Random, waffling thoughts from Inchcock!

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I think that should be Milliganesqueness?

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No animal (Apart from Inchcock of course) were harmed in this production

This blog is lactose-free & suitable for vegetarians and vegans

No artificial colouring or flavourings were used

Inchcock is a semi-free-range production

Organically reclaimed wording used

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A Little Chunter from Inchcock. In bad, nae, terrible rhyme!

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A Little Chunter from Inchcock

In bad, nae, terrible rhyme!

It’s the day of the criminal, there is no more law,

Empathy, understanding have become just folklore,

I don’t see Police officers in Nottingham, anymore,

 Pavement Cyclists, beggars and shoplifters galore,

Street sleepers, who survive with skills of a detrivore,

Druggies, alcoholics, muggers, both old and mature,

While families dine, smoke cigars and drink their liquor,

All the time, making the poor, feel even sicker!

Disabled with Fit for Work Assessments, have to fight and bicker,

A blind chap got told he can work on a cherry-picker!

Jobseekers told to do psychometric tests, Glory Be!

But if you’re lucky, you’ll live to retire just like me,

But it isn’t what you thought, no rest and freedom, see,

Heart attack, Duodenal Ulcer, and I live on the twelfth-floor,

Peripheral Neuralgia, then a stroke and Arthritis, core!

What next I thought, and the lock broke on the door,

It was mended within three weeks, no need to be sore,

My hot water system went down, so I called help once more,

After nine days of being lied to, ‘We are coming today for sure,

Staying in and awake eight-until-ten, no chance of a bedsore!

But they mended it! It leaked, my clothes wet, the water did pour!

I slipped on the liquid, ending up injured on the floor,

Luckily, the stroke nurse called, so help came to the fore,

Depression and self-hating I began to explore,

I complained at the lack of help, this just caused a furore!

Now the haemorrhoids have returned, bloody and sore!

 

I fank You!

Vital Advice for Nottinghamian Senior Citizens, Part one – In Rhyme, of sorts

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They’re dangerous, uncouth and some are blind,

The ignorant swine are uncaring, and what’s more,

They often hit you, coming silently from behind,

Leaving your hand arm or elbow, feeling sore,

They test your sanity, patience and mind,

They’ve no warning bells or horn, that’s for sure,

Belting along the pavements, they are a bind,

It’s no use if you beg and implore,

For them to leave more room, not be so unkind,

The few who reply, use sneers, curse-words obscure,

To roads and cycle paths they should be confined,

Their insults, two fingers you’ll have to endure,

Best to use your walking stick – hit ’em on the jaw!

BNC02

But that’s no solution, not a good idea, you see,

Cause they are young, fit and violence-loving,

They offer scowls and are threatening to me,

Some ride at me, I have to do some manoeuvering,

Which ain’t easy with the walker to push, you see!

Empathy, sympathy, and understanding they are avoiding,

Making this old fart, run and flee!

 Taking their photograph may get me a beating,

But don’t give up the struggle, become an attritee,

Join me on my hobbles, bring a Glock, that’s the thing!

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They don’t scare me though… well, not too much.

Alright, the law-breaking and getting-away-with-it ‘Gits’ do!

Neuropathic Mambo – A song by Timothy Price – Brilliant!

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Written to Spite the peripheral neuralgia!

Neuropathic Mambo

By Timothy Price

♫ When the legs go dancing on their own
Electric feelings shock my bones
Arms all flailing, fingers shake and role
Bumping and grinding out a neuropathic mambo ♫

♫ Shaking
Shocking ♫

♫ Neuropathic mambo ♫

♫ Shocking
Shaking ♫

♫ My knees get weak and start a shake
My arms go limp and then they quake
I stub my toe Ouch I’m still alive
Instead of Typing, my fingers do the hand jive ♫

♫ Shocking
Shaking ♫

♫ Neuropathic mambo ♫

♫ Shocking
Shaking ♫

♫ When the legs start dancing on their own
Electric feelings shock my bones
Arms all flailing, fingers shake and role
Bumping and grinding out a neuropathic mambo ♫

♫ Shaking, shocking, bumping out a mambo ♫
♫ Shaking, shocking, bumping out a neuropathic mambo
Shaking, shocking, bumping out a Neuropathic mambo
Shaking, shocking, bumping out a Neuropathic mambo! ♫

 

Here is the link to the song: Neropathetic Mambo

I Thang You.

 

 

A song composed edited and sang, by Tim in New Mexico!

A song composed, edited and sang, by Tim

A thousand thanks to WordPresser Tim did this for me, relating to my Hobbles around Nottingham. I laughed my head off, at the same time as being amazed at this surprise song.

Brilliant I thought!

Here are the lyrics, followed by the link to hear this masterpiece of wit and humour!

I wondered what each streetlight and house light might be hiding?

Inchcock’s Wonderings While Wandering

Key of C

Each morning there’s light out there,
Someone is in despair?
Someone washing his own hair?
Alcoholics here and there?

Up there, a plane in the air?
A shoplifter in his lair?
Perhaps a millionaire’s heir?
Old chap sleeps in recliner chair?

There’s a vicar with a prayer?
Someone eats a cream eclair?
Old folks playing solitaire?
Hearing burglars downstairs?

Inchock’s wonderings while he’s wandering through the many streets of Nottingham.
Streetlights shining on the sidings what do all those house lights have to hide?

Someone’s even happy somewhere?
With Cocaine a necessaire?
Street-sleeper, future billionaire?
Admits to voting for Tony Blair?

A Christian reciting the Lord’s Prayer?
Looking for a policeman full of despair?
Some of them might be out there
Taking in the night air

Someone with a cupboard bare?
Stealing cars, phones, a Frigidaire?
Some in places don’t want to be there?
Loyal abstainers or having an affair?

Inchock’s wonderings while he’s wandering through the many streets of Nottingham.
Streetlights shining on the sidings what do all those house lights have to hide?

Someone battling nasty spyware?
Someone short on his bus fare?

 

Rambling deep thoughts from Inchcock: In pathetic rhyme

Unfortunately, old Inchcock had one of his self-pitying moods this morning.

When he found he had new boils, acne and the Furosimide induced Wee-Wees were mega-active, with the tsnunami-like splashbacks being unavoidable!

Then he checked his fluid-filled containers he calls legs…

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Ah, that’s new boils on his back, bum and now new growths on his knees, as well as some more blood papsules showing on the pins!

These could be just a few reasons for his sad Thoughts Ode today? Hehehe!

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Created spontaniously from the mind of Nottingham City Homes Pensioner; in a moment of insanity and a blood of Furosemide induced Wee-weeing!

Christmas Day Morning: Inchcock ‘Aching All Over’

I woke up this Christmas Day Morning:

To find that the only parts of my horrendously Billy Bunter like body, that didn’t Ache or Hurt, there the left index finger and the right side of my right elbow!

I found myself singing, Johnny Kidd & The Pirates song, as Aching All Over in place of their, Shaking all over. The idea came to get some humour out of feeling so poorly, and I set about making this graphic, putting my version of the song in the yellow letters.

Dec 25 2018

Christmas morning, and all I could do was create this bit of fun.

Sad, innit?

Hehehe!

Hope you have a laugh, and a jolly good holiday!

TTFN.