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My grasp of the ungraspable,
Seems no longer available,
My mind is no longer terrestrial,
Friday was mentally tumultable,
Definitely it was seriocomical,
A.M. was great, afternoon, sepulchral,
Morning fine, the P.M. was Seizural,
Early, I felt fine, then a schlemiel,
Whoopsiedangleplops, feeling celestial,
At first sybaritical, then self-critical,
Why ever did High-Horis skedaddle?
Spent most of the day sort of phantasmal,
Seizures rampant, leaving me quixotical,
Had thoughts that were ragmatical,
Concentration was bad, indeed risible,
Seems my good luck comes sesquicentennial,
Help, obviously needed, but not available,
Seizures, Dementia leave me in mental trouble,
Glaucoma, Cartilages, Catheter, endurable…
Arthur Itis, Duodenal Donald always painfully,
Peripheral Neuropathy, I respond nervously,
My heart’s aorta, still working mechanically,
But it’s the seizures I find inexplicably…
Going into one, I feel it coming sensorily…
Not every time, one out of four, or three, maybe,
The shorter ones can come on instantly,
Coming out of them, aggravatingly…
It’s the part that most bothers Inchie,
I’m confused, have insufficient balance, and feel dizzy,
That’s when a Carer or nurse calls, usually,
For a while, I’m speaking incoherently…
Yet it sounds to me, as I’m talking clearly,
Sometimes things might clarify swiftly…
I feel embarrassed, mumbling inaudibly,
Troubles with problems mentally & physically,
I don’t claim I manage admirably,
Like yesterday, I felt self-pity,
I’d love to get help from someone in authority,
I’ve not seen anyone about the seizures or Neuropathy,
Premorbid Cognitive Impairment, you see…
I have just looked it up …
Cognitive impairment: a decline of mental ability,
Pre-onset of a mental illness, psychologically,
Yet still I can make up this silly ditty?
So why am I feeling self-pity?
Now I feel all guilty…
I await the next thing, cataclysm, I’ll probably drop my mug of tea!
Fall over and break my knee…
Or burst the catheter full of pee,
Break another tooth, pay for dentistry,
Do a Google search for camaraderie…
I hope I’m not writing sarcastically?
Am I going from comically to cynically?
No question about it, I’m going doolally!
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I was up and about (feeling deeply vague) when I realised that it was 03:55hrs. I recall what I was doing and what I was thinking at the time. Oh, yes, I was sitting on the
Porcelain Throne, painfully forcing some movement from the evacuating monster torpedo! Through sheer willpower and determination, I’d freed myself of that 15-inch torpedo within 15 minutes
!
During this period, to take my mind of off the pain, I mused over what lay ahead for me today. What disasters, failures, Whoosiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, cock-ups, bloomers & bloopers, oversights, foul-ups, oversight, glitches would be launched at me today?
They started after Carer Mirza had called.
Well, here they are:
Approx. 09:00hrs, I emptied the catheter and started working on this blog. About half an hour later, I felt the urine soaking onto my leg, pouch bag, my sock and my slipper! Oh, dear, another urine leak! The carpet was soaked under the leg. I struggled to get the socks off, so I decided to wash them straight away and hang them to dry, along with the pouch.
I closed the pouch, put the slippers in the laundry bag, and hobbled carefully, with just the kargoul on and the socks, which were diabetic ones that had to
be hand-washed and hung to dry. So, I hung them up on a coat hanger above the sink. (The nurse who came later was kind enough to take this photo and email it to me. I found it on my return from the hospital on Sunday morning.) This is when I stood back from reaching up to the bar and took the tumble.
The catheter pouch had still been leaking, even in the closed position. I went down on one knee, banging my head on the metal serving trolley. There was a lot of pee! I went on all fours to the recliner and somehow managed to get myself up. Then I returned to the kitchenette to clean up the mess. Initially, use kitchen towels. But the pouch was still leaking. On closer inspection, I saw that the plastic covering the exit tubing had come away from the tube. I stopped cleaning up and depressed my alarm wristlet alert button. I think I’ve got the following in the correct order; I told the NCC Controller of the tumble and the faulty day catheter bag.
Asked him if he could advise the Community Nurses and ICC (Carers) for advice, as the scuff mark on my head was getting more painful as I spoke, turning into an increasingly throbbing pain.
He said he would and will get back to me.
I restarted the kitchen clean-up, and the chap rang back on the alarm box.
A nurse would be coming, and he would leave the line open in case I had a turn for the worse. Kind of him!
He spoke again in a few minutes; He’d talked with the District Nurses Matron, Jackie, and said she’d rang for an ambulance. A nurse should arrive first to assess the problem, but I must go with the ambulance after the nurse has left. This may be a little mistaken, as I did take a turn for the worse; the throbbing was getting near my pain level.
The controller kept asking if I was alright and checking on me.
I sat down quietly. The throbbing did die down shortly after.
The nurse arrived and put on a new catheter bag. It was a different type, with the better, more reliable stiffet release valves. So that was one confidence booster I was pleased with.
The ambulancemen arrived. I got into a semi-panic thinking of what I would need to take with me. I should have done this beforehand, but naturally, being me, I didn’t.
The men spoke, telling me they would bring up their wheelchair and take me to the hospital in it. Nice chaps. They did a Q&A session, then got the equipment out. Pulse, temperature, BP, Lung checks, breathing checks, and a heart check thingamagig. I think it’s called an electrocardiogram (ECG) machine.
I got on another Kagoule to go in. (A mistake, I know that now!) The lads gave each other looks as they read the first heartprintout. Then did another, and spoke about that one, and did a third one.
At this stage, they said, “It’s best if we get you there swiftly”. I mentioned that I had to do safety checks in the wet room and kitchen, and I thought I had done them while the wheelchair was being brought up.
I felt sure I’d checked the stove, taps and fridge in the kitchen, and faucets in the wet room. I was sure I had. Then the lads got me seated in their wheelchair, with a seat belt fitted. I’d made sure I’d got the mobile phone, crossword book & pen, bus pass, the prison…no, no, I mean flat keys, and some cash.
Despite the injury, I was so glad to be getting out of the flat, even if it was only to the hospital. Hahaha!
The trip to the QMC was, for some odd reason, vaguely remembered. Other than the bumpy ride.
ARRIVAL AT THE QMC
(Old photo reused).
The ambulancemen wheeled me out of the ambulance and into and through the A&E wing.
Well, what a sight. Corridors with patients and relatives were so crowded that they barely had enough room to navigate the wheelchair through them, with many short waits for someone to move a trollied patient out of the way to let us through. Gawd Blimey… they were so busy. We got into a lift and found the same thing on the ‘D’ floor. Trolleys of patients all over the place. I had no idea where I was, not that I was bothered at the time; wherever it was, I was not in my cell! I mean flat.
I was then transferred into a cubicle and was then moved onto a trolley. In which I resided, unmedicated (pain-killer or prescription), no drink, no food, for the next 20¾ hours of misery. But, I had sneaked some crisps into a bag and took them, flipping good job I had taken them with me, with my precious crossword book. (Cunning, or what?)
Twenty minutes later, I was collected and taken to the QMC Emergency Department surgical unit, in the Outpatients Department, in the blue zone, N4 area, and given a whole brain CT scan. I think they found one. Haha! These photos were taken from the web.
Then back to the Emergency CT ward. I was locked up, never to move again, until I was freed. And some 20 hours of misery awaited me. This photo of the ward must have been taken when it was new. So different today. Packed solid with patients, and fed-up staff.
The trolley I was on was so painful to lie on. The first Carer to visit me, for BP checks, I asked if the head of the trolley could be moved higher and forward, please. Explaining my inability to lie flat causes me dizziness and back pain. Eventually, she answered me, saying, Yes, it can be moved… and disappeared, saying she’d be back, a little like Arni spoke those lines in the film. Hehe! I never saw her again.
The cubicle was so cold. One nurse brought me a small throw, bless her cotton socks.
Then, a lady arrived for blood extraction. He left a plastered contraption on my arm, saying someone will take my blood for testing every fifteen minutes from now on. Don’t knock this tube off! Oh, I didn’t.
Then a mini CT test. Leads stuck on my chest, back, and arms. Saying someone will be doing this every 20 minutes. By the time four CTs were done, my kaghoule was split so much, and right up beyond my bum, others were laughing. Air enough, so was I.
I looked like… well, I don’t know. Each time they got me out of bed to access the points for putting the clips on, a bit more of a tear or two would grow.
When they finally told me I could go home, many hours later on Sunday, and gave me a list of things not to do, and to do. As I stood up, I could hear the laughter harder than ever. What have they been doing to you – did they rape you?” And “God, you look like you’ve been beaten up!” As I got in the wheelchair, I was displaying my bottom, hips, and Little Inchie and his accoutrements. The comments I got varied from pointing at my lower regions, accompanied by “Hahaha!” To, “Ah, how dinky! r cute, or quaint!” I could hear them because I took my newly battery-powered hearing aids with me!
Still, it gave them and the ambulancemen a laugh, and I was happy to do that for the overworked angels.
Gone out of sync there, Tsk!
I was cold and uncomfortable in that trolley in that cubicle. Late on, about three hours before getting my freedom, and an actual Doctor called on me, early hours of Sunday morning. She put a small, thick blanket over me, and at long last, moved the top of the trolley up and forward for me. t was heaven compared to what it was before. Thank you, Doctor, whoever you were. 🤎 X
On the last mini CT scan, a different shift lady, who I assume had just started her shift, came out with a quote to beat them all! I laughed so much, it hurt!
“You know you’re a nurse when your finger has gone in places you never thought possible.”
As she checked out Hammorhoid Harold’s bleed!
A highlight of my stay in the hospital!
The above helped me through to when the Doctor returned with all the diagnoses, to tell me, with a cunning smile on her face, that I could go home.
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THE AMBULANCE HOME
I wanted to get home for once, after leaving hungry, drinkless, my Khagoul torn to shreds and no sleep.
But, despite the joking, my esteem for nurses
remains as high as ever, probably higher.
As I was pushed through the maze of corridors on my escape route, my heart went out to the staff at the QMC. Every corridor still had patients on trolleys queuing in them. Far less than yesterday, thankfully. The staff on their way home had a twinkle in their eyes; those arriving didn’t!
The same ambulance men were in a better mood than yesterday, although they were pleasant enough chaps, just cheerier today. he ride home was even bumpier than the one going to the hospital.
BY good fortune, we drove along the road where I have to go in November, to discuss my upcoming
Trephination surgery, the driver confirmed it was the building I needed. It’s on Leen Gate in Lenton, and we passed it, and the driver confirmed that it was the place that I needed to get to. Then we got back to the flat, my haemorrhoids were bleeding, and my cartilages were hurting. A bouncy ride, and just as we got on Citrus Grove, where the flats are, we went over the unseen speed bumps, and I suffered again.
Humph! A bit of a mind blank here. I can’t recall getting into my flat! But once inside, the heat in there scared me to death! I hastened to the obvious place the heat was coming from, the kitchen, and found that I had not, as I thought I had, turned off the stove, and it had overheated the place. No signs of damage were found. t must have been on a low heat level. But it could have been dangerous leaving it for all that time. Blimey, I could have easily caused a fire. What a Silly Stupid Iriot!
I searched Google Maps for the neurosurgery place and found it. Now I think it will have to be a taxi to get there and back. Buses with numbers, as well as their timings, are all affected by my Arithmaphobia. I must ask a Carer to help me with that.
I opened the windows and went to the toilet for the first time since Friday night, hoping to pass something smaller than a granite-sausage, this time.
I DID… NOTHING! ehehe! Tsk!
Three days now without any rear-end flow,
Will I want, or be able, to go?
Well, I just don’t know!
While sitting there, an evacuation was a no-go…
My mind mused again, on our UK Dumbo,
The unworthy Prime Minister who misleads & lies,
Brewing up problems as yet to be addressed,
Driven by greed, self-wealth; he’s not a theopneust,
The perfect, cunningest solipsist!
I just had to have a go at him, Keir the schiziest,
Who hides his empathylessness!
I liked scribbling that, I’m at my wittiest!
Carer Mirza, formerly Carer Mizra, because I was misspelling his name. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately, doing things, making choices, wrongly.
Telling Mirza (I got it right then!) about the ambulance driving by the neurosurgery place, and matching it with what he said about the scan revealing a lot of fluid on the brain, gave me hope that this may be the worrying problem lately with my brain-power loss. Just maybe, they can slow down my decline. I know the Doctor said it can’t be stopped, but I’m clinging to the hope that the Trethination procedure could slow it down. You don’t know how much this gives me hope for carrying on living in the flat, and not being sentenced to living in some old people’s care home. PLEASE! Anyway, Mizra… Mirza understood what I was saying. He gave me the… Crapllemongers, I spelt his name wrong again, sorry mate. Mizra… Got It! Mirza had followed what I was saying and wished me all the best with it. Telling me I am a lovely man and patient.
Double, nae, treble Smug mode utilised! Bless him. edications were issued, and he had to dash off to catch the bus to his next client.
I phoned Sister Jane to tell her I had escaped the hospital and was now back in the flat.
I got on like a house on fire with the blogging catch-up. When the teatime dilapidation started. Tired, weary. No chance of finishing it today. I thought I’d aim to make a meal: Sausages, garden peas, and eat each sausage with a slice of Milk Roll bread, with sauce, naturally. I’ll test the yoghurt before deciding if it’s alright, as it’s one day out of date. Then try to get an early night, so at long last I can get up in the morning bright & early (Ahem!) and get a full ablutioning session in, but we’ll see.
Carer Mirzra snapped the outdated calendar clock. Then he made the necessary changes and adjustments for me.
Someone unknown sent me this via email.
It may have been from Ejaz from last week. I can recall us looking at the partial moon. Ejaz must have snapped it for me and forgot to send it earlier? Thanks, mate.
I felt terrible later on when I found the LU biscuits I bought to thank Jenny; I still haven’t taken them to her flat. I need to text her to find the best time for me to take them down. Please remember!… I’ll do it now… Huh, the battery’s dead, I’m charging it.
I think one of the Carers took some shots for me. I’ll put them on tomorrow’s blog when I get them. I’m sure that the Carer took a night shot and the meal. Oh, such an excellent meal. If he did, you’ll salivate at it, well, maybe not, but it was lovely to me. I’ll be disappointed if I’ve got this wrong.
Now, being so short of sleep, will I nod of and dwell with Sweet Morpheus, and awake refreshed? eeply contented, with a warm feeling inside of me… I suppose something will ruin my rest, just a feeling that has come over me… We’ll see. I might be wrong, of course, but this has been known.
I need to dig around again on Monday. I know I had two spare SD cards that worked on Kodak Tim 2. I’ll have to find them or at least recall what I did with them. How to do that is another query that I anticipate may end up in the ether-full of so many other forgotten and/or misforgotten recent things, events and intentions.
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WORRA WEEKEND!
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Sunset

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Eye eye, what’s going on here?
Nocturnal catheter pouch.
Balcony walking aids.
The cartilages were dodgy all day.
Photo from 2022.
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Gone is my logic, I’m no longer systematical,
started to have a go at me when I freed myself of the clutches of the bed and bent down to release the nocturnal pouch from the catheter. Then I realised a Eureka moment was taking place. For the first time ever, I’d woken up with
I changed the dates on the calendar clock. And used some toothache spray as the Toothache Tiffany kicked off.
the ablutions and medication. Even
it’s made of in the book. Soylent Green is introduced as being made of plankton, but as the film unfolds, the main character discovers that it’s manufactured from dead bodies. It was released in 1973. Starring Charlton Heston & Edward G Robinson. I recall thinking it was a relatively slow film, and politicians would never do anything like that. (Back in 1973) Now we have Herr Starmer, and Oligarch leaders, Murdering Putin & La-La Criminal Trump in charge. So…
After the girl left, I took a photo from the balcony on the right end. The mudslide looked thicker than usual this morning.
Did heavy rain & wind play a part yesterday
investigate, taking the long picker-upperer with me. I was astounded when I recognised it. It was a bottle of eau de cologne. I bought this eight years ago, from the Poundshop on Upper Parliament Street. But managed to lose it. It was down there all that time. Shows how the cleaner or Carer is not good at cleaning.
Back on today’s blog.
Mild Vegetarian Curry,
Speedy sunset tonight.
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A fair young maiden granted a date with Inchie,
the longer lever, which has a 50% wobble. Checked the kitchen for safety, and went off to the Porcelain Throne evacuation. Trotsky Terence was in charge again. This time, dark brown, gooey and messy. The cleaning-up time was longer than the evacuation time, yet again.
I washed my dandies, emptied the urine pouch, and went into the kitchen to bag things. Taking this scene of the morning view. Not as pretty as yesterday’s. No pink in it at all.
Back in the kitchen, I put the waste bin bag into the big bag.
In the balcony room, I changed the calendar clock and inserted the hearing aids into my earholes. And I realised I’dn’t altered the month; it was still July showing. I’d have thought someone would have noticed it. I got in a pickle last month with using the dates from this clock. Hehehe! I asked Ejaz to keep an eye on it.
The first one taken straight ahead, zoomed on the dwellings, drug dealers and growers, muggers, pickpockets and unemployed, immigrants, scroungers, drug gangs, freed burglars, murderers & child molesters on parole. But I’d sooner live here than anywhere near the biggest crook, liar, and unprincipled, corrupt, immoral, unscrupulous, dishonest, evil-intentioned, dishonourable, splenetic, nefarious, fiendish, detestable, deceitful, insincere, criminal, unethical, miscreant, and merciless, debased, ruthless, heartless, sepulchral, gut-churning, sick-making, murderer-freeing ex-barrister,
The 2nd snap of Citrus Walk’s end car parking area. And the parking on the chevrons by the little red car. Haha!
The left cartilage was still swollen. And the unmistakable pain from Arthur Itis joined in.
I took a snap from the kitchen of the windows. I forecast that it will be raining soon. Arthur Itis coming on is a sign of that. Back to the front room, and took another snap from
the computer desk… well, the 1963-built, falling to pieces, tatty, scuffed, Hopewell’s E-Plan Sideboard, with the doors falling off, to be more precise. Haha!
The wind seemed to be churning in from all directions. Howling again. The rain is now worse than ever, and the wind seems to have died down a smidge. At least it’s not so noisy.
Huh, minutes later, the wind was back. Blowing the trees and branches around as if they were made of paper.
a snap of the sunshine. But no. The rain had started again. So I took shots of the rain from inside. One from the left window, and the second one
om the right window.




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04:30hrs: The flow-back pains from the dodgy catheter day contraption were stinging away when I woke up. The nocturnal pouch was barely damp; there was so little urine in it! The first thing was to dismount the hospital bed and investigate.
Well, a mega-change from this morning’s evacuation, I must say.
I left off doing poor Little Inchy’s Fungal lesion treatment. Until I’d sorted
Then, I did the other regulars; Ears oiled, eye drops in, Phorpain gelled
Arthur Itis’s knees, then 

You can see the swelling on the left knee. This is partly due to Arthur Itis, and Cartilage Carol, with Cartilage Chleo in support, who have mangled the knee areas of both legs. The darned Little monkeys!
I finished in the wet room and took a snap through the open window of the stunning light blue and pink sky. Nice!
I hobbled into the front room, collected the bins from the wet room & kitchen, and then got everything sorted.
Carer Ejaz arrived in a good mood. He did a good jon helping me this morning. I felt a smidge guilty in keeping him longer than he should have, and was nervous of missing the bus when he shot off. He’s to make the last call; I hope he catches the bus in time.
I revisited the Porcelain Throne. It was a short visit. Nothing happened.
Anne Gyna visited as I started to imbibe the meal.
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regions, but needed the use of the Porcelain Throne.
The intercom chirped up again. It was the chap with the Iceland order to deliver. He was soon up at the flat.
He put the things into the kitchenette for me in no time. Thanked him.
.
Just one bag of the Harry-Ramsdens frozen chips that had to go in the freezer, and I had to do some jiggling with the goods in there to make room for the tiger rolls.
the other nurses’ & Carers’ nibble selection on the carers’ table.
Earlier, I got the calendar clock updated. I missed the photo off,
I also forgot these, taken from the balcony.
The intercom chimed again.
Despite how I was feeling, I still enjoyed this delightfully tasty meal.
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Morning urine, Ezaz classed as a number 6. Why the heck I put it on the graph as a 4, remains a mystery to me. I need to update the NHS graph, and I’m confident I’ll remember to. Tsk!
Porcelain Throne. Which, as it turns out, I needed suddenly on my way into the room.
top! As my bum hit the plastic seat, there was what sounded like a splat, which took maybe 5 seconds to clear my bowels… but leaving a distinct feeling that a follow-up evacuation was already brewing! There was a mass of wind during the first evacuation. The minute spent on the Throne was dwarfed by the time it took me to clean up afterwards.
picker-upperer from the floor of the wet room and then got on with cleaning my teeth.
evacuation started of its own accord. Talk about lucky, I was. This session was perhaps all over quicker than the first one! That was because it was almost liquid. Making as much mess, though, for me to clean up. Now,
I felt first, and got Kodak Tim 2, and took a snap. It didn’t turn out too well, but I wasn’t aware of that at the time. I cheered up a little. I returned to the wet room and got on with the cleaning again, almost contentedly.
Then I remembered to change the calendar clock. And booted the computer.
For an unknown reason, desperation and frustration, possibly?
A letter arrived. We are to have safety checks done on the flats. The workers will be abseiling up and down the outside for four days, checking the integrity of the building. They asked us not to open any windows fully. It’s good that the NCC looks after our safety.


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06:30hrs: Removed the catheter night pouch from the day contraption.
I went onto the balcony and noticed the usual carefree parking and the mudslide in the end car park. It wasn’t raining at
the time.
I officially HEX the liar from today!
Here comes the food, from Asda,
Sticky & Smokey BBQ baby potatoes,
I meant to order these beer-battered chips,
I can’t recall wanting these on the left…
Half & half, vegan and beef & veg pasties,
Cheesey cobs, from Asda’s bakery,
On Special Offer – LU cookie,
Cleaned and reloaded my nibble jars.
I had two no-butter buttered cobs, cheesie,
I tried to snap it before emptying it. The photo I took did not show the balloon bulge well enough.
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Oh, dear, I’m wearing black diabetic socks & slippers.
Took a shot of the end car park, no mudslide.
Returned to the computer and noticed it had been raining. A mudslide had started in the end car park.
No rain, but the earlier bit we had was clinging to the glass of the window.
Opened the window to take this one.
I’ve got some peas, onions, and sweetcorn in the slow cooker, ready for later.
Made a brew of Glengettie. Then cut up some potatoes to bake to add to the meal.
Blue skies and grey clouds.
The front car park on Citrus Walk.
a recorded Heartbeat episode.
I’d got through about half of what was in the dish, and just as I remembered, I had not put the potatoes in from the oven, I got the smell of burning up my nose.
I caught my hand on the oven tray while taking it out.
I rewound the Heartbeat episode to catch up on what I’d missed, and started eating. I’d made too many potatoes and had virtually started eating another meal. I couldn’t manage it all, but ate all of the potatoes. For some reason…