Inchcock Today: Tue/Wed 16/17th February

Wednesday 16th February 2022

The body woke, and immediately appreciated that I can only remember waking up four times! Much better sleep!

The brain failed to fully engage! For I somehow found myself in the spare room sorting out the bag for Independent Living Coordinator, Warden, and desk-top dancer, Obersturmbannfuhreress Deana. Wondering why I’d done this before having a wee-wee or even putting the kettle on to make a brew of tea confused me. (Doreen?)

I had a wee-wee and checked on Little Inches fungal lesion (itching a bit). But it was not bleeding, I just cleaned things up and applied some teeth-grindingly painful ointment to the affected area. Argh!

Thought I was going to make a brew of tea… found myself topping up the Treats-Shelf instead? It was obvious to me, plainly, that Vascular Dementia Doreen was going to be in charge of things today! I could do nothing about choices until things calmed down from her. Which, thank heavens, they did shortly after I’d made a brew of JS Red Label Extra Strong tea. But Doreen’s attentions were mentally crippling at times today. So annoyingly so, as well.

Went to make a brew and took this photo of the dark, dank morning view.

The SYS was not too bad. Pulse at 90, up a bit.

Humph! I did drop the darned BP machine as I was putting it away! Tried it out again, nervous of it being buggered, but it worked okay. Used the Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer. The surface temperature read as 34.5°c. A bit higher this time. Good!

I got settled on the computer for a slow, challenging, frustrating session on the Local Snippets blog. Not much went right the first time, and much correctionalisationing was needed. But then again, this is the usual scenario nowadays.

05:45hrs: As I got up to go for a wee-wee, right-loud clunking noises came from the flat above! I think Herbert must have had an Accifauxpa of his own. Didn’t bother me, mind; I was up anyway. I don’t think it was loud enough to be heard by anyone else who might have been trying to sleep. Not that the sanctified, consecrated, uncommunicative, ascetic, aloof, sniffy Herbert would be bothered.

Around 06:00hrs, I spotted the moon through the balcony doors, peeping through the thick clouds. So I searched and found the Canon camera, which I’d left on top of the microwave, and spent some time taking many snaps of the moon. Determined to try and get some decent ones this time.

I think I took about ten photographs of the planet in total, but these four were the only ones that came out fairy acceptablyish. At least, I hope so.

Back to the computer and blogging. However, things WordPress-wise came to an end for a while; why?

Fries salary has since been increased to $23 million!

The landline flashed and rang. It was from Natalie of the Health 7 Social Care team, called Meridian. To explain to me that they (Meridian) had had another no show, and my Carer should arrive by 09:00hrs. Nay fuss! Fair enough, at least they let me know.

When $23m salaried Liberty-Global, number-crunching, mist and mirrors boss Mike Fries, Virgin Media got the connection back, I pressed on making errors after mistakes on the blog. After a couple of hours, the card reader failed to identify the SD card reader… Grumph!

Eventually, my trial and error, or the computer did it on its own, the reader was loaded. I stopped doing the blog, and I caught up with other things. Email reading and replying. WordPress reader, then comments. Then on Facebooking.

Carer Elena arrived and looked after me in a caring and attentive way. (I loved that! Hehehe!) She had been called out to cover for the absentee. Elena Took the waste bags to the shute on her way out for me.

I got the blog done and posted and began the Local Snippets one. However…

.

Gnash! Groggleturds! Gorblimey Crap!

To done-in mentally to do any more blogging now. I got the ablutions tackled. Aye… Worra good session it wor! One little cut shaving, a very minor toe-stubbing, and no falls, walking into anything either! Medicated, refreshed, into the new PPs, night attire donned, and off to get summat to eat.

Deana called on me, and we had a mini-chinwag.

The thud, thudding started from above, so at least I know Herbert hasn’t snuffed it. Shame!

My only success of the day… Cheesy baked potatoes and sausages. Sound like nothing special? But I altered the recipe I usually use to make these treats this time.

  • Take the grated cheese out of the fridge an hour before needed. Best do it after starting the oven going.
  • Clean whole potatoes in a not too hot oven (180°), Part of the secret here, cooked at this lower temperature, but for longer. Top and bottom of oven selected.
  • The cheese, preferably Red Leicester, or any strong cheddar into a large basin. Put the cheese in this, then sprinkle some anchovy or distilled vinegar into the dish.
  • Add a good-sized knob of best butter.
  • After at least an hour and a half (according to the size of the spuds), check to make sure the potatoes are really soft with a semi crispy husk. (If unsure, you can sprinkle water on the spuds as you put them in the oven to cook).
  • Remove the pots when nice and soft inside, and cut them each in half on your chopping board.
  • Remember, once the oven is empty, turn the temperature up to 220°.
  • At this stage, expect burnt fingers, and be prepared to make a mess…
  • Save the skins to one side.
  • Spoon out the flesh into the pre-prepared basin and cheese. (You may need to apply Germolene to your fingers afterwards).
  • Mix well with a fork to start with. Then changes to a spoon. When you are content that you’ve ironed out any lumpy bits…
  • Spray the inner of the half-husks with a bit of vinegar or oil of your choice.
  • Load up the husks with the bashed-up potato-cheese mixture, in fact, overfill them a smidgeon, and press down with a spoon.
  • Then run a fork over the top of spuds so that they will brown off crisply and easily.
  • Get them back into the oven, and expect them, if medium-sized, to take 20 minutes to half an hour. But keep checking cause different varieties take different times to cook and brown off.
  • Traditionally, you can now treat any burns gather the many clumps and splashes of potatoes bits and cheese from the floor, cupboards and your clothing.
  • Once you are happy with the colouring to your taste of burntness of the half-potatoes, all you have to do is remove them and resist eating any before they get onto the plate!
Wunderbar!

Serving Suggestion wot I dun last week

I got settled in the recliner, and blissfully I fell asleep. Ah, nice!

“♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ rang out, and Carer Valerie came in. Couldn’t really have a natter as such cause she was on her mobile most of the time. But she granted me some time eventually. Hehe! Thanked her with some treats, and off she trundled. ♥

No messy tonight. I got the head down after Valerie had departed and remembered to take the Hemp capsule. It was lovely drifting off. I only woke up about for times, marvellous!

=  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =

Thursday 17th February 2022

Only a few wakings up during the night. I’m well pleased with that, but, on the fifth…

I more or less sort of bolted into wakefulness. Full of misapprehension, a muddled state of mind, and in desperate need of a wee-wee! Don’t know why I mentioned it now. Although it’s been this way for over a week now…

I worked out who and where I was as I tumbled out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, and had wobbled like Charlie Chaplin to the wet room. I’m not sure why I did not use the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket); it would have been so much quicker?

Despite Bladder-Barry insisting that I needed a wee-wee so badly, things did not flow very easily. I waited patiently and could almost feel the flow coming from the innards… girded my loins as felt it invade Little Inchy… and a pathetic trickle evacuated, that was so painful! Aha, another infection! I wondered if I had any of the tablets left from the last one… but lost my train of thought when an instant need of the Porcelain Throne arrived; at the perfect moment while I stood above it… I thought.

Oh, dear, similar trouble as the wee-weeing? I got sat down, thinking things were going to erupt from the rear-end. I was still there ten minutes later, having a go at the crossword puzzle. Nothing much was moving much at all…

Then, an explosion of gas had burst free! Obviously, I didn’t see it, but I got the feeling that it had caused ripples on the water in the bowl. Instant relief of the pains! Within seconds a mammoth, rock-solid torpedo slowly, very slowly forced its way out, hitting the water before it was entirely out of the bum?

There was no discomfort with it at all? AS I stood up, the stool moved, and splash and clunk were heard… well, I think they did. No mess whatsoever. Mind you, there wouldn’t have room alongside that missile!

Got a good wash and beclothed my body. I went to make a brew of tea. I’m not sure what I did with the camera, but the photo I took of the morning view came out really vivid. I mean, it was around three o’clock in the morning; how did the Canon camera create light when it wasn’t there? Then I remembered dropping the camera last time I used it… argh… I wonder if it’s damaged? I’ll take shots of the Health Checks in a bit, see if the camera is okay this time. Or, did I change some setting when I retrieved the thing from the floor? I’m talking to myself again!

I went to get a duster to clean the computer screen and saw that the moon was appearing through the smallest hole in the dark clouds.

So I skedaddled and got the Canon camera post-haste and back to the kitchenette.

I had to photograph them quickly, cause I could see the clouds enveloping them all the time I was focussing.

One of the pictures came out in a different size to the others? I now have to assume that I broke something in the Canon when I dropped it on my foot yesterday?

Or is it me?

My progress on blogging has never been harder work than it is today. I am so frustrated.

I suppose with getting up early and the kerfuffle with the wee and Throne, added to the semi-confused state of my mind… this must have affected me in some way? Or am I just waffling again?

The care arrived after 07:0ohrs. The new gal, who is so confident. Kiya, I think, or maybe not. She spent a while chatting with me, trying to settle me, I guess. She also recognised I was not like my usual self. Damned good that, after just three visits. ♥

I spent a lot of time doing the header and top graphic. Got them done in CorelDraw and put them onto this blog… Then, realised I’d put the wrong dates on both of them… Gragnangles! It cost me another hour or more to get them amended and reposted!

Aha, I’ve not done the Health Checks yet! So I did them. Started with blood pressure taking. The figures looked okay to me.

Then on the temperature taking. Which was getting higher at last. Apparently, 35°c is my minimum target, they tell me. It’s the closest it’s been for a long time now. Jolly good show, eh?

I found on the SD card a photo I took earlier from the kitchenette window. Forgetting things and getting confused is the mark of the devil; Vascular Dementia Doreen!

Did I mention she’s moved in?.

I just had a visit from Dizzy Dennis. One of the instant jobs. I’m going to get off of blogging now, and get a sit-down, and try to do nowt for a while, Thought Storms permitting.

I made a meal of sorts, potatoes, a small microwave BBQ burger, and a lemon cheesecake. Nowt fancy, but I needed rest and sleep so much by then. Still, I did enjoy it, such as it was. Taste-Rating: 7.5/10.

Washed the fodder things and got down in the £300, c1968 recliner. Mind confused and so tired, and within minutes I was off visiting Sweet Morpheus… and dreaming with it.

Half-an-hour later, ♫ Oh Susana ♫ rang out as the Carer entered the flat. Carer Fria Freestone, at least I think it was. Fria soon got the medications sorted in a matter of fact way; she chose her treat; drink (Tequila) and nibble (Easter egg), and was soon off, bless her.

I checked the flat for anything not safe. Taps etc., and got back down in the recliner. At first, I struggled to get back to sleep, but thoughts of Jillie arose, and I was soon off once more into the land of Nod! Hoping to stay that way for once… I’ll see!

Local News Snippets – Part 13⅔rds

Local News Snippets – Part 13⅔rds

Not much today, folks.

But even Nottinghamians can have off days, criminally!

We anticipate high winds from Storm Dudley,
To be nearing Nottingham on Friday…
These storms I consider dangerous, antisocially,
I shall be acting rather claustrophobically…
Hemmed indoors, warm and well away…
From wet rain and winds fully…
Taking my tablets, drinking tea, convivially!

Ah, the new cases have dropped a bit…
Yet in our complex, another six have caught it?
In Winwood, Winchester and Woodthorpe Courts,
And staff as well, say the verbal reports…
And, I’m feeling a little out of sorts…

Not a very wise thing to do; a prosecution is now due?
With the number plates being the same too?
Not that I have any strong view…
Driving I’m no longer allowed to do,
Oh, I’ll have to rush to the loo…

Yes, you guessed it, a Chinese takeaway they did own,
They got a decent fine, which I fully condone…
Two years ago, they were done, for cooking a thighbone,
And selling stolen bottles of zabajone!

Do the scumballs of Nottingham start early?
Kids now live life so nastily, violently…
Copying Dad, who is not very fatherly…
Taking their pleasures intravenously?
Do they bother about the law? Not particularly!

Another violent youth for us to worry about!
My biggest concern is his future fallout…
That he will be a criminal, there is little doubt…
For him, the weekend will not mean a meal out…
It’ll be mugging someone; use his head for a kickabout!
The law and rules are made for him to flout…
Another one, for the life of a bully and lout!

Sometimes there’s no escaping the law, you know…
You must avoid any type of emotional imbroglio,
It’s not always the evil men, scum or a wino…
So, off to prison, another one will go…
I notice not many Fathers or Vicars in there, though?

A bit vague this report is, to me?

Humph!

Friday, the threat is of Storm Eunice!
I’m not surprised to hear of this…
The weather forecasting is always remiss,
I had an accident during Storm Alice,
Cost me my car, but I did get some bliss…
I fell in love with Nurse Mavis ♥

My postcode crime has gone up somewhat,
8.2%, It might be considered to be a lot…
No mention of the two murders, what?
The four people who got themselves shot?
Or the baby strangled to death in his cot!
That makes seven… are they in the other crime slot?

Inchcock Fights Power-Point Paul Twice in two days!

It was a losing battle each time. Brought on by a combination of Dizzy Dennis, both times, with Peripheral Neuropathy Pete assisting on the first clouting of the power box by Inchcock.

Just a little lump on the head yesterday. Today, after toppling over onto the box, the body-mass, and there’s a lot of it nowadays, slid like a massive jellyfish, down the box and wall, creating a mess of fleshiness crumpled on the floor. Thus, a little bruising and scratches on his man-breasts, nose and chest.

Further snippets on this subject may follow later.

The Nottingham Lads News Snippets in Ode

Inchcock Today: Monday 14th February 2022: Confusionableitis!

Inchcock Today

Monday 14th February 2022

Jolly Good Morning!

I stirred back into pretend-life around 02:00hrs with a jump that left me in the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered, grotty, tatty recliner, as the Thought-Storms started. I’d had a few earlier bursting awake episodes, but I got back to sleep pretty quickly. This time, Thought-Storms made sure I gave up on any idea of going back to sleep… Humph!

After fretting about the eye-sight problems, then working out what day it was, an unexpected surge of interest in cleaning up overcame me. It didn’t last long, of course! I made up three bags of waste, refilled the washing fluid bottle, cleaned the kitchenette sink and considered the possibility of my mopping the floor! But I was saved from housework impulse by the sudden need to use the Porcelain Throne. 

Had I been asleep in the recliner, I would never have made it in time! Boris Bowels was in complete charge of the evacuation and timing. So, it might have been a good thing I did get up so soon? All over in seconds until the second wave of sloppy stuff followed on… Stinking, messy and a hell of a job cleaning up the wet room furniture and me, again! I cleaned the floor in the wet room a little… Oh, I am a good boy sometimes. Haha!,

I washed and made for the medical drawer and the Galpharm capsules, taking two of them! Well, things were very watery and gooey, so I thought it would be safe to take two. I just hope it isn’t going to be house-bricks on the next visit to the Throne… Please!

I got the kettle on for a brew, and looked out of the window, taking this sadly very poor, in fact terrible, effort at photographicalisationing.

Then, as I closed the window, I trapped my finger, no bother at all. I possibly may have uttered or mumbled something like, “Oh, flipping ‘eck!” or similar.

The body temperature was taken on the digital machine. All the 3’s showed up. I got a bit of a shock when I checked online with the NHS site… This is the result of my checking to see what 33.3°c indicated… I am not confident enough to call anyone. It may well be that the machine is not giving correct results? I do not feel poorly and have been below 35°c for the last seven days or more now? Ah, well, on to the sphygmomanometerisationing…

Another not so good one. Yet it’s only s little higher than it has been and far lower than many results this month? I don’t usually fret over these things, but I hope the haematology nurse comes to do the Warfarin blood test tomorrow, and I can have a word with her about things.

On to the computer, and the photo reader was playing up again. Then… Well, fancy that, it hasn’t let me down since yesterday, and Frid, Thursday, Wednesday… Grrr!

Turned everything and booted up again, still no signal. Humphers! Ten minutes or so and came back on at a crawling speed. But, I pressed on.

I spent a couple of hours finishing off yesterdays blog and posting, and Carer Richard arrived. Which caught me by surprise, as I thought he was on holiday this week? Although I was glad to see him, he was not too pleased to be here! I asked if he had been called in and got an incoherent muffled answer in reply, which told me not to push the issue. I’ve no idea what had gone on. But the lad was in a dour mood for him. I soon cheered him up with some treats and a joke or two. He slowly, nearly got to being back to his usual self. Hehehe! He took the three waste bags out with him, bless him.

I made a brew and back onto the computer… but…

You stand-need to get more involved with Three and Vodaphone, as you are doing when you can’t even supply even a half-decent internet service, Mr Fries? I suppose it’s all number-juggling, money on paper? You’re good at that, mist and mirrors with the profit, but crap in running an internet provider service. Just thought I’d let you know. I am one of the suckers using Virgin Media now that Liberty-Global has bought the company.

Got the service back on eventually. Went on WordPress Reader, then the Comment replying. The photo thingy started to work, so I got the pictures on post-haste.

Here’re the earlier shots taken from the kitchenette window. To all intents and purposes, the skyline looked as if it was a sunset, with the white stripe across it. Different if nothing else.

Things took a sudden turn for the worse around 10:00hrs. I was making another brew of Glengettie, dropped the teabag, lent on the stick and got down to retrieve it… Oh, dearie me! I sharp pain in the groin, just like the one in 1988, when I got a hernia! Ever since, it has been twanging at me whatever I’ve been doing, hobbling, sitting down,  looking out of the window… but especially when I bend or stretch for something.

I took an extra Codeine straight away. And I am prepared to take another if things don’t calm down in the nether regions. Grogglefrogs!

I decided to get the nosh done early, as I had a feeling things were going to get worse, as Dizzy Dennis and Shaking Shaun had joined in with Hernia Henry, giving me bother.

No cooking involved to be on the safe side… well, no, that’s not strictly true. I did some baked stone rolls in the oven for ten minutes. Then got them buttered, and sliced the last of the large Natoora black tomatoes, to have in the cobs. Chicken thighs and a banana to round off the meal. With not feeling up to much, I couldn’t eat anywhere near all of it, but I did gobble all the black tomatoes.

Got the pots washed, and I drifted off into a fitful, tossing and turning, waking every five minutes for an hour or so. When I woke and decided to get myself ready for the ablutionalisationing to be done, I thought I’d dreamt of cleaner Esther, she was raising her voice at me… again, but I couldn’t recall why.

Ablutioning Farces

  • I went to get the fresh jammies to put on after the session, but could I find them? No! So I got the ones I’d put in the laundry basket and sprayed them with freshener.
  • Went into the wet room and realised I’d put the fresh jammies in there ready. I feel such a fool!
  • Cleaning the teeth and another filling that the dentist but it fell out! They ought to be butchers, not Dentists!
  • Shaving, two almost symmetrical cuts, both tiny, one under each earhole. Work of art that was!
  • Showering; as I was bending down to wash the ankle ulcer, Dizzy Dennis had me over – even for me, and I was there, this was amazing… I clouted my head in the exact same spot against the same power box as I did two days ago! It didn’t bleed much, stopped on its own.
  • Drying off, I partly cleared the contents of the floor cabinet in one swoop. Now I was pee’d-off with myself!

On the plus side, there was no toe-stubbing, and the medicationings went much more straightforward than expected.

The legs looked to be in fine fettle; even Arthur Itis was in a good mood with me; bless his cotton socks! Talking of socks, I put some on… NOT using SGG (Sock-Glide-Glenda) Cost me a lot of pain, but surely less than using the dreaded metal monstrosity, Glenda!

The feet looked even better than the legs did. Well, apart from the feeling of worms under the skin on the old Ankle Ulcer area. Within a few hours of this itching starting, the pain usually follows. Hey-Ho!

Off into the kitchen to get the kettle on…

I was pulled up in tracks – The window was ajar? The server trolley was well out of its usual position, over near the fridge? And the bowl I’d left clothes soaking in was empty, no sign of the cloths anywhere… Had I lost it altogether here?

I stood musing for a second and let my grip on the walking stick relax while trying to engage with my brain and memory. I got the picker-upperer to get the stick back (Hernia Henry was still giving me jip). The head natural went down, and I noticed something even more puzzling! The oven door had been cleaned! What? Who? How? There is no way I could have handled that job the may the stomach is?

My thoughts began to blend into a possible reason for the oven door. Maybe I had not dreamt of Esther? Perhaps she actually came to the flat… that would explain the moved items and cleaned oven? My mind was half and half on the matter!

A-side brain: Thought, I know I’m getting senile, but indeed I’d have known if Esther had called, she scares the life out of me with her commands and demands… I must have been aware…
B-side brain: It’s obvious she has been…
A-side brain: But she left no note or message…
B-side brain: She wasn’t to know you’d have a funny turn, was she?
A-side brain: Who said I had a funny turn?
B-side brain: Well, let’s face it, you nodded of at a time you’ve never nodded off, dint yer?
A-side brain: Well, yea… suppose so.
B-side brain: You can’t rest now, can you? You’ve got to know…
A-side brain: I could give her a call… I’d look and sound like a pratt, though!
B-side brain: So what’s changed?
A-side brain: Bugger it, you’re right, I’ll ring her now…

Embarrassing as it was, I did call her and asked if she’d been to the flat. “Yes, you were not well, and I could not wake you up!” So I let you sleep, but you were shaking your right leg and shoulder all the time?

I didn’t bother explaining to her again about Peripheral Neuropathy, Pete; I just said it doesn’t hurt. (Of course, when it gets more active, it has been known to have me off of the recliner with a thud. But that’s another tale).

It was a kind of pleasant feeling to know that I wasn’t going proper crazy, anyway.

The door chime rang out. I feared it might be Esther, cause she was in another flat when I rang her! But it was Josie returning her Sunday lunch tray and dish. It cheered me up when she said how much she’d enjoyed it this week! Smug-Moded!

That reminds me, the lady who I took the Strawberries to, her name, which escaped me yesterday, is Frances! I think I may have a photo of the gal; I’ll have a look. That’s Francis on the left, with Penny in Woodthorpe Court lobby when it was being done up a few years ago.

I took a photographicalisation of Sherwood from the kitchenette window. The rain was falling at the time.

Then I made a bottle of orange juice.

The rain suddenly stopped, and darkness fell rapidly. I bet there will be some beautiful sunset views to take later in, give in about an hour and a half, and I’ll be back at the window David Baileying.

Oh, I’ve done Facebooking for yesterday yet. Tsk! Treated me to a mini-lemon meringue pie and got back to the blogging work…

I was feeling a little dodgy, weak, confused again. It could just be the bang on the head, I suppose.

Hahaha! I’m used to them, though. But there may be a limit…

Bad news on the weather front warning.

The Meteorological Office has issued a ‘Danger To Life’ warning for Wednesday & Thursday this week. With a possibility of snow gales in the North. They tell us that the last storm took three lives, and this one will be worse.

Six of the best kitchen window shots of the Sunset tonight

Bootiful”

The door-chime didn’t chime to wake me tonight. It was young Carer Kiya who came into the room, who came in to give me shock again as she woke me up. Such a pretty young thing stirring me back into imitation life was pleasant enough. It could be embarrassing if I am using the wee-wee bucket or making mad rampaging love to a female when she comes in unannounced. But I had to ask her to use the chime in future, then walk straight in.” Although the chances of the second scenario are nil!” With a broad smile on my face so as it would not sound as if I was ticking her off. She missed the funny side of it. But said she would use the chime in future. Bless her!

She sorted the medications out and watched me as I took them. I took one of the Hemp capsules separately. It went down okay this time.

Gave her her choice of nibbles, a Cadbury’s mini Easter egg, and a can of Fanta orange. Kiya pointed out that she is only seventeen, so no alcoholic drink was chosen. I thanked her, and she took the waste bags to the chute for me on her way out.

No messing then, I got down into the recliner in search of intended Sweet Morpheus, this time. But it took a couple of hours or so before I could nod off properly. Thought Storms that at times felt like dreams, but they couldn’t have been, I didn’t nod of for hours. All a part from the feeling rough and sleeping for a while this afternoon?

In desperation, I even put the TV on, thinking that the first set of adverts would send me off to meet Sweet Morpheus. Ha! They didn’t. However, it just boosted the rate of the Thought Storms. Humph!

Ode To The Day

This was a very different, confusing sort of Monday,
At times, I cried, laughed, self-hated, tried to pray,
One moment things were going along appealingly…
But ended up badly, going so appallingly!
All-day long, everything I did, was absentmindedly…

Momentarily, seemingly, things went merrily…
Often, sourly, frustratingly, alarmingly and acridly,
The tumble in the shower… was almost expectedly?
Thought-Storms raged, some viciously, others banally?
Fears and worries increased, most of them baselessly!

Vascular Dementia Doreen, ever more harrowingly slyly…
She allowed bits of memory and information today…
To be accessed, but all the part recollection ambiguously,
I didn’t need telling; I was going off my trolley…
What bits of logicality I had turned into banality!

Sadly, the above appraisal is close to reality…
Life is apathetic, virtually accidental, and agonistically…
Missing opportunities for joy, affectionately…
My mind wanders, as do bodily things, medically…
I await many appointments, clinicopathologically,
Mayhaps one day, I can report one going blithefully?

The Nottingham Lads Diary – with Odeing

Inchcock Today: Sat-Sun 12/13 February 2022

Did you see that? I even got the year wrong! Dementia Doreen at work?

I woke up this morning (Sunday) not feeling giddy…
Because I’d had a better sleep? Definitely!
I’d woke up over the night, just six times, you see,
Many of my ailments were not bothering me!
Hard to believe it’s my unlucky Sunday!

But, things felt wrong, different, most notably…
The dreaded Hum, so much louder than ever, unfamiliar…
My nerve-ends continued with their uncontrollability,
But with other pains not here, that’s almost a triviality,
Although the eyes were terrible, cataractically!

If I get a Carer call, with they show uncongeniality?
I shall try today to be calm and avoid perversity…
Contain my nit-picking, self-loathing, and animosity…
I’m too nervous about claiming I can have unflappability,
Dementia Doreen gives the brain ungovernability,
She changes my mood so quickly… The audacity!

Saturday

Saturday was a daymare! The eyes delayed all I tried to do. Not that I tried to do much, other than blogging, for over eleven hours in total. I was up from 02:40hrs in the morning until 21:00hrs at night! Computerisationing the majority of the time. Cataracts Kathleen, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, occasionally bothered further by Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley and Dizzy Dennis.

I created a Local News Snippets blog (now finally finished off and posted this morning, Sunday). You would not believe the mistakes, errors and messes I got myself into! Nothing else much was done at all. I did find some photographs on the SD card that prompted memories of Saturday if I can recall. Here they are with notes I’m part guessing at about them. Not many. And they may be our order chronologically, on Saturdays, sorry.

These sunset shots were, I believe, from Friday night. The first two in sequence, I have caught some Crows that had just broken up from a murder in the treetops to the right of the picture.

They were fully grown adults, judging by their sizes of them. In the second picture, I caught two of them. They were flying away from the flats at the time. I remember being surprised that I could recognise them.

The following two nights, the sunsets were hardly noticeable. But these ones, I thought, were so beautiful, even with muted colours (Is that the right word? I mean, not as vivid as it is sometimes).

I took just the higher part of the sky in the last photo, and I zoomed in an iota. The seemingly pink cloud amidst the blue-grey ones was so pretty to me. Mother Nature at her finest! ♥

I first utilised the A&D Medical Supplies, made in China Blood Pressure Monitor. Cor Blimey! Yet another near-perfect result. I believe I assumed a Smug-Mode!

Pulse at 73 looked good. The Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd©, a contactless thermometer, was used to take the body temperature. 34.2°c. A bit low?

The rest of the day was a bit of horror. Really frustrating and depressing for this non-compos-mentis, mentally & physically deranged, ailing old Inchcock. I fear the time is rapidly approaching when I’ll no longer be capable of blogging. Although Vascular Dementia Doreen sees to be affecting me more nowadays. If cataracts, glaucoma and saccades are ever repaired, that could be a life-saver…

Many hours later, I got the nosh prepared. Which also seemed to take an inordinately long time to do. I think it was through my depression and frustration, but I couldn’t eat much of the meal, despite it being tasty enough. A decent 7.5/10 for flavour content.

Washed the pots, had a wash and put the TV on to watch my favourite ‘Heartbeat’ two back-to-back episodes. Naturally, I fell asleep at the first set of advertisements that came on. Humph!

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune of the door chime rang out and woke me up. Carer Valerie arrived.

It was only about ten minutes into the second episode of ‘Heartbeat’, so I thought I’d watch that one. I was wrong! Nodded-off again. Woke to want a wee-wee, and ‘Hetty Wainthrop’ was starting on the box – Oh, good! I thought, had my painful slow trickling wee-wee, washed my hands and settled to watch Hetty… Zzz! 

Amazingly, I slept through for about four hours, lovely! Then the waking up with a jolt started again! Can’t win them all!

SUNDAY

With six sudden awakenings since around midnight, on this seventh one, I stayed up. I had to get up for Porcelain Throne duties anyway. Off to the wet room…

Rushing to get to the Throne, I misjudged the gap again. I walloped my right shoulder against the doorframe. There were some bits of bleeding from Harold’s Haemorrhoids. Nothing too serious, though.

Expecting a messy evacuation again, I had a go at the crossword after getting seated. But didn’t have time to do many clues. The evacuation was a slow job, that needed a fair bit of pushing input from me. Not awfully painful, just uncomfortable. This I put down to Harold’s Haemorrhoids. This is a strange day!

It seemed I’d got out of the right side of the bed this morning? Despite the painful Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxpas, I was singing away to myself as I washed and oiled the earholes? In fact, I was rather upbeat in my thoughts, too! Well, well! This is a strange day!

Josie last week

Cleaned up and got changed into the day clothes. I remembered that I’d not put the laundry away from yesterday yet. So, I did.

I went to sort the prepping for Josies’ Sunday lunch. All foods to hand, and I got the chilli with some extra beans in the pan. Added the mushrooms, crispy bacon pieces, chestnuts, and diced in some tomatoes. Mild chill and BBQ seasoning, a splash of anchovies sauce, and tomatoes puree. All ready to tackle later on for the gal.

I took a wee-wee, washed the dandies, and got the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, made by the ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd©) in Guangdong, China. The results had crept up a smidge from yesterday. But it is only just in the lower stages of hypertension and has been a lot higher on many occasions. Certainly not enough to destroy my strangely volatile good spirits. That has come from I know not where but is welcome.

The Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, had a better reading than yesterday too! A good bit higher.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune burst forth, I thought at first, with no one coming in, it was the Iceland Delivery, and someone had let him in, but no! It was the new Carer, Kiya. She has a bouncy, outgoing nature; it seems like she’s done the job before to me. Quick-witted, sharp, communicative, and very pretty! Kiya got the job done, we had a laugh or two, she’s sleeping very well at the moment, she said. Treated her to the nibble-treats, and off she went with a cheery farewell. I didn’t realise until later that she had not taken the three bags of waste with her. Humph!

The intercom flashed and rang… and I heard in the other room. This is a strange day!

The deliver chappie arrived at the door; he looked a smidge down in the mouth.

So after he’s put the bags into the hallway for me, I treated him to a can of his choice (Cider), thanked him, and got them into the kitchenette for sorting out.

There were two substitutes and four missing items. At least the substitutes sent were alright for me for once. The big bag of potatoes looked fresh, I thought…

I utilised the picker-upperer. And this one is one of the better, stronger ones. But it only just managed to lift the weight of the extremely heavy cheese-topped cobs! As I knocked the cheesy cobs off the trolley, they made a thudding sound as they hit the floor! Blimey, they were weighty!

Got the fresh strawberries delivered as well. One each for Josie, Flora and Richard. Not sure if the ladies name is Flora, it might be Flo Francis? Anyway, she lives in flat 8. I’ll take it down for her later on. (What the heck is her name?)

The Walls microwave sausages are for me; I’ve three packets in x6. Four sausages and baked beans flavoured with chilli, BBQ and Worcester sauce is the plan for tonight. Of course, then there is the challenge of breaking the cheesy rolls to dunk in the juice. I could well injure myself judging by how hard they are. Thanks, Iceland! I might use the drill on them?

Took a break and replied to emails and comments. Lovely one from HRH Lisa and comments from Billum.

Then I got Josie’s meal ready. I gave her some extras for Easter. A little egg, a chocolate bar, and her favourite can of plonk. I also handed over half of my strawberries in a separate bag.

Then I took the waste bags out to the chute room. And, I’d like to add (Smug Mode Assumed!); totally without any Accifauxpas or Whoopsiedangleplops! No trapped fingers, no walking into anything, no visits from either Dizzy Dennis or Shaking Shaun!

I’ve just come to the following line in the blog reminder pad. I’m curious to know what the heck this is on the left here; it is supposed to indicate for me to remember? Looks like 3 40ging? It’s beyond me! Mind you, I’m not surprised. I can’t even see what I’m writing, let alone read or see the subtitles on the TV.

Then I found this picture I’d missed from the SD card. It is sad, innit?

Vascular Dementia Doreen is active again, I see! I think I took this one earlier today when I got out of the wet room. On the other hand, it could be from yesterday… any day, any month…

Spent more hours doing the blog, then took the strawberries down to… ah, I think her name might be Doris? Anyway, she seemed to like them, bless her.

My next plan… get the bangers and beans done for my nosh. I found out what I thought I’d bought, Cheese topped rolls, turned out to be Tiger rolls. That’s why they were so heavy. Humph!

The beans and sausages were a bit of a disappointment, I fear. The baked beans tasted so different to what I anticipated? The little pots I made pots of mandarins in orange juice and some black grapes for dessert were excellent! Overall, a Taste Rating of 6.5/10.

Did the washing up and sat to watch an old film on the goggle-box. Fell asleep at the first commercial break. Woken well over an hour later, by the new Carer gal, Kiya looming over me asking if it’s alright if she puts the light on. Hehehe! She’d not pressed the door chime. I wish she would have, I mean… I could have been in physical rapture with a young lady on the carpet… Well, okay, not that then! Hahaha!

Kiya was in a good mood tonight. We had a little natter and laughed after doing the medications given. She stayed close by while I took them to check that none had come out through a big gap that used to be filled by teeth.

Off she trotted with a treat in thanks, and I had a wee-wee, washed, got into the night attire and back to the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner.

I spotted a blue tablet on the floor. Only Warfarin tablets are blue. So, it seems I had dropped or regurgitated a tablet after all? That was with two of us watching? Bit of a mystery here?

Zzz!

Inchcock Today: Diary wiv odes

Thursday 10th February 2022

Thought I’d Mention It… Great Music!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

05:10hrs: I just waken up again with a jump. The sixth time tonight, I would have gone back to sleep, but the Thought Storms started off. After a few minutes, they just disappeared while I was right in the middle of a fretting session. The surprise of the Thoughts suddenly stopping made me forget what it was I was worried about. Hahaha!

Then in a heartbeat, the bowels started to evacuate on their own again… Panic, flap, up and nearly toppled over, bruised my leg battling against the recliner arm and leg as I tumbled a smidge, and dashed (yes, really, and wobblingly) to the wet room. Grrreat! I made it in time! But it was another messy affair.

I cleaned up the room myself, got some fresh Protection Pants on, returned to the front room, and took a Galpharm capsule. Which was a bit farcical in two ways… Taking out a tablet and Peripheral Neuropathy-Pete’s nerve ends contacted, I crushed the capsule. Not only that, but the nerve-ends went back to lot contacting, and I had to wait a while before I could open the fingers that half the squashed tablet firmly! Which I have to admit to laughing out loud too! I tested the fingers after they allowed me to open them, all seemed fine again.

Opening the foil again on the strip, and the entire sheet came off! How long it took me to find them all, I’m not sure, but it took a few minutes at least. Another smirk hit my face! Got a capsule swallowed at last.

As had to use the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) three times in ten minutes. I shall ring Dr Nallamothu, Urinary Tract Infections office in St Annes, later today; I can’t go on like this.

I put the kettle on, sorted the waste bag, and put it near the door, in case this mornings carer takes it to the skip for me. Made a brew and refilled a water bottle for later. Then took this snap of the morning view.

Then tackled the Health Checks. I used the newer Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd, contactless thermometer. A little low?

Then got the Sphygmomanometer, manufactured for Boots, by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China. The BP was a smidgeon higher. The pulse was 80. good, that was, I think.

The Carer, Richard, arrived a little later than usual. About 07:30hrs. But he seemed a little cheerier today and willing to have a natter with me this morning. He said it was his holiday-vacation starting tomorrow… Aha, that’d be why he was a bit happier today. I’ll miss having him call on me; he shows signs of caring. So, he gave him some nibble-treats, took the waste bags for me on his way out, and left me feeling less cheerful at the thought of who I will get as a replacement Carer? Tsk!

I got on with yesterdays blog catching-up. Which took me a few hours. Grumph! Thanks to Shaking Shaun and Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, both giving me some input. But Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley was as good as gold to me!

I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana and nearly caused a Faux-pas! And took one of the CBD capsules by mistake for the Codeine. Cor, that was close! The nurse said not to take them in the morning, only on retiring.

I got the blog done and posted off. Viewed and replied to emails and comments. Went on Facebooking. Then did some graphicalisationing on CorelDraw. Got as far as here and realised I’d not yet viewed the WordPress reader… so I did! It’s getting late now, so I started this blog.

I went to get the nosh prepared and cooking. And, by gum, the sun was blossoming now. I took a couple of the views on hand photographicalisationings for your perusal; the first towards my left, where the sun was.

The second one to the right, where I could get a prettier shot of the wonderfully blue, almost cloudless sky. I thought this one had a beauty to it.

Then I nipped back into the wet room, thinking I might have left the tap running… but all was okay.

Back into the kitchen, to take this picture of the pretty houses in front of the flats.

Huh! Back for a wee-wee yet again! It’s getting out of hand. Hehehe!

Then I got the number and rang the St Annes Centre to make an appointment with the Urologist. They will text me back with the appointment date and time?

Tried to get a J Sainsbury order in, and Wallah! And, I got one in! For next Tuesday 0630>0730hrs! I’m doing well, ain’t I?

Looking a little glum now.

Herbert was upping the clanging about. I think he was struggling to get to grips with something metal. He seems to have mastered it; he’s back to the tap-tapping again now. Well done, stridulant Hebert!

Got the nosh progress checked. All cooked, so I got the meal prepped and served up. Leaving the sink full of things needing cleaning up. I didn’t drop a single pea from the plate… yet! Haha! Gorgeous tasting effort; everything was so delectable. The black tomatoes and the buttered peas and potatoes were as close to perfect as they have ever been! Taste Rating: 9.2/10!

There was just one… well, two things that slightly marred the pleasure. The poor teeth could not cope with the wonderful tasting Cox’s Orange Pippin apple. I shall have to work out how not to waste the remaining three apples in the fridge. With the two loose teeth, I simply dare not risk biting into them… Could this be the end of my apple-eating days? So, sad! Sob!

Off to the kitchenette, the sun was doing its best to show me the weak Sunsetting and the multi-coloured clouds. Nice!

I got all the pots and utensils washed and draining, as the now getting famous door chime rang out its welcoming ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune. It was the evening carer. It was Carer Elena. I think she’s taken to me as I have her. Very caring, and we had a mini-natter too! ♥ She took the waste bag out with her as she left. Such a pleasant lady. It’s a true shame I wasn’t 35 years younger. ♥ 00Hehe!

Got changed into my night attire and remembered (No, I’m not kidding, I did remember) to take the Pure Hemp capsule. The nurse said it would take a few days to show any signs of improvement. I just hope that it helps me stay asleep for more extended periods. I’ve got to be patient, mind you.

However, I did make a mess of it. (Fancy that, hard to believe, I know, me making a mess of anything… Ahem!) I coughed as I was about to swallow it, and the plastic shell broke open! I got a mouthful of weed and seeds that seemed to get into every little hole, nook and cranny in my teeth. And believe me, there are plenty of them in my mouth. Danged useless Dentist!

I got settled in the £300, second-hand, c1968, Charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, in search of a long-lasting sleep… But no! Yet again, it was waking wide awake with a jump, what seemed to be every ten minutes or so. It was probably longer, though.

Ode to Lack of Sleep

Sweet Morpheus, hello? Can you listen to me, please?
I’m serious now; it’s not a joke, jape or wheeze…
I can’t sleep well or for very long, can you put me at ease?
I’ve not eaten owt to cause this… no fricassees, onion bargees…
No late scoffing any cobs of pickle and cheese…
No dreams of beautiful women in their negligees!
I don’t expect anything positive or guarantees…
If you can assist me, I’ll stop eating toffees…
I’ll be kind to animals, dogs, cats, chimpanzees…
Never again will I eat pickled walnuts or banoffee…
I need the rest, you sees?
For my arthritic knees…
If you can help, I’ll do good deeds…
I’ll even stop playing with my Frisbees!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Inchcock Today: Diary and Local News Snippets

I woke up with a smidgeon of contentment lurking…
But it wasn’t to last long after the awakening,
I recalled a dream about my baking, breadmaking…
I kept getting it wrong and getting a rollicking…
From a woman who was nasty but breathtaking…
Somehow from the bread mix, I made crackling?
She gave me a kick in the goolies and a smacking!
Yet I seemed to enjoy this… I must be barking…
Next minute I’m under a car looking at the breaking…
Moved on to be with Bill Ziegler, explaining fracking…
Back to the kitchen, the woman sneered and headshaking…
Frying eggs now, the woman constantly nitpicking…
Then I woke up… a daft dream, but thought-provoking!
Well, not really, I was only joking!

————————————————————–

05:25hrs: Tuesday 8th February 2022

I stirred into semi-pretend life to find scribble on the notepad of a dream. The pad lay between my knees; the quilt had been thrown over the Carers chair… Amazingly, there were no signs of nocturnal nibbling.

So, without trying to catch my balance, I dismounted the second-hand, £300, charity shop-bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner and staggered ASAP to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). As this was being digested into my slowly catching the body up in wakefulness brain, possibly the most urgent for months, a desperate wee-wee was needed, and Bladder Boris was in no mood to be stemmed or delayed! He let me know this, with the usual stabbing pains…

Doing this, Trotsky Terence started to demand an evacuation, and I had to get to the wet room and Porcelain Throne immediately… for he was beginning the movement of his own accord! I feared accidental frontal and rear leakages as I hastened into the wet room…

I hit Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley against the doorframe on the way in, but this did not stop my pursuit to the Throne. I got the pants down and on the seat with a thud. The action started immediately I was down… well, the rear-end a little before I’d got down. Being Trotsky Terence controlled, you can imagine the extra-mess things made that needed cleaning.

I sat there, Shirley twitching away like a good un, and feeling lucky to get there almost in time, and sorry for myself and ashamed that I didn’t… if you understand what I mean? It was another messy job cleaning me, and the wet room furniture, at least Harolds Haemorrhoids and Little Inchies fungal lesion were not bleeding, so after a bit of thought on my situation. Due to the early release from the read end, and the liquid nature of the evacuation from the rear, some of the product had sprayed onto the porcelain and floor So, I almost cheerfully got the disinfectant and mopped the floor.

I deemed that it could have been a lot worse. And actually cheered up an iota!

By the time I’d cleaned up, washed and dressed, I’m sure I was singing to myself, in fact!

I got the Health Checks done. But this time, things had gone back to their usual worrying levels, Tsk! I suppose the kerfuffle with the evacuations didn’t help matters, so I didn’t worry overly about these figures. Hopefully, they will be back down in the morning again.

The Sys was up a lot (43) at 171, Dia up to (62) 80, and the Pulse up to (69) 76. The body temperature showed 34.8°c, about the same as yesterdays reading was. Oh, it’s a little low, says Google. I think.

Carer Richard arrived shortly afterwards, and he was in a bit of a rush, running late. We still managed a mini-natter. During which the Ocado order arrived. The driver was given a thank you can of pop. He left the bags through the door for me, and I set about getting them into the kitchenette.

Richard sorted the medications, treated him, and after another mini-chinwagging session, he had to go. A good lad.

I started to sort out the incoming fodder. Two Pukka pies I could not remember ordering in there? One was a cheese, leek & potato one? I’m sure I’d have known if I ordered that? It might be a substitute?

Still, it sounds alright to me.

Three cans of curried beans, on offer they were. The tub of C&A lemon mousse was 65p for a tiddly tub! So, I only to one of them. All part of my economy-drive. Hehe!

A mixed bag of stuff on the wheeled trolley server. Orange jelly, bleach and Dettol lavender scented. A quick wee-wee had to be taken! Washed and back to the kitchen sorting.

Another mystery, they had sent two bunches of five bananas? Last week they sent a bunch of ten when I ordered (I think) five? That reminds me, I’ve got some Amazon stuff coming today.

I got the items away in the refrigerator. The two pies, one beef and the cheese as mentioned above, leek & potato Pukka pies, are used by dates on them for four days.

The milk I’d ordered was one massive Welsh organic 3-litre whole milk bottle! I can’t imagine even me ordering a dollop of milk this size. Substitute? Still, I’m chuffed that it is Welsh, as with the Glengettie teabags. There is a streak of Welsh in my family line… someone once told me that, anyway. Dad, I think it was?

Despite the rob-dogging pricing, the Natoora black tomatoes, the large and small ones ordered, were delivered and worth the extra methinks. They are deep and bright red inside. Taste wonderful!

The smaller ones looked like they were made of wood with their colouring. Not had these before, they might taste different, but I’ll give them a go. Not Welsh, these, the large ones are Spanish, which doesn’t bode well, the last ones were Italian, and the small ones are this time. I’ve never taken to tasteless Spanish tomatoes.

Did the blog for a few hours and then made a mug of Thompsons Punjana tea using the new milk. All was fine. Had a mini-packet of Crawfords Mini-Cheddar biscuits, BBQ flavour. Nice enough for me.

Panic suddenly erupted! Cleaner Esther rang the bell and entered my three-roomed domain. Gawd, she can talk! Well, more like barked orders and demands. She likes to be in charge and is, actually. Haha! It’s just that she never stops talking as she moves from room to room. Then on her next visit, she’ll snap, “I told you!” when you say you can’t remember. It’s most likely that I heard just a mumbling sound from a distance; if I try to find what room she’s in to tell her this, she’s moved onto a new set of orders and demands for me… Hehehe! Despite all this, she’s a good-hearted soul, though. Scary, mind!

Pressing on with the blog, I stopped to check Amazon Tracker for the three things being delivered. The Scratchings, Pot Noodles, and Air Spray said earlier; Due at 13:00hrs. Then it was 17:00hrs, now it is 22:00hrs! The Dettol is due 11th to 15th February.

When the intercom rang. A delivery, now that’s service, I thought. The man came up to the flat, which was nice; Amazon usually leaves stuff down on the table in reception.

Great balls of fire! It was the Dettol being delivered?

Thanked the man (GPO, not Amazon) and went to look at the AMazon tracker site once again, thinking I’d got it wrong.

But no, there it was, ‘Arriving 11th-12th February! That really was good service then! I got the bottles stored away, had a wee-wee, and returned to check on the other goods expected. Still, 22:00hrs! Tsk!

.

Local News Snippets

Man ‘A’ complained to man ‘B’ about his car being stolen. Mine too replied man ‘B’. They both agreed that there is no deterrent nowadays, bringing back the birch, things of that nature. It turned out it was the son of man ‘B’ who had stolen it.

They may be working retired or in their adolescence,
But will do it again if released and get the chance…
Murderers, I mean belligerence, hatred, but no benevolence…
Lawyers in their defence, utter contabescence!

The violent animals live without respect for life…
Causing fear, being Mr Big… they want to cause strife…
They’ll attack anyone, a Policeman, child or a midwife…
Undoubtedly scum of the earth… Lowlife!

These figures look good,
And indeed they should,
Trust them… if only we could?
Too many lies the proletariat has withstood!

My gambling luck continues, abysmally…
Even on gambles that are supplied for free!
Never do I gamble confidently,
Has anyone never won at all on the Lottery?
Oh, yes, of course, there’s me!
May as well laugh about it, Hehehe!

The Hippocratic Oath,
Was wasted on this oaf!
He thought he was catch proof…
But he made a goof…
He’s obviously uncouth…
But still, sounds aloof?
But from under an HMP roof!

Somehow, I can find no sympathy for him?

————————————————————–

16:25hrs: Tuesday 8th February 2022

Got the Local News section above done, and made a meal. Feeling even more done-in, in now. Forgot to photograph the tray of fodder.

The Amazon man arrived, and Josie at the same time. Josie said one of the lifts were down, so he may be a while getting them up. This time the deliveryman brought all of the parcels up the door. I got them opened and stored away. The Amazon things after sorting, left a lot of cardboard needing to be rubbish sorted. So, I took them originally to go down to the recycling bin. But after waiting for a long time for the one working lift (elevator), I gave up and took them to the waste chute.

I kept banging parts of my anatomy in tiny the waste-chute room, as I tore the cardboard boxes to get them in the lid. I returned with a few bruises. Hahaha!

Too tired and mentally drained to do anymore computerisationing. Not that the food was special at all. Cornish pastie and some BBQ chips, no veg or desserts. I did manage to stay awake long enough to eat it, mind you.

Turned in the TV and fell asleep. But another fitful one, waking every few minutes it seemed. The evening Carer arrived, ringing the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chime, she came in. Another new gal to me, Carer ‘Ifra’. Another beautiful young thing. Confident in her duties, had a little natter with me… well, I had a natter with her. Hehe! Ifra took the waste bag with her on leaving, I had to force the treats on her, she chose a can of orange and an Easter egg. Lovely natured gal. Bade our farewells.

Washed the pots, and drifted off to sleep again, this time for three hours! Had a wee-wee, back in the recliner for a five-minute kip; woke again, another wee-wee, head down again… gave up and got up, but I was only half with it…

Inchcock Today: Monday 7th February 2022

Inchcock Today

Monday 7th February 2022

Another wicked nights sleep… although I did nod off about ten times, it’s just the repeated jumping back into wakefulness that annoys me. Another few nights of this, and I’ll have to beg the Doctor to see me. I’ve got her phone number, but I’ve not seen her for a while… now what’s her name? Hehe! Hope I can remember where the surgery is.

I lay there musing of this and that, then realised how late it was. I’m sure there was something I had to remember this morning… But the urgent need of the Porcelain Throne arose.

First, I had to remove my pyknic-shaped grossly stomached body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner, and catch my balance; which, considering my need for the toileting, was a long job. Risky, in fact, when Dizzy Dennis had me sat back down against my will, and Harold’s Haemorrhoids took a thudding, I genuinely feared the bowels may take action of their own accord! The second attempt was a success. I grabbed Metal Mickey and made my way cautiously but as fast as I dared to the wet room.

The bowels controlled the release – quick, splashy, leaving a mild churning in the stomach, all over in seconds. And what a messy job it was! Amazingly not a stinky-poo affair, though. Which surprised me somewhat, considering how the innards were still suffering after the evacuation had been completed?

A mammoth cleaning up was then needed. I did find some small areas that were splash-free, but not too many… that includes my rump and legs! An entire newly started toilet roll was needed, then the washing and disinfecting of my parts. Finally, the wet room furniture, escapage and squirts from the floor were done. This was not a good start to the day.

All refreshed, I meandered into the kitchenette, and I got the kettle on the boil. Feeling a smidge queasy now. So I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana instead of Glengettie (It’s not as strong as Glengettie is).

I left the teabag soaking to brew and took a photograph of the morning sky. Then noticed the sun was out high in the sky to my left, so got the Canon on the go again. A three-quarter moon, Tim Price will know what and this is. I live on in ignorance, but I love seeing the moon. Later on, I went into the balcony to take pictures of the morning view after it got a little lighter.

The first shot I took before opening any of the windows. The whole place instantly misted over as I opened the sliding balcony doors.

Hehehe! The view towards Nottingham City Centre had a fabulous hue to it. Not inductive to taking good photographic images, although, of course, this could be just my lack of skills, or better to blame the ailments or camera, yes?

I was impressed again with the end car parkers efforts to create artistic creations of how not to park. Haha!.

I took the brew of Punjana with me to the computer and got on with updating yesterdays blog. I spent an hour or more on it and had to nip back into the wet room again and use the Throne once more! Furthermore, it was a slow process, with Peripheral Neuropathy Pete kicking in and out with the senses of touch.

A lot cleaner this time, but still sloppy. Leaving the wet room, I gave Shuddering Shoulder Shirley a decent bang against the doorframe… Which set Shirley off for a while, but not too painful this time; bless her.

Washed, and as I got back to the computer, Carer Richard entered the flat. Nice to see this lad. We have a lot of things in common. We even share that both of us have Phimosis and Diabetes and are suffering from sleep deprivation in the same way; we keep repeatedly waking up with a jump; thus, getting any rest is not easy. Worse for Richard, with him still working for a living. Cheered me up with that thought! Hehehe!

Richard gave me the prescriptions, and I asked for a Galpharm anti-diarrhorea capsule; in fact, I took two, hoping to curtail Trotsky Terence a bit. I find this brand effective compared to the others I’ve tried… and a reasonable price, too.

I sensed that Richard was a smidge down in the dumps this morning, so I tied to cheer him up a bit. Gave him some extra treats and a bottle of flavoured spring water. He seemed brighter when he left. Taking the waste bags out with him to the chute for me.

I stopped computing and got the ablutions medications tended to. Now Hear This: I forgot to do the teeth, but and however… I did the shaving without a single nick or cut in sight!!! Class One, Grade A, Smug Mode Adopted!

Of course, that didn’t last long. Grunglecuds! Not sure which order these darned Whoopsiedangleplops took place. But this is what I managed to do while in the wet room:

  • Stubbed my toe in the shower against the server trolley.
  • Knocked the bleach over, and the bottle split. To ages to get it cleaned up.
  • Cut down the fingernail with the scrubbing (nail) brush.
  • Slipped and banged Cartilage Cathy’s patella!
  • Water not draining away very well in the shower.
  • Again, I stubbed my toe against the server trolley in the shower.
  • And yet again, on leaving the wet room after cleaning it up, I managed to walk into the door frame without any effort whatsoever! Things are not going well here!

Back on the computer, well behind with everything now. Got a belt-on with the blogging again…About two hours or so later… ♫Oh, Susana♫ chimed forth from the door chime.

It was ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Obergruppenfürheress and Lap-Top Dancer) Warden Deana. It seems that poor old Jean, or Joan, in the flat below, has water coming in through the ceiling of her wet room… I immediately thought I must have left the tap on! I admit I was sure I must have… panic struck me as we both went into the wet room to check things out!

A couple of months ago, I did leave the tap running, and it flooded the poor gal out; the guilt increased, shame as well…

But hen we got in,  as I say, I fully expected to see a flood of water filling the place, as before… Everything looked normal to Deana; I was just flummoxed yet relieved, oh, so relieved I’d not left the tap running!

The mysteries of Winwood Heights strikes again! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, creating ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes, botherations, to scare and worry the living daylights out of me. Confuse me, too!

I managed to get visits to Facebook, TFZer and Winwood Heights sites done. Get caught up with the WordPress reader. Then ended up making an order for Amazon. I found a new product on Amazon that should, well, it claims can help restful sleep! So I ordered one for Carer Richard and for me.

Then got the Health Checks done, albeit terribly belatedly.

The BP was another pleasing result. Sys 130, Dia 56, Pulse 72. Very good! 😍

The body temperature on the Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd, contactless thermometer, showed 33.4°c, yet another good result, methinks. 😍

It won’t be long before the evening Carer is due. So I went to make myself a good strong brew of Glengettie.

Took this photo of the evening view from the kitchen window.

Then this one, of the apparently underused central car park on Chestnut Walk. And the staff, Meridian and Nottingham City Homes, will have gone home. There must be a lot of folks still working, though.

It’s getting late now. I wonder what happened to the day? Where did it go? Hehe! Then, I took another shot of a similar view to the first one because the lighting had changed so much in such a short time.

I went on CorelDraw and opened the YourArea Emagazine from the Emails to see if any news items were worth making and saving for graphics to use in tomorrow’s blog. There were.

Care Olivier arrived, only her second calling on me. Nice young gal.

Got my nosh of sorts sorted out. It’s been a long day, and I was feeling somewhat drained now. There was no energy or inspiration for anything complicated, so I had some potatoes (buttered) and a pot noodle.

Changed ready for the head-down, got seated in the unwelcome recliner and… ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ from the door buzzer chimed away. An emergency plumber, from the Joans/Jeans flat below, to have a look at the possible reason for the leak. He did find a leak that he corrected, but he didn’t think that it would have been bad enough to have caused the damage that the gal suffered. Hmm?

I started to watch a Crime Documentary on the goggle-box… ZZZ!

Inchies Sunday… Not a pretty sight!

Inchies Sunday… Not a pretty sight!

Endamagements, Endangerments & Endurethments
Few Endearments or Enduring qualities
Not to mention the mixed-up Mental-Mind-Menagerie

The day started with my waking up in a panic…

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Ode To The Dream

The Good old days, some would say,
I’d say, somewhat bleak and acidulously,
Not so, cause, losing my hair, then-fiancee,
Getting shot and doing a drunken bungee…
I even got stung on Little Inchie by a bumblebee!
All the nurse said, taking out the sting? Was, Hehehe!

A lousy sleep again, and to a degree…
Woke up already depressed, did me!
In my protection pants, I found the pen & notepad,
With tons writing about a dream, I’d had…
I added it at the end of Saturday’s blog, begad!
————————————————————–

I kept waking up again all night. Stirred at 04:00hrs, in need of the porcelain Throne… which I visited and utilised for traditional reasons.

It tooCW01bk me an hour! This was due to faecal impaction, the likes of which put last week’s problems in the shade! I even got a few answers in the crossword book done! (Had to cheat on three, though, to get me going. Tsk!)

Made up the ode to the dream and put it at the end of yesterdays Inchcock Today posting. Took a snap of the dark, dank rainy morning and made a brew. It took a while, but I was happy-ish with it.

I decided today for a change. Made a start on Josie’s Sunday lunch treat. I’ll not put the potatoes in the chillies, and cut some spuds up into small chunks, so I can make them crispy in the oven. Then I can lay them atop her chilli-beef (canned), fresh mushrooms, tomatoes, water chestnuts and five different types of beans, with Worcester sauce, beef and BBQ seasoning.

No expense is spared when I treat someone; they get treated! Mind you, if she doesn’t like it, I’ll get a mouthful. Hahaha! If so, I’ll try to show you the scars.

As I checked on Josie’s cooking, it dawned on me that the so-called Meridian Health & Social Care Carer had not been… Again! For the seventh time! Grunglebogcraps!. So, it is a Saturday, there will… No! I’ll try that again… It being a Sunday, there is no one on-site at the flats, and I have to ring their number and get a Control Room, Birmingham, I think last time. And had to go through the rigmarole of explaining who and where I was, etc… Ah, well, here goes…

I found the Nottingham number required, and I gave them a ring. I got the being transferred message and waited for it to be answered; I made up an ode for later while I was waiting.

A lady answered, but only asked my name, no other details this time? Must they have put my number on the frequent caller list? Haha! The lady put on some music for me while she rang the Carer to see what was happening. She returned a few seconds later, telling me your Carer would be with me by 10:30hrs. I thanked her and got on with the blogging, wee-weeing and checking on Josie’s nosh.

I belatedly got the eye drops, ear drops and nasal spraying done and sorted. During which I got two calls from Meridian. The first at 10:40hrs told me the Carer would be there soon. Then at 10:50hrs, to say she was on her way.

I’d just put the chopped spuds in the oven after chopping them up. I wish now that I’d found some of the metal finger-end-chopping-up protections whatsits, whatever. Tsk!

Still, plenty of more finger plasters. And it didn’t bleed much.

Luckily, I was just returning from one of the umpteenth visits to the Porcelain Throne, and I was near enough to the intercom to hear it and see the light coming on. It was the Carer. A sweet-looking young person appeared worried and apologised straight away for being late (Elka, her name). The poor thing explained that no one at Meridian had told her I’d been put on her list! I believe her!

I made sure she didn’t fret and calmed her down by telling her that it was nothing new with Meridian. After she had done the medicationings, I offered her a choice of nibbles as she left, a lot less worried-looking and with a smile on her face! That made me feel good too!

I tackled Josie’s meal presentation on the tray. I was pleased with my effort for once. Of course, whether or not Josie likes the taste with the bit of curry I put in chilli will be found out tonight… no, tomorrow! But it certainly looked different with the roast potatoes cubed around the dish? I treated her to some mandarin sections in orange juice and some spray cream in a plastic pot if she fancied any with the fruit. A can of her favourite brand on G&T. I delivered it dead on time again, oh, I am good… Hehehe!

Josie opened the door, and immediately the roast potatoes seemed to confuse her. She wasn’t a fan, methinks. I thought they would tickle her pink… but no! My precious moments of satisfaction with my efforts crumbled. Ah, well, yer can’t win them all! At least the mandarins, G&T and Yorkie Bar got an ‘A’ from Josie. Hehe!

A smidge deflated; I said my farewells and returned to the apartment. Made the header for this edition of the blog, and for some unknown reason, the wee-weeing started back to its regular routine, which meant no time to get to the wet room, so the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) was utilised for the rest of the day and night. With a fair bit of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

The sun nearly made it out during a nice break in the showers. Quite colourful… until the rain returned. And the darkness with it.

Only a short period (An hour or two) of Herbert suffered up until now. I think he may have gone out.

I tried to defrag the computer and set up a regular defragging every month. But it seems the defragging took only seconds? Is that right? I’m lost again?

Working on the blog, and the sun had a second bash at coming out. I took this shot from the comfort of the computer chair.

BBC1, I got my nosh sorted out straight away. Seeing that Nottingham Forest was live on the free telly. I had a sense that Forest was going to win. Earlier I believed a 1-1 score and penalties – then while I was struggling painfully on the Porcelain Throne, it all came to me. Nottingham Forest really was going to win comfortably.

And boy, did they do it in style!

Premiership league Leicester City were not in the game. It is like Brian Clough’s glory days!

I celebrated by having two pasties, BBQ flavoured chips and tomatoes for my meal. A Cornish pastie, and a beef pastie, too boot! Not a lot!

Flavour-Rating: 7/10.

When I went to wash up the pots etc., the view outside looked amazing. Unfortunately, I have no idea why… I just couldn’t capture the scene as it looked to the eye… then again, with Cataracts, Glaucoma and Saccades in my eyes, it may not be so surprising. Humph!

After cleaning up and getting the kettle on, I spotted to my left, to the South, a cloudless patch of sky with the moon in it. So, I got the Canon and tried again for a decent shot… Best I could manage! You should have seen the other failed attempts. But I’ll not show them, too embarrassing! Haha!

Got off to sleep quickly again. But kept waking up so often… Humph!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Inchcock Today: Diary, including the Evening Dream – In Ode

Saturumday 5th February 2022

INCHCOCK TODAY

Back to the horrible nocturnalisationings, like sleeping poorly, again! Oh boy, am I pissed off with this or what! I spent more time awake than asleep last night!

Endlessly waking up with a jump, then working out what time and day it was, and where I was! It was soul-destroying. I should think I must have woken at least two dozen times, more often than not needing a wee-wee! Cursing at my situation every time! Then just when I decided to get up, I fell asleep for the most extended period all night! It lasted for about an hour.

Amazingly, I rose from the uncomfortable depths of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, with almost ease! There was a complete absence of any hassle from Reflux Roger, Anne Gyner, Toothache Thomas, Duodenal Donald, Shaking Shaun (although he had a few goes at me later in the morning).

Caught my balance and checked on the legs because Arthur Itis and CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) were both giving me pain the moment I got any weight (And I’ve plenty of that!) on the plates and pins. Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism, and veins were remarkable by their absence!

But it seemed that only CCP and Arthur were worth worrying about. Grrreat!

Indeed, both feet looked in such a fine state I had to take a photo of them. Were they really mine?

This doesn’t happen very often, so I was already preparing to go into Smug-Mode!), that the J Sainsbury order is due this morning, and I don’t have a lot of time to prepare for them, with my getting up so late. Partly dressed (that’s as far as I got all day, Tsk!), I wandered hobblingly into the kitchenette to make a brew of Glengettie. It came to mind…

While the kettle was boiling, I took this snap of the morning view, catching the edge of the window frame to give a perspective of the actual sizing. I’ve forgotten why I thought of doing this now.

As I turned to get the kettle, CCP gave way in the right knee; boy, did she pain me! The knee nearly gave way a few more times as well. I’m hoping nothing like last week with Cathy popping out of her patella socket happens again. The whole joint was aching for hours after this? Mmm?

I made a brew and had a mug of Thompsons Punjana. Took it with me to the computer and made a start on finalising yesterdays blog. And before I could get to drink it, “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫” music chimed up from the door buzzer. It was Carer Cassandra; she was in a much lighter mood this morning. (Meridian Health & Social Care do not have any bosses on duty at the weekend, and Nottingham City Homes have no ILCs (Independent Living Coordinators) working weekends either). I assume that this is why the Carers are a little more cheerful? Unless, of course, some Carer has not turned up or left the job (a lot of them do that!), and that they have been called in to cover, of course. Haha!

Cassie soon got the medications sorted, and we even ad a little natter… well, I did. Har-har! Cassie departed, taking my waste bag with her, and I went to make another mug of tea…

I knocked over the milk bottle, but it only fell on its side, which I appreciated muchly and took a photo of it to prove that I do sometimes have good luck… in a way.

The intercom flashed; I presume it sounded as well, but I couldn’t hear it. Pressed the release button, and within two minutes, the ♫Oh Susana♫ tune rang forth again”. Grand deliveryman took the boxes through to the kitchen for me. Only four items missing out of stock this week. Much better than last week’s 14! Got the fresh stuff sorted and stored away in the fridge. The fridge is now looking well-stocked again but not overloaded.

A few items of cleaning and bleaching were put in the cupboards in the wet room and kitchenette.

Putting the canned cupboard supplies away cost me a lot of time. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s nerve ends lost contact a few times while I reached up to put them on the shelves.

In fact, I ended up throwing a couple of items up to the top shelf, but I don’t think anything broke.

Having said that, I’m sure I have more than a few dented cans in there now. However, I’m well off for kinds of vinegar seasonings and have a few cans of various vegetables to fall back on… not literally mind. Although, if CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) has her way, shell have me over some time today. I can feel her efforts, little twinges, in readiness to floor me!

MedPhorpainGot the fodder away and applied some of the impotent, not fit for the job, but better than nothing, Phorpain gel rubbed well into the kneecap vicinity. I also took an extra Codeine 30g tablet. Because each time I put pressure in the joint, I can now feel a sort of grating from within the knee. Along with the seconds long periods of it feeling like it’s going to give, then it comes back? Ah well, fingers crossed!

I took a couple of pictures from inside the balcony. Of the end car park and Chestnut Walk below the front of the building. The red van man continues to park on the yellow hatched area and the White hatchback on the double yellow lines. And they say young men are bad drivers?

Whilst doing the blog, the lighting charged rather quickly outside.

Took a photograph of the changed sky colouring. I think this means rain on the way?

The weather made a liar of me within ten minutes, the sky turned blue, and a contrail showed up. Caught it with the Canon.

Back on the computer, I heard a clattering noise to accompany Herberts tap-tapping. I was sure it came from the kitchen, so I got up to investigate the clatterings source. But without any success, I’m afraid.

I had a go on Facebooking, Winwood Heights and the TFZer site. After about an hour or so, a loud (well, it would have to have been for me to hear it) similar metallic-sounding noise was heard again? I got a little confused as I could listen to Herbert above knocking away again. But, I felt the metallic sounds were coming from the kitchen. But, again, could find no cause of them?

All a part of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghost, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and pretentious, uppity, snobby, pernickety, smug, stuck-up, neighbour above, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? I really believe that it did not come from the sanctified, consecrated, uncommunicative, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, arrogant slimeballs apartment above. Mmm?

I thought later, could it be the contents of the food cupboards that I could not get in the cupboard properly?

So, off into the kitchenette for yet another investigation.

As I searched each cupboard again, silence fell from Herbert’s flat. Oh, I hope he’s not dropped dead or is poorly… Ahem!

I couldn’t find owt not in order, or that could have caused the mystery racket?

The expected rain was coming down.

Decided to do the Medical Checks and just look at the BP figures that I got from the sphygmomanometer!

The lowest I’ve ever had! Brilliant! But baffling.

This follows a series of readings: SYS 168 Dia 62, SYS 148 Dia 76, SYS 149 Dia 62, now the excellent SYS 117 Dia 66! Yee-Haa! Fully in the Green for the first time ever!

The pulse was 74, and the body temperature 34.6°c. I think that is okay too!

Then I gave the knee another covering of the Phorpain gel.

The right knee still looked a smidge knobbly and was still a grating feeling when I applied any pressure as I walked. It doesn’t look or feel like it

is Arthur Itis playing up, rather more as if it is Cartilage Cathy.

However, the spider and veins were all looking well down today. The DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis) clumps had disappeared!

Blimey, where’s the time gone to? The Carer will be here soon, and I’m not changed or had anything to eat yet! I treated myself to a lemon Viennese biscuit.

Got the oven on to use later to cook the beef pastie and some chips. Then plodded on with updating this blog.

A short bout of noise from Herbert. He just wants me to know that I have no chance of him stopping making noise, Bless Him!

I was preparing the late nosh, when the sound of ♫Oh, Susana♫, indicated the arrival of the evening Carer, Valerie tonight. I remembered I had an Easter Egg for her in the spare room, and I fetched it for her. She read some dates of the food in the kitchen for me, all were in date. Phew! She sorted the medications for me and was soon off, but tonight we did manage a mini natter, which was nice. Valerie took the waste bags to the chute with her. ♥

I got the meal finished and served onto the plate and tray. A sourdough baguette for one, which was delightfully tasty! BBQ seasoned sliced potatoes, yellow and red tomatoes.  I put a pot of dipping sauce on the tray, mainly for the sourdough-dipping. Hehe! The Cornish pastie was a different one this time. J Sainsbury’s pack of four. It shamed Iceland’s and Morrison’s ones, and had real flavour with not too much spicing in it… oh, and the sliced mini-bits of spuds were nice to the palette. A pleasant surprise for me. Overall, a Flavour-Rating of 8.2/10… got to be precise on these things. Hehehe!

The sleep was better than of late. Only about six shooting-awakes all night. On the last one, I woke remembering some bits of a dream I’d been having. There is an Ode to the Dream Ode, I wrote in the morning:

Ode to the Dream Ode

It’s a long time since I recalled summat I was dreaming,
In a room with many folks, like at a housewarming…
Female admirers around me were swarming!
Even in the dream, I didn’t become assuming…
Why me, all around were young men, convening,
Every one of them, the ladies were declining…
I could tell, to the lads, this was disheartening…
Even to me, this was a little disquietening!
It is me, that the girls wanted to be entwining…
What the heck is going on, happening?
One of the girls was particularly endearing…
Plump gal, about 35, and we hid, our bodies exploring…
She said she was pleased I chose her…Amazing!
How come all the girls suddenly find me appealing?
She said, Helen, I think, it was because of your blogging?
And we started cuddling and snogging…
“But, why, Helen?” I couldn’t resist inquiring…
“We’re all after your recipe for cheesy potatoes, darling!”
Which put an end to our session of pleasuring…
The dream seemed to morph into another rumination,
I was underground in a massive cave, fireflies flickering…
In the dark shadows in and out of view, flittering…
What, who they were, teased my imagination…
I searched, but I could not catch them, disheartening!
I could hear them babbling, mayhaps alien talking?
Aliens or ghosts, either way, I needed verification…
For the fireflies, they seemed to have an affection?
Then I heard a new sound, all around, tintinnabulation,
Damn it, the dream moved on to a railway station!
I was obviously waiting for a train,
Luggage around me, but no ticket to use, who to blame?
Searched my pockets, again and again…
My panic was becoming a pain…
The announcer said something about a train to Dunblane?
Walking on the platform, I saw Neville Chamberlain?
Waving an Amazon card at me, the dream started to wane…
I wanted to stay, learn 1940’s life, I tried to remain…
But, Herbert’s banging about woke me up again!

The Nottingham Lad’s Diary – With Odeing

Inchies Friday Diary: Festivities, gaiety and other fibs! Hehe!

Fort Thomas News Exclusive!

After several years of collecting scientifically challenging reference books, Professor Billum and his partner HRH Lisa, who are now stuck indoors due to the snow, are tackling the job of reducing the number of books in his basement library. He hopes to make room to expand his laboratory and thus, make more room for his medical experiments. Inchcock (rear) said; the task is phenomenal.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Inchies Friday Diary
Jollities, Festivities, Gaiety and other fibs!

I fang you! A decent kip for once; I reckon I only jumped awake about six times overnight. Not good, of course, but better than the preceding three evenings efforts.

By the time I’d clambered tottering dangerously out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, haemorrhoid-testing, rickety recliner and caught my balance, I realised how evil the eyes were this morning. So, first job the drops, let them settle, then put some of the sprays on them. After this, they were no worse, and maybe I imagined it but seemed a little better than when I woke.

The ablutionalisationing was tackled first, even before thinking of making a brew of Glengettie tea (Worrying that?). It might be the fact that each time I woke up during the night, spongy emissions of wind were evacuating out of the rear end, and Reflux Valve Roger was sticking a bit, then bursting forth, painfully for a minute or two? But, I felt a little stinky, I thought – mayhaps the rear end emissions were going on while I was asleep?

I got inside the wet room, and the mind meandered off on its own. I got the shower going! Boing! I totally forgot what the time was, and after getting the teeth done and shaving with only two tiny minor nicks, thus assuming a Smug-Mode… I still didn’t recognise what I’d done at that time, and I merrily whistled (Which is getting harder each time I lose another tooth) and sang gayly to myself as I started doing the medicationalisationings.

MedPhorpainWhich soon put an end to the Smug-Moding, whistling and singing! As usual, I got the potentially most painful job of cleaning and creaming Little Inchies fungal lesion out of the way first. Agony! There are no pain or problems with the Saccades eye drops, Harold’s Haemorrhoids cleaning and creaming, ears oiling, or Arthur Itis Phorpain gelling.

As I was about to increase my level of smugness, it dawned on what time it was… and I’d just used the noisy shower – Guilt overerflowethed!

A Carer arrived, name? Erm… Gorrit, Cassie! She was to take the laundry for me on Fridays, starting today. I had got the bag and capsules softener all ready for her. She did the medicationings, and I treated her to some nibbles and a drink, and off she went.

Onto the computer to finalise yesterdays blog and post it. A message came in on the mobile, it was from Iceland Foods… Ah, I hear you now asking – Why did the pillock have another order from Iceland? The silly old goat had one yesterday?

Ahem! Well, that would be due to my Wednesday and Thursday’s Whoopsiedangleplopping. I made some cheesy potatoes for Richard and got his visiting day wrong. So, I gave them to Valerie, who came. Then Thursday, when Richard was calling, I made another dollop of cheesy potatoes for Richard again – then, I had no potatoes left. Hahaha! So I made a minimum order for today to get some more spuds for myself to have. That’s about right, I think.

The rain started to fall, but not too heavily. Then began to get a little threateningly darker out there.

I took this picture from inside the balcony, too wet to open a window.

Shortly, the Intercom rangeth. The Iceland delivery had arrived. I pressed him in, and I hoped it would not be the same driver as yesterday, or he might think me a bit of an idiot having a dirty-great big order, then another on the following day. He’d be right if he did, by the way!

He carried the bag of spuds separately, only two carrier bags, and he took them into the kitchen for me. Haha! I wish the bloke yesterday had taken the eight bags into the kitchenette for me.

I thanked him and let him choose which can of plonk he fancied, and off he trotted with a cheery farewell.

I’m glad I remembered to get the drain-unblocker. Not a lot to sort out this time. I got some cheapo Beef Jerky to go with the freebies to make the minimum order. Oh, and some Cadbury mini rolls.

Sister Jane rang, or did I ring her? One or the other. Dementia Doreen again. Total blank on what we spoke of… indeed am I thinking of yesterday? Sad, innit?

I then rang Obergruppenfürheress, Warden and Ballet Dancer, Deana. Not seen her for a while. The gal was at home. She’d tested positive for SARS-CoV-2 and had been isolating. She hopes to be back on Monday. I said I was ringing to let you know you hadn’t collected your treat bag this week – now I knew why! Said they would keep until Monday. Haha! Nobody tells us owt, do they?

And an hour or so later, the door chime rang out its’ ♫Oh, Susana♫ chime, and in walked Carer Valerie. She had collected my washing for me, and she’d brought it up to me. Bless her cotton socks! She said she’s made sure they were dry enough for me.

So, I got off of the blogging and sorted out the clothes. By gum, that bag holds a lot of stuff. Hehe!

I got in a pickle, found the coat hangers, put some on the door, and spent a good while faffing about. Then realised I was not doing this in a planned, smooth way… Hahaha! 

I meant to put all the rousers together on a rack and jumpers shirts on the other.

Which seemed like a logical thing to do.

However, Dementia Doreen had other ideas for me. I ended up with a mixture of trews and jammies on one rack and trews, jumpers and shirts on the other. Ah, well, at least I got them hung so the creases can fall out a bit.

The toploftical, unforthcoming, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, sniffy attituded Herbert had been giving me some tapping on and off for an hour or so. Now, he’s just gone into Turbo-Tapping and Banging mode! What a Git! Mind you, let’s not forget my Whoopsiedangleplop with using the shower early in the day? The difference, I think, is snot-bag superior Herbert enjoys doing it on purpose?

I made a rare mug of Thompsons Punjana tea. As the rain stopped and the sun fought its way through to shine on Inchcock Towers… well, Woodthorpe Court then. Hehehe! I grabbed the Canon camera and took this photograph of the view.

Then the hungers-pangs began, and my desire for some more cheesy baked potatoes overcame me. I got up some steam (I was starting to feel a bit weary) and started to prepare the third on the trot (4th Counting Carers Richards and Valerie’s) Cheesy Baked Potatoes meal!

Cheesy Potato Nosh – Flavour Rating 9.3/10!

Note: Only the four half spuds? No, not self-control; I made eight and kept three to cool and have later on (Cunning?). I would have had four, but I dropped one when putting it from oven to pot – it splattered onto the floor and a slipper, which both needed attention, cleaning sorting out. I may have muttered something along the lines of “Oh, bother?” Then, I feasted on the meal, put the tray on the Ottoman, passed wind and belched… and Flake-Out-Time!

Herbert started clanking and clunking away again, and I woke to his mechanical overture. Hehe! Pig!

Luckily it didn’t last too long this time. And I drifted off again. To be woken by the tune of “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chiming out. The evening Carer had arrived. She was in a rush, so no chinwagging was permitted on this occasion. Off she trotted, bless her.

I spotted the meal things on the Ottoman, and I took them to be washed and put away. Noticing the lack of wonderful sun-setting after three days of gorgeous one, I stood and had a perusing of the evening sky. I realised that even with the absence of the usually vivid colours for the last few days anyway, there was still a beauty to be beheld.

Getting daft or soft on my old age, or not?

I went onto the computer to work on the blog and visited Facebook, the TFZ and Winwood Heights sites.

Went on CorelDrawing; Herbert was doing the odd banging about, so it was not until gone midnight before I got my head down; off I went and slept a bit better, only about five shooting awakes.

ODE OF THE DAY

Wants (Peace) & Not Wants (Herbert)

Cataract operation, before it’s too late – appealing!
A friend with time for long chinwagging,
Someone who doesn’t hate or finds me appalling…
But I don’t blame them, and that’s a bit galling!
One tablet to stop my shaking and trembling…
The ability to once more try cartwheeling?
The willpower for me to stop earwigging,
A better than Warfarin pill, stop the haemorrhaging,
But most of all, I’d want, after some deep thinking…
The end of people, domineering,
And those who go around sneering,
Those who cannot care have empathy are non-obliging…
The know-alls who go around rubbishing…
Rushing, superior in outlook, verbally scathing…

Compassionless animals, one lives above me,
Above my little independent living flat, you see…
I nicknamed him Herbert, and he’s not trouble-free…
He makes noise at all hours, sometimes the whole day,
He’ll start again today, I guarantee…
He acts superior, and nonchalantly,
But, the things he’s roisterously making go to charity…
The housing officer says no cause to moan, apparently,
So I won’t, or might lose the flat, alackaday!
So untouchable Herbert will carry on noisily…
He’ll keep waking me at night, arbitrarily,
I must resist responding early morningly…
What can be done redeemingly?
Two wrongs don’t make a right, seemingly…

KEEP SAFE IN THE SNOW
Keep safe all of you, affected by the snowstorms please,
If you can, avoid driving and soirees,
Polish your ottomans and tallboys?
And for even more joys…
Try canned beans and saveloys?
Sew the missing button on your corduroys?
Have warming wine delivered by Pomeroys?
Play great music, possibly by the Beachboys?
But don’t contact the killjoys!