Friday 26th August 2022

Opening Political Cartoon
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I woke up and was on my way to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) within 30-seconds of stirring back into ersatz life! With managing to almost fall out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner last night. I don’t know how I didn’t lose contact with the Amazon-bought, uncomfortable, plastic-peeling-off-of swivel chair! Hahaha! Yes, I’d fallen asleep at the computer!

The wee-wee was of the variety of UTD (Unwilling-Trickling-Dribbling) and CM (Cessational-Micturitional dribbling). The after-dribble after the initial wee-wee, possibly tool three times longer!
As I turned back with the bucket to be emptied held in my hands, I stubbed my toe against the ottoman! My reaction to saving the bucket from being dropped; was nothing short of a miracle. I dropped it, but not from a great height, and the liquid stayed in the bucket. Naturally, as the pain shot up the leg to the brain, I merely laughed it off. No cursing whatsoever.

I got the bucket emptied, sanitised and disinfected, and got on with the task of sphygmomanometerisationing.
I was jolly-well pleased with the Blood

Pressure figures. I put them in the medical site’s programme and returned this descriptive graph. I remembered that the Riverside Diabetes meeting for today had been cancelled as I was doing the readings.
I added my graphics to it in the name of entertainment… and because I love making them for a bit of fun.
After four days in the red zone, one day nearly of-off the graph: Things seem much improved today. Back in the amber area, that’s where I like it to be as well. Although two years ago, I had one day in the green Zone. Yes! That’s been my target ever since! If I live long enough, I might achieve this.

Aha! My spirits rose enormously! This morning’s Carer was Carol-Anne! Not seen her for months, many months. I thought she’d left to be honest.
What a precious gal. I had to give her a kiss and cuddle on her arrival. Carole didn’t mind, bless her. She spoke of the extra hour on Fridays, not having been since it was so-called arranged. I explained: It was initially for the Carer to do the laundry. But sometimes the laundry would come back not dried, and the clothing wrinkly. Also, I had not had socks, bobble hats, and shirts returned. Conversely, I have made a hand towel, tea towel, and pair of ladies’ knickers. I’m still paying for the hour, even though I’m paying Esther to do the laundry. She does a good job, and Esther hangs up the trews and shirts for me. Also as well as and besides that, she sews missing buttons on for me. Carol and I had an excellent nattering session, mostly me bemoaning my plight with the Diabetes, PN and Doctors farce. As I was paying for the hour, she lent me an ear. Hehehe! She checked the dates on the stuff in the fridge for me, cheese and ready meal found out of date. She will talk with my Doctor for me when she gets back to work. Carol has a few days off, going with her Mum away for a while. Great! She had to rush off after the hour, another call to make.

I spent many hours on CorelDraw before getting onto the blogging. Most of it was accompanied by Herbert’s mechanical concert from above. Percussion and drums mostly, with an odd clunk, throw in for good measure.

It was well into the afternoon before I started the daily ode and cartoon-creating. But I love doing the blog. Sometimes my hoard of followers and fans comment on them, you know. Why, on one day, only last month, both of them did!

That took a while too. Better get summat to eat before the evening carer arrives. Now then, what’s in the fridge freezer to have? I shall investigate… hang on; I’ve got some potatoes already on the boil.

Hang on, I’ve got to get the Warfarin tablets cut. So, I will do that. All done!
I’ll get a meal of some sort sorted out. Potatoes, tomatoes, and pretend fish sticks, it looks like. Good job. I’ve got the JS order coming on Sunday. It’s looking bare in the fridge after throwing away the short and out-of-date food. Tsk!

I’ll have a rummage around to see what can be found. To make a decent meal… Doreen makes me feel a schlemiel!

Well, I managed to knock up a half-acceptable-looking plate of fodder.
Imitation fish sticks, crispy onions, tomatoes, gherkins and those terribly-tasteless so-called by J Sainsbury, new potatoes. The overall flavour score was 6.4/10. The tomatoes and pretend fish sticks were not bad.

Arrived late, into that it mattered to me. Two Carers, one presumably a trainee. I was in a half-daze from being rudely awakened (Haha!), so I cannot say who it was that came or what happened. I recall telling them to help themselves to a treat on the top of the bookcase. Then walking to the door with them to lock it and wishing them well.

After that, I got down in the recliner again and started to watch the end of the heartbeat programme. I and my nodding off again. I woke for a wee-wee with a mammoth amount of

Back to the TV, nodded off again, and woke for another wee-wee! With the regulation .

Fell asleep again and woke up with the Dirty Harry film being shown; it was just starting. I decided to try and enjoy viewing it and bugger the sleeping. Ah, I like Clint Eastwood films.

At least another ten or twelve times and had to have four more wee-wees.

Woke up with the film credits scrolling down the screen! Well, that was Farcical!

I was worn out by then.
One final wee-wee with , and off to the wet room to clean and freshen up. Changed into new PPs, of course.
Straight off into the land of nod when got down again.
Overnight, I had to force myself awake eight more times for a wee-wee! Each one was short and sharp. Thankfully there were no more leakages, seepages or in these ones.

What an Oddlimost day!

ENDING POLITICAL CARTOON

Thursday 25th august 2022 – Diary, Cartoons & Ode

Cartoon to start with a laugh!

I didn’t get up this morning because I was already up before midnight. Sweet Morpheus is not happy with me and is withholding his services. Hehe! The Swine! I spent a few hours finishing off the Wednesday blog and got it sent off.
Then the sphygmomanometerisationing had to be tackled. What happened with the Photographicalisationings I don’t know; the first one looks like a terribly bad effort! Well, it was! But, the BP results greatly improved over the last four days. Just look where the cross was placed this morning. ♫Way down♫ – as the Elvis song went! Hehe! I liked that later song of his. Poor Elvis, drugs and beefburgers got to him. Shame!

Right in the amber zone! I decorated the return graph in celebration of the miraculous drop in BP! I saw that the body temperature was way down, and it’s been so good lately. I can’t win them all!

Arrived A little earlier than usual. But the lad saw how tired and drained I was, straight away he picked up on it, and he asked what had happened. I told him about the no-sleep night. He proceeded to get the medications sorted, licked up his bag of treats, and said he was leaving early, so I could get back to bed to try again. So no nattering like yesterday, Tsk! Richard said as he left that he was going out for the day with his Sister, So that cheered me up a bit; he doesn’t get out much, good for him!

I got a landline call come in. It was a lady at the Riverside Centre about tomorrow’s Diabetes Defence lesson. The meeting has been cancelled because the room is not available. ? It’s been rearranged fro next Friday instead. I phoned ILC, Warden (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenführeress and Lap-Top Dancer Deana, and she kindly rang the taxi transport to let them know. ♥

I took this using the Lumix camera, as the Canon no longer lets me take photos. I don’t know what I altered or the wrong selections I made when I pressed the go button; I got a beep-beep-beep, and a red icon flashed. Then the camera turns itself off. I’m in a pickle now as the eyes get steadily worse every day, even using the spyglass. Which is not a good idea! Cause if Cataract Cathy doesn’t get me, PN Pete does, and I’ve already dropped the new-‘old’ Lumix at least three times!

Oh, I forgot the photo of the legs I took earlier. Not a pretty sight. But, then again, they’ve been worse, so they’ll do. At least they were not stinging or hurting much at all.

Made a start on this template at long last. And heard that off unrecognisable noise was back again. Sounds like it’s coming from above. It sounds like a motor running, whining. Still, it won’t stop my sleeping… Sweet Morpheus had done an excellent job of that already. Then, made up this Ode. It took a while.

Odes to Sweet Morpheus…

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Blimus! It’s nearly 17:00hrs – What happened to the day? I think maybe I fell asleep in the computer chair. I certainly hope I didn’t have another Mind-Blank. Oh, dearie me! The day’s done for me now. Weird or what?

I’ll get a meal made then. Humph! The evening Carer is due soon.
I took what I thought was a great photo of the meal on the serving tray. But, yet again this time on the Lumix, the photo is displayed on the viewer window. But in the morning when I got to put the pictures on the computer, this one and two others had disappeared into the either? All a part of the mysteries and enigmas of Woodthorpe Court! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for me to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and baffle me!

Jozeph arrived. Mentioned that I looked shattered, and that cheered me up; Hehehe! He was right, of course. Jozeph sorted the medications and was soon off, kindly leaving me to get some sleep.
I stripped off and got the TV back on to watch a Heartbeat episode. As soon as I felt the eyelids drooping, I turned off the box. And blissfully sank into a welcome deep sleep, Ah!

Greatly annoying but unavoidable; over the next hour or so, I had to get up at least ten times for a wee-wee! Every one of them was of the SSSSAO (Short-Sharp-Sprinkly-Spraying-All-Over) variety. With varying degrees of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling): so cleaning and sanitising were needed on most visits. I was getting somewhat agitated with all the interruptions. And hoped that things would settle soon in the bladder department soon.
After getting resettled in the second-hand, £300 charity shop bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner for about the tenth time, the wee-weeing suddenly stopped. Astounding!
GC sleepAI drifted off into a deep but dream-filled sleep. No specifics about the dreams… but I think I was enjoying them, though. Then…


I woke up due to the pain from Harold’s Haemorrhoids. As my bum hit the edges of the recliner as my body mass was slipping off the recliner!
I managed to stop the humungously overweight clump of a body from leaving the seat fully, But the rear end bleeding was soon apparent. So, up I struggled but made my way to the wet room for cleaning and medicationalisationing of poor Harold’s Haemorrhoids. During this, I did my best to remember the dream again. But no luck. I’d love to have known what I was doing in the sleep that was physical enough to have me out of the recliner? I got my lower rear region cleaned and medicated. Realising I’d lost any chance of getting back to sleep, I decided to stay up. Went to make a brew of Thompson Punjana tea and took this very strange time in the morning photo of the sky from the kitchenette window. Bootiful!

And I got the computer started. A lot of catching up and amending to get done this morning.

I woke up around 04:00hrs; Sat sitting on the computer chair, which is where I’d been sleeping! Ha!

LAST POLITICAL FUNNY

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Inchcock: Friday 5th Aug 22 – Diary & Odes

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Inchcock’s Waffling No: 23⅒th
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06:50hrs. What a sleep that was at last. Ready for this… Six-Hours! Grrreat! The ankle ulcer had come up overnight and was tingling & stinging a bit. The right foot and leg were more swollen and colourful as well. So, I took this snapshot. I just can’t understand why the Tate Gallery has not noticed the state of my legs and bought my photos.
After six uninterrupted hours of gorgeous sleep, I was not surprised that the wee-wees started flowing and regularly. Each session was followed by after-micturitional leaking. Bit of a nuisance having to wait so long and make sure any extra squirts or leaks had all finished. Still, that’s a fact of life nowadays.

I went into sphygmomanometerisationing mode and got the Health Checks done.

The BP had gone up a smidgeon, but nothing too risky. God results still.
Barely into the red zone, yet again. I don’t know why it has been so good this past month, but I adopted a well-deserved one. How long can this go on? It seems to have settled so well. Fingers crossed that it continues.
I started to do the layout for this template and got a whiff of my B,O., so I decided that as soon the morning Carer has been, I’ll get the ablutioning done. Seconds later, ♫ Oh. Susana ♫ sounded from the door chime.

Came in and got my medications sorted out. Val’s weekly treat of Strawberries had arrived, and I issued them in thanks to Valerie, and off she went – forgetting for the first time ever to take the waste bags with her. I was rushing her a bit so I could get the ablutioning done, though, so, not her fault.

I went into the wet room to clean up my massively overweight bobby body and assorted knick-knacks. But found that the job of cleaning up the wet room floor I did yesterday, I think it was, was of inferior quality. The floor had bits on it, black, that stuck like glue to the surface. Where they came from puzzled me. (As a lot of things tend to do nowadays, Hehe!)  I just about crippled myself getting down and up again so often, after each time, and found I’d missed some. to blame, mayhaps?
By the time I got around to doing any ablutioning, I was well worn out and had some new aches. Hehe! As I started with the teeth cleaning, I had to double check that the scrubbing brush, bleach, mop, and bucket had not been left in my own way in the shower area. So glad I checked, for the bleach was under the shower, and going in there without any glasses on, I might have avoided an !
At long last, a weary and battered Inchy got on with the job in hand. Teggies have already been done, and I got on with the shaving. And only had two tiny nicks in the process. However, I did manage to break one of the new razors, and not a cheap Bic; Oh no! One of the four-bladed ones! How is it a mystery? I don’t think I could break one if I tried to.
The showering went well, apart from clouting my shoulder against the towel rail and starting Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley off. The lower regions, front and rear, were then medicated. The ear holes were olive-oiled. The eye drops were dropped in; well, most of them ended up on the cheek and then ran down into the moustache, turning it into a temporary brown from grey. Little Inchies fungal lesion is the most painful ailment to treat (As usual). Deodorised, dressed, and off to make a brew of Glengettie tea. Noticed the beautiful puffer clouds in view in the sky again. I do love so to see these up there. I tried a bit of pareidoliaing and found two figures in this photograph on the left.

I got some potatoes out, sorted them and got the good ones in the saucepan on a low heat setting. Then realised I had the fresh chips in the fridge with a short use-by-date that needed consuming. Then the dithering started. Shall I have the potatoes and end up wasting the ready-made chips?
I sort of left any decision in the air. I’m good at that, being indecisive, you know? I went to check on the other dates in the fridge but could only manage to decipher a couple of them. Carer Richard was in such a rush yesterday that he forgot to investigate for me. And of course, I forgot to ask him to. Hey-Ho! The lad was worn-out and tired, bless him. I hope he can get a good rest during his break. and does not get called in. He’s due a bit of good luck, and I hope Sweet Morpheus can supply it for the lad.

Later, I felt the stinging from the ankle ulcer and looked at the ankle and legs again. See what’s what with it. It (the ankle ulcer) now looked so much calmer. And yet it was stinging more than before when it was all swollen and glowing?
Beats me. Then again, most things do nowadays.
Back onto CorelDraw to make another Ode that had come into my distorted mind.

Here it is; sorry!

Waffling Ode Number 19⅑th

Cloud Photo of the Year!

Absolutely bootiful!

The Morrison order for Tuesday; that I started yesterday and gave up on when it needed verification and Code numbers from an outside source to log on was annoying. Well, believe it or not, I got a code to use this morning, by text, from the bank??? I used the number and finished the order that was still on site. Two things worry me…❶ I clicked buy now, and another email, confirmation from Morrison’s, told me I had ordered it for next Sunday, not Tuesday. ❷ Have I been hacked, scammed, fiddled, or not? Worried now!

Pressed on with this Ode, I knew I’d get around to it eventually, but not as late as this. Gone eleven o’clock!

03:00hrs: Decided to get something to eat; the blog will have to wait.

Ah, the mushroom pate is not as good as the Sainsbury one, but very lovely. Fresh ready-prepared oven chips, last of bullet-hard beetroot, and tomatoes. Wholemeal cobs, BBQ dip, and for afters: An orange jelly, with squirty low-fat imitation, pretend cream sprayed all over it. Flavour rating; 6.9/10, the chips (fries) let it down.

Got the pot’s washed, and I settled to watch an episode of Kitchen Nightmares. Fell asleep, and the landline burst forth, waking me crudely! I bungled my way out of the c1968 recliner to get to the phone before it stopped; “Hello?” – “Mr Chambers, Gerald?” “Yes, is that Hristina?” And it was my beautiful, beloved Haematology Nurse. I think she said she would be coming to take the blood sample on Monday. She had a clear voice on the phone and seemed impressed that I recognised her voice. A picture of her came into my mind… that’s why I’m not sure if it was Monday or Tuesday she would be calling. I tend to get excited when she calls me.

I resettled in the c1963 recliner, and I started to watch the TV, but I drifted off into a much-needed sleep… Not for long!
♫ Oh, Susana ♫… Joseph, the evening carer, woke me up. His shaky-right leg was going like the clappers tonight when he sat down. Got the medications sorted and gave him his choice of the thank-you treats. (Woo-Woo, I think?) Saw him off and locked the front door.

Got down in the recliner once again, determined to get some sleep… But No! As I was drifting off, I felt the dreaded wet warm sensation in the PPs (Protection Pants). I was certain that I’d had a leak. So, up yet again, and to the wet room to wash and get new PPs on. , It was worse,
So cleaning up and medicationalisationing was needed.

I noticed the glow from the late sun setting and just had to take a photo of it. A misty, unclear, but mood-prompting shot, so I thought.
The body was tired, the mind ready to be switched off, I got down in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, rusty, wobbly-recliner for the umpteenth time.

Up now this Friday, I must have dropped off to sleep, on the insistence of my body & brain, so many times. And every time, someone or thing woke me up. I think this must have confused my already unreliable brain. Cause when I got down in the recliner this time, in search of Sweet Morpheus, it refused to let me drift off! It was hours (and oh, so many wee-wees before I finally got off!

Fed Up? Me? Yes! Hehehe!