Inchy Today: Monday 19th May 2025

20/05/202520/05/2025 / Inchie / 4 Comments

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Starmer cops for it again
I might say that life is an enigma,
With complications over which to ponder,
I try to understand, to be an analyser,
Will I ever be a true comprehendor?
I’m not a very good fact grasper,
My desire to know grows achier,
I make notes in my adversaria…
Hard to read them with my glaucoma,
HMG gets more and more austerer,
Will life ever again get boshter?
Starmer, the great circumventor…
Fibber, fabulist and fabricator,
A decent con man and storyteller,
His promises get ever zigzaggier,
He may prattle, babble or yatter…
Of things that don’t really matter,
To the ordinary shat-on voter,
A Labour core value nonbeliever,
A degenerate, a political gangster,
Moral derelict, deceptive fact-dodger,
A political delinquent, a dispiriter,
He’s double-crossing, a double-dealer,
Fabricator, killer and demoraliser,
He’s corrupt, immoral, & diabolic!
Rosey cheeks from his dipsomania?.
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Depression Duncan and High-Mode-Horis shared the day again, visiting me so often, but neither had the upper hand. I lied. Duncan has just returned after a decent time with Horis, which gives Duncan the upper hand. I just can’t concentrate. At least they took a while, as they did yesterday, before toying with my mind. So I got a few photos and graphicalisations done to go on before I turned into a… never mind.
The mistakes made today outnumbered yesterday, maybe two to one. But one of the Accifaupa’s had a distinct bit of humour attached to it. It’s about the only spot of fun all day. I was on a downer for the three Carer calls. But they went well, particularly on the first call. Which was well after the humourous incident of the day. I’m delaying telling you so I can make myself look a tad not so daft.
I’ll start as usual by waking up and somehow freeing myself, oh, so reluctantly, from the bed’s clutches.

I forced myself to move my legs to get off of the bed.
And were not pleased with being moved. They both gave way together when I got my weight on the floor! I’m so glad they did it when they did, with me having the pleasure of the bed to fall on. It was almost a pleasure. Haha!
While emptying the catheter night pouch, I decided to get a shower, shave, and medicate where I could reach. I checked the kitchen in case I’d left something on or running and took a scarce photograph. In my wandering mind, only a precious few made it to the blog. I think I took several view photos later from different angles, only to find I’d left the card in the computer when I loaded this one.
It took ages for the sun to break through, well into the afternoon.
The tail end of this tale of woe contains the humorous Accifauxpas. I think you’ll laugh at it!

The first job before getting things ready for the task at hand was to remove the catheter muslin bag. I joke not; it took me half an hour, a lot of pain, loss of blood from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, and the use of some, erm… shall I say, colourful cursing and swearing to get it off undamaged. I’ll ask the Carer later to put it back on for me.
As needed, I was off to the wet room with towels, etc. Plans went askew, and I got seated on the Porcelain Throne in reply to a burst of wind escaping from my rear end. I was actually rushing, thinking things may be starting and coming of their own volition again. But No!
This warped, mangled body, mind, and innards were fooled again. The anticipated near-liquid flushing did not happen. Trotsky Terence wasn’t in the running.
Ruled the roost.
After several failed, painful efforts to encourage the movement, I sat back with the crossword book and had a go at it. I’d not been doing well over the last few days on that puzzle, yet I got about ten clues answered!
Conrad releases his hold, and a little wind and a pong permeated out, followed by three massive torpedoes! One after the other. Glad they escaped!
I cleaned my teeth and might have gone into a seizure. I remember the toothbrush hitting something and bouncing down; I heard it fall, and then that was it for a few minutes. I came back and found that I was sitting on the WC again. I felt confused, but there was no pain, accifauxpas, or injuries. Great!

I got the shaving sorted out with almost ease this morning. No droppages, and just one tiny little nick.
Time to get into the shower.
Oh, I did enjoy it. Cartilages Carole and Chloe were good to me; even Anne Gyna left me alone. (The funny bit is coming soon.)
I did have a bit of a wobble as I got the shower curtain closed. So I plopped my bottom on the shower chair, but the water was on hot and full power, and as the fluid fell on me, I was liberal with the carbolic soap wherever I could reach while sitting down. I left the water showering over me and really enjoyed it!
As usual, I reached for the grab bar from the chair to get up. The Cartilaged gals were again not pleased with being used, letting me know in their typical fashion, pain and threatening to give way. I got both hands on the grab bar just in case and hauled myself up onto my feet. That’s when it dawned on me… there’s only one way to tell you this… I felt something sharp sticking in my bum! Such a surprise that I forgot all about the Cartilage risks and groped to feel what the heck it was… do you want to guess? I’ll wait a bit if so…
It was my toothbrush!

I assume the noise I heard earlier was the toothbrush landing on the shower chair. I had to laugh!
I got on with the medicationings.
It took a while, but then, as I was told to, I dried off the catheter day bag with kitchen towels.

Carer Ejaz arrived. He did a full body check and barrier creamed my ankles and torso. Then, he issued the medications and moved on to getting my diabetic socks on. Bless him!

I’m unsure when, why or how, but I cleaned the fridge a bit. Well, I found this photo on Kodak Tim’s SD card.
Now, I recall this one.
In the red microwave bowl in the fridge, I made a mixture of Vegetable soup, pickled mushrooms, water chestnuts, garden peas, and some potatoes. I stored it for later use.
Oh, and Korean BBQ sauce with peppers, etc.

Really out of it now, for a long time.
I had recovered a smidge and was back on the blog when Carer Manpreet arrived. I had not seen her before, but that might be wrong. She’s a nice gal.

This snap was on the SD card. I know when I took it, it would have been in the afternoon while I was out of it. I think.

I added some things to tomorrow’s Iceland order. They emailed me to let me know.

I heated the food and got Milk Roll sliced bread that Jenny had given me. Bless her cotton socks.
And tucked in while watching Heartbeat on channel ITV3. Lovely!
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Another messy day.
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Cheerioski!
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Inchy Today: Sunday 18th May 2025

19/05/2025 / Inchie / 4 Comments

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I know we have done wrong to be in prison
in the first place – but we are still human
beings. Those are the damning words of
an inmate at HMP Nottingham. He says,
the reality of living in this faculty.
The prisoner, who wished to remain
anonymous, sent a handwritten letter
to Nottinghamshire Live to make people
aware of what he alleges is happening
daily within He says the prison. He and
his fellow are stuck in their cells
almost daily.
“Drug addicts have ‘spice-attacks’, there
are prisoners who are mentally ill and walk
around, taking scraps out of the bins, and
eating them while wing staff watch & laugh. According to the prisoner, officers in each
wing must do a head count of all inmates
in cells before morning and afternoon.
Association times when they are allowed
out of their cells. Responding to the claims
of a lack of support. Inmates struggling with
their mental health & alleged knife fights.
The MoJ spokesperson added: “All those
continue to have full access to NHS
healthcare, and much quicker than most
of their victims & pensioners can.
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STARMER BASHING AGAIN
Starmer’s shower seems to act qabalistically,
A new word to me means secretively,
They’ve quantity but no quality,
Living in hopes but with little reality,
Come think of it, it sounds like me!
The elections coming quadrennially,
Doing Keir’s wishes, all unpanicky!
Prices rise, fuel & food drastically,
Working on things quantificationally,
Keir’s chin sits squarely, quadratically,
On his head, doing owt he does fancy…
No MP’s object, question, or query…
Getting away with lies & puerility,
Confidently and with stunted quippery,
Voters, the King, all given piosity,
I’ve not seen any MP acting querulously!
Hiding his true aims with great perplexity,
He spits untruths without any penalty,
Changes rules & laws to suit his suitability,
Compassion? Well-insufficient, with exiguity,
Can’t even see Labour’s coming fissiparity,
I’m uneducated, but I see it with clarity,
I’d welcome back the Tory Party!
After Keirs gave the disabled, frailty.
Pensioner robbed, fears, and all financially!
Now, the voters must protest, & rally,
What’s the future for this Labour HMG?
Which other party can win convincingly?
I don’t fret too much, for this country,
It’s Armageddon that worries me!
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ANOTHER SHORT BLOG
I’ve been in and out of the extremes of moods!

He’d stay for a few minutes. Then…
would swap control of the brain for a while. During the morning, this swapping Agony-to-Joy was the routine they decided upon. These, being all short stays, were bearable.
In the afternoon, Duncan came on, and initially, it didn’t bother me too much, as I was convinced that he would soon be gone and replaced by Horis.
Oh, no! On this visit, Duncan was with me for about five hours solid! I felt awful! I was swearing and annoyed at every little thing that went wrong. I was lucky that no Carers arrived while I was feeling such emotions. (Well, Horis was nae bother, Hehe!) The next was, and still is, back to the swapping Agony-to-Joy routine. Thankfully, it returned to short episodes with more time between them calling. I was and am all over the place. Balance, Dizzies, and lousy Concentration. Made all the worse by the return of – .

At least the morning bore fruit with notes and photographs being available.
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Thanks to Grammarly, not too many cock-ups. Of course, there were plenty, but Grammarly kept picking them up for me. I hope.
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The blood was not in the urine.
It came from the wounds on the leg
when I was emptying the bag.

Huh!

I tried the same squares again. No win. I kept my average score of Zero for the week! Hehe!.

Carer Ejaz did the first call of the day.
Medications given. Diabetic socks fitted.
He also barrier-creamed the catheter tube and strap wounds on the right leg. Bless him.

Left leg on the left.
I think?
Right leg on the right.
I think?
They could have been the other way around, of course. A brief seizure while Ejaz was working on me. Come think of it, the photos might be of the same leg after all. Carer Ejaz took the clear one after seeing my bad effort; I may have accidentally deleted the good one of the other leg. I think.

The tree copse.
In the bottom field. Two boys and two girls were spread out, lying down and getting up to youngsters’ habits at 05:30hrs. I waited until later when they had gone. Jealousy!

I added some pickled lemons to the vegetable stew. The usual pickled onions, red onions, and chopped water chestnuts were added with a jar of Kung Po sauce. I grated part of the rind of a pickled lemon and added it to the mixture. I put it all in the biggest microwave bowl and fridge for later use. It was used 10 hours later.

The blood monitor was delivered. The instructions lettering was the smallest I’ve ever seen… like a row of dots. Must get help in reading them so I set it up correctly on the first try.

The longest-ever, deepest, and most massive,
,
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Anne Gyna joined in, and I lost five hours of the day.
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Carer Joe had made a call. We spoke about his going on holiday and that he should be back a week on Wednesday. What else we spoke of faded.

I recall thinking about having some alcoholic beverage drinks. No empties in the bins, so I must have been a good boy.

Carer Mizra came. And I was so confused at the time.
I may have shown her the blood monitor machine.
I was nearly confused when I thought she was doing the teatime call. It’s a good job I came around. So she took the diabetic socks off for me. I had dissolvable paracetamols and some Peptac.

Where did the day go? It was now nearly ten o’clock!
I got on with this blog ASAP. Had to rush it.

Then, I got the nosh sorted out and served it up.
Settled to watch the Match of the Day on BBC1 in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner.
Cheesey-chopped bread rolls dunked in the tasty Hung Po sauce. I could sense the tiny bit of pickled lemon skin in the background. Nice!

Returned as I was dining while watching the football.
Zzz!
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TTFNski!
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Inchy Today: Saturday 17th May 2025

17/05/2025 / Inchie / 10 Comments

MORE A REMINDER THAN CARTOON
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STOP…
Stop, but don’t do nothing…
Think: Is humankind worth saving?
Who will do the adjudicating?
Whom can we trust for officiating?
Who will reveal the declaring?
Will we decide by voting?
The leaders we’ve been electing…
Oligarchs, criminals, always lying…
I find them greedy & mind-boggling,
He seems to enjoy pensioners dying?
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When we bravely request a financial bequest,
We get a failed promise, a behest at best,
Do we vote for the least bloodthirstiest,
We settle for the best of the baddest,
We get Starmer, virtually, Labour’s baddest,
A right-winger, not a Socialist!
A taking backhanders specialist,
Who looks after his own spondulicks,
As lying PMs go, he’s the stealthiest,
Maybe he appeals to schizophrenics.
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Compassion? He hasn’t got the remotest,
Wars, hostages? He’s not worth a sausage,
He’s got his nuclear shelter radiologist,
Is earth worth saving in retrospect,
To be honest, I’ve not got the remotest,
Did you hear of the upcoming protest?
Calls for a national strike from communists,
If it’s all peaceful, I won’t object,
I liked Boris, although the slaphappiest,
Starmer? The Unsincerest!
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Can you believe Keir’s not even prosecutable?
He’s even not at all arrestable!
No chance of him being imprisonable,
He’s sacrosanct; after lying to get electable,
Takes backhanders; what a spectacle…
Clothes, cinema, tickets for Arsenal,
He’s made himself impregnable…
Other MPs’ crimes make them blackmailable,
Yet his crimes are irrefutable!
His greed & dishonesty are kenspeckle!
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A minimal in the extreme blog today

LAST NIGHT….
Early yesterday evening, to add to the crazy seizure and Ann Gyna popping into the equation, I got the same as I did last Saturday night.
A deep tiredness, depression and, most annoyingly at the time, kicked off for the first time since last Saturday. I nodded off to sleep in the c1966, £300 charity shop bought second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, even with and both giving me attention and waking me up every so often, I soon got back into bliss.
Carer Joe woke me up.
I was so wee’d-off. I couldn’t help it.
Within minutes of his departure, I nodded off again.
Mysteriously, but it suited me; never twitched again. And eased off tremendously. And I fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of the old days. Two hours later, Carer Ejaz woke me.
I WAILED WITH FRUSTRATION.
Poor Ejaz thought I was getting at him. It’s hard to explain how things can be with my conditions, and I felt guilty about the misunderstanding.
Once Ejaz departed, I felt tired and could not get back to sleep. I tried the usual: I put the TV on. Even that failed. After another fruitless hour of trying my best, I finished yesterday’s blog and started this one.
Around 04:30hrs, I felt I could get some sleep. But needed to utilise the .
As I got up, the pain from the catheter tube in Little Inchy, now leaning to the left, was agony!

I hobbled to the wet room and got myself seated. The nasal juices flowed, and it took me ages to painfully encourage the controlled evacuation to begin. A little bleeding from . I emptied the pouch into a jug for the Carer to evaluate. Then, I tackled moving the tubing and straps on the catheter in the vain hope of easing the pain. I decided to get the done, being as I was up.
Shaved first. It is not usually recommended when I feel so tired. But, foolishly, I carried on. I amassed four nicks and foolishly .
Wish I’d taken Kodak Tim 2 with me now. The sink reminded me of, erm… Psycho, I think. Haha!

Orifices scrubbed up and dried.

All the usual. Eye drops & sprays Little Inchies Lesion,
Another failed go at getting the catheter contraption tube & straps less painful.
Barrier creamed where I could reach.

I was back on the computer, fell asleep, and crumpled to the floor, landing on my left knee—now the tube and straps are even more painful.
Clamboured up using the aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner. And thought I’d stay there and get some sleep at long, long last.

That lasted a minute or so, and the landline telephone chirped up. All I could hear was some music? No idea who it was.

Carer Ejaz came in. Well, after I’d unlocked the door, I forgot to do it with the ablutions and Meds performance. A good-looking lad, he was getting some medications out of the prescription drawer in the kitchen.

I’m so tired out. Continues her milder attackd. She’s getting around a bit today. I’m unsure what happened in detail, but the worn-outness and fatigue returned just like last weekend?
Why only at weekends?
Fell asleep, Carer woke me up.
Put TV on to watch the highlight of the day.
Fantastic Result!
A WARM SMUGNESS FELT!
My hatred of Manchester City is only beaten by my Hatred of Chelsea. Naturally, my loathing of Herr Keir ‘Pensioner-Killer’ Starmer outdoes them both.
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I then proceeded to fall asleep again.
Woken by the Carer. Mizra. Who, I recall, barrier-creamed both ankles. Painkillers were given to counter the almost persistent and graded the urine for me.

I then did some work catching up on this blog.
Before getting the meal, I prepared it earlier and put it in the fridge.
Delicious!
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Inchy Today: Friday 16th May 2025

17/05/2025 / Inchie / 8 Comments

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He’s getting senile and old,
His brain needs a remould,
Mind fogs, a sort of mind mould,
Problems not faced or unresolved,
No wins or successes to behold,
Frustrations make him frampold,
His health-ailments are manifold,
His thinking capacity is caracoled!
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Things were as bad as last September,
Albeit they are mayhap a bit bleaker,
Medications similar, Warfarin, a Beta-blocker,
For his dodgy ticker and Anne Gyna,
Took Durvalumab for bladder cancer,
Cut out Morphine, for that I’m gladder,
New seizures? They make me sadder,
The ankle growths tend to blister.
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As each day progresses, I feel browbeaten,
But thank heavens I’m not bed-ridden!
The seizures now come in a different combination,
Politics? No morals, just commercialisation,
Self-profit and wealth, greed, exploitation,
My legs & ankles have pustulation,
My mind’s full of fear & procrastination,
Political actions are mostly an abomination!
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I loath oligarchs, politicians & the aristocratic,
Arithmophobia, now I fear arithmetic,
Although I’m also dyscalculic & diplegic,
Many folks are worse off; some blind, paraplegic…
I think this might be prophetic or pathetic,
I’ve invented a word, Whoopsiedangleplopic!
When having an electroencephalographic,
To describe my life, my biographic
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Today was an up-and-down mess.
He kicked off early, and I thought he may have been with me in my sleep. He seemed deeply ingrained.
I took an early morning shot with Kodak Tim 2.

Then took over.
Followed without any logical reason, by chirpy , all my worries floated away. Then, varying types and lengths of seizures.
This pattern went on for the rest of the day. Well, up until now, at least (15:00hrs).
My concentration suffered later when I started doing the Ode, and it worsened. Oh, heck!

The JS order arrived. Ejaz put on my socks, and medications were issued. I had changed the catheter contraption back to the left leg. Ejaz put on the fresh pouch and straps for me. He did a good job. The ankles were looking much calmer this morning. Ejaz still put some barrier cream on them for me.
The scars left on top of the left leg by the catheter day bag still needed attention.
Later in the day, I felt the right leg day pouch to assess if it was filling up. I was a smidge concerned at all the water I’d been drinking, and the bag didn’t feel as if anything had got through to it. I decided to investigate and pulled up a long Yaohuole. I did feel like an idiot!
I’d forgotten that I’d moved it back to the left leg!

Carer Joe did the early afternoon call. No meds were needed. But I took some Peptac later.

Now, Anne Gyna is playing me up. The mini-seizures have been uncountable, but I think most were short. The two extremes of and continue to keep swapping control of my emotions. Scary, really!

Going to get something to eat now while I’m on a high. I bet you by the time I’ve cooked and readied it,
will be back.
I hate it when this happens.

Best Nosh All Month!
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👍🏻 Keep Well, & Happy! 👍🏻
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Inchy Today: Thursday 15th May 2025

16/05/2025 / Inchie / 6 Comments

OLD STARMER FUN CARTOON
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I thought I’d discovered a way of saving the photographs without CorelDraw cutting me off. I had to use the old CorelDraw; the new version, which cost nearly £400, is not letting me export or save.
After 6 hours of importing photos one at a time and saving them individually, I found out that CorelDraw would not let me save anything in the old version! It kept either freezing or closing down on its own accord. I had to keep stopping for Ejaz’s call. Ejaz got the bags for me in the kitchen when the food delivery arrived. Issued the medications, put the diabetic socks on for me, and Barrier creamed the bleeding thigh. Then, it took me a long time to put the fodder away. A good job that I was up earlyish, and got the ablutions and torso-medicationings done. Eyes, ears, toothache tincture and shaved without a single cut! Smug-Mode-Utilised.
Back to the computer. It closed down on me twice and froze on me three times. By the time I’d got the photos from yesterday in the WP gallery, with interruptions, I’d been at it for eight hours!
After all that effort, I hope I can get them off the gallery to go in without any more cock-ups! Ah, well, here I go… Oh, dear, the second Carer call is due anytime now. I’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck?
No, don’t waste your breath. Haha!

Just some of the clothing that no longer fits me. Taken in mid-clear-up.
This rack was chocker-block full. At least Joe saved some for me after checking if they should fit onto my chunky, whacking great, super-duper-sized, walloping, cyclopean, elephantine body. Not many!
The rail racking had even less that would fit!
Two 60-litre waste bags full of unfitting clothing were packed and ready to be picked up by Carer Joe later. Joe made a funny quip after we stopped to get the laundry sorted out. I think I said about the drier?
“When Gerry looked after, in despair…
His clothes racks were bare!”
Hehehe!

I had three messages, well, phone calls that I’d had; One from the medics, One that I couldn’t decipher, one that I couldn’t hear from the Doctor’s surgery. This one said, “You’ve contacted the Doctor to ask for a home visit, didn’t you?” I vaguely remember Carer Joe calling them to get an appointment. He may have asked if a home visit was available. I asked him to ring back later. Carer Jazz came, not Joe, so the confusion may have developed because Ejaz didn’t ask. Then, I later got a call from the matron, but I couldn’t recall what it was about.
Ejaz said I have to call Matron Jackie. That’s all on the note he left.

Back to the plot, I got a bit off-kilter there. Sorry.

Oh, I nearly forgot to put the meal photos on.
Roasted some potatoes in the oven.
Mixed then in the ready meal.
Got them into the oven.
Just out of the microwave.
A darned decent tasty flavour!
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I stirred back into the offendedness of life’s miserable existence. I was worried. About the CorelDraw farce, the computer blue screen of death comes up. The bank balance received by text has never been lower since 1980!
I’m confused by all the medical messages I’m getting and blown away by how many helpers suddenly come in. It baffles me when someone mentions something from a few days ago, and I cannot determine its concerns. I vaguely get partial memories come back, but they make things worse and worry me all the more. I’m waffling again, aren’t I? I’m well-versed and pretty good at that!

I was in the wet room by about 05:15hrs.
As I stripped off, I realised I had only had one mini-seizure in an hour, and more importantly, I was not in any depression! Yet with all the extra bothers, confusion and misleading medical mayhem, I had good reason to be feeling down – but I wasn’t!
Only the other day, when I had a mother of Deep , I couldn’t think why.
The opposite happened this morning. I thI’veI’ve worked out why. It is when the reasons for a depression weigh heavily on me I can go into a sort of, well, ‘Sod-it, I can’t win!’ mode. Sometimes, how I feel now is the reason. Or maybe not.

I tried the tricks explained earlier to get CorelDraw to permit me to save and store things. I lost hours and hours as CorelDraw froze or crashed repeatedly. No, I’ve written that already, I think.
The shaving was back near to normal this morning. Three nicks, a dropped razor, and the aftershave Brut bottle. There were no other injuries, though. Unless you count when on leaving the wet room, I shoulder-charged the edge of the doorframe. Although that didn’t actually hurt much, it started off that did hurt a bit. She’ll have my shoulder socket ball out one of these flipping days! Hehe!
The only thing that bothered me was that had returned. I won’t complain; she has given me several days of rest. I’ve missed her roaming stabbing pains. Secretly, whenever she attacks, I try to guess where she’ll hit me next time. Areas so far that have felt her wrath: Neck, jaw, shoulders, arms, back, or, even occasionally, the upper abdomen. That’s her favourite attack route for me. Her abdominal playground is under one arm and around the other. She rarely gets me there. (Just watch how things go now that I’ve just said that!)

Ah, much better!

The part-mystery of this note has been solved.
The surgery receptionist called me on the mobile, so it was not easy to hear her, but she was patient with her patients. Hehe! She made the appointment for my yearly Health Check (shown earlier), but I am not concentrating well today. Nothing new there, then. For Thurs, May 29th, a home visit! Great!

Had an early meal tonight. Salad.
A sliced baked potato and tomato (Dutch), caramelised beetroot, and red onions (tasty!). With some Milk Roll sliced bread slathered with the gorgeously tasty No Butter, Butter (by Flora). The only let-down was the so-called Mature Cheddar cheese. I’ve tasted tastier newspapers! But all the rest of the dish made was up for this, somewhat.
As a warning to any UK mild, insipid cheese-lovers, it was Cathedral City Mature. If you happen to like tasteless, weak, bland, pale, uncrumbly, rubbery cheddar, this is the brand for you!

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CHEERS MIDDEARS!
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Inchy: Wednesday 14th May 2025

15/05/2025 / Inchie / 4 Comments

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First time in Parliament? Expect irregularities,
Want to accustomise? First, you should acclimatise…
Be the awarest, awesomest, & awfullest,
Knowing your foe’s weaknesses can only be wise,
Also, consider if you really do realise…
You need to know your foe’s atmospherics,
Beware the ethereal, but listen to their fallacies,
It’s essential to avoid verbal catch-22s,
Ignore the incompatibilities, self-contradictions,
Their abnormalities and ambiguities…
Lies, debasements, and talking contradictorily,
They use these cons daily, customarily,
Use reverse psychology on Keir’s bootlickers,
Digressions and deviancies are expectednesses!
<<<<>>>>
Protect yourself, avoid the moral shanghaier,
You can’t miss him, the PM, Keir Starmer,
To gain faith, become a backhander…
He likes Arsenal, cash and things ocular,
Look left, right, you’ll see a thimblerigger,
Starmer’s lies shoot out sort of spicular,
Just sit there looking nowhere in particular,
You’ll be surrounded by psychobabblers,
You’ll be increasing your cash in your coffers,
Your unchecked expenses for acupuncture…
Toilet rolls, lipstick, maybe garden furniture,
Computer… owt to increase your filthy lucre,
If, by chance, you got in under Labour,
Keir will let you catch hylomania!
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Manky day.
6 stitches.
CorelDraw charged me £345 + VAT for the new version. Why can’t I get any help with these things?
I loaded CorelDraw—and it crashed! I can’t save or export anything. I took eight photographs and doctored them before discovering this wayward glitch. They are gone forever.

I wish I was.

Two phone calls from the surgery, but I only understood one of them.

The laundry room dryer was packed up. Joe, on his way, put them in a different dryer. He had to go down to collect them, and I took a tumble, bending down in the dryer and picking up socks. I think I dropped more socks than there were in the drying. I guess I’ve become an addicted sock-dropper?

My leg growths were bleeding when I took an earlier tumble while sorting out the clothes not needed in the junk room.

Broken-hearted, what a bloody day!

I finally got some food at 22:00 hrs. I can’t use or publish any more graphics or photographs, but I have some old ones I might use. I’m fed up with the mangled, broken, toothache-ridden back teeth.

Lower than I’ve felt for years now.

More medical callers, and a food order tomorrow. But I’ll try my best to get CorelDraw working. Or, I’ll find time to sort out a ploy to get around the problem. Possibly a smidge of blind hope?

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TTFN
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Inchy Today: Tuesday 13th May 2025

14/05/2025 / Inchie / 14 Comments

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SMUG-MODE ENGAGED
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Thinking!
Thinking back, I began to hallucinate,
Here, giving me a cuddle, was Auntie Kate,
I guess I beginning, starting to levitate…
Floating back in time, young again, lanate,
Grizelda began to maxilate…
Fondle, hugging me, & to mussitate,
We did things considered misappropriate,
Guilt? I no longer felt, nor was I novitiate,
Freedom, my thoughts no longer obdurate,
Physical ailments began to obfuscate,
Gawd, this illusion is super-great!
Am I dead? A ghost, or maybe a wraith?

Am I being given a forecast or a prophecy?
Am I dead or alive? I viewed this whimsically,
May I be en route to see St. Peter?
I’ve paid my debts! Rent or electricity,
Why do I sense that I’m feeling guilty?
Is this a dream, a seizure or a Whoopsie?
Griselda is still toying pleasurably with me,
I no longer feel elderly, tired or weary!
Under my bed is now a guzzunder,
I’ve not seen one of these since 1953,
What year is it? I don’t feel at all distressingly?
The sky and globe have turned all yellowy…
Opaque, angels, pink clouds, worryingly…
St. Peter has not yet greeted me!

Am I getting sillier? I feel more cheerier!
Is this an end-of-life bamboozler?
Wherever I am, it feels cosier,
I suppose it should, being free of Starmer?
Yes, I must have died; I’ve never been happier,
Oh, here’s a transparent cheerleader…
Glittering eyes, big bust, much curvature,
Ah, she’s just been attacked by Grizelda,
Maybe because she gave me a sly twire?
Heaven or Hell, I feel much toeier…
No bother from Gladys Glaucoma,
Arthur Itis, Shaking Shoulder or Anne Gyna,
Grizelda’s back, with handcuffs and a tether…
Prompting movement in the tallywhacker!

Well, I’m interested and acquiescing,
A billion-long queue of souls is forming,
Grizelda & me at the end, that’s galling,
It’s for St. Peter’s gate, I’m assuming,
For questioning and allocating…
Heaven or Hell’s door selecting?
Grizzly said, there’s a third door we might be using!
I asked for what? This is so confusing,
That’s for souls picked to be returning…
The answer was more than terrifying,
Sent back to earth, that’ll be intimidating!
For those chosen, Starmer will be waiting,
Still be cheating, lying, stealing & killing…
I suddenly came out of my daydreaming,
Starmer is still in power; it’s heartbreaking!
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This morning, I kept waking up at 04:00hrs.
Repeated this action endless times before nodding off again into a deep sleep.
I was woken up at about 07:30hrs. By Carer Ejaz. Who told me it had taken him about ten minutes to wake me up! I swiftly fell asleep again. Ejaz was concerned when I sat up and grabbed my lower belly in response to aches and pains. None were awful, but they remained for a few hours after Ejaz had gone.
As Ejaz was issuing the medications, apparently, I nodded off again!
I did not move from the bed during Ejaz’s visit. He removed the nocturnal catheter bag and applied Barrier cream to the leg-strapping wounds. They were much less bothersome and painful this morning. Being in bed for such a long time made the base of my sternum far more sore than it was yesterday, but the wounds looked better. Ejaz took this photo of the catheter contraption for me. I got the diabetic socks put on for me. Ejaz lost some time with having to rouse me. And I had to shoot off; I’d not moved during his visit.

When Ejaz left, I fell asleep yet again! Hence, there was little time to catch up or much photographicalisation today.

When I finally gingerly got up on my feet, my stomach ache steadily improved. But my concentration was not good at all.

I got on the computer, and the catheter pouch filled shortly after. When I went to empty it, the tube on the release valve was not there, making many messy emptyings throughout the day. I searched the flat, thinking it must have come off when Ejaz emptied it. He usually does not take it off. Sometimes, he’ll put it on. After failing to find the tube, I thought he might have pulled it off when he removed the nocturnal bag. He then put it in the kitchen rubbish bag, which has since been put down the waste chute. So, I’ll struggle on. Let’s face it, I’m good at struggling. Hehehe!

I was prepping to get today’s Ode started. But feeling better in myself now. Then…
I found I’d left the damned hot water tap running again. How many times in two days? Three, I think!

A massive vagueness overcame me. It stayed visiting me until about 16:00hrs. It was in full flow when Carer Joe called around 13:15hrs. I’m unsure what we spoke about other than Joe’s plans to start sorting the clothes in the junk room tomorrow. So, maybe there will not be a blog for tomorrow, for the first time since I was in hospital in 2007. I think, but thinking is no longer a strong point for me. Hehe!

I took this snap on the left from the kitchenette window. I remembered to cause
I knocked a jar of mushroom ketchup off the window ledge, and it landed on my .
Not that it bothered me at all. I merely laughed it off and started singing to myself.
Then, I took another memory, prompting a snap of my beloved tree copse. I may have used the wrong photo here, or the computer posted the wrong one? Anyway, taking this snap hurt me more than the toe incident.

Then I realised that the sun covering Khagoule had fallen into the water jug on the floor.
So, I had to hang it on the shower curtain in the wet room to help it dry out. I also turned on the heater to encourage it to dry.

I visited the Porcelain Throne as well. Trotsky Terence was in control.
It was a messy job that took a long time because there was no hot water. Did I mention I’d left the hot tap running earlier?

The sun died temporarily while I was fetching water from the kettle, and walking with the walking stick was a bit risky.

I got some potatoes into the slow cooker that I forgot to tell you about earlier. 08:00hrs approximately) There are no secrets on this WordPress blog, Inchy Today!

I’m back on this blog after checking, updating and posting yesterday’s post to WordPress. Then, I started on this post.

I’ll check the potatoes. This is going to be a long job. Turn them (if ready), put them in the basin, bash them up, add no-butter butter, sea salt, Worcestershire, and Soy sauce, and then the tricky bit: grate and mix in Leicester cheese. Put the mixture in the oven and cook until the top has crispened. Prep[ping took me 35 minutes, and the washing things up after took me over half an hour.
I pray I don’t let them burn… Please!

It took me hours to get the potatoes sorted and mashed with the shredded Leicester cheese and red onions. I found evidence in the morning, blood on the fridge door that indicated a cut thumb or fingernail) I washed the pots and put the dish into the oven to crisp it up nicely. This usually takes a good half-hour. Here it is before cooking.
Carer Joe arrived as I was putting it in.
Medications issued. Joe said we would start sorting out tomorrow in the junk room. He’ll take the laundry down to the washer, come back, and we can sort the clothes out. This will free up many coat hangers. Because there are so many trousers, jumpers, shirts, and coats that no longer fit me. They don’t call me Mr Blobby for no reason, you know. Haha! He should have time to nip down, get the laundry in the dryer, and dry it for once. Joe’s got it all organised beforehand, which is a great help.

The potatoes were removed from the oven and put on a tray with some bread. I added some cut tomatoes, and I settled into the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner to watch an episode of my favourite, ‘Heartbeat’, on the TV to eat the meal.
It took me a while to eat it all, but I did!
Then, heaven… Zzz!
Carer Ejaz woke me up two hours later.
He removed my diabetic socks and mended the nocturnal catheter-damaged day bag. He also added a tube from another point to the current one. I checked the kitchen and bathroom and got my head down, but I forgot to put the nocturnal catheter pouch on. It’s hard to believe, I know.

So, when I was woken up by the pain from poor Little Inchie being tugged on with the weight as the pouch filled up, I had to get up to empty the pouch post-haste. Could I get back to sleep? No!

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But it didn’t Bother Me, Hehe!
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Inchy Today: Monday 12th May 2025

13/05/2025 / Inchie / 8 Comments

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In this Ode, I’ll not mention Starmer,
See that? I’m already a proven liar!
I’m not an activator, actuator or advocator,
Believing once Labour got in power…
It would be a poor man’s financial alleviator,
Not a disabled and pensioner aggravator!
Nor a doom and gloom annunciator,
Our future has never been bleaker,
I don’t trust the HMG, MP, PM or speaker,
Labour: experts in taking a backhander,
I could kick him up his detrusor…
Jinx or hex him; it’d be my pleasure!
My loathing gets ever deeper,
Keir’s decisions get even creepier,
Voters crumbling-hopes get damneder,
His clever use of semi-lies & implicature…
Prevents prosecution… he is a barrister!
Who freed child killers & an axe murderer,
He’s responsible for killing off many a pensioner,
Bankrupting the family farmer…
Feathering his own nest, a meshuggener?
The man is a nihilist, self-profit-seeking,
His expense claims: do they need questioning?
No doubt about it, he’s a naysayer,
He’s likely suffering from peniaphobia,
Scared to death of becoming a pauper,
With brain cells ever working, reticular,
I noticed he’s also a slangwhanger,
He’s earned an early sepulchre,
The slower & more painful, the better!
I may sound like a hard-done-to squaller,
These odes prove I’m a schlepper…
With Starmer being a snollygoster,
He commits crimes, lies & sclaunder…
He gets away with it; that’s spectacular!
That’s because he was a high-class lawyer,
The perfect con man & thimblerigger,
As a PM, naturally, he’s titular,
He got elected because he’s a liar,
Two-faced, deceitful, a conniver,
A guilty promise-breaker
An oathed decision reverser,
A farmer & pensioner depriver,
One other thing in particular,
He also got, is, uranomania!
Divinity? He believes it! Hehehe!
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05:20hrs: I shot out of bed and leapt over the second-hand shop bought nine years ago for £300, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner. Doing a backward summersault, landing face down, and after doing a few hundred press-ups…
It’s no good; I’m such a terrible fibber!
I inched my legs off of the bed. The catheter contraption straps were painful this morning. I detached the nocturnal catheter bag and rose rather too quickly to get the cream and rub some on the leg straps on the leg. I fell backwards on the corner of the bed and felt bleeding.
So, with the bum and top of the leg bleeding, I hobbled into the kitchen to check the taps and stove initially. But I got sidetracked when I saw the amazingly clear sky. I got Kodak Tim Two and took this snap of the clouds. Then, I took another wider shot. The Sun was already beginning to come through from behind and causing a mist on the horison.

I went to the wet room, where I decided to tend to the mess before applying the barrier cream. I cleaned the few teeth I had left and used the mouthwash. I then realised I had not put in the hearing aids. So, I went to fetch and fit them to see if anyone should call early. With the hearing aids in, I heard a strange noise from the kitchen—a tinkling sound.
Yee Gods! The fourth time in three days! Grrr!
Luckily, it had not been running too long, and the hot water was still reasonably hot enough for me to get the shaving done.
Get ready for this, folks… Dang dang, dang, Dang!
Not a single nick, let alone cut shaving!
A fair bit of medicationings was needed. But I’ve had worse, so no complaints.
Cleaned the glasses. Did a hearing aid battery check. Olive oiled the earholes. Dry eye spray was used. Then, the Blepharitis gel. Phorpain gelled both of Arthur Itis’s knees. Both cartilages, Chloe & Carole, are at the back of the knees. I barrier creamed my armpits, underneath my man breasts and groin, paying careful attention to SOSTH (Spanish Onion Sized Testicle Henry). Below my bulging belly, my still bleeding rear-end sternum. Germolened both ankle ulcers. Then, I got new straps onto the catheter contraption. Barrier creamed them before fitting. Then I tackled .
I’m using the new-to-me Terbinafine hydrochloride cream. I’m also applying the new dropper before the much-feared pain of rubbing it in Med Hydr I can assure you that it was thrown in the waste bin! I’ll never use that again! I shall stick with Betamethasone in the future, even if I have to buy it. Too Painful? YES! This session took a long time to complete. Of course, getting the Protection Pants on was the usual farce. Do they make anything similar to the ones on the right here? It’s suitable that I should put him on the right. Because he’s the most Tory-like Labour Prime Minister ever! Hahaha!

As I noticed the Prison alarm was flashing last night, I didn’t expect to see it again this morning. I got Kodak Tim x2 and took this very poor close as I could get to it to take a snap of the Alarm Flashing (Escaped Prisoner). But it had stopped by the time I’d prattled about to get the shot. Just my luck not to have taken it earlier. Tsk!
Carer Ejaz arrived. Bless him.
I told them of whatever they were last night, which left me in a time-lapse, confused and nervous.
The lad listened. He then sorted out my NHS breakfast.
Then, Ejaz barrier-creamed where I could not reach, mainly my feet, ankles, and back. Next, he put my diabetic socks on my feet for me.
Then he did a quick hoovering around for me. Bless him.

I got tucked into creating today’s Anti-Starmer Ode.
I was about half an hour into it, and the intercom chimed out. It was Matron. She measured me up for the wheelchair setting up. Checked my BP returns, and I waffled on about last night’s time-warping and total confusion. She reminded me to make sure I got an appointment with the Doctor. I explained that only when the Carer is on a Wednesday and Joe is prepared to go with me. Joe will remember and explain things better than I could on my own.
I think other things were discussed. Yes, Matron Jackie will ask the Doctor if I can have an oxygen level monitor. I have no idea what that actually means. I’ll look it up on Mr. Google.

Back to the Ode writing.

A series of mini-seizures came over the next few hours. Kyboshed my creativity and concentration.

Carre Joe arrived. He thinks I may have been falling asleep, which is a possibility. However, I was getting many feelings of dizziness, and my eyes seemed foggy for a few minutes, which I usually put down to my coming out of a seizure. Who knows? Not me!

Carer Ejaz made the next call. Socks taken off. Medications were issued. We had a little natter, and he was in a rush but asked if he could take my photo with my sunglasses on. Well, ever the budding model, I agreed. A handsome-looking brute! Hahaha!

I showed my prepared-earlier nosh in the microwave pot. Ejaz took a photo of that as well! He shot off after that.

I got the Ode finished and into the blog.

I went to the kitchen to ensure I’d not left anything unsafe. I put the potatoes in the dish and put them into the microwave oven.

Boy, what a view I took in these snaps of the quickly disappearing Sun. Bootiful!

Amazing Night Glow!
Then, a closer shot.
I think the eyes of the Sun were
from some trees on the horizon.
GREAT!

It’s late now, and the spuds are in the oven. I’m giving up on the blog, but the meal tempts me!
The Morrisons bread rolls were tasteless and tough.
Everything else was gorgeous!

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Here’s a four-leaf clover
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Inchy: Sunday 11th May 2025

12/05/202512/05/2025 / Inchie / 9 Comments

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Into power Starmer did hurdle,
Now, we await his downward hurtle,
He looks mundane, boring and sensible,
Proved winning power was accomplishable,
At lying, he’s fluently forked-tongueable,
Truth to him is customisable,
Like his excuses, taking treats from Arsenal,
Despite his proving to be adorkable,
His stealing from pensioners was awful!
To him, greed & dishonesty is normal,
I’m in decrial; he has my disapproval…
Unfortunately, he’s unremovable,
Despite his dishonesty & being dubitable,
Despite proving to be adorkable,
Taking backhanders, & acquisitional,
I’m bald, but he makes my hair bristle!
I’d like to meet him, in a quiet twitchel…
To declare my feelings, which are emotional,
I stew in hatred, sink into a dwall,
All I can do is write anti-Starmer doggerel!
The scum-ball makes me so epithetical,
I’ve never known a PM so pathetical…
I hope his reign will be expediential,
This Labour party; can it be extirpable?
To socialism, he’s not endemical,
His policies seem enigmatical,
I can’t see a party that could be a rival.
Tories? Sunak turned them suicidal,
LibDems and Greens, both hopeful,
Reform, a far-right furuncle?
Starmer’s a bully, so says his uncle,
Words not to describe Keir? Affable & merciful,
Starmer’s end may be happenstantial!
Send a bottle of gin laced with weedkiller?
Naughty, but I’d like to see his funeral,
I’d love to be there at his beheadal,
Good heavens, I brought on a smile!
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Labour admits disability cuts will force 250,000 people (including 80,000 children & pensioners) into poverty.

Keir Starmer’s Labour Government are cutting almost £ 5 billion from the Welfare budget via targeted attacks on the sick and disabled. This will include excluding young disabled people (aged 18–21) from incapacity benefits. This “Spring Statement” has finally revealed the Labour Government’s impact statement. It says that more than 1,000,000 disabled people will lose their disability benefits.

The Labour attack on disability benefits will ultimately push 250,000 people (including 50,000 children) into poverty. It’s a sickening and frightening situation for hundreds of thousands of disabled Brits.

Awful.
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04:14hrs: Sorted the catheter contraption bags.

Carer Ejaz appeared as I was starting the computer.
He did a good job. He medicated the catheter strap wounds and those on the left wrist and arm.
Then, I put on the diabetic socks. Ejaz graded the nocturnal catheter wee-wee. He quickly checked the torso for bruises and creamed a couple of them.
He checked the taps and stoves and reported that I’d left the hot water tap running. Tsk!

So, no ablutions were able to be done this morning! But the first call to the wetroom.

Took this snap…
Just as Cartilage Chloe gave way, I hit my elbow on the way down against the radiator.
Landing on Cartilage Carole’s right knee, the strap on the catheter contraption shot off, and the tube gave poor Little Inchie a hell of a tug! Naturally, I just laughed it off.
Getting into the other room on all fours was painful, as I was trying to hold onto the loose strap to prevent another tugging session!
Naturally, I just laughed it off.
After what felt like an hour or more, I had to leave the walking stick behind. I got to the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner.
Naturally, I just laughed it off.
Hauling my flobby-wobbly body up onto the recliner, I twisted to get myself to sit down. I soon recovered enough, rose gingerly onto my feet, and hobbled back to the kitchen to get the walking stick. I pressed on… – right against the ingrowing toenail again!
Naturally, I just laughed it off.
After giving off a howl, growl, and a bit of swearing, I reclaimed the walking stick.
I caught the wristlet alarm and set it off!
Naturally, I just laughed it off.
A few fibs above, I believe!

I took this snap and sat down for some R&R.

Carer Joe woke me for the early afternoon call. Not that I could recall much about it.

I sat down again, nibbled some crisps, and returned to the computer.

I heard the intercom chiming and got up to find it was Carer Rosma. The watch told me it was eight o’clock. Which my befuddled brain thought was in the morning. (I now know it was evening), and I did not have the medications? I thought that Carer Rosma had got the time wrong.
I’m not sure what happened there, but I did post Saturday’s blog and started on this without recalling doing either!
Seizures? Effects of the tumble? Arithmaphobia? Did I fall asleep? Ménière’s disease? FND?

Very few photos were taken. Oh, dearie me

The notepad had a fair bit of scribble, with very little being decipherable.

Community Nurse Rebbeca on her unexpected visit. She checked the cartilage strappings. She said, “If you have any trouble, call me.” What about? A total mystery to me. I didn’t get any Warfarin because I thought it was morning and had a vague recollection, which I put on the blog earlier, that Carer Joe had been. A worrying episode!
I must remember to ask Joe about it in the morning or whenever he calls. And add it to the Doctor problems to take with us during the appointment.

Honestly, I can’t recall taking these incredible clouds

I went to look for what to have for my meal and found I’d made a microwave meal and put it in the fridge. I’m a bit concerned now.

No wash or shave. Lost hours in the day. Took a tumble. Left the hot water tap running. Exceedingly weird seizures and loss of time & events.

I’ll get the fodder from the fridge and hopefully catch up in the morning.

For the first time, I was uneasy about my new form of complete time confusion, and realising it was morning when it was night took me a long time. Time, clock, and numbers could indicate that my arithmaphobia is getting more severe. Sorting out the memory timewise almost hurt my brain. I kept skipping between the believed wrong time and returning to the present, inevitably suffering another trip out of the real-time zone repeatedly. And momentarily, if not for longer. I felt positive I was in the correct period. This made working things out even harder. Hopefully, a nurse or even the Doctor may read this, appreciate the severity and the worry it brings, and get me an earlier appointment to see the Doctor.

In the morning, I tried to explain the time discrepancies to Carer Ejaz as best I could.
I’m not convinced he cottoned onto what I was saying. No feedback.

Bean stew with added pickled water chestnuts and brown gungo beans.
TASTY!

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TTFNski!
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Inchy: Saturday 10th May 2025

11/05/2025 / Inchie / 8 Comments

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I didn’t particularly run, more absquatulated,
The plans for the attack were soon abrogated,
The CO’s plans seemed so distorted, aberrated…
2nd Corp was soon abscinded,
The enemy got so aggravated…
Our armour arrived, defences were annihilated,
Remnants withdrew, not chicken-hearted,
Their ammunition, fuel, expended…
We were welcomed and adulated,
Winners, victors, it’s complicated,
Yet war is not globally hated?
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05:30 hrs: I had a verbal and emotional argument with myself. The Inchy part of me wanted to get up and do the ablutions and medicationings, then get onto the computer and try to catch up with my blogging. However, the other, being in residence in my brain (EQ Inchie), wanted only to give up and stay in the comfortable, snug bed to try to get back to sleep again. We both partly agreed with the other.
As we argued, we removed the nocturnal bag from the day pouch, and things turned unwanted! A bit of panic as a rear-end evacuation started on its own accord – I fumbled my way to the wet room.

Carer Ejaz treated the catheter contraption
wounds and bruises.

Kitchen view.

Sweetcorn fritters were put in the oven.
20 minutes of cooking time.
Two hours later, I took the burnt food from the stove and threw it away.
Tsk!