But Clap, I will!
Monday 13th April 2020
Mongolian: 2020 оны 4-р сарын 13-ны Даваа гараг
06:00hrs: I Woke up, wanting a wee-wee. Moved and felt the wet warm wriggly feeling from the lower regions. So, I launched (Well, struggled out of) my overweight wobbly-stomached body out of the £300, second-hand, none-working recliner, and made my way to the wet-room. Where the innards decided I also needed to use the Porcelain Throne. Heck of a job, a touch of reluctance, constipation coming on I think? But the evacuation was still far less painful than it has been of late.
While I was performing, the mind appeared to be calmer than last night, and a new temporary, no doubt, eagerness and willingness showed in my actions. Scary! Hehe! I think I might have been rubbing the knee bruise last night in my sleep, it looked a tad tender, but no real pain as such.
I returned to the rickety-recliner room and checked for any signs of nocturnal nibbling, or somnambulating having taken place. No tipped over items or bread or biscuit crumbs were found. I’d had a much needed, agreeable and encouraging six-hours kip. Which meant less time to get things done today. (I do moan on, don’t I?)
I made a tasty strong brew of my beloved Thompsons Punjana tea, ominously passed wind, and took the morning medications.
With rising from my slumber so late, the latest for many a month, it was light already. So, I took a few photographs of the scenes outside.
It was strange not to see any pets, birds or tellurians of any kind at all!
I went back into the main room and decided not to get dressed or washed yet. But just put the dressing gown and slippers on, the pins looked much improved on yesterday.
Then as I was setting up the computer, I had a visit from one of Peripheral Pete’s, right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances. As serendipitously, I fell bum first into the recliner as I lost balance. I’ve now got bleeding from Harold’s haemorrhoids and a new bruise coming up, but I was not bothered about this, cause it could have been a lot worse, even fatal! Especially with being a bank holiday. Off to the wet room, to tend to Little Inchies fungal lesion and Harold’s piles. Got things cleaned and medicated without too much hassle or pain, this time.
I used the last kitchen roll in the wet-room, so went to fetch some more from the junk room. One loose one, and another roll from the new pack of three. I noted that the new roll, same brand and price and both from Iceland, was thinner and narrower than the one I bought before. Bit of a con going on here methinks? The rolls I use as a handkerchief and glasses and blood cleaner for Little Inchie and Harold are not going to last long! Gullibleiitis Inchcock!
I got on the computer, and CorelDraw to make up a header graphic. Well, that didn’t last for long.
Of course, I am not in the least bit jealous. Oh, no. Well, yes, I am! Hehehe!
However, I struggled on, battling repeated Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitter failures, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley and Shaking Shaun’s interruptions! Caterwauling and Ululations mode adopted! Finally getting the blog updated, emailed and posted off.
I phoned Jenny to see about Tuesday’s trip to the bank. I know it’s nothing new, but I did feel a right fool! It is Wednesday when I have to go, not Tuesday. I checked on the Google Calendar, and saw I’d made another faux pas! Humph! Nottingham’s Bunglebrain strikes again! I am a flipping pain! Jenny kindly offered to ring the bank to make sure what time they open, and she’ll let me know, and will order a taxi for me, too! That’s so kind of the busy gal. ♥
I got some pictures on Pinterest. Then I went on the WordPress Reader to catch up. Then had hours on the TFZer Facebooking, I love it!
I tried to get an order on for Iceland for bread and their wonderful tasting beefburgers really, but no slots were available again. Shame!
The door chime rang! I was the Amazon delivering the keyboard cleaner. No instructions with it. Not that I have time to use it anyway. It’s gone midday already! Josie handed me the parcel, and scooted off, wisely from any close contact.
I thanked her as she disappeared in her door, holding her nose. This turmoil being caused!
Back on the computer, at last, to make a start on this blog. After around ten minutes, the door chime rang out again. It was Josie, telling me a loaf and bottle of milk had been unexpectedly delivered from Nottingham City homes. Now that was nice of them! Great timing too! Josie again was there and put the things inside the door for me.
I gave Jane and Pete a tinkle, but no answer. I’m hoping they have gone out somewhere, but I’ll ring again later. I hope they are both alright.
I tried Iceland again, still no slots. Blooming good job that the NCH helped me out! Looks like thick white bread sarnies tonight. I’ve got an out of date can of pork knuckle left, I might have a bash at that! When; I don ‘t know, it’s gone 16:00hrs now.
I got on with the updating again. Then, I went to make a brew of Thompsons Punjana and spotted some dog walking their owner, so I took a couple of shots. Several actually, but only these two came out worthy of using.
I took a picture of the clouds in the sky.
At least this one was to be useable first effort. Hehe!
The weather and wind seemed warm today.
I gave Jane another ring on the mobile. It didn’t connect, just three bleeps and it cut off? Also, a message said I have ‘Active Alerts’, what are they?
I did a search for ‘Active Alerts’ on Google. I got this explanation: Wireless Emergency Alerts (WEA, formerly known as the Commercial Mobile Alert System (CMAS), and prior to that as the Personal Localized Alerting Network (PLAN)), is an alerting network in the United States designed to disseminate emergency alerts to mobile devices such as cell phones and pagers. Obviously an American reason.
So, I searched again.
This time I got, Mobile Alert System: with this showing on the right.
I wasn’t doing very well, was I?
So another try.
I’m not learning much here!
I looked in the messages, but nothing there?
I tried Jane again. Got to ringing, but no answer. I’m worried, now. I managed to get hold of Pete’s number from the memory and rang him.
Thank God, everything was alright! Stuttering-Stephany made it hard for the pair to understand what I was saying a bit.
Jane had somehow turned down her ringing volume on her £499 new mobile phone. (I jest, it was £520 really). Hahaha!
Xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete and I had a natter, and I rang Jane back to make sure her , Samsung Smartphone Galaxy S9 (Double Sim) 128GB was set right now.
Then, now relaxed knowing things were alright with Jane and Pete, my thoughts turned to fodder! Pork knuckle, seaweed crispies, bread and butter and out of date, but tasty, last two bits of cheese. Clementine drink, lemon yoghourt and an apple. Taste, 7/10.
Ate it up, rushed to wet room for a wee-wee, took medications and down in the recliner and actually fell asleep!
I woke and put the gogglebox on. Kept hearing musical sounds that I thought might be the intercom, a few times I got up grabbed the stick and checked the box and the door, but no flashing box or anyone at the door.
This happened three or four times, and it was driving me bonkers! The next time, I checked again, and…
: 
Every fibre of faith, interest in life, and a dose of self-hatred like never before, came over me! It was a plumber from the flat below!
I was flooding the apartment beneath me! He went in and I went to check the kitchen, fearing I’d left the tap running again.
It turned out the bathroom sin tap had been left running, with a cloth-rag blocking the drain hole! The wet room and carpet flooded, the drain blocked, a right liquid mess!
The demoralisation and a sickening-gut feeling, and disgust in myself were instant! The man shot off back to the poor devil’s flat below, telling me it just needs a bit of a mop-up.
Duodenal Donald kicked in moments later, and is still this morning giving me bother like it hasn’t for years!
Self-loathing, Thought-Storms, I felt pathetic and useless. I set about getting the carpet out, and the n the slow job of mopping up and cleaning. The peripheral neuropathy, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley and Shaking Shaun, combined to ensure I kept tipping over the bucket, dropping the mop, and banging various parts of myself against anything hard-enough to hurt me! Every step from wet room to the kitchen to empty the mop bucket got increasingly more difficult and painful.
By the time I’d got it done as best I could, I as in real agony and more annoyed with myself than ever. Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, Back-Pain-Brenda, Dizzy Dennis, Anne Gyna, and even Hernia Henry joined in giving me some hassle.
Harold Haemorrhoids and Little Inchies Fungal Lesion were both bleeding, with all the bending. It was a bad enough scenario, my hating myself for my stupidity, without so much physical pain ganging up on me.
I could not get to sleep again. The body was stiffening, and depression rounded off my uncomfortableness. This may mean the end of my tenancy? I can’t blame them.
I’ve been asking for help on this blog, with my memory, despair, deafness, Mind Storms etc. for years as they all got worse.
Things are not good, and I am now at a severe depth of darkness, like never before.
The Coronavirus, only makes things even worse.
The fixity of purpose, the strength to fight on, all weaken at times like this.
01:10hrs: I awoke, unmoving I lay there, distorted, half-hanging out of the £300, c1968, rickety-recliner, and recognised that I seemed to be in an accepting, open-minded, philosophical frame of mine. 
It took me so long, I needed the Porcelain Throne half-way through. And it was no mean-feat to reposition things to do that, without having an Accifauxpas! But I managed it, with the minimum soupçon of wayward sprinkling. The mystery bruise in the leg is lingering.
I got onto the computer. An Email from Iceland confirmed the arrival of some food this morning. 
I got the post updated at last and went to get the ablutions tended to, not realising how late it was. It was a rushed half-hearted affair, no shaving, as I had to get it done before the Iceland delivery arrived. I’m glad that I did now cause the delivery man comes within minutes. He left them outside the door, sensibly! 
Neuroticisms! 
02:10ish hrs: I woke-up, passed wind from the rear-end. Then struggled to get out of the chair. The one that xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged. While he was flat-sitting when I was in the Stroke Ward, and he fitted new CCTC cameras and searched for my valuables, which he found and took. The £300, second-hand, near-dilapidated, gungy-beige coloured, c1968, sometimes working – but not today, uncomfortable, rickety, ready-for-recycling, rinky-dinked, rattling, resurrected, reconditioned, recalcitrant, recidivating and rotting-away rusty recliner. 
Where I noticed I had not cleaned up the area around where I knocked stuff over last night in my rushes to get to answer the phone. So a little clean up was performed, not a proper one, cause it was far too early to use the noisy hoover yet, and being as I didn’t have a quiet one, I didn’t. Hehe!
Got the oven on and nosh started. A chance to use up some dated items from the freezer. The fish fingers in breadcrumbs, substituted for battered ones by Iceland. Not very tasty, I think they may have been made with pond sticklebacks? The well-out-of-date Twiglets, the donated by a resident for me tomatoes were grand. The Halloumi sticks passable, and the beetroot, perfect! Overall, a Taste-Rating of 5/10. 
As expected, Sainsbury’s were out of stock of some things, some substituted. The caramelised biscuits with Caramel wafers, but at least I can hand them back for Jenny to use, or share later with the Wednesday gang when, if, it ever gets back online. No bread or cobs substituted. As to be expected, in the current climate. 
I put the things away, and spotted another tin in the tea cupboard! Of Pork Knuckle, Great! And, it’s still in date, only just, but still. Hehe! 
00:35hrs: I felt overjoyed, satiated, contented, proud, confident, pleased, and so happy, I thought I was going to burst! Then I woke up! Tsk! The dream I was having is best not gone into in detail. Suffice to say, I was young, in the company of certain young ladies I knew, way back in the 1960s and had got a sweat on! Nuff Said! The disappointment on realising it was not real, was shattering to my confidence and morale! 
As per usual it started with my just getting there in time, but things needed some input from me to get moving… “Eurgh! Argh! Oooh! I got things flowing, and it did the stopping again part-way, and needing even more painful pushing to finish it off. 
Got on the computer and got the updating finished for the Monday post. And with little hassle from Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley or Dizzy Dennis! So I got the job done in a reasonable time. Posted it off and sent Emails. 
I make two more waste black-bags up, and took them with the others to the chute and deposited them all down the shaft. No signs of anyone about. 
Well, off to the wet room, to do the ablutions and have another fight with the sock-glide. 
The latest UK Coronavirus update looked bleak. There is a larger number in Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire. Oh, dear!
One piece of mail was a load of can-we-sell-you bumph, the other confirmation of my rent being paid at the new increased rate. 
Also, as well as, I took something of a rarity today; a wee-wee! But it as a good one, of the TTSLTATO (Torrential-Throughout-Stopped-Like-Turning -A-Tap-Off) mode.
Finished of this blog up to here, but let the beans burn and chips over-cooked! Humph! But this did not stop the pleasure in the deglutition of the meal. The pork knuckle was so delicious tasting! The beans seasoned just right! The chips were crispy! And the mini-tomatoes, donated by a kind lady resident tomatoes were excellent! The Jenny-supplied apple rounded off a treat of a feast. Flavour-rating: 9.25/10!
00:10hrs: Woke, throne needed, struggled out of the recliner to the wet room. Things went a little easier today, but still messy. Little bleeding. No toe stubbing. But I managed to give the humerus and ulnar nerves a clouting on the corner of the door frame, as I came out of the door. When I temporarily lost control of the walking stick. It was the least I could do. After all, the ailments were being so kind to me this morning! Hehehe!
I got the kettle on, then decided to get the vegetables prepared, to marinate in the seasoning in the crockpot. I tried to recall the seasoning I used last week. Beef stock, hickory, and Sharwoods black bean sauce. I’ve not many tins of garden peas left now, so I’ll miss them off this time. No mushrooms to use either. Dangwangles!
I caught mt thumb on the bottom of the hot saucepan. Hard to believe that I could do something like that, I know. Hehehe! I put some vaseline on it, and it bubbled! 
By which time the appetite had returned, at the smell and sight of the bowlful of stew I’d cooked! The so-called braised beef in onion gravy just may have weighed 3-4 ounces at most! But, this did not fuss me too much, all the more onion gravy in the bag! Along with my (for once) successfully seasoned and cooked vegetables, they created a meal I gave an overall flavour rating of 9/10, too! 
When I did finally get settled to watch some TV, Law & Order episodes, (they usually send me to sleep at the first set of commercials), I got the feeling that the phone or mobile would go off and wake me. 
02:30hrs: I stirred into mock-life, and realised that just about everything attached to my wobbly-overweight stomach, was shaking to varying degrees. Shoulder-Shaking-Shirley was so bad, she was hitting my elbow on the recliner arm! Shaking Shaun had taken a fancy to the head and neck this morning. Worst perhaps, was Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters failures were making it so difficult to sense anything hard, and getting up to respond to the urgent call to the Porcelain Throne was not easy! (The bonus, was, that there was no Neuropathic Schuhplattler dancing from the right leg) 
After much faffling-about, I got on my feet, caught my balance, grabbed at the four-pronged walking stick, dropped it, bent down to pick it up and ‘Klunk’ down on my knees I went! Bearing in mind, the imperativeness of my getting to the Throne in time was increasing! Humph! I actually appreciated having the shakes from Nicodemus at the time, because there was hardly any pain at all when Arthur Itis’s patelas hit the floor! That usually come later, when the transmitter nerves start working again. Unnerving getting pains and you can’t see or remember why! 
The veins in the pins had started to protrude again. The varicose were not too bad, mind. The spider and 
While in there, I did the teggies and had a shave. And very pleased with how it went, considering that Shirley didn’t ever stop shaking, although she kept altering the rate of power. And I only had two tiny cuts after the session! Smug Mode Adopted! 
To the kitchen, and put some bits in a carrier, to give to Jenny when she comes. As a thank you for helping me out again. 
I dug out some chips from the bottom of the freezer. Got a pate and a few tomatoes left to have with them. 
The landline flashed, it was the Chemist, telling me the prescriptions would be at the door in a few minutes. I waited five or six minutes, not wanting to make social-contact with the lady, and carefully opened the door, making sure she had gone first and collected the pack from where she had left it for me. 
01:35hrs: By, Jiminee, was I shaking when I woke up? Yes, I was! Not shivering. Just like like Johnny Kidd & the Pirates in 1960, I was certainly, ♫ Shaking all over ♫. Not half! Only this was a version played by “Inchcock & the Ailments!” Hahaha! The only thing not shaking was the right leg. The knee yes, but that is part of the Peripheral Neuropathy and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters dying. And I dropped the walking stick when I picked it up, Nicodemus’s work again! Nowt to be done about that. Shaking Shoulder-Shirley was busily bashing away at the right scapula and joint. Shaker-Shaun was encouraging the head and neck to jolt about occasionally, too. 
Considering how I was rushing so as not to get caught out again at the Throne when I spotted the missing box of the Korean seaweed crispies, delivered last night. (They are still there now, I forgot all about them, being hidden behind the chairs, Tsk!) 
Getting the new PPs from the bag, a surge from Dizzy Dennis had me fall towards the wall, I ended up knocking some things off of the floor cabinets. Unfortunately, a glass bottle of the antacid medicine was one of the things that went over…and landed on the foot and toe that I stubbed yesterday! 
Of course, it didn’t bother me in the slightest! 
I got the vegetables in the crockpot, seasoned, gravied (put some hickory in it), and cooking on a low setting.
I tried to get an order on Morrison.s and Iceland again, but no luck.
I got the vegetable stew sorted out, and despite my ailments, I enjoyed it a lot. Talking of lot, there was a lot of it as well, but I ate it all!
Getting the washing up done afterwards was so frustrating! I reckon I dropped or spilt more things than I didn’t!
02:35hrs: I awoke, still feeling a tad groggy and tired. I waited for the brain to engage gear and the fog to lift from the grey cells, and things became mentally at least, active! By the time I’d had an enthusiastic and satisfying itch around my massive, wobbly, overweight midriff, I recognised the urgent need to get myself to the wet room! So I did! 
I few moments of Mind-Thoughts blasting: 
Spirits dipped a tad when I went to get the medications out of the draw. I am now taking the Warfarin doses blind. No blood test for weeks now, so obviously, I have no idea what amount I should be taking! At least if I am imbibing too much, it might just be cutting myself and bleeding to death, might happen if Little Inchies fungal lesion flows. Too little Warfarin, and a stroke, seizure or heart attack. But, of course, that’s providing that the Coronavirus doesn’t get me first! Or Duodenal Donald doesn’t burst open. Maybe Anne Gyna’ll get me? Or the mechanical ticker battery will run out? Or the blood cancer starts again? Perhaps, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters will go into complete failure? Or, the Peripheral Neuropathy may start an involuntary right leg Schuhplattler dance, when I’m crossing the road, and I’ll get squashed by a lorry? No, no, no! With the lock-down I’ll not be outside will I, and will there be any lorries on the road by then anyway? Ah, the part bullet still inside me might suddenly rust? Nae, its been no bother for donkey’s years. It’s a game innit? Hahaha! You’ve got to laugh!
By the time I’d stopped the Mind-Blast, the tea had gone cold. So I took the medications to the computer desk, oiled the ear-holes, creamed certain areas in need of the same, and made another brew. I noticed that I had acquired what looked like a scorch mark on my right hand? No doubt during a period of a Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitter failure and the nerves did not inform the brain.
I tried again to read my notes to use on the phone call with the help, from Angela. 
Embarrassing 
Odd that I should use the term I did there. Because that is the very thing that emitted from my innards moments later, a little sort of silent involuntary Plump, felt more than heard! I hastened to the Porcelain Throne, but didn’t make it in time! The evacuation again was under the control of my innards. Runny, messy, and smelly. Yet, still, the movement was painful? Had a shower and cleaned up, new PP’s on, and the trousers were thrown away, disinfected thoroughly, in a black bag on there own! Now my spirits sank, shame grew, and a despondency developed!
I then read about Morrisons supplying £35 food boxes, £10 delivery. But could not get to find them on the site, of course. 
I gave up computing and any thoughts of mind control as the head spun. 
00:00hrs: I reckon it must have been around midnight when I woke up. And I lay in uhtcearing mode, the mind stewing, pondering over this and that; Will I get the milk and bread on Morrison’s order? Why am I not shaking, Arthur Itis’s pains are none existent, the horrible ‘Hum’ is so loud, why? Can I keep it together today? How many new cases and deaths with Coronavirus will there be today? On, and on the Thought Storm blasted! 
As the song, composed by Lionel Bart, 
considering the text message that I got this morning, from Gov.UK. telling me I have to stay at home. 
An email came in from Morrisons re today’s delivery. No bread today, and they couldn’t deliver an alternative? On the plus side, they are letting me have a 9-pack of toilet rolls. They do help though, and with sending little food, it should help my dieting, and I should not need so many toilet rolls. Good, innit! 
I wonder if I might try grilling some bits of the carpet? I’ve got some sauces I have with it, out of date, fair enough, but still. Hehe! The British sense of humour saves the day again! 
Todays ordered three weeks ago, Morrison delivery arrived. I got it put away, clandestinely, not showing the rolls through the window. I wish I’d got a safe now!
I got the handwashing done, wrung and hung.
Come back the next day for a refund? Mmm? I’m confused and befuddled!
I took a photo from the unwanted, thick-framed, light & view-blocking, new anti-photographer designed kitchen window. I would have taken a shot of Chestnut Walk below as well, but the giant window ledge makes me have to use the step-ladder to reach out for the picture taking. Humph! 
As the meal was being served up, the intercom light flashed. I’m really glad I was in the kitchen at the time, cause the tune from the intercom wouldn’t have been heard with the fire door shut! It’s on its loudest setting too! It was an Amazon delivery chap, with the giant pack of instant potato-flakes that I’d ordered, at last! The man left them outside the door and had retreated to the lobby door, he shouted something I could not decipher, and I shouted a ‘Thank You’, as he ran off. And, I don’t blame him!
I opened the package, to reveal a ginormous bag of Maggi Potato Flakes. 4kg! Haha! 
I got the meal served up. I have to say, that I am amazed at how well the Piccolo tomatoes have lasted, over a week now and they have no signs of shrivelling up yet? I wonder if they have been irradiated? The Flavour rating for this slowly eaten and enjoyed feast was 8.8/10! Baked beans with Hickory, smoked ready-cooked bacon (Sadly all gone now!), tomatoes and the really different and gorgeous Truffle Fries! Which I have acquired a strong proclivity for. 
I fumble my body mass out of the recliner and fell on my knees. (Klunk, double-thud, Argh!) Luckily the phone is only two normal paces from where I fell, I used the swivel chair (but got away with it, Phew!) to get back up, and was sure the phone would stop ringing before I got to it. But no! I got there in time, pain as well, but pleased with myself for getting there on time at all! 
I took a photo of the pins (legs) as I took off the socks and trousers to get back in the recliner, I noticed how pale they looked compared to earlier? No way of guessing at why, with no Warfarin blood test results to assess with.