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I struggle with my mental roaming,
I search, ask, but no one is answering,
But why should they, I say while praying…
I can see my end, advancing…
That’s how it is, no romancing…
I’m not exactly laughing or dancing,
At the thought of my decaying & dying,
To live a long time, I’ve not been relying on anything,
Since starting to take the Amoxicillin…
Toothache Tiffany, the pain she’s still inflicting...
Looking forward to the trephinating….
Remembering, ashamed & self-loathing…
My fractured knee, cuts while shaving…
But the way the computer has been behaving…
Almost got to me, it had me spitting & cursing!
Till a visit came from Community Nursing,
I fell in love as she removed the compression bandaging,
She said I’m doing well; which was very encouraging!
She replaced it with a new one, after medicating,
Then she got me on the bed, things were tingling!
As she began my catheter-contraption removing…
If I’d written these lines correctly, they’d have no rhyming,
The tube from Little Inchie, pain-free, with no hurting,
She came to the bit, which can tear-bringing!
But not with this gal, I was actually singing…
As she manipulated the tube back into Little Inchy!
It went so well, we laughed jocosely!
Her visit rid me of my jejunity,
I insisted, in thanks, she takes goodies for nibbling,
My thanks, and coffee and cans for drinking.
And some croissants to share with others who are nursing.
Since starting to take the Amoxicillin,
I was good before, but it’s worsening,
I can lose what I’m saying when talking,
Phoning? To whom am I speaking?
My worries are now amalgamating,
Coming together, congealing…
And it’s not a very lovely feeling,
Is this because I took the penicillin?
Concentrating, I need this elucubrating,
Little Inchies’ Fungal Lesion is bleeding,
I’m more edgy about my poor equilibrating,
The days that flash by as if speeding,
Now time flashes by, without my noticing,
My brain that moves so slowly, galumphing,
My knees’ agony when moving or genuflecting,
Aware that I’ll never again be jigajigging,
For months I’ve not yodelled or sung,
My mental & physical state is now larrupting,
Ailments that for a long time have been erupting,
But, enough of this self-prognosticating…
Magic Mushrooms, which gave me psilocin…
Tried them once, they were mind-blowing,
Now water-on-the-brain; a new thing,
This is not psychotomimetic or intoxicating,
For the Trephination operation, I am waiting,
Not looking forward to the trephinating,
But I’m not scared, or in fear, just accepting…
That life has been excruciating and bewildering,
Well, after I started to get old and ageing,
I’ve tried to avoid sinning & vernacularising,
I seeked not exculpationing or validationing,
Now, I start wailing, moaning & whimpering,
Accepting it’s distressing, disturbing, upsetting…
I have irreverent fancies, often witwantoning,
Failing is something I used to find depressing,
With my conscience, I was ever juggling…
Striving for just one chance of winning,
But ended up an expert in failing,
My hopes for a win started deteriorating,
My faith started declining, crumbling,
Then old age and I started decaying…
Physically, the ailments started mounting,
Mental problems, too, were beginning…
Dementia, PN, so many I stopped counting,
As one problem started regressing,
A new one was developing,
The first one started retrogressing,
My hopes were fading, falling & failing,
No longer anxious or troubled, just foreboding,
Accepting my fate, but fulminating,
I soon accepted my losses & forfeiting,
But seeing Starmer as PM is an abomination…
A disgrace, an obscenity, a transgression.
Starmer has a certain air, but no admirability,
He made Tory Mark Harper, into Baron Harper,
He’s a charlatan, deceiver, hoodwinker & liar!
A masquerader, grifter, confidence-trickster,
Is this why he did so well as a barrister?
A double-dealer, hoaxer, swindler, flimflammer,
A back-hander taker, illywhacker & douceur,
I imagine I sound a bit of a derogator?
I mentioned Keir to my electroencephalographer,
One of his worst traits is his hylomania!
His compassion is non-existent, not even minuscule!
I so look forward to his moratoria!
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Horrible day!
Apart from the nurse doing my leg bandaging and changing the catheter-contraption, of course.
I fell in love again; I must top this at my age.
CorelDraw and Computer problems again.
Left the hot water tap to run cold again.
Got to the Porcelain Throne too late again. What a mess I made… I blame Trotsky Terence.
Lost the TV remote control. Found it five hours later.
Went down to call on Jenny and Frank. I got off the ninth floor, and for some unknown reason, I inwardly lambasted myself: “You Pratt!” Then went down to the eighth floor, into the small lobby, and realised as soon as I noticed there was no bell-push on the door, that I was on the wrong floor. It was the eighth floor! Still, poor Jenny cannot get up very well, so I didn’t see her, but it was lovely seeing Frank again.
Then Carer Ejaz told me was not doing the last call. Thankfully, he will be here in the morning. I hope.
Ejaz did his best and may have got in trouble for overstaying on his visit; to call the Doctor. He got through after selecting buttons to answer the robot questions. He reached another robot and was 3rd in the queue. He then gave me my mobile to monitor the repeated messages while I called the Audio Centre, which took 20 minutes to get through. Apparently, they will email me. From the first time I called the Doctors, it took 30 minutes to speak to a receptionist, five minutes to explain the problem, and they will send me a text.
So nothing was achieved. We were both frustrated. Although a stronger word may explain how we felt a little more accurately.
Did I mention the CorelDraw and Google problems?
There’s no time left if I don’t, so it’s already late.
Photos & Comments
The catheter pouch, before my nurse tended to it.
Morning view.
Forgot why I took this one.
HC equipment. High BP today.
Aha, got some of the Marmite & cheese puffs.
Too many drinkies. Even though
I’m drinking nonstop to help
my bladder pass to the catheter.
So tired, only just changed the date.
Copernicus sausage, Potato Rostis, cooked beetroot, tomatoes & cheesy bread rolls.


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Things are now more of a struggle!
I’m forever in a muddle…
I could do with a cuddle!
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Feeling a little sad for myself there, sorry!![]()


Did you notice? I’ve gorra a new Grim Reaper,
Early Morning fog

I did the teggies very carefully. Then had a shave using the new razors, carefully. No cuts, no droppages!
soap substitutes on my neck, I noticed
that it does visit me now and then.
handwash the Khagoule and hung it up to dry in the wet room. It was then that it dawned on me that I had not done the other freshenings & medicationings yet. No cursing or swearing at myself.
Back to check if I’d left the tap running in the kitchen, and at last, the fog was beginning to clear somewhat, slowly. 
Shortly afterwards, Ejaz came into the room. I tried to explain what had gone on with the ablution and CorelDraw problem, but I didn’t need to bother; he couldn’t understand what I was saying. But he set about sorting me out carewise, bless him. He gave me a Penicillin capsule. Asked if I needed other medications. I asked for Codeine, the lad Phorpain-gelled my back, and left leg’s Cartilage, Arthur Itis, and the Fractured knee. The right leg still has the compression bandaging on, which stopped me from having a shower!
NOSH MADE
Then returned and climbed into the bed, but there was no sleep. I tried for several hours, fruitlessly.
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Nocturnal urine, Ejaz gave it a 5.
When I made up the waste bags into one,
The Iceland delivery arrived, and the driver kindly threw the bag onto the kitchen floor for me.
Treats for Nurses, Carer, and me. Hehe!
No idea why I bought it, a mystery of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits.
Ah, Inchies treats these are.
Got the items needed into the fridge.
I filled up the Carer & Nurses’ desk with the nibbles.
Then, I refreshed the [posh biscuit barrels with some shortcake & shortbread biscuits!
Well stocked up with catheter fillers.
Ode hue to this one of the front car park.
Getting late now. Lovely hue to this one.
The Catheter box arrived, and I put it on the bed. To sort out when Ejaz has time, we need to coordinate. He didn’t have time today.
Ten minutes later, the Sharrows parcel arrived.
Another cracking snap from the kitchen.
Tasty!
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I recall taking this one after waking up late and feeling in a mood; seeing the fog, it seemed to fit in.
This is what was cleaned. A little large amount for a 
And…
and…
At last, I can appreciate something,
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some Peptac and Phorpain gelled Cartilage Chloe and Arthur Itis’s knees.
I made a start on yesterday’s blog at long last. But not for long, and another summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived and had to be responded to.
I put some of the cream onto Little inchy, but had no desire to r
I’m not sure why I bought even more jars of Kung Po sauce… yes, I do now, it was on a special Offer.
These cookies were on Special Price, as well.
I put some in a nibble jar, and the bacon-flavour crispy thingamajigs in another jar. They should be painlessly edible
falling in love, and are an unwell old antique, what else is there that one can do? Hahaha!
The end of the car park, with the regular little red car on the no-parking lines, and two other vehicles were demonstrating their
parking skills for us to admire.
As
Made a cock-up, (I needn’t have mentioned that, I make them that often) and burnt the meal, which made the food harder, defeating my plans for having softer food to counter the effects of dear 


I admit, it can be a bit of a bugger,
during the ablutioning.
Refilled the bottom cyoboard again
fridge. Polish sausages, Zwieska, Cheesy Rolls, Roast pork and rostis. I have plenty of drinks for anyone who calls to help me
in any way. The iced coffees are particularly popular.
this colour was the best ever recorded. While being hospitalised for 3, then four days, I kept missing the nurses changing it. Then the three weeks with the fractured knee meant I couldn’t, daren’t move it back then, cause of the pain of it. But it is far less hurtful today, so I moved it. I have complete confidence that the dentist will alleviate the pain later today. Hahaha!
We got off at the Mansfield Rd bus stop on the hill. We nattered and had a laugh as we crossed the road and walked up to the dental surgery. I was danged-glad that Ejaz was with me. Getting up those four deep steps is not easy without the trolley, but Ejaz assisted me.
I continued working on this blog and then headed back down to the laundry room. Took me ages to get the clothes sorted and folded. They were a smidge damp, well, the thick coat was. I cleaned the filter and reinstalled it. Taking this photo of a car on the chevrons at the front of the flats on the way back. I met the lady
who helped me on the way back, and offered her my appreciation and thanks.
I added the heavy coat from the dryer to the rest of the clothing in the bag, taking care to keep everything as straight as
possible. Going back along the link corridor, I stopped twice because my frequently fractured knee was pretty painful.
When Ejaz did his late call, he took a snap of my right leg. Not a pretty sight at all. Then again, that’s not unusual!
I very stupidly added raw garden peas to the tray. This resulted in instant pain from the four teeth and gums on the right side of my mouth.
As Ejaz left after his early morning visit, I realised he had not given me one of the Amoxicillin tablets. I took one and made a note for me to tell Ejaz. Afterwards, I wondered if I’d done the right thing or the wrong thing. I was aware of what the Dentist or Chemist was communicating to Ejaz; maybe they told him to start the course in the morning?
On Ejaz’s last visit, I told him I’d taken the Amoxicillin tablet & why. He took a shot of the legs and the colour of the urine in the catheter day pouch, it’s getting darker now. One thing that struck me was the new compression bandage’s colour, so skin-like.
Thanks to Carer Ejaz.
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Found the photo I’d lost of yesterday’s meal.
Put the TV on while the meal is cooking.
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Morning view
Mystery morning photo?
Got on the computer eventually
Nocturnal pouch left on too long
Health Checks are both high.
Carer Ejaz busy today, helping me out
The bed was very welcome
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I woke late and felt tired but not particularly down mentally. I decided to get the ablutionings done, which turned out to go like this: Very well. The Precelain Throne first. Constipation Conrad is back in charge again. ‘Fully’ in charge. It took a long time for the evacuation to start.
fractured knee I woke up with was hurting a fair bit, but it soon eased.
as a bit of fluid leaking, but nothing to fret about.
At this point, I was doing well, considering, then as I got on the computer… Then the sudden attacks from the three ailments hit me all at once.
all day), and the worst of the three at that time, that was
later, with no pain relief attained, I took a Co-Codamol tablet I bought from Chemist’s 4U on the web.
drinking enough liquid. I gave up on sleep. 
out there. I didn’t scar my legs on the Wheelchair footrests again, though. Hehe! Although I did manage to trap the same finger as yesterday in the sliding glass door. Tsk!
I missed this one off. I’m not sure when I took it, but it is, without a doubt, a photo of my once-beloved tree copse on the lower field, opposite the prison cells, or rather, opposite the block flats where I currently reside. Haha!
I imagine I’m just going bonkers.

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The moment I woke up this morning.
These two were taken this morning by Carer Ejaz.
Blown if I remember what he said, but it made me laugh as he took a snap as I was putting back on a nightshirt after he had Barrier creamed where needed on his body-check. Bless him!
Later, I went onto the balcony to take this shot of the Citrus Walk end car park. Nice parking.
The rain started later on.
The wind was howling near lunchtime.
The rain eased of later on.
Followed by my twisting the fractured knee as I turned with the stick, and dropped the dam thing again! This time, I did fetch the Picker-Upperer.