Functional Neurological Disorder

Inchy Today: Tuesday 1st April 2025

/ Inchie / 11 Comments

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I’ve no claims to anything academical,
I’m interested in anything apodeictical,
Like the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle,
Some claim that he used to hit the bottle,
I used to drink a lot, being self-critical,
The only trait we share? Being alcoholical,
But I can auger, but not astrological,
My success rate is astronomical,
I see this world is not ameliorable,
I know why Starmer is amerceable,
Takes backhanders, is unprosecutable,
His promises are agathokakological,
His cohorts are also not punishable,
As they appease the Oligarchical,
I seek words that are encourageable,
Proletariats are now extirpable…
MP’s morals uncouth, aethereal,
They lie, seek self-profit & teazle,
HMGs are foxy, furtive, deceitful,
Slithery, snidey, sidestepping, hurtful,
They should be accusable and arrestable,
Indeed, are they executionable?
Has HMG been proven unreliable?
Who takes over? That’s questionable!
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I had the usual broken sleep, but at least this time, it was broken far fewer times, and I got four½ and a half hours! I was too late to complete the ablutions before the Asda delivery arrived. 
I collated the things that I needed to take to the Audio Clinic and visited the Porcelain Throne. It was a messy! Trotsky Terence affair.

06:20hrs: I checked emails to confirm the timing of the order. 0700 > 0800hrs.

So, I got the computer to start this blog. Soon kicked off, as is typical when I am in a ‘feeling the pressure mode’ over the clinic lifts and appointments. Foggy-Brained!

GC Trolley indoorsI’m not sure when the Caregiver will arrive, but I hope he will be here for the delivery to help get it in. Then I can store it away. And get on with the hurried ablutions, medicalisationings, and risky job of getting the trousers on. I’ll get the things to take into the three-wheel-wheeled-walker while I think of it.
I must get down in the lobby at 10:30hrs so as not to miss the lift, which may come early or late, depending on how many others they have to pick up and drop off en route.

The carer arrived as I was taking in the Asda food.
After I’d got all the bags in the kitchen, I joined the Caregiver, who put the medications and socks on. Then, as I was going out, I asked him to help me put on the trousers and shoes.

Pretty colours this morning

Asda delivery

Ready-made meals (Almost)

I got the Carer’s & Nurses nibbles & drinkies topped up on the table and cabinet.

The computer stopped allowing me to upload photos. I had to delete the few I’d not put on and clean the drive with cCleaner again. I’ll try later when I get back from the Audio Clinic. That was the plan!

It was a heck of a rush getting the stand-up wash, shave, and medications done. I flapped a bit, getting all the paperwork and the list of things I needed to take with me. I checked the EasyLink lift.

On the way down to the foyer to await the lift, I dropped some bits off in appreciation of the help Jenny and Frank have so often given me on their floor. I went down in the lift, worrying if I’d forgotten to take anything. I got seated in the chair and got the camera out as I checked the bag of things in the trolley-walker. 10:15hrs, plenty of time.
They have replaced the stolen wall clock. It has fancy smaller figures, but I’d had my wristwatch on.

Almost straight away, I found myself fighting off the closing eyelid. The tiredness and fatigue were back!
I’m sure I nodded off momentarily a good few times. But at least when the driver comes to the foyer door, she/he will see me even if I’d nodded off.
But the frequency worried me; I really was struggling to stay awake. Likely it was the comfort of the chair that I wasn’t used to, having to use the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner.

I was concerned that I may have nodded for a little longer than I thought; I may have missed the driver from EasyLink. Guilt raised its ugly head.
I waited until I should have been starting the appointment, realising that I must have made a faux pas or they had trouble getting a driver. Not knowing, I decided to believe that I must have made a Whoopsiedangleplop. And  ! This turned me swiftly into a curmudgeonly grump!
I walked along the connecting passageway to Winwood Court in case they (EasyLink) called at the wrong block of flats. Nope!
Back misrably to the flat amidst the depression, self-lambasting, and the catheter bag getting overfull!

I sorted out the waste from the earlier delivery and got the bags down the waste chute.

I decided to prep the meal for the microwave later: Colcanon mash, minced beef, gravy, carrots, peas, and water chestnuts. I put it in the fridge. I also turned on the computer to keep this blog up to date. I hoped the phone would ring to clarify whatever mistake I’d made. It did!

Frustrated, Depressed & Self-Loathing…
CONFUSED! – HAD ENOUGH!
I can’t take any more of these problems!
ARITHMAPHOBIA TO BLAME, this time!

What happened, as I see it.

The pleasant lady from EasyLink telephoned to confirm that Wednesday’s lift to the Audio clinic was pick-up at 10:25 and lift back at 13:00 hrs!
When I checked the timings yesterday, I must have been the arithmaphobia. I’d already got it down for Wednesday but got mentally entangled with the digits again.
So, I’ve got all this to do again in the morning!
This sounds scary to me, actually.

I got the meal cooked and eaten.

Lightened a smidge, but I was so annoyed at myself!

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ALL THE BESTEST!
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Inchy Today: Monday 31st March – Nurses Visit Cancelled

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

– – – GRIM REAPERS DELIGHT – – –– – – STARTED WELL! – – –
– – – Calendar Changed – – –
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– – AXIOMS WARNING ODE – –
I selected my lifelong axioms,
Since which there’s been ablations,
The occasional abstentions…
Some short-lived additions,
After some cerebrations…
Many more reconfigurations,
Now not looking like my intentions,
More like pseudo-inventions,
This gave me mental-contusions,
To mingle in with my confusions,
Did I opt for these delusions?
A list of unwanted dissentions,
Life should come with enchiridions,
With specific instructions!
Beware of HMG’s cacodemons…
Politicians who talk in idioms,
Caution with HMG’s maelstroms,
Dating ovolactovegetarians,
Eating together? Prognostications!
Put oligarchs on your pogroms,
Learn from quinquagenarians,
Fear the con artists’ clarions,
Dementia attacks parts of the cerebrum.
Check for correct reflections,
Fear not Government defections,
They think they’re all phenoms,
Anticipate political desertions,
Believe not their tergiversations,
Recreancies, disloyalties, deceptions,
Their deceit, lies & fabrications,
Codology, slyness & defraudations
This is the same for all Nations!
To survive, you’ll need patience…
Sufferance, fortitude, & resolution,
Armageddon, there’s no solution!
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I spent the night more awake than sleeping, which is not different from the last few nights, following the massive 5 hours of sleep I got four nights ago.
The mini-seizures returned this afternoon. I wonder where they disappeared to so suddenly?
The feeling of fatigue is still with me. I have kept feeling I need to sit, rest, and sleep all the time recently. Sometimes, I can nod off quickly, but within a couple of minutes, I’m shooting awake again without any tangible. A bit like when nothing had changed from when was with me. No questioning the facts. That was winning the mood stakes again this Monday. What things will be like tomorrow worries me. I’ve got to get up early to do the ablutions, or maybe do them tonight when I should be catching up on my sleep. Might be best for me to leave the nocturnal pouch on until it is near the time for the lift, and make a list of things needed to take with me. I dread having to go all through the process of booking appointments at the Audio Clinic, and then getting the lift sorted for when I’ll have to go back to pick-up to the clinic to pick up the refurbished or new hearing aids weeks later.

Thank heavens that Carer Joe sorted them out for me this time. I’ve got on the list; Cash to pay for the lifts, Reading glasses, crossword book and pen, Bank Card, and remember to take the non-working hearing aids with me with the others when I leave the flat. Oh, ‘eck! I just remembered. I’ve got a food order coming in the morning, too. Well before the lift is due, but I might have to do the ablutions and medications very early in the morning or tonight.
I’m sure I’ve missed something on the list.

I know the chances must be zero, but I’d love to see the lady I spoke with last time I went to the Audio Clinic. I listened to her problems, the lady has as well. I could have cried for her. I think she enjoyed being able to talk to someone non-medical about the problems she is having. Of course, I knew how she felt. She said that she told the doctor about some of the things that were happening, and she was sure the doctor just didn’t believe her. I didn’t get her name or number, but I might be brave enough to ask her if she is there again in the waiting room. She told me it took the medics three years to diagnose it.
I just looked it up on Google; In the UK, an estimated 50 to 100,000 people are affected by Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) in the community, with about 8,000 new diagnoses per year. The annual incidence is estimated at 4-12 per 100,000 people. 
My doctor is in denial about me having it and is putting it down to my .
I waffled a bit there, and now I’m even more behind with the flipping blog! Sorry, I have to rush!

This first photo saved alright, but I lost several others.

Two hours later.

Another half-hour.

After sunset shot. Nice!

More photos off into the ether, and four joined them when they disappeared from the file! Arrgh!
Including the beef in black bean meal photo.

I’m unsure when or why I took this one. The bladder waters. It is possible that it is an older photo that was missed or that it was used earlier.

Worried about Tuesday’s trip to the Audio Clinic.
There will not be much on Tuesday’s blog. This one is already terribly short on photos and detail.

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ODE 2: TIPS (Part 2.143)
Seek not what you fancy,
But what to you is needy,
Definitely owt urgently,
Try to live amenably, amiably,
Things happen accidentally…
Which can affect you mentally,
Living cheekily, cheerily, chirpily…
Sounds wonderful to me,
This ode is wrote circumlocutory,
I’ll let you know about my catatony,
When I read it up in my dictionary!
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Hahaha! Cheers Each!
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Inchy Today: Sat-Sunday 29/30th March 2025

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

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The Carer took shots of the much-improved Vasculitis-Vanessa’s right leg and ankle.
Improving nicely now.
Although the ankle is still resistant. I decided not to ask the lad to put any squabs or bandages on tonight.
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I had a good meal last night. I gave it a 9/10. As I watched the Brighton v Nottingham Forest FA Cup Match, Sister Jane reminded me of it being on TV when I phoned her. While eating and watching the match, I kept falling asleep. Dagnab it! But the Carer came and woke me up, then the surgery telephoned me. Then the water alarm activated. Then I had to empty the catheter contraption, return to the chair, and doze off while the match was on. I decided to give up. I was just too tired, and I thought I might get a decent night’s sleep in for once. Hahaha!
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>>>>>Starmer Ode No.325¼<<<<<
He’s a Scrooge-like abrogator…
Cut fuel help for every pensioner,
A Labour Party principles nullifier,
Ignores the core values of Labour,
Fuel and food prices get higher,
He takes many an illegal backhander,
Proletariats’ futures looking bleaker,
Takes the maximum self-paid bonsella,
Checking MPs’ expenses is not on his agenda!
I worry for Keir’s mental-cenesthesia,
As he seeks freebies at his many colloquia,
He may not be farceur, but he is farcicaler,
Politically, a liar, deluder, and deceiver,
A Labour supporters faith-severer,
The Labour voters own derogator,
What happened to nationalising power?
And British Rail’s return… he’s a fibber!
He’s Europe’s finest thimblerigger,
I would willingly handle his vivisepulture!
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Another repeated waking-up with jumps nights sleep. I had a long verbal and then physical tussle to convince the brain to get the reluctant body out of bed. This took a while and some discomfort.

My mind wandered as I sat there on the Throne. Tomorrow is the Audio Clinic appointment. I must prepare everything needed beforehand. The following shave was a bloodless affair. Yes!
Apart from forgetting to put the cream on my ankles, tummy, Germoloid groin, and grapefruit-sized right testicle and apply the eye spray, it all went well. Haha! Oh, I did stop the bleeding , and I used the ultra-stinging Terbinafine to stop the bleeding. Went back in the wet room to olive oil my earholes and other missed medicationalisationings. 

The young Caregiver arrived as I was finishing making up the waste bags. No leg bandaging needed. Joe issued the Medications. Then he checked the taps, fridge door, and stove and trotted off.

I turned on the computer and started this blog, then worked on the Ode for Tuesday in Word.

12:45hrs: I finally got the order to transfer, but now the photos are not being moved!

I’ll keep trying and surviving, and possibly start crying!

FOOTBALL ON TV
The Carer arrived. He said he would look at my emails later tonight.
WEIRD SEIZURES: This did not happen due to sudden fatigue. Not a seizure as such. I nodded off and woke repeatedly until 03:15 hrs, when I suddenly woke up and stayed awake. I was in a confused picklement. No memory of a carer calling, but they had been because they’d fitted the nocturnal night bag, and I could taste the Warfarin. The last call, I remember bits of, the diabetic socks coming off, I think I may have dropped the tablets. One was on the carpet when I eventually got up.

Piccies that I managed to save later.
Not sure if the day is right.
I think it was an afternoon shot, so I must have got up sometime after the fatigue set in.
I’m not sure if I got the meals in order.

The Weirdest Day of March!
Sensations like never before. The sudden falling of fatiguedness, so few seizures (as I recognise them). 
I genuinely think I nodded and woke dozens of times throughout the late afternoon, night & morning.
I somehow felt only weary, yet not overly tired or exactly poorly. Manifested mightily and toyed with my brain throughout. It was a bizarre, eerie, idiosyncratic, schismatic, almost other-wordly insanity-inviting day!
Half in depression – half in la-la land.

Loosing My Grip on Life’s Sinking Ship!
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But I’ll not give up… Oh, No! (Well…) Hehe!

Inchy Today: Saturday 29th March 2025

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

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Seizures increased – Falls decreased!
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ODE WRITTEN MIDST MULTI-SEIZURES
I’m awaiting my next seizure, unobjectively,
Hoping for a mini-one, prejudicially,
But to me, even more essentially…
Depression’s bothersome, fundamentally,
The crux of the matter, that drives me potty,
It can be instant or come on accretionally,
The reason & cure leave me in abstrusity,
I get the feeling of being blameworthy,
Self-hating, ashamed, definitely guilty!
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I can last for minutes or a marathon,
My neurotransmission can worsen,
They’re in the hands of the neurosurgeon,
But who can help with my depression?
Or is that too hopeful or a silly question?
I’m developing self-opprobrium,
Life’s a struggle, a daily ordalian,
Depression hits, I change into a chameleon,
Into a terrible bellyacher, curmudgeon!
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Depression Duncan brings inner-anger,
He’s a sulking, self-pity, inferiority inflictor,
A mind-impinger, thought blocker…
A Peace, rest, concentration inhibitor,
I can’t help but to feel I’m inferior,
Depression Duncan, so frustrating… Grrr!
Comes & goes at his leisure…
No reason or logic whatever,
I’ll not be free of him until I pass over!
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Will Duncan still be with me (shiver)?
That’s the first thing that I’ll inquire,
When I’m interrogated by St Peter?
I hope not; I don’t know the answer,
It’s peace that I need to acquire,,
I’ll cope with Anne Gyna & PN Peter.
Not Depression Duncan’s hellfire!
Death for me has just one bother…
Will I go to Hell with Starmer?
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After five hours of waking up from broken sleep, I nodded back off for another full hour. I woke up with depression—Duncan in full flow. It took a few hours for him to give up getting at me. When I rang Sister Jane about the Nottingham Forest Cup Match being on BBC 1, I realised he had gone.
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After over an hour of Ccleaning, deleting photos and graphics, the computer allowed me to save what I’d done on CorelDRAW and pictures from earlier. I came across this snap of a meal—with grading already done. Fair enough. I’m not precisely sure what day it was from because when I deleted the photos to make space, I got in a tangle timewise with them. I think it was yesterday or thereabouts. It was almost certainly taken this year.
I remember not cooking the lamburgers anywhere near enough, but thought I had, but no. I’m beginning to feel it was last night now, but…

The clock calendar was changed; better late than never. Then, the Porcelain Throne was needed.

Messy!

Again, but only for a couple of hours, after the Carer’s firsr visit, Duncan departed, and took over for an hour, or so, until once more and profound depths of misery and an uncontrollabe irascibility, self-petulance and testiness, were suffered. Deeper than yesterday’s, I think. But then, how would I know in my state?
Care Joe removed the dressing from the right knee’s wound and then put a fresh one on for me. It’d been leaking thinned blood(lymph fluid, I assume). I’ll inform the district nurses on Monday. Why does this always start on a Saturday?

After the Carer’s second call, I took snaps of the view from the kitchenette window.
Straight ahead
To the right, catching the balcony
To the left, with darker clouds

Not well, bleeding and seizure have really kicked off.
I’ll do a catch-up, hopefully tomorrow.
I’ll call for help now.
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TTFN
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Inchy Today: Thur/Fri March 27-28th 2025

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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Life has so many distractions,
And more than enough perceptions,
Of our needs and conceptions,
There’s a shortage of antediluvians,
Enforced bourgeoisification’s,
Wayward silly compunctions…
So many mental configurations,
Constant demoralisations…
Neurological dysfunctions,
I lose it if I get any distractions…
Short-term memories? Become delusions,
Taps left running when I do the ablutions,
Fridge and freezer doors left open frustrations!
Sleep & rest are not in my programme,
My parents were plebs, not patricians,
I’m envious of quinquagenarians,
Coping with mental maelstroms…
Like this ode, life has too many idioms,
Are there any cope-with-life’ enchiridions?
No avoiding the gloom and dissensions,
Rubbish issued by the epistolarians,
Lies from Starmer & his MP archvillains,
And I’m in a mess with my prescriptions!
No signs or hopes of any augmentations,
I struggle with life’s daily cacodaemons,
Will I end up in Hell’s cauldrons?
Many old men turn into curmudgeons,
My depressions are darker, not cerulean,
My ponderations are labyrinthian,
But I give the Carers my laudation!
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Gawd Strewth!
What’s going on here? Now rest, no time, hassle, botherations… and unbelievably busy!
Contacted by email, telephone, or text today, and all needed time and concentration to decide what was what. I think I was in a spate of mini-seizures when each contact was made.
I got myself into a good het-up state, all worked up, and believe it or not, I lost the page with the details of each call from the notebook. Unreal!
I can’t recall many details, and this list I’ve dragged from my not-interested-brains memory box will likely be out of sync timewise.
Obviously, the domestic work of cleaning the wet room has still not been completed, after five days of hoping to find the time and struggling to catch up with my beloved blogging. I may have missed one or two off of the list.
Location: On the toilet – The landline rang.
I got to it too late. Darn-it!

Location: In the kitchen. The mobile rang.
I got to it in time, but I could not even recognise the voice of Caroline, the Doctor’s Surgery Nurse.
She rang back on the landline. She asked many questions about my health & concerns, bless her.
She will see me, possibly next week, but I’ve forgotten the date on the magically disappearing note sheet. She is going to put me through a  Cognition Test regarding the dementia.

Location: On the Computer: The bank called; they would like me to call in the bank and speak with them. I explained the changes I was in at home, and they said to ring back when things have calmed down… Calm Down? For Me? Come on, “I’m obviously fated to confusion, tiredness and depression along with the seizures for however long I’ve got left”

Location Kitchenette: The Social lady called on the mobile. I can’t recall who it was or what was said, but it sounded like her voice. I asked if whoever it was could ring on the landline. But they did not call back. I was having a seizure at the time.

Location: In the wet-room, changing protection pants… I had a leak.
The door chime rang out. But when I got to the door, nobody was there. On the way back in, I knocked over the airer, which fell onto the second airer, and they both collapsed together. I then had to sort out 11 pairs of socks back into matching pairs and relay them on the airers. I didn’t mind at all. Liar!

Location: When the mobile burst into life, I was bent down at the freezer, trying to find the boil-in-the-bag of beef in gravy. British Gas couldn’t understand a word he or it said.

So many photos would not fit today. Well, wouldn’t save to file for me?

I need help again. I won’t be a happy chappie if things don’t get less harassing, gloomy, and mistake-ridden, or Anne Gyna and the Seizures don’t give me a break. I’ll have to stop doing this blog!

If it’s not CorelDraw, it’s Sandra’s Seizures, Glaucoma Gladys, etc. Something is always costing me precious time every day. I don’t think I can carry on much longer, and I’m not sure I want to.
It’s getting to me. Far less often does visit me nowadays.

Everything is a failure and hard work. I’m struggling with everything now. Nothing is getting solved, cured, or any easier or better. Sorry I had to say this!
I need so much help. I appreciate that it will not be coming. I’ll try to continue, even if it’s only an Ode now and then.
I have to accept how things are, I know. But is it worth it? Sorry again.

Morning.

Minutes later.

I sorted the clothes scattered all over the place to dry when they had been returned from the laundry. Taking this shot caused me a nasty near-tumble. Thankfully, Carer Ahmed helped me.

Bottom field and houses with some people who have family, can walk unaided, get their Glaucoma operated on, clean their wetrooms, possible have a computer or know how to get help with it when it plays up, maybe they don’t have a mechanical heart aorta, legs bandaged to counter the attentions of , both & giving way, in both knees, , , , , both their hearing aid broken at the same time. With , ,  , suffer from , , Taking Tumbles, a day, to keep the doctor away, , , , , , , , , , , use a , or take about two hours to get their done, or have .
Or any of my less frequent visitors, like , Four times a day (8) self- administered ENOXAPRIN injections,, , , ,
Is it a sticking valve, a present after the heart operation, or alternating between each visit with ?
I feel awkward & awful now! Tsk!

My Worst Depression Ever!
I’m embarrassed! But this is what I wrote while in a mega-depression. I hope the doctor reads it.

It’s brightening up a bit.
I wish I was!

Ablutions medications were sorted.

Taken from the computer chair through the balcony. Taking this, Anne Gyna kicked off.

Lovely tasting nosh.

Many figures to be seen in these clouds.

Sister Jane in her early years! c.1953?

Sister Jane in my flat. 2021

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All The Best!
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Inchy Today: Wednesday 26th March 2025

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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Past & Present Thoughts
So many things I have not achieved,
Things unknowingly that I’ve advocated,
Things to which I have affiliated,
Wrong understandings assumed…
Opportunities that have been annulled,
Politicians’ lies that I’ve absorbed!
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So often I’ve been beguiled,
I’ve also a record of being brabbled,
I’ve been shot twice and bastinaded,
PN made me often bloviated,
Several times been mugged, & burgled,
Several times a day, I get baffled!
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I don’t want to be cryopreserved,
Or have any part of me conserved,
I’d like to have my cancer cured,
And to painlessly pass a turd,
I’d love to be less mentally tormented,
I’ve no fears of being terminated!
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In my youth, naughtily I malappropriated,
From guilt, could I be manumitted?
With a nurse that was matriculated,
We twinned, merged, merrily mangled,
Verily, this memory is now mullered,
I loved it when we miscegenated!
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I may have, at times, over-pontificated,
Nowadays, I’m more likely to be perturbed,
Many of my plans have been precipitated,
Not one of them now, have prevailed,
Far too often, I’ve been pasquinaded,
I’m a proletariat, pseudo-sophisticated!
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My life was challenging, fun, spirited…
Worked its way to getting shemozzled,
Little happened for which to be satisfied,
How often do you think I was shanghaied?
No opportunities to be a symposiast,
Now mentally & physically subjugated!
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Now, put mildly, I often feel depressed,
Disregarded, unnoticed or uncontented,
Always when Depression Duncan visited,
Doreen Dementia’s confusion is unprecedented,
Short term memory, to the ether, unremembered,
Long term? That’s nowhere near as affected,
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Thinking back to do this ode, I excogitated…
It’s not really clear or well elucidated,
But I was not very well educated,
I considered having it expurgated…
But that would entail it being expedited,
Although it’s no worse than I expected,
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Help with the laundry from Carer Ahram. Who also went through the paperwork with & for me.
Telephone calls from the Doctors’ Surgery. 

The INR DVT Clinic, confirmation of the INR being too high and to make sure I’d got the new dosages sheet. Reminding me to check that the carers are giving me the correct dosage of Warfarin. The lady sounded a little concerned about this.

Matron Jackie telephones. She is going to try to get me help with the shopping. I will only need one trip to Sherwood a week, and it will only be for an hour each week. She also said she would see about getting me a wheelchair for the Caregiver to use to take me shopping. I explained this to Arham, a very helpful Caregiver. Thanks, mate.
I spent ages drying the returned laundry on the two airers. Ahram loaded them up for me. Photos below.
So I didn’t get this blog started until late Thursday morning. Gonna be a quickie again.

Nocturnal pouch

Calendar Clock

Laundry waiting to go.

Damp laundry put on the two airers, by Ahram.

Dressing gowns hung up.

Gobble, Slurp, lips smacked!

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TTFNski!
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Inchy Today: Tuesday 25th March 2025.

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

– – Jolly Good Day! – –
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My beloved Tree Copse: free of adversity,
I used to walk through it, daily,
Stopping to talk to a bush or tree…
Or a feral rat, a being-walked doggie,
Crows, insects, I once saw a garganey,
I loved these copse-walks initially,
But now I’m not up to it, even weekly,
I can see it from the flat’s balcony,
But it wrangles me intractably,
My health I consider detestationally,
I can’t even walk up the entrance pathway,
Cartilages, Arthur itis, Peripheral Neuropathy,
Glaucoma, Anne Gina, too much you see…
I adored getting out & about, naturally,
Maybe one day? I’m thinking miraculously…
But I won’t, I’ll never have the ability,
Bad enough being incapable physically,
Reality is harder to cope with mentally,
I wonder if the plant life & animals miss me?
Bird poo, that dropped on me seemed aimingly!
Those crows knew how to poo accurately,
Trips & tumbles, bites & stings for free,
I miss my daily walks so atrociously,
I can’t manage the uphill bit unaidedly,
The downhill bit would be just as risky,
This ode has brought on a feeling of inefficacy,
I still love my Tree Copse, albeit incongruously!
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I had a slightly better kip last night. Still broken up, but at least I know why this time. The guilty ailment was chiefly . She was persistent with it. I think I may have had a few nocturnal seizures as well. So many wake-ups, but my response was different for some of them, and it took me a lot longer to get back to sleep after a few of them. There were none of the episodes and a few of the . Did you see that? I was being diagnostic, investigative, and problem-solving, on the verge of being semi-logical in my assessment of the night’s kipping difficulties?

I removed the night bag from the day bag, and bending down, I got a visit from … that was a bad one. In the late afternoon, while on the computer, he called again and was even more effective. I had a good few today.

I perked up a little, made a brew of Glengettie, and turned on the computer to finish Tuesday’s blog. It was a breeze! But it took me five hours due to basic errors a ten-year-old would be proud of.

It looked bleak outside, with a bit of drizzle.I did some hoovering and sorted the waste bins. Then, I felt guilty about the mess in the wet room that still needed to be cleaned, so I went to the wet room.
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I only mixed up with the gear I just stacked up to make room to do the mopping! I landed on the pile of the shower chair, buckets, mops, bowls and towels, knocking them over and hitting the trolley and the cosmetics, gel, disinfectant, bleach, aftershave, toothbrush, scissors, and some medications. Now I’ve a bruised rib cage.
Miraculously, I didn’t go down to the floor and stayed on top of the rubbish. So, at least I didn’t have to crawl to the junk room on all fours to drag myself back onto my feet! Phew! Thanks lads! 🙏🏼

The Caregiver arrived, Ahram, I think. Or was it Joe? It was almost definitely one or the other. After I got the medications sorted and my socks on, the door chime rang out. It was the Asda delivery. While I was taking in the groceries, I had another of those danged dangerous Whoopsies!
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My carer Ahram was assisting me to get the groceries in the door, and , gave way and I dropped the walking stick. I slid down with my back against the wall and plumped on a pack of six (approx. 5-inches high) mini-mineral spring water bottles onto my bum. With both knees doubled up, Arthur Itis and the Cartilages were agony!
For more than one reason. Both knees, the cartilages and as I found out later, the bleeding haemorrhoids where I landed on the water bottles!
Both chaps set about getting me up again. I thanked them for being there at the right time to rescue me, get me on my feet, and get me into the chair! Carer
Ahram set to putting the fodder away, so there were no photographs of the food, as there usually would be. When I recovered, I took a snap of the fridge, freezer, and the bladder-demanding water.

The fridge.
The freezer.
The waters.

I took another kitchen window shot.

The day’s original Beloved Copse shot.

To the left of the window and down a bit.
(Do you recall ‘The Golden Shot’?)

The time has flashed by with little getting done other than the blog.
The wetroom is still in a mess.
The Haemorrhoids have stopped bleeding at last.
I think I’ve gained some more bruising on the ribs and back. And for some reason, my top and bottom lips are now bleeding. Huh!

Will I ever again get a decent injury-free day?
Or a night with some unbroken sleep?
Silly questions to ask!

A ready-made beef in gravy with colcannon mashed potatoes. I added the last can of minced beef in gravy, carrots, and peas. Added some Marmite to the mixture and stirred it all up. Just four minutes in the microwave & it was ready-to-eat. It tasted superb! It was so good that I didn’t eat any of the bread.

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Constipation, Anne Gyna & Seizures,
Two tumbles, Trouble w’ catheters,
Doreen Dementia, more Accifauxpas,
Arthur Itis, Peripheral Neuropathy,
Harold’s Haemorrhoids were oozing,
Glaucoma Gladys, things hard to see,
No time to start feeling lonely,
I was never truly alone today!
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TTFNski!

Inchy Today Monday 24th March 2025

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

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Oh, for a night’s sleep, to inveigle,
A full night’s sleep would be incredible,
Lack of sleep is so depressional…
Causes, multi-varied, the seizures aberration?
Steve’s Thought Storms, all choplogical,
Anne Gyna, having a resurrection?
Duodenal Donald, so damned painful,
Twitching Neck Nigel’s jerking motion,
Shaking Shaun with a misguggle.
Doreen Dementia being nepenthean,
Is the catheter malfunctional,
Arthur Itis, cartilages, fungal lesion,
Cognitive Impairment, to confuddle,
Back Pain Branda, nightmare confusion,
A Grizelda dream, feeling coital,
Mechanical aorta, piles, corporality,
EQ visits and being oblectational,
The usual imprecation & malediction,
Guilt, vilification, ankles inquination
Last night was more confusional…
No sleep, but no real reason…
Causing me aggravations,
Not any pain from my bunions,
None of the usual causes?
Do I need some detoxifications?
Why? What causes my sleep dysfunctions?
What are the justifications, & reasons?
What were or are the causes?
What’s ruining my nocturnal hibernations?
Maybe I’m having noctambulations?

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Rush job, it’s a devil trying to catch up with so many jobs to do. I assume the Carers & Social are arranging for the domestic and financial hep visits to be started, eventually.

A 7, I think, on the NHS scale.

The sun broke through.
But not for long.
Still, that means that Gladys Glaucoma will not be affected so much.

Clock-Calendar.

Slow, painful, & bloody.

The wound on Arthur Itis and Catheter Chloe is getting so much better already.

Unburnt lambburgers!
Georgous!

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CHEERS!
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Inchy (Unwell) Today: Friday 21st March 2025

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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I’ve never seen an elephant or a zony,
A giraffe, or been to Hungary…
Or why we all live xenophobically,
I know if Starmer gets his way…
Pensioner’s food will be xerophagy!
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Oh, last night’s kip, seizure after seizure!
Accompanied with agony from Anne Gyna,
I was a nocturnal cougher & sneezer,
Sleepless, confused, unwell, a sad geezer,
So bad, I was prepared for my sepulchre!
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Hard to breathe, a cough and an atchoo!
My moving and thinking was so adagio,
What I was or needed to do, I didn’t know!
Nocturnal seizures, I’ve only had two…
Both were in bed. Is it a bugaboo?
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My brain & body needed to be examined,
At first, I felt really succussed,
The carer came, this was discussed,
He reported to HQ, well, he must…
They didn’t mention my psychosis,
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I said no help was needed,
Though I may have been deluded,
Then, the carer departed,
I became far less bothered,
So quickly, I suddenly breathed!
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My dizziness, & balance improved,
With Anne Gyna, I was not affected,
It took a minute to feel jubilated,
Gone, I was, no longer seizured,
Sadly, later, Anne Gyna feasted!
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ADMISSIONS
I’ve blundered, blabbed & believed,
Got angry, annoyed, been aggrieved,
Begloomed, begrimed & becharmed,
Shoplifted, got shot twice, was sacked,
In 1950, I was abducted,
By a neighbour, I was snatched…
I believe her name was Winifred,
A Welsh lady who took me to her bed,
Her groping, I found unmatched,
Her house I frequently frequented,
I didn’t realise what we practised,
But I was sorely satisfied!
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After each Nocturnal Seizure, clearing my head and senses was a long job. Balancing was a farce. Anne Gyna was playing ball with me. From getting up, it was a confusing and worrying 4 hours before the Carer arrived. The Carer rang his HQ to report my condition. Eyesight blurred, coughing and sneezing, phlegm coming up, dizzy, and most things that I was suffering from cannot be remembered. I think I was finding it a job to talk as well. At one stage, I spoke with a lady from the Carer organisation. Can’t recall what was said.
Once the Carer departed, my head slowly cleared, and my vision improved after taking the medication. I took an extra Codeine & Paracetamal.
I’ve got photos on the SD card that I cannot recall taking. Maybe the seizures continued with the mini-ones. The day flashed by. I didn’t start this ode until around 15:00hrs when I started the odes.
After this, I may need to give WP a rest.
After three nights of broken sleep, then last night’s nocturnal Seizures, I must try to get some sleep. I realise my thousands of fans will be disappointed, and I apologise to both of you. Hehe!
I’m so far behind it hurts!

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I NEED SLEEP!
Dear Lord, I won’t bellyache.
At best, my life’s been bittersweet,
I don’t mean to moan & bleat…
Three days under the bedsheet,
Mostly in pain and wideawake,
And not a moment’s sleep,
Anne Gyna & Sandra’s Seizures compete,
I pray you to hear me speak,
I don’t intend to offer critique,
Sleep: or ensure I don’t reawake.

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Well, it’s time to get summat to eat. I originally decided to have two lamburgers on cheesy-topped rolls. My taste buds tingled at the thought.
I couldn’t have made a proper meal anyway because I forgot to tell the carer not to put the nocturnal bag on yet. I could have made the meal without the dangers of using the walking stick and cooking simultaneously. I got the burgers in the oven; they should take 35 minutes to cook.
Then I returned to the computer and did the Ode To Sleep. Forgetting all about the burgers.
I got a whiff of the burning food!

So, I ate some Cheez-it crackers and nuts as sustenance for tonight.

Photos of the day. In order as taken, I think.
First one.
My beloved tree copse.

Cavendish Vale

CorelDraw problems again.

This might be out of sync timewise?

Green skies, as well.
I’m colour-blind on red/greens, so you
may not see the colour I do.
Protanopia: This is a severe form of
red-green colour blindness where 
individuals are unable to perceive
red lights at all. 
I looked this up on my NHS list.
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After the last two nights of sleeping in bed, the nocturnal seizure stopped any silly thoughts of sleeping. So, after burning my lamburgers, don’t think that this pissed me off and got me all angry and annoyed with myself. I wet back to using the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner, in hopes of nodding off.
Well, it was great! Five straight hours without interruption. Until and kicked off.
Five hours is more than I’ve had over the last three days.
No bother from , , or either of the Cartilages. !

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Flaunt a Fiesta Full of Funny Frivolity!
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Inchy Today: Thursday 20th March 2025

/ Inchie / 12 Comments

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I’ve never tried anything Columbian,
Ah, bananas, I forgot to mention.
I don’t need protection but rather a resurrection,
I had some education, though only a smidgeon,
I dislike raptors, but I did have a pigeon,
At my age, they say I am antediluvian,
One’s body & mind go into bifurcation,
Old age is full of exacerbation and aeonian,
Daily activities all have a limitation,
You should see the amount of my medication!
An hour goes by, seeming like a second…
An hour to complete a bifurcation,
Confusion, indecision, apprehension,
You’ll face failure, incapability & denigration,
Just washing, & dressing takes you an aeon,
You’ll gradually lose contact with your cerebrum,
You’ll regularly visit the audiologist and optician,
Have a catheter fitted by a urologist surgeon,
Cataracts, Glaucoma, lasered by a chirurgeon,
Duodenal ulcers, strokes… prepare for perdition,
Arthritis, cramps, & have an amputation,
Dementia, a stroke, seizures, disequilibrium,
Peripheral Neuropathy joins the equation,
FND, deafness, drives you to declension…
There’s no stopping your deterioration,
So, best prepare for things like decession,
You’ll jerk and shake due to denervation,
You’ll not find time for any deliberation,
Your ailments make up a large compendium,
You’ll be prone to effutiation & equivocation,
There’s no solution available, no criterion,
No help, understanding or appreciation,
Mind & body, no communication or association,
If, like me, alone things may seem stygian,
Advice I give without tergiversation…
Best to accept your worsening tabefaction,
After your ultimate ultimation…
Please don’t expect anything utopian,
St Peter will do the investigation…
To decide heaven or hell, without vacillation,
Don’t moan about you being a valetudinarian,
For your sins, don’t expect vindication,
Don’t speak of things with witwanton…
In hell, things can’t be more woebegone,
As they were on earth, you just came from!
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It’s not too bad a day, really. I may regret saying that later! There is no time for too much tonight. It’s another busy day, but I don’t mind because the Anne Gyna stabbings were far less frequent this Wednesday. No, wrong again. They were less frequent than they were on Wednesday. I think I do.
I’m getting tired already. (19:32hrs) I’m just starting this blog. Worralife!
I’ve lost the notepad, so things may be even more out of time sync than usual.

Got up at 04:15. After a six-hour kip! Yea! One page of the notepad I found. Why all the other pages were torn off leaves me blank? Nowt, new there, then!

Ablutions and medicationings achieved. No cuts shaving.

First view shot from the kitchen.

Boy, did the seizures make up for yesterday. I lost about three hours, during which I continued typing away, and when things came back, it took me two hours to correct them. All being broken by being interrupted, and harder to get back into as the mini-seizures returned. I do not usually carry on doing anything when these arrive, just sit staring blankly, they tell me.

Carer ‘Joe’ arrived and fitted me with diabetic socks and medications, and we had a little mini natter.

The carer also coded the night bag contents.

Back on the blog for about three hours, and my beloved Nrse Hristina arrived. ♥..
She took my blood, and we had a few minutes natter. I do love her so. ♥

After Hristina departed, I spent a long time doing today’s ode. Before realising I’d not finished Wednesday’s yet. Humph!

The helpful carer arrived and again assisted me. This time, he called the audio centre for me to try and make an appointment to get the hearing aid mended or replaced. They gave him one for the 2nd of April.
Akmad wrote all the details down for me to put on the calendar.
Then he called Easy-Link to see if they could transport me. I have to ring them back on Tuesday or later to confirm they have a free slot. Thank heavens for the help; without it, I’d have mixed myself and these dates and times up with my Arithmaphobia. Thanks, mate.

Ah, the handwashing of the socks I did earlier.
I hung all the diabetic socks on coathangers above the sink to drip dry.

Views of the Day
Early one.
Afternoon.
About 17:00hrs.
20:30hrs.

I was so tired out while making and prepping this decent-looking meal. And foolishly not asking the carer not to put the nocturnal catheter bag on cause I’d not made a meal yet. This means I was doddering around with Four-Pronged-Waking Stick Willie and carrying the night bag while trying to prepare the meal. Not easy. I don’t know what went wrong with the chips, but they were awful! I couldn’t find a use-by-date on the bag, but maybe they were outdated. I can’t remember even buying them.
The Franks were passable. The cheesy cobs were dry and tasteless, even when I added some Marmite. The Heinz tomato sauce with pickle had certainly, unquestionably gone off! Eurgh!
The mandarins in orange jelly were great!
The night’s sleep had multiple problems again.
I’ll relate these in tomorrow’s blog. (Hopefully, if I do not forget, but I don’t think I will—forget) Suffice it to say that I woke up in a terrible state. 

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Keep well, & have a stroke of luck! (Good Luck)
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