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WHAT AN ODD NIGHT
It started when I settled in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, rusty, flea-bitten catheter-tube-trapping recliner, to eat my creative evening meal. Whatever made me try this mixture, I’m not sure. I found a long-life ready meal fallen at the back of the cupboard. Sweet & Sour Vegetables. I tipped that into a microwave dish earlier in the day, and got some peas and a potato cooking in the slow cooker to add to it later. I 
got the idea to add some Bombay potatoes to it. Mixed it in and left it all to marinate for a few hours. It was delicious!
Spilling it on my dressing gown was not in the plan! Got cleaned up; the swollen feet were giving me some grief. Got back to finish the feast, and took the tray & dishes to the kitchen to soak overnight.
Turned the lights out when I put the TV on and started watching some recorded episodes of Heartbeat. Perfectly naturally for me, I fell asleep and realised the volume was a little high… Could I find the remote control? No! Well, it took me ages. Got up, searched for the torch, and hunted around. On the verge of deciding I’d have to turn the TV off at the power switch, I found it wrapped in the dressing gown I had to take off that I’d dirtied.
Turned down the sound and turned on a Boon recording. Perfectly naturally for me, I fell asleep.
Could I find the remote control to change the channel? This time, I was certain it had dissolved into the ether. I was on the arm of the £300 second-hand shop purchase in 1966, which was a well-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspiring, and crumb-containing recliner. Now the batteries had gone flat on the torch. I went into the kitchen to get the solar-powered battery, but that had gone AWOL. Back to the main room, for another search, no luck. Then I decided to get the pots washed. During which I knocked a bottle of washing-up liquid off the drainer, it was more lethal than ice skating! An hour later, I’d cleaned up the floor, in a fashion.
Put the light on in the front room for another hunt for the remote control. I found it! I’d put it on the Carers table, that’s within arm’s reach.
TV back on, to see a recorded Heartbeat episode.
Perfectly naturally for me, I fell asleep. Woke with the intentions of switching off the TV… a problem; I could not find the remote control! Never have yet. Turned the TV off at the plug. I realised what time it was in the morning, with all my faffling about. I did a safety check of the flat, taps, lights, stove, cookers, etc., and got my head down.
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Heavenly sleep, I can’t recall waking up at all. But, at 06:25hrs, I burst awake and instantly knew I had to hobble hastily to the Porcelain Throne. As you can see, a bad start to the day. Not the first time, nor, I expect, will it be the last occasion. Humph!
I had a stand-up wash and shave, and did the teggies, then checked on the wetroom cleaning had been done safely.
I got my fresh Kagoule and dressing gown on. Then I Hoovered the hallway. I could wear neither socks, shoes, nor slippers again. This is due to the swollen feet. This also prevented me from going with the Carer to do some shopping. I was looking forward to that, I really was. Tsk!
I got the computer on and found the missing shades and TV remote. Both partway under the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal 
nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner. Got them out using the long picker-upperer. But, it set off Back-Pain-Brenda.
I was so pleased to see Carer Elaz arrive, an excellent Carer whom I trust, as with Mizra.
Ejaz gave me the medications, reminded me to take the K & B Vitamins, and carried out a full body check on me. No one has done that since the last time Ejaz did, Monday, I think. It helped me, having just cleared and washed the infected areas. He checked meticulously and barrier-creamed Phorpain Gelled Back-Pain-Brenda, Swollen-Feet-Francis, Factured-Knee-Frank, Lymphorrhea-Leslies-Legs, Swollen-Toes-Titianna, Shoulder-Shaking-Shirley, and all those in need. Made me a mug of tea, and brought me a few bikkies to dunk. Thanks, Ejaz.
I took two photographs from the kitchenette window. The sunshine was getting hotter and brighter as I pictured these scenes.
I got on the computer, and CorelDraw caused some… er… unknown, unexplained faults for me. Had to save, close, and reopen it. Then it wouldn’t let me delete photographs. And Asif’s man has missed the last three times he said he’d call.
He must just be extremely busy, I suppose.
Ejaz returned for the longer shopping call. I felt horrible not being able to go with him and pick out what I fancy from the shops. Huh!
I blame the medical people. Not really! But they knew I had to drink tons, gallons of water to ease the pain from the Catheter flowback, for four days. Now I have water retention in both legs, feet, and all toes!
The agony was getting too much. Then, fortunately, the lesion in my penis started squirting out urine all over me, the carpet and even the computer!
I had to sit here as the urine suddenly flowed, the bag ever filling up, and the squirty leak from the finger lesion spraying everything, with a large mixing bowl between my legs to try to catch little Inchy’s contribution, for hours until a nurse arrived to save the day. Bless her Cotton-Socks. 💟 I know I may have said all this earlier, but what a thing to go through! Gawd knows how I got through it.
Self-Pity now… Sorry. I went off track there, sorry again, back to blessed Ejaz. Painkillers issued. And gave him the shopping list that I wanted him to get for me, handed him some money & off he shot.
Back on the computer and started the Ode of the day. This time, I think I must have hit the wrong keys. I got up a graph of choices to make, each with a warning that this or that will not work if you accept/take this action. Or, you will not be able to edit after taking this option… Not the foggiest idea what it all meant, but there was no close option on the window. Baffled again. I clicked close on the big window and gave it a minute or two, then opened it again. Phew! Back to normal. This prompted thoughts of the Oligarchs to go on the Ode.
Blimus, it’s getting hot here now. Back into the kitchen to take more sky shots.
When I’m sitting down, there is no pain from the swollen feet whatsoever. The moment I move to stand up, or hobble about, they work overtime on their pain onslaught. Hehe!
Ejaz returned with the shopping. The lad was wringing with sweat.
He had taken the following snaps while out.
To show me what I’d missed. Haha!
Front of Woodthorpe Flats, end of the car park.
On is way out.
Not sure when; Windwood & Winchestrt Courts.
Centre Winwood Court.
Winchester Street Hill.
Up the hill.
Cutting through to the car park, Sherwood.
Mansfield Road
Mansfield Road the other way.
Forists near the Ozan store.
Outside Ozans.
Back at the flats.
Traffic island on Chestnut Way.
Where I am imprisoned,
Voodthorpe Court.
Towards the end of the car park.
The new footpath up the hill.
Wasn’t that kind of him, Ejaz?
Ejaz came up and gave me the nosh he’s bought for me. Three bottles of Soda water, Schweppes.
A classy, grand, costly brand, for me.
Lemon wafers, green tomatoes,
& gigantic potatoes. Hehe!
As Ejaz was ready to go, I felt a sharp pain in my right foot from water retention swelling.
Ejaz had a look and took a photo.
Doesn’t look good at all now.
Not been as painful as this
all day. Mmm?
I got the meal prepped and ready to serve with some beef later tonight.
Carer Ejaz did the late call. Phorpained the right Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, issued medications, and issued a mug of tea and bikkies for me. 👍🏻
A First-Time Long, Active Seizure.
I had a second seizure, that I know of; the first was a mini seizure, the second I believe was a very rare Long Active one. When I came out-of-it to the usual upflux of acid into the throat, mouth, and nose, I was in the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner. My last memory before coming out-of-it was of swearing at CorelDraw as it froze on me… Then, I find myself half-in, half-out of the recliner. I’d taken the bottle of springwater from under the computer with me, and after waiting for my senses to return and getting up on my feet, I spotted that I’d closed down the computer. Why? Had I solved the problem? Had I given up? It really was a blank. I tried to keep calm and even considered calling for help. But it was already too late, gone 22:00 hours. I’d lost two hrs, I reckon.
Then my swollen feet felt the wet on the carpet!
I tried to recall things, water. But I got no help from Memory Mangling Malcolm in response. I felt that we were both puzzled, bemused. I didn’t panic, but a determination arose witin me to find out what I’d been doing. Apart from hobbling around and spilling water everywhere.
I got to the computer chair, to find I’d not only torn the last page from the memory pad, but torn it into tiny pieces and thrown them into the waste bin! Next, I saw that the landline phone was out of its cradle, and the ear drops and diabetes pep drink had been knocked over on the desk.
I then went into the kitchen and found the cold water tap running. Then the bladder backflow hit me from the Catheter tube. Arrgh! seems the most suitable word to use. I guzzled a litre of spring water and part of a litre of soda water straight away. Desperate to avoid the super-agony that I had gone through for the previous days.
Luckily, the pain eased within a minute of drinking the liquids, and the pouch filled rapidly.
Despite still having worries about what else I might have been doing during the seizure. I just had to get back on the computer and check if I’d done something silly, or even fatal, on the machine. Everything was working, but I had not closed down properly. Lost some work on WordPress, but could find nowt else terribly wrong. I closed the computer down, stripped and climbed carefully into bed.
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I regret this is going to have to be a quickie.
. He certainly left his trademark of uncaring emotions with me. ‘Sod-Em-All’
This one U can recall, first of the day, from the kitchen window. First cloud-free morning for ages. I hae a feeling that I got up and took this one earlier.
Think I took this one next.
Then later, this is one of the almost-barren cars parked at the end of the road car park.
Did the second HC checks in the afternoon.
The tree copse was gloomy to see, and winter approaches; the trees change colour, lose their leaves, and look so sad, as if they were depressed.
The last few minutes of 
attention. The flat hats and Bombay Potatoes failed to arrive yesterday, and arrived at teatime. I showed one off, and it looked like I was in a good frame of mind.
Nosh.
urine as I moved. Socks, legs, carpet and slippers soaked again. Got the slippers, shirt, dressing gown and socks off and washed the socks. Got the bowl with Dettol in it to clean my feet and legs, dried off with paper towels. Painful. Taking the
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Just some of the clothing that no longer fits me. Taken in mid-clear-up.
This rack was chocker-block full. At least Joe saved some for me after checking if they should fit onto my chunky, whacking great, super-duper-sized, walloping, cyclopean, elephantine body. Not many!
The rail racking had even less that would fit!
Two 60-litre waste bags full of unfitting clothing were packed and ready to be picked up by Carer Joe later. Joe made a funny quip after we stopped to get the laundry sorted out. I think I said about the drier?
Roasted some potatoes in the oven.
Mixed then in the ready meal.
Just out of the microwave.
, I couldn’t think why.
off that did hurt a bit. She’ll have my shoulder socket ball out one of these flipping days! Hehe!
had returned. I won’t complain; she has given me several days of rest. I’ve missed her roaming stabbing pains. Secretly, whenever she attacks, I try to guess where she’ll hit me next time. Areas so far that have felt her wrath: Neck, jaw, shoulders, arms, back, or, even occasionally, the upper abdomen. That’s her favourite attack route for me. Her abdominal playground is under one arm and around the other. She rarely gets me there. (Just watch how things go now that I’ve just said that!)
Ah, much better!
The part-mystery of this note has been solved.
Butter (by Flora). The only let-down was the so-called Mature Cheddar cheese.
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raised to the maximum.
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Starting
with a visit to the 
.
I was back in control. But once the chunks started evacuating, it took a while for them to stop clunking into the water below. 
A stand-up wash. I didn’t have time to shower in case either the nurses or the Iceland delivery came earlier. I strip washed, soaking the feet as I shaved and did the teggies, then moved on to the self-medicating of my problematic areas. Argh! 
the eyes, Phorpain gelled the knees and cartilages, and ointmentated each Acne and eczema area. As usual, I left the most painful bit to the end.
pulled the skin back, and squeezed the ointment in a drop. That was bad enough, but I had to massage it from the outside each time. Self-imposed agony! But it was nothing to a man of my calibre, heroism and upper pain limit. I may even have been singing to myself as I massaged it in.
delivery came.
Seven carrier bags worth.
I got the fresh stuff away.
Topped up the nurses & carers shelf with the new Pepsi flavours that came.
A well-overfilled filled top cupboard.
The danger of falling through the floor into the flat below the cupboard of cans of food. I shouldn’t starve to death for a month or two! Hehe!
It was my treasured Hristina, the DVT Warfarin Blood Nurse
I then had to store these tinned meals on the floor!
Not as good as yesterdays’
I made too much. But ate ¾ of it.
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The best colour ever, a three!
A dour morning.
Colin Cramps paid a few visits today
Hristina, the DVT Warfarin nurse, arrived and took some blood. I do love her.
Beef & onion in gravy, with colcannon mashed potatoes and carrots, with the last of the milk roll sliced bread used to dunk in the gravy.
with more venom than normally used on me. I think I ate some nibble or other after each enforced-waking-up.
I could not get back to sleep this time. So, I put the TV on, and there were two back-to-back episodes just starting. I would guess that I must have nodded of for a few minutes what seemed like every few minutes. The jerking back to wakefulness was not hindered by 
steadied up, and I had few overnight.
come thick and fast, it might be an idea for me to eat a lot? Hahaha! It seemed to keep her calm tonight!
pipeworks, and I needed to utilise the 
for a second time today. It may have been my uncontrolable hunger and scoffing so much that caused 
to be in total control of the proceedings. No doubt about it, it was the messiest mess for a long time. Maybe months!
! Another rarity
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Joe started sorting out the junk room one. He got a lot done in half an hour. He went down to collect the laundry from the dryer, pointing out that he’d have to bring it up part-wet because he’d done his time. I asked him to leave it and that I’d fetch it later. “Don’t Forget To!” he said.
Depressed, sick & tired of bothering to do anything, but why, you ask (I hope), I’ll tell and show you…
Anny Gyna gave me her first nasty attack of the day… and as I was searching for the mended hearing aids to put in…
The food had dried hard & mega-crispy.
I ate it with some slices of Milk Roll Bread and dunked it in the sauce. Which were the highlights of the meal.
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I collated the things that I needed to take to the Audio Clinic and visited the Porcelain Throne. It was a messy! Trotsky Terence affair.
Soon kicked off, as is typical when I am in a ‘feeling the pressure mode’ over the clinic lifts and appointments. Foggy-Brained!
I’m not sure when the Caregiver will arrive, but I hope he will be here for the delivery to help get it in. Then I can store it away. And get on with the hurried ablutions, medicalisationings, and risky job of getting the trousers on. I’ll get the things to take into the three-wheel-wheeled-walker while I think of it.
Pretty colours this morning
Asda delivery
Ready-made meals (Almost)
They have replaced the stolen wall clock. It has fancy smaller figures, but I’d had my wristwatch on.
I walked along the connecting passageway to Winwood Court in case they (EasyLink) called at the wrong block of flats. Nope!
I decided to prep the meal for the microwave later: Colcanon mash, minced beef, gravy, carrots, peas, and water chestnuts. I put it in the fridge. I also turned on the computer to keep this blog up to date. 
Lightened a smidge, but I was so annoyed at myself!
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Improving nicely now.
Although the ankle is still resistant. I decided not to ask the lad to put any squabs or bandages on tonight.
I had a good meal last night. I gave it a 9/10. As I watched the Brighton v Nottingham Forest FA Cup Match, Sister Jane reminded me of it being on TV when I phoned her. While eating and watching the match, I kept falling asleep. Dagnab it! But the Carer came and woke me up, then the surgery telephoned me. Then the water alarm activated. Then I had to empty the catheter contraption, return to the chair, and doze off while the match was on. I decided to give up. I was just too tired, and I thought I might get a decent night’s sleep in for once. Hahaha!
>>>>>
cream on my 
ankles, tummy, Germoloid groin, and grapefruit-sized right testicle and apply the eye spray, it all went well. Haha! Oh, I did stop the bleeding 
, and I used the ultra-stinging Terbinafine to stop 
the 
bleeding. Went back in the wet room to olive oil my earholes and other missed medicationalisationings. 
I’m not sure if I got the meals in order.
Manifested mightily and toyed with my brain throughout. It was a bizarre, eerie, idiosyncratic, schismatic, almost other-wordly insanity-inviting day!
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episodes and a few of the 
. Did you see that? I was being diagnostic, investigative, and problem-solving, on the verge of being semi-logical in my assessment of the night’s kipping difficulties? 
I removed the night bag from the day bag, and bending down, I got a visit from 
… that was a bad one. In the late afternoon, while on the computer, he called again and was even more effective. I had a good few today.
It looked bleak outside, with a bit of drizzle.
I did some hoovering and sorted the waste bins. Then, I felt guilty about the mess in the wet room that still needed to be cleaned, so I went to the wet room.
1
, gave way and I dropped the walking stick. I slid down with my back against the wall and plumped on a pack of six (approx. 5-inches high) mini-mineral spring water bottles onto my bum. With both knees doubled up, Arthur Itis and the Cartilages were agony!
The fridge.
The freezer.
The waters.
I took another kitchen window shot.
The day’s original Beloved Copse shot
To the left of the window and down a bit.
A ready-made beef in gravy with colcannon mashed potatoes. I added the last can of minced beef in gravy, carrots, and peas. Added some Marmite to the mixture and stirred it all up. Just four minutes in the microwave & it was ready-to-eat. 
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First one.
My beloved tree copse.
Cavendish Vale
CorelDraw problems again.
This might be out of sync timewise?
Green skies, as well.
After the last two nights of sleeping in bed, the nocturnal seizure stopped any silly thoughts of sleeping. So, after burning my lamburgers, don’t think that this pissed me off and got me all angry and annoyed with myself. I wet back to using the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner, in hopes of nodding off.
kicked off.
!