Inchcock: Sunday 13th November 2022

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07:00hrs: A second decent night’s kip for the old man, then. (It’s not often I can say that!)
I thought it wise to wait for a little before getting excited; I’d not done the checks yet, and I didn’t want to bring it back to reality just yet for a while.

I went into the kitchenette, mainly to check on the taps, stove, fridge etc. to make sure I’d not left anything on that shouldn’t be. All Clear!
So, a was duly adopted!

It was a foggy morning, not unlike those we used to get every November so many years ago. The memories flowed for a while. as I took these photographs!
Not necessarily good recollections. But a few did sneak in.
Got the Health checks done.

Pulse decent at 33.1°1f.

Sorry to say that the flipping Blood Pressure came out up in the Top Red area, Hypertension Three!
But only just. Hehe!

The SYS was really high this time at Red-Risk 162.

The Dia was fine in the Amber zone.

The Pulse was creeping back up again at 78.

I just can’t understand why they have classed in the red-three zone.
When three of the four are in the Amber zone?
I expected to be well lower down on the scale. Mind you, the SYS was high.
Came in. Got the medications sorted, and the lad was in a rush; I could sense it… his being so late told me that as well. He wanted his bed, and who could blame him. Talked him into trying a cold Starbuck Coffee for his thank-you treat. Be interesting to see what he say’s about it later next week. I bet Richard won’t take a coffee with Rum & Coke and his favourite, Pink Gin and lemon, being on offer. Hehe! He can have a coffee as well.
I got the mince in the pan with the beans and added some flavourings.

I’m well known as a flavourings-adder, you know. Hehehe!

Then I got two large potatoes in the big saucepan on the boil, and I nipped back to the computer to get her started and begin updating the Saturday blog. I had to avoid getting distracted with blogging for fear of forgetting about Josie’s meal cooking.

Went back to check, and the potatoes were already done? It only seemed like ten minutes. But, of course, it was longer.
As you can see in the photo here when it came to dicing the spuds ready to go in the oven to bake them crispy… This is how one potato turned out – Bad!
So, not so many spuds in Josie’s meal today.
Got the diced and olive-oil-sprayed spuds in the heated oven.
Had a clean-up. And back to the computer.
That is not blood on the paper towel. Oh, no! It’s probably jam or ketchup, something like that. As if a man of my calibre would cut his right index finger while slicing the spud, laughable.
Did some work on the blog, mostly correcting errors made. Tsk! Bet I still missed no end of them!

Added spuds to the saucepan of chilli-stew, or whatever you want to call it. But after taking out approximately half of the stew and placing it into a separate lidded-tub
This is Josie’s 2nd meal for Monday. She heats it up in her microwave. I try to make the two meals different for her. After taking out the Monday portion, I added some basil and BBQ to the first lot and stirred it up, warming it gently. No potatoes in the Monday one, either.
I had 20-minutes or so on the blog and made up Josie’s tray.

I’d got carried away today… Just look at that pile of stew in the bowl for her. It might get her eating better, but it is bound to get me accused of trying to make her look like Betty Bunter.
Now, for the less mature whippersnappers, these names will mean nothing. But to us kings growing up[ in the ’50s, they were previously revered. For they were in comics that we read.
Possibly. In this photo, Betty’s name is Bessie Bunter, but later she became Betty; I don’t know why. It’s me mishearing what Josie was saying… I’ll have to check that later with her.

But she was for the girls, and for us lads, we had Billy Bunter.
Two overweight kids that always seemed to get the better of their parents in the story we read. Hehehe!
I think that Sister Jane was a fan of that comic. There was the Topper, Beezer, Beano, Dandy, Eagle & others. Not bad for a bloke who read his instructions from the nut-house hospital last night and can’t remember anything he read?

Note the changing times in the covers here? In those days, the girls were trained as domestics, not future wives. So, Billy gets excitement out in the woods with criminals, and Betty-Bessie battles the fight to get food in the house. Not a single person back then mentioned them being unhealthily overweight. Hahaha! I wondered off subject again there, didn’t I?

Back to the diary: I delivered the meals to Josie.
I remembered taking the Lumix camera with me in my pocket, and I’d also got it in my bag! Every little victory, you know!

Josie was looking better today; bless her cotton socks. I’m not sure who is the more forgetful between us… but my guess would be it being even-stevens! Hehehe! The deafness we also share is just the same. She didn’t notice the over twice the usual amount of chillie-stew and the larger bowl I had to use to get it all in.
About Gawd knows when… I got the Saturday blog posted off.
Carer Carolynne arrived. We got the medications sorted and had a natter. (Well, I did!) Hehe! Forced treats in thanks on her. She took the waste bags with her as she left; with a smile.

Not in the flat, though. There was a fire in Basford or Sherwood area. I took these pictures of it. Much smoke varying from white to black and a few bursts of flames.
Annoyingly, I could find nothing on the news or the internet about it.

These chronologically go from left to right as you go down.

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Shame I couldn’t find them for a newspaper to use.

It’s 20:00hrs already! I’ll get something to eat, then my head down, I think.
♫ Food, Glorious Food ♫ Flavour-Rating 7.2/10. And I was surprised at how tasty the Adkins cobs were.
The Asda Soya lemon yoghourt was its usual tasty treat.

I got ensconced in the aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner.

Sleep came quickly tonight!
But could I stay asleep? No! I woke up jouncingly, joltingly, or jarringly so often; it almost tired me out! Fair enough, I got back to sleep quickly enough, but minutes later (it seemed), I was once again twitchingly woken up!

Sweet Morpheus was playing with me once more…

Or, mayhap it was , continuing on her mission along with the other mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind?

Inchcock: Monday 7th November 2022

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Sorry for the contents being short on details today.
One of those impossible-to-concentrate days.

Another can’t-get-to-sleep night. But at least I slept in, a reaction from the body mayhap in protest at Sweet Morpheus’s attitude to my requests for rest. So I reckon I’d got nigh on 6-hours of kip, much better.

I didn’t get up until 06:30hrs. A hint of mode came to me when I realised that if I slept this long on Wednesday, I could blob getting the lift to the hospital. Oh, dear!

I got up, had a wee-wee, emptied and cleaned the overnight bucket, and pressed on with getting the sorted. A couple of nicks shaving, but nothing serious. The teggies, shaving and washing etc., went rather well, actually. 
With the Porcelain Throne session, though. Unexpectedly, Trotsky Terence took over the bowels this time. What a mess!

I dressed and got the computer on, and did the health checks for today.

Well, what a nice surprise! Still in the Amber.
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arrived while I was making a brew and looking at what I’d got to eat for dinner in the fridge and cupboards.

Richard got the medications sorted and went and fetched the Flash speed mop and assembled it was a little quick for me to follow, but he kindly went through it again a little later for me. Who’s getting thick in his Dementia Doreen affected days? Hehe! You’re right!

Not only that, he used it… Fancy using someone’s new mop for the first time! It’s taken the edge off of my enthusiasm now, for the first time to use it. Hehehe! Only joking!

I must say he did it in no time. He didn’t move everything out of the way for this demonstration, and it seemed like three minutes before it was done!
Not confident about setting the new pads, but when I’ve done it a few times I should be alright. As long as the shakes don’t come on while I’m trying to fit them. What are the odds you’re offering for that a fit, shake, involuntary leg dance and or that the neurotransmitters don’t go offline when I try to fit the pads the first time? Hahaha!

Richard put the attachments on the old Carers table for me, telling me to leave them there, so you don’t lose them, keep them in sight! Richard knows what’s what. Bless him! We had a little natter, and he had to go; understandably, his bed awaited his attention.

I slipped him some treats, I insisted, said my farewells and thanked him for his help. But something was not right the moment he departed, and I shut the door; EQ told me not to panic… I wasn’t panicking. at least, I didn’t think I was. I thought I was in a good mood after just having Richard helping me. Annoyingly, EQ did not to me speak again? Somethings coming up that do me no good, but what and when? I forgot all about it and went to make a brew of, not Glengettie – for I have run out of their teabags. I could have sworn I had a box of them in the spare room, too! I also believed I had another box of the Co-op 99 teabags, but neither was seeable? Such are the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me! They hide things as well!

I took photographs of the morning view from the kitchenette window! When I got around to loading these, I found the top one from yesterday.
I’m pretty certain I did not put it in the Sunday blog.
The morning rain was just bringing down another mini mudslide at the end car park.

I took a shot of the much-missed tree copse. I really loved walking through that up the hill to the Woodthorpe Grange Park every day… sadly I miss the smells and the odd wildlife when walking through the trees… and if anyone was about, I’d talk to the trees and any animals showing themselves to me.
I noticed how full the bottom car parking spaces were, and this made me realise how late I’d got up, and it brought about the worries of me not getting ready in time if the hospital transport came early. In fact, I dreaded missing them.

It cheered me up so, to see it was Nurse Hristina from the Phlebotomy DVT Warfarin Clinic to take a blood sample for the INR reading. She patiently read the Cataract letter for me to see if there were any signs of whether or not they were going to perform the operation on Wednesday – or if it would be another two Pre-assessments. I’ve had six already? When Deana rang the Queen’s Medical Centre Hospital about it, whoever she spoke to said she didn’t know either! Getting fed up comes easier for me! Hristina was very patient with me. ♥

Very belatedly, I got on the computer to update the Sunday blog, going on the WordPress comments section first. After an hour or two, a message came up from Microsoft warning about heavy rain in your area today?

Herbert in the flat above started his banging about again.
I did not retaliate. Although I’m not saying I wasn’t tempted to.
Eventually, very late on, I got the updating done and posted.

l wandered into the kitchen and added some items to the planned meal.&- Roasted veg sauce and some soya imitation bacon bits.

While making a brew, I think whatever EQ was on about affected me.
Not going into detail; just saying that my concentration was abysmal. I struggled to get making a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea made properly. I decided to sit down for a while to drink the tea. (It went cold)
I nodded off, and I was flabbergasted when about three hours later. rudely woke me up. I thought it might be the evening carer, but no one came in. So I went to the door, and it was Josie bringing back the pots from her Sunday lunch. I was awake enough to ask her if she enjoyed it, and she answered, ‘Yes, very nice!’ That was good!

I went back to the computer, and I started doing this blog. But soon found it unbelievably hard work. Something was wrong; I just couldn’t spell words, understand them, or understand what I was doing minutes earlier… genuinely worrying.

Then the fretting over not getting up in time for the j074:00 > 09:00hr pick-up on Wednesday. Anything was likely to get me worrying at that moment. What’s going on?

Then, Herbert kicked off again. This time I matched each clatter and bang with one of my own, hitting the top[ of the tall bookcase. At least he stopped.
Around 18:20 hours, I got the chilli mixture cooking. Hope the Carer doesn’t come while I’m eating it –  didn’t think of that before.

As I typed that, in walked Carer Jodie. Hehehe! Early tonight, but she sounded a little Jaded. I soon got her laughing with my natterings after she did the medications. Treats in thanks, and off she went on her mission. Hehe!

Got the bean chilli and veg nosh served up. Had the last two brown cobs with it, and a lemon soya yoghourt

Very nice; the seasonings seemed to work alright. The smoked 7- Mediterranean Vegetable sauce suited this chilli.

As you can see, I didn’t leave a lot in the dish. Hahaha!

A flavour rating of 8.2/10 seemed to be a fair judgement. I just hope that the innards don’t start erupting later…
Sweet Morpheus was again reluctant to let me nod off. He relented in the early hours of the morning, and I think I got four-hours-uninterrupted shut-eye!  Then sprang awake, nodded, woke, slept, woke, fell asleep, woke…
Humph!

Inchcock: Friday 23rd September 2022

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03:25hrs: I so reluctantly stirred. I battled the willpower telling me to get up and get the ablutions sorted out. But I still rose delicately onto my feet and hobbled into the kitchenette and got the kettle on.
I recalled taking a decent photo yesterday of the morning view – whether or not I did is in question. Anyway, crossing my fingers that the Lumix will still be working, I selected an option for the SCN choices for a nighttime starry scene. Unbeknownst to me, it then told me to wait for 30 seconds after taking the photo and not to move the camera. Haha! Me, hold anything still for 30 seconds with Peripheral Neuropathy? Not a cat in hell’s chance! But I did my best and had hopes of it coming out alright. As you can see above, it didn’t! So I shot the next effort in Auto-setting.
Not so bad, but should have been better. a smidge disappointing.

I got the teeth, shaving and showering done. All went well, with no problems.
The body temperature was high again, a new highest ever, I think. 36.2°f. Mmm?
SYS at 144, DIA 71 and Pulse at 85 bpm. It looked like this was going to be another low; I put the figures into the NHS assessment site.
In the res, I didn’t expect that. I thought it was a certainty to go in the High-Normal Amber zone.

But, No! It was in Hypertension – 1. But only just, so it’s still better than recently. So, things, apart from the temperature, were looking good for once. In fact, looking at the graph, an improvement.
I got the waste bags made up.
Then sorted the waste out of the three-wheeled-walker trolley. On the computer, and found I’d received a comment on a blog. Replied to it, stopped computering, and got some suitable clothing on ready for the trip to Bulwell.
  ♫ Oh, Susana rang forth from the door chime, and in walked Carer Jodie ♫. She looked at the Blood Pressure Health Check chart. And gave me another Temperature check, which was higher than the earlier one, at 36.70°f! So, she gave me a Covid Test. Nope, I’m Covid-free. A little concerned about these high temperatures of the last couple of days? Particularly with it being low every time for the last two years and four months! Gave Jodie some

I thought I’d check everything to take again… not that I’m over-forgetful, a ditherer, waverer, vacillator, or dimwit. I was so pleased; over-the-moon with the Lumix working. Now I can take snaps of the riverside, the birds, the Market Place today. I was almost getting gregarious. I took a photo from the window, but nothing showed on the screen. My heart sank, so tried again, several times to take pictures, each one to no avail!
The day just went down to level three in the pissed-off stakes! I put the camera b battery on charge and had to leave it at home. Time to rush out for the Link minibus. Not in a good mood now!

The driver was looking rather annoyed as I stumbled out from the foyer on the ground floor. But he did not moan at me; bless him. We were pulling up at the Riverside Complex car park; it seemed to me in no time. Of course, I spent the journey nattering, and he couldn’t hear a word I was saying. A shame that!

Of how I wished that I had the camera with me. As I walked into Bulwell, the birds around the river Leen bank were bounteous and beautiful. I’d have loved to have taken some photos.
Over the next hour and a half, I visited three stores, and I got a carrier bag of this and that from each one. B&M, Heron, and Iceland.
Spent a bit!

Had I got the camera, I could have photographed the shop that I worked in back in 1962, a travel agent now.
The butcher’s van with tons of meat on show. Most likely horses, judging by the cheap prices he was asking. Hehehe!
The river Leen, not so many people around, and the fancy ducks and birds had abandoned the place to the many pigeons. Which is to who I fed the seeds.
A fist fight near the no longer open toilets on the other side of the road between two blokes, the shorter man had a good upper-cut. It was broken up before any police arrived… mind you, that’s not surprising in Nottingham. Three women sorted them out, and the bloke wandered off and into the pub together, laughing it looked like?

On my hobble to the Centre to catch the bus, there were an awful lot of escooters flying about and some damned dangerous disability scooter riders!

The good news? Was that was as good as gold to me. And  I did a fair bit of hobbling around with three heavy food-filled bags hanging on the trolley, too.
At the centre, I sat down near the end door to and from the car park… When I say sat down, I mean clumped down! I really didn’t see how low they were, and I think , burst a few papules… well, I know he did. Tsk!

The minibus came dead on time; it was Beryl who lifted me last Friday. Bless her. Likes a natter, my sort of gal. I don’t know her real name. Enjoyed the lift home. Bade farewell and off inside the foyer of the flats. Where neighbour Josie launched into Sherlock Holmesian mode. Where have you been? Did you meet anyone? You’ve bought more food? Do you need it? Hold on, I’ll come up with you… Did you get yourself some bananas?

I was slightly dazed when I got into the flat. Hahaha!
A drop of rain fell, but it only lasted for a few seconds.
I got the things put away and ended up with a mightily cramped-up load of fridge contents.
I think you must have noticed that the Lumix was working again? !
Definitely, I won’t need any substituted and short-dated food delivery for a few days or longer! I will have to ask Carer Richard to check the dates on the stuff in the fridge on Monday. Since I can no longer read many of the smaller-printed dates on such a lot of the things in there.

I’ll be spoilt for choice for a few days now.
I did manage to get some of the drinks from B&M.
I got a few non-alcoholic drinks of different types for the Carers and Nurses. A can of Mango Juice, one of Grape Juice. A couple of bottles of Coke signature drinks, which are Smoke flavoured? Cans of Rhubarb & Gin with Ginger Ale and a Passion Fruit Martini!

Then things got back to normal. Huh! The Link Service called me to tell me that they are picking me up tomorrow, at 07:55hrs. To go to the doctor. Needless to say, I’d forgotten all about this. I’m not sure if it is the Memory Test, Severe Frailty Check or the Flu Jab?
I thanked her kindly and checked the date on the calendar. Hmm! I’ve also got the Chiropodist at 11:15hrs. Oh, dear…
Then WordPress played up. And half of the screen was taken up with telling me the LinkedIn link needed updating. But it wouldn’t let me!
④  Kicked off with his noises again Concentration was hard enough without that uncommunicative, unamicable, unneighbourly, superior-natured, snotty, gits banging about!
⑤  Then I realised I did not have enough cash to pay for the bus in the morning!
Huh! I only dropped the spring water bottle, and it landed right on big toe!
Suddenly I realised it was a Saturday tomorrow. (I can be sharp sometimes) The problem is, most Saturdays… well, all of them, Carers come much later in the day. So I’ve now got to talk t.o whichever Carer comes tonight (Not always an easy task). And explaining that I needed them earlier tomorrow.
Life is not easy when one gets older and is on their own! Problems that cannot be solved. I bet you they let me down in the morning, and I have to go to the doctor without taking my medications? That is, if I can solve the shortage of money to pay for the minibus with – if I can’t, the whole day is going to be a further problem-bringing nightmare!
I’ve gone from almost contented to depression in ten minutes!

Blimey! The Carer is due anytime now.
Just started to eat the meal, and ♫ Oh Susana ♫ rang out. had arrived, and I had to explain the cock-up with the doctor’s appointment timing. He rang into his Meridian Care HQ and told them. The man said: “You are getting an outside Carer tomorrow, so they should be early. It would have been better to have informed us earlier…” If he thought about who he was dealing with for a moment, someone with Vascular Dementia who has had all the appointments changed on him by the surgery twice, he may have found it unnecessary for sarcasm.

I ate the three-quarters of the now cold meal left, washed the pots and took these evening shots from the kitchenette window 

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I used two different modes to see which was best. Naturally, I forgot to write them down so I’m none the wiser
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Inchcocks Tuesday 31st May 2022 – With Ode

ODE to MEMORIES

♫ Memories are made of this… ♫

Memories I have of sweets costing a farthing!
Getting skin cancer through over-sunbathing,…
I had sex once when I was thirtysomething…
Being six, Mam ran away, and I learnt snogging,
Christine, her name, I was her plaything!

Skidmarks on my unwashed underclothing.
Trying my hand as a pugilist, boxing…
I never won a bout; I was constantly losing…
So tried the sports club amateur wrestling,
Just one fight, it left me frothing and bleeding,

Years later, I tried my hand at WordPressing,
Got dementia. It is very depressing…
Worked in security, tried a spot of sleuthing,
Caught a crook once; he was very scathing,
He was found not guilty; I was seething!

I went undercover pretending to be birdwatching…
Dressed in camouflage, green and brown clothing…
Binoculars to hand, RT and truncheon packing…
Fell out of the tree as I suspect, watching…
Lost my job; it was gutwrenching!

Realising how bad I was at odes & blogging,
When I was getting on a bit, seventysomething,
I had a period of deep thoughts and soulsearching,
Seeking whatever, a reason to carry on trying…
Now I’m approaching the time for dying…
Oddly enough, there’s no crying, just a bit of sighing!

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TUESDAY 31st MAY 2022

05:10hrs: After yet another horrendous night of shooting awake, nodding off and bursting back into ersatz life, I gave up; I needed a wee-wee, anyway. But that in itself was a nightmare… well, morning mare!

The regular of late, trickling, waiting and whistling, was followed by an even more extended period of dribbling! At least by taking my time and making sure that things had stopped, I avoided any splashing of the furniture, carpet or my body parts.

I started the sphygmomanometerisationing. BP first, with satisfactory results, as you can see here on the left. A smidge high, but nothing compared to many of last week’s figures for the SYS, at 149, DIA 74, and Pulse 78bpm. Very good! The Chinese (Hong Kong) was built by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, was still showing low. Compared to the target set by the hospital, of 35°c, at 33.7°c. But no worries!

I made up a waste bag and then went to the wet room to check out the feet and ankles that I found affecting my balance and hurting me a smidgeon.

I dug out yesterday’s photo of the pins to compare it with today’s (top).

Quite a change? The DVT and old ankle blotch had gone all artistic and more pronounced. Which is what the pains did as the day developed. They have not been this bad for months? Then I got the kettle on but didn’t get to make a brew as the innards summoned me back to the wet room.

Once again, the motion was reluctant to start moving. So, I had a go at the crossword book, a different one, as the previous one had got me struggling. Got a couple of answers in, and the sludge started coming! I can’t recall ever having a more gooey sticky, pongy evacuation than this was! Half a new toilet roll later, I started the mammoth task of cleaning up. Had a wash, got dressed, and went back to the kitchenette.

Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana, and got some photos uploaded to CorelDraw, then the computer. Got the Monday blog updated; it took me a long time. During which the feet started stinging even when I was sat down. What’s going off down there?

Carer Richard arrived. The lad didn’t look too good. So I launched some humour at him, to which he responded well. As he got the medications to me, the poor chap started sneezing and coughing, and he was sweating so much! Not that that stopped him for long, he even showed me how to get the Grammarly extension, not to give corrections for sentence building. Unfortunately, it stopped Grammarly from working at all! Hehehe! I laughed because we got it back on and laughed about it. (Phew!) Richard didn’t look any better when he departed, but I think he was a little happier. I hope he is not coming down with any illness. Fingers crossed that he’ll be back tomorrow and feeling better. I got the Monday blog post done last, and the Morrison delivery arrived.

The delivery person brought up the flowers first, so he didn’t damage them, and he went down to the other bags; that was kind of him. These are for the Wardens. He fetched the different parcels, and I got them into the kitchen.

Got the things stored away. There is no frozen today; the freezer would struggle to get a biro or single fruit gum in. At least I got some of the battered chips, not the ones I wanted, but the last ones tasted nice enough. They substituted for battered onions with a tray of mashed turnips? Still, they’ll do for me. The bananas almost made me feel guilty! They looked like a set of parents with their children. Alright, so I’m a little weird at times! It has to be admitted, I fear. My travel into loony-land is taking on a little speed lately. Hehehe!

Cleaner Esther arrived. Talking all the time, picking fault with me not getting out for some exercise… then she took the laundry down to get done. I missed most of what she said. But, I did pick up on my ordering too much food. I’ve long stopped bothering to explain things to her. Hehehe!

I took Morrison’s Amazon food delivery wrappers to the waste chute. The fire door was wedged open into and from the flat’s lobby area. Some work of some sort was taking place. The lighting of some sort, I believe.

I limped (the flipping feet are getting even more painful now?) down through the lift lobby and to the waste room door at the end to the left.

I partly trapped my knuckle in the cast iron lid as I shoved the bags into the chute. Nothing new; I’m becoming something of an expert in doing this!

Back to the flat lobby and through into 72 Woodthorpe Court single apartment. Well, I would; I live there. Hahaha! I may be losing it again here?

I got some Facebooking done and the WordPress reading. Later, got the oven warming up for the nosh, specifically the battered chips.

Esther returned with the washing, all done. Oh, the tongue lashing I suffered. I’ve no idea what they were about, mind you. But they flowed at me without relenting or relaxing for a good few minutes. Deafness can have its advantages. Hehe!

I’ll get the meal started, and then, if I don’t fall asleep, try to get the top Ode-making started. Got the beer-battered chips in the oven and got some WordPress comments answered, then went to check the ovens in the chips… or even the chips in the oven.

Enjoyed this plateful immensely. Especially the beer-battered chips. And soft bloomer sliced bread.

A Taste-rating of 8/10 was given. Then, as I had failed to get any desserts with the food order (my fault, Doreen Dementia’s), I guiltily had one of the baby bananas. You can see how small they were here. Tasty lovely. I’m not sure, but I might have heard it crying as I bit into it! Hahaha!

Washed the pots up. And then proceeded to drop the washing-up liquid bottle to the floor via my right toes. What a mess! Got it sorted out and just finished it.

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang out, and in came the Evening Carer. Well, Carers, mob-handed. Hehehe! They got the medications sorted, and we had a three-way natter for a couple of minutes, and off they went. Bless ’em.

I got the TV turned on, and there was no reception at all? Mayhaps the electricians, needed to turn off some connection to get done whatever they were doing? So, I put in a Heartbeat DVD to watch. The message came up No DVD inserted! Oh!

I reset the Freeview system. But only a third at most of the channels were loaded, and all West Midlands? So, reset again, picking the ‘All’ option. This time it came up and seemed to be working. But the DVD wasn’t having it! Humph!

I could see the sky’s colour changing through the paper-thin curtains. And nipped out to take a photo of the unique cloud and sky colouring. Not the brightest I’ve seen by a long shot, but I thought it was an awe-inspiring bit of nature.

Fifteen minutes later, the glow of the sun’s setting permeated the room, and I hobbled into the kitchenette. To take this picture. Another masterpiece of nature. I’m so glad I didn’t fall asleep now. But soo regretted thinking this.

The sixth night on the trot of being unable to get to sleep. Couldn’t read a book, thanks to cataracts, glaucoma and saccades. Put the TV on but could not hear it or read the subtitles easily. But kept springing awake again, seemingly every five minutes or so. After perhaps twenty jump-awakes on the 21st, I gave up and rose onto my feet for a wee-wee. It was hard work and well gone midnight before I drifted off…

Morning all!

Inchcock’s Diary, with Memories and an Ode

What happened to Inchcock on this day, in 1953?

On his way home from the getting some cows heel and tripe for his Dad. As he was crossing the canal on the bridge on Wilford Street. A gang of teenage Herberts lifted him and unceremoniously threw him off the bridge into the canal! Being about six years of age, scared to death of water, and unable to swim (His fear was life-long, he still can’t). He struggled to grab hold of a barge rope hanging over the side of the boat but lost his grip, he got cold, and his fingers were not big enough to hold on… As he sank into the water, a pair of strong hands from a bloke in a rowing boat dragged him out and took him home. Where his father knocked the hell out of him for losing the tripe and cow heel, pointing out that the 2/6d (12.5p) cost would come out of his pocket money! Which baffled the lad a bit cause he never did get any pocket money from his Dad in his life?

SUNDAY 15th MAY 2022

05:15hrs, I begrudgingly woke and awaited the brain to join me. Which it did, with the message that I needed a wee-wee. I freed my cumbersomely large bellied body from the £300 second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable, unfit-for-use, not working recliner. NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) took me a while due to the vast amount of  PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

Dizzy Dennis kept going at me all morning long in short bursts. I got the waste bag sorted out and started prepping the veg to go in with Josies Chilli meal. Chopped leeks, carrots and peas.

Opened the can of Chilli and started adding the cooked vegetables. Put them in the saucepan and add squid vinegar (liquid salt), chilli powder, Worcester sauce, and malt vinegar. After testing the flavour, I can add gravy salts and tomato puree with basil.

Herbert is noisy again. Bloody Sundays and weekends, he’s always the same!

I visited the Porcelain Throne. A good job that the carer was so late because I must have been in the half-an-hour at least. Most of the time was spent cleaning and clearing up. Trotsky Terence was in charge again. You wouldn’t believe the amount of loo roll used! Tsk!

Got a good wash and showering done, I felt a bit better then. Coming out of the wet room, I got through the door, and by the fairer without a knock, shoulder slamming or toe stubbing.

A new carer came in without ringing the buzzer-chime, and of course, I didn’t hear her coming. Sarah, she’s not been before. Nice gal, but she didn’t take the waste bag with her, no problem. I can do that later with the next one to go. No problemo! Well, as long as Vascular Dementia Doreen lets me remember. Hehehe!

The photos went on through the card reader!!!! So I got the old ones on. Yesterday one here first. The state of the ankles as I came out from the shower yesterday. Not painful nor itchy, although they did later.

These on the right are what they looked like after this morning’s session at ablutioning. Not any different, really. Or are they, and Cataract Kathleen has missed something?

A morning photographicalisation from the kitchenette next. The bright sunshine on my face made it impossible to take a good one.

My evening, well, was the only meal of the day. Potato slices baked, tomatoes, crap tasting sugar snap peas. And gorgeous mushroom pate on a couple of baps. Taste Rating: 8.8/10!

These two were taken with a sort of foggy haze in the air. After seeing them, I thought they had a kind of gentle quality to them. That’s not what I mean, but as close to what I can explain. Peaceful, tranquil, they made me feel free from strife… of course, that didn’t last for long. But a good sensation while it lasted… I’m now awaiting the arrival of the next Whoopsiedangleplop. I pressed on with updating and posting the Saturday bog to WordPress. The Facebooking, WP Reader, and some WP comments are to read and reply to.

Herbert’s cacophony of banging, clanging and grinding noises continues.

A wee-wee, and back to the photos. I took this shot from the balcony. RVD (Red-Van-Man) is back, but the small red car has taken up his beloved parking spot on the yellow no-parking lines. Hahaha!

Time to start checking on and serving up Josie’s nosh now. On my way to the kitchen, ♫Oh, Susan♫ chimed out from the doorbell? Josie came to tell me that she was going out to a restaurant with her sister and didn’t need the meal! Well, blow me, fancy letting me know half an hour before I deliver the meal! But let’s face it, it’s much better than five minutes. Hehehe!

She said she could collect it tonight on her way home. So, I said I’ll put it in a big jar to let it cool, then you can place the container into your fridge; that’ll be two chillies to use later on. Josie added, “She’s (Her sister) has only just called me to let me know”.

Herbert just dropped something this time; it sounded heavy. I gave him a gentle tap on the piping with my walking stick. Not that it will do anything to help me get some peace. He is the most equanimous, unforthcoming, stand-offish person I’ve ever met. Superior Shithouse!

“Clunk, thud, ratattattatat!” That serves me right for getting annoyed. Then I kept getting scratching-like and knocking noises. I’m so sorry, Sir Herbert!

Two chilli meals in the container and some treats for Josie when she gets back from the meal with her Sister at the restaurant. I’ll get mine (meal) started now, then see if owt is on the TV cause the computer problems are driving me mad! (Of course, there are many other reasons, Haha!)

I put the potatoes and vegetarian burger in the oven, peas in the pan, chopped some mini tomatoes and got the TV on for half an hour while the burger and spuds baked. And put the TV on. To find the Ladies Cup Final was showing, and I got deeply into it, so interested that I forgot all about the cooking!

I fumbled out of the £300 second-hand, decrepit, c1968 recliner, got Walter the Wooden Walking Stick, and into the kitchenette. I nervously opened the oven door… The ‘bake for 30 minutes’ food had been in for nearly an hour!

The breadcrumbed veggie burger did not look appealing at all. It felt very hard. As expected, the potatoes were overdone; some of them, the smaller ones, were inedible and had to be thrown. Yet I ate all of it! Enjoyed it too! The burgers left in the fridge will get overcooked; it was firm and delicious! The spuds were tough to eat, and no doubt damaged a few of my remaining teeth, but it all tasted grand! Flavour Rating: 8/10! I hope Duodenal Donald and Harold’s Haemmorhoids can cope with it, and I get no toothache! Hahaha!

Cara Sara arrived, again not ringing the chime and giving me a shock when she entered the room. But a lovely surprise, she is tall, young, beautiful and charming. (Dang to old age! Har-har!)

Sweet Morpheus was again resistant to my requests for shut-eye! But, when he permitted me to nod off, I slept through without any jolting awakes for just under six hours! Great!

Friends Comments when I got shot (First-Time)

“Oh, yer?” An old schoolmate by the name of Elgin,
“Could ‘ave been anyone!” fellow security officer Kathryn,
“Tell me another!” My neighbour in Sherwood, Glyn,
“Shit!” I forget his name, Welsh lad from Abergynolwyn,
“Serves yer right!” The supervisor at control called Kelvin,
“Why?” An old passion of mine, a big gal named Roslyn,
“I wunt du yoor job!” Traffic Warden, called Edwin,
“Tommy rot, yer tit!” Richard, but we called him Dick Turpin,
“Will yer be off work?” Manager, we all called him Fagin!
From the hospital, they sent me back to the site again…
“Can yer drive yersen there, course you can!”… Fagin!
“You can’t claim off of us!” Site manager, on arriving…

Evening All!

Inchcocks first solo visit to the Slab Square: In 1955

Inchcock then & now Haha!

Despite the poverty, I was at my happiest…
In my younger years, and almost positive!
Full of vigour and at my determinest…
I set out one Sunday to slab Square, looking my nattiest!
First time alone on a trolleybus, at my swankiest!

43 Trolleybus in town

The bus ticket cost all of 3d,
Today that would be about ½ a new penny,
I wanted to get a Sunday paper, you see…
Take it to Dad; make him proud of me!
But the newsvendor asked, where’s your Daddy?
I didn’t realise he knew my Dad, Harry!
He told me to take myself home and hurry!
But he did give me a newspaper for Dad, for free!

West Bridgford (WBUDC) bus

So, I did, on a posh, pretty coloured WBUDC,
West Bridgford Urban District Council, you see?
We didn’t argue with adults back then, tactfully…
Agreeing with grown-ups, had desirability…
Cause of their clipping you around the earhole, ability!

I hastened home…

I hurried home, in hope of a visit from Auntie Kerry…
She liked to bath me, which always affected my psychoactivity,
I think she had some habits, mayhaps, eccentricity?
She scrubbed me up well, with dexterity, not dignity!
I always greeted her arrival with emotional glee!
Not understandingly, but happy… and expectantly…
Knowing (praying for) what she was about to do to me! ♥
I longed for her visits, and was her greatest devotee,
And to think that people said we were an odd family? Hehe!

Well, perhaps we were…

How things change… Hehehe!

Good Morning, all!

Inchcock Today: Life In Ode

Mind Control… or lack of…

What my mind is conjuring, and weirdly producing,
Has a new idiosyncratic strain that needs introducing…
A previously unknown worrying sense of doom-accepting?
You know, a sort of go with the flow, with no coercing,
This new deliberation of mental compliance is almost piercing!
It’s still a new thing, so I’m not going to start whingeing…
No moaning, cursing, complaining or penancing…
But, the control of my thoughts is indeed decreasing!

Kentucky Dream…

A dream only last night, I was in a house, tippytoeing…
Floating, searching, smiling, and happily singing!
It was where my cyber-friends Lisa & Billum were living…
Although they couldn’t hear me, to them, I started chatting…
I was aware this could just not be happening…
I cooked them a chilli stew and started the garnishing…
Left them a note with the meal, and started going…
Outside I was suddenly solid again and segueing…
Along a pathway… the dream started subsiding,
I found myself in my wet room… wee-weeing!

The justice system, I can’t help renouncing…
Criminals, murders freed early, to rob and kill again!
No thoughts of family members or victims; disgusting!
No realisation that they have given anguish and pain…
Pathetic parole board, free killers again, mind shuddering!
Is it the judges, parole board or murderers that are insane?

True Love Lost…

In 1964, I visited Grizelda, hoping she was in the mood for servicing,
She was very good to me, in fact, she was astounding!
For hours we were in heaven, sweating, exhilarating!
For the next session, I was already praying and waiting…
Then shattering news! Grizelda was departing…
But she gave me one last amazing trouncing…
Thus, the end of our fantastic romancing…
Gawd, how I loved our coupling and connecting!
She went home to München… bloody sickening!
One day I might find an affaire du Coeur again?

Confusions…

I ordered two-blade razors for shaving,
I used Morrisons. What should I have been expecting?
I got 5-blade razors for my shaving…
So, did my teeth, de-nasaling and washing…
Started shaving, I found it challenging…

The results were a smidge discouraging,
I’d already got bleeding molars from teeth-brushing,
The razor? I cut my finger on the plastic sheathing,
A tiny cut near the ear hole. Didn’t half sting…
Applying the aftershave to stop the bleeding,
Shuddering Shoulder Shirley started twitching…
Blood in the chest, floor and clothing…
As the Brute, I kept on sploshing…
I dropped the bottle on my foot; I was seething!
Farting about, I was very self-scathing…
But heroically carried on with my bathing!
Then walked into the doorframe, leaving…

 – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Advice Received this Week

The Ophthalmologist: Take this leaflet and read it. The print was too small to read it!

The Ophthalmologist: Remember to phone the Doctor in two weeks to ensure that the Cataract operations application papers have gone through and the process started. No mention of what to do if they hadn’t – And does she really expect me to remember to do this?

Carer: (On me losing the TV remote control, I’ve never found it) You should put it in the same place every time! Well, I actually do try to, so good advice. It’s not clear cut, but falling asleep with the regular nocturnal somnambulant activity almost every night. I often find I wake and turn on the TV, get the crossword book, or, judging by the crumbs found in the folds of my stomach fat, indulge in nocturnal nibbling. But only discover this in the morning after waking. At first, I blamed the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunting the hallways and lobbies searching for Inchcock. To create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, scare, worry and confuse me! Sometimes, the furniture has been moved too. Shame! So, as sound as the advice was, it wasn’t practical for Vascular Dementia Doreen or me.

Carers – Warden Dean & the Nottingham City Council Commercial Debt and Revenue Recovery lady, and Bank Clerk: (Re the hundreds of pounds 3 months unpaid carer Bills to Meridian). “Don’t worry!”?

Dentist: (On being asked for the umpteenth time to take all my remaining teeth out) “I might be able to save the top front one…” After three have fallen out, the two previous ones she could save having been filled twice, then pulled. My confidence is low!

LookAfterYourEyes.org: The operation usually takes from 15 to 45 minutes. It is carried out under local anaesthetic, so you will be awake but not have any sensation in the area around your eye. Throughout surgery, you will hear the ophthalmologist explaining what they are doing, and you may see some vague movements around your eye. The ophthalmologist will make a tiny cut in your eye to remove the cataract and insert a plastic replacement lens. You will not usually need stitches, but your eyes will be covered to protect it from knocks after the operation.

You will be allowed to go home the same day, but you should have someone to go with you and look after you for 24 hours after surgery. Who?

If this means a Meridian carer, it would cost me a minimum of £440 for the 24 hours! Arghhh!

Just how does one go about declaring bankruptcy? Is it easy?

Part of the Inchies Make Them Laugh In Odes Series

Fings I read, that triggered the memory!

Wednesday 8th December 2021

Fings I read, sometimes those I view…
Glaringly show a change in my milieu,
Viciousness, cruelty and lack of virtue,
Growing greed, drugs, alcohol, always in need,
I do some little Odes to go with each preview,
I’ll have to set myself a curfew…

For I’ve a lot of things, I have to do…
I don’t want to run late, causing a hullabaloo!
Shortly to the dentist, I’ll have to go…
I’m not scared or nervous, oh, no. No…
No sweat or nervousness from me does flow…
I shall keep calm, steady as I go…
Any falling of tears, I’ll stop; I know,
Ah, now I’ll have to stop in mid-flow…
For wandering off the topic, I did go!
I sense brewing up within me, a foggy mind fiasco!

Spotted on BBC Site!

Where they got the forty times from, I know not,
It was now more than a dozen, but that’s enough, what?
After clarificationing, the women officers were rather hot…
I thought, on one occasion, a taser would be shot!
Each raid increased my usage of the chamber pot,
But they did give me a food parcel, quite a lot,
Gin, biscuits, steak, turkey, crisps and whatnot,
For my not being a moaning fusspot?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Sense of Humours Demise!

This brought back into my damaged mind…
A time when folks were more pleasant and kind,
Jokes at others expense… but no one gained?
Our sense of humour still remained…
Now the PC brigade is unrestrained…
The worlds do righters; are they all unsained?
It’s easier in this world to be scatterbrained,
As the compassion and empathy are slowly drained!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Opticians

Like Doctors and dentists alike,
They now wish patients would take a hike!
Coronavirus, now Omicron with its recent spike…
People out without masks on, buying up the Nike,
Christmas contact, so virus spreading – Crikey

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

NHS Maintain Some Humour!

The standard or garden employees of the NHS,
Well, I thank them all, Heaven thank them, and bless!
Mistreated, the Politician pay them a rise, a pittance!
These expense-fiddlers live in several houses, all chandeliered!
Well, it’s time that the righteous mutineered…
Then strikers would be genuinely feared…
But the NHS staff will not – though their hopes are withered…
Will the MPS stop fiddling if they are ever sobered?
Will Nurses etc., continue to get backstabbed?
Will the NHS staff stop getting clobbered?
Will MP’s ever stop getting bribed?
Do they still get free drinks, thus get imbibed?
The Virus … Has anyone checked…
With whom the MPs are necking!
No Expense Form Claim checking!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The Law

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Laughter!

The old folk, most of them have still got the oomph!
To laugh at themselves and be a little pottymouth,
Edinborough, Manchester and Portsmouth…
To Weymouth, Nottingham and Yarmouth…
Political Correctness? They’ve had enough!
Try telling them what to do – they’re pretty tough!.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Nottingham!

Not a lot of folk in Nottingham are aristocratic,
They are famed for being somewhat autocratic!
Shoplifters, druggies, muggers, old uns arthritic…
ATM con artists, a few have jobs, some even autistic…
Alcoholics, Methodists, Atheists, and Catholic,
Muslims aplenty, we house them after taking them in…
But no complaints from me, for me it’s a win-win!
Apart from the Escooterers, they are a danger and chaotic,
Students from afar, all corners of the globe, some are Balearic!
Without them, life would be quiet, not hectic,

I’ll stop now; I’ve got to take my diuretic,
Got carers coming to dose me? It’s pathetic!
But, that’s me, the human Guinea pig, innit?
Then I have to shower, change of clothes, be contortionistic,
Frustrating, but I don’t get apoplectic or dramatic…
If I shave without cutting myself, I think that’s cosmic,
Lousy Ode today… the whole this is diabolic…
I’m off then, radio, later on, the Barnsley philharmonic.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Well, I got that wrong, but happily so,
It was Brass Band music, great, kiddo!
Blidworth Welfare Brass Band, too,
They were good, credit where it’s due…
They played absolutely excellent. Yahoo!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Life’s Essentials I’ve failed to grasp!

So often, I’ve been beggared, challenged and confounded by these beautiful, cannot live without, creatures.

My first awareness of their desires, demands and wily ways came early in life for me. I’ll explain what happened to get my message across correctly and unsmuttily.

I think I was around five or six years old at the time. Mother dear had just conned Dad to take her back in after the police chased her down.  She’d been on the run from the police again. Of course, I was not au faux with the situation at the time. I’d been told she had gone to look after Auntie Betty while she was ill. Never had an Auntie Betty before? A few unknown Aunties were visiting me in later years. But none had the attraction of the next Auntie I was to be introduced to, Auntie Kerry!

Mummykins had been back for several weeks. She was on probation). Out of the blue one weekend, I was told that I would have to stay with Auntie Kerry for a few days, and she would collect me in her car and drop me back after a week or so. I just took it that Mummy would have been going to court or prison for this time. All matter of factly, I was used to it by then.

Sure enough, this largish, plumpish ‘Auntie Kerry arrived in the afternoon, a Player’s full Strength in her lips, deep red lipstick, make-up caked on her face, but she did smell nice. She introduced herself and made a bit of fuss over me, asking what foods I like – I’d never been asked that before by anyone! She was not impressed with the clothes Mother handed to her for me to wear but was pleasant enough about it. “We’ll set of early then Francis; I’m going to get him some new clothes from Fords on the way home, my treat!”

This was all baffling to me? What had I done to deserve this? Sure enough, we left and drove into town, parking her Austin A40 in the ice stadium car park, and we walked over to the Fords shop.

I liked how she kept handling me now and then while driving there. As if to put me at ease. (Little did I realise her intentions then, but I soon learnt and appreciated them that night!) She spent a fortune (to me anyway) on clothes and asked me if I liked this or that one before buying – Had I died and gone to heaven?

We took the clothes back to the car, and Auntie Kerry told me it was roast pork, green beans, and baked potatoes for the meal. I was Gobsmacked! Indeed, this put Mothers usual bacon rinds and tinned tomatoes to shame!

We got to her massive gardened house, somewhere (I now know to have been in the Rutland Road area, in West Bridgford) carried the goodies and food into the mansion. Auntie’ said, “Firstly, we’ll give a bath and get you in the new pyjamas” A bath… an indoors bath, with running hot water, no dragging the tin bath indoors, it was warm in there… I think I checked to see that I wasn’t gone to heaven again.

Boy, was I looked after! Bubble bath, proper soap (although I did and still crave the no longer available carbolic soap) and the sole attention of Auntie Kelly, especially in the area below the belly! Of course, I was in my eye-holes. I just knew that I was lapping it up!! I had no idea what was going on. After the extraordinarily long time in the bath, being pampered, massaged and excited, I was taken downstairs and fed like a King!

Blimey! She had a TV too, central heating, curtains, tablecloths instead of the Nottingham Evening Newspaper… luxury this was!

She turned on the TV set and sat me on her knee, well, knee to start with… I lost any interest in watching whatever was on the goggle-box.

“Another bath then?” declared Kerry. Who was I to disagree! Gawd, it was good – I innocently went along with every idea, suggestion or manoeuvrings my mysterious Aunt came up with. Physical jerks of a sort, I still didn’t know what we were doing or why… other than on my behalf, it gave me such great pleasure! And, there was plenty to enjoy.

But, I can assure you that what time we had left together was not wasted. Even in the car driving me home, we pulled up on Meadow Lane, and we re-entangled ourselves, sadly, sickenly for the last time.

No, that’s not true, actually. A couple of years or so later, while Mother was off on the run again, Auntie Kerry turned up at the house many times, and she made sure it was on a Saturday – my bath night, so all was not lost. Just not the same in a tin bath in front of the fire.

I was disgusted (but happily worn-out) four days later, reinvigorated with the kindness and indulgent pampering when she told me I had to return home!

I realise it is now safe to tell this tale, for the mysterious, inestimable, plump, aged Auntie Kerry (whoever she was) will by now be in heaven – awaiting my arrival, I hope!

A heartfelt Thank-You to Auntie Kerry! ♥