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……….., erm, how can I explain? If I am able…
Some of my thoughts don’t seem to be translatable,
I can’t guarantee, or be sure, they are veridical,
Or even my own; does this sound plausible?
Dementia, Cognitive impairment, not only horrible…
But nervous-making, not controllable,
I tried grasping reality; it was not entirely feasible,
Does water on the brain make me mentally drownable?
Some people can be unintentionally smart-aleckal,
Not knowing why yourself can be tenuous, even mythical,
Mental gweilos in the head, that’s not theoretically,
I’d have laughed my head off at the thought, in 1963,
That was another me, no brain-dwellers then, I was free,
Now, I talk to myself, for it must be me, logically…
Begging myself for mental peace or an amnesty,
I find my brain often communicates antagonistically,
Seizures, ailments, just won’t back away…
Sometimes I ask myself, why have the neurosurgery?
I’ve awaited the Glaucoma lasering since 2023,
My rare self-sympathy is so cringeworthy!
1972, the last year I felt anything like Christmassy,
What happened then? Someone shot me in my knee,
Nothing changes, I’ve no Christmas tree,
But shame and guilt, I have aplenty!
If I were a Catholic, I could do a confessionary,
Tell them at thirteen I lost my cherry,
To a 46-year-old neighbour, her name was Sally,
Why, how did I manage it? That’s not a mystery,
The first time viewing of what she showed me!
I was excited, satiated, she laughed at poor little Inchy!
We met weekly, collaboratively,
Something else that bugged me incessantly…
Well, more so now, Earth’s warlike history,
It’s going to happen again, more seriously,
Again, World leaders are showing complacency,
But little clemency, compassion or coherency,
So many more this time are acting bodaciously,
They’ve created a worldwide mamihlapinatapai!
Assuring that if not all, billions will die!
Because politicians are part of the WW narcokleptocracy,
Any input from minions like me is nugatory,
With their parsimonious greed and profligacy…
Oh, I lost the plot of this cacography,
Not unexpectedly, but again, I’m sorry!
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A quickie today. I got carried away with the day’s Ode.
I rose and did a double back flip off of the bed and over the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner, landing perfectly, and yodelled for a few minutes on the balcony.
Ahem!
Better colour today.
Carer Ejaz arrived. Medications issued, sock put on. But later found they were not diabetic ones and the leg wounds flared up… or should that be flared up?
Carer Mizra changed them on the lunchtime visit for me, back to diabetic ones. Ordered some more later on in the day.
The mini seizures came on earlier today. I got confused after each one, and there were so many again. At times, one after another.
Popped out on the balcony later. Took these snaps.
I took the first of my Detox tea bags this morning. The cheaper ones. They had to be made using cold water. And left for 30 minutes. So I did.
Aorted the waste bags out, and paid a messy, slimy, runny Trotsky Terence visit to the Porcelain Throne.
Back to get the brew, and squeezed the bag, and it burst open. Bits of seed and grass all over the cooker, me and the floor. I cleaned the mess and investigated the details on the other Detox teabag box.
This one is made with boiling water, I needed to steep it for 15-20minutes. It said I could add honey or lemon juice to flavour the drink. So, I did. Lemon
The top cheaper ones that exploded were two a day. This one was once a day. Tasted okay with the lemon added to it. Oh, it must be sipped, not drunk.
A later-than-ever start on the blog today. And with the seizures being so furiously rampant, not that they bothered me too much; it was the after effects that put me in a right confused state. However, I pressed on, ever correcting errors, but I think I enjoyed doing it. The Ode took me so long, I thought I might need another shave and shampoo. Hahaha!
I was baffled. Then I realised I might have hit the wrong key combination, which possibly caused this dilemma. The self-hating turned itself on. I waited and waited, but after half an hour, the completion rate had only gone up to 76%. Was I bothered? Of course I was! I sat here at the computer for another ten minutes, and it was still showing as 76%.
I couldn’t, didn’t have the means to turn it off via Windows. Then I think the screen flashed, inverted or wobbled threateningly.
My mechanical heart missed a beat!
I thought I was on the verge of losing my computer. Although something happens every day that makes me think this, this time I was sure it would snuff it – when the % went back down to 55% in an instant.
Deepened. Terrible 
thoughts floated around my head. In there, from somewhere, I got a memory prompt telling me I had not made a will yet?
It was the horriblest feeling of the week. And that’s taking into consideration Tuesday and Wednesday’s soul-destroying events. I didn’t think or expect to have such nightmares again, as soon as this. I was wrong, of course. I made a mug of tea and drank it, brooding over my failures, my own limitations, uselessness and so on.
And the scene went blank, then off. Very slowly and with a jumpy restart, the computer restarted – but only as far as the blue crash screen; with a new system laid out to get the computer restarted.
After losing more hours, I had no choice but to risk turning it off at the plug. I was more scared of making a wrong selection amongst the strange options that were on the screen.
So, I did! And with an unexpected lack of fear. I angrily accepted that this is the end of the world-famous blog. My fans from over the globe will be distraught. Both of them.
I left the computer turned off for about 15 minutes and then rebooted it.
The old blue start-up screen returned with the known options to select! And Wallah!
The main page came up, and I opened Google. Then, my impending joy was cut short when I opened CorelDraw—it froze!
Carer Mizra called and took the socks off, gave me Peptc and got the nocturnal catheter bag out for me to use later. After the lad had gone (up to now), I have not had another seizure. Great!
I pondered whether or not to bother making a meal. I was tired and more drained than usual. Cooking might be a risk. I decided not to make a meal. Just had a yoghourt and a bag (or two) of Frazzle crisps. I don’t feel terribly hungry anyway.
But so weary, unbelievably so. I made a brew of tea and sat to watch some TV. Nearly 21:00hrs already.
Back in the morning with an update on the event in case anything interesting happens. (As if? Hehehe!)
Two editions of Red Dwarf were just starting on TV. I was so pleased, and got myself into a comfortable position as is possible in the incommodious, uncomfortable, cumbrous, toe-curling, cringe-making, second or third-hand bought from the Oxfam Charity shop, Cathleen-Catheter-Tube-Crushing, hurtful for Harold’s Haemorrhoids, germ-ridden, Horrendously grungy, uncomfortable, not-working recliner… and fell into a deep yet dream-filled sleep. When I stirred, the light from the TV enhanced the shock of doing so, I believed it must be getting up time already… But, No! Red Dwarf began at 21:00hrs, and the credits were rolling for the end of the second episode. So all that dreaming, albeit seemingly restful as well, had lasted for 1 hour and 40 minutes.
As I was trying to get back into the land of Morphius, who came calling on me? 
! I got the Toothache tincture spray and used it. Tiffany was getting naughty with it, and I took a Codeine 30g as well..
.
I decided to mount the oooospital bed. Climbing into it, while crossing my fingers that nobody telephoned me, took a concerted effort. Why? Cartilage Chloe! The moment I got up to get the tincture to counter Toothache Tiffany, Chloe kicked off distributing her aches and pains, and she’s still at it now – I likely twisted her into action, climbing into the bed. Sunday 
morning 08:50hrs! Then, by the time I actually got into bed, the task of getting that into a comfortable position was somewhat challenging. Why? Well, it’s complicated, slightly similar to the Labour Government, but not as bad or crooked. I cannot reach the light switch from the bed, so I use a wind-up torch to see the controls on the bed movement panel. But I dropped it and it fell down the gap between the bed and the wall.
Trying to manipulate the controls using the torch was bad enough, but things got worse. I dropped the wired bed control box, and it bounced into the dark depths of under the bed.
I made do with the indulated rippled state of the bed. But could I get to sleep? No! The three main reasons? Toothache Tiffany, Cartilage Chloe and Thought Storming Steve – then, as if to put the cream on the cake, Anne Gyna joined in.
I’d been planning on getting some sleep for about four hours. Two hours in the recliner and two in bed. It was almost a blessing when I had to get up to utilise the 
. I gave myself a 
en route. All but tripped over treading on 
the dropped control panel wire, and arrived at the wet room, only to trip over my walking stick! 
.
I didn’t get sat down in time!
Had Constipation Conrad been in charge, I’d have missed this pleasure. But, Trotsky Terence returned instead. Splatt! Spray! Soggy mess to clean up.
= ∇ = ∇= ∇ = ∇ = ∇= ∇= = ∇ = ∇= ∇ = ∇ = ∇= ∇= = ∇ = ∇=
Wishing You Peace, Pleasure & Paradisaicness!
= ∇ = ∇= ∇ = ∇ = ∇= ∇= = ∇ = ∇= ∇ = ∇ = ∇= ∇= = ∇ = ∇=
TTFNski
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Slept in this morning, didn’t wake until 06:10hrs. Then got the grade five night pouch detached… No, no, I fib. I woke up for the first time around 03:00ish, and seemingly every five minutes after that, but just fell asleep again each time. Reluctant to rise for some reason.
Meandered into the kitchenette to get the kettle on. Pottered about for a good while, then paid a hopeful visit to the Porcelain Throne. Another half hour wasted, all that urging, pushing, & forcing came to nothing.
The clouds were not colourful this morning. But by gum, they held a beauty that I could see. Likely thanks to 
I was struggling with my concentration suddenly, and 
I vaguely recall taking these shots from the balcony. The first one was taken, and then the second one some time later.
I think I was on WP typing in reply to Billum’s comment about the red car.
A break in the seizures was welcome. Things cleared up a lot, and I realised I’d let the catheter bag fill too much as I stood up. Oh, dearie me. The weight in the bag tugged on Little Inchys fungal Lesion. 
I ate all of it. (Gannet!)
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04:00hrs; I woke in need of the 
Removed and then emptied the nocturnal catheter pouch. Yellow binned it.
Tided up the catheter bag boxes underneath the Carer’s table. Then the windy rumble from my innards directed me to the 
wet room and the Porcelain Throne. It proved to be a 
Brown tomatoes. 
who kept visiting me this morning. And very welcome he was.
They pestered me when I started working on the blog. Naturally, Horis faded as 
To the left.
Straight ahead.
To the right.
Then I lost the plot. I sorted the old spectacles to see which ones could still be used and relabeled those that I could find a container for.
had no problem with this. But I did make a 
. I forgot to put new labels onto the glass boxes. Humph!
had two new leakages starting. The nurse applied two smaller, ready-filled plasters to tackle the problem.
.
Two late shots
.
Took another night snap.
A Copernicus Sausage was added to the cheesy half-potatoes, and two cheese-topped cobs were well Marmited, and eating began!
Thought I’d missed the sunsetting.
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I can’t recall seeing one of these at all,
I did try it, I had a ball!
Another one that I never knew!
Oh, a two-seater, too!
This new Iris eTrike, in its 250W EAPC (Electrically Assisted Pedal Cycle) version, is legally considered a bicycle in the UK and can be ridden by those 14 years old and above on roads and cycle paths wherever bicycles are permitted. It does not require registration, tax, insurance, or a driving license. The rider is not required to wear a helmet. I hope it doesn’t catch on like eScooters, apparently, since their introduction in 2019 to July 2025, there’s been 69 (including 25 children, & 18 pensioners) reported deaths involving escooters. 
No Blogging Achieved! No time, no successes, nothing went right this afternoon. It would have been a difficult task, with all the extra jobs that needed to be done, or as today, not done. With failures, 
and 
. A mentally & physically draining, frustrating, annoying, anger-making, late seizure-ridden, pain-polluting, ill-making, infuriating, maddening, barely-endurable, Duodenal Donald, Anne Gyna & Frustration Frank creating, sod of an excruciating 
infested, making my blood boil,
Waking up time, Humph!
I very nearly made the bed!
Taken from the computer chair
Terrible kitchen view shot
Car park in the drizzle
Two khagules to hand wash
Hung them to dry in the wet room
Much bleeding gums
Memory pad & mug of tea
The rain stopped
Whoops, started again!
Carer Ejaz arrived. If I’d known what
I had a few mini-seizures while making it. I’d put a potato in the slow-cooker about nine hours earlier and forgot about it. A can of beef stew, garden peas, chick peas, Gung Po sauce, mushroom ketchup, pickled gherkins & beetroot were added, and finally, the potato was cut up. Then everything was mixed together. Microwaved it for six minutes. No mess in the kitchen in the morning!
Another messy, spirit-sapping, farcical day.
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Four hours later, Carer Ejaz took a snap of me on his mobile and emailed it to me. Thank you.
Gone dark again, still raining.
The mist is coming down now. 17:00hrs.
Mind you, they are all individuals, and gorgeous.
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Woke at 04:30hrs: The feet needed a soak in soap and some Dettol. Carried out the early Health Checks. BP had gone down a lot.
I took a leisurely paced trip to the wet room to carry out the needs of my phooey body. The Porcelain Throne session produced no movement again. I’ll have some of the Pakistani vegetable curry later; the last time I had it, I ended up with four trips to the Porcelain Throne the following day.
From the balcony, I took shots of the views.
Then, the end of the car park was snapped. Usual parking from the little red car.
Down from the window.
Getting seated at the computer, I took this shot. It was my knees under the colourful thin Kaghoule that I’d decided to try.
Carer Ejaz arrived before I could try out the computer. He issued the medications and checked those delivered yesterday, or possibly Saturday. If not, Friday. He put on my diabetic socks
Another fail!
He was disgusted to see the leg, pouch straps, and sleeve covered in urine. I apologised as best I could; it’s not very pleasant for anyone to sort out. But he did, and readjusted things afterwards. Bless him. How the urine escaped was obvious; the release valve was in the open position. I’m struggling more than ever. Making mistakes, I’ve not done before, repeatedly.
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More computer problems, yet again,
0315hrs: A great start, despite the high SYS. Night pouch taken off
Ratio finished at the end of the long day, as shown here on the right. 
Got the Health Check gear ready.
Took two snaps of the extra blue sky.
Clock changed.
Kitchen View.
I waited for the processing to stop.
No idea why.
Then…
Put the computer back on, and apart from everything going stuttery and in slow motion, it did let me open the CorelDraw package. But the mousse would not work, and then it stopped letting me type anything. Next, it froze altogether.
I took a snap of the evening, showing what looked like a bit of the moon in the sky.
I was halfway through eating this when I realised I’d not pictured it. So, I did.
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I used to know what I needed, wanted to do,
10:10hrs Sunday: Forgive the smiling photo of Inchy welcoming you to the blog… I’m so happy at this moment, despite it being Sunday morning and a late start to this catching-up blog. I feel blessed. My best friend is back. 
The best gift I rarely have nowadays is here with me. No logical reasoning why; Nothing has changed from yesterday’s gloominess in any way. But I woke up with Horis, and he’s still with me. I just love the ‘Sod-’em-all’ attitude Horis brings me. I can’t get into this mode myself, but surely Horis is myself in a warped way, 
must have assisted me to get in this blissful, albeit liable to dissipate as unexpectedly as he arrived.
The computer went down. I’ll add this to Sunday’s blog if I ever get it started. Got to finish this one before it freezes on me again. Using snaps to save time, sorry for the lack of or poor details.
Health Checks were monitored by Carer Nimra.
Dry crinkly skin
Iceland
Food!
Amazing evening sky
Amazing evening meal!
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Five Porcelain Throne visits
bloody affairs. Teeth, gums, cuts on the neck, and after the Trotsky visit, the bum was bleeding a little too much. My right leg top had some extraordinary markings, spots, bruises, & DVT veins showing on it that I’d not noticed before. So much, I photographed it for posterity.
It had been such a fair morning up to now.
Bile threatened to come up from my innards. Self-lambasting, Self-hatred & I foolishly ground my teeth at my stupidity. I had to use the Toothache Spray and took an extra 30 mg of Codeine. 
Saturday morning, doing this catch-up, and was blessed by Satan again. I must have hit the wrong key combination, as I went into a mini-seizure. When I came out of it, the keyboard and mouse were not working at all. I went on CorelDraw to find the same, but I couldn’t get back to this because the computer froze. A blue screen then a black screen appeared, back to a blue screen, and as CorelDraw opened again, I had the mouse busy thingamajig on screen for around ten minutes. During that time, I was preparing for the worst and was on the verge of tears.
Trotsky Terene was in strict, complete control.
Back to Friday.
Only two carrier bags were filled. But I had ordered even more spring water to 
add to the stacks of it I already had in stock.
All my favourites were ordered. Do you see the size of Podwawelska sausages in packs of two? They dwarf the two 480g cans of Beef stew. This is the first time I’ve found & bought these. A bottle of Mushroom ketchup, and the teeth-testing but tasty Twiglets.
The Chemists 4U delivery has not arrived yet. But yesterday I got these on order from Asda. Pleaded to get some Odour Eaters.
Trotsky Terene was in strict, complete control.
I did the afternoon Health Checks. Carer Mizra checked them. The SYS was below the HYPER level, operating on Normal High.
Meal of the Day!
Distant.
Then a zoomed-in shot.
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Then the 
Then… from the kitchen
Then an Amazon delivery arrived.
Below is what I plan to mix in the pickle.
Bettroot, Kung Po sauce and mushroom ketchup.
with the mobile phone problems and know the routine. Both come rarely now. Still, others need to learn, don’t they? Got an email with this sunset photo on it. A Carer had taken it for me yesterday, I think. Thank You.