that they were swamped, but the engineer would contact me. Please be patient. That was seven months ago!
Very little on the blog today because I lost all my later photos in a blackout.
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05:20hrs: After an improved sleep, I stirred into imitation life and dismounted the hospital bed. Emptying the nocturnal pouch, I realised it had not been assed for colour, but the Carer will do it for me, I poured some of the wee in a cardboard cup, to be checked later.
My mind was not exactly clear, and I kept wondering what it was I’d planned to do while mountaineering from the hospital bed.
I went to check the taps, fridge, freezer and stoves to make sure I had not left anything on again. Nope, all looked good, and Anne Gyne had missed her usual attacks that assault me within an hour of waking up. Well, they have been doing the last few mornings.
Boy, what a fantastic sight greeted me from the kitchen window.
At first, I thought I’d lost half a day, and it was nighttime. When I changed my glasses, I realised it was not a sunset but the red moon disappearing over the horison. I took a closer shot of it within 30 seconds and saw how far it had gone down since the first snap was taken. The mist was far less this morning. It felt a lot warmer this morning.

I gathered the things needed to do the ablutions and medications. I also remembered that the Yauhuol needed handwashing. I’m struggling with this job, so I spoke with myself, telling myself to be extra careful when washing and not to spill any more water again. I believe I cursed myself for having done it for the last two mornings. It knocks me up having to mop using the stick.
A bit of advance planning here. Oh, yes! While doing the ablutions, I realised I was going to hang the Yahuole on the shower railings, so I put the bowls in position to catch some of the dripping water. Cunning that, I thought!  Then, the Porcelain Throne was needed. Messy more than ever this morning.
The teeth were done, then the shaving, and multiple nicks bled. But the ever-reliable Brut aftershave soon stopped them all from bleeding. I’d sooner not talk about the medicalisationings if you don’t mind. Oh, go on, then, but it brings back the pain. As per usual, the worst was from the creaming and massaging of. Arrgh! does not begin to cover the pain this time. I threw in a few naughty words and curses at myself; being generous by nature, I lobbed a few in for and at our Banckhander-taking, Pensioner-Killing Conservative Fürher Keir Starmer. I wish someone would inform him that he’s supposed to be leading the Labour Party. Albeit they are showing signs of beibg more like a Nazi- Party!
I lost the plot there; sorry about that!

Carer Ahmed arrived. We tried the key safe, and we actually got it open! Well, Ahmed did. As we were walking back inside, I knew it had to come, it was guaranteed; she launched her morning attack belatedly and kept it up for hours without a break. I asked if I could have an extra Codeine, but after calling his boss, this was refused. I could understand why. It says on the box that I can take up to four a day on the prescription tag on the box. I regularly take 3 a day, rarely needing a fourth. But as the commandant said, it will mean me taking two together, and this cannot be allowed. Eventually, she calmed down around teatime. Fair enough, but the pain was peracute; is that the right word? 
Fair enough, but the pain was peracute. Is that the right word?  It felt excruciating at the time. Hello, she’s off on her tour of my chest, ribs and neck again!

Eventually, late afternoon, I realised the Yahuole was still soaking in the kitchen sink, so I got it handwashed.
I came so close to having a tumble as I stretched to get the coarhanger onto the shower rail. Had it been Cartilage Cathy (right knee) and not Cartilage Chloe (left knee) that gave way, I’d have had noting to grab a hold of to stop me crumpling into mop bucket, the bowls used to catch the drips, and possibly another head bashing on the trolley or sink. 
But no, a bit of luck falling the other way, with a safety bar within reach… which clung onto! Just found a tiny bruise on the left ribs.

The seizure took care of things for about two hours. I have no idea if I did anything silly while out of it. No, I lie! I did do some work on the blog. Later, I found all the cock-ups I made and will try to find and correct them all (I hope) in the morning.

Carer “Joe” is due for a late call anytime now. I’m going to make two sandwiches: thick, chunky bread, no butter, sliced cooked pork loin to go on the bread, and Marmite and beetroot! If I feel brave enough, I may do some oven chips to go with the sarnies. I’m so rascally at times. Haha!

Carer “Joe” said he is off tomorrow. So the Small Asian Angel & Carer Ahmed should be serving me this Saturday.

NOSH
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Word of the day: flibbertigibbety
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TTFNski!
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