Ageing humour

Inchie: Thursday 8th June 2023

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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A Day with a Difference
Well, several! The usual confusion and misunderstandings were rife – as expected. But today, there was an almost carefree attitude… a feeling of whatever I do, it ain’t gonna go right, so why bother? So, for an hour or so, I didn’t have that cloud of clumsiness and depression lingering over me.
Naturally, as is almost guaranteed, (it is, of course), Mr Fries’s mob at Liberty-Global Virgin Media, assured me of spitting blood, and hatred-urging, loathing and cursing at their incapabilities to get internet service to me.
When I got home from the bank, I rushed and got back onto the blog catching up. Four hours later (now), I have just got it back on again, after SIX sickening service severances, that cost me time, as with no Liberty-Global Virgin signal, I could not save any of the work I’d done and had to do it all again.

Malignance, dislike, execration, and revulsion flowed from my brain, and loins, for the Liberty-Global, and its smoke & mirrors, money-manipulating, camouflaged-dealings, mere façade, ulterior-motivated $24m salaried Mr Fries.
And a spot or two of jealousy, of course.
I wish him no harm, heart attack, being assassinated, poisoned, ran over with a steam roller, or electrocuted (preferably in an electric chair), nor any undeserving ill-will.
He’s got the Liberty-Global oligarchs financially contaminated with Vodafone, Three, BT & EE as well. Plus, Dutch, German and French internet companies. Hence my mentioning an ulterior motive that must be in his plans? The only benefit for me is when the end of the world comes, forecast for November 3rd this year, he will be sick to death at the thought of his billions being unable to go with him to heaven. (Or possibly Hell) Where I, will not be sorry at all after the misery, pain and money Liberty-Global have cost me.
I hope to see him at St Peters’s gate – I will larf!
Just a few random thoughts on the subject!

06:00hrs: Woke, Struggled, but took the night pouch off of tackle.
The colour of the urine was very pleasing and light, within the NHS colour charts ‘Healthy Wee’ scale chart!
The mind engaged early today. And I sat there pondering on the timing of the appointment at the bank, had I arranged a lift? Worked out the timing, passed some wind and acknowledged that the was needed… but not urgently, so considered the things I needed to take with me to the bank. Then realised I needed a good scrub-up and shave, freshening and certain delicate areas were in need of some medicationalisationing.
So, I escaped the confines of the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, grotty-looking, rickety, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, acne-giving, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, and whistling merrily , waltzed off to get the tended to. Other than a few extra nicks shaving, and, I’m afraid, , things went very well, with the ablutioning!
But not so, with the struggle on the .
was in charge for the third day. Firmly, solidly and damned painfully!
I spent an awfully long time trying to urge things along but ended up just sitting there awaiting things to start off…
The two evenly sized bloodied torpedoes, when they did nudge their way out, double-plonked into the WC, and I felt the splashes hit my bottom. Huh! I’d just cleaned that as well! Hehehe! So I cleaned things up again and then feared the trek into the kitchen to get four buckets of water to use, as Nottingham City Homes maintenance does not consider it an emergency, and will not arrive to mend it until 7th July, 3 months after it was first reported. Yet, fetching and carrying the water to the W.C. tank didn’t seem to upset anywhere near as usual. Naturally, I expect to pay for this in some other way later. And I did!
The IV bruise on the back of the right hand had faded a lot. Drying my back with the towel I hit that hand against the sink, I hardly felt it at all.

I got the PPs & trousers on without much hassle. Carer Kara came. And kindly spent a minute or two checking that I’d got things in hand for the bank visit. Bless her!

After she departed, I got the paperwork, and notes written for me in the bag in the 3-wheeled-walker. I was hoping that Carer Chris would arrive at the flat to help me with the shoes, but he didn’t show. I assume he’ll meet me in the lobby. Pleased to see I still had a good stock of soda water and spring water. I’m drinking a minimum of 3 bottles a day now. Gathered the things, ready in the trolley in the hallway, then checked on the stove and taps to make sure I’d turned them all off – which I had. Another .

Got down in the lobby to await Carer Chris and The EasyLink lift. The EasyLink lift was due at 14:00hrs. Chris arrived at 14:05hrs, and the lift at 14:15hrs. I could not close the velcro on the shoes, and they were uncomfortable, not to mention a little dangerous for tripping; so I asked Chris to do them up for me straight away. Which he did.

We mounted the EasyLink bus. Two other people on board to be dropped of en route, no problem, we had plenty of time. Although I got a smidge, I’ll say uncomfortable in the area.
I enjoyed the trip, actually, despite the pain from a now angry . My how the City Centre has changed since my last outing there. Amazing how quickly new flats have been built for the students. I wonder if they get plumbers that take 12 weeks and are in agony? Hahaha!

We arrived at the bank, but it didn’t look like a bank. No cashiers at all? The few staff I saw all looked mega-depressed to me.
The meeting was weird to me. I think that my having a mini while in the room, convinced the banker that I was a wanker, and all following communications were between Carer Chris and the man. Couldn’t hear a word of what was being said.
As far as I know, or understand; they are going to send me paper statements. I have to ask Carer Kara to go to or phone the bank? I hope Carer Chris got it all down.
‘s Performance left me a little unsteady, but I’ve had a lot worse.
When we left we had a good while to wait for the lift home. So we went into the M&S food store, I was convinced they would have some Borscht on sale. But, no!

Back to Davies Road to the pick-up point. A long wait. During this, I took a photo of Carer Chris. A good-looking, tall, young lad. Makes you sick! Har-har!

He took the camera to take a comparison photo of both hands. As you can see, the IV-bruised right hand is markedly different to the left. It’s healed now; no pain.

He then took a photo of yours truly.
I said; I don’t look 98 years old, do I?.
He replied… ‘Oh Yes!’ Hahaha!.

It seemed an age before the lift arrived.
But, it was sunny and warm.
When it did arrive, we were soon on the way… Picking up two chaps en route, and dropping them off en route.
Not sure what time we got back. I really must get around to buying some watch batteries ASAP!

Chris scuttled off back to his local duties, and I got back in the flat and hastily emptied pouch. Just in time, Phew!

Got on the computer to start this blog. (12 hours ago now) within minutes; A-Bloody-Gain!
This lasted for around about fifteen minutes

Ten minutes after it had restarted. It went off yet again!
I lost some of the photos I’d taken from the SD card, so, when it did start, about ten minutes later, the work had been saved. Once again, I had to repeat tasks I’d already done, which cost even more time! This time it seemed to be working a little slower, though. I was pressing on… after another ten minutes…
Down it went!
Along with my enthusiasm. My hatred of Liberty-Global, Fries, and Virgin Media, did not go down; it grew!

I had to do another close-down without being able to save the work done. All turned off, then unplugged Liberty-Globals router box, or whatever it’s called, unplug it, give it a few minutes, then, I replugged it, press the box reset button, and waited and prayed…
In between cursing Liberty-Global, Fries and Virgin Media, I emptied pouch again…

Carer Chris arrived, I asked him to confirm the decisions that were made at the meeting. I’m not sure what he said; what’s going on here? Am I going bonkers?

Aha, a mistake, an error surely… no, it’s right; Liberty-Global Virgin Media was back online! I try to rush to get things done before it went down again.
Five minutes later…
Came back on its own this time. I’m worried about Liberty-Global’s boss, Fries. Coming back on, on its own? He may have a heart attack. Though I suspect he had nothing to do with the running of the business, how it runs, how bad it is, etc.

Yes, 20 minutes later, it was back to the normal shitty Liberty-Global Virgin rubbish again! I’m running out of expletives for this company and boss.
It was back on again 18 minutes later. And stayed on for over two hours! Honestly!

Carer Chris did his last call, adding the night pouch to . I forgot to ask, and he forgot to put some of the Phorpain Gel on my rear end to counter the pain from ever-present
I was getting so tired, weary and frustrated. But continued with this blog.
I stopped to put some gel on my back; not easy; it probably causes as much pain as it relieves with my stretching to reach the affected area.
I took this rather nice photograph of the evening scene. Amazing how it shows up with a brown hue. Cause to my eyes, it looked blue? But it’s still a lovely view.
Well, fancy that!
Still, I wouldn’t give up.
.
Uneducated. A smidge on the thick side physically as well as mentally.
Ten minutes or so later, it returned… Note I do not say; Ten minutes or so later Liberty-Global Virgin Media and Fries got a signal to Nottingham… I said that wrong and lost the effect of my sarcasm there – I’m so tired.
04:30hrs now. Took this snap of the early morning view. Not a good one, but what can I do?
I decided to get my head down, won’t be for long; the Carer will be shortly due!
A superior effort this one was.
Getting done to reach the wounded digit, wipe and cream, then gauze on it; was probably as painful as the initial toe stub was!
Still, yer can’t win ’em all!

For sanity, another blow,
How does Inchie do it, though?
It’s a mystery, as you may know,
Not bright; he’s a little slow!
But, he’s such a nice fellow…
And, he hit his hammertoe!

Then the bank sent this email. It confused the already confused Inchie, a bit.

05:30hrs: I’ve been up for one hell of a time. Got up at 06:00hrs… made the meal at 06:00 the next day… have I been up and angry with Liberty-Global’s failures for 2 hours then?

The meal was welcome.
Taste Rating of 8.2/10, despite falling asleep eating it and making a mess all over the dressing gown, my chest and the chair…

What a long, lugubrious, almost hallucinatory day it’s been.

Keep Your Pecker Up!

Inchie: Monday 29th May 2023 From Accifauxpasville!

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I’d be lost without the Carers. Some have shown me so much help and understanding. I feel they are like friends more than just Carers doing a job. I did actually ask two of them to adopt me as a Grandfather. Hehehe!
The job is not an easy one. They are a cut above the ones at the home I went in after the stroke.
Bless them all!
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I almost burst awake after four hours of blessed sleep. With a jump, juddering, with the left eye still twitching? Acclimatised myself to the current renewal of consciousness, and checked on the wall clock… but it wasn’t there? I checked again, in case it was one of the female ailments that caused the clock to disappear from view. This needed an investigation… so adopting my Sherlockian Status, I first got the Night pouch detached. had done a good job putting it on. It took me a little pains and about 15 minutes to get it off, carefully without breaking anything. Then the again, I got hold of my , hobbling over to the wall without a clock on it. The investigationalising began! Just as Sherlock would have done (I’m sure), I detected that some of the paperwork nearby was now on top of some bags on the floor… but where was the flipping clock? Being an experienced loser of property, ideas, thoughts and good luck, I decided to get the torch and see if the wall clock had rolled underneath the 1962-built, falling to pieces, Hopewell’s E-Plan Sideboard, with the doors falling off. No luck: if it had been under there, I’d have seen it, it’s white and big.
Check around the room, but with a feeling that had it fallen off in that corner, it would have stayed there atop the bags of rubbish and forgotten about brick-a-brac?
I was confused now!
But, jobs to be done. So I made up the waste bags into one. And checked out the tootsies in the light from the kitchen window.
The ankle was the thing that drew my attention. What the heck was the white mark? I couldn’t rest then, I had to try to clean it off, gave it a wipe with a cloth, it didn’t move! At that time, the summoning to the came, so I grabbed , & off I trotted, wobblingly to the wet room.
More curiousness hit me. Why had I left the things on top of the non-working W.C. lid?
I’d already got the clock to worry over, so I put this out of my mind. I’m most adept at that, you know? Putting things out of my mind. The problem is retaining things I’m my mind! Hehehe!
Then, for the first time in months, I had a similar type of evacuation, not the opposite as it has been. was again in full command – the messy little bugger!
Still, it was wash & shave time, so after cleaning up the mess made by Trotsky’s spatterings, I was going to clean my teggies as per usual first job. But no! The toothbrush had vanished as well as the clock? Much more time was lost fruitlessly searching for it.
acci-whoop Had the shave next. I thought it had all gone extremely well until I moved back from the mirror, and the blood ran from my chin onto my belly. I hadn’t felt any cuts occurring while shaving?
I went to get the Brut aftershave, an excellent if initially painful blood-stopper…  and I got a prize-class toe stubbing.
I considered the possibility of hibernating!
Swore a little, stopped the bleeding, and got on with the body wash. Always a risk when ‘doing’ scrubbing up near and around . However, today, no bother. I wondered if my luck was changing… I think the daftest things! I moved on to the tender-areas medicalisationings.
Very tender, the rear end and the middle buttocks this time. I must get some more Germolene and Germoloid ointments & cream.
I decided to get into the risky business of refilling the water tank, then remembered Jenny saying about using the shower. Haha! A pain-free refilling! But no! The light came on at the power point, but nothing happened? I think there was a noise of some sort, but it might have been from elsewhere and couldn’t identify it anyway. I’ll try again next visit to the Throne.
Four trips were enough this time to fill the tank. I heroically filled the first two buckets up to the top of the containers and gently carried each one back to the non-working W.C. water tank. that sweet was not too bad about it this trip!
For some banal reason that’s beyond me, I put the things back onto the non-working W.C. lid? The pleasure of putting on just one thin dressing gown was very pleasing.

But the PPs getting on was not one of the easiest I’d had to do.
I got into the usual position in the corner so as to avoid tumbling over in the case of lost balance… Wedged my bottie in the wall, and got the easier-to-use right leg; the more troublesome one, without any hassle! Then, of course, to get the better leg means balancing on the dodgy right leg to do so! Using the picker-upper, as advised by the District Nurse, nine times out of ten, tears the paper fabric of the pants. Although is good for getting trousers up… balance permitting.
Anyroad up, I almost went over but managed to lunge for the grab bar in time. Still got a new bruise on the right leg, but still. Aftershaed and deodorant splashed them all over, and off to the kitchenette. Taking these two photos as I got in, and put the kettle on.
The tea was not made for various reasons. But I needed to drink more water anyway to get the wee-wee flowing again. It was reluctant all day yesterday. And the Finasteride Prostate reducing course of tablets only has three days left. So, it looks like a permanent catheter for Inchie!
Carer Richard arrived as I was setting up the computer.
started kicking off as he arrived, and have been with me ever since, still at it! Grrr!
Carer Richard Set about giving me the medications and he told me about the Finasteride Prostate tablets about to run out. I meant to ask him to Phorpain Gel the back, but I forgot! Humph! He checked the medication drawer and wrote down the details.

He confirmed the urine as a 6 rating. I thanked him and bade him farewell, wishing him a good sleep. Took the photo above, and, again, put the kettle on. Not managed to make a brew yet, though!

I took this picture of the feet, but as I was doing so, granted me one of his, sometimes nervous-making routines, unexpectedly and without any warning. That was a rarity. I can usually feel the and get a warning… but not this time. I clouted the wayward leg on the corner of the floor cabinet, right on the bruise I got getting the PPs on!

Some days… you wonder why!

At long last, I started the blog. And…

Why does Liberty-Global, a smoke & mirrors man, oligarch, $26 million a year getting Mr Fries, show no interest in the company he bought out, complete failure? Obviously, there will be some money laundering, tax evasion, underhandedness,  profit-making, or some such scheme or the like involved in his ulterior motive!
Pure jealousy and hatred on my behalf!

arrived in a chirpy mood. Very kind to me. She gelled my lower back, rubbing it in well. Nice! Read the questionnaire for me. I was struggling to hear what she said, mind you. But I think it worked out alright. She could not call the Easy-Link for me as it’s a Bank Holiday – No one told me until now! Thanked her and went to make a mug of tea at last.

Hello, a mistake here, surely? The Liberty-Global Virgin Media internet is back online. Well, I never!  Mr Fries is likely visiting his oligarch friends in Moscow or Mafia Italy, as it’s a Bank Holiday – although, do they have them in America?

FOUND THE CLOCK!
It beat me, but it was in the first corner I checked; underneath some carrier bags. How it got there, I’ll never know!.
Got it on the shelf now.

Then:
Jealousy eats at me!

Packing in now; if it goes off again, I don’t think I  could survive the anger and hatred Fries would instil in me.

Going to get the nosh sorted – back in the morning.

♬ MORNING HAS BROKEN – Like Virgin Media…♬
Arrived; no medications were needed. But, she rubbed in some of the Phorpain Gel; to help counter the agony (tonight, anyway) of  .
Then to .

♬ FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD ♬
Lovely!

Oddlimost markings on the leg, spotted by the Carer?

acci-whoop

I got up to take this shot. Had a second . Then knocked the kitchen roll and hander off of the window ledge. Bent down to retrieve it, and showed her disgust in her usual way – painfully! Then… , I spilt the milk all over the cooker!

Sleep was hard to come by again.

Back to the old rampages! They were amazingly vicious… but suddenly stopped, I got a clear, precise message from or , maybe from both of them, that momentarily made me shiver. No, messing about; it sounded like it was set in concrete… The warning, or quote, was; “This trifling incident was chicken-feed, fiddle-faddle, to the hassle you’ll get tomorrow, mate!” I was aware of his/their choice of words ‘Hassle’ No mention of injuries or any … just ‘Hassle’. My did not return… but they were not needed to keep me awake. My imagination and fear did a good job of that!

My , has never-ever been wrong!

Cheers, each!
He says nervously!

Inchie: Sunday 28th May 2023

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A Jolly Good Morning to you…
I greeted the world with a rendition of “Oh, what a Beautiful Morning”, followed by “Onward Christian Soldiers”. Bounded out of the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickening beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue-collecting recliner, and did a few rounds of shadow-boxing. Then 10 minutes on the weight lifting, and went out onto the balcony, and Yodelled Frank Ifield’s “She Taught Me To Yodel…

Or…

I stirred after only about four hours worth of kip, checked the clock, 04:45hrs, and swiftly fell back to sleep.
Woke with a nervous tic attached to my left eye, and checked the clock again, 05:00hrs.
I considered the option of getting up… Zzz!
06:00hrs the next time I woke, still with the nervous tic in the left eye. Danged annoying that was!
Back to Kip, I floated… Not waking until gone 07:00hrs! The tic still twitching away.
I even had to force myself then to rise from the comfort (that’s not the right word) of the recliner, to grapple with getting the night bag from . It soon dawned on me, that the night pouch had not been attached.
If I remember rightly, I must have forgotten to ask the Carer to do it. Of had I taken it off myself earlier? I think not, because the urine in the day bag was a deep brown-red. I stood and caught my balance, reached for , took off the dressing gown to cool me cool down, and went off to utilise, in response to the early call to the . Once0 again, was in control, very messy! However, ailment number 21, , after carrying the buckets of water to refill the not-working for 9 weeks now W.C. water tank, was far easier than she has been lately. That is thanks to the Carers rubbing in the Phorpain Gel regularly for me for a few days now. Easing the discomfort. But, as usual, the started off, as if to cover for BPB’s absence. Hehehe!
I got the computer on, determined to get yesterday’s blog sorted ASAP.
After five minutes of putting the photographs in from the Kodak SD card, and I realised many pictures that I took last night, were not there! Tsk! – !

Then, I got a bit of a shock, sat sitting here, again wearing only , and the morning Carer came into the room! Somehow I’d not heard the chime.
I clabbered about to get the dressing gown back on sharpishly. got the medications sorted. Then got some gel rubbed into my back. Very welcome! Cheers! 
Peptac taken. But no Paracetamols were needed.
I believe that Phorpain, which has Ipobrufen in it, serves as an extra painkiller? Having it rubbed in so often, it gives me a chance to reduce the drugs I’m taking. I’ll see how the pain levels go… Huh! As I typed about this, would you believe that the started off again?

I got the Saturday blog finished, and I posted it off to WordPress.

demand number two arrived. was even more dominant on this visit.
I dropped the PPs, sat, shat and was upright again within literally seconds! The mess was unbelievable and took me ages to clean up, and the bending to wash things disturbed , who was accompanied by a more persistent ! So much for cutting back on the drugs! I thought I’d better take another Galphram in hopes of controlling ‘s appetite for wet, smelly, gooey evacuationing!
The pins and plates seemed to be looking better.
Apart from the ankles of course.
Then, the urine started flowing a lot easier and faster for an hour or so. And a lot clearer and lighter colour, too!
I’ve not had a good stubbing for a long time now. This one was a cracker! Not that it bothered me, of course.
Pain means nothing to me at all.

Josie aThe door chime chimed. It does that! I’ve noticed it a few times. Hehe!
It was neighbour Josie from across the hall. The poor gal was having trouble with her kettle again. Despite my acute lack of knowledge and fear of anything mechanical, technical or complicated, I went in to see if I could help her. I think I worked out what it was, too. I could be wrong, of course. But believe that the insert into the base looked worn a little. So filled her kettle up, and it worked! She’ll need a new one, though, to be on the safe side with electrics. She went to Wilko, but they had none in stock. So, a made her a mug of coffee, said my farewells and returned to the flat. And ordered her one from Asda, I hope her current one lasts until it arrives.

Got an email from old friend Chrissie, telling me that the cataract replacement is a ‘Doddle’, to use her own words. That was kind of her; she always knew what I was thinking 66 years ago when we were neighbours. and a lot younger. Hehehe!
Chrissie said she’d had two cataracts done. She mentioned a procedure she has to go through, regularly with an injection in her eye. I looked it up. I think it is called ‘Laser Injection Photo Dynamic’. Bless her! ♥ I asked her if she found out what it was that was eating her toe.

Got the oven heating up, and a can of Golokowa ready, then peas & carrots in the saucepan. All I have to do when the potatoes are cooked is get some slabs of the Flora Non-Butter butter in a couple of bread rolls. We’ll see how it goes; my plans are famous for their failures!

I’ll see if I can get it done before the night carer arrives.
Back soon… or in the morning.

MORNING CATCH-UP:

arrived. Medicationalised me, and took the waste bags with him. A little natter, I’m not sure either of us understood each other, but we ended up laughing. Haha!

The cloud formations tonight were indicative of changing weather, as Dad used to tell me. See that? I can recall from 70 years ago… but still, I forget to turn off taps, heaters, the stove, the shower power box, lock or unlock a door, the time, day, date… etc.! This picture evoked my love of nature.

I finished making the meal and got it served up on the plate and tray. Golonkowa, thick chips, carrots and peas; with two bread rolls filled with chunks of Flora no-butter butter. The chips were okay, and bread rolls and peas & carrots were all decent enough too… The Golonkowa and Plant butter were fantastically tasty!.
A well-deserved Flavour-Rating given of 8.2/10.

I washed the pots and settled down in the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. To watch something on the TV.
How come, when I want to sleep at night, I can’t? Yet nearly always nod-ff watching the goggle-box when the first set of commercials come on? Humph!

I was well away dreaming and came in, turned on the light, and it took me a while to work out where I was and what I was doing. I must have been deep in sleep.
Handed out the Peptac, then dolloped on and rubbed in some Phorpain Gel into my lower back. Nice! It really helps ease the pain from . Thanks! He then got the attached, a little too tightly, I found; when it came to me getting it off in the morning, to . Understandably, the lad doesn’t want it to come loose and leak. Took the fresh wastrel bag with him.

I had to get up to turn off the light. Got up easily enough, grabbed the , and turned off the light. Then… acci-whoop – A against the ottoman returning to the chair. At least I didn’t get tangled up in the long night-pouch tube this time. Hehehe!

Could I get back to sleep? No! Not for ages!

Fare Thee Well!

Inchie: Thursday 25th May 2023

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On the bright side, the number of murders committed is only 11% up from two years ago. Mind you, two of them were by Parole Board released early; scumbags! I mean the Parole Board Scumbags, who are as guilty as the killers they freed, and got paid a fortune for doing it from HMG.
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Surely they expected this with an abysmal cost of food ever-increasing? So, what do they do? Reduce the police service numbers. Still, it’s more money for their expenses and treating the ex-judges on the Parole Board, innit? Bitter? Me? Yes!
Think about how devastated the poor family members feel when the convicted killer gets freed by the snotbags and kills their father, mother, brother, Sister, or another relative. Swine!

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What a Busy Mind-Testing Day!
It is now Friday morning. Been up for two hours, and only just started this blog – and there is a lot to relate.
Sorry, it going to be cut short – another busy day Friday, methinks, with Social Services and Jillie might be calling.
Such a load of info: I can’t guarantee this is in the correct chronological order. Better get started…
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The overnight dark-coloured urine bag was removed.

Legs & feet not looking too bad at all!

Within minutes a summoning from the innards to visit the . So, I did!
A closer check on the limbs. A smidge more blown, but not a lot…
Hard work passing, yet messy when it evacuated?
The usual agony and misery of fetching buckets of water from the kitchenette sink to refill the not-working W.C. water tank.
I reckon it’s been about two months out of action. And the last letter from the NCH Maintenance told me they were coming on
17th July. So if I’ve got it right, that means a 16-week wait; But more importantly, 16 weeks of agony, carrying four buckets of water every time I go for a dump! They must be busy.
Thank Heavens for the Carers! They give the back a good rub
with the Phorpain Gel, sometimes needing three applications, but always first and last thing at night. Having this done regularly, I do believe it’s helped ease the pain a lot. Thank You!

Took a snap of the morning view.
Made a brew, but for some reason, it tasted horrible? So. back to the bottled water for me.

Arrived. And rang the TSB for me. It took the gal ages to get through, options recorded messages etc. I could not hear, but had to speak to the man we got… relied on Kara to translate – the man asked a question, I said ‘Yes’ Not recognised, I said suit again and nothing… moments later we were cut off!
Kara rang back and spoke, rang off and told me they ‘Cannot send me statements through the post unless I ring and request one?
Not only do the Spanish Oligarchies who own TSB close all their branches; they are becoming as friendly and helpful as Putin!.
Remember the Spanish Oligarch’s lying adverts?

TSB announced the closure of a further 85 branches!

The closures will take place between April and June 2022 and will result in the loss of around 150 jobs. There followed 94 more branch closures… Not many left to close now!

Made a mug of Glengettie tea. Only four biscuits were dunked with it! Honestly!

I got onto the computer, a very late start; it’s taken me until Friday to get back on it. A nightmare!
YET AGAIN – ONCE MORE – ARRGH!!!
What with a bank that has no branches open and a most unhelpful helpline staff who cut you off, and refuse to send you Bank Statements unless you ask every month! The Worlds worst, most vile, incompetent, Oligarch driven Internet, Liberty-Global Virgin going down for the 9th time in three days. Losing work I was in the middle of… Grrr!

So, I started to prep the food for later on.
Then, the Asda order arrived…
The freezer was full now…
The fridge too! I thought I’d done it again, ordered something in error when I found two bottles of Strawberry Milk-Shake. But in the morning, pointed out the ‘Free Sample ticket on them. The highlights of this order were...
getting the pink soda water (My favourite) on this delivery, at last. And also some Caramelised Cookies (My favourites)
No rush to get things stored, as $26 million a year with guaranteed bonuses and an open expense account Mr Fries, one of the Liberty-Global Virgin Media top-dogs internet service, was still not working. I bet he’s worried about this? Embarrassed, maybe too?

I went through the on-off routine with the usual, regular, sickening, overcharging incapable Liberty-Global Virgin Media problem. No Luck! So disconnected the hub, gave it a minute or two and reset it. No Luck! Repeated the resetting, and (it must have been a mistake on the part of Liberty-Global Virgin Media… but it came back on. However…
I’d lost all the CorelDraw graphics I’d imported and doctored… plus I had to resave the work in another file name.
I’m not sure who is the biggest toss-pot of a company.
or
It’s a close-run thing, you know.
But the smoke & mirrors Liberty-Global Virgin deserve to be the top-wankers for their repeated failure and then sending me this email, to really confuse me and earn my utter hatred. Sorry about putting this on again, but it baffles and scares me!

If the Life-Line is going through a hub that keeps going down, they could kill me! I don’t mind snuffing it. That’s all part of life; I hate to think that they will get away with it, should I have another stroke or heart attack and cannot get help, and I clock out. Which can’t be avoided.
But, if anyone in the legal trade would make a note of this, and I could get some compensation… well, not me, I’ll be at St Peter’s gate arguing with him about my life struggles. Please note that a percentage of any dosh you get, please send to the RSPCA and Mental Health UK. Thanks. Oh, and some for the staff at Winwood Court. Cheers again! You can keep the rest for yourself.

I got a call from Social Services, regarding the meeting I had at the Coppice Mental Health Hospital yesterday, Brain Scan results, MCI & Dementia. Things I must have told them about.
Not a good line for my hearing, I’m afraid. Also, I got a little confused during the conversation. No idea what, if anything, was decided about. But nice that they are listening, and reacting.

I did an order for next week from Iceland.
Blogging again.

A couple of photos were taken prepping the nosh.

Looking good now…
PAREIDOLIAING
Can you see any features, faces or animals in the clouds?

Finally, I got around to making & eating the meal!
Boy, did I enjoy this one? Taste-Rating 9/10!

I even remembered watching a ‘Heartbeat’ episode…
Without falling asleep when the adverts came on!

The evening Carer Called, got the night bag attached to then the lad put some
on my lower back for me. Certainly helps this regular gelling.

The nearest thing to a sunset was missed as I fell asleep. But I got up and took these after-shots.

Now, when I want to sleep – I couldn’t!
Yet the lasted for less than usual. Replaced with fuddle-minded worrying of a vague nature. No panicking. Just an uncomfortable sense of losing control.

Evening All!
Well, Morning!

Inchie: Monday 22nd May 2023

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SMUG-MODE Adopted
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WORD OF THE DAY: EPIPHENOMENALISM

I woke up at 05:10hrs, and I had a muse over what day it was, and I swiftly fell asleep again. Stirred again at 06:15hrs. Passed a lot of wind and coughed a little.
Then set about getting the night pouch off from the firm grip of . Carer Richard told me later it was Grade seven on the NHS Urine colour docket. A bit dark? I’ll try to drink more water today.

The innards demanded that I attend the immediately. So I did. Much less messy this morning. It seems that had made a counter-attack for command of this evacuation. I lot of effort was needed from me to get things started and moving. Painful and bloody for .
Far easy to clean up after the motion this time.
Cleaned the backside and ointmentated the rear end with Germoloids.
I found the missing toothbrush after several days of searching. It had fallen or been dropped, of course; out of sight and landed on the cleaning cloth that was a similar colour. I wouldn’t have found it but for a slight (Hard to believe, I know!) I dropped the Dettol bottle, bent to retrieve it and hit my shoulder against the sink; that’s when I saw it. I took no chances and used the little picker upperer to get it.
I cleaned my teeth, scarce and rotten as they are, for the first time in several days. GC broken tooth
It was a bloody affair. What with and now losing blood, I must try to be careful. I just hope that doesn’t join in with them. Then, I did mayhap the riskiest job of every morning; getting the PPs on. Which is always a painful task and often one with acci-whoop tendencies and risks. But not this morning; the pain was there, of course – but no injuries! And not only, but also, I used the cheaper grey ones, which tend to split or tear occasionally, but again; Not this morning!

The sweat rash was less irritating as well this morning.
And far less coloured.
I still put some of the Savlon antiseptic creams under both armpits, though.

Even more good luck here; The feet, ankles, ulcers, and water papules were all looking good.
With my legs less swollen than for months?
.

Even filling the bowls of water from the kitchen to The not-working or refilling W.C. water tank, didn’t bother poor old so much as it usually does. Mind you, knocking the shoulder against the sink earlier, did set off , and so I was as careful as I was possible not to spill any water or drop a bucket, and I went in slow-motion, almost shuffling my feet flat on the floor, slowly along. But Shirley was only giving micro shakes at this time. How kind of her! Checked the taps were off, and off to the kitchen to get the kettle on and took this photographicalisation of the view.

I took a snap of the being-done-up house near the bottom field.
Saw some action today.
I thought I saw a worker on the top outer scaffold.
Got the kettle on and off to the computer to update yesterday’s blog. Which didn’t turn out as planned.
I couldn’t find the notepad I’d used?
Still, I did find the toothbrush!.
Got the blog done and posted of to WordPress.

KristA Sounded from the door chime, and in came my treasured INR,  Anticoagulation, DVT Deep Vein Thrombosis, Warfarin phlebotomy Nurse Hristina. To take my blood.  That cheered me up! ♥ Lovely lady.

I had some brekkers.
A mug of tea and a tub of pot noodles. I added some veg stockpot seasoning and a splash of BBQ sauce.
Very nice it was too!. Even if I had made it thicker than I planned to
.
Carer Jo-Anne called. She kindly rang about the red marks under my arms for me. I rang Easy-Link but could not understand/hear the lady about the lift for the Coppice Hospital. Jo-Anne told me it was on, and I need to pay on the day.

Later the Surgery rang me. Again I was struggling to hear her, but I think she was telling me that I had not got an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. She did say ‘Don’t worry’. So I’ll try not to.
I’ve got more chance of Diana Dors coming back to life and asking me for sex!

17:50hrs: So light out there.
This changing of the clocks has always had me confused, but it seems worse than ever nowadays.
I really thought it was about 13:00hrs.
.

I’ll make a start on getting the meal prepped. After much musing and ponderisationing, I decided on a can of garden peas, chips and bread & butter.

I may return later (but doubt it), likely in the morning.

Well, what a farcical time I had. It’s afternoon now!
Complete Mind-Blanks (Apart from the delicious nosh) for the night.

This morning, with getting ready for upcoming the visit, and calls from Sister Jane, Carers extra calls with the medications (Fetched my Carer Richard for me, a grand chap.

EasyLink transport to arrange. INR result waiting. Never mind, I’ll try to get it on today’s blog. But it is now nearly tea time, and I have not even got this one finished yet. Think I’m a bit tense over my owing money to EasyLink, and the upcoming brain analysis thingamabob.

Oh, the lovely veggie meal last night, as I suddenly recalled. But as is the way with the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? It was thickly buttered sarnies – Really thick! Extra thick! Using the Vegan Not Butter. I had chips, peas and beetroot with them, Marvellous Tasting!. I took two photographs, and neither of them came up on the SD card this morning! Grumph!

TTFN

Inchie: Wednesday 17th May 2023

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Woke up and removed the pouch. The feet looked even better this morning.

Morning view.
.

Off to the .
The usual struggle is to get the water to refill the non-working W.C. tank. The latest date for an ETA for a plumber is now in July.
Goes without saying, but was agonistic.

Brekkers

Blood Pressure etc., was taken. Far too high!
Cara Kara or Jodie? Assessed the urine as a grade 4. And put some Phorpain Gel on my back for me.

Visit Two.
Sorted the waste bags. Cartoons were done for the blogs.

Front car park.

During which, thee Cares Called. (In the log book)
I’d finished and posted the Tuesday blog. (It had been posted)
I’d acquired a burn mark on my right knuckle. (No idea?)
The balcony door had been opened? (No idea?)
I must have started the meal prepping. I’d opened a can of beans and added some of the Latvian garden peas, and a bottle of Borscht was also been used, added to the saucepan with the last of the fresh vegetables. All together with, I assumed, some BBQ sauce added.
Found this photo on the SD card.
Unfortunately, along with five frames that could not be read by the computer or CorelDraw in the morning.
Format Not Recognised?
I think the blanks covered about four hours or more.

Got the potatoes in the oven, nice and crisp and warmed up the beetroot soup with extra peas, vegetables, beans and seasoning.
Cracking Good Taste!

A new called twice tonight.
Rubbed some Phorpain gel into my back for me.

After he’d gone, I either fell into a deep sleep or
Mind Blank came on.
Woke up at 04:40hrs.

Ciao!

Inchie: Saturday 20th May 2023

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My sweetheart Jillie called on me today. Everything went twinkly. I lost all control as we chatted away, dreaming of being twenty years younger without the catheter. I can dream!
This caused very little else to happen or sink in anyway. So a shortish blog for this Sunday. I shall try to make notes to refer to.
Goodness Gracious me, it’s Saturday, innit?

Here goes…

I woketh up and got the Catheter night bag off of .
There didn’t look like much urine in the night pouch.
But it was a great shade, to say so little had escaped, a 4 rating.

Until I lifted it, and it was a decent amount after all.
Could have been due to or . But my money was on to blame.

The first summoning to the soon arrived as I was taking a photo of the morning view.

Off to the wet room.

Water containers were all prepared for refilling the Water tank that has not refilled itself for two months, and I have to wait until July before anyone can get to me to mend it. Humph!
was in charge again. A dagnab messy job cleaning up afterwards! was in top gear with the pain issuing as I started to carry the buckets of water, ready for the next visit – which you may be surprised to learn was five minutes after exiting the wet room!

This time it was a little more resistant to come out, I half expected a torpedo… but when it did arrive; Splutter-splash all done in seconds.
The urine was flowing well. (Stilton Cheese legs? Haha!)
Got the buckets emptied into the non-working W.C. water tank.
Refilled them due to and her hatred of me lifting and carrying anything whatsoever. I took an extra Codeine and carried on with my noon-working W.C. water tank refilling.

Still can’t find the toothbrush.
The session went wellish. Only two tiny nicks while shaving.
And, no third time for the head bashing against the sink.

Had a struggle again getting the PPs on.
Then I noticed a slight discomfort under the arms.

But the legs and feet looked great!

For the next, I don’t know how long, is mostly   . Jillie had called on me.
She helped settle my worries about the
.
Scary, worrying about phone changes and what I have to do to get it done. And booking alit to the hospital for next week.