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Late, late getting to bed. about 6 hours, so it wasn’t too bad, it was just the waking up early got to me. Even worse was trying to force myself out of bed!
I seemed be having a mental battle with myself and my Alto Inchy. I knew I needed to get up early, despite the reason having drifted off into the ether. It may not have been Alto Inchy I was battling verbally with. It may have been Morbid Cogniscence Impairment Iris.
I kept telling her or him to sod-off and let me get up. Or, as we say it in Nottingham slang, gerrup.
I won in the end, but it was hard work. As I fumbled my way out of the hospital bed, a long-lasting escapade of wind from the rear end, which I, for once, diagnosed correctly, forewarned me that
 would be in control of the upcoming evacuation process. And expected it to be a hard job again. It was. I was still sitting there on the Porcelain Throne twenty minutes later when Carer Ejaz arrived. As he passed the wetroom door, I shouted through the partly opened door that I was sorry, but I’m trying to get rid of a rear-end torpedo, and the damned thing is stuck part of the way out. I didn’t get a reply. This made me think it might have been a Nurse coming in, not Ejaz. There was no rushing things along at all. Just too painful. So, I broke off the lump sticking out, cleaned myself and went into the front room. It was Ejaz.
I felt there was no risk of any unexpected restarting of any movement while I was being tended to.
Ejaz issued the medications. Then he took off the socks and creamed the toes and ankles. 
IK am now out of notes on the memory pad. So, have nothing to refer to, no memory prompt. I’d love to know why. I’m certain that last night I started a second page; I’d made so many notes. I searched through the pad, but found no more for Thursday.
Bafflement blends in so easily with me lately.
I’ll have to rely on my memory, oh, dearie me.
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I think Ejaz also Phorpain-gelled the right shoulder   and the lower back . And colour-coded the urine pouch.

Morning rainy views.

The intercom rang, but it cut out quickly before I could press the open-door button. I went down and found that it was the Amazon man with the Asian biscuits.
I went down in the lift to let him in. He was getting in the lift as I was getting out, so I stayed in and went back up to my floor. I took the parcel off of him and went to get out of the lift…
Not sure how I managed it, butk the door closed to and I trapped my arm in it. Hey-Ho!

Sorry, not much on here, but my short-term memory is getting worse. Disappearing notes do not help.

Teatime, I went out to get the kettle and to marinate the food. 
The first effort turned out artistically. Tsk!
Made a better job on the second.

While it was cooking, I was back on the computer.

It all came to a halt. Gawd knows how long, or even if I can get it going again. I resigned from computing and got the meal served up.
Beef curry with Teryaki sauce and water chestnuts added. The curry was from a can, but it was okay. I thought that the Teriyaki sauce went well with it.
Dunking the bread in the liquid and eating ot with the Sourdough soft bread was so enjoyable.
Slurp!

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Today was so different. Oh, did I mention the nurse coming to see me? Nice gal. All clear on the head and elbow wounds.
I still haven’t remembered to ask a Carer to help me with filling in the NCC questionnaire! Not that they would have time, mind you.
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This is the 3rd day my memory notes have gone AWOL!
I’m thinking I may be getting… I’ve forgotten the word now… Erm? I had it the second I was going to type it… But it ran away. They do that a lot nowadays. I’m waffling on in hope it comes back to me… Oh… when you think someone is trying to make things worse, get at you, tease you? I hope that when I get this posted, it comes back to me. I think I thought, I’ll add that to my word list as well.
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This is unbelievable in the extreme…
I got an email telling me my Asda order is coming on Friday between 2030 & 2130hrs. When the heck did I make that one? And for so late? But the contents are all stuff I buy regularly… I can’t prevent myself from feeling so low. Guilty, embarrassed, self-harrassed, and annoyed at myself. The help with this issue never arrived. The neurologist said they would get me help… or was it Age UK… maybe Social Services.
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This week has seen me feeling more and more depressed. I checked on the Asda site, and there was a massive order for the day & time as in the email.
At first, I considered doing an Ode about this, but soon realised it would do me no good. So, I won’t.
Or will I? No. No… I can’t forget these things despite my warped memory. Even the blog is taking far too long, and lack of a sleep pattern is not good. My Angel pointed this out to me. I don’t think I could cope without Jenny’s good nature and understanding.
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Cheerie Bye
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I really don’t believe it!
Impossible, but true!
“I’m Not Complaining – just telling”
Today was busier than yesterday!
More cock-ups. More Confusion!
More Stress! More Pain!
Physically and Mentally!
So busy, and frustrating!

After yesterday’s mayhem and staying up for over 19hrs, I beat that today, with 22hrs.
It all started as I forced myself to wake up at 07:00hrs. Got the nocturnal Catheter bag off in haste, and stumbled my way to the wet room. This was not a good thing. I should have given myself time to catch my balance, but I didn’t. I can only blame myself.
I got a wobble in the hallway, grabbed the clothes airer to steady myself, and pulled at the Catheter as I caught it between the pipes. At the time, there was barely if any real pain, and I belatedly stopped to get my balance, and entered the room, and got my pants down, ready to sit down on thePorcelain Throne. The ecrement, in the form of a gigantic fat torpedo, started its escape straight away, but froze with a few inches of it outside. 
I applied as much pressure as I could. Possibly the biggest and hardest torpedo release of the year. Well, at least there’s no gooey mess to clean up for a change, I thought to myself. Then, putting the Germoloid cream on, I spotted a lot of blood on the tissue. Ah, that will be Haemorrhoid Harold suffering. Wiped it of, got the cream on and pulled up my protection pants.
Wahed got up and returned to the bed to get the pouch for emptying. Drained it into the Throne, as I turned to leave, I saw spots of blood on the floor where I’d been standing. Checked the rear end, only a tiny streak of blood… where had it come from? It baffled me.
I carried on into the kitchen and thought about putting the kettle on.
Carer Ejaz arrived. He Phorpain gelled the shoulder and back for me. Medications issued. We managed a mini-chinwag. I told him of the earlier bleeding.

As he left, I got the computer on. A little pain from Little Inchy started. I lifted my Kagoule to tighten the straps on the Catheter. The protection pants were more red than white. Back to the wet room to check things out. I thought it was, or must be, from the fungal lesion. A good clean-up, some Savlon on Little Inchy, changed the pants, and went back to the computer. Determined to get at least some of Tuesday’s blog started. The intercom flashed and sounded.
It was my Ocado order being delivered.
Blimey, I’d ordered a lot!
I took the many bags through to the kitchen. As I was about to start sorting out the food, I spotted droplets of blood on the floor! Back to the wetroom, and cleaned it up again. This time, as I cleaned things up, the pain from Little Inchy was more bothersome. I had a feel but the bleeding had almost stopped now. So, a wash and back to the kitchen. Got some good stuff in today.Cooking sauces, sourdough bread, coffees for the nurses, etc. No-butter, butter, Kenyan garden peas, Jaffa cakes, one for me, one for Jenny. and some daffodils. For Jenny🤎 of course, not for me. I’ll see if I can get them down to her later on. Just finished putting the stuff away, I got back on the computer…
The window cleaner arrived. He did a good, thorough job of cleaning the balcony windows for me. Paid him. Back to the computer.
Started working on CorelDraw, and the screen went dark. I grabbed the camera to record it – see photo on the left. ,
The door chime chimed. And in walked Matron. She asked some questions, but I really can’t remember what they were about. As she was getting ready to leave, she asked if anything was worrying me, and I mentioned the bleeding from Little Inchy. Embarrassment Time!
She investigated and said something I didn’t catch as we bade each other farewell. 

Back to the computer. Not for long, and the dark screen still showed. The mobile burst into life. It was someone from the Riverside Diabetic Clinic. Wondering why I had not gone to my appointment on Monday. No way could I remember making or getting an appointment with them. He’ll make a new one. I asked if I could be informed via email, please cause I have Premorbid Cogniscence Impairment. He said, “No problem. I thought that if he sent a letter, it might still be in the pile of unopened letters that I have.

Back again to the computer.
I wondered if I’d ever get rid of it, and what caused the dark screen to come on. As I was musing over this, and will I get it off and ever get the blog-catching-up started, let alone finished. And I don’t think I touched any keys, but the screen with CorelDraw on it reappeared. I was overjoyed, something good had happened… Then in walked two nurses! Attractive young things. They had come to check out my bleeding Little Inchy! Embarrassment time once more! I did what I did yesterday, since they were different nurses, and quipped that you might need these as I handed my glasses to the younger trainee nurse. Adding, you may need these to find it. Hahaha! It got a smile, if not a laugh. After inspecting the area, they cleaned it up. One said I also had a tiny cut on the penis. Probably caused by a tug on the tube and or during insertion. Well, she got that spot on. I must have happened when I had the Accifauxpas in the hallway. Then they moved the pouch from my left to my right leg. They took a look under the head wound plaster, all good.
They bade farewell, saying they would call again on Friday to check things. 

Back to the Computer… Tsk!
The man from the NCC, I think, arrived. So many things, questions I could not answer. These concerned my pensions and banking. He went through the files lying around, then had a quick look in the cases to find the details he needed. I know, well, I think I know they are in there somewhere. He rang the bank. They will send details, and I am to ring him when I get them. No idea what his number is. He rang someone else, the original pension company, I think, but not sure what the result was. Must have been a failure. He did his best. He said he would call next Friday.

Back to the Computer… Tsk! Tsk!
Then it got complicated…
Carer Manpreet arrived; she was doing the domestic role. She started. This might be out of order or sequence. I think she cleaned the microwave and cooker first. Then she took the washing down for me. Complications: Manpreet returned, telling me there are no washers available. Then mopped the kitchen floor. Went down to move the things into the dryer, but no dryers were available. Asked for the key fob so she could use the Winwood laundry. But ran out of time to fetch the dried laundry back. Said to ask the teatime carer to fetch it up. Again, no laundry was done fully. For six weeks now, it hasn’t been completed. No blame on previous Carers, they have to escort me on medical visits. Wednesdays are the only days I get an extended visit. Not enough time to do things. Then Carere Ejaz arrived to do a medicine-only call. I was getting rather more than just confused.

Back to the Computer… Tsk! 
Another different Carer arrived to do the teatime call. When I asked her to fetch the washing up, she insisted she didn’t have time. Fair enough, it’s how it is.
I said I’d call Jenny. I hated doing it and bothering her, but she is a genius at getting me sorted out and giving good, honest advice. The Carer said she’s do it, but needed the key fob. It was good of her to change her mind. She returned with the bag of clothes, creased and crammed into the laundry bag, and left it in the hallway where most of them will be hung.
She had to shoot off, bless her. 

I unpacked the clothes, straightened them as best I could, and hung up the long shirts and dressing gowns, then sorted the socks into pairs, a difficult job as they are diabetic socks that, for some reason, have L’s left and R’s Right and need sorting. The eyes were doing their usual evening-time blurring. I was tired, so tired and depressed with going so long without the help that I needed. I’ve not had a shower for months.
Jenny emailed me with sound advice. We spoke on the phone, and she offered to fetch the laundry back for me if the Carer rings her before going down to the laundry room. I felt guilty again. Bless her🤎. 

Back to the Computer… Tsk! Tsk!

The intercom sounded; it was Amazon delivering yet another computer keyboard and a mouse. This one had the keys marked incorrectly, too! All a part of mystery from Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Dank Depressing Darius, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Cataract Katie, Lymphorrhoea Leslie, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley, Grim Reaper Pete, Diabetic Derek, & Memory Mangling Malcolm. Along with Whoopsiedangleplops, Fata Morgana, hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae,   that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, and supreme example of oligarchs, Amazon.

I made a start on this blog at 02:20hrs!

I made the nosh and left it to marinate. Sweet & sour chicken ready meal. With added water chestnuts, red chillis, and Tiryaki & Gung Po sauce. Hope to get to eat it by 05:00hrs. See how fast I can type.

I took these snaps of these dark, dank, oddly-coloured Kodak-Tim-2 photographs of the night sky.

Ended up getting my head down at 05:00hrs.
Woken about 0715hrs by the arrival of Carer Ejaz

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Fings ain’t wot they used to be,
When I was younger and pain-free,
I’ve lost logicality, gained inadquecy,
Working my way into docility…
Depression in abundancy,
So many are worse off than Inchie,
I’m deaf, bad-sighted, & pilarlicky,
Thanks to all who’ve helped me🤎,
Helped me keep some dignity!
TTFNski!
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Today was yet another mind-floating, uncertain, confusing day. In which my mind took more detours, made more mistakes, deviations, took repeated vacations, miscalculations, while finding time to worry about so many things that are all in abbeyanbce. 
The computer is being sorted by Asif. Full of uncertainties. And the Oligarchs: Virgin Media’s memorable name. British Gas, the promised engineer to get a meter reading, is not showing up – I’ve been trying to sort this one out for years since they last had a reading. The NCC man is coming today to check on all my financial situations, so he can pass or say nae to the Carer’s extra hours appeal. The nurse is coming to look at the top of my head cuts, only a few of them. She may also change or fit a new . It feels like it is about time for it to be done. But then again, what do I know? Very little with any certainty. A lot of self-doubt and ever-present suspicions that what I am doing might be wrong. Hehe! 

I’m going to use photos as a prompt. Why?
The reminders on the notepad seemed to have gone off into the ether… Again!
Got up late, took these

Later from the balcony

End car park.

Getting used to the warped keyboard now.

The sun is on its way down.

Almost gone, nightie-night!

Eerie-looking end of the car park.

The sky is now blue.
Beautiful distant shot.

Front car park.

There is a reason that today’s meal looks sort of radioactive tonight, well, a few.
: Refused to let me read the instructions on the ready meal packet. Spy-Glass-Gloria didn’t help either.
MY BEST GUESS at deciphering the cooking time was 8 minutes. Too late to help, but Carer Ejaz later checked, and it was 3 minutes, not 8. I put too much Leicester cheese on top of the pie.
I also used the wrong Tiryaki sauce. The one I used was for marinating.
The pie blew up in the microwave. But the mess did not get through the cheese; there was far too much of that on top. The burnt bits blended in with the gravy, potatoes, and cheese. It was not too hard on , as long as I moved each spoonful to the left of my mouth to chew, and it took some chewing, too!
However, I enjoyed it!

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ARRIVADERCI
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And I thought the last two days were busy!
Today was busier than both!
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At least I can read the memory pad notes easier, cause I’m doing this in the morning. (Tuesday morning) The eyes have not begun to blur badly. They will later.

Not knowing what was to come, I started the day with the help of a visitation. The first hour or so was…well, fantastic!
Catheter Pouch off. Bins sorted. Ablutions were tended to. It was in charge this time. But the pain and effort needed didn’t bother me at all, not with in attendance. While I was almost playfully fighting to get the torpedo to flow, I remembered the Cancer-phoo-test-kit. So I stopped before the torpedo appeared to fetch the kit.
I tried to force the submarine out again. Again, it didn’t bother me, with Horis on site. All went well, and I got it done, bagged and in the envelope and sealed. Just as the intercom burst into life, Carer Ejaz rang to be admitted. And as I left the wetroom after checking it for taps running, I met him in the mini-hallway.
Ejaz checked the sample and took it with him to post it for me. Dealt out the medications. Phorpain gelled my shoulder, & lower back and . Which also helped with Arthur Itis, and’s pains eased a little. I thanked him, and off he went, throwing me a ‘Tara’ as he left.

Then things went a little out of sync, and things got busier, much busier. In fact, scarpered post-haste, and at the same time
Although the git stayed with me for the rest of the day. I had so many other things to sort or try to, as you will see, the cacophony of cruel interruptions had an inexhaustibility never known before. My blogging efforts were abandoned. They flowed in one after another, unintermittedly, back-to-back, incessantly… But I’m Not Complaining! Just mentioning.

ONE: 25 minutes; (Welcomed) My sweetheart nurse arrived to check the state of my top-of-the-head wound. Replaced the dressing and said it could come off next week. Not the head, the plaster padding. Hehe! She also checked Little Inchie’s bleeding lesion; now that the Catheter has been relocated back to the left leg. At this point, from somewhere, by humour came forth as she was about to take down my fluffy protection pants, I quipped: Well, if you’re going to wash or medicate it, first you’ve got to find it…’ adding quickly, ‘Would you like to use my glasses or my spy glass?‘ I loved it when she burst of with a smile followed by a giggle. Hope she passes that one on to the other nurses. Haha!

TWO: 7 minutes; (Welcomed tentatively)
The agency INR Warfarin gal arrived, took the blood samples within 7 minutes, and left.
A Speedy Gonzalesess?

THREE: 7 minutes; Jenny 🤎 emailed about the Computer man. Always helpful that gal. 🤎

FOUR: 10 minutes; Ejaz made a call.

FIVE: 12 minutes; Someone from the Doctor’s surgery telephoned me on the landline. Saying I ought to ask a Carer to help me buy a head shaver, to avoid all the bangs and cuts I keep getting on my bonce.

SIX: 9 minutes; Someone else rang from the Doctor’s surgery, with the results of the INR Warfarin blood test and new dosages. Easy-peasy, 1½ each day.

SEVEN: 2hrs and a bit: It was a landline call from someone other than the person who rang earlier. We lost connection a few times, but the lady was patient each time and rang back. Bless her. I didn’t make a note of who it was, but gathered that the surgery is setting up a geriatrics panel to monitor old foggies like me, and see if anything can be done to assist us. She asked if I had any difficulties. 
Well, of I went, verbally, about the problems and things I can’t cope with. On and on I rambled. I didn’t want to miss the chance to let them know how I am struggling. Extra Carers’ hours and why. The laundry is not getting done, and I have had to bring it back up for three weeks now. Explaining that it is not the Carers’ fault. With so many hospital and clinic visits they have to go with me on, there’s no time left for laundry or cleaning. I mentioned my walking into the road having a seizure when we went to the Dentist. I got a little tongue-tied trying to recall what I wanted to say to give a proper picture of how I’m struggling. At times, I had to cope as  
The lady was kind and bore with my situation.🤎 
I told her of my seizure at the ENT. Also, of my escapade getting back from the Neurologist’s visit. Falling over in the tram, yobboes aggression in the slab square. I got the wrong bus and had to walk all the way back up Winchester Street Hill, stopping at least ten times to ease the pain in my chest. Dropping my mobile when the Carer at the flat was waiting for me to return. A stranger who helped me find the bus. Verbals from yobboes as they drove past. I assume I must have mentioned other things as well. Oh, yes, I think I mentioned that, although it has not been diagnosed, I do not need anyone to do that, I have developed Arithmaphobia. This is causing me financial problems. And most important to me is that it is handicapping me from doing my blog, which was just about the only thing keeping me going.
6 months ago, it took me an hour to do the template; now, we are talking 3 hours minimum. Depression is a result. Seizures in a day can range from 0 to 12. The shorter ones are taking so much longer to recover from. And recovering can take so long, during which I dare not stand up. I just wait until the vision and confusion go away. Then gingerly test out the balance; often, well, usually, I can judge it accurately. This brought to mind the time I woke up after having a nocturnal seizure and decided to stay where I was to give myself time to recuperate. But this happened during a time when Trotsky Terence was in control of the back passage and innards. I felt the gurgling and pressure on my rear end and got up quickly to the Porcekain Throne to avoid the often-occurring premature leakage. As I stood up, I collapsed as if I didn’t have any legs, landing on a waste bin, then down onto the floor with a thud. Pressed the alarm wristlet, Warden arrived, and paramedics were summoned. Off to the hospital, eight bones in the hand and wrist, five in the left knee. Heart failure 3 weeks later, while still in the hospital.
Also, a fear of opening letters, and I  have a mini-stack of them at my side now. I’m waiting for a Social Worker to call, and then I can show them. 

Ah, a breather… Erm, No…

EIGHT: 16 minutes:
Blooming ‘eck, hello-hello & Crikes!
Message from the Bank Manager!
Wanting me to arrange a visit, and take a Carer with me, as I did on the last one. No cause or reason given. Just said it was ‘Important & Urgent’. I tried to find out what it was for, but he was tight-lipped.
I’m Worried Now.

Finally, around 23:00hrs, I got something to eat.I dropped the tray in the kitchen!
Did I cry? No!
But I swore & cursed a bit!
Made do with some crispy nibbles.
I couldn’t eat biscuits cause of
Tired, weary, confused, worried,
The eyesight was fading fast.
Clambered gingerly into the bed.
Had to get up again to check if
I’d left the taps or the cooker on!
Then
kicked off. I realised that I’d not
put the night bag on when I felt the
flow-back pain. Got out of bed.
Grabbed the night pouch and
did some more swearing as I
got it fitted. All the time,
was
reminding me of past and 
present worries. Huh!
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TTFNski, Cheers!
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I was unquestionably out-of-it, more than with it, this stuttering, confused, mind-bending Saturday.
A mind-bending Saturday? Why? 
I’ll try to recall things, but many will be missed, hopefully. Cause they are bound to involve failings, Seizures, daydreaming, going off-track, and various minor calamities with the Catheter (again!), glaucoma and cataract problems, and other bits of depression,  moaning and self-pity. Which will not be missed or of interest. It is now Sunday morning at… no! Sunday afternoon just gone, 13:30hrs, and I’ve only just started this blog. I do not want to moan. 
No doubt the serious bits may get a mention, Ahem!
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I stirred back into pretend life at 07:20hrs. Jumped out of the bed and did a double back-flip, while yodelling and picking my nose, landing on one foot and started shadow boxing… Haha!
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Grumpliy, noticing that during the 5 hours of unbroken sleep I’d enjoyed, the Catheter had only amassed about an egg cupful of urine from the bladder. More problems to cope with, but I’m just saying, not moaning.
The following four lines on the memory pad were unreadable, but it was probably miserable stuff, moaning again, so not to worry.
It was more painful than usual. Maybe she’d been giving me some hassle while I was sleeping, and that was why she was more stinging than usual? I’m not moaning! I then sorted the three waste bins into one refuse sack and bound it. And took a couple of snaps of the glum morning view of the skies, with little puffy clouds on the horizon.

Carer Ejaz arrived, I greeted him, and we had a careful, slow dance. I’m not joking. We are both bonkers, maybe. And Ejaz took it steady, ’cause he knows how painful my shoulder’s been lately. Ejaz called the District Nurses again about the Catheter. He is fasting on his second day until evening; then I can offer him some nibbles of his choice and an iced coffee later. Ejaz issued the morning medications, tablets, and medicine. Then got some Phorpain Gel on my right shoulder. Checked the scuff marks underneath the Catheter straps, and applied some of the acne & eczema cream on them.
Also, put some under the massive, seal-like but wobbly belly fold that I’ve gained since not being able to get out much. Well, at all without a Carer.
But, I’m not moaning, just saying!
Ejaz then checked if I’d done my teggies, olive-oiled my earholes, and used the Anusol or Germoloid creams on Harold’s Haemorrhoids yet. I had probably written four lines of undecipherable bad writing on the notepad. Oh yes, I’d also undergone a visit tothe Porcelain Throne.
I’d have thought I’d remember that without being prompted. I can now.
It was a right gooey, sticky affair. But at least it was back to a brown shade.

Started the Friday blog well late in the day. I went to make a brew of Glengettie, which I’m sure of doing. Not sure if I actually made one. Why? The haziness dawned. I started on the computer and found myself doing CorelDrawing and Painting, in between other things. I got myself in a right pickle, and forgot all about this blog needing to be done. Hours later, it dawned on me, at the same time Darius dawned. Nothing had changed from when I was mindlessly, but contentedly making mistakes in CorelDraw, doing things that didn’t need doing until Sunday… I think.
Then, I lost interest in doing anything, and… this is true. I woke up in bed hours later. I can’t even recall getting into bed, and it is a painful job for me to do, and I still can’t remember doing it. I was all over the place, mind-wise, for a while as I lay there trying to figure of why I was in bed.
Getting out-of-it is another struggle. I resisted at first, then realised the Nurse may be calling, and feared she may have been while I was in the land of nod and would not hear the doorchime. Unsure, I got up, painfully, grabbed ,
and went to the front door to see if any notes had been put through the letterbox. A Royal Mail envelope lay on the floor; it was from HMG, and I left it there. I’d not taken with me.

I got back on the computer and, instead of starting the blog, I went on Amazon and placed an order! I found this reminder on Sunday afternoon, when I saw an email telling me I’d ordered some stuff. I investigated : what the heck had I ordered now? I went to the Amazon site.
Paper table-bowls? What? I’ve got dozens of them in the kitchen cupboard. I need help.
Bombay potatoes; Well, that’s okay, I’m down to my last packet.
5litres of bleach? I am aware that bleach nowadays is weaker. I know this because when I pour some washing-up liquid & bleach into the mug or mugs to soak them, they used to come out sparkling clean. Now, it takes half a bottle for it to be effective. But what made me think this was going to work? And per litre, it’s twice the cost of the ones I was using? Dad used to call me doollaly (Not in possession of all one’s mental faculties), and now I am doollaly!

Then, wandering off topic again, I put the clothes that weren’t yet properly dried in the wetroom, leaving the bank-balance-buggering immersion heater on to get them dried. Hanging on the shower rail. I used the long picker upperer to get them up. Being in the wet room reminded me of something… I still had not completed the Phoo test kit for returning to the Bowel Cancer Programme at the Queen’s Medical Centre Hospital. Fancy me forgetting something!

The day was almost gone, and after Ejaz departed after his teatime call, I got the meal prepared. All soft and edible with anyone like me, short of teeth, with those remaining chipped, cracked, loose, painful, and no doubt missing their fallen-out or pulled-out neighbours.
Instant potatoes made with no-butter butter, sea salt, and red Leicester cheese, in the bowl, bashed and mashed together. I added Teriyaki sauce on top.  
To leave it a while so the sauce seeps down into the spuds.
I closed the computer down while crying and cursing myself for not being with it enough to realise I hadn’t started the blog yet. Ran a scan check and went to put the spuds in the microwave. Then got some bread, pickled green tomatoes, and red peppers (I had to ask Ejaz to open the jar for me earlier). Looked and smelled so good. Added the last of the sausages and microwaved the pots & hostages. No, Sausages. Sorry, Herr Keir Starmer. Hahaha!

A last snap of the amazing, most baffling, out of touch, disoriented, out-of-the-loop, abstracted, inattentive, sidetracked, absent-minded Saturday of this year. The sky in this photo turned out a smidge brown?
I’m not moaning, just saying!

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TTFN

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Nottingham Victoria railway station, a grand 12-platform terminal opened in 1900, was demolished between 1967 and 1968, shortly after closing on September 4, 1966.
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06:45: I forced my body to wake and took off the nocturnal Catheter pouch. NEXT! Then I needed the Porcelain  Throne. Messy again, very messy, phooey.

Carer Ejaz arrived as I was sorting the waste bins. He issued the medications and fitted a new day Catheter. 
A few scars on the right leg were treated with cream. A few knew welts had appeared since yesterday.
The top strap seemed to be trapping the tube from the bladder & Little Inchie. No urine was flowing through the tube to the bag. I couldn’t see any urine in the penis-to-bag tube either. This caused me concern throughout the day. The pain increased slowly in Little Inchie. I couldn’t remember (How many times have I used this statement? Hehe!) how the top strap fitted near the flow pipe. But it didn’t seem trapped; only a little urine was passed throughout the day. The uncomfortable bladder flow-back pains persisted.
We decided to see how it goes; sometimes this happens, and a relief-giving flow starts after a while. Ejaz said he’ll call the Nurse if it hasn’t improved by morning. At this stage, my EQ communicated, basically saying, “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” He was right!

NEXT! When I opened CorelDraw, selected a graphic, and the bottom-right icons, which usually, well, have always shown Fill RGB and outline RGB, were now showing Mesh Fill with no colour code? What happened? Have I done something wrong again? I suspect I have, but what? During the day, I searched and searched for the problem on Google.It took me an hour on my first try to understand the question, but the solutions did not work. This might have been due to my not fully understanding them, since it involved going into settings I had earlier left alone because they were so confusing. Many of the instructions I followed to the letter, to find whatever I was supposed to click to get through the maze of options, would not appear there. I asked a Carer to look at the settings page to ensure it wasn’t me, and they weren’t there in plain sight; sight being my main problem. I had four goes at sorting this, getting more different advice from Google. I searched but could not find a Colour Styles option tag anywhere, just a confusing, not recognised styles tag. Which was probably my fault, cause bt then it was 2100hrs, and the eyes were fading fast. Then, I found a tip on cancelling Styles, and nervously, unsure if it was the right or wrong thing to do, after just 14 clicks to another section or part, I pressed the remove button for all the options. It didn’t work, I gave up and started this blog. At 0100hrs, I tried again, and the deleted (I thought) Saved Styles were all still there. I selected each one in turn and pressed remove. I gave out a loud  Dada! Restarted, and the bloody Mesh Fill was still on.

I suppose these things are just a natural part of the mysteries of old age, Dementia, & Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic Ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Depressing Darius, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus’ Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhea Leslie, Premordid Cognitive Impairment Inchie, the damned seizures, or the Fata Morganas that has been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. Sandra’s Seizures, Memory-Mangling-Mavis, Toothache-Tiffany, Carol’s Catheter Contraption, Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, Earache Erasmus, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Cataract Katie, Whoopsiedangleplops, Fractured Knee Frank, And Mechanical-Aorta-Valve-Victor. A wide variety of ailments, you’ll agree?

Carer Mizra arrived, and the advice to me by Jenny, for Carers about the washing machines, I’d forgotten.
So I asked Mirza to take the call, I think. Use the number two machine, put it in delicates mode, and the wash is done quicker. And he went down to put the washing in the machine as he left.

NEXT! I was struggling with the CorelDraw problem for 40 minutes, then put the computer in Sleep Mode, made a brew of tea, drank it, and then went down to move the washing from the washer to the dryer. The snag I found with the delicate mode was that the clothes felt wetter than usual as they went into the dryer. Back up to my cell… no, flat, and carried on getting nowhere with the CorelDraw problem for 40 frustrating minutes, getting nothing else done, blog not yet started. (Didn’t get around to it until late Saturday.)
Frustrating to say the least. Grumph!
NEXT! The clothes were not completely dry; many of them weren’t. So I got them in the bag, dropping several items again, which did the lower back and Dizzies no good. Then back up again to the apartment. Got in, and another Vyne Catheter delivery arrived, with just one giant tub of button-press Cetraben.

NEXT! Then, I tackled the problem of the still-damp washing I’d collected. I took an extra Codeine 30g first to ease the pain of the physical efforts exerted. Then, the four dressing gowns and two Kagoules needed drying enough to wear one. I hung them up on the shower rail in the wet room, with the expensive convector wall heater turned on, two at a time, swapping them for two more twice over the day. No wonder I didn’t know what I was doing, so many things started at the same time, I got confused, and had here with me all day, into the morning. 

NEXT! Then, the ten-minute max £35 charging toenail cutter arrived. Lovely gal, but annoying to my bank manager. Haha! I managed to get the feet washed; a bit of a job using the picker-upperer to dry the feet with paper-towelling before she came, and she put fresh socks on for me after snipping the nails – bloodlessly, too. She also put on athlete’s foot powder.

NEXT! The district nurse arrived. Tended to the leg wound, still okay. And photographed and put a plaster on my head wound for me. 🤎

NEXT! Jenny had read my blog, where I said it can be difficult to get a lift with Easy Link, as we have to have the right amount and pay in cash each time. Frank came to the flat and swapped £20 of coins for a twenty-pound note. That was so kind of them. 🤎

NEXT! Another two HMG envelopes arrived in the post today, which reminded me I still have to complete the faeces diagnosis kit.

NEXT! Still not having solved the CorelDraw mesh problem, I pressed on at long last and decided to use CorelPaint to complete a graphic I’d started. 
I still have not started this blog! But first, I needed a break, so I went out onto the balcony for a view of the scenery… which backfired on me, in the mental state I was in with all the hassles coming together or close to each other; I saw the collection of unused wheelchairs and walkers on the balcony! Two walkers and three, I say three bloody wheelchairs I’d bought! I’d forgotten all about them. Something else that, another job that got lost in the ether of depression, frustration, and impossibleness of abiogenesis and the endogenousness of life.
The Red Cross was going to send someone to check for safety and help fit the footplate platforms on the last one I bought. That was a self-propelled one.
The second one I bought from Amazon was displayed as a self-propelled one with large wheels. It came with tiny wheels and, obviously, no self-propelling rings. I told the Red Cross man who visited me in the hospital that it was new and unused, and that they could have it for helping me with the latest one. The first one, I couldn’t fit into, and it had no footplates either.
I never did get any help to sort them out. Although they did supply me with a walking stick.

Later, still no advancement in the CorelDraw mesh problem, I went to make a brew and ended up taking three night sky shots.
I wonder if the planet in all three photographs is Venus or a distant moon?

Surely the moon should be bigger than this planet? And Tim Price often catches the two in the same frame? I must remember to ask him what he thinks.

I made a very belated mug of Glengettie tea, left it to brew, and went back to the computer backlog of blogs to try and get some done. Forgetting all about the mug in the kitchen. Bugged my what the heck I’d done in CorelDraw to mess it up. I tried to sort the Styles grid mess that I’d made. Another hour and a bit lost without any success! Well, at least not for me, it brought on again, and things were getting to me now. The lack of blog progress, ailments and my unknown cock-ups on CorelDraw & Paint.
I was pretty-well, enervated, devitalised, sulky, self 
I found myself berating and criticising myself.
I can’t believe it, how the last few days have got worse than the day before. 
Worries mounting, CorelDraw & Paint, Carer hours increase, going into a home, or neither? Then realised something had gone right for once. I’ve got the hearing aids mended. I should be feeling happy… But no. Through having to take a Carer with me to the clinic, I’ve had all that bother with the washing to do. Bad back, Dizzy Spells, right shoulder agony, Catheter playing up, making Little Inchie bleed, very little urine getting into the Catheter bag, even after the Nurse checked it out? Toothache, too. Oh, dear, I’m moaning yet again, sorry. My concentration is farcical, it’s nearly time for the teatime Carer’s call. I’m not going to moan any more… Well, I’ll try not to. So many reasons keep popping up. Surely I must have a decent day, just one more before
I go to St Peter’s gate and door?

Into the kitchen to get the kettle on again.
The planet that I saw before was no longer in view. I still took a photograph. Well, a few. How did they come out? Well, they were pretty poor.
But I’m not moaning, you can be sure.
Even though my teeth hurt, and my right shoulder is still sore.
I’ll have to cope with my physical & mental gore.

Time to get some food, I think, some sausages. With instant mash, sauce, salt and no-butter butter.
But, No! Oh, No!
Fell asleep, woke up later in the morning, bin full of empty snack packets and biscuit crumbs.

At least I didn’t leave anything on the cooker.
No taps left running, I even turned off the heater.
Maybe my fate & luck are going to get better?
Yeah, and I’m a red setter!
Oh, dear, I’m gerrin’ sarkier!
Let’s face it, my future looks darker,
I may get diagnosed as free of Ataxia?
I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling merrier?
I could get extra hours for the Carer?
Or, be sent to an old people’s shelter?
At least romantically of Grizelda?
Little Inchie may grow bigger?
But cause problems with the Catheter?
Win the lottery, and become wealthier?
Lose life’s chaos, turmoil, disorder?
Or, find myself arguing with St Peter?

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🦋 Haveth A Great Day 🦋
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Another shortie blog. Luckily, I took some photos, most from the balcony and kitchen window, to help prompt my memory. has been working overtime for the past two days. And a few seizures only helped to warp and confuse things.
I got up at 07:00hrs. It was a struggle to force myself, and a vague feeling woke with me and stayed all day.
Where the heck is my reminder pad sheet for the day gone? The day had a few busy bits in it, I think. And paid far too many visits.
Carer’s Ejaz and Mizra served me today.

Jenny got in touch with a computer man weho saud he should be able to help me with the computer problems. Bless her, she’s so kind. I sent an email to the address given, explaining my problems. No answer yet, but give them time.

The Warfarin DNA blood test was done.

I had three missed calls on my mobile; no numbers showed up.

The Amazon Kagholes and dressing gowns arrived, and I tried one of each on, but the others are in storage.

The quaint battery-operated calendar clock battery ran out, but I didn’t notice, and was overjoyed when I glanced at it, thinking, Ah, I thought it was much later, now I can have a go at the Ode at last. I spent an estimated hour on the Ode, thought I’d have a mug of Glengettie, made it and returned, and saw that the same time was on the clock. I checked on the computer, and it was gone midnight!

Early sky shot.

Mud slide, it was raining again.

Noticed the clock time. Hehe!,
Notice the toothache spray?
I’m nearly out-of-it now.
Better get some more ordered and a letter of apology for the Bank Manager formulated.

Rain and the sun were trying to come out.
A pareidoliaing delight.

These seaweed crisps are okay for me to eat, but the tangy ones are too hard to risk biting into in their current painful, crumbling-away state.
I hope Jenny & Frank might like them. If not, Jenny can pass them on to someone in need.
She is very good at this. 🤎

I’d forgotten about the teggies
and gums. Silly-me.

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TTFNski!
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