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You… well, even I couldn’t believe the mess I got myself into with the computer today! I was so frustrated that a loathing of myself and a continually hounding at me with a horrendous amount of lousy luck flourished furiously. This did not help my already well, delicate, state of mind in the slightest bit.
I fear with all the repetitions of failures, I seem to be going into a deep, dank depression at some time, every day! Often more than once. Yet somehow, my very depression makes me sick, disgusted at getting depressed, this in some fashion, helps bring me out of them… until the next one comes. Which are now suffered diurnally.
How I wish a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist or psychoanalyst, I’m not sure who could help or be willing to, would read these declarations.
THE COMPUTER HAS FROZEN AGAIN!
I”M GOING TO HAVE TO GET THE PHOTOS ON QUICK, CAUSE IT’LL GO AGAIN FOR SURE! SHIT!
No night bag, I forgot to ask the carer to put it on.
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Morning view.
Early nosh again.
Prepped.
I photographed the meal tray and the dark urine when I emptied the day dag into the jug. The state of the hallway floor before I cleaned, and afterwards. Also took a midday view shot… I did all of these without the SD card in Kodak Tim. Now I was really peeing myself off!
Put the card in and took this effort of the red sky.
When the computer went down for the first time, I tried to photo some of the screens that filled the screen… But they went off as I took the shot… talk about bad luck. Not that anyone can help if they see it, all very technical with no signs of what I had to do!
Opened the internet, Google.
Late afternoon delight.
The bottom field, lovely looking weather, no one around, which I found out of the ordinary.
A later shot of the sky and clouds.
THE COMPUTER HAS FROZEN AGAIN!.
I took these pages they meant, not a lot to me.
Washed the pots and cleaned the kitchen; now back on blogging and am going to finish & post this early.
While I can.
Depressed to Hell!
TTFN
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were in harmony and became the main ailment aggressors for the day. For the second day. My mind was tormented like never before, and I thought Thursday was bad for concentration… today dwarfed the effects suffered yesterday. I was, well, still am, in another world almost. 
Dark.
I came out of it with me having peeled, and I am now cutting up some potatoes to go in the oven later for the meal. 
Served up and ate the off meal. I enjoyed it, I reckon, but not when I realised all the lost to-memory time. 
At least the TV was working.
Talk about losing it. I made another meal!
I did enjoy this one.
Considered getting the quilt and pillows on the bed tonight. Of course, of the Porcelain Throne and forgot all about doing it.
Got this in. Sand bucket handle on the bottom, when as we all remember, it should be on the top
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Worra mess!.
Accifauxpas!
Nosh
Bus sign & Bobbies Helmet is blue.
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supplied installed and charged for landline phones went down!
got it going for a second time. And now, no one can help me get it going again, which made for a miserable night!
, it burst open and cost me hours to get things cleaned up, and the clothing had to go into the laundry bag… in it was the pot of freshener and soap capsule, which the lid came off of, and spread all over the carpet I’d just spent hours cleaning up form the first disaster… I was getting mega-frustrated!
had me over…
, and right shoulder, which naturally started off my old friends and ailment 
and 
, almost incidentally, and accidentally causing 
bleeding.
, however. Miraculously, 
barely bled at all!
after I wrote this bit
Dark urine in the night bag. Not a good sign of a decent day in prospect when I woke at 05:00hrs this jolly, gay, contented morning. 
Huh!
in the wet room. Grumph!
.
The 
internet was still going at 09:10hrs! Not for long.
Drinkies!
Meats, potatoes, ice cream, fresh vegetable mix, yes, this’ll last me a while.
Ready meals, sausages, croquettes, pies, tomatoes, hot dogs… Oh yes!
Treats.
These should keep the Nurses and Carers happy!
Overfull fridge.
Wet room again..
Paper Towels. As if I needed them!
More Shortie biscuits, sauce, cobs and milk.
Blimey, more sausages, bacon and pies!
The overfilled fridge, now more so.
I unzipped a banana – and ate it!
overcharging for TV working again.
Carer Helen called; I’ve not seen her for months on end. Lovely to see her again. She pointed out what Kara did earlier about the Pork Pie in the fridge needing to be eaten in a day. So, I had it with some mixed soup vegetables I was cooking in the saucepan, intending to have them with the fresh sausages, but I had the oddest-looking meal in a long time.
I was still depressed with the TV going off, and the door chime not working to enjoy anything much. 
: Of to the Porcelain Throne again and emptied the day bag while in there.
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did the last two calls. He could not help with the lack of TV from the frustrating and annoying 
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04:10hrs: Burst was awake and already confused before the Monsoons started. Much too dark a shade!
I put the kettle on, and I made up the waste bag.
Ah, well. 
Opened the window later on to make this effort.
Planned the canned meal for later on.
Arrived, doing a double session, medications & domestic. Hence, my confusion and inability to cope and remember things came to light.
, and was in a rush methinks. Today’s task was to be the removal of the entire 
, but there was no time to leave it off to allow me to try and wee voluntarily. A
Got me on the bed to carry out the procedure. Actually, it was less painful than many earlier medicationings, to be honest. Sarah doesn’t mess about; the old insertion tube was pulled straight out, painkiller gel squirted into little Inchie and the new line, and the reinsertion was soon back in again!
called next, chatted while doing the medications, and she kindly took the laundry bag down for me. And… an hour or two later, with the Oligarchs just reaching…
Gone suddenly dark? I thought someone had turned the light off. Hehehe!
Ruled the next hour or so…
Nice! Flavour 8./10.
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Nocturnal urine is a better colour.
Eurgh!
Itchy ankles and legs. Multi-coloured?
Used the new razors… well, I say new; I bought them years ago and lost them. But the Social Lady and District Nurse found them when cramming the stuff in the spare room when making space for the bed. Haha! 
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Well, had to go again…
Haemorrhoid swabs were medicated in the sink.
Kitchen first, first one not so good…
Ah, much betterer!
I decided to house up the spuds before the get more growth on them. Last of the Leicester Red Cheese, and later on, to make cheesy baked potatoes. 
The sun tried suddenly to get through the gaps in the clouds, beautiful!
Not sure why I took another shot?
A later snap.
Sunsetting.
Closer shot…
Ah, I missed the stand… Tsk!
The Cheesy Potato Feast!
made sure of that!
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03:00hrs: I burst into violent wakefulness. With, or due to, hypnagogic jerking, hypnic myoclonic, involuntary twitching, shaking, and jolting. Even the teeth were jarring, and eyelids were blinking away crazily! My left leg slipped off of the resting chair, and my ankle papule hit the standing seat leg, and the fluid poured out. Over my foot, the quilt, and the carpet.
working, recliner, to clean things up. Took a shot of the nocturnal Catheter bag first
As I looked at the bed awaiting its safety bar to be fitted, I swear I moved! Oh course, I suppose it didn’t, really. The eyes are bad again this morning. Due, 
I think to 
and or 
? 
cleaning cloth to sort out the mess, and I noticed how, within a minute or two, the change to the scene on view. (on the left)
This time it was for a longer period. 
I popped out onto the balcony first, to see what the situation was with the end car park’s mudslide.
it was getting lighter, but still raining a bit. About ten more minutes. As I toyed with salvaging some potatoes
It had lightened quickly and I got a decentish photograph taken of the end mudslide scene. 
n, then off again.
I took another of the Galpharm capsules, just to be on the safe side after the visit to the wet room was finished.
The north side view had turned to a blue/red hue. Well, it would do… But I don’t know why, do you? Then I closed the window, cutting my finger on the spring clip screw. Poetic, if nothing else… Hehe!
Off to the wet room for the third time.
The 
Alarm 
in getting the meal prepared for myself tonight. Although a rescue attempt was fairly successful, as you can see in the photo here on the right. The flavour rating was 7.6/10.
spot on target..
I thought the day was going too well compared to how the previous 1,525 days had gone. Luckily it 
did not bother me in the slightest. 
Possibly? Perhaps. Maybe…
I washed the pots and had a Yodel doing so. I heard a tapping noise from the flat above, so, I stopped the yodelling straight away.
I closed the computer. Cursed, and had to visit 
no.10 to the Porcelain Throne.
did the last call. A nice young lad. He took this snap of the right leg after he removed the ankle and leg strapping, then the diabetic socks for me. Oh, the wanting to scratch at the itching from both legs and feet drove me mad! I knew if I did, without any doubts, 
s geyser papules would start 
bleeding and leaking fluid. His laughter at my plight helped me resist doing so, but it wasn’t easy. He put the strappings and socks in the laundry bag for me. 
Through my Old kitchen windows during work.
Woodthorpe Court.
Balcony building in progress.
Hoists used by the builders up the flats.
End car park area.
Replastering near the balcony window.
Windwood Court right, Woodthorpe left.
Chestnut Way.
Winwood Court.
Front of Woodthorpe.
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04:00hrs: 300ml of urine this morning.
I got on with the blogging straight away…
Grunglenuts!
This is how the damp, even wet, some of the thicker items came out of the laundry bag.
Got the diabetic socks on the towel airer in the hallway.
And the throw for the bed on the flat airer.
The socks kept slipping off of the bars.
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The socks were falling off again, so I moved the dressing gown onto the stand-up machine, and the socks to the flat, bent & tw
This was when I noticed an odd sock among them.
Moved the quilt onto the stand-up airer.
Folded the seven diabetic socks.
And went to make a brew of Glengettie.
Wet or what?
Yes, wet!
The left side was even worse.
The right end shot of the end car park came out alright, the wind was carrying the rain, and the mud-slide was developing rather quickly.
Because the pouch seemed to fill up so quickly. although the colour was the healthiest it has ever been; I’d say a two on the NHS Urine Richter Scale.
300ml, from half a mug of Glengettie?
The day pouch had filled in no time??? After emptying the bag again, no joking, in five minutes, there were 200ml of good-coloured urine back in the pouch! 
Oh, here’s the future man with his torch!
The sun was struggling up from the left. The rain had stopped, and I tried to get a decent photo of the planet.
I put some prepared parmesan potatoes in the tray, 
ready for cooking later on. I threw away the butter pat with the garlic in it and shaved some of the fantastic-tasting no-butter butter on the potatoes instead, with a splash of sea salt and vinegar.
blood trickling down my leg.
I overcooked the pies, and the crusts were like shoe leather, only tougher. I actually bent the knife when I first tried to cut one! The tatters were okay. 
I accidentally had the flash on when I snapped this one. The rain was back again.
This one came out lighter without the flash.
by the lengthy tube, and fumbling along with precious 
, I had to get up to turn off the lights. Not easy getting back to the recliner in the dark, but I avoided any toe stubbings. Got settled back down, and the coughing kicked in again: 
That ditty was my way of saying that standing up and pain & bleeding exited from Little Inchie’s fungal lesion as the tube pulled at him. Cartilage Choe gave way on the little journey, the eyes made it hard to get back to the recliner, sitting down again, and Haemorrhoid Harold hurt and bled as I plonked down a mite hard on my rear end. Then as I got as comfortable as I was going to get, Coughing Claire kicked off, which affected all the aforementioned ailments, plus, the throat, Back Pain Brenda, the leg papules, the chest, the ears popped, the glasses fell off, I knocked the TV remote control… tried to retrieve it, and knocked over a bottle of spring water! It instilled a thought in my mind. I must ask each evening carer to turn off the lights for me on leaving. 
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It’s a decent colour this morning.
Off to get the 
done.
Personal Medications carried out. (Ouch!)
Creamed the Excema and acne.
Is that a bit of red eye, I see, now?
Snap from the kitchenette window.
Waste bags sorted.
The new second-hand used bed. I was taking this photo when it rang out from the front door. A chap walked in from the Red Cross, the people who kindly delivered the bed for me with a no-fall bar to be fitted to the bed. They have sent one for a different bed to this one. It would not work. He said he’d tell them to see if he could get a bar fitted later for me. It can’t be helped
Getting lighter now, much later than usual.
arrived. I eventually got a signal that stayed on for more than three minutes. Two hours and a lot of lost work later, the 
Liberty-Global total had risen to
I was infuriated and pissed off, and the signal suddenly stayed on. Well, for a while. At least. But my confidence was lacking.
I got the largest of the baking potatoes from the pack. 
Now, this confused me greatly.
evacuations for at least two weeks and have been taking the above capsules daily. The bubbling and agitations within the bowels continued, but not the faintest sign of any movement? 
I gave it plenty of time. I even counted the cracks in the ceiling and had a go at the crossword puzzle, but nothing came out, not even any wind! Yet I still have the sensation from within, all the usual signs, rumbling, grumblings and pressure from the innards, forewarning me of a rear-end tsunami being imminent.
Came, and I gave up on computing altogether.
putting the Germolene on the burnt fingers cause I knew there was more to burn. 
Then, I added some Squid sea salt. Spirit vinegar and a smidgeon of.
Arrived. I asked him to take the laundry with him, specifically asking him to make sure that it was well-dried, as the quilts would be needed for the new bed
Wobbled?
Wobbled!
And, again, Wobbled!
It’s an even closer effort. Wobbles!
A half-decent one at last! Haha!
Easy one this time, wasn’t it?
of 
that felt much worse than ever now