– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I’d like to relate a little anecdotage,
I’m losing my grip on life in my dotage!
My financial situation can be called in arrearage,
The medics can’t mend my wee wee appendage!
I have no willpower, respect or appanage,
So, I consulted a Sherwood archaeologist…
He dismissed me as being human sullage,
He checked on my lineage,
Suggested I go live in a hermitage,
Although a wizard, he was more like a hucksterage,
My nerve rash started getting blotchier,
He said: I know what’s up with yer…,
Like many old farts, you’re angry at Starmer!
Yer blood’s boiling at Keir and your bank manager,
There’s no one at home to give you a blether,
And look at the state of the bloody weather!
I can see yer at the end of your tether…
Yer cookers’ broke, standing in yer corridor…
Can’t cook or pissed, you’ve lost your composure,
Problems with your heating & the computer,
Cancer, Renauds, toothache & painful catheter,
Starmer, Rachel Reeves, the HMG chancellor,
Yer feelin’ sorry for yersen, yer silly old dodderer!
Doreen Dementia depresses yer,
The solution is available for you,
For £500, I’ll reveal what it is, too!
Go home and think it over, and come back Tuesday at two.
So I went back all punctual, expecting a natter and brew…
They told me he’d died last night on the loo!
More dreams like this, & I don’t know what I’ll do!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – -.
I was up at 04:00hrs to give myself plenty of time to shower, shave, and complete another visit to the Porcelain Throne in time for food delivery from Ocado. A Trotsky Terence controlled evacuation, and all over within 20 seconds of getting my tight little bottie settled on the plastic WC seat. Splush… all done!
This ablution session took me over two hours, which was nothing unusual. I was all done abluting and started to get the medicationalisationings done.
Unfortunately, after yesterday and the five nurses’ attempts to get the tube back in the bladder via poor little Inchie, He was very delicate this morning. So, ointmentating the fungal lesion was even more painful than ever. It brought tears to my eyes!
But I got that done, and then I Phorpain gelled the cartilages of Chloe and Carole. Then, I did Arthur Itis’s left and right patellas with the same gel. Olive oiled the ears, put the
Blepha gel in the left eye, and Chloramphenicol drops into the right eye. (Well, most of it ended up down my chest and on the floor!)
I got some Germolid ointment on my bottie to help soothe Harold’s Haemorrhoids. Always 
a pleasure doing that. 
Then, the Acne & Excema medications are under and on the arms, the flabby drooping belly, the head, and the neck. Yes, it’s spreading again!
Next, congestion relief was sprayed onto the 
nasal area, and the Anti-Bleed swabbed when that cleared. The Nozohaem was kept handy, but it was not required.
Then, a miracle occurred!
I could not understand why it was so easy this morning, but I still felt smug when I put on the fresh Protection Pants, pulled them up, and adjusted them without catching the catheter netting or anything—in less time than it took me to take the old ones off! Brilliant! I still can’t believe it myself! Did I dream it or have a mini-seizure?
I cleaned up the wet room, took the waste bag and the used catheter bag to make up a larger one, and saw it was only 06:10 hrs! I’d done all that in just over two hours. But, being me, doubts lingered that I may have got the starting time or waking up time wrong. This took the edge off of my temporary period of almost glee and pride.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
COMPUTER NOT UP TO SCRATCH TODAY
I took this snap just before going to the wet room. You can’t see the snow in this one, but it’s stubbornly time-melting.
Very sad about all the photos I took, I can tell you! Heartbreaking.
I’ve lost the compunction… is that the right word? I’ll look it up… No that’s the wrong word altogether. I’ve lost interest in even trying to get this blog done. It’s already gone 20:00hrs, and I’m only up to here with it. I keep trying to get the photos on, but it takes so long using the Ccleaner that my pride and heart are not in it. For the first time ever as well. Still, it’s been a busy day again, interruptions, mistakes and the damned mini-seizures. I had a lot of them today, two when one carer was here and another with a different carer. I’m fuddled.
There was a mammoth cock-up again with the food orders. I would have sworn that I made one order for today and another with a different shop for next 
Wednesday. First, the Ocado delivery arrived. Then, this evening, the Tesco order arrived! No photos can be saved again, yet it let me do these above, then died on me again.
The computer let me upload these tonight, and later it saved them. Huh!
I think technology, ill health, mental & physical are getting 
too much for me.
Half of what took place needn’t have bothered me. I know that I had a carer doing the financial checks today, but who it was and two mini-seizures during the visit have left me well-baffled.
I’ve just run my neighbour and Angel of Mercy Jenny. I ordered cream cakes next Wednesday, and I now have two boxes. Her hubby, my mate Frank, kindly came up to collect them, along with a few bits that I would never eat, and they were short-dated. So, at least they have not been wasted and got to where they were intended for. I’d be lost without Jenny & Frank.
Sorry, but I’ve had enough today.
I’ll see how things go in the morning.
Fingers crossed.
I’ll make something to eat. I might even photograph it… but will the computer allow me to file it, or even load them?
Feeling dejected, that was the word!
Hope to see you in the morning.
Well, it’s evening now on Thursday.
But I did get some photos saved.
The 2nd delivery
I am a fool!
Tomatoes, potatoes, chestnuts, and chestnuts, with two really-filled ham rolls, with no-butter butter, & a dab of Marmite.
The potatoes were not very good.
Evening all! The snow melting.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFN & Have a great day!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
A better week, apart from the glitches with the urine
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
A zoomed-in early morning picture of the sun coming up from behind the flats.
This morning’s efforts.
Is my urine going darker again?
Renaurds affected feet and toes. I made a mess of the photo; I assume I’d put the flash on, so it looks weird.
Morning all.
It looked like some clouds were going to land.
Mature cheese thickly spread sarnies with some Marmite added. Red onions, fish sticks & beetroot. Another pot of Limoncello lusciously licked off of the spoon, Haha!
I added some more alcohol to my bottle of spring water.
I got an unintentional artistic wobble on.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I had a visit from Grim Reaper 8,2,449,26 Vizi,
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
when it came time to get up and prepare for the food delivery I nodded off again. What I thought was five minutes later, I shot awake for the umpteenth time and I began to haul my abdominous-bellied body from the grasp of the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, tatty Haemorrhoid Harold testing recliner. I did the 40-second balance exercises and dragged myself carefully upright onto my legs to get to my 
.
the kitchen for me. Then he 
I’d forgotten to order some fresh tomatoes. Humph! Still, I’ve a few left to be used, but they are a few days old.
The fish sticks and the meat were in the refrigerator; I forgot to check the dates, so I delved into the fridge again but could only read two.
Cheesy cobs and the Milk Roll sliced loaves of bread were put in the freezer, ready for use later. I kept out one pack of cobs to use today and put the butter 
in the fridge. Two ready-made meals went in with the butter. One potato cheese, onion, and a sweet & sour one with rice joined the butter and lemon 
yoghourts & desserts. The rest went into a cupboard: tea bags, cider, pork knuckle, bicarbonate of soda, and the Veggie cookies.
Then it was off to the wet room for a wash and Porcelain Throne session. Another torpedo, and again followed by some sticky wet waste product. That bit was messy.
I took this snap from the kitchenette window sometime in the afternoon. While checking if it had gone on the SD card, I saw a fantastic flowering bush in part of the garden in front of the two houses. I took a close-up 
photo of it. I wondered if anyone in the blogosphere knows its name?
The photos were not saved again
bread, etc. Losing the use of the cuts down on chips!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Close up from the kitchen window, trying to get the trees and bushes to see the changing colours.
Afternoon, I think.
Sunset.
Nosh.
Not sure if I’ve used this one before or not.
Carer Kimberly.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
By 04:00 hrs, I was up and about, almost alive, really. I went to the wet room, where I unwillingly spent about fifteen minutes waiting and forcing, encouraging the motion to move. Eventually, a long, broad, massive torpedo slowly emerged. I remained seated for a short while, half in relief of the riddance finishing and half to catch my breath. It was agony and hard work this morning. There was no mess, no 
bleeding. Great! Mind you, Harold’s Haemorrhoids suffered a fair bit, and they bled. The Germoloids were utilised. 
The Iceland order arrived.
delivered.
The Christmas seasonal coffee I bought for the carers & nurses had a short use-by date on them. On the other hand, the freezer looked well cram-packed, but this was deceiving.
Had his quota of cheese,
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
He should have put ‘one word to describe this ode.’ Tsk!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Frighteningly dark urine in the nocturnal bag!.
Another bit of good and bad news.
I took this snap of the carrier bags in my super-massive hallway (Hehe!) I could see some objects formed by the bags. Can you see anything in there?
Got the fridge filled a bit now.
The Pukka pies are a new product.
Before starting the blog, I popped into the balcony to see if anything would be worth photoing and was greeted with
A great choice was in the fridge if I fancied a sarnie to nibble on yeast extract, Asda, and Vegemite. They are also good as flavouring in some meals, the ones I used to make using the oven that I can no longer do due to the demise of the oven. I’ve only had it for… Ah, yes. I think it was 2008 when I bought it. I 
can’t get another one until the funds build up. But, I’ve got the microwave and a diddy air-fryer, so I’ll be able to cope with my usual aplomb and calm, capably copeable manner as I do with these things
. 
time. I did hit my shoulder on the doorframe, entering the wet room. I never used to do this when I had a cataract problem. This Glaucoma Gladys ailment must be worse than the cataract? But, they tell me it will be treated with a laser, in the same way, but it will take a lot longer, and I’ll have to take someone, relative, friend or caregiver with me to have the procedure at the hospital. No relative or friend to help, so a costly carer is the option. But the hospital has to write in the appointment that I ‘Have’ to bring a carer with me, and not just say they advise me to get one.
Much to my surprise, the computer, which had been a bugger for not letting me save things, allowed me to save last night’s sunset views that I tried and failed to go two or three times yesterday. YeeHaa! 
.
did!
was oozing blood a smidge worryingly. I had to change the 
protective pants; they were stained a lot.
started again, some, most, only latest for seconds. It destroyed what bit of concentration & confidence I had. It was getting late, and I gave up.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
After yet another night of jumping awake, at 05:00, I gave up trying for the elusive sleep, and I gingerly removed the nocturnal catheter pouch, grabbed a hold of 
and off to the kitchen for safety checks and got the kettle on. The taps, cooker and fridge looked okay, and I had what must have been one of the longest-ever bubbly-sounding passings of wind that I can ever remember. It was pongy and two-tone at times! I 
diverted to the wet room without any delay.
Cleaning it up took me years. I managed to knock 
.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
State Pensioners may be hit by tax hikes totalling over £14,000 from Wednesday when the new budget is unveiled. Labour has pledged not to raise Income Tax, VAT, or employees’ National Insurance contributions. Prime Minister Keir ‘Killer’ Starmer has cautioned that the nation’s “£22bn black hole” must be addressed, suggesting other taxes are likely to increase.
noxaparin hypodermic, as it had leaked and was empty. And almost casually hobbled unrushingly to the wet room. Not that I was sure I would need it; it’s very rare that I do. 
bottom where things hang down a bit. Naturally, after the Constipation Conrad battle, things were terribly sore. The Germoloid soon started calming things down as it was washed and applied. I used a kitchen roll to dry that zone, and then I could check to see if there were any specks of blood, which, surprisingly, were on the towel. But not each time I wiped the area. Challenging to check cause if I twisted and bent with the mirror to try and see, the dangers were apparent, and the blood was only a few tiny specks. So, I 
got on with the most painful and sometimes frighteningly painful task of getting the 
ointment inside Little Inchie… Arrgh
appointment, to ring to see if I can get a lift to the Doctor’s appointment. 
ded to do: ears, eyes, ankle ulcer, Cartilages, Carole and Chloe, Arthur Itis, etc.
Then, I refitted the new Catheter pouch, bag and strappings. 
Ruled for hours, out of the blue.
I think this was the first shot of the day.
Waste bags I took to the chute.
Asda order.
Made a cock-up here!
Aha, fresh foods!
Chips, lamb burgers & ready meals.
Afternoon shot?
Evening.
A bit later… I think.
Even later, as Carer Chrisa arrived.
Minced lamb & onions, potatoes,
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Regretfully, the computer did not let me save many pictures today. I have not recorded my thoughts here to avoid being prosecuted for blogging them, as they were unacceptable for publication. 
shock up my right leg. I was waking up so often so often. I gave up on the silly thought and expectation of getting any sleep and got up around 04:00hrs. The first thing I noticed as the brain fog cleared was the scary colour of the urine in the catheter bag as I removed it from the day pouch. I took a cracking snap of it, and it came out the exact same colour & hue as my eyes saw it. That might get me some sympathy, I thought. But, no!
After Richard had left, the need for the Porcelain Throne arose, and I hastened to the wet room. I sat down in time today, avoiding a third day of embarrassment by not making it in time! Trotsky Terence ruled again, as I knew he would by the rumbling and almost squelching from the innards.
I was getting increasingly frustrated with the computer and went to the kitchen to do the safety checks. During last night’s cooking, I discovered 
that I’d left the slow cooker turned on for about 18 hours without realising because there was nothing in it. Well, there are now
rigmarole was completed for the third time today, it let me save photos of it its own choice but not others. I’m fed up! Here they are. I snapped these first thing this morning. But didn’t do such an excellent job of them as 
I’d hoped to this time. 
The photo I’d taken of the returned slipper was saved and used. Oh, I’d better check that they haven’t fallen off the towel trickle heater. They’ve
all dried now, last night’s pee’d on tartan-coloured slipper I put in the laundry bag.
Not the foggiest what they were about.
I’m getting to the point of no return, I think.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
They are busy, thought this might cheer them up!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
T
Gorrit, this time.
I used the ready-made mini pot of gravy for the meal. It saved a lot of time in preparing real gravy. Shake the pot rigorously, then microwave for one minute, wait 30 seconds and heat for another minute. What could be easier?