Nicodemus’ Neurotransmitters failing

Inchie: Monday 29th May 2023 From Accifauxpasville!

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I’d be lost without the Carers. Some have shown me so much help and understanding. I feel they are like friends more than just Carers doing a job. I did actually ask two of them to adopt me as a Grandfather. Hehehe!
The job is not an easy one. They are a cut above the ones at the home I went in after the stroke.
Bless them all!
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I almost burst awake after four hours of blessed sleep. With a jump, juddering, with the left eye still twitching? Acclimatised myself to the current renewal of consciousness, and checked on the wall clock… but it wasn’t there? I checked again, in case it was one of the female ailments that caused the clock to disappear from view. This needed an investigation… so adopting my Sherlockian Status, I first got the Night pouch detached. had done a good job putting it on. It took me a little pains and about 15 minutes to get it off, carefully without breaking anything. Then the again, I got hold of my , hobbling over to the wall without a clock on it. The investigationalising began! Just as Sherlock would have done (I’m sure), I detected that some of the paperwork nearby was now on top of some bags on the floor… but where was the flipping clock? Being an experienced loser of property, ideas, thoughts and good luck, I decided to get the torch and see if the wall clock had rolled underneath the 1962-built, falling to pieces, Hopewell’s E-Plan Sideboard, with the doors falling off. No luck: if it had been under there, I’d have seen it, it’s white and big.
Check around the room, but with a feeling that had it fallen off in that corner, it would have stayed there atop the bags of rubbish and forgotten about brick-a-brac?
I was confused now!
But, jobs to be done. So I made up the waste bags into one. And checked out the tootsies in the light from the kitchen window.
The ankle was the thing that drew my attention. What the heck was the white mark? I couldn’t rest then, I had to try to clean it off, gave it a wipe with a cloth, it didn’t move! At that time, the summoning to the came, so I grabbed , & off I trotted, wobblingly to the wet room.
More curiousness hit me. Why had I left the things on top of the non-working W.C. lid?
I’d already got the clock to worry over, so I put this out of my mind. I’m most adept at that, you know? Putting things out of my mind. The problem is retaining things I’m my mind! Hehehe!
Then, for the first time in months, I had a similar type of evacuation, not the opposite as it has been. was again in full command – the messy little bugger!
Still, it was wash & shave time, so after cleaning up the mess made by Trotsky’s spatterings, I was going to clean my teggies as per usual first job. But no! The toothbrush had vanished as well as the clock? Much more time was lost fruitlessly searching for it.
acci-whoop Had the shave next. I thought it had all gone extremely well until I moved back from the mirror, and the blood ran from my chin onto my belly. I hadn’t felt any cuts occurring while shaving?
I went to get the Brut aftershave, an excellent if initially painful blood-stopper…  and I got a prize-class toe stubbing.
I considered the possibility of hibernating!
Swore a little, stopped the bleeding, and got on with the body wash. Always a risk when ‘doing’ scrubbing up near and around . However, today, no bother. I wondered if my luck was changing… I think the daftest things! I moved on to the tender-areas medicalisationings.
Very tender, the rear end and the middle buttocks this time. I must get some more Germolene and Germoloid ointments & cream.
I decided to get into the risky business of refilling the water tank, then remembered Jenny saying about using the shower. Haha! A pain-free refilling! But no! The light came on at the power point, but nothing happened? I think there was a noise of some sort, but it might have been from elsewhere and couldn’t identify it anyway. I’ll try again next visit to the Throne.
Four trips were enough this time to fill the tank. I heroically filled the first two buckets up to the top of the containers and gently carried each one back to the non-working W.C. water tank. that sweet was not too bad about it this trip!
For some banal reason that’s beyond me, I put the things back onto the non-working W.C. lid? The pleasure of putting on just one thin dressing gown was very pleasing.

But the PPs getting on was not one of the easiest I’d had to do.
I got into the usual position in the corner so as to avoid tumbling over in the case of lost balance… Wedged my bottie in the wall, and got the easier-to-use right leg; the more troublesome one, without any hassle! Then, of course, to get the better leg means balancing on the dodgy right leg to do so! Using the picker-upper, as advised by the District Nurse, nine times out of ten, tears the paper fabric of the pants. Although is good for getting trousers up… balance permitting.
Anyroad up, I almost went over but managed to lunge for the grab bar in time. Still got a new bruise on the right leg, but still. Aftershaed and deodorant splashed them all over, and off to the kitchenette. Taking these two photos as I got in, and put the kettle on.
The tea was not made for various reasons. But I needed to drink more water anyway to get the wee-wee flowing again. It was reluctant all day yesterday. And the Finasteride Prostate reducing course of tablets only has three days left. So, it looks like a permanent catheter for Inchie!
Carer Richard arrived as I was setting up the computer.
started kicking off as he arrived, and have been with me ever since, still at it! Grrr!
Carer Richard Set about giving me the medications and he told me about the Finasteride Prostate tablets about to run out. I meant to ask him to Phorpain Gel the back, but I forgot! Humph! He checked the medication drawer and wrote down the details.

He confirmed the urine as a 6 rating. I thanked him and bade him farewell, wishing him a good sleep. Took the photo above, and, again, put the kettle on. Not managed to make a brew yet, though!

I took this picture of the feet, but as I was doing so, granted me one of his, sometimes nervous-making routines, unexpectedly and without any warning. That was a rarity. I can usually feel the and get a warning… but not this time. I clouted the wayward leg on the corner of the floor cabinet, right on the bruise I got getting the PPs on!

Some days… you wonder why!

At long last, I started the blog. And…

Why does Liberty-Global, a smoke & mirrors man, oligarch, $26 million a year getting Mr Fries, show no interest in the company he bought out, complete failure? Obviously, there will be some money laundering, tax evasion, underhandedness,  profit-making, or some such scheme or the like involved in his ulterior motive!
Pure jealousy and hatred on my behalf!

arrived in a chirpy mood. Very kind to me. She gelled my lower back, rubbing it in well. Nice! Read the questionnaire for me. I was struggling to hear what she said, mind you. But I think it worked out alright. She could not call the Easy-Link for me as it’s a Bank Holiday – No one told me until now! Thanked her and went to make a mug of tea at last.

Hello, a mistake here, surely? The Liberty-Global Virgin Media internet is back online. Well, I never!  Mr Fries is likely visiting his oligarch friends in Moscow or Mafia Italy, as it’s a Bank Holiday – although, do they have them in America?

FOUND THE CLOCK!
It beat me, but it was in the first corner I checked; underneath some carrier bags. How it got there, I’ll never know!.
Got it on the shelf now.

Then:
Jealousy eats at me!

Packing in now; if it goes off again, I don’t think I  could survive the anger and hatred Fries would instil in me.

Going to get the nosh sorted – back in the morning.

♬ MORNING HAS BROKEN – Like Virgin Media…♬
Arrived; no medications were needed. But, she rubbed in some of the Phorpain Gel; to help counter the agony (tonight, anyway) of  .
Then to .

♬ FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD ♬
Lovely!

Oddlimost markings on the leg, spotted by the Carer?

acci-whoop

I got up to take this shot. Had a second . Then knocked the kitchen roll and hander off of the window ledge. Bent down to retrieve it, and showed her disgust in her usual way – painfully! Then… , I spilt the milk all over the cooker!

Sleep was hard to come by again.

Back to the old rampages! They were amazingly vicious… but suddenly stopped, I got a clear, precise message from or , maybe from both of them, that momentarily made me shiver. No, messing about; it sounded like it was set in concrete… The warning, or quote, was; “This trifling incident was chicken-feed, fiddle-faddle, to the hassle you’ll get tomorrow, mate!” I was aware of his/their choice of words ‘Hassle’ No mention of injuries or any … just ‘Hassle’. My did not return… but they were not needed to keep me awake. My imagination and fear did a good job of that!

My , has never-ever been wrong!

Cheers, each!
He says nervously!

Inchie: Sunday 28th May 2023

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A Jolly Good Morning to you…
I greeted the world with a rendition of “Oh, what a Beautiful Morning”, followed by “Onward Christian Soldiers”. Bounded out of the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickening beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue-collecting recliner, and did a few rounds of shadow-boxing. Then 10 minutes on the weight lifting, and went out onto the balcony, and Yodelled Frank Ifield’s “She Taught Me To Yodel…

Or…

I stirred after only about four hours worth of kip, checked the clock, 04:45hrs, and swiftly fell back to sleep.
Woke with a nervous tic attached to my left eye, and checked the clock again, 05:00hrs.
I considered the option of getting up… Zzz!
06:00hrs the next time I woke, still with the nervous tic in the left eye. Danged annoying that was!
Back to Kip, I floated… Not waking until gone 07:00hrs! The tic still twitching away.
I even had to force myself then to rise from the comfort (that’s not the right word) of the recliner, to grapple with getting the night bag from . It soon dawned on me, that the night pouch had not been attached.
If I remember rightly, I must have forgotten to ask the Carer to do it. Of had I taken it off myself earlier? I think not, because the urine in the day bag was a deep brown-red. I stood and caught my balance, reached for , took off the dressing gown to cool me cool down, and went off to utilise, in response to the early call to the . Once0 again, was in control, very messy! However, ailment number 21, , after carrying the buckets of water to refill the not-working for 9 weeks now W.C. water tank, was far easier than she has been lately. That is thanks to the Carers rubbing in the Phorpain Gel regularly for me for a few days now. Easing the discomfort. But, as usual, the started off, as if to cover for BPB’s absence. Hehehe!
I got the computer on, determined to get yesterday’s blog sorted ASAP.
After five minutes of putting the photographs in from the Kodak SD card, and I realised many pictures that I took last night, were not there! Tsk! – !

Then, I got a bit of a shock, sat sitting here, again wearing only , and the morning Carer came into the room! Somehow I’d not heard the chime.
I clabbered about to get the dressing gown back on sharpishly. got the medications sorted. Then got some gel rubbed into my back. Very welcome! Cheers! 
Peptac taken. But no Paracetamols were needed.
I believe that Phorpain, which has Ipobrufen in it, serves as an extra painkiller? Having it rubbed in so often, it gives me a chance to reduce the drugs I’m taking. I’ll see how the pain levels go… Huh! As I typed about this, would you believe that the started off again?

I got the Saturday blog finished, and I posted it off to WordPress.

demand number two arrived. was even more dominant on this visit.
I dropped the PPs, sat, shat and was upright again within literally seconds! The mess was unbelievable and took me ages to clean up, and the bending to wash things disturbed , who was accompanied by a more persistent ! So much for cutting back on the drugs! I thought I’d better take another Galphram in hopes of controlling ‘s appetite for wet, smelly, gooey evacuationing!
The pins and plates seemed to be looking better.
Apart from the ankles of course.
Then, the urine started flowing a lot easier and faster for an hour or so. And a lot clearer and lighter colour, too!
I’ve not had a good stubbing for a long time now. This one was a cracker! Not that it bothered me, of course.
Pain means nothing to me at all.

Josie aThe door chime chimed. It does that! I’ve noticed it a few times. Hehe!
It was neighbour Josie from across the hall. The poor gal was having trouble with her kettle again. Despite my acute lack of knowledge and fear of anything mechanical, technical or complicated, I went in to see if I could help her. I think I worked out what it was, too. I could be wrong, of course. But believe that the insert into the base looked worn a little. So filled her kettle up, and it worked! She’ll need a new one, though, to be on the safe side with electrics. She went to Wilko, but they had none in stock. So, a made her a mug of coffee, said my farewells and returned to the flat. And ordered her one from Asda, I hope her current one lasts until it arrives.

Got an email from old friend Chrissie, telling me that the cataract replacement is a ‘Doddle’, to use her own words. That was kind of her; she always knew what I was thinking 66 years ago when we were neighbours. and a lot younger. Hehehe!
Chrissie said she’d had two cataracts done. She mentioned a procedure she has to go through, regularly with an injection in her eye. I looked it up. I think it is called ‘Laser Injection Photo Dynamic’. Bless her! ♥ I asked her if she found out what it was that was eating her toe.

Got the oven heating up, and a can of Golokowa ready, then peas & carrots in the saucepan. All I have to do when the potatoes are cooked is get some slabs of the Flora Non-Butter butter in a couple of bread rolls. We’ll see how it goes; my plans are famous for their failures!

I’ll see if I can get it done before the night carer arrives.
Back soon… or in the morning.

MORNING CATCH-UP:

arrived. Medicationalised me, and took the waste bags with him. A little natter, I’m not sure either of us understood each other, but we ended up laughing. Haha!

The cloud formations tonight were indicative of changing weather, as Dad used to tell me. See that? I can recall from 70 years ago… but still, I forget to turn off taps, heaters, the stove, the shower power box, lock or unlock a door, the time, day, date… etc.! This picture evoked my love of nature.

I finished making the meal and got it served up on the plate and tray. Golonkowa, thick chips, carrots and peas; with two bread rolls filled with chunks of Flora no-butter butter. The chips were okay, and bread rolls and peas & carrots were all decent enough too… The Golonkowa and Plant butter were fantastically tasty!.
A well-deserved Flavour-Rating given of 8.2/10.

I washed the pots and settled down in the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. To watch something on the TV.
How come, when I want to sleep at night, I can’t? Yet nearly always nod-ff watching the goggle-box when the first set of commercials come on? Humph!

I was well away dreaming and came in, turned on the light, and it took me a while to work out where I was and what I was doing. I must have been deep in sleep.
Handed out the Peptac, then dolloped on and rubbed in some Phorpain Gel into my lower back. Nice! It really helps ease the pain from . Thanks! He then got the attached, a little too tightly, I found; when it came to me getting it off in the morning, to . Understandably, the lad doesn’t want it to come loose and leak. Took the fresh wastrel bag with him.

I had to get up to turn off the light. Got up easily enough, grabbed the , and turned off the light. Then… acci-whoop – A against the ottoman returning to the chair. At least I didn’t get tangled up in the long night-pouch tube this time. Hehehe!

Could I get back to sleep? No! Not for ages!

Fare Thee Well!

Inchie: Saturday 27th May 2023

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A sleepless night again. A bad start to the day. So, there is nothing new there, then!

I believe I got up, not woke up, cause I never got to sleep: at 04:35 hours. I’m certain-ish that was the time on the big clock.
Time seemed to go by like greased lightning!

I took the night pouch from .
A little dark again.

Thinking I had plenty of time before the arrived, and needing to use the , I made for the wet room and got on the Throne first.
Well, another reversal in the fight between & . Trotsky had regained superiority over Konrad this morning. What a messy job! I got teggies, carefully cleaned. A fair bit of bleeding, though. Then tackled the shaving, with Blood-Bringing-Boris-Razor adding to the haemoglobin loss, and only from two little nicks. A good splashing of the Brut after-shave stopped it easily enough. I was already stripped for the shower, turned on the power to the shower, went back into the wet room and opened the shower curtain to have a looked-forward-to-shower. acci-whoop As the two end curtain rings shot off!
Not wanting to splash the water all over the room, I decided to get the step ladder and replace the hooks to the curtain.
I got the picker-upperer, picked both hooks up, and in doing so, caught my chin with the handle of the picker-upper. The blood flowed again! So, even more, Brut after-shave was used, which stung a bit this time.
I went off into the front room, got the ladder, went back to the wet room, and gingerly got up the ladder eventually; it took me a while, with my not seeing so good, but I did get them reattached.
Then, a moment of doubt came over me – had I left the kitchen sink tap running? It had to be checked out. Despite that it was, or should have, been obvious that I had not used the kitchen taps yet!
In the kitchen, and while in there, I thought I’d put the kettle on, which I did, why I don’t know. Then:
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Came in; I didn’t hear the door chime cause I was in the kitchen. It must have taken her a lot of effort not to burst out laughing! Well done, gal!
There I was, reaching up to get the kettle filter, wearing nothing but a red face and .
With only a quickly-grabbed sheet of kitchen towel to try and hide my poor Little Inchie, I made my way to get a dressing gown on. I think she saw the funny side of things. I hope.
My mind was all over the place then. I forgot momentarily about me just about to have a shower as we talked about something or other. I even asked her to put some Phorpain gel
on . Not realising I’d be under the shower shortly. I was really confused and struggled with things.
I think that took the laundry down for me, but I’m not sure if it was Sam or the later Carer, Jo-Anne. Sam took the waste bag and had a smile on her face, I’m sure; when she departed. Hehehe! I don’t blame her, either.

I got the showering completed at last. Spent most of the time doing it, thinking about how I could have got the time so wrong this morning. Then I decided it was the fault of Sac, and . Before I’d finished the shower, I added , then another guilty one, . I may add to this list later.
The feet and legs were looking betterer. Dried off with the bath towel, and started the medicationing. then I Germoloided .
Germolened the stomach flab and between the legs and on the outer bum. (Catheter catching)
Daktacorted poor .
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Got the alert and alarm wristlets back on.
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Got some more aftershave on the cuts that were leaking blood again… That made me jump a bit!

Carer Chris came, but what the heck happened during this visit? Apart from a feeling it went well, there are no details in my memory bank whatsoever.

By the time I’d got a bit of nouse back, I found I’d posted off the Friday blog. I just hope that I’ve finished it first.

I found the oven on with nothing in it. I’d taken out frozen cobs to that in the heat on the window ledge.
Found this photo – no idea when I took it.
But it is beautiful.

Can’t recall taking this one at all, or why. Mayhap, giving me some pain and stick, with having to fetch buckets of water again to flush the loo?


Aha, This one prompted the memory box.
It was when I first put the computer on this morning.
Self posing? Hehehe!

Yee-Gawds! It’s nearly 19:00hrs. evening visit. A new lad, he’s coming out of his closet now. Getting my sense of humour I think he likes it. He Phorpained my lower back, gave me some Peptac, and took the bin bags with him. He also checked the electricity meter, but was as aware if what to get a reading as I was – Zilch! I’ve added it to the list of help needed on the whiteboard. Getting full now.

Arrived, Blimey, it’s gone 20:00hrs already.
Better get the nosh sorted.
Back in the morning to play catch-up!

Saturday Morning Late.
WHAT A RIP-ROARING COCK-UP!

I took photographicalisations of the meal, the night sky, a bleeding finger & my stubbed toe… Maybe others?
This morning I took three, the urine bag, the morning view, and the bloodied stubbed toe again. Then I belatedly realised the card was in the reader! Arrgh!
Back to last night…

Found this on the SD though...
I’m not certain why I took this one?

Judging by the shadow’s position, I took this mid-afternoon.

After tea-time?

I think I look this one earlier and missed it, but maybe not. The urine was clear, but by the morning, it was back to a sort of dark brown/red. Note some papules trying to reappear?

I put this into the computer, which is where I left it while I took a load of other lost photographs!

TTFNski

Inchie: Friday 26th May 2023: His Phacoemulsification Appointment Has Arrived! (Cataracts)

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– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –I rose rapidly from the aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recline, the moment I stirred. Did a few press-ups and shadowboxing, and go with the weights… I’ll try again…

I woke up coughing with the odd sneeze and bent down to remove the night pouch. Almost immediately and the most annoying kicked off. Then my spectacles fell off of my head. I dropped the picker-upperer retrieving them. Now, the hinges are even loser and more delicate than they were before! And the which the picker-upperer fell on, are sorer!
I lifted the bag to see how much had been passed in the night, and the colour to record on the log. Carer Sam later confirmed it was a level four.
I made up the waste bags. Then I washed the pots. Went to make a brew of tea, and had to shoot off (Well, hobbled) to the wet room in response to the innards rumbling and rear-passageway’s seemingly-urgent emissions of winds. I fumbled my way and got the PP’s down, tearing them in my haste.
Then just sat there waiting for something to move for ages. Couldn’t see to do the crosswording, or count the cracks on the ceiling. Worra life!  Hehe!
 Good heavens look at the time; it’s gone 19:00hrs. I’ll have to do the rest in quick mode, or I’ll not get owt to eat.

Carer Sam called, and we had a little natter.
Carer Jodie next. Good, short chinwag.
Then I got the call from QMC EENT.
.
I tried to call EasyLink to book a lift there and back.
But no answer – weekend again, innit! Things needing help, always come at the weekend! I asked the evening Carer to make sure I’m reminded to call them again Monday morning.
Then I rang Meridian to inform them.
Got some blogging done.
, , and then the all kicked off within about an hour, ruining my joy at getting the cataract appointment!

Through the balcony window.
A second shot shows the fallen-off curtains. Humph!

Afternoon wee-wee. A good colour!

Nice few this afternoon.
Check on the worker-free house.

Finally, the first mug of Thompson Punjana tea.
Four cookies only are allowed. (Alright, I had five!)

Second visit to the .
It took me about 25 minutes.
In command again.


I think I may have put this on earlier in the week.
It’s the latest date from about mid-April when first reporting the fault. It keeps getting retimed for later. 
Jenny emailed me asking if she can do anything , bless her cotton socks and lovely nature. ♥

PAREIDOLIAING DELIGHT!
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Bootiful!
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The top shot was taken to the left, bottom one to the right from the kitchenette window.
I stopped the blood from trapping my digit in the can opener.

Fodder time – back later on. TTFN
I’m back!

What a sky that developed. No pareidoliaising, though.
But so beautiful. I’ll ask Tim in New Mexico what these
are called; he’ll know. Clever chap & Ether-Mate.

The evening arrived as I was prepping the meal. Good timing. Gave my back a dose of painkiller cream.
No tablets needed, painkillers, I meant. With the back pain gel having Ibuprofen, in it, I expect it will help a little without extra tablets to cope with .
Usual night prescription meds dealt out.

What another feast. A mixed bag of a hotpot, stew, call it what you will. Two defrosted bread rolls, to funk in the liquid… which had in it: Fresh leeks, baked potatoes and a can of thick vegetable soup; with my secret ingredients. Although they won’t be now cause I’m telling you. Hehehe!
Borscht beetroot juice and some peas. A decent splash of BBQ sauce, veg oxo cubes, sea salt, and baked potato cubes.
Followed by…
Some delicious vegan ice cream!
Overall Taste Rating: 9.2/10!.
Grrreat!
The best bit, is I have enough left in the saucepan, to have the same tomorrow – with different sliced potatoes as a side!

Turned off the computer, and went to take more shots of the ever-changing sky view.
Nice!

Then I got down in the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner, to watch some ‘Heartbeat’ on TV.

Last call from , who attached the night pouch to . No educational prescription tablets were needed, but I did take some Peptac.

In hopes of getting up early to have a good shave, shower and scrub-up, followed by a freshening up & medication of the outer and some inner areas; I prayed as I settled back into the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner; For Sweet Morpheus to be kind to me… Of course, there was not a ghost of a chance! Not tonight, yet he let me fall asleep twice… no, three times at the hospital on Thursday?
No at all. Well, not to the usual standard. Yet despite this, and feeling so tired and worn out mentally, sleep, getting off to sleep, took me hours of absolute boredom and frustration. After a few hours, I noticed that the had barely any urine in it?

So, I rose up delicately from the recliner, caught my balance, grabbed , and went off to the kitchenette to get another bottle of soda water; hopefully to encourage urination.
The view from the window revealed a part moon, so, back to get the Kodak to try and get a decent shot of it…
– acci-whoop My dodgy leg caught on the long tube of the . Yes, I wand up on one knee… the one with the day pouch on it, but thankfully it did not burst – how with all my body mass landing, I don’t know; but was glad about that! Sore and embarrassed, annoyed, and peed off, yes!
Crawled on all-fours to the wet room, and used the not been working for two months WC tank and bowl, to get myself upright again on my feet. Gave the pouch a further check; all looked okay, and rubbed some Dettol in the knee lesions.

But I was determined to take some photos of the moon!
Limping a little more now, I returned to the kitchen.
Perturbedly, I now had as well as attending me. Followed as got ready to take the pictures, by an , courtesy of … it took a while for them to relent as well. So the photos did not come out very well
.
Disappointed in my photographicalisationings. But I felt sure I’ll be able to get to sleep, at least?

But No…
As I was closing the window belatedly, I clouted my knee on the radiator…
It left a dent in the metal… as I hit it,
did at the same time!

But was I annoyed, in pain, bleeding, angry, fed-up?
A man of my calibre? Oh, No!

I wiped away the tears, and returned, hobblingly, to the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner. I hope of sleep!

After failing to nod off for several more hours…
I gave up and got up.

My best-laid plans end up vacantly,
Errors and mind blanks grow with virility,.
Plans have no viability but are a liability.
Results end up finicky, frolicky,
Life holds no more bonhomie…
Never won the pools, Ernie or the lottery…
Good luck for me? No feasibility…

I guess I’m just unlucky?

Inchie: Wednesday 24th May: Brain-Scan Results Today!

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I stirred back into imitation life around 05:30hrs. I pondered for a moment to two, as to how and why I was hanging halfway out of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner. I couldn’t work it out, though.
I rearranged the limbs back into a safe position, then detached the night bag from .
Not a lot (As Paul Daniels used to say), of urine in the there. And it was a bit too dark-coloured, compared to the usual morning shade. A lot of itching from the area where tube was inserted. I had to resist scratching things. Not easy, and I weakened to the urge, and things started bleeding a smidge. Not that it bothered me at all.

I titivated day bag. So it was not pulling so much on Little Inchie.
I assume I’d been dreaming and moving about, and that is what caused the bleeding?
Cleaned things, medicated them with plain cream, and the need of the developed, off to the wet room.

I think that both and must have been in the midst of a battle for superiority this morning?
The first effort took a good while and lot of effort – which was followed by a long dollop of Trotsky’s mush. Can’t recall having this happen before.
I put some of the new Terbinafine creamed under each red armpit. It stopped the irritation almost immediately!

To the kitchen to make the first brew of tea.
Took this shot of the end car park from the balcony.
But, I didn’t make the Glengettie tea.
For arrived as I was washing the pots from last night. I was a little disoriented for some reason. Likely the concern of visiting the and doing three things at the same time, then having to concentrate on the medications. pointed out that the day bag had to be changed today, and set about doing so. He did a good job, too; thanks, mate.
I took this photo after he’d gone. Nice work! He also graded the urine from the earlier photo as a 6-rating, for the record log. Now the day built-up is looking like a three.
Back to the blogging, but most of what happened after I stopped doing it last night, had gone off into the ether. As did several of the photos I took, the meal, a  view and ingrowing toenail were all pictured… I’m sure they were, but not on the SD card again! It has to be doing something wrong.

Pressed on and got the shorter-than-planned blog off to WordPress. Made a start on this one.

brought the laundry back for me. Then I got as far as I could with this and got the started. Going to be a hard job this morning, with having to get dressed. Getting the PPs, and trousers on, is painful & dangerous work. Hehe!
Must get it done early, to give myself time to sort the paperwork and make sure I am aware of the details, timings etc.
Off to the wet room at 11:00hrs. See how long it takes this time…

12:55hrs. Under the regulation of two hours… by five minutes. This was when I was in the shower, arrived, a stiff knocking on the wet room door informed me. Hehe!
So, I had to cut it short and rush through the various ‘delicate’ areas of medicationalisationing. gave me the Peptac, and checked the catheter bag. Saying that had done a good job of it…

Got things ready for the lift. And got down with the thee-wheeled-walker to the main lobby. The driver was just arriving, bless him. I could have taken some photos with Kodak en route… but forgot all about having it in my pocket till I got home… (Spit!) I paid up my debts first thing.
The driver walked me to the entrance, making sure I was inside.
I registered and sat waiting to be called. I wish I’d offered him a drink now, but didn’t think. (Stock in the trolley taken with me)
Zzz!
The nurse woke me up, and for some unknown reason to me, en route, I walked into an office, thinking that was where we were going?

Then as we continued down the passage, there was an almighty burst from my rear end!.
As I was apologising, the bottom strap on , fell down on my ankle… and: acci-whoop: It pulled on the inserted tube, resulting in Inchies .
The nurse took me to a toilet and stood guard as I cleaned things up and emptied the pouch. I tried again to evacuate the rear end: But, no! wasn’t having it, despite the hurricane blast of wind, involuntarily released! Humph! I was feeling embarrassed now.

A student was in the room when we finally got there. I said no bother when the nurse asked if that was okay.
She gave me the results of the brain test. I thought the other lady said there will be three evenly-spaced brain tests so they could see any changes? I got that wrong again as well.

They think it is now M.C.I. I looked it up later as I can’t read the printing of the booklet given to me:

What is the MCI stage of dementia? (Mild cognitive impairment [MCI] and it is not mild in my mind at all!) the stage between the expected decline in memory and thinking that happens with age and the more serious decline of dementia. MCI may include problems with memory, language or judgement. People with MCI may be aware that their memory or mental function has “slipped.” Monitoring is essential. And help is available.

M.S.I. or not, she’ll always be Doreen Dementia to me! Hehe!
Back to the tale…

After the rather pointless appointment, the very kind lady led me back to the toilet again… Why? The had suddenly filled up – she stood guard again for me.
Then into the waiting room. I had about an hour to wait for the lift to arrive, and no ability to kill time with the crosswords.
Zzz!.
The driver woke me up, with an “Oy! I’m ready!” Don’t think he said more than a few words all the way back to the flats. I offered him a choice of cans, and he cheered up as he left me.

New INR dosages received. The same as last time. (I think I forgot to mention this earlier.

Got in the flat’s lobby, rang Josie’s bell to see how she was, and gave her a can of G&T… no, it wasn’t; it was a Mojito, I think.

Got in the flat, and the trousers off as soon as I could – Oh, the relief!

Moved the pouch back up to the knee.
Onto the to try once again to have an evacuation. No joy!
The computer on, and progressed with this update.

arrived. Put some Phorpain Gel on my back for me, and medications were given. Little natter and laugh.

Stopped to get the nosh done. Having the herb potatoes tonight.
Back in the morning (2030hrs now). Hope to stay awake to watch the Clint Eastwood movie, Sudden Impact. But no! As I was finishing the meal (No photo, cause in the morning I accidentally deleted it from the Kodak-Arrgh!).

TTFN.

A damned busy morning: Didn’t get around to this update until nearly ten o’clock!
By the time the Carer had sorted me out with medications and got the night pouch on, the meal was cold. Threw most of it away. Unfortunately, with the hospital visit, it took me a while to get the nosh prepared. Can’t be helped, and I never thought about it, nor did … Oh, No! Nor did… a possible I.D. for the new gal… any suggestions would be appreciated… M.C.I. – Miranda Charlotte Irene? No, too long… Ah, what about MIChaela? or Mind-Mugging-Micheala-?

The day had been confusing, busy (for me), frustrating, humiliating and cringe-making. Just thought I’d mention it.

May Merriments Mix with your Machinations!

Inchie: Tuesday 23rd May 2023

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Food For Thought Cartoon!
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I emerged from my hibernation at 06:15hrs.


Removed the ‘s night pouch, got it emptied and wrapped it up for disposal.
Attended the first call to the .
Messy this time. It seems that the attack yesterday was short-lived. Was back in control.
Which meant a long time bending down and cleaning up was required. kicked off before I even started fetching and carrying water to refill the unattended too, not working or refilling W.C. water tanks buckets of water.
I think that ARGH! would be a suitable word at this point!
Took a shot of the morning view.
Then back to the Wet room to get washed & shaved.
The underarms were still a little colourful & itchy.
Just two tiny nicks shaving. One bump into the door frame, which urged to join in with I making life a smidge uncomfortable.
Got the waste bags sorted.
arrived while I was making a brew of Glengettie.
Kindly took it through to the front room for me. The Medicationalisations were seen to. I’d just taken one of the stronger non-prescription painkillers, so did not have any Paracetamols.

I got the computer on, Corel~Drawing, then opened the Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet. Need I say?
Oligarchs & Money-Manipulators ain’t bothered!

So, no blogging, then. I had some breakers, though. A pot noodle and another mug of tea, Salisbury’s Brown label Extra-Strong

Two carers arrived, Richard and Tina (the boss). Bringing the new medications. Checked the paperwork and gave me advice.
LIBERTY-GLOBAL VIRGIN INTERNET WAS STILL DOWN after they had departed. Well fancy that!
So went to the wet room to check on .
.
The pins and plates were looking in good nick?

When the Smoke & Mirrors man’s Internet came back on, I took another tablet; it was such a shock! Haha!

I tried to rush updating the Monday blog, but so many mistakes were being made, it still took me hours to get it done.

By the time I got around to starting this blog, it was afternoon!

GCscowl B

I think a Carer came, I’ll check the book. Yes! But can I remember the details? Nope! Although I’d doyen a lot of blogging and re-blogging and mistaking, I know this they were on the screen when I came out of the …
And, it was just before 17:00hrs!

How do I do this nearly every day?
I’ll make a note to tell the nurse tomorrow.
Still sunny outside.

Launched myself into doing this blog at long last.

Going to get some nosh sorted out now.
I want to get my head down early if the Carer comes early on.
I need to feel fresh enough to get up good & early. To sort everything out everything for the hospital trip.
I’ll see if I get time when I get back, to update this bloggeth.

TUESDAY 0540hrs:
Last night catch-up

Great, nosh, took a photo.
Sunset shots too.
Swollen left leg photographed.
Carer called, night pouch and natter (Great!)
took a photo of it.
This morning I found the SD card in the reader…
So nothing to show for my efforts!

Inchie: Wednesday 17th May 2023

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Woke up and removed the pouch. The feet looked even better this morning.

Morning view.
.

Off to the .
The usual struggle is to get the water to refill the non-working W.C. tank. The latest date for an ETA for a plumber is now in July.
Goes without saying, but was agonistic.

Brekkers

Blood Pressure etc., was taken. Far too high!
Cara Kara or Jodie? Assessed the urine as a grade 4. And put some Phorpain Gel on my back for me.

Visit Two.
Sorted the waste bags. Cartoons were done for the blogs.

Front car park.

During which, thee Cares Called. (In the log book)
I’d finished and posted the Tuesday blog. (It had been posted)
I’d acquired a burn mark on my right knuckle. (No idea?)
The balcony door had been opened? (No idea?)
I must have started the meal prepping. I’d opened a can of beans and added some of the Latvian garden peas, and a bottle of Borscht was also been used, added to the saucepan with the last of the fresh vegetables. All together with, I assumed, some BBQ sauce added.
Found this photo on the SD card.
Unfortunately, along with five frames that could not be read by the computer or CorelDraw in the morning.
Format Not Recognised?
I think the blanks covered about four hours or more.

Got the potatoes in the oven, nice and crisp and warmed up the beetroot soup with extra peas, vegetables, beans and seasoning.
Cracking Good Taste!

A new called twice tonight.
Rubbed some Phorpain gel into my back for me.

After he’d gone, I either fell into a deep sleep or
Mind Blank came on.
Woke up at 04:40hrs.

Ciao!

Inchie: Saturday 20th May 2023

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My sweetheart Jillie called on me today. Everything went twinkly. I lost all control as we chatted away, dreaming of being twenty years younger without the catheter. I can dream!
This caused very little else to happen or sink in anyway. So a shortish blog for this Sunday. I shall try to make notes to refer to.
Goodness Gracious me, it’s Saturday, innit?

Here goes…

I woketh up and got the Catheter night bag off of .
There didn’t look like much urine in the night pouch.
But it was a great shade, to say so little had escaped, a 4 rating.

Until I lifted it, and it was a decent amount after all.
Could have been due to or . But my money was on to blame.

The first summoning to the soon arrived as I was taking a photo of the morning view.

Off to the wet room.

Water containers were all prepared for refilling the Water tank that has not refilled itself for two months, and I have to wait until July before anyone can get to me to mend it. Humph!
was in charge again. A dagnab messy job cleaning up afterwards! was in top gear with the pain issuing as I started to carry the buckets of water, ready for the next visit – which you may be surprised to learn was five minutes after exiting the wet room!

This time it was a little more resistant to come out, I half expected a torpedo… but when it did arrive; Splutter-splash all done in seconds.
The urine was flowing well. (Stilton Cheese legs? Haha!)
Got the buckets emptied into the non-working W.C. water tank.
Refilled them due to and her hatred of me lifting and carrying anything whatsoever. I took an extra Codeine and carried on with my noon-working W.C. water tank refilling.

Still can’t find the toothbrush.
The session went wellish. Only two tiny nicks while shaving.
And, no third time for the head bashing against the sink.

Had a struggle again getting the PPs on.
Then I noticed a slight discomfort under the arms.

But the legs and feet looked great!

For the next, I don’t know how long, is mostly   . Jillie had called on me.
She helped settle my worries about the
.
Scary, worrying about phone changes and what I have to do to get it done. And booking alit to the hospital for next week.
I dread the thought of struggling with this.
Also, if it’s going on the Virgin Internet system, it’s more scary. They can’t even get a signal to Nottingham without it going down almost daily now – what chance the telephone?
Mumble, moan, groan & hatred of Liberty-Global Virgin!

acci-whoopI’d left the stew on medium heat for four hours!
I disgorged some of the veg, a can of garden peas and some water, and stirred away at it, hoping for the best.
It looks terrible but tasted okay to me when I tried some.
Got the spuds in the oven.

These photos I must have taken from tea-timeish to 20:20hrs.
Not that I can really recall some of them…
Closed the computer.
I’ll try to catch up in the morning.

PAREIDOLIAING.
I do recall this one. And seeing a tadpole?

Last one of this session.

Back in the morning with the nosh photos.
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Good Morning – Update!

Asked the Carer if she’d put some cream under that arms for me, on the mystery red patches.
They bothered much less within an hour! Thanking her, or him for tending to me! I appreciated that. The affected area was fainter now in the centre underarm. Good!

I salvaged and doctored the borscht. Added some more peas,
and got it served up.
Flavour Rating: 8/10
A good tasty repast. Worth rescuing; glad that I did now.
Potatoes, roast potatoes, beetroot, peas (plenty of them!), carrots, red peppers, onions, and parsnips.
Seasoned with a splash of BBQ sauce and the Przyprawa.
Out of fresh veg now. Plenty of jars and cans in, though!

I got settled, well partially, into the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, testing, c1968 recliner.
Then noticed the change of colour from the sky coming in through the moth-eaten, thin, ripped curtains. I Got got the Kodak (Thanks to Tim in New Mexico donating it to me). And hobbled into the kitchenette to take some shots of the sunset…
acci-whoop I’d left the tap running in the sink from washing the pots up earlier. The hot water was cold, of course, now. . to blame! I belatedly turned off the tap (faucet) and perused my mission of photographicalisationing the sunset before it disappeared.


Back to the unwelcoming £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety recliner.

SWEET MORPHEUS – RESISTANT
THOUGHT STORMS ATTACK!
As for sleep… What’s that, I ask?
No rest for the brain tonight!
made sure of that!
 The layup there tossing & turning, untangling the long night tube of that I’d wrapped around my ankles and legs repeatedly. Thadius went on and on and on, for hour after hour. I even had a few visits from ! Naturally was constantly with me… even when I did get to sleep, he was in the dream I had.

Cheerio, fy ffrind!

Inchie: Friday 19th May 23023

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05:00hrs: I passed the wind and took the night pouch off . It was a smidge dark again. Not the contraption, but the urine, I mean.


Seconds later, there was a call from the innards encouraging me to attend the was responded to. What? Yesterday it was ruling things. This morning, it seems a counter-attack from had been fully successful; Konrad had regained control.
Talk about watery! I sat, I shat, and seconds later, I was cleaning up the WC, the floor, and my right leg. Thought I’d do a bit of freshening up and mopped the floor in the area; there was plenty of Dettol in the bucket.
The usual trudge to get water from the kitchenette to refill the non-working W.C. flush tank. As per: set about giving me pain. Got it done and went to the kitchen to consider putting the kettle on – but no! About ten minutes after the first visit to the , I was rushing back to the wet room, with some urgency for visit number two! acci-whoop Regrettably, I didn’t make it in time!
The disgrace, ignominy, and humiliation!
This time, of course, the cleaning up took twice as long. Cause in my haste to get down on the seat in time, I pulled the tube on  , and found that I’d started bleeding. So, even more pain and suffering, and I’d not yet faced the water-carrying duties! Which really cheered up ! On the last trip, her friend joined in with her. This was very testing.
The early Carer had not arrived yet, so I took a Codeine and Paracetamol to counter the now worse-than-ever discomfort. A few curse words were uttered, I’m afraid!
Washed and put on some new PPs.
.

I spotted some spots coming on the left leg.
.

Also, I kept feeling pulse-like or blood-rushing in veins at the top of my head. I had this on and off all day? Same spot every time. It annoyed me for some reason. It got more frequent too?

.
I went back into the wet room to make sure I hadn’t left anything dangerous on. The bucket and bowl of water sat there on the floor like they were for ‘Fire-Watch’ duties – Hahaha!
.
Checked the water tank I’d filled for the second time.
.

Still no Carer, so I set about cleaning the microwave and cooked casing. Despite Brenda and Anne’s persistence, I got into it!
Microwave in and outside, and cabinets done!.

The stove took me over an hour and a half to get cleaned up.

However, I had a bit of luck, if you can call it that. I found a hob crock pot in the storage underneath the cooker, Which, bearing in mind that I’d burnt two saucepans last week, it was washed and dried and looks okay to use.
I bet the metal handles will get hot?
Still, a .

I got onto the computer at long last, as Carer Sam arrived.
She was doing the second call and realised the first one had not made it to me. Hope they are not poorly or had an accident.
I advised her of my taking a Codeine earlier cause of the pain from . So she didn’t issue me one.
I mentioned the Virgin situation and asked her to see if Deana can help me with it, or knows someone who can. I nearly forgot to ask her to put some Phorpain Gel on my back. I only just remembered in time; she was just leaving after checking the taps and stove for me and picking up the waste bag.

Cloudy today, up to now.
I did some pareidoliaing with this one.
Can you spot anything?
Of course, I get help finding things from , and . Haha!

I went back onto the computer, working away, making mistakes, cursing myself and spotted blood coming from the left thumbnail. I was confused a first, but remembered cutting the fingernails yesterday. That’ll be why.

Seconds late, found a newish mark on the right knuckle?
I assume this was done while cleaning in the narrow space twixt the floor cupboards and the cooker.

I’d better get some vegetables ready to add to the veg casserole or whatever it’s called I intend to eat for my tea.

Back in a bit… I hope!

Late Friday AM: Catch-Up
Dark but Bootiful clouds.

Meal prepped and served up…
It filled the big dish.
The leftover borscht was added to a ready-made vegetable Stock-Pot…, no Hot Pot meal. Extra seasoning; Winiary Przyprawa and liquid salt, with a splash of BBQ sauce.
Put some frozen potato chunks, sprayed them with olive oil in the oven, and cooked them well.
Flavour-Rating: 7.2/10.

Took this shot as I was washing up the pots etc.

Got into the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner, and put the TV on to watch ‘Heartbeat’.
The blueness of the outside came through the thin, torn, tatty curtains. I got the camera and investigate…
An unnatural shade tonight.
Bootiful all the same!

Zzz!
Eventually!
Thought Storms Again!

Inchie: Thursday 18th May 2023

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To be perfectly fair to plainly and obviously agraphia-suffering Poetaster Inchie’s barely readable, distinctly… nay, regularly failed efforts, they are hogwash. Often depraved, pathetic and or bafflingly banal. He can’t blame Dementia Doreen his earlier stuff was crap, too! I think he claims it is his ageing-humour – perhaps!
But today… It’s such a load of rubbish!.
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on the top graphic incorrectly on purpose to test you.
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At this time, 17:00hrs today, I am just starting this writing.
I’ll just mention that the up to now, have been much better. After Wednesday’s performance with them, I was genuinely worried. And now cheerfuller! Please don’t miss the piece on “How I had a ‘Pee’ in my Dressing Gown Pocket”
I Fank You!

I stirred at 04:40hrs (thinking it must be time for the 08:00 Carer to call anytime now) and got the night punch removed from . I often struggle to do this. But it went well this Thursday morning… Always a worry, that is; something going right for me. It’s so unnatural, aberrant and nervous-making! As I hauled my overweight-bellied body from the £300, second-hand shop bought nine years ago, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner, the need for the arose. Realising how early it was, I decided to get the wash and shavings done after the ‘passing’.

The visit to the wetroom held more interest than usual:
was in full control. I sat sitting there trying to see to read the crossword clues (Wrong glasses on).
It seemed ages before the led-based torpedo was freed.. with more of a thud than a splash. No mess to clean up this time, at least! I whipped off the dressing gown and protection pants. Then wearing only , I went to get my teeth cleaned. But the new toothbrush had done what the old one did and disappeared! I was not too bothered because was playing up. So, I started to get shaved… This was interesting: The task went speedily or seemed to. Ten minutes and six cuts later, I’d got the job done.
This time it was the shaving foam I dropped as I was putting it away. How does everything I seem to drop bounce around and end up behind the WC bowl, hard to see and get at, to retrieve?
As I got the small picker-upperer and bent to get the can,,,
acci-whoop I point in the photo above to the area of the sink that I clouted my forehead against!.
I started sink-washing. Head down. When I got to the delicate area, I took extra care not to catch the tube inserted into Little Inchie… but I did. Hence, the started.
.
Was dried off with paper towelling.
The feet, yet again, looked okay, not as swollen.
Then olive-oiled the ears. Germoloided the rear-end
Savloned the area under the hanging stomach.
Tried to Phorpain Gel . But Biot was not worth the pain of trying to get to her, so left it; I’ll ask a Carer.

As I came out and got the fresh dressing gown on, the . The Asda order had arrived.
Dragged the bags and boxes into the kitchenette.
Immediately complained!
At least they had some cheapo cheesy curls and
Caramelised Cookies are in stock this week.
Already in pain, I then had to tackle the water fetching!

I went to the front room and got the buckets that I’d left in there,
Why I did, I don’t know?

Noticed some dabbled spots on the leg?
Arrived. Did the medications, and he applied some Phorpain on for me
Later in the day, , then did the same for me. Been a smidge easier since.
Took photos from the kitchen window.
Then the sky…
A bit glum; it was all day.

Blogging all day.
At noon, a delivery of night bags arrived. ordered them last week for me. Bless her Cotton Socks! Great help, that was!

Blogging, on and on…Mistake-ridden, of course.

Left & right lower legs have new papules & spots!

Grafting away at the blog, starting the Ode, and the knee itched. So, I had a decker at it
Oh, dearie me! Dabbed some aftershave on it…
ARGH!
That stopped it right enough! Hehe!
Cleaned it up, no pain with it.
Just little bloblets appearing.
Gave up on the computer.

“How I Had a ‘Pee’ in My Dressing Gown Pocket”
I got the Borscht soup left over from yesterday (made too much!) and added it to a can of chunky vegetable soup, adding more shredded beetroot, liquid salt and no-meat Oxo cubes.
Opened a can of the cheapo peas, and tipped the contents into the strainer, leaving it to drain before also adding these to the saucepan. (Think I overdid it again tonight?). Got some potato chunks in the oven, and went back to watch the ‘Heartbeat programme. When the first set of commercials came on, I went off to get the peas into the saucepan…

acci-whoop & combined simultaneously on the right arm, and I knocked the peas and colander into the sink. Which:
❶ Fell in the bleach and citric acid-filled bowl…
❷ Peas fell out into the sink, floor & shot all over…
❸ I managed to save some peas before they hit the water…
❹ Which splashed over onto the floor to join some of the peas.
❺ The dressing gown, & my feet were splattered.
❻ I clouted my elbow on the counter as rushed about cleaning.
❼ Got a handful of peas in the pan.
❽ Set off, bending down to clear up.

Stirred the soup, checked on the potatoes in the oven; they needed a good few minutes more and went back to the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, to find that ‘Heartbeat was finished. Tsk!
Sneezed, and delved into the dressing gown pocket and found…

❾ One of the peas must have found its way into the pocket during the fiasco in the kitchen? Hahaha! Don’t know why I’m laughing. Off to get the meal made up at last.

Not too bad at all! – Taste-Rating: 7/10.
Went to get the pots washed, taking this shot of the sky
Eerie? But Pareidoliaiable all the same.
As I turned from the window…
I was so annoyed at myself! I’d left the hot tap running, and it was now cold water! Could have used the kettle and saucepan for hot water to wash the pots, but felt so depressed I didn’t.

I went back to the main room and restarted the computer. An Email that set my blood boiling had arrived, and at that moment started giving me some vicious stick. And he has not been a bother for months now, but he was back. He was probably giving , , , and support, in their combined effort to see me off. Not to mention,
, and the others.
The email was from…
I cannot cope with all this.
I need help!.
As with the banking problem.
As with the order on-line problems.
As with hearing & vision problems.
AS WITH .
But I’ve got none.
I am now at a new low ebb!

A resignation, a realisation that things are only going to get worse, brought a sort of ‘Sod-it-ness’ into my mind.
After an initial , I descried the futility of living. Doreen will eventually take full control.
I cannot allow that. No, I will not!

But help is not forthcoming, not even an understanding of my inabilities, patheticness, worries; nor fears.

Nice night shots. about an hour between them.

TTFN