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The power of Hope, an emotional force that instils meaning,
Optimism, anticipation, aspiration, and yearning…
While all around us, people are killing and demeaning,
Oligarchs, their reasons for existence are self-prospering,
Power, ruling, financial gain, self-wealth accumulating,
What percentage of their profit are they donating?…
To war victims, innocents, to stop the war’s killing?
The dying, homeless, blind, diseased and starving?
Selling rockets, tanks, ammunition, to powers warring!
There are those out there, I’m always applauding…
Greenpeace, RSPCA, the NHS, all financially-struggling, 
Gangsters so violent, mugging, drug-selling & taking,
Burgling, carjacking, stabbing, and shooting,
Our PM has been pensioners & farmers robbing,
Former barrister? That’s why he’s an Ace at lieing,
His porkie-pies have been amassing,
I’m looking towards his passing…
To Heaven or Hell, I’ll be happy death-knelling

Today was another cock-up ridded, frustrating mess of a day. I am now even further behind with everything than I ever have been. With little sleep last night, I’m not feeling up to my usual blog writing, which I really enjoy. I’ll skip many things, but try to mention the calamities and frustrations.

I Fank You!

Woke up, made some pots, and had some Detox tea; the bruised leg had improved no end. Anne Gyna was kind, but Toothache Tiffany countered that a bit today.

Carer Nimra got the diabetic socks on my feet, gave me the medication, and did the following two calls. Lunch, then at teatime.

A District nurse called to check on my leg. No need for any plasters, she said, but left one just in case it leaked again. I apologised for bothering her.

A MAMMOTH SEIZURE.
I had no idea what I was doing while out of it, but things had changed from their previous state, and I’d taken off my protective underpants. Left the hot water tap running. I found that my fungal lesion was bleeding. What the heck had I been doing?

The Iceland delivery arrived.
The driver was not in a good mood. My EQ told me something was annoying him.
It was a large order.
Managed to get some bleach at last.
Best chips available.

Snapped the end car park after I’d got the delivery stored away.

Got into blogging.

Nimra made a call.

I checked the leg-damaging machine on the balcony. I tried to figure out how to turn the feet thingies inwards, but no luck.

THEN, I COULDN’T BELIEVE THE ABSOLUTELY STUPID THING THAT I’D DONE!
A second duplicate order arrived from Iceland!
I reckon the driver knew about this earlier, and that’s why he was so pissed-off with me.
Positively anti-social this visit!
Depression Darius Dawned, and I just couldn’t think what made me order two for the same day?
Kirchen towels galore, now.
Even more mineral and soda waters!
The fridge filling was a work of art, but I still couldn’t fit everything in!
I was ashamed and angry at myself at the same time.
I rang Jenny and asked her to take some of the duplicated dated items and issue them to whoever wanted them. Iced coffees galore as well. Breads, croissants, etc.
I was feeling really down and lacking confidence now! I took the carrier of food down to Jenny’s apartment. Guess what?
I got out of the lift on the wrong floor! Not that it bothered me so much, but it was the continuation of errors that got to me. I rang Jenny’s bell and handed her the carrier bag, explaining that I had got out of the lift on the wrong level. She smiled and said she did that as well. Hehe! She is a treasure.🤎

I got back to my cell… I mean, flat, to find that this time I’d left the cold water tap running!

What next, I thought; I’ll tell you…
I was back on the computer, having accomplished so little, and all the time was lost due to my own incredulity. Scepticism and doubt about my errors, along with worry over my future.
I can’t go on like this. I’m praying someone from Social Services calls or reads this blog. I need help.

Carer Nimra made her last call. I told her of my rotten day. That did nothing solution-wise, of course.

SHIT!
The long standing prob;;em of shortage o memoru came up again Nagkrangles!

Computer gone so slow,
Telling me various things will no longer be able to be saved or stored?

I may be on my last blog, so I’ll try to save it and send it.
Otherwise, it’s all a waste of time; no one will know. Cheers

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++ THE ANATOMY OF INSANITY ++
So many folk bear insanity, unknowingly…
Some will turn a blind eye, denyingly,
Recognising insanity shows not negativity…
Welcoming it shows a certain peculiarity,
It’s known as bonkersness, characteristically,
It can test your brain’s battery and vulnerability,
Robbing you of your perceptivity & sensibility,
First, it tries your short-term memory…
Long-term stuff, will have some accessibility…,
Naturally, this is only initially,
But it gets worse when you get near 90,
I’ll not mention the body’s lack of controllability,
Some folks can get an amygdalotomy…
But only royalty, politicians & the Oligarchy,
But it costs way too much for the likes of you & me,
Don’t call it madness, but instead, cerebropathy,
It starts for most affected people, grimly…

Your loss of memory will come under self-scrutiny,
“I forgot I’d made that cup of tea!”
“Where was I going? Ooops, I was going for a pee.”
“Damn it, left the hot tap running, silly me!”
“Didn’t get to the bog on time – diarrhoea, messy!”
“Missing words off, can’t spell, missing an apostrophe!”
“Thank heavens I paid a fortune for Gammarly!”
“Forgetting where you were going in the hallway!”
“Missing appointments, with neurololgy…”
“The dentist, optician, and Doctor Finlay”
“The Bank, Phlebotomy & Cardiology!”
“Burnt my dinner, no food for Inchie!”
“Why am I in the lift?” You ask bemusedly,”
“Fridge freezer door left open, you curse angrily!”
“Toenail cutting? £35 quid it costs me”,
“Huh, cartilage bother, arthritis, & acne!”
“Cathetered, cancer & Peripheral Neuropathy”,
“Seizures, tumbles, dead hearing aid battery”.

05:00hrs: I shot awake and checked out how I was mentally. Not bad, so no seizures suffered this morning. I grudgingly, unwillingly, hesitantly and cautiously moved the legs off of the bed. Great, Cartilage Chloe & Carol were no bother. Dizzy Dennis, Lost-Balance-Belinda, Jerking-Neck-Nigel, and Reflux Roger, along with many others, were being kind to me this Friday morning. But… Anne Gyna and Toothache Tiffany were a different kettle of fish. Both continued to bother me intermittently throughout the day.

Still, you can’t expect to win them all, can yer? I took Codeine before even taking off the night catheter pouch, such was the pain from Tiffany’s toothache.

The pouch is removed and left for the Carer to assess the grading colour upon arrival. Not much urine was passed last night.

I put the Codeine box back on the crowded Carers’ desk, and saw how dark it was outside. I meandered to the kitchen to take a snap of the view.
Not a good effort, then again, I’ve been making lots of them lately.

A sudden movement and a gurgling from the innards sent me, with some haste, (I nearly dropped the walking stick), to the wet room and the . Just as well I didn’t delay getting there. Within seconds of my bottom settling on the plastic seat of the raised toilet… Spurt, splutter, splatter… all over and done in seconds! 

I got the computer on, and after a jumpy start-up, I began updating yesterday’s blog.
My typing skills had gone to pot, or rather, the neurotransmitters were not getting the message to the brain when I pressed a key. This lasted for about half an hour. I was on the verge of giving up until things cleared, then the problem dissipated.

Carer Ejaz arrived. I think he said this is his last visit until next week. Sad that!
He soon had the prescription medications issued, disinfectanted the leg wounds, and put the diabetic sock on for me. Not here long today, I think he has got an extra job on, which he may be doing all over the weekend. Ejaz got all his tasks done!

I pressed on with updating the Thursday blog, despite the neurotransmitters failing and many mistakes being made. I got it finished and posted it off.

After a while, I meandered onto the balcony for a breather and took a snap of the end car park through the glass on the terrace.

I came back inside and updated the thingamibob calendar clock, then made a brew of Co-op 99 Tea. 

Carer Ahmed, Peptac.

Got things ready for the big wash, teggies, shower & shave, followed by medicationings for various parts of my body. Not a pretty sight!

Afternoon clouds. In 
beautiful formations.

As I was taking the following photograph of the sky a few minutes later, it was as if my energy batteries had all suddenly died on me. I did not return to the computer again. I instantly felt so all-in and drained.
I closed down the computer. (In the morning, realising that I’d not saved the CorelDraw or WordPress to file – Humph!), I had no choice other than to just sit down and sleep. That was the plan anyway. But falling asleep, I’d have thought, would be automatic, in the state I was. But No!
Well, falling asleep was easy, but staying asleep, impossible at that time.
It was terribly frustrating, that when I woke, each time I woke up, I felt a little like I do after having a seizure, but I don’t think I had any.

Carer Nimra woke me up upon her arrival and asked me to get up to see how I felt. So, I did.
Cartilage Carole was all over the place as I meandered into the balcony…
I scuffed my left leg against the wheelchair leg rest, swearing a smidge as I bruised the leg on .
Looking at the photo, which Carer Nimra took, there appeared to be three minor bruises. She said it matched the layout of the metal leg supports that I had clouted it against.
Sorry that I got up now. Hehehe! Nimra was tired after her long day. I bade her good luck and wished her well as she departed after giving me the medications and ointmentated my legs & knees.

I sat down again, in search of sleep. But after the faux pas with the leg, I just couldn’t nod off.

So, I put the TV on to see if the adverts would help me in my desperate search for sleep. They didn’t!

I realised I had time to make a meal before the last Carer calls and eat it. I pondered making an easy meal. I decided a tinned dinner cooked in the microwave would be the best idea. I put a can of vegetable stew and an Irish stew in a microwave bowl, and added half a bottle of Kung-Po sauce, some Bovril and chopped up some water-chestnuts and added them into the microwaveable dish of delight.
Belatedly adding a drop of extra-mild peri-peri sauce with lemon juice. Danish wholemeal bread to be dunked! A great mix of sweet & sour flavours!
Delightfully tasty meal, that I really enjoyed! While searching for the Gung Po photo, I stumbled upon a picture I took many years ago in Skegness. This took me back, evoking both good and bad memories.

I washed the pots, or rather, I left them soaking in the bowl in the sink. And climbed into the bed, but for some reason could not get comfortable, and gave up, got out and into the I settled into the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner to watch an episode of my favourite recorded, ‘Heartbeat’, on the TV.
I drifted of within seconds, I even felt the joy of it while sleeping… but, 🎺the “Oh, Suzana tune burst forth to wake me up from the intercom.”
Carer Mizra arrived. As I got up to press the admit button in the hallway, Calamity! !
Gave way, and I ended up back in the aged, grotty-looking, c1966-made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner.
“Oh, Suzana” tune had stopped, and by the time I got myself up. Mizra was ringing the buzzer and came into the room. Mizra took off the diabetic socks for me and issued a painkiller and some Peptac.

I collapsed back into the £300, second-hand, musty, Haemorrhoid Harold Testing, cringingly beige, crumb-covered, not-working, rickety recliner, again in a desperate search of Sweet Morpheous.

After an hour or so, I drifted off and started dreaming again. It wasn’t a nice one, but details are escaping me as I write this. I was once again woken up, this time by the telephone ringing.
An inebriated-sounding voice demanded to speak with Allison. I pointed out that there is no Allison here, telling him that he had got the wrong number. He started to talk, telling me not to *muck* about and put Allison on! I rang off.
My mind was all over the place now.
I decided a mug of tea might help, and toddled off to the kitchenette to make a brew. Taking this snap of the evening view.

Back in the £300, used, c1968, dirty-beige-coloured, not-working, creaky recliner.
Sleep-Seeking!
After an hour or so, and on the verge of going potty, I had to rise for the umpteenth time, to utilise the yet again!
Thankfully, the evacuation was over in seconds. Unfortunately, the cleaning took so long that I’ve forgotten what day & time it was. Not that I was bothered either way – after called on me, and from then on, nothing was a bother or a hassle. Even when I got back to the c1968, non-operational, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, germ-breeding, Harold Haemorrhoid-Testing, sickenly beige-coloured recliner. The powers of my hero  are incalculable. Nothing had changed; I was still physically shattered, tired, weary and still struggled desperately to get some sleep.
Did I care after Horis arrived? Nope!
But I wished he had called on me earlier!

A PRECIOUS HORIS 10%