– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – Updated with more waffle – – –
I struggle with my mental roaming,
I search, ask, but no one is answering,
But why should they, I say while praying…
I can see my end, advancing…
That’s how it is, no romancing…
I’m not exactly laughing or dancing,
At the thought of my decaying & dying,
To live a long time, I’ve not been relying on anything,
Since starting to take the Amoxicillin…
Toothache Tiffany, the pain she’s still inflicting...
Looking forward to the trephinating….
Remembering, ashamed & self-loathing…
My fractured knee, cuts while shaving…
But the way the computer has been behaving…
Almost got to me, it had me spitting & cursing!
Till a visit came from Community Nursing,
I fell in love as she removed the compression bandaging,
She said I’m doing well; which was very encouraging!
She replaced it with a new one, after medicating,
Then she got me on the bed, things were tingling!
As she began my catheter-contraption removing…
If I’d written these lines correctly, they’d have no rhyming,
The tube from Little Inchie, pain-free, with no hurting, 
She came to the bit, which can tear-bringing!
But not with this gal, I was actually singing…
As she manipulated the tube back into Little Inchy!
It went so well, we laughed jocosely!
Her visit rid me of my jejunity,
I insisted, in thanks, she takes goodies for nibbling,
My thanks, and coffee and cans for drinking.
And some croissants to share with others who are nursing.
Since starting to take the Amoxicillin,
I was good before, but it’s worsening,
I can lose what I’m saying when talking,
Phoning? To whom am I speaking?
My worries are now amalgamating,
Coming together, congealing…
And it’s not a very lovely feeling,
Is this because I took the penicillin?
Concentrating, I need this elucubrating,
Little Inchies’ Fungal Lesion is bleeding,
I’m more edgy about my poor equilibrating,
The days that flash by as if speeding,
Now time flashes by, without my noticing,
My brain that moves so slowly, galumphing,
My knees’ agony when moving or genuflecting,
Aware that I’ll never again be jigajigging,
For months I’ve not yodelled or sung,
My mental & physical state is now larrupting,
Ailments that for a long time have been erupting,
But, enough of this self-prognosticating…
Magic Mushrooms, which gave me psilocin…
Tried them once, they were mind-blowing,
Now water-on-the-brain; a new thing,
This is not psychotomimetic or intoxicating,
For the Trephination operation, I am waiting,
Not looking forward to the trephinating,
But I’m not scared, or in fear, just accepting…
That life has been excruciating and bewildering,
Well, after I started to get old and ageing,
I’ve tried to avoid sinning & vernacularising,
I seeked not exculpationing or validationing,
Now, I start wailing, moaning & whimpering,
Accepting it’s distressing, disturbing, upsetting…
I have irreverent fancies, often witwantoning,
Failing is something I used to find depressing,
With my conscience, I was ever juggling…
Striving for just one chance of winning,
But ended up an expert in failing,
My hopes for a win started deteriorating,
My faith started declining, crumbling,
Then old age and I started decaying…
Physically, the ailments started mounting,
Mental problems, too, were beginning…
Dementia, PN, so many I stopped counting,
As one problem started regressing,
A new one was developing,
The first one started retrogressing,
My hopes were fading, falling & failing,
No longer anxious or troubled, just foreboding,
Accepting my fate, but fulminating,
I soon accepted my losses & forfeiting,
But seeing Starmer as PM is an abomination…
A disgrace, an obscenity, a transgression.
Starmer has a certain air, but no admirability,
He made Tory Mark Harper, into Baron Harper,
He’s a charlatan, deceiver, hoodwinker & liar!
A masquerader, grifter, confidence-trickster,
Is this why he did so well as a barrister?
A double-dealer, hoaxer, swindler, flimflammer,
A back-hander taker, illywhacker & douceur,
I imagine I sound a bit of a derogator?
I mentioned Keir to my electroencephalographer,
One of his worst traits is his hylomania!
His compassion is non-existent, not even minuscule!
I so look forward to his moratoria!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Horrible day!
Apart from the nurse doing my leg bandaging and changing the catheter-contraption, of course.
I fell in love again; I must top this at my age.
CorelDraw and Computer problems again.
Left the hot water tap to run cold again.
Got to the Porcelain Throne too late again. What a mess I made… I blame Trotsky Terence.
Lost the TV remote control. Found it five hours later.
Went down to call on Jenny and Frank. I got off the ninth floor, and for some unknown reason, I inwardly lambasted myself: “You Pratt!” Then went down to the eighth floor, into the small lobby, and realised as soon as I noticed there was no bell-push on the door, that I was on the wrong floor. It was the eighth floor! Still, poor Jenny cannot get up very well, so I didn’t see her, but it was lovely seeing Frank again.
Then Carer Ejaz told me was not doing the last call. Thankfully, he will be here in the morning. I hope.
Ejaz did his best and may have got in trouble for overstaying on his visit; to call the Doctor. He got through after selecting buttons to answer the robot questions. He reached another robot and was 3rd in the queue. He then gave me my mobile to monitor the repeated messages while I called the Audio Centre, which took 20 minutes to get through. Apparently, they will email me. From the first time I called the Doctors, it took 30 minutes to speak to a receptionist, five minutes to explain the problem, and they will send me a text. 
So nothing was achieved. We were both frustrated. Although a stronger word may explain how we felt a little more accurately. 
Did I mention the CorelDraw and Google problems?
There’s no time left if I don’t, so it’s already late.

Photos & Comments
The catheter pouch, before my nurse tended to it.

Morning view.

Forgot why I took this one.

HC equipment. High BP today.

Aha, got some of the Marmite & cheese puffs.

Too many drinkies. Even though
I’m drinking nonstop to help
my bladder pass to the catheter.

So tired, only just changed the date.

Copernicus sausage, Potato Rostis, cooked beetroot, tomatoes & cheesy bread rolls.

= = = = = = = == = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Things are now more of a struggle!
I’m forever in a muddle…
I could do with a cuddle!
= = = = = = = == = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Feeling a little sad for myself there, sorry!