The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Gonglehead Inchy: Friday 20th September 2024

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – -.
On the right here is an admirer of Mr Clough, ‘Cloughie’. It’s Inchy. Taken this morning… with him actually smiling! Yes! Well, very nearly, anyway. That’s a rarity to be seen nowadays for the old fart to be doing. I imagine the old man was either high on drugs or Dementia Doreen was toying with him. Either way, the poor sod did not know how the day was going to go, obviously. Had his EQ or Alto Ego Inchie warned him, there would have been no smile on his face! He may well have been spitting blood & crying, too. 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I didn’t get around to this blog until 17:20hrs.
I could do with some magic powers…
I’ve lost hours and hours...
Not though my fault; it angers!
I’m sick of the bad-luck adducers,
Still, I suppose it will get worse…
How can I free myself from this curse?
A plea for help is this verse!
Or at least see another nurse…
A short one today, on & on, he bleaters!
Hehehe!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

A little lighter today?

The most frustrating evacuation of the week!
Sheer agony, as the moulded-together clumps of product crept out so painfully slowly. I felt sure something was going to get ruptured during this session. The Germoloid cream was clearly visible in the almost black escaped mass.  
I stayed seated for a while, letting the pain ease, which it did in a couple of minutes. Then, I firmly grabbed the grab bars to raise myself from the WC.
My hand caught the pink spray bottle of foam cleaner on the rail. I sprayed myself, the porcelain, the cabinet and the floor as I had a kerfuffle in trying to stop it from falling on the floor and bursting open. As I stood there weighing up my lousy luck and how best to clean it and my rear end up. I got a short bolt from , followed within seconds by a few . Never had two so close before, so I was not ready for the second one. It was only for a few seconds; it was as if I’d blinked and woken to find the pink spray bottle lying on the floor and leaking! Not a good start to the day! Then again, I should be used to them by now! But for some reason, I was riled by this Accifauxpas. Even more rileder after all that bending down had got kicking-off.

I decided that an early mug of tea might lessen my woes, so I went to the kitchen and thought I’d take a snap of the dank, misty morning. I stayed that way all day. However, I took this unintentional picture of the window ledge first. Clever that, how I didn’t realise. Ha-ha!
Then I moved into position, hanging out of the window to take the morning view.
Getting back in, I very nearly swore!! I stubbed my ingrowing toenail toe under the heater. It still hurts!

Carer Maryham arrived and tried to ring the Community Nurses to order more day and night bags for me. But I’d given her the wrong number. She’d run out of time then, so she had to scoot off. She said she would ring them later and let me know how it went. I haven’t heard anything. She may be doing it tomorrow because I did tell her I had some left to use, but I’d like to keep the stocks up now that Kara is not calling. That was good of her.♥ She noticed me holding my arm and looked at it, taking a photo of it. More about that later.

Carer Joanne came later with the medications that had been ordered. She was in a rush, but I remembered to ask her how her visit to the urology unit went. She’s still waiting for the results from Tuesday. Nice gal. ♥

I got back to the blog work. There was a massive cock-up, which began then!
I was doing what I had been doing: posting pictures taken with the camera, sized, and titivated on CorelDraw to the WordPress blog. I’d done about four of them, and on the fifth, they were disappearing. I got them in the file, but they did not appear on WordPress. At first, I was not too bothered, as I recalled last week, forgetting to convert them to JPG. So, I went back to CorelDraw to make sure… While checking on the graphics… The screen filled with so many messages about the computer being short of memory came up on the screen. The depression was instant!
I then spent four hours trying to clear stuff, but after my last two manual clear-ups, when I lost hundreds of files I needed for the blog, I was nervous about doing it again.
I supposed they were triggered by the tension I felt. I couldn’t continue with the manual clear-out. After each seizure, I was lost, confused as to what I was up to or had already done. 
Then CorelDraw froze on me. Sister Jane rang me; it seemed that the Carers had called her to tell her about the whatever it is red spots on my swollen right arm. I said it was nothing and I’d put cream on it, and it is hardly noticeable now. Then she told me I was eating far too much! I’m happy she rang me all the same. Hehehe! We had a natter, and Jane told me how things were at her end, which I enjoyed. 

Then it was back to the computer problem, which caused more time loss. Ultimately, I had to pay for a CCleaner for the computer, which required another hour of downloading and installing! There was no financial help. I can’t even get on the bank’s site on my own.

By now, the day was coming to an end!.
But after running it, CorelDraw started working again! Hurrah! So, I was making a start on this blog at long last, and Carer Christopher arrived. He pointed out that I had no diabetic socks on. He was right; I’d forgotten to ask Maryham and Joanne to get them on. Tsk! Another fine day!
It’s too late for me to bother now.

I’m going to get the oven on. I’ve been at the problem sorting for too long. I’ve missed both Heartbeat episodes on TV. I just found out the day catheter bag was like carrying a football bladder on my leg, and I emptied it hastily. I will now turn on the oven to make some chips to go with bacon sandwiches. I hope Jane doesn’t read this. Har-har!
I hope to be back to catch up in the morning.


Well, that didn’t happen!
I slept for about seven hours when Carer Chris woke me up.
I’ll explain if I ever get a blog done tomorrow.
I’m finishing this because of whatever it was that made me; I just could not get out of bed for hours and hours! About 12:00hrs. It’s Saturday now, 15:00hrs and I’ve only just got up to start to finish this blog, let alone make a start on tomorrow’s WordPress blog. Back to Friday…

Evening photo.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFNski

Wuggabugger Inchy: Thursday 19th September 2024

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
After a wonderful night’s sleep of about an hour, the Fire Alarm went off. Oh, I am a fool. I’ve already written about the alarm in yesterday’s blog. At the time of starting this writing (15:20 hrs), I’ve already dealt with some of the expected visitors. And must now find the stamina and desire to continue until the last callers arrives. Only the cardiac murmur nurses left to  arrive. Then maybe, I think, the TV Bailiffs may come. ‘At any hour of any day’, as they put it in their letter. Mind you, I also forgot about Window Cleaner Joe coming today. Talk about being confused… well, you weren’t, but I was. Haha!
I had so many people calling and ringing up throughout the day. I think Concentration Conrad enjoyed it.
I’ll have to do another quick job. I don’t know when the Nurses will arrive, so I’ll get on with the photos. I fang You!

The urine was not so dark, but then again, I got woken up by the alarm, and I ferreted around each room to find the cause. So it was like a morning exercise for me. No luck—HAHAHA! No luck, as if I needed to tell you that!
Got the ablutions tended to. No chance of getting back to sleep… sleep? Sleep? Oh, yes, I remember it now.

Oh! Nothing has moved all day yet.

Then Window Cleaner Joe arrived. I opened the door, and the moment I saw him, I remembered that he was due today. Tsk!

Carer Christopher arrived. It got me medicated, and the diabetic sock is on for me. I told him of my struggle last night to get the lid off the beetroot jar. Carer Israel called, and he took of the cap without any bother. I can remember the times when everyone would bring such problems to me to solve. Things change.

I started working on yesterday’s blog update, which I was still working on hours later when Carer Kimberley visited. I asked her if she could call the nurses to order more day and night catheter bags, impressing the short-leg version, and ask for some of the muslin pouches if available. I gave her the wrong number; Kara used to sort everything out. Kimberley, but no one has told her, and I couldn’t advise her. They told her to ring a number. But she didn’t have time. I thought she was doing the Health & Bank (Not that she can, until Kara swaps the names with the bank). Kimberley said she’d ring them later. Thank you, gal.

I’m back on the blog, but with all the Catheter and Bank problems, along with worrying about the nurses and the TV License team calling, concentration was minimal.

The Deep Vein Thrombosis nurse came next; she was in and out quickly, taking my best pen with her! Took blood and my pen! Hehehe!

Then, the Iceland order arrived.
Four items were substituted. 
One of them was the mini-plum top mates. They’d substituted a pack of four heavy, underripe tomatoes bigger than golfballs. They were that heavy, which indicates little juice but plenty of flesh… I took care not to drop any when putting them away. They would probably break a toe if they landed on my foot. Good job. I’ll get a drill and hacksaw. (Sarcasm)
I did get ready and microwaveable beef meals in rich stout gravy. I’m having one tonight if I ever get the unstarted blog done. Head spinning, I sorted the other stuff out.
After jiggling the products to make room for them, I got the bread into the freezer.

The Cardiac Nurses arrived. I greeted them with a smile and Good evening. They got me on the bed, stripped my top half, and set up the worryingly technical-looking scanner system. It only took about 40 minutes, and it was all done. I had to keep silent and not move during the process. Me! Not talk or move for all that time! shook a bit, and they had to start again. I may have sulked a little when they told me off for moving. Haha!

The print-out must have been 6ft long on the machine. The nurse with the lovely stubby legs said they do not do analysis; that’s done at the hospital. I will get the results tomorrow. They were kind enough to take a nibble and drinkie. I love to thank them that bit special.

1710:hrs: I’m on with the blogging up to here. But I need food and, even more importantly now, sleep.

Carer Chris kindly didn’t disturb me too much during his last call. He took the socks off, and no medications were needed. I think we had a little natter.

Forced myself to get up and get the belated nosh sorted out.

pillock

I did better with the earlier sunset photo, though.

Finally, I got onto the bed for a glorious uninterrupted
7 hours of blissful sleep!
Waking up was the problem. Hehe!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I got two in twenty minutes. Swim & pool.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Fare & Fair thee all well!

Intricate Inchy: Wednesday 18th September 2024

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
After a three-day test of my IQ & EQ, if I passed, I would be permitted to apply for an interview with UPS at their first opening in the UK at Sandiacre. Each failed testee (one of whom was me) was spoken to and given advice on their best job opportunities elsewhere, which they thought would suit us each. I was the last one to be called into the office. Three men sat at a desk and informed me that my rest results over the three days revealed that I had the lowest IQ ever recorded by any UPS applicant, and they have been doing this method of applicant sorting all over the world for 35 years. The directors of UPS were in the building and asked me if you would mind them having a talk with you? Naturally, I was confused, but I agreed. In walked two men with deep southern American accents and shook my hand? What’s going on here? I said to myself. It didn’t take long to find out, and I was amazed at the same time. The top dog man proclaimed that my EQ was the highest they had ever encountered in the USA and Europe! They handed me the advice print-out sheets, and as they confused me more with their questions, I bluffed my way through the answers, and off they went. Then the English chaps went through the advice with me. The job they recommended to suit my skills (more like lack of) was in the Police Force! Considering that it was donkeys years ago when Nottingham Constabulary would not entertain anyone under 6 feet joining them, how the men hadn’t noticed I was only 5’3″ tall baffled me even further. But a new urgent task took over, and I thanked them and departed. I went to the roof car park, got in my Skoda Estelle, drove home, got in, and got onto my computer to look up what EQ was.
My lack of education caught up with me!
I wandered off of the subject there, sorry!

I’d fallen asleep last night in the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner.
The nocturnal catheter bag was removed, and I was shocked at the darkness of the urine again. There were little bits of something in the bag, like dried mint or oregano. (The district nurse rang up later to say that the Warfarin DVT blood test showed a deficiency. No idea what it was of. But they would call between 09:00> and 11:00hrs in the morning to take another blood sample from me for urgent testing.) This means that in the morning, I’ll have even less time to complete the blog. It’s 20:00 hrs now, and this is as far as I am with the blog! There is no chance of finishing even this one, let alone starting on tomorrow’s blog!
Why? I’ll tell yers!
1️⃣ Tomorrow, I have a food delivery arriving. A Cardiac nurse or nurses are coming to inspect the mechanical aorta valve in my chest. The community nurse or nurses will come to get another blood sample to test for the deficiency. Someone from the bank will be telephoning  me between 10>13:00hrs. 
5️⃣ Worst of all, the TV Licensing Enforcement wallahs are coming at an undeclared time of the day about prosecuting me, and no doubt threaten me with the £1000 fine!
How can I get anything done? From now on, I will have to put snaps with comments on them. Sorry.
Oh, Bother! Carer Kimberley said someone may be coming to see me tomorrow. Unbelievable!
Another painful visit.

Shots from the balcony.
Or was it the kitchen?

Waste bags sorted.

Carers Shaquille, Marie, Kimberly, and Israel served me this wonderful Wednesday. It wasn’t, but you can bet it will appear so compared to tomorrow’s football match. I may actually end up with 10 people here at the same time. Hahaha! Scary!

No wash, got on the computer to catch up. But, of course, I just get further behind.

I dropped a handful of paper towels, bent down to retrieve them, and Dizzy Dennis gave me a turn. I didn’t hit the deck because I was lucky enough to clout my head on the heater. Now the new spectacle frame has an arm loose.
Fed Up? Me? YES!

Back on the computer between the Carers calls.

I’m not pleased with this week’s health check figures!

Two unknown what or why photos were taken today.
It beats me! Then, most things do.

I did it again! Put the wrong cream on the wrong ailment.
ARRGH!

Must make summat to eat now.
I may be back, but with my luck,
you never know! Haha!.

I wonder if I’ll ever get time to blog again and onto the WordPress Reader?
I can’t believe so many visitors will call on the same day, and then there are the Caregivers to squash in.

Oh, cobblers! In fact…
Oh, Cobblers!
I can’t get owt to eat, and the Amazon batteries for the keyboard haven’t arrived yet! It’s dark and late, and I’m wee’d off with life’s waywardnesses and difficulties.
Still, Chin-up! I suppose!

Took this snap.

Stayed up until 02:00hrs to get this far on the blog.

Then, I made a meal.
Tasty!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
(Carer Israel came earlier)
Got in the bed and went into the bliss of sleep.
No Thought Storming-Steve, no shocks, no tingles, just sweet peace… For an hour! Then…

Frit me, that did! About 04:00hrs.
I had no option other than to clamber hastily out of bed and hobble around in case of a fire. It was this flat’s alarm, so I looked around everywhere. At one point, the long nocturnal catheter and tube got stuck as I meandered around the flat. Poor Little Inchie took the brunt of the pain as the tube jerked. That was the end of my night’s (Hour-long) sleep.
I stayed up and did my ablutions.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Cheers!

Aptronym Inchy: Tuesday 17th September 2024

/ Inchie / 9 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
They like easy targets, a little like Keir Starmer does!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Uggle-spit! Even writing the name of lying by omission of the Labour Prime Minister. A power-seeking oligarch, top-rating expenses, worker-hating, pensioner despising, and let’s renegotiate with the E.U., Starmer makes me want to puke. Rents, rates, insurance, food and power have or are about to go up, with Keir-the-Pensioner-Killer agreeing to the price increases. Naturally, he doesn’t want to knock the high earners; they are his financial backers from the election. He would not have won if not for the utter ineptitude of the Tory Party in the first place. Shame they kicked Boris out; it’s been downhill for them ever since they did. Yes, he was a bit of Jack-the-Lad, but he knew what the people wanted and needed. 
I think I may buy him some clothes for his first anniversary as the UK’s first pensioner-killer? So, now we have to suffer, struggle and die with Starmer’s tax increases and blaming the Tories for everything he puts up, increases, and lines his own pockets backhander-wise, and continues with his lies about the Labour Party’s underhand, misleading schemes, ploys, poisoning of honesty, and plans. Don’t think his self-greediness, covetousness, cruelty, rapacity, pleonexia, and money-grabbing from the poor, others me! I think I may have gotten carried away there. Sorry.

I got up at 06:00hrs. Fumbled my way out of the bed and emptied the nocturnal catheter pouch in the wet room. I decided to get the ablutions done while in there.
Another reversal in the Porcelain Throne evacuation style. Constipation Conrad had returned. What a battle it was!
A mass of concrete meatball-sized content plopped out, so slowly, followed by a few more. Then more. I was well-relieved when they’d finished. As I stood up to clean and wash my rear end, I had to get down on the seat again, sharpish. I went through the agony of the creeping-out meatballs starting again! I’m not happy about this.

I had a stand-up job today. With yesterday’s showering going so well, weighed against my famously rancid good luck, I thought it would be safer. I did the teeth. I took a shave (four little cuts, one bad one). It took me about twenty minutes to medicate. And then I forgot the Acne and Excema cream on the neck. Tsk! Did it later.
I put on David’s multicoloured smock and went to get the kettle on. I was about to take a photo of the late-morning view when the intercom rang. It was the J Sainsbury order that I’d forgotten was coming. No more this week; I’ve got an Iceland order done for next Tuesday, though.

I was pleased to see they had packed the goods into bags today. I got them into the kitchenette and started to pack them away. 
The first carrier was a mixed bag: a toothbrush, a bottle of Lloyd Grossman sauce, and a large kitchen towel. I put the bottles of tonic water on the floor with the others. A bigger bag had meat pits, vegetarian slices, a lamb patti, Flora No-Butter, butter, Lemon desserts, tomatoes, and a red onion. Oh, and a Melton Mowery pork pie. Next bag; Jars of meat, pot noodles, pickled beetroot, Korean BBQ sauce (I can’t recall ordering that), a large pot of orange jelly, and cheapo mini cake rolls, cream & strawberry. I felt sure I’d resisted getting them when I was ordering? 
The fridge still had room after I’d loaded the fodder into it. That’s unusual, to say the least. I soon found the JS out of stock on some items that would have gone in the fridge or freezer: three Milk Roll loaves, two podded fresh peas, and one spreadable No-Butter butter tub. Ah, well! The main item on the delivery was the ‘Pot-of-Meat’ with jelly. Mmm! I admit it looks disgusting and smells similar too. But it tastes gorgeous! I got three jars in just in case Starmer upsets his backers and puts the price up more… again!

I got on with updating yesterday’s blog. A slow job with all these interruptions that are on the way. Then, for the first time today,  kicked off. Very short ones at first. 

Carer Richard arrived. He was not in good shape at the end of his shift. His legs were giving him hell. Poor lad. I didn’t ask him to put the diabetic socks on for me. The bending that offers me the Dizzies just gives Richard pure agony! We’ve both got Diabetes, me 2, but Richards are a full-blown level one.
He issued the medications and checked the medical stock.
I must remember today to ask a carer to call the District Nurses so that I can order some more day and night catheter bags... of course, I forgot all about doing so.

were getting more frequent and lasting longer, the odd one seemed a smidge deeper, too. When I arrived, I thought I was in a bit of a state. Verbally and in a sense, I got angry with myself as I tried to ask her to phone the District Nurses about the pouches. It may have come out wrongly. I talked a lot, I couldn’t recall what about?

Carer Chris called.

Amazon orders arrived.
I must cut down on spending!
Chris helped me sort the old-fashioned, dated clock and dare thingy and got it working okay.
The health wristlet arrived.
And the costliest was this Poncho.

Suddenly, I felt so tired.
Had a snack and got my head down.
Zzz.

TTFNski!

Absurdismismistic Inchy: Monday 16th September 2024

/ Inchie / 9 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

A totally different day today.
Many ailments went on strike.
But not Back-Pain-Brenda, Balance-Bending-Belinda, or Dizzy Dennis. These three made the day as bad as the others with their persistence and Inchy-hating habits!

The night bag of urine was terribly dark again.
The BP was an astonishing 159/75!

As I was taking this pathetic shot of the view…
My innards gave out a blast like I’ve never known before.  
I felt sure that a wet, messy evacuation was due.

I was so wrong!
I squatted for what seemed to me an hour, trying to get the evacuation to start. Painfully, too! Nothing!

Started on the blog catching up.
Went to make a brew, and I tried again to take a shot…
Ah, This one was better.

Carer Richard arrived; he was back on the crutch again. He sorted and issued the medications and then checked on the medication stocks. 

Blog progress was plodding.

Carer Chloe came. She helped me with the Liberty-Global fibre TV, which I could not get to come on. ‘No Signal’ messages each time I tried. She pointed out what needed doing and wrote it down for tonight. Thanks, Chloe!

My second windy blast extruded from the rear end… I made my way to the Porcelain Throne again. I spent a day or two doing my best, but no action! Gave up again!
Had a wash & shave
and readjusted the day pouch’s bag. I went into a Smug Mode momentarily.
Just look at that on the left. No shaking, no fizzes when I bent down… Incredible as this was, I considered the possibility that I’d snuffed it without realising. Hehehe!

I went back to the computer and used CorelDraw. I got a call from Sister Jane, which was lovely. When I returned to the computer an hour later, Dizzy Dennis was back, joined by Back-Pain-Brenda, and misery overcame me. No depression. I took a painkiller as Brenda was vicious with it now, and as I took the Codeine, Toothache Tiffany put her oar into the equation. Luckily, I had a new pot of the £599.00 per 100 ml Toothache pain relief spray. I didn’t spare any. A good spray was applied to all the offending teeth, and after 15 minutes, the pain lessened to a capable level.

When emptying the catheter day pouch again, the colour concerned me somewhat. As a rule, by midday, the shade gets lighter, but not today.

I wondered, well, hobbled into the balcony for a look around. 
It was not raining then, yet a little mudslide appeared at the end of the car park.

I took a snap straight ahead.
I thought I heard the door chime. No one came in, so I grabbed Metal Mickey, the four-pronged walking stick, and approached the front door. Nobody was there, so I returned to the front room…  
I discovered that in my haste to get to the door, in case it might have been the TV licencing bullies at the door, I’d knocked over a bottle of partially drunk soda water. The cap had dislodged, and I had a mini-lake sinking into the carpet!
Now, the depression started! I thought the day had started too well for me.
I cursed a little as I dried the carpet as best I could. Another hour of the day lost. Harrumph!

The sun came out momentarily. I grabbed the Kodak, went into the kitchenette, and took what I thought would be a decent photograph of the Sun.
As you can see, I got it wrong again! This new Kodak doesn’t like the sun ashing at it. I can’t find a red-spot reduction option to turn on anywhere in the camera.

Carer Promise arrived. I was looking at clocks with a date, time, and day showing on them when Precious called. I’d just found one that ran on batteries. He said he could set it up for me when he called again. Thanks, mate!
So, I ordered one from Amazon.

I took a break from getting nowhere fast with this blog and took this snap of the left balcony window. It’s not too bad this time.

I looked up what to expect from the enforcement officer’s arrival. This is what I found out. I tried to make a funny graphic as a header for a laugh.

Carer Promise did his last call. He’s off for a few days now. A nice lad.

22:00hrs: Worn out, hoping Toothache Tiffany leaves me alone. I’m going to get summat to eat now.

A cold, no-cooking meal for Inchy tonight.
Vinegar crisps, beetroot, tomatoes, onions, pork loin sarnies with ultra-tasty No-Butter butter.

Followed by a pot of Oikos lemon yoghourt.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –.
Cheers, Each, thanks.

Abessive Inchy: Sunday 15th September 2024

/ Inchie / 11 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – NOT ME – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
BONUS CARTOONS
I LOVE THESE!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Nocturnal Urine, too dark again.

Must get the quilt washed somehow.

Blue morning.

Constipation this time. Tsk!

The hook slipped off of the shower curtain again this morning. I couldn’t reach up to put it back on.
Another mess, water sprayed all over.

Rain again.

Late nosh. Not so good.

Series of late afternoon shots of the sky.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
We’ve gone beyond reality...
Architectonically…

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TaTa for now
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Plantivorous Inchy: Saturday 14th September 2024

/ Inchie / 12 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Next to muffin on today’s blog.
I’m sorry, but I also made a good start to the day! I did the header cartoon and accompanying graphics, then got on with the ode. It was a late start due to a messy and bloody visit to the Porcelain Throne. Then, back to the Odeing. 
Then, around midday, I found…
I left the tap running and was forced to abandon the blog to get things cleaned and dried where possible.
I spent an estimated four hours cleaning the wet room and the hallway carpet. There are hardly any photos from the day.
When I finally returned to the computer, I nipped to the kitchen to take some snaps. None are very good, but I’ll post them anyway. Worra Day. AGAIN! Sorry!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
A nice full pouch this morning.

First trip to take snaps.

Not unlike noodles.

I made a brew later and took this one.

OF THE WEEK
A work of Farcical-Art to match the best!
I dropped a knife I was using to free the drain in the wet room floor. It got stuck in the siding, so I used the picker-upper to retrieve it. It slipped from the gripper and shot right through the shower curtain, hitting a bottle of bleach, which started leaking. That became my first priority, so I put it in the washing basin and cleaned the spillage using several rolls of kitchen towels. I got the water moving again down the drain. A moment of stupid smugness was short-lived. I went to sort the bleach bottle in the sink and realised I’d left the catheter pouch in their soaking, ready to clean it. It had dissolved into bits in the sink, and the plug-hole was now blocked!
I didn’t cry, despite wanting to!
I turned to get the mop bucket and trod on the knife that had fallen from the floor cabinet where I had left it. 
I didn’t cry, despite wanting to!

Cleaning up done.

I took the above, as Carer Christopher returned.

He sorted the medications, checked the catheter, and changed the bag for me. He also had a quick look at the Kodak that was playing up. Thank you!

Late now; going to get some food.
I should be back in the morning,
Very tasty!

Liberty-Global TV was down again!
Still, they have to reduce service so they can pay Mr Fries his total compensation earnings of $62m.
Jealous? Me? YES!

Evening shots.
From the kitchen window.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

TTFNski!

Stressed-Out Again Inchy: Thurs 12th Sept 2024

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I woke up, checked, and removed the nocturnal catheter pouch from the day bag. I was eager to get going with the ablutioning. I seemed to be avoiding the usual morning depression today.  That’s good for me! As I pottered about getting the things ready to visit the wetroom, wind emitted from the rear end. So, sharpishly, I traipsed into the wet room to use the Porcelain Throne. It soon became obvious that yesterday’s Trotsky Terence affair was a one-off. I took this photo as the morning sunshine caught the General Hospital. It was captivatingly pretty, I thought.

I was smiling when I sat down. But no amount of urgings and pain would get things moving. So, I gave up, washed my hands, and decided to bet the ablutions after the first Carers visit. As I got into the kitchen, Carer Chris arrived. He got the medications sorted and my socks on. We had a short natter, not that we understand each other, accents and deafness on my behalf. Chris went on his way.

I began taking the things for showering and shaving into the wetroom, and as I opened the door…

It’s frightening how quickly one’s outlook on life can change. Depression can come on instantly and rapidly, followed by self-critical, lambasting thoughts and the desire to spit! I was so annoyed with myself for leaving the damned tap on to run cold. I felt I was physically shaking, I don’t think I was, but it certainly felt like it. I should have blamed 
They seem to enjoy their brain-battering battles to see who can make my life more rotten. I’m now trying to blame them, but I just can’t help it when something distracts me or I get two things simultaneously.
Looking back at my jobs with Tesco, the co-op, and security, I realised that many things simultaneously needed attention. Yet I seem to recall coping well with the incidents back then. In fact, I was the one other people came to for help, and I got it. The anger turned to self-pity and sadness. But I’d sooner have than than the depressions. Well, maybe not really; the guilt of whatever I do that goes wrong also gets to me. Embarrassment and shame are always lingering dangerously for my mental health in the shadows.

I’ve tried to pass at the Porcelain Thrown 3 times until now (16:15hrs), but I have had no success. Blood and pain, yes! Hehe! Luck, well, good luck is an alien to me.
Bad luck; A constant late-life disciple of Lucifer.

Carer Sham midday. In a rush, but she still emptied the catheter for me. I had filled up rather quickly, but I’d not noticed it. (Fancy that, me not noticing something, Hahaha) Thank you, Sham. ♥

I eventually got on with the blogging. And, dare I say it, I was doing well. That was a fatal thing for me to be thinking! (Worrying that was)

The keyboard stopped working while typing. The light on the keyboard was still lit up. The mouse was still working.
The depression that turned into shame came back. No self-anger this time, just pure frustration and fed-uppers with my rotten luck. Not being technically capable, I investigated the situation. What to try, so all my limited abilities turned to solving the issue. 
① I changed the batteries in the keyboard. Rebooted the computer –  No, that didn’t work. 
② Made sure the sender in the USB port was fully in.
No, that didn’t work.
③ I gave up on the keyboard and threw it on the recliner. Keep the pain-givers together. Then, why didn’t I realise it sooner? I realised I’d got a new keyboard I bought ages ago, so I decided to try to set it up.  
④ Getting it out of the box was a work of art and must have taken me about ten minutes of struggling. Now, how do I set it up. I investigate the new keyboard further.
⑤ It was a bit of another struggle for me to get the battery hinge off. Fancy that!) Then, I saw it took AAA batteries, not the AA ones I have lots of in the flat!
⑥ Then a stroke of luck. (Worrying that was).
I found that the batteries were inside the computer!
⑦ I put the keyboard dongle in the USB port. Took out the old one. And rebooted the computer.
⑧ I bothered me that it was working. Then I got a Windows message telling me it had been successfully loaded, so I opened WordPress. And would you believe it…
HURRAH! It worked!
Of course, it had cost me two and a half hours to get it to work. But working it is! YeeHaa!

Now, to get the photos of the day on the blog. 
I went to put the kettle on, and Carer Chris called.
He took some photos on the spare camera and changed the settings so that it clicked when a shot was taken. 
He did it all so quickly for me, too. Bless Him!

No shower again; the hot water was not hot enough.

After putting the photos together, I found the one I thought I’d forgotten to take of yesterday’s meal: caramelised sausages, fresh peas, tomatoes, beetroot & red onions. Early evening sky, Bootiful!

I was going to turn on the TV to watch ‘Heartbeat’ while continuing the blog.

I could not find the remote control!
I got the torch and looked underneath the dilapidated, breaking up, partially doored, second-hand bought Hopewell’s E-plan cabinet, with 7 drawers, of which two are still working, hoping to find that the remote had fallen and slid underneath it. I found pens, a pencil, and dried-rock-solid fresh peas. Along with a 1960 Scan Security Certificate of Merit, training courses passed, and two of the missing Health Alert wristbands… along with an old laptop, four AA batteries and an old pair of glasses in a case. But, no remote!
I then searched almost everywhere: the junk room, hallway, wet room, and Kitchen. I even looked on the balcony. But no remote was found.

Then I foolishly tackled moving the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. Moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-filthied, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. I couldn’t get down to look underneath, as the last time I tried, I could not get up again.

So, hauling it around, inches at a time, in the small space it stood in was the only option.
I hoovered as I went along to reduce the mountain of dust, more rock-solid garden peas, more pens, and yet another mystery: three packets of French Fries with a sell-by date of February 2020. Ahem! This made me feel so guilty.
I nudged the chair a little more and…
Saw a corner of the remote control sticking out. 
Got the bugger! But as I bent down to pull it clear, Back-Pain-Brenda and Dizzy Dennis kicked off, and with the physical jerks, I’d tangled the catheter pouch strappings that needed sorting out. I was not in good shape and left the chair all askew, and I got on the computer to make this rather sad report for my multitude of blog followers. I hope they can both see the funny side. 
I could, even in such pain. Hahaha! Carer Chris is coming later, I’ll beg him to help me get the recliner back in position. It’s up against the bed at the moment. And I’ll ask him for extra Codeine. I missed one earlier, so it should be okay, I am allowed up to four a day.

Carer Chris turned up, looking a little tired. I told him of the farce with the remote-searching mess, and he quickly put the recliner back in position for me. 
I was still a little ‘out of it,’ Chris picked up on this. Thanks to him, I got the nocturnal pouch fitted, the diabetic socks removed, and a Codeine given. He also took the waste bags on his way out. Thanks, Chris!

I will get something to eat now. But I’ll not cook in this tired and confused state, and dragging or carrying the nocturnal bag around is too risky! I’ve got some chicken and fresh peas in the fridge. I’ll have a pot of instant potato with them. I won’t look good or be fine dining, but I must eat, and I’ll pray that the ailments let me rest and recuperate for once. Then in the early morning, I must get a good shower and shave. Please let me wake up early!
But first, please let me get some sleep! I don’t know who I’m talking to; it’s out of desperation.

Please give me a break tonight. I have Back-Pain-Brenda, Sherida’s Electrical Shocks, Dizzy Dennis, Cartilage Chloe & Carole, Anne Gyna, & other ailments.
That should do it. Hahaha!


Confused and tired, I made the no-cooking meal. No problem with the trailing 4ft nocturnal extension tube & pouch.

After washing the pots, I took five shots of the early-morning views from the kitchen. This is the only one that came out reasonably.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I settled in the £300 second-hand shop recliner I purchased in 1966, which caused welts, was uncomfortable, did not work, was itch-inspirational, and contained crumbs.
I was intending to watch a recorded episode of ‘Heartbeat’. Soon, I was with Sweet Morpheus for two minutes at a time, repeatedly waking up with a jolt.
I gave up the TV idea, and amazingly, or perhaps not. I slowly drifted of back into the land of nod. 
I woke up five hours later, and the door chime rang out when Carer Maryham arrived.

Another day in the life of Inchy Gerald Chambers.
Living Proof that Bad Luck in later life is to be expected. Nae, in his case, is guaranteed.
Without Cogniscent Impairment Iris, Doreen Dementia and all the ailments he’s accrued, life would be so dull.
Dull sounds attractive to him.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFN

Pyogenic Inchy: Wednesday 11th September 2024

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
BUSY DAY TODAY
BUT, VERY LITTLE WAS ACHIEVED.
Conrad Konfusion, violent Dizzy Dennis interruptions, and mini-seizures galore. However, I am pleased to report that Twitching-Neck-Nigel and Electric-Shocking-Sherida were both very kind to me. I still have a problem with my Morning Blood Pressure, though. It was 160 yesterday morning; had it been 161/70, instructions are to call 111 and/or 999 to inform them if the SYS is over 160.  It was close again this A.M. at 158/58. Carer Marie was with me later when I took the second, and it was down to 131/63. Hopefully, this glitch, if that be what it is, will level out.
The cheap food delivery and about eight other tenants’ orders were left down in the foyer. Amazon did it yesterday, and EMri today. Go-Wrongables & Mysteries. Tsk! 
Carer Shaquille helped with the socks, etc. Carer Marie was on a domestic call, and then Carer Kimberley did the lunch at the same time as the financials, which she couldn’t do until someone showed her what needed doing and how to do it. She helped where she could with other things, though, which was lovely. Carer Israel, I got a food order from Ocado. I had a heck of a job getting the stuff in the freezer and had to dish some older stuff to make room. 
Then, there is the farce with the low-cost food order. I’d not have known it was in the Foyer, but Jenny, my saviour, was going out with Frank and called on the intercom when she noticed the [parcels dumped in the lobby by EMri. Thanks a lot, Jenny ❤. I took my box up to the flat with Warden Deana, who took the others to people’s parcels to the flats. Grrr! Amazon! EMri, Grrr! Deana to the rescue. 💕
A mystery water leak as well, Humph!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

From the beginning…
I woke up most unenthusiastically, around 06:00hrs. I just laid there for several minutes, wondering if it was worth getting up. For EQ Quasimodo (New name), the instant I returned to mock-life, “This is going be a bummer, mate!” 
He was right, of course; he always is. I recalcitrantly forced my monstrous, gargantuan-bellied body from the bed. As if to prove EQ Quasimodo was right, I knocked my new spectacles off of the bed tray and bent to reach the nocturnal catheter pouch to remove it. I wondered how much it might cost to get them repaired, as Dizzy Dennis gave me a howler of instability moment – which made me grab the ‘Don’t-fall-out-of-bed bars. Thus, I stubbed my ingrowing toenail on the metal leg stump of the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. I got the pouch off, grabbed Wooden Walking Stick Willie, and needed to visit the Porcelain Throne.
The Day Had Started!
What a mess! Cleaning up me, the porcelain, and including the very-swift, 10-second almost liquid Kharki fluid, then applying the Harold Haemorrhoid ointment. I reckon it took me 15 minutes or more! Then (can this go on?) I caught my shoulder on the door frame as Dizzy Dennis had another go at me.
Care Shaq came and issued the medications, got my socks on for me, and as he was talking to me, a rarity that it’s usually me doing all the nattering and moaning, Hehe! I had a mini seizure, and have no idea what he was saying. I don’t think he noticed, but yes, he must have. He’s a canny lad.
I may have things out of order here, but they all took place. The food order arrived. A big one. I struggled to find room to store it all away. 
The one red onion I ordered was a bag of about nine big ones! Luckily, I got the Milk Roll loaves, a big bag of red potatoes, and some Norwegian-cooked bacon. It looks horrible, but I’ve had it before, and it has a great flavour. I also got six bottles of long-life milk, bleach, yoghourts, and more.
When I finished getting things away, I put the kettle on and started the computer. I returned to the kitchenette to make the brew of Glengettie and saw water on the floor near the window.
I mopped it up with kitchen towels using the Picker-upper-Paul. But could not understand where it came from. I told each carer and showed Marie what I’d done when she came on the domestic call. It saved her mopping the foot anyway. Hehe!
I left some towels where the water may have come from because there were water spots on the window ledge; the ceiling showed no signs of a leak. When I checked later, they were all dry. At first, I thought the catheter might have had a puncture, but it hadn’t. Conrad Konfusion!
Still not started on a blog, I got more seizures, strong ones, and I found myself at the kitchen sink washing out an old flat cap!
I put it on a rack and put the bowl underneath it. I think it should be dry within 6 months or so. I’ll go and check it now (nine hours later). Hahaha! The wet can be seen as it sinks down, and dirty water is in the bowl. I think I’ll have to wash it again.

The DVT Anticoagulation Warfarin Nurse called to take my blood. In and out like a shot she was. Leaving blood pouring out from under the tiny plaster and a tiny bruise. That doesn’t happen usually, not for a year or more.
Aha, a spot of rain with the sunshine. Such beautiful clouds for me to view. But it was changeable throughout the afternoon. I should have said earlier that Carer Kimberley cleaned my wound. But my getting in a mix-up chronological does not help with the clarity or lack thereof.
It felt like minutes later, I was on the balcony again with the Kodak taking… no, the cheapo camera, taking shots after the drizzle had stopped. Well, the rain kicked off again.
So, I poddled with Micky, the four-pronged walking stick, out into the balcony.
I started to take this series of photos of the rain through the windows in different directions.

I honestly cannot remember taking these pictures.
How did I manage to take these snaps?
Why didn’t I lose my balance and tumble on or over the running boards?

How did I not remember?

I think that most of the time out there, I was pondering over the dream’s events?

How did I recall it all so vividly? This event was the mystery of the day for me.
I started this blog very late. It seems like it’s going to be another working into the morning job.
I came in and back on with the blog. I went to empty the pouch contents into the jug and to the restroom to empty, clean, and disinfect the jug. I had another mini out-of-it. I’m sure I sat on the loo for a while. It only lasted a few minutes, and when I came out, boy, the skies had changed.
The sun burst through! The sky brightened, the clouds dissipated, and sunshine got through! 
The seizures diminished, just the odd mini one. I set to work again, trying to catch up on this blog.

After Carer Victor’s last call, I went to look at the vast choice of food I could have later.

I took these shots on the right to capture the change in view.

Then I was off to the kitchen to see what was to be done foodwise. I decided on a salad with some chips. Maybe! 

I’m not a good decider or decision-maker nowadays.
What day is it?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
May Contentment Enfold You! TTFN.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Phlogogenetic Inchy: Tuesday 10th September 2024

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

TOP OF THE MORNING!

I got my head down last night, about 01:00hrs. I woke up at 01:15hrs. Nodded off again, waking up with an streaking up my right leg that nearly me nudged out of the bed. I’m sure I heard a buzzing coming from the leg and bottom! Luckily, I hit my head on the anti-fall bar. But sleep was out of the question. 
I tried, but the shocks were coming so often I gave up and went on the computer. Once on there, the shocks stopped. But I was concentrating on just for once, getting the blog finished earlier, sooner, quicker. When I eventually realised that they were no longer coming, well, the odd one now and then, it was too late to get back in bed cause the carer would be here in a couple of hours. So, I decided to get the ablutions done. No showering; the noise from the drain would wake those below me up. I extracted the nocturnal pouch from the catheter. The shocks had at least made me pass more wee-wee. Hahaha! Expecting reluctance from Constipation Conrad, I got in the wet room and picked up the crossword book. It wasn’t needed or used. Tsk! I casually but carefully got the PPs off and sat on the plastic seat.
Well, no torpedoes today; there was no doubt that Trotsky Terence had regained command of things rear-end-wise. The porcelain filled up with what looked like Oxo cubes, but Kharki, not brown, and many of them.
Getting cleaned up, washing the lower regions, and then getting the fresh PPs on was as difficult and painful as ever. It took me so long that I feared the Carer’s time was coming, so I rushed the shaving and body wash. The same goes for medications. The results were four shaving nicks and one deep cut. A stubbed toe – miraculously, I didn’t knock the ingrowing toenail! Also, I forgot to do the teeth. I got a long Kaghoule on and went into the kitchen, fancying a mug of Glengettie. 
I took these photos, although they were not good ones, of the morning view. I went to turn on the computer, but I got distracted by the noise from the baby alarm in the hallway. I never made the brew!
It was some mail that made the noise I heard. I was not in such a good mood then. A damned depression came on instantly as I realised the things I needed help with sorting for the letters. HMG sent three of them! (TV licence), the bank (2) and an unopened one after the shock of the first few. As I got on the computer, a barrage of painful… well, no, they just made me jump, but this time went on and on at me. This encouraged me to look up the cause of these shocks on the computer and find out if there was any help. There are some sites in America, but not the NHS. I spent far too long looking this up. The Carer arrived relatively late, not that it mattered. I mentioned the problem of the shocks, and she tried to help me with a problem from XL. Carer Sham, it was a nice gal. When she left, she took the laundry bag with her. I’m surprised I remembered that. Haha! 
I did a search and copied some information that I found.

Phytoestrogens?
But it informed me what I should eat and drink to help.
Soya beans & chickpeas, yes, I eat them two.
Flax – What’s that?
Broccoli berries have been barred for me by the cardiac team. 
It is too high in vitamin K. Tea is limited to two cups daily by Urology.

Advice: to keep moving. I’m bending down all day, emptying the catheter bag.
Cut out beer and nicotine. I did that in 1975. Eat Omega, found in fish. Last month I bought some smoked haddock, and very nice it was, but it was only a half fillet, & cost me over £6!
So, it seems that when they throw my cadaver in the fire on my way to St Peter’s gate, there might be more sparks and flames than there usually are? I must warn the crematoria. Hehehe!

We had a drop of rain this afternoon to teatime.
I got the Kodak out and took these three view shots into the balcony.
The rain didn’t last long… Sounds like something the wife used to say to me. Haha! 

I turned the oven on to heat up. I’d forgotten about the fresh beer-battered chips in the fridge. They are labelled “Use by yesterday,” but I’ll risk it. And a ready-made Shepherd’s Pie with a root vegetable potato topping. I made the nosh. It has a delightful flavour.
I ate it slowly and savoured every mouthful.

The evening view was one of those ‘everything-had-brown’ in it. Great!
I fell asleep in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFN