– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I’d like my annihilation of Starmer to be true,
Absolute, painful, embarrassing & thorough,
I’ll not use a gun, a knife or thumbscrew…
But when he crumbles, this is long overdue
His actions reveal he’s a true-blue,
A Barrister seeking power, a well-to-do,
His defeat or death would be my Xanadu,
No details, this Ode is but an aperçu,
He’s more an oligarch, with no affettuoso,
We cannot rid ourselves of him impromptu,
We know how to work out what we need to do,
But I’ll do my best for you, toodeloo!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Good Morning, Afternoon or Evening

I am not placing any… well, just a few photos below, to see if this stops them disappearing when folks view the blog. Had a lot of them recently. Grrr! And I haven’t the foggiest idea why.

It was even harder to force myself out of bed this morning than it was yesterday. Summat wrong here. I’ve always been a morning sort of bloke.
I woke around 04:00hrs. And thought I’ll beat this unknown morning drowsiness, and get up now. My determination was strong & decisive. ZZZ!
Then I woke again at 06:30hrs. I whipped back the quilt and checked the night catheter bag. ZZZ!
Another waking at 0645hrs. I forced myself through sheer determination to rise: Okay, the truth is I felt the rear trap-door gurgling and a lot of wind escaping. That was enough; the fear of another not getting to the Porcelain Throne on time encouraged me. I was still sitting there, awaiting the torrent to stop as the door chime rang, and Ejaz came in. He shouted out, ‘Are you alright, Gerry?’ Just be a minute, I replied. But of course, with all the cleaning up of the spurted mess, it took me much longer. 
Ejaz carried out a body check and applied barrier cream to three areas (back, groin and belly). Foamed the lower part of my left leg, which was getting a little worse, with crocodile red skin patches. Then he Phorpained the left knee all the way around to help with the knee fractures, Arthur Itis, and Catheter Chloe. He colour-rated the urine and emptied the pouch for me. Medications were issued, and Peptac was taken. He then sprayed the eyes with Blether cream and the dry eyes spray. For the last task, he did the Health Checks with me and ensured that they were appropriately recorded on the graph. Both of today’s BP readings were on a HIGH level. Which was acceptable to me cause they followed a HYPER & HIGHER ones from Monday & Tuesday.

Inevitably, when I got on the computer, Ape-Shit describes the events. It would not let me open Google from the icon, or from the Control thingy. 
Total frustration!
I closed down CorelDraw and gave up.

I was at the end of my tether. Every day this happens. The battle to do the graphics, an Ode, and the HC chart is getting overwhelming, not to mention tackling the rest of the blog.
For a few minutes, I was lost in hatred of my accursed, lousy luck and the impossibility of getting any help. Boy, was I feeling down and out.
Can’t remember ever being this depressed.
Then, I just wandered into the kitchen, not really knowing why, and took some snaps of the view.

Straight ahead…
Then slightly to the left.

I think that maybe I’d resigned myself to the situation without realising it.

I won’t lose any memory or time in putting any of the others on. Bear in mind how low I was.

I returned to the computer after a good while, almost thoughtlessly looking out of the kitchen window, fearing the worst with the damned computer. I think I tried to tell myself that I knew this would happen eventually – no computer, no blog, no email, no ordering food (but that bit was great!).
Could I live without it?

I reluctantly got back to the desk, convinced this was the end, the finish, the death of the computer… Now, had it been Starmer who died, I could live with and possibly celebrate that. Hehehe!

A partial saving grace was when I got the computer back on. Fair enough, Google would still not open, but I tried opening Firefox, and it did! Of course, I could not get to or remember all the Google-saved passwords. So, still could not get into WordPress.
I got on Google from the icon, but it wanted passwords, verification, etc..

A strange inspiration came over me, and I told the computer my problem, asking what I could do to correct it. Unfortunately, I’m not a Computer specialist, a computer technician, a computer software or hardware engineer, a computer scientist, or a computer guru. I think that the collection, as mentioned earlier, might have understood what the advice meant for me and how to implement it collectively. A few of the eighty tips from the site’s advice I was brave enough to try.
But only the ones where I knew I could cancel or remove after they failed. And they did. Not only that, but I was getting more het-up again.
Three hours later, I was again at the point of giving up. Ejaz did a quick call but didn’t understand what I was telling him, and I couldn’t figure out what else I could try. Thanked Ejaz and off he went.
I seem to recall that the last gasp chance would be to close everything, give it a few minutes, and restart, as I did yesterday to get CorelDraw’s problems sorted. This would be about 13:40hrs.

I had no idea it had taken place, but it was confirmed when I came back to reality, with the acidic, horrible-tasting, and smelly gust of wind that came up into my mouth. I thought I had had a mini-seizure; they are the ones that usually have the acid after them. But the after effects were scary this time. I could not get up for a good few minutes. It felt like the room and I were swaying in different directions. I made sure I stayed where I was in the chair. I did not risk standing or walking until things had cleared in my head. Which took ages. While waiting, I made sure I hadn’t been on the computer and caused a mess of anything. I realised I must have been out of it for over an hour. The door chimed, and in walked my ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress Warden, and Primo Ballerina, Warden Deana. She had only called to do a Lifeline wristlet check with the NCC controller, which she did first thing. I must have looked and sounded a little odd after the Seizure.
I told her briefly of events and problems I was having.
She asked if I was ready to go into a home yet. I replied, I think it’s inevitable. Because I’m struggling to get help, doing everyday tasks is getting harder and longer. I told her of the farce of ending up with two chairs, but can’t afford a Carer to take me out. And can’t get help with making the self-propelled one safe to use. I can’t get help with the dwindling finances.
Bless her, she looked at a wheelchair for me.
I mentioned that while she was trying to work out how to get footplates on. When I was in the hospital, a social worker said they would see if they could get me help with my finances. A Red Cross person said they would know if they could provide some help. The team included a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist, a representative of Age UK, and a member of the Falls Team. But no one has contacted me. And mentioned the problem with trying to arrange lifts to hospital appointments. Deana (What an Angel) asked for the appointment letters for next Wednesday with the orthopaedic surgeon. Deana rang them there and then. She arranged for a lift each way. This temporarily helped my lack of faith and prompted a visit. 🌺 THANK YOU DEANA 🌺

NOSH
I ate well, at least. (Slurp-gobble)

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Do I require a verbal fumigant?
Some control over the money I’ve spent?
Why do I think Starmer is graveolent?
Why in 1963 did I start going glabrescent?
Get so angry, almost incandescent…
With oligarchs, politicians, well, Starmer, I meant,
I know the end of the world is impendent,
Feel I’m in confinement, immurement?
Once I was an individualist, a free-thinker,
As a child, I was a little tinker…
Things changed as I grew older…
Catheter due to my poor bladder,
Bladder infection, turned out to be Cancer,
Now I’ve almost constant diarrhorea,
People tell me I’m a bit of a stinker,
Now I’m a sceptic, like Agrippa,
Physical and mental problems,
My last tumble, that was in September…
Fractured bones in my knee, wrist and finger!
In the hospital, for three weeks I did linger,
In which I had many a seizure, saw a neurologist,
X-rays, cardiac, geriatrics, orthopaedics, bed baths,
Appointment made to see a neuropsychiatrist,
Waiting for an appointment for the laparoscopist,
The hospital was all busy, busy, very little rest…
Under pressure, the medics did their best,
Warden Deana came to see me. She is the loveliest,
She arranged a lift & from the orthopaedic surgery,
Nurse, due for checking on my leg’s Lymphorrhea Leslie,
But Leslie is coming back on the left leg, so, itchingly!
Something is better, though – my eczema and acne!
But a returning ailment is Toothache-Tiffany!
It doesn’t bode well, you may agree…
Adding the mental confusion and argie-bargie…
It looks like it’ll have to be a care home for Inchie,
I speak predictively, presciently, and anticipatorily,
This is going to happen, it’s not quixotry,
I’ll take my loathing & hatred for Starmer with me!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Mud Gorning!
Again this morning, I woke up in a much better frame of mind and with fewer active ailments. I’m assuming the course of the  Penicillin tablets, which ended last night, had a hand in things. Still feeling tired, but that is nothing unusual over the previous week. I had to force myself to get up until 06:35hrs. After waking up at various times and thinking, at 04:30, I thought, well. If I get up now, I can get the abltions sorted. Zzzz!
04:40; I really ought to get up and make use of the Porcelain Throne… Zzzz!
05:05hrs: I could well have an unplanned rear-end evacuation if I don’t get up. Zzzz!
05:20hrs: Panic Flap, nearly had myself over twice, and clouted Shaking Shoulder Shirley on the edge of the wet room door, and scrambled my dressing gown of ASAP… I made it, but with nothing to spare time-wise, of course, it was a Trotsky Terence affair again. I distinctly recall thinking, ‘Well, at least that got me to get up at last.’ 
0532hrs: I returned to the front room and sat in the £300 second-hand shop-bought c1966. Moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner, to take of the Night Catheter pouch.
Zzzz!
05:55hrs. I stirred amb verbally lambasted myself. I really must get up, I’ve got an order coming from 06:30hrs. Zzzz!
06:25, Woke and begrudgingly forced myself back up.
I don’t know how I managed it, but missing the food delivery possibly played a part; it was due between 06:30 and 07:00hrs. 
No sooner had I got the night bag of than I felt the dripping out movement from the rear end!
!
To make things all the more painful, yet again rushing hobblingly through the wet room door, I clouted .
Things took a nasty turn, messy-wise. As I had a hold of the pants to rip them off, let rip with a wet, gooey torrent of innards contents.
At that moment, I thought I heard the intercom sound. Panic, I do not want to miss the delivery, and it might have been the nurse from the DVT Warfarin Clinic who came to take my blood, but how do I get to the panel in the hallway in time, in the state I was in? 
Thankfully, when I opened the door and looked across to the unlit hallway, I could not see a light on the panel. So at least I kept the treading of phoo within the wet room, but was still worried in case anyone came while I was in the motion of cleaning myself, the floor, the porcelain and searching for hidden bloblets anywhere in the wet room, up.
I think I used three rolls of kitchen towels and the same number of rolls of toilet paper. And it’s not seven o’clock yet!
I got a good wash, but I dare not turn the convector wall heater on because it’s rather noisy. It would reduce my chances of hearing if, as often happens, people knock on the door and do not use the buzzer thingamajig.
I don’t need to tell you how ashamed I felt.
After cleaning up, I checked the mobile for any messages and got the computer to do the same with the Emails that may have come in while I was cleaning myself and the wet room.
I found an Email from J Sainsbury. Three items were not available, but I didn’t mind that. But they had sent an expensive, ready-to-cook potato meal with a one-day shelf life. I must remember to send it back.

I started on the blog update for yesterday. And had to rush back to the Porcelain Throne! Got there in time more easily this visit. A good job too; the motion was a sort of Whoosh! and all over, splattering the porcelain and my bottom and legs.
Went to wash myself and found I’d left the hot tap on, so it was running cold!
WHAT the Heck NEXT?
Well, I’ll tell yous…
Carer Ejaz arrived, and he couldn’t seem to grasp my tale of woe I was giving me. But I imagine I was a bit uptight about the situations suffered, so I may have been talking too fast.
Before he could do anything medically, the ‘Oh, Susana’ tune came from the intercom. It was the Sainsbury delivery. Ejaz carried the stuff into the kitchenette, loose and put it on the floor. I mentioned I would have difficulty bending down to pick them up, so I leave all the carrier bags near the door to put them into the delivery boxes. No hint of criticism in my voice, after all, the lad was trying to help me.
I remembered the potato meal and asked him to return it to the driver for me. Which he did, bless his cotton socks. So, I had loose food in the kitchen, hallway and front room to sort out when Ejaz left, and he had’t had a chance to do the medicines or medicating, and running out of time. Which I fully understood. He checked that the DC returns matched. Issued the medications, and had a look at my Google Email problem, the tabs had disappeared of the screen. He had to shoot off to get the bus to his next call, and I thanked him most muchly. 

I had a go at getting the tabs back on Email, but gave up when I remembered the food in the hallway & kitchen needed sorting. I got them away somehow. Anywhere there was room, it was a right mess, just like the kitchen and front room are now. I usually take snaps of them, but after the earlier Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxpas, I was very attentive & concentration was impossible to glean, adopt or use.
I got back on the computer to put the earlier photos I’d taken on CorelDraw to ready them for use.

While checking the SD card, I saw photos of food, assumed they were old, and deleted them. ARGH!

Then, I touched up the few I loaded on CorelDraw, and then went to get two of the small pork pies with pickle to nibble. Ejax was back on his second call now and spotted some short dates on other products in the fridge. He took a waste bag, which was pretty full, with him when he left to the refuge chute for me.
While I was in there, I took a selection of some of the food delivered to post on the blog. Here it is.
I got some potatoes and garden peas in the slow-cooker. I added some vegetable seasoning and a dollop of light Soy sauce. Then, I made up a bottle with spring water, grapefruit cordial, and soda water. Not too strong, but with the soda water added, it tasted a little tart and tangy.

Back to the computer, and got the above photo on. I also realised I’d made yet more .
I’d missed off the three snaps I took earlier of the morning views on offer.
All of these were taken from the balcony, through the glass. This one straight ahead.
To the right, the treetops of my greatly missed visiting tree copse in the bottom field.
Down to the right, the Citrus Grove end car park. Note the little red car on the chevrons?
Looks like the parks department is getting ready to do some work.

The day has almost gone; it’s nearing the Carer’s teatime visit —any minute now.

I’ve just been to check on the potatoes and peas. Tried a few of each – what a gorgeous flavour!

Added some of my favourites
to the biscuit barrel.

Time to get some food sorted now.
A cheap meal, like this, would have been when I first moved into a flat from home. I estimate what the costs might have been; Peas 1/- at most. Cornish Pasties 1/- each. Potatoes 2p. Gravy 2p. Totalling in old money, 2/4p. That’s less than 12½p in today’s dosh. It cost me over £5 today! What percentage increase would this be? (Arithmaphobia)
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
ARRIVEDERCI MON AMI’s

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – Updated with more waffle – – –
I struggle with my mental roaming,
I search, ask, but no one is answering,
But why should they, I say while praying…
I can see my end, advancing…
That’s how it is, no romancing…
I’m not exactly laughing or dancing,
At the thought of my decaying & dying,
To live a long time, I’ve not been relying on anything,
Since starting to take the Amoxicillin…
Toothache Tiffany, the pain she’s still inflicting...
Looking forward to the trephinating….
Remembering, ashamed & self-loathing…
My fractured knee, cuts while shaving…
But the way the computer has been behaving…
Almost got to me, it had me spitting & cursing!
Till a visit came from Community Nursing,
I fell in love as she removed the compression bandaging,
She said I’m doing well; which was very encouraging!
She replaced it with a new one, after medicating,
Then she got me on the bed, things were tingling!
As she began my catheter-contraption removing…
If I’d written these lines correctly, they’d have no rhyming,
The tube from Little Inchie, pain-free, with no hurting, 
She came to the bit, which can tear-bringing!
But not with this gal, I was actually singing…
As she manipulated the tube back into Little Inchy!
It went so well, we laughed jocosely!
Her visit rid me of my jejunity,
I insisted, in thanks, she takes goodies for nibbling,
My thanks, and coffee and cans for drinking.
And some croissants to share with others who are nursing.
Since starting to take the Amoxicillin,
I was good before, but it’s worsening,
I can lose what I’m saying when talking,
Phoning? To whom am I speaking?
My worries are now amalgamating,
Coming together, congealing…
And it’s not a very lovely feeling,
Is this because I took the penicillin?
Concentrating, I need this elucubrating,
Little Inchies’ Fungal Lesion is bleeding,
I’m more edgy about my poor equilibrating,
The days that flash by as if speeding,
Now time flashes by, without my noticing,
My brain that moves so slowly, galumphing,
My knees’ agony when moving or genuflecting,
Aware that I’ll never again be jigajigging,
For months I’ve not yodelled or sung,
My mental & physical state is now larrupting,
Ailments that for a long time have been erupting,
But, enough of this self-prognosticating…
Magic Mushrooms, which gave me psilocin…
Tried them once, they were mind-blowing,
Now water-on-the-brain; a new thing,
This is not psychotomimetic or intoxicating,
For the Trephination operation, I am waiting,
Not looking forward to the trephinating,
But I’m not scared, or in fear, just accepting…
That life has been excruciating and bewildering,
Well, after I started to get old and ageing,
I’ve tried to avoid sinning & vernacularising,
I seeked not exculpationing or validationing,
Now, I start wailing, moaning & whimpering,
Accepting it’s distressing, disturbing, upsetting…
I have irreverent fancies, often witwantoning,
Failing is something I used to find depressing,
With my conscience, I was ever juggling…
Striving for just one chance of winning,
But ended up an expert in failing,
My hopes for a win started deteriorating,
My faith started declining, crumbling,
Then old age and I started decaying…
Physically, the ailments started mounting,
Mental problems, too, were beginning…
Dementia, PN, so many I stopped counting,
As one problem started regressing,
A new one was developing,
The first one started retrogressing,
My hopes were fading, falling & failing,
No longer anxious or troubled, just foreboding,
Accepting my fate, but fulminating,
I soon accepted my losses & forfeiting,
But seeing Starmer as PM is an abomination…
A disgrace, an obscenity, a transgression.
Starmer has a certain air, but no admirability,
He made Tory Mark Harper, into Baron Harper,
He’s a charlatan, deceiver, hoodwinker & liar!
A masquerader, grifter, confidence-trickster,
Is this why he did so well as a barrister?
A double-dealer, hoaxer, swindler, flimflammer,
A back-hander taker, illywhacker & douceur,
I imagine I sound a bit of a derogator?
I mentioned Keir to my electroencephalographer,
One of his worst traits is his hylomania!
His compassion is non-existent, not even minuscule!
I so look forward to his moratoria!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Horrible day!
Apart from the nurse doing my leg bandaging and changing the catheter-contraption, of course.
I fell in love again; I must top this at my age.
CorelDraw and Computer problems again.
Left the hot water tap to run cold again.
Got to the Porcelain Throne too late again. What a mess I made… I blame Trotsky Terence.
Lost the TV remote control. Found it five hours later.
Went down to call on Jenny and Frank. I got off the ninth floor, and for some unknown reason, I inwardly lambasted myself: “You Pratt!” Then went down to the eighth floor, into the small lobby, and realised as soon as I noticed there was no bell-push on the door, that I was on the wrong floor. It was the eighth floor! Still, poor Jenny cannot get up very well, so I didn’t see her, but it was lovely seeing Frank again.
Then Carer Ejaz told me was not doing the last call. Thankfully, he will be here in the morning. I hope.
Ejaz did his best and may have got in trouble for overstaying on his visit; to call the Doctor. He got through after selecting buttons to answer the robot questions. He reached another robot and was 3rd in the queue. He then gave me my mobile to monitor the repeated messages while I called the Audio Centre, which took 20 minutes to get through. Apparently, they will email me. From the first time I called the Doctors, it took 30 minutes to speak to a receptionist, five minutes to explain the problem, and they will send me a text. 
So nothing was achieved. We were both frustrated. Although a stronger word may explain how we felt a little more accurately. 
Did I mention the CorelDraw and Google problems?
There’s no time left if I don’t, so it’s already late.

Photos & Comments
The catheter pouch, before my nurse tended to it.

Morning view.

Forgot why I took this one.

HC equipment. High BP today.

Aha, got some of the Marmite & cheese puffs.

Too many drinkies. Even though
I’m drinking nonstop to help
my bladder pass to the catheter.

So tired, only just changed the date.

Copernicus sausage, Potato Rostis, cooked beetroot, tomatoes & cheesy bread rolls.

= = = = = = = == = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Things are now more of a struggle!
I’m forever in a muddle…
I could do with a cuddle!
= = = = = = = == = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Feeling a little sad for myself there, sorry!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
KCB KC MP, Sir Keir Rodney Starmer, 
Kills pensioners, hates every farmer,
Self-wealth & backhanders he does fancy,
I’ll say any more, I’d lose my abstinency!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Did you notice? I’ve gorra a new Grim Reaper,
He’s not very good, & he’s got Zeusophobia,
The poor git only snuffed it last October,
Our conversation was very soon over…
He only speaks Kosovoan, a war survivor,
He was calling to learn our language proper,
I gleaned all this, not through a natter…
He’s been given details of me, on paper,
No idea how he snuffed it, I’ll find out later,
He knew of my problems with viatica,
I thought at first he meant my sciatica,
If he passes the test, a global Soul-Collector,
He could be a soul-seeking globetrotter,
A low rating; to the UK, to collect Starmer!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
It’s a lot less bothersome this morning. I wasn’t as disoriented when I got up… but that’s not saying a lot (Hehe!) I was still feeling out of it, compared to how things were before the tumble and fractured knee bones.
Anne Gyna has been very kind these last two days. Even Cartilage Chloe has! 
Glacoma Gladys is a bugger today. The brain soon returned to its confused and incoherent state after midday. It was like blinking, and my cognitive abilities faded immediately. Yet minutes before this, I was working on the CorelDraw problem… and got it sorted out on my own .
Then the confusion returned and stayed for the rest of the day .

Photo Gallery from Inchie
Hopefully Chronologically
Maybe the odd oddity…
But… you know me.

Early Morning fog

A Trotsky Terence Evacuation…

I was lucky enough to get there in time.

As I was about to go in, my Carer, Ejaz, turned up.
I told him I’m hoping to get a shower, shave, etc., so we didn’t do any body checks or medicationings. He issued the medications. And off he trotted.

I finished off the Saturday blog and got it posted. Again, I went into a . Then realised I’d not done my ablutionings! So, I did
I did the teggies very carefully. Then had a shave using the new razors, carefully. No cuts, no droppages!
Sprayed the eyes and nasal apertures. Put some olive oil drops in both ear-holes. While using some soap substitutes on my neck, I noticed a new scar on my chin. It looked old, it had dried, crusted. I had caught it with the Cratiscinite applicator, and it bled a smidge. No problem, but there was some confusion. The blood looked really light, like when I was in the hospital and they found the heart failing. It was the same colour, but later, when we did the Health Checks, the results were not bad at all. And the blood count and oxygen levels were good? As I said, confused, but not worried! Why? The arrival out of the blue, of , who spent an hour or so with me. Problems came as usual during that time, and they were not solved. However, the precious ‘Sod-Them-All’ attitude Horis brings me is unbelievable, eerie, yet so welcome —great! I still can’t work out how or why this happens, but I’m just glad that it does visit me now and then.

Then, along came another Porcelain Throne visit. Yet again, had I not been unclothed and standing next to the WC Throne, meaning I got down on it in a few seconds, it shot out like from a hosepipe!
Horis had cheered me up, and I decided to handwash the Khagoule and hung it up to dry in the wet room. It was then that it dawned on me that I had not done the other freshenings & medicationings yet. No cursing or swearing at myself. Usually, these lapses get me really angry with myself, but not this time, I had with me. Most annoyingly, when I got back in the wet room, it was like someone switching off a light or tap; he instantly vanished, with no fading involved.
But it was nice while it lasted! I didn’t medicate any areas I couldn’t reach, because Ejaz said he’d do them on his next call. Then I got the body, feet and aftershave perfumes sprayed on. Hehe!

Back to check if I’d left the tap running in the kitchen, and at last, the fog was beginning to clear somewhat, slowly. 
I got on the computer, and was doing reasonably well, starting the template from scratch… then…
Problems with CoralDraw then, & WP yet again!
I was in the middle of selecting a graphic to amend to use. And the screen went to full size, without any icons showing to restore, minimise or close the frame! All other programmes running in the background were unattainable except when I closed the graphics folder. Awkward!
How or what I did wrong, if anything, I knew not – I also did not know how to get it to condense.
I’m sure, as I could be, that I’d had this problem on CorelDraw before, and felt I’d saved the solution on the CorelDraw Notepad, but no! I searched for Windows, restore-down, full screen, and other options, but nothing was there. I ended up going through all of the notebook pages searching for the same things one at a time. After about an hour, and only about 10% of the way through the sheets, I gave up. And looked at my notepad cover, I sometimes put things like this on it. Nope!
I spent ages searching on Google. But, of course, I couldn’t get the right question to get an answer.
Despair and frustration were growing; I thought it was my best bet to wait until Elaz returns.
Yet I kept on trying, again and again.
Eventually, when I put Windows 10 into the equation, I mean, question—the first one on the list was telling me to go into my (unheard of, not known) to change instructions on three areas… I’ve no idea what that is, where to get them, or how to change them anyway. 
I went back to Google and tried another tip, but that involved changing things in the operating system, or something like that. No way am I touching that! Back to Google!
This one told me to press Win and L. I can recommend that no one tries this… the computer closed down! I could have hit the wrong button, I suppose? With my Gladys Glaucoma, I can barely read an email without increasing the font size. Then the print goes out of view at the edges, and there are only two buttons to press to begin with. I rebooted and tried again. But not at this site.
Then the next one down triggered a memory; this was advice I took last month when the problem occurred. Even I find it hard to believe I’d forgotten it. So, if anyone finds the screen goes to full size, you can press the Win button and the down arrow, which works a treat to reduce the screen! 
I just fail to see how I forgot it! What a plonker is not strong enough to express my self-disgust! Absolutely pee’d myself off!

Shortly afterwards, Ejaz came into the room. I tried to explain what had gone on with the ablution and CorelDraw problem, but I didn’t need to bother; he couldn’t understand what I was saying. But he set about sorting me out carewise, bless him. He gave me a Penicillin capsule. Asked if I needed other medications. I asked for Codeine, the lad Phorpain-gelled my back, and left leg’s Cartilage, Arthur Itis, and the Fractured knee. The right leg still has the compression bandaging on, which stopped me from having a shower!

Then, to my amazement, WordPress went full-screen on me, and the Win button and down arrow trick did not work this time! But after a minute or so, a circle with an X in the middle appeared at the top of the screen. I pressed it and got back to normal. Phew!
These problems, like yesterday’s, are likely due to the massive Google Chrome update. Or not?

Ejaz did his teatime call. Dealt out the evening medications. He asked if I wanted any foam, cream or back-passage caplets. None needed.
Mental more than, medical today, Hehe!

After Ejaz departed, I started getting my daily meal sorted. A ready meal of lamb in gravy, with colcannon mashed potatoes, and carrots. I made up some extra lamb gravy with mint. So I can have two bread rolls to dip in it, to soften them first. I think I may like this nosh. 
I looked up Ejaz in English before closing the computer, and it said:
EJAZ: translates to “miracle,” “wonder,” or “inimitability”. It is a male name that conveys a sense of awe and exceptional quality. 
Dare I tell him? Hahaha!

NOSH MADE
Well, I had a ready-made meal, adding some lamb & mint gravy to soak it up and soften the cheesy bread rolls.

I settled down early, in search of Sweet Morphius. But he wasn’t playing. I got up and put the TV on. This sometimes helps me nod off when the adverts come on. But it didn’t work at first. Then I did go into bliss for an hour, and ever after that, I was totally awake, yet started and gave me no rest at all.

I did try making a mug of tea, hoping it might help me get to sleep. Huh!

Then returned and climbed into the bed, but there was no sleep. I tried for several hours, fruitlessly.

KEEP SAVE…
BE GOOD…
WELL, KEEP SAFE! Hehe!
Thank Heavens Horis, helped a bit today.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =  = = = = = = = = = = =

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I struggle with my mental roaming,
I search, ask, but no one is answering,
Since starting to take the Amoxicillin,
I was good before, but it’s worsening,
I can lose what I’m saying when talking,
Phoning? To whom am I speaking?
My worries are now amalgamating,
Coming together, congealing…
And it’s not a very nice feeling,
Is this because I took the penicillin?
Concentrating, I need this elucubrating,
Little Inchies’ Fungal Lesion is bleeding,
I’m more edgy about my poor equilibrating,
The days that flash by as if speeding,
Now time flashes by, without my noticing,
My brain that moves so slowly, galumphing,
My knees’ agony when moving or genuflecting,
Aware that I’ll never again be jigajigging,
For months I’ve not yodelled or sung,
My mental & physical state is now larrupting,
Ailments that for a long time have been erupting,
But, enough of this self-prognosticating…
Magic Mushrooms, which gave me psilocin…
Tried them once, they were mind-blowing,
Now water-on-the-brain; a new thing,
This is not psychotomimetic or intoxicating,
For the Trephination operation, I am waiting,
Not looking forward to the trephinating,
But I’m not scared, or in fear, just accepting…
That life has been excruciating and bewildering,
Well, after I started to get old and ageing,
I’ve tried to avoid sinning & vernacularising,
I seeked not exculpationing or validationing,
Now, I start wailing, moaning & whimpering,
Accepting it’s distressing, disturbing, upsetting…
I have irreverent fancies, often witwantoning,
Failing is something I used to find depressing,
With my conscience, I was ever juggling…
Striving for just one chance of winning,
But ended up an expert in failing,
My hopes for a win started deteriorating,
My faith started declining, crumbling,
Then old age and I started decaying…
Physically, the ailments started mounting,
Mental problems, too, were beginning…
Dementia, PN, so many I stopped counting,
As one problem started regressing,
A new one was developing,
The first one started retrogressing,
My hopes were fading, falling & failing,
No longer anxious or troubled, just foreboding,
Accepting my fate, but fulminating,
I soon accepted my losses & forfeiting,
But seeing Starmer as PM is an abomination…
A disgrace, an obscenity, a transgression,
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Sorry, yet again, time beat me.
The usual concentration is gone.
Since starting the Amoxicillin, I’ve
been terrible in the morning each
day, and not getting much better.

I’ll put the photos on one, and I’m glad to say there are many more today. I hope I can recall taking them, which may help me gather more details.

If this goes on much longer, I may just do a cartoon HCs and do an Ode. I’m not feeling any better now.

Nocturnal urine, Ejaz gave it a 5.

When I made up the waste bags into one, 
boy, did I have a Dizzy Dennis visit.
My balance was insufficient; confusion reigned.

Ejaz called. Looked after the body checks. Issued the medications. Ointmentated my legs and the one foot he had access to. The right leg still had a compression bandage on. Then he Phorpain-gelled the left cartilage and Arthur Itis’s knee. Gave the fractured knee extra foam.

The Iceland delivery arrived, and the driver kindly threw the bag onto the kitchen floor for me.
Treats for Nurses, Carer, and me. Hehe!
Did you notice the Red Tea?
No idea why I bought it, a mystery of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. 
Ah, Inchies treats these are.
Got the items needed into the fridge.
I filled up the Carer & Nurses’ desk with the nibbles.

Then, I refreshed the [posh biscuit barrels with some shortcake & shortbread biscuits!
Well stocked up with catheter fillers.

Ode hue to this one of the front car park.

Getting late now. Lovely hue to this one.

Ejaz is not in a good mood, which is not like him at all. His next visit was a different kettle of fish.

The Catheter box arrived, and I put it on the bed. To sort out when Ejaz has time, we need to coordinate. He didn’t have time today.

Ten minutes later, the Sharrows parcel arrived.

Another cracking snap from the kitchen.

Then Ejaz made his last call. He was not keen when I mentioned sorting out the medical supplies underneath the Carer’s table.

I sorted out the meal of the day. 
Vegetable stew, with garden peas, water chestnuts, beans and flavourings, Bovril and concentrated beetroot juice, which Nurse Hristina granted me. 🤎 I put a few chips in the oven to soak in the soup.

Tasty!
Got the trots in the morning, Tsk!

=========================
TTFN, all the best!
=========================

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I got carried away today, although waking up in pain,
Waking in confusion, ailments giving it to me again,
I was feeling a smidge sickly, but not properly poorly,
I pondered and investigated divinators’ activity,
Divination by watching cats’ movements, ailuromancy,
Divination using needles, that’s called acultomancy,
Divination using salt, named alomancy,
Divination by taking a walk, (Strange that) ambulomancy,
Weird one, divination by examining the afterbirth! Amniomancy?
One for Starmer, divination using burning coals,
Arithmancy: divination using numbers, numerology,
Mysteries to me, I’d not heard of many…
Divination; Sitting and chanting within a circle, aspidomancy,
The user uses needles for divination in agalmatomancy,
What I read of this one, rather shocked me…
A long-outlawed one, for the evil divinationary,
It used the entrails of dead/dying men or women, so nasty,
Virgins through sacrifice, Anthropomancy!
There were dozens of others; these few were scary…
These here start with an A, initially, He-He!
I nipped through the rest of the pages quickly,
I think these are okay to write, I say nervously…
Divination by studying the face; physiognomancy,
Divination by means of spirits; psychomancy,
Divination by opening works of poetry, randomly?
Divination using stars, divination using stars, sideromancy,
Sounds more like it should be astronomy?,
This one reminded me of me: spasmatomancy…
Divination by twitching or convulsions of the body,
Sciomancy: divination using ghosts, no, surely?
Divination by means of faeces, spasmatomancy?
Fortune-telling by studying seeds in dung: stercomancy,
Horoscopy, palmistry for prediction or prophecy,
I suppose they do it claiming to be adminicularly?
I imagine divination could be supplementary…
To the waffle we get from the Labour Party,
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Only a few bits to go in now. Sorry.
I think the last weeks have taken a lot out of me.
Not been very up all day. It took so long to get the blog done up to here, and I’m so far behind with everything. Time is getting on. Ejaz will be doing his last call soon. 
The paperwork that needed to be done hasn’t been completed because I was feeling poorly this morning. Confused, toothache, dizzy, worse than yesterday. No comments or WP reader visit. Left the tap running, no hot water, no shower or shave.
I’m not feeling sorry for myself, but I’m feeling vague, out of balance, and unable to concentrate. I’m tired out, despite a long broken 6 hours in kip. Just feeling I’m not me. Which sounds odd, I know. Hehe! 
This unreal state I woke up in lasted until the evening, but at that time, thankfully, along came . Unfortunately, being in the grip of earlier, I decided to risk it and have some Polish sausages, tomatoes, onions, and German ham cheesey-topped bread rolls. 
I wasn’t surprised when  dished out the punishment for my stupidity.
By then, he was making an entry, with his delightful ‘Sod-Em-All’ mode permeating every part of my outlook and brain. Plus, I recognised how silly I’ve been in eating hard foods, so the pain was my own fault. But was I bothered? Well, yes, a bit, but the grip of Horis grew larger. It’s challenging to find the words to express how I felt at that time. Guilt was in there somewhere along with ‘Sod-Em-All’, knowledge that I’m paying the price for something or other and pure relief that the vagueness was on its way, after harassing me all day.

A few photos I took follow, the last ones with on full swing. 
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I recall taking this one after waking up late and feeling in a mood; seeing the fog, it seemed to fit in.

The photo below reminded me that’s probably why I took it. I only took a handful all day.
The computer kept telling me to open my OneDrive Cloud, but I couldn’t figure out how. I failed to achieve this for about an hour or more.
Then the robot told me to install Google updates.
I think this might open the cloud, so I installed them as instructed. Of dearie me, what a fine pickle I’d got myself into. It would have to come while I was feeling so confused, didn’t it? Of course it did.
I had to close all programmes first, then click on install, so I did. It took ages to load and install.
I opened Google, and all of my tabs failed to show up on the screen! A minute’s panic, and I made the fifth visit to the . Where I pondered over what to do, or try next. When I got back to the computer, a line above everything had appeared on Google. It was empty. I presumably thought the tags were being put on as part of the update. So I left it to see what would happen after an hour of creating words in Hippo. Nothing had happened.
So, I found the Bookmarks, now written as bookmarks & lists, and opened some of the tabs, and clicked on the ” put on tab thingy. Slowly working my way through he ones I wanted to put on. Three hours later, after each one had appeared on the top line on the screen, I clicked on them to open them. The first one, Hippo’s words, had a warning on it about heavy memory usage, so I closed it, and it disappeared from the screen! This also happened with WordPress, Iceland, and Amazon. They all disappeared eventually, each time I
closed them, but just the ones above had ‘High Memory usage flash up. Heartbroken, angry, and frustrated, I closed down the computer, ran CCleaner, and then turned it off. I didn’t notice the amount it cleaned or removed this time, as I was at my lowest point of the day. Shame!
Back to the Porcelain Throne for another Trotsky Terence watery evacuation, and I sat there feeling sorry for myself for yonks.
Ejaz came and did a good job of body-checking, foamed the left ankle, and administered the medications. I did not mention the computer to him; that is how low I felt!

I opened the computer again, and all the original tabs were back in the usual place! I resisted getting hopeful yet, knowing my luck.
But my jiminee, they were working correctly now!
I suppose, being so confused and dispirited, I may have missed something I should have or should not have done during the download and installation.
Then I reran CCleaner.
This is what was cleaned. A little large amount for a ten-minute use?

Visited, Wonderful!

Silly me, naturally, this brought the attention of
Serves me right!

And…
and…

Went to wash the pots
At last, I can appreciate something,
even while in a High-Mood-Horis
“Sod-Them-All” mood!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I’ll have to omit this one, Sorry.
No time, too busy,
Feeling tired and a little dizzy,
Got to prepare for the upcoming dentistry…
And check the catheter, that seems a bit leaky!
Dentist Ejaz is going with me on Wednesday.
Home visit from the Cardiac Lady,
Possibly, a Neurosurgeon, & change in tablets medically,
And/or a painfully-fitting new catheter malarky,
Cardiac, if she didn’t come today,
Covid & Flu jab, or maybe on Thursday
I’m not looking forward to Wednesday,
Teeth-Pulling? Me? Yes! I have three!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Good Morning.
Darned busy day again.
Early in the morning, a bit of a panic.
O began visiting the Trotsky Terence-controlled Porcelain Throne, no joke, the first of 18 visitations over the day! Yes!
Worried about going to the Dentist and a cardiac visit tomorrow. Fear of any escapages!
Carer Ejaz confirmed the lift to and back from the Audio centre, whenever that is, I’ve got it written down in the Google Calendar.

Found the photo I’d lost of yesterday’s meal.
Where was it? Dare I say? No!

Put the TV on while the meal is cooking.
Got carried away watching Dad’s Army and started on a second one. Then smelt the burning food…
.
Made another and cleaned up the mess.
Very lovely, apart from the agony from the teeth.

Going to be even busier tomorrow…
Dentist and Cardiac Specialist, possibly INR blood donation. (She came on Wednesday). An Orthopaedic Surgeon is coming to examine the fractured knee, possibly on Wednesday. I can see what’s going to happen, they’ll all come tomorrow, while I’m at the Dentist! Not feeling confident at all. Hehehe!

🌹Cheery-Bye! 🌹

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
The day started very well today, no argument.
Which would later turn annoyingly abdicant,
Then it lost its amicability, no longer accordant,
The phone chirped, & starting my addlement,
A Doctor rang, the clarity went into fragmentation
He babbled on about ailments, abstinent…
Heart failure, seizures, changing my medications,
We lost the signal often, as he changed subjects,
I tried to keep calm and be acquiescent,
I was soon left feeling frustrated, ambivalent,
But the line repeatedly failed, went absent,
Facts and figures were forced to be abscondent,
It was impossible to be attentive or vigilant,
The whole conversation was claudicant,
And so often the connection went absent…
Twelve times the line went conticent,
I lost track of his words; they were incoherent,
What he spoke, said, was like a verbal circumfluent,
Now facts or instructions were ensuant…
Some things I heard will have to be considered,
Warfarin INR too low, doses to be attuned,
Heart failure, earlier meeting with Dr Hearn,
To go back to check the knee bones broken,
Stronger medication for cholesterol, Inclisiran,
A ton of other stuff that I’ve forgotten!

Carer Ejaz phoned the Dentist, got an appointment sorted
for Wednesday, and night Cathter bags were ordered,
Of the leaking leg, the District Nurses were informed,
A nurse will be calling, we were told & apprised,
Confusion Konrad was well exercised,
Ejaz alleviated my fears & I’m not concerned!,
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Medical activations today, Tuesday & Wednesday.
Nurses to tend to the worsening Lymphorrhea to be bandaged & medicated on Monday, Tuesday, and  Wednesday. Possible longer.

Then the same for the Catheter Contraption to be changed on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Emergency Dentist, Wednesday.

COVID-19 & Flu jabs, Tuesday or Wednesday.

Cardiac tests, Wednesday or Thursday.

Neuropathy confirmation awaited. Currently set for November 6th.

Optician time to be found and fitted in.

Diabetes team visit – scheduled for one day this week, and one next week. No dates yet.

Medication assessment, Gawd knows when.
Changes to be assessed. Atorvastatin is to be replaced with an injectable medication. Called, I believe, Inklisiron. All other medications currently being used are to be reassessed.

So, it’s a busy day today, and a few more are to come.
I may not be able to complete any blogs for a day or two… or three. Sorry.

Today was a struggle time-wise, with the nurse doing the legwork, planning the catheter replacement, and Carer Ejaz supporting me to cope with it all. He contacted the Dentist, tried to contact the Doctor, and the Audio centre for me, a good lad.

Just photos today, as I’m up to my neck in medical problems and will be for a while.

Morning view

Mystery morning photo?

Got on the computer eventually

Nocturnal pouch left on too long

Health Checks are both high.

Carer Ejaz busy today, helping me out

The call from the Doctors’ disaster cost me over an hour, with the line cutting out. I ended up more baffled than if they hadn’t called.

The bed was very welcome

TTFN