Carer Ejaz

Inchie: Sunday 1st March 2026

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

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Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, Errors, Dark, Dank Depression Darius, Tumbles,  Frustrationes, Mistakes, Embarrassments, Humiliations, Explosion, etc.
Each of the daily emotionally challenging visitors above seems to be an embedded, permanent aspect of Inchie’s daily life. (Well, I say life, life, that may be an extended pretence for his existence & struggles as he continues to survive, wondering what for & why.) Inchie can’t recollect the word he was going to use at this precise moment. Today’s main offenders were:
Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, and 
Depression Darius. Much of the day’s events will be missing or brief due to the inordinately long time it took to implement countermeasures after the explosion. I used the word explosion here to catch your attention. Hehe! 
Not to mention the pain caused to Bad-Back-Brenda, Fractured Knee Frank, and a new head injury incurred when sorting out the after-effects of the calamity.
Hope that got you wanting to know more with bated breath? The clean-up operation took me over three hours! With another hour & a half worth of help from the Carer on three of his calls. The entire flat has a sweet, pungent whiff floating about this morning, seventeen hours after the incident was cleaned up.
The volatile liquid covered the whole kitchen floor… more later, in between the usual boring stuff I pen.
Have I whetted your appetite for the story?
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A lousy night’s sleep, broken waking, worrying, nodding off, waking, worrying, farting, nodding off, waking, belching, Shaking Shoulder Shirley belting away, nodded off, woken up this time by Twitching Neck Ted, fell asleep…. Enough of that.

Ejaz arrived, medications given, a full-body check, Phorpain gelled, toes and ankles creamed and medicated. Fresh socks put back on. 

Care Mizra called. Pouch checked & emptied. Painkillers and Peptac given. I mentioned the NCC email needing clarification at a council link. He got it up and led me through filling it in. Which was great. Had he not been helping, there were times, if I’d tried to do it on my own, I’d have made errors. Saved the day, got it done. Thanks, Mizra!

Although I didn’t realise it at the time, had I done so, hours and hours of painful, Accifauxpa-inducing cleaning up the mess could have been avoided.
Which verifies my rotten luck, I’m always getting up to investigate noises; was it the tao overflowing, the water alarm, had something fallen over, etc. and always (but not this time, Oh, no! I could spit) check!

NOW, THE HAPPENINGS BEGIN!
As Mizra departed, I thought I heard a noise, similar to when someone doesn’t fully shut the door, and as they opened the foyer door to the lift area, the flat door slammed shut in the draft. It was just like that sound, so I didn’t even give it much thought. I was getting back into doing the Ode for the blog. 
A mistake that cost me so much angst, pain, and took me hours to clean up… As I stood up, about an hour later, to make a brew, I could smell something but not identify it. To the kitchenette door and stopped so suddenly, I dropped the walking stick. All I could see in the kitchen was what I thought was water covering 80% of the floor! A panic came… I started shuddering and shaking, but knew that I needed to turn off the tap, which meant walking into the deep water. So I did. Walking stickless in my haste. One step into the kitchen, I saw that the tap was not running. I looked up at the ceiling for signs of incoming water, but there were none. Then the smell hit me, and I felt giddy. I realised then that it was bleach. I looked at where I’d left the 5-litre container of thick bleach, seeing it on the floor, burst open. I thought casually as I recalled then, ‘Well, that’s me in the shit – Again!’
Damned good job that I had so many rolls of kitchen towels at hand. I threw them into the water as best I could to help soak up the bleach. Then foolishly stepped forward to get the paper to go all the way into the kitchen, and all but slipped over on the thick bleach. I used about five kitchen rolls’ worth of paper and intended to give it a few minutes, then see if it was safe to add more paper. Then realised that my Kagoule and dressing gown had made contact with the bleach! They were rotting away as I looked at them. I strangely thought this could make a horror movie that people would believe, Hehe!
BUT IT GOT WORSE!
I withdrew from the battleground into the wet room, tore off my dressing gown and Khagoule, and placed them in plastic bags for the rubbish chute.
Had a rinse, and got another dressing gown on, as I did, there must have been some bleach dripped onto the floor, which my foot found and Whoopsiedangleplop, down I went, oddly enough, catching and activating my alarm wristlet as I crumpled onto the shower chair. Struggling up onto my feet again, I heard the NCC monitor controller speaking. Went to the room and said I just had a tumble setting the alarm off at the same time. But, no. I explained about the bleach, and she asked ARE YOU INJURED – No! “We can do nothing about your water. Wait until a Carer comes. When is one due?” About 2-hours. If it is a leak, call our maintenance or repairs.
Thank you, kindly, [Tut], I rang off.
Back to the kitchen and spread some more paper towels to help soak up some of the bleach, left it for a few minutes, then went back to gather what I could into waste bags.
Have another go with fresh towelling, and then I began the slow, painful job of mopping and rinsing out the mop often. This involved rinsing the mop in the sink with cold water, then using the wetroom tap to part-fill the bucket for another pass over the floor. Naturally, the bucket needed to be rinsed after each use. Using a small jug to get the water from the sink to the bucket. The smell got to me again, and I kept feeling a bit giddy. I did this six times in all. I had opened the windows. This snap on the right was how it looked on the fifth attempt. I was in a lot of pain by then. Back, shoulder and a new bruise on my head. As I collected the last of what I could, I had to leave the areas between the cupboards, the stove, and the fridge; it was just too painful to get down that far. I filled three more big bags with the bleached, covered towels, bringing the current total of eight bags taken to the refuse chute. I pressed on with mopping the kitchen, but that bleach wouldn’t come out at all, without a fight.

On the bright side, it cleaned up my fingernails nicely. Even if it did ruin my new dressing gown, slippers and Khagoule, all waste-shutting with a few words RIP style proffered as I sent them 12 stories down in the chute, to the big bins below.
I only bought you both a month ago,
It’s so sad to see you have to go,
Hope it doesn’t hurt you, though,
When you land twelve floors below!

Carer Ejaz finally arrived, and I told him of how my blog-writing time had been further deprived. Showed him these photos and told him of what I’d been through, the time lost, the pain, and the frustration. Yet, amazingly, nae astoundingly, nae, mind-bogglingly, a miracle… had not dawned or visited me, yet! Yes, I was angry, a smidgeon sorry for myself, maybe. There was certainly an inkling of self-sympathy lurking in my mind.
But when the air had cleared, the blood had bled, the pains subsided, and Ejaz stuck into helping, and the kitchen was beginning to look clearer and safer, I had a short, curt visit from,

When I sat down after Ejaz had departed, I anticipated falling into the wonderfully welcoming arms of Sweet Morpheus. But, No! Fractured Knee Frank, Back-Ache Brenda, & Shuddering -Shoulder Shirley, kicked off at the same time. It was like someone turning a pain switch on, instant agony. I thought it was bad enough while doing the bending, but now it is worse than ever, as Victor Meldrew’s catch phrase went. I Do Not Believe It! When Ejaz returned for his last call, he had planned to tidy the kitchen, but didn’t. Why?
He recognised the state I was in purely pain-wise.
Ejaz took a snap of the little bruise on my head for his records at ICC. Then he made some instant mash, cheese with ketchup and sausage for my meal. Not wanting me to get up from the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner. He even suggested I don’t move into the bed, rather stay where I am, the effort of climbing into bed he feared would set off the other ailments.
Also snapped shots of the view from the kitchen window for me, since he knows I like to take them for the blog. The Carers have been a treasure for me today. And how, why, did Deep Dark Depression Darius stay away? He did get one fleeting visit in, but was it worth his efforts? I think not. But I pray tomorrow that he keeps away.
Perhaps I was so busy, and in so much pain, he didn’t feel the need to get at me as much? Nae!

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Inchie Today: Friday 28th November 2025

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Another day of gaffes, mishaps, & Accifauxpas. I suppose that these were the cause, reason, for the non-appearance of my beloved and much missed . And the, dragging-me-down surfeit of .
Assisted by Dastardly Dementia Doreen, letting me down so often, and causing irritations, frustrations, making the day seem to go as fast as a month would. One thing after another.
Only increased the mental mayhem.

05:10hrs: I jerked awake,   I took the catheter bag off and, seeing the state of the day bag on the leg, made a mental note to ask a Carer why it had not been changed for three weeks; it should be, and was at one time, done weekly as the nurses instructed. This seems to have been forgotten about lately. My fault as much as the Carers’, I keep forgetting to ask them if they can do it. But with the times cut back, they would not get the other jobs done if they changed the bag as well. Frustrations of the day started here.

I hobbled into the kitchen to check on the taps, cupboards and fridge doors, nothing amiss. (Honestly) 

I took a couple of snaps of the view on offer from the kitchen windows. As you see, they didn’t exactly come out very well. In fact, they were atrocious. Off to the wetroom to make an early start on the . These did not go very well this morning. Starting with the first job on the Porcelain Throne. Trotsky Terence burst forth a dollop of watery, smelly, yellowish mush! I cleaned up and went to get the toothpaste, toothbrush and mouthwash ready to use – I didn’t make it; I rushed back to the porcelain and only just in time, as another near liquid burst forth into the WC bowl. This time, I remained seated, and sure enough, two minutes later, a third evacuation of the same ilk squirted out. Cleaned up again and back to get the teeth-cleaning pot… dropped it on the floor as I felt the rear-end evacuation on its way… Again! Same routine, and back to the teeth cleaning. I was a little miffed with the diarhorrea back once more, and was a little overkeen with the toothbrush. The gums hurt, but they did not bleed too much. I was putting the stuff back in the pot, and after yet another sitting down, a messy session on the Porcelain Throne – Even I find this could not be happening! But, it was!
Started shaving. By the time I’d finished, I began to struggle to stop the three teeny-weeny cuts from bleeding. I had to put a plaster on my chin, but it stopped leaking later. As did the evacuations… eventually. Just as I was squeezing the Germaloid tube onto some gauze,
 burst forth with a short, sharp, costly hand and finger shaking session. I couldn’t release my grip on the just-opened tube of Germalloid Ointment, and it shot out about 95% onto the floor and the wall. Poor old paid the price in pain.
Then, as I was getting the new protection pants on, I lost my balance, and with some quick but stupid reaction to avoid a tumble, I hastily plopped my overweight bum on the toilet seat – which worked. Realising as I gingerly got back up on my feet, I could feel the blood running down the back of my leg. 
What a bleed it was from Harold’s Haemorrhoids!
I ripped off the pants at the tear-points, and got the blood cleaned up from the floor, my leg and foot.

Frustrations of the day continue…

Then had to battle against my nervousness to get another pair of PPs on! 
I got the Health Checks done and recorded on the board, then made a brew of Typhoo Extra Strong tea. Updated the calendar.

I was washing the mug, and Carer Manprett arrived. She thought I’d just had a seizure, but didn’t say why she felt that. Gave me a body check. Barrier cream, Phorpain Gelled the lower back and both knees. Medications issued. And said she wanted to call me ‘Bapu’. That is “Dad” or “Grandad” in Pakistani-English; I looked it up later. Bless her. She also checked that the HC figures were written correctly – I’d made one cock-up with the temperature. Tsk!

Frustrations of the day continue…

I spent three hours on the replacement word listings! No blog work done at all yet. Humph! 
Carer Mirza arrived. He took the replacement TV remote out of the bag, and as I was telling him not to press the red button, he did before I asked. Well, that seemed to be the end of any hope of getting Virgin TV back on. The lad did not have time to fuss with it. Mirza said for me to ask Ejaz on Wednesday. He had to rush off. Can’t be helped. But I got the feeling they had no time to do anything. And with the day catheter pouch not being replaced for weeks… a little disappointed, and shamefully sorry for missen!

Frustrations of the day continue…

I managed to finish yesterday’s blog and send it off. Decided to celebrate with another mug of tea.

Started again, the ndanged short-as-a-flash ones that leave me of sync & balance. Spent a lot more time recovering than having seizures.

Frustrations of the day continue…

When I did finally get to the kitchenette, I found I’d left the hot faucet running again! Kicked in, not had much bother from her for a week or so; still, she has as much right as any other ailment.

Noticing how heavy it was raining, after making the brew, I went out onto the balcony to take some shots through the glass… the rain was pouring in through the front windows. The wheeled walkers and two wheelchairs were soaked… I got a bit wet taking the photographs. (Haha!) I had to take off the dressing gown & kaghoule & put them on the airers to dry.
Back on the balcony to take some more photographs of the rain.
This one came out a little better than the others, so I tried to get some to the left side of the balcony.
Pointing down at the car park opposite Winwood Heights block of flats.
This one was taken straight ahead to the left of the balcony. Back on the computer, and I got a call on the landline phone, it was from the Doctor’s surgery. Informing me that the hospital had changed the Ramipril Capsules from 15g to 10g, I think he said. Two years ago, I was on 30g. They did the same with the Phorpain Gel: started at 30%, then 15%, and now 10%.

Along with saving the NHS money on them, as they did in cancelling my Glaucoma operation, and I’m now virtually blind in my left eye, not one of the five promised offers of help when I was in hospital has arrived. The neurologist who saw me about the seizures wanted a photo of me in one… it took two weeks, but much-missed Carer Nimra took a video, and Carer Ejaz helped sort out how to send it via email to the Doctor, who has not been in touch at all. Adding Herr Goldenballs Starmer’s robbing us pensioners of the winter fuel allowance, I reckon they’ve made a profit out of me, and pissed me off!

Frustrations of the day continue…

At long last, I got around to starting this blog. I was interrupted by the last visit of the day to the
!

After the last evacuation of the day (this is a bit misleading, cause I was up until gome 03:00hrs doing this blog, and had to pay another early morning visit), I had to get the mop and bucket out to clean and freshen the floor of blood and a few splashes from Trotsky Terence’s activities. As I tugged at the mop, which had got caught in the wheel of the trolley, it shot up. I hit myself in the face with it!

Frustrations of the day continue…

The result was agony from .
I often write these quips about my luck, just for a bit of humour, tongue in cheek, getting into the proceedings.

The mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae, Whoopsiedangleplops, ailments, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, Accifauxpas, rent increases, food price hikes, and the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? I’m thinking after this week’s, especially today’s cock-ups & go wrongs, they all might be true! Hehehe!

I started cooking the meal of the day. Oven chips, Polish kielbasa, and beetroot. I got the oven on and set the mobile phone alarm for 25 minutes, when the chips should be cooked. Then a fatal decision was taken… I thought I’d do a little word list updating.
An hour into it, and I smelt the burning chips! No idea why I didn’t hear the mobile alarm go off… (I likely set it wrong, it’s the first time I’ve tried to use it… and the last time, too!) I salvaged most of the chips, another bad decision that was… they were so hard I had to soak them with vinegar to eat them, and started the gums bleeding. I got them eaten, well, no, not all of them.
Suddenly, as I was standing up to take and wash the dishes…

Frustrations of the day continue…

Carer Dilan arrived. I mentioned that no one had been changing my day bag for three weeks, and he laughed. I don’t think he was being rude at all, just didn’t understand what I was saying. Which is fair enough, I couldn’t understand what he was saying later. I said my farewells, then went to clean out and antiseptise my mouth from the bleeding gums.

I stopped for a few minutes of quietism: another mistake! All I achieved from it was feeling more deeply depressed at how life is going. The best Carers have had their calls on me reduced; one does not call at all nowadays. Can anyone tell me if CDB helps with depression?
I’ll look it up… Nope!

Well, well, well, (and I’m not well, Haha!) early hours of the morning now, and believe it or not, I’ve just found bleeding from Little Inchy. Best I can guess, it’s coming from either the tube or the fungal lesion. Going to need help with this one. How embarrassing! 
Always the weekend when summat needs attention!

Frustrations of the day continue…

Not a lot worse than many other days lately.
But everything has got to me more today.
I’ve ordered some St John’s Wort capsules.
Once a day, read all the reviews; it might work.
Then I checked on Google…
Too dangerous to take with Warfarin!
I’ve tried to cancel it. They say they will try, but it may be too late! (I only ordered it ten minutes ago!) Hope they do/can stop it.

Frustrations of the day continue…

So tired, and it’s 04:00hrs now. But I want to look at the WP Reader, and I did. 
KITTY OF THE DAY – ANDY

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What a day!

Inchie: Wed 19th Nov 25

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My problems continue to be compounded,
But on this subject, I’m not particularly confused,
For my abilities have been commandeered,
I knew this was coming; I’ve long feared,
But there is no way this can be repaired,
Tasks, dreams, & wants cannot be completed,
Failure has to be conceded, accepted…
Although the causes are comprehended,
Problem-solving gets my brain circumvolved,
My balance gets hazy, giddy, circumlocuted,
Dark Dank Depression Darius is generated,
Self-pity can often be provoked, expedited,
Offers of help fail, after being countenanced,
Carer Ejaz today, really-really helped…
He got me an appointment in Sherwood,
He’s cheeky, but such a lovely lad,
They’ve cut his calls down. I was so sad,
Today, once again, he made me glad,
Suddenly, things don’t feel quite as bad!
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05:40: I remembered to do the balance exercises this morning. Honestly! First time in days, Hehe!
Got the nocturnal pouch off, and while emptying it, the need for an evacuation arose. I should think it took me at most 60 seconds to get seated, and Pwhor!
An Irish stew-like torrential burst of semi-liquid shot out as if it were nuclear-powered! Well, it was all over in seconds, ten at most! That was a bit of luck. If I’d been in the kitchen, I’d never have made it in time!

Off to the kitchen… 
I’d left the bloody hot tap running all night again!
Good news, remembering the balance routine. Then, my being close enough to avert a Porvelain Throne embarrassment in the wet room. Now bad in the kitchen. Do you realise I’ve had more good than bad luck this morning? !

While waiting for the kettle to boil, I took three photographicalistions with my Kodak Tim 2 camera from the kitchenette window, of the dark, rainy view it beheld. The first one was not a good one at all, of the front car park. I tried again and made an even worse job of it. However, this did not stop me from making another effort, determined to get one passable photo out of the session. Well, it wasn’t going to challenge Savis Bailey’s reputation, Haha! But it was a smidge improved on the first two, I think.

I got the Health Checks sorted. Then I got the results put into the NHS graph thingamajig. It was nerve-racking how long it took to open Excel!

Carer Manpreet arrived. She sorted the medications and wanted to do a body check, cleaning, and foaming, but I explained that I have not had a shorter shave or wash yet, due to my newfound ability to keep leaving the hot tap running in the kitchen, daily! 
Manpreet checked the HC figures; I’d got one wrong again. Good Luck 2 – Crap-Luck 6. That soon changed the odds. As Manpreet was leaving, the forgotten about Ocado order arrived.
Manpreet took the bags into the kitchen for me, which was very welcome and appreciated.

Some treats for the old man had come. Biscuits were Scottish Shortcakes. Cheesy curls and onion rings were put in the main junk-computer room for ease of access to nibble. He-he!
Jason’s sourdough rolls. Cheesy-topped rolls. Tucks, cheese & caramelised. Freshly cooked beetroot and cooked Polish Kielbasa sausages, and several bottles of Spring water. 

On with the blogging at long last. I was titivating a CorelDraw graphic, and…
The computer froze! I was depressed instantly! I pondered over what had caused this for a while, and soon realised the only answer, not a cure, was to turn it all off at the power. I crossed fingers, and did. I waited for a few minutes and took another photo from the kitchen window. The first one of the slower-melting snow in the field.
Then one of the front car park for the third time. This one came out clearer. But it was a lot lighter, so I expected a better job.
Then I went back to the computer and turned it on.
I think the photos were taken out of fear or frustration, at least as a way to forget or hide the problem.
The computer came on all right. I temporarily changed some details in the Excel graph, changed them back, and the programme saved each one. So far, so good. Then I opened CorelDraw.
WHAT A PICKLE!
It started to load; it’s always been a slow job. When, as usual, CorwlDraw opened the last-edited page, I got so many error messages. I was bamboozled.
I was still trying to sort out the problems (over an hour lost so far), and Carer Misra arrived. He checked the second HC figures for me. Peptac and a painkiller were given. While he was here, the door chime rang out, and Carer Ejaz came in to do a more extended visit. Now I was getting more muddled than ever. Nizra was thanked, and he departed. Ejaz took the laundry down and got it in the washer.

Ejaz returned and took up the task of calling Virgin Media. Oh, no, first helped and guided me through an email they sent me yesterday evening. We had to change the password and merge details with my EE account. That took ages, but worked nicely thanks to Ejaz’s input. 

Then, as he saw how I was struggling to see correctly, Ejaz suggested I ring the Doctor to get a referral for the EENT department to see about my worsening Glaucoma. Good idea. He called them and spoke with the patient assessor for some time. Handed me the landline handset to answer the bloke’s questions, he sounded as usual, uptight, short and sharp in speech. 
I was starting my reply…
AND THE LINE CLUNKED AS HE CUT ME OFF!
As Ejaz and I spoke of the problem, Ejaz decided to ring the EENT directly. We got the number from the web. No answer. As we chatted further, I remembered that it was not the Doctor who referred me to the EENT over my Cataracts, it was the optician!
I got the same Sherwood optician’s number, and Ejaz rang them to ask for an appointment on a Wednesday, then he could go with me. After a short phone call, he declared that he’d got an appointment for me at 12:20hrs next Wednesday, 26th November. 
Thank heavens for Ejaz! The lad went down to collect the laundry, returned with it, and hung it up for me. He’d looked after me well today with the appointment making. Thanks, lad!

The only issue is that no cleaning was done. No paperwork done. And no date checking. Not Ejaz’s fault, did a great job, but ran out of time. I’ve begged the social to give me more Carer time, but no.
Next week, nothing will get cleaned either, as we are going out to the opticians!
This place is going to be in a right mess.
Still, I am delighted to get to the opticians, and hope he can refer me to the EENT to get the left eye sorted. Lefty is so faded and blurry that I can’t really use it. I was thinking of getting an eye pad. Does anyone have any advice out there, please? 
There’s no doubt that if he does pass me on, it will be a long wait. Can’t be helped. A bit like me. That’s not true. Ejaz & Mizra do their best and are pleasant with it. But Ejaz is only doing one call at night every day, except Wednesday, which is making things difficult. To put things in perspective.

After Ejaz rushed off, I went to make a brew of tea. I must get around to seeing if the computer will work again yet.
That’s how late it is!

Carer Ahram did the late call.
Ejaz might do the night call.

I got back on the computer.
It took me ages and a lot of tweaking to get CorelDraw to load the last graphic used. I had to move files around into a less heavily used folder, so many that I can’t remember where for next time this happens.
I loaded eventually, but it would not save. I had to search for CDR files and delete some to get it to save, but it isn’t working at the moment.
I used CCleaner and then Norton to clear more, hoping I haven’t buggered something up and that it won’t start in the morning.

Highly satisfactory!

I’ve had successes today, thanks to the Carers, particularly Ejaz, with appointments obtained.
But plenty of failures.
FED UP!

TTFNski

Inchie: Tues 18 Nov 25

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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I dream of good health,
And a bit of wealth,
I don’t want a gold delf,
But my mind’s full of unwanted cultch,
In deciding anything, I’m a bit of a drench…
My dreams often produce their own stench,
I’ve lived in a lonely shell, wittwontenish,
With only myself to loathe and fratch,
Confidence & contentment I couldn’t catch,
I got no benefits, praise or backseesh,
No pets allowed, no cat, no dog, no fitch,
Stuck indoors, am I bothered? Very much,
My problems are many, and not picayunish.
No more moaning, I’m sick of doing it,
I’d like to travel and seek out the Sasquatch…
Go to the coast, and sit on the beach,
I’m going to stop being so poltroonish…
Try to stop acting paganish,
One more thing I would rather wish,
To see Starmer impeached!
I’ve lost the Ode’s plot again. Sheesh!
Let’s all pray for world peace.
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Up at 05:25hrs. Night pouch removed, and into the kitchen to check taps, cooker, fridge doors, etc.
Pleased with the photo I took this morning. It was an incredible blue sky up there this morning. I could hear emergency services sirens.
Of to the for an evacuation. Things started to move, then froze solid! A tiny section of the torpedo that had begun to escape practically had to be chipped away. Hahaha! Rock solid! I’ll ask for a Senna when the Carer calls later on.

Back to the kitchenette, and got the kaghoule hand-washed in the sink. It was a wick job, cause this one is made with fragile, thin material, cotton, I think. It’s comfy, but in winter it’s a bit cold to wear without a dressing gown. I hung it up to dry on the wet-room shower rail. Then I got a heavier black one with a kangaroo pocket to use after the scrub-wash, brush-up, shave & medicating were completed. Which went well!

No cuts, shaving. The teeth bled, of course, as did the gums. No droppages… although for the rest of the day, I was dropping so many things, I swore at myself.
The medications I could reach to use, apart from the fingal lesion cream, went well and were not painful at all. The lesion always hurts. The nasal & eyes were sprayed, then the ears were done last.
Got perfumed and dressed. All but had a tumble getting the protection pants on, but didn’t go over. Then off to the main junk room and into the bacony to take a couple of photographs. The first one of the dead end beyond the car park. The puddle of soil
had well-filled the end parking zone again. As I turned to get back into the flat, I twisted , but the pain was far less than it had been on previous occasions. Was this going to be a better day? Will Batman & Robin… Hehe!

I carried out the first BP checks and recorded them on the whiteboard to go on the computer later. Then made a brew of Typhoo extra-strong tea and had a couple of bikkies dunked and eaten. When I say a couple… Hehehe!

I got to the door, and nobody was there. As I was closing the door, I espied a small parcel on the floor outside. It was some ready-filled Enoxaparin hypodermics. I’m glad they sent them, just in case.

I got on the computer, and Carer Maapreet arrived. No doorbell pushed. Didn’t know she was in the flat until she came into the room. I greeted her. After clocking in on her mobile, she set out to get the medications readied. I took them, and she checked the BP figures on the NHS site. I’d made one error. Tsk! Then Manpreet got some Phorpain, well, it’s another name now, but the same thing, just not strong enough, only 10%, not the usual 20%… which also had gone down from 30%. 
It’s called Ibugel Forte, now. Massaged my lower back with it. Then both knees, Next, as she did a full body check, got barrier cream under the arms, man breasts and the right wrist. Bless her.

When Manpreet left, I went to try the Procelain Throne again.
What a session, I struggled to get it going, one giant torpedo finally agonisingly, painfully plopped out… to be followed by a great long-lasting torrent of watery mush!

I started on what was going to be an hour-long session of updating the missing word lists. Huh!
Three hours later, Carer Mirza arrived. Nice to see him. A quick visit. Painkillers and Peptac given. 

I went back to the computer to finish off the section I was on. I got carried away again and started the next one. By then, Carer Inhran was coming in.

I hastily got as much as I could on this blog. But it will be morning by the time it’s done.
Hang on, I was supposed to be cutting it down! I’ll get some spuds in the oven, and do the rest in the morning. I am a clot!

I opened the video of the seizure to show a Carer and explain the importance of not shouting or touching me. This is what happened when taking the snaps of it on the computer. (Laugh, I did!)
First effort…
The computer went into sleep mode just as I was pressing the Kodak Tim-2 button.
I tried again…
I forgot to take the flash off! Hehe!
Gave myself a solid halo.
Gorrit!

Later, I went to take a snap of the sunset. But by the time I’d found Kodad Tim-2, I was too late and missed it. Grumph!

I zoomed in to catch the last of the sun as it came around the globe.
The clouds seemed to be thickening.

Then even closer. This snap reminded me of something, but I’m blown if I can remember what it was now. Huh

Carer Ejaz is only doing the late-night call now, apart from the 2-hour Wednesday call. I do miss his help so much.
Polish sausage and potatoes, cubed and roasted, with Leicester cheese dolloped on top of them. Burnt to make the cheese crackly. One of my better cooking efforts. However, all was not good after eating this feast. I went to wash the pots and found I’d left the hot tap running; it had run cold. So I boiled some water in the kettle a few times, and left the pots and dishes to soak overnight, to be done in the morning.
I dropped the walking stick, stupidly bent down to retrieve it, and caught a wallop on the edge of the cabinet. And he had been feeling so much better and easier these last two days. Joined in immediately after the , and is still with me now, Wednesday morning 09:20hrs! 
I returned to the computer to shut it down, and as I got seated, an urgent, panicky desire to use the Porcelain Throne arose; I got up and nearly fell down again, thanks to , and hobbled hastily to the wet room. In my haste to get to the porcelain in time, again, I banged poor , this time against the door frame as I was taking off the dressing gown. Multitasking should be taken off of my agenda. On the plus side, I got down on the plastic seat in time, but only just.  
was gooey, soft, yet running? Boy, I’m going through the toilet rolls and fresh air sprays! I returned to turn off the computer… again, and did so.

But, with playing me up, getting into the old hospital bed proved too painful. So, I returned to the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, catheter-tube-trapping recliner. 
I got the legs up on a chair, and was soon in the land of Nod! Accompanied, unfortunately, by .

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TTFNski!
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Inchie Today: Sunday 16th November 2025

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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WELL, MAYBE NOT...
A bruise on my hand kept changing colour…
Pink, red, brown, and then into zaffre,
There was little pain; I did not suffer,
Until I gave myself another,
On the same blooming finger!

I love pigeons, when they bill & coo,
I believe I once saw a bugaboo,
I used to handwrite with a decorative curlicue, 
My bank balance is barely worth a flamfew.
My brain today is holding a hullabaloo.

In my younger days, I was an ardent angler,
Despite being bitten one day by a zander,
And slipping and falling into the water,
Now, I suffer from having verbomania,
I fear being buried… of a vivisepulture,
I hoped to see the creatures in Toowoomba,
But I remain a confirmed zoolater…

I realise in the past I’ve been negligent,
Well, I was not known as intelligent,
My mistakes & errors had no intent,
I spent many hours of regret,
Now I’m old; so many I forget!
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0420hrs: I woke up coughing, and my eyes were running… and struggling to contain the rear-end evacuation that was plainly on its escape route of its own accord.

I got the gown undone en route to the wet room and got entangled with the extra-long nocturnal catheter tubing. But, I got to the Throne in time, just!
Another messy whan-bab evacuation that was soggy and sticky. Heck of a job cleaning things up. I thought about doing ablution there and then while I was in the wet room, but decided to give it a while longer until the rotten-egg-like smell, the aroma left by the foul-smelling excrement, had cleared.
I went onto the balcony to see what the end of the car park was like. I think they must be parking to block access like this on purpose? Not that it matters to me. The white car is now parked halfway across the chevrons, with support from a blue van. I imagine they had a valid reason for this fire engine and ambulance blocking tactics. I think I could see a pool of water near the park’s entrance and exit. Maybe the tarmac has become unsafe.

Then, as the rain cleared, I could see that the uphill old gravel path had now been completely tarmacked. I’d love to walk up the hill and come down through the tree copse. But…
It doesn’t seem that long since I was walking that route every day and just loved doing it. Whatever the weather was like. No more!

I returned to the wetroom and started the ablutions. They were going much better than they did yesterday. 
The intercom sounded; it was Carer Nisra. Blimey, how time passed. Then, since I only had my PPs on when she arrived, she spotted that my man-breast would benefit from some barrier creaming, my right knee and lower back were given the Photpain Gel treatment, and my right lower keg had its strappings and undersocks taken off, ankle and leg were foamed, socks and straps put back on. Then Nirma sorted and issued the prescription medications to me. And checked the Health Check return figures on Excel for me. I always get a warm glow when Nimra calls. But then some bad news was revealed: she said she is not coming again; she has new clients to see each morning. Well, well, and that was a bit of a blow to my morale. I thanked her for her help & understanding, and bade her farewell. She took the waste bags with her. Wishing her luck, I gave her a mini-hug too. I hope that Ejaz will not be moved. Wonder who will do the morning call. This afternoon, Ejaz didn’t know about the changes. So he might not be doing it. I hope it might be Carer Carer Carer Nimra. 
I’d be properly lost if he went.
Went to get the kettle on and took this snap of the front and Chestnut Way car parking in the bays.
I was feeling a little down, but not depressed, just sad, I suppose.
Laid out before me at the kitchen window were hundreds of houses, homes, bungalows: being in my sad mode, I thought of what they were doing. There will be burglars, families at war and in love, students, Bulgarians, Irish, Indians, Pakistanis, Africans, Nigerians, Chinese, Serbians, Welsh, Scots, Poles, Ukrainians, Jews, Hungarians, Jamaicans, Myanmar, Bangladeshi, Palestinians, Libyans, etc, etc out there. Those in need, in pain, missing home, we all have one thing in common. 

No idea how long it went on, cause I had no signs that I was drifting off. But it was 17:00hrs when I came back into a world of confusion, dizziness and some loss of balance. And, unusually, I felt so tired, weary, and worn out, which had never lasted more than a few minutes after an episode. But it was enough for me to close the computer and get into bed. I was well in the land of nod, and the Carer arrived and rang the intercom. Ejaz issued the medications, tablets, & Peptac. He’ll rub some Phorpain in for me on his last speed visit. 

Nosh Preparation – Consumption & Stomach Ache! Duodenal Donald did activate!
Gobble, slurp, belch!

TTFN

Inchie Today: Monday 17th November 2025

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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I’m fated to getting the occasional adumbration,
Like they will not go ahead with my trephination,
But that’s not going to give me any trepidation,
Nor my seizure giving me trips into oblivion,
Not my broken knee, or my fungal lesion…
Toothache Tiffany, or Cramp giving Colin…
My catheter, else my cartilages adumbration, 
Glaucoma Gladys, and not to mention…
My bowels fail and non-retention,
Or even my overnight elucubration,
Mainly, the problem is my brain’s fragmentation,
I’m thinking of becoming a futilitarian!
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No question, I’m an excellent forgetter,
And getting worse, not better,
In some ways, I’m a bit of a backslider…
Job not done, cause I don’t remember,
The job I started, when I mentally meander,
Start another, and get all a bluster…
If I get a phone call, seizure or visitor,
Then get asked what to do by a Carer,
Did anyone tell them I had Dementia?
I may go to the kitchen to cook a burger,
Go to the toilet, and, well, bugger!
Come out and start using the Hoover…
Then, back on CorelDraw on the computer,
Then it might freeze, read the brochure… 
But can’t see it, due to Gladys’ Glaucoma!
Then I smell the burning veggie-burger…
I swear, curse, become a self-belittler,
In comes a nurse to change the catheter…
Both leg strapping & socks off the Lymphorrhea,  
We have a laugh, I hold this as dear…
Off she goes, leaving me feeling sadder,
To the wetroom to empty the catheter,
I immediately saw another Inchie blunder…
I’d left the tap running, the hot water,
Now it could not have run colder!
I got even angrier and bolshier…
Leaving, I hit the doorframe with my shoulder!
Depression Darius Dawned, oh, super! 
I should write a book, could be a bestseller?
Under fiction, although true, do I care?
Near blind in my left eye, right one’s clear,
The left one’s view is cloudy and foggier,
I’ll have to inform the Doctor…
Get my eyes examined…
But each call, it’s a different Carer,
On the phone, it is hard for me to hear,
Ejaz & Nimra have been nowhere near,
When they were assured to appear…
They made life that little bit chirpier, 
Talking to the new Carer,
I detected signs of dyslexia,
Suppose because I was disconcerted,
I had to tell him he’d undermedicated,
The Warfarin, I grabbed & imbibed, 
How bad today was cannot be described.
It made me think I had cacodemonomania,
The neurologist mentioned the word cachexia,
He was talking of the effects of a seizure,
Nimra took a video of one I gave a chanticleer!
Ejaz helped me send it to the Doctor,
But no reply, nothing has been heard.
Life is getting harder, complicated, contrarier,
Each day I face enforced frustration & failure,
What can I do, can’t hear or see properly – Caramba!
Getting help? Ha! I’m a dégringolader,
With mind & body in need of many a chiropractor,
Failure, frustration, desperation & dysphoria.
Still, you don’t like to complain, do yer?
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I’m afraid that I’m going to have to cut down on this blog, seriously. For some time at least. Shame, cause I loved doing it so much. I’ll try to keep a cartoon, and an Ode, with a few words of the happenings on the day.
THE REASONS
Health and time. I’ve lost Ejaz. Other than that, I hope on a Wednesday. Nimra will not be coming again.
Carer Mizra, did one call today? I hope he can call more often, a grand help he is. Dispiriting.
Everything I do is taking so much longer.
The cock-ups, errors, and mistakes seem to be getting more frequent. In the last three days: Taps left on, remote control lost, bank and Virgin details cannot be found. Eight near tumbles (Cartilage & Dizzy Dennis). 
The video of me having a seizure was taken thanks to Nimra, and Ejaz helped me work out how to email it to the Doctor, but no reply or appointment has come back yet. The trephination, it sounded to me, like it was going to be cancelled. Fair enough. Waiting for appointments with the Eyes, Ears, Nose and Throat department. Teeth, Ears & Glaucoma; Glaucoma is getting worse in the left eye when I shut my right eye; all I can see is a blur. Not good at all. 
I’ve been fruitlessly begging for more Carers call time. Not that it is now a good thing, losing Nimra and, apart from Wednesdays, Ejaz. 
When I was in the hospital last time, the last few days, several callers half-promised me help. Social, with finances, trying to get extra Carer time (Haha!),
Help with wheelchairs, ordering food online, my computer problems, and arithmaphobia. Suggested rehousing me in a home with 24/7 assistance available. Not that my only experience of living in one after the stroke, encourages me in the least. But no one has been in touch. I’m not surprised.
Depression-Darius has me in his grasp. With the bad news about my Carers, Dizzy Dennis, Concentration Konrad and Lost Balance Belinda all rampant today, I’ve lost the will and interest.
I’ll be trying to get the word list done again; it’s such a slow job. I still can’t work out how I lost the files all in the first place… Oh, yes, the social lady said she would get me some help on that score. Hehehe! I believed her!
As for when the Doctor said they’d resuscitated me. I was gobsmacked. I can’t remember anything of being anywhere for treatment. 
That’s my moaning out of the way. Sorry.

Morning view

BP Hyper this morning!

Managed a mug of tea, before
I got carried away with words.

Carers table. Tided up by Carer
Nimra, before she left,
never to return. Sob!

Brightening up!

Floods at the end of the car park.
White car there again, oh,
and a red one too.

and kept me company all day.

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Have a good day!
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TTFNski!
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Inchie Today: Friday 31st October 2025

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Got advice: any new chest, arm, or back pain, I’m to ring again. But look at the results. As for any new pains, how can I tell with having so many?
Hehehe!
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I always knew that life had a temporality,
I had a liking for rhyming wordsmithery,
Although sadly lacking educationally,
I wrote some decent stuff; only occasionally,
I got paid for a story, in 1953…
Got got rewarded with 7¾p, that was 1/3d
Boy’s Own Magazine sent a postal order to me,
I’ve not been penniless, & not been wealthy,
I’ve never acted yobbishly or done a robbery,
Had very little sex, but it was all yummy!
Luck? Me? More chance of finding a Yeti,
Had various motorbikes, but none above 250cc,
I tell a fib… I did have a Royal Enfield Fury,
Accident first trip, broke my elbow & knee…
Went back to bikes of up to 250cc,
I voted Labour, but acted & lived conservatively,
Life was still good when I was about forty,
Played badminton & squash twice weekly,
Then my health faded fast, became a liability,
Duodenal ulcer, then a new aorta for Inchie,
Made redundant, at very nearly sixty,
The only job I could get was in security,
With a guarding company, called Sawley,
And I was soon finding the job so sorely…
Got shot, found to be superfluous, unnecessary,
Redundant again, then arteriopathy, 
Prostate cancer & Peripheral Neuropathy,
Cataract, glaucoma, severe tooth decay,  
Arthritis, now moved on to Osteoarthritis,
Had four hospital stays since February,
Heart failure, low blood oxygen, cardiomyopathy,
Falls and tumbles are the cause of three,
1) Cracked my head when I fell while making tea,
Exrayed, water on the brain – Whoopie!
Waiting for a procedure, trephinationally,
2) BP was high, hospitalised, systolic was 203,
Given more medications, just temporarily,
Not many days in hospital this time, just three,
3) Woke and rose from bed, far too swiftly,
The swirling started, & I went ultra dizzy…
Collapsed, landing on my arm and left knee,
Getting up was not an option, I tried painfully…
And got myself on my bottom, not easily,
And pressed my alarm button immediately,
The operator rang for an ambulance for me,
Carer Ejaz arrived, comfortingly,
I had a seizure. I could taste the after-acidity,
Two paramedics were suddenly beside me,
Doing various tests, and an ECG,
Then they took me away…,
To geriatric falls, compassion not arraign,
Then X-ray, then to osteopathy, still in pain,
Then to a ward, remembering the name in vain,
Final ward M25, then got moved again,
To a corridor to await the whatshisname,
Thingy, ambulance, a lift home, and still in pain,
3 fractures in my hand, very little pain…
Five in the left knee, they’ll all assain, 
And the water still in the brain,
Trephination decision next Thursday afternoon,
Hope that this Ode was not too arcane!
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Not very well today —mega-confused; the dizziness never went away. Just one graphic photo of my daily meal. My sister Jane, Christine, and I think Jenny said the images on the blog weren’t displaying.
Depressed, going from one task to another, and getting nothing finished… No, that’s not true, sorry.

HIGH-LIGHTS The good stuff!
Carer Ejaz arranged the Neurology lifts for me —Bless Him. Going, it will be Easy-Link, coming back, I don’t know who, but it has been sorted by the ICC Carers office. One thing less to worry about.
Also, the paperwork for the appointment has not arrived yet, and I was panicking, especially after all the fuss and bother over the transport finally being sorted out.
I think I mentioned earlier that the meeting was next Tuesday. Well, I got it wrong, it’s on Thursday.

LOW-LIGHTS The not-so-good stuff!
I’m going to try not to mention these (No guarantee, of course), but I can assure you, there were plenty of them. I’m sick of reporting failures, errors, mistakes, calamities, and Depression Darius encouraging incidents. So, I won’t do any more.
I had several short but welcome visits from my beloved, if confusing . But much more from
Jenny contacted me via email. She complains when I treat Frank and her to treats they like during a Special offer. In her email, she put this graphic, telling me she’s told me not to. Hehehe!
She has a lovely sense of humour. I wish they could do something about the pain she is in whenever she has to walk. She copes so well with it. An Angel. 💖

I let the hot w… no, no!


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WISHING FOR WORLD-WIDE PEACE!
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Inchie Today: Friday 24th October 2025

/ Inchie / 9 Comments

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If there is a creator,
A human being’s maker…
And mahap, a world creator?
A Universal manipulator-manager?
A taking the piss-connoisseur?
A being, a God, or a creature?
An atmospheric-based AI server?
Who toyed with the death of the dinosaur,
Cavemen appeared from the sea or river,
Eventually, inventing things like fire,
Clubs to get sex, then candle-power,
Giving humans dominion over fish? Or,
permitted us to make our own culture,
With vague guidelines, a schadenfreude?
Jealousy, greed, the urge to murder,
Wars, battles, more urges to conquer,
Swords to guns, death-tolls ever-higher,
Politicians, Oligarchs, greedily prosper,
Proletariats employed as a gravedigger,
Due to stink, we invented the sewer,
Then our weapons went nuclear,
We learned to use threats and fear…
Each leader, a prospective queller,
This is why so many are drug sellers,
There have never been so many murders,
This is not counting the endless wars,
So many faiths, constant supersedure,
Ordinary folk are getting ever maudliner,
Oligarch, politician, each a thimblerigger,
Only  their wealth grows bigger,
All houses of faith are no longer sacra,
Did you expect this? No need to answer,
Not that you ever have, of my prayer, 
Why have you permitted our technomania?
Politicians developing megalomania?
Child Molesters, those with kleptomania?
Speaking as an Englander…
I think we are getting stupider…
We’ve gone & voted in Labour!
Worst of all, the PM is Starmer!
Let me know why, please, Sir…
Will I ever get wiser?
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Catch up from yesterday.
Carer Mirza made the last call tonight. Great to see him for more than one reason. First, he is in the same mould as Carer Ejaz. 
During his visit, I lost the TV remote. We both searched. Even moved the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, eyesore-horrendously grungy, disease-fermenting second-hand, beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner, in case it has slid underneath. Mirza checked my dressing-gown pockets, under the bed, all the drawers, and the kitchen… I couldn’t believe it; I heard something fall while I was in the recliner. We moved the ottomans, looked in them, and on the floor, but no remote control. As I was checking under the Carer’s table in the catheter tackle box, in case I’d dropped it in there, Carer Mirza declared he’d found it! Yahoo! It had slipped… don’t laugh, if you can help it, it was in a pouch on the side of the recliner. He told me they put that on all of them so you can store the remote control safely. Fool? I am a fool? No, that’s not a strong enough word! Tsk! I need help.

Last night’s meal

Skyline before getting my head down.
But the event of the evening kept from drifting off; mostly self-demamatory thoughts, and joined in.

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06:15hrs: Got the nocturnal catheter pouch off of the day bag. As I stood up, I remembered to do the balance exercises.
As I was doing them, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. So, after a couple of minutes, I was on my way to the wetroom. This session caught me off guard and left me a bit confused. The movement was of a Trotsky Terence style. But the pain it gave me was terrific. That’s the wrong word!

I gathered the Health Check clobber and put it on the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, recliner. When the Carer arrived to do the tests for me.

Carer Ejaz arrived minutes later; I had thought he would be a little earlier. He’s bought a car, a Vauxhall Nova. He showed it to me on the balcony, parked in the front car park. I took a photo of it… But, as with so many lately, it had disappeared into the ether from the SD card when I got around to loading it into CorelDraw. How does that happen so often?
Ejaz issued the medications, Peptac, removed the straps and under-cover from both feet, and checked how Lymphorrhea Leslie’s legs were looking. They looked far better now. After refitting both leg straps and undercovers, he began a body check and came across a worrying sight. He photod it.
It seems I am now getting the Lymphorrhea Leslie effect above the knees!
Blobules of lymph fluid had appeared overnight. We’ll see how they go before telling the District Nurses. I have known myself to get them and tell the nurses who come three days later that they had all but vanished. So we weren’t too worried. Of course, I may regret saying that. Hehe!
Ejaz carried out the Health Checks. The BP is still a little too high, as it has been all week… again. Thankfully, the lad was like his usual self.

I made a brew of tea, but with a touch of sadness. My small China mug. It had fine, thin spiderweb cracks and was leaking away. (A bit like the new day catheter bags, Humph!) I sulked a little and realised with my luck, it had to happen! I loved that mug; the tea tasted so much better. Sob! The mugs Jenny gifted me are still here, unbroken though. Thanks, Jenny.🤎

A TEMPORARY PANIC!
I was working on the blog and using Word Hippo to aid with the Ode, and everything froze.
Word Hippo was immediately closed.
Then a Warning came up about Word Hippo being a dangerous site. I’ll see if I can find another alternative site to use, and I deleted it from the icon list. Shame it was an incredible site; before they went advert-mad. So easy and intuitive to use. Humph! Does anyone know of a safe, similar site to try?
Then I got a warning from Norton about WordHippo being a dangerous site. Offering to do a free Entire Site Virus check. So, I clicked ‘Yes’ at 10:30hrs. Life went into limbo then.
It checked my computer, then the extra storage thingy, and then even the ancient (1989) CorelDarw clipart CD. Which, if I followed it correctly, told me it had 184,000 pieces of (terrible) childlike clipart on it, that needed to be checked. A long job!
I went into the kitchen, handwashed some socks, hung them up to dry, and returned to watch as the number of checked files rose on the screen.
I took a photo of the lovely sky. Returned to the computer and waited for the checks to be completed by Norton.
Which they were, at 12:30hrs! With a result that I least expected. ‘Nothing to resolve,’ it told me. Also, I had to close and open the computer after these checks and any corrections were completed. So, I did. Opening it up and the browser, then CorelDraw.
I thought another mug of tea was in order after that marathon do-nothing session.
 !
I’d left the hot water tap (faucet) running, and the water had gone stone cold! So much for my planned afternoon ablution session!

Life is getting much harder!
Problems coming at me like an armada! 
Life is no longer avuncular,
I fear I’ve got aprosexia,
All I want is ataraxia,
I frequently get dysphoria,
I grow emotionally knurlier,
And I walk into doors and furniture!

Ejaz returned for his quick 13:00hrs check.

Then the toenail cutter arrived. She coped with having to remove the straps & underpads from both legs and feet to get at the toenails, £35!

Bonus Cartoon from 2023


Crude, but funny? Haha!

Ejaz did his teatime call, checked on the straps, and new Lymphoria bloblets; they seemed no worse.
While creaming the knee, he asked if the legs were bothering me. I replied, “No, they have been calm all day!” Seconds later, as I moved from the chair… ARRGH! I think it was a combination of Arthur Itis and Cartilage Chloe giving me grief; between them, they almost had me over. Hehehe!

I set about removing hundreds of posts from the WP gallery that were from a 2023 search. But I did find some Odes that I could do back then in graphic form; can’t today —not enough memory. Which prompted me to have a clear-out on the WP gallery. Having to delete them one at a time, it took me ages. 
Does anyone know a quicker way, please?

Well, time to get a meal of some sort, sorted.

I got some mini-potatoes cooking in the oven. A can of mild curry, with Bovril & vegetable seasoning added. Heated this in the microwave, and added the potatoes to the pot, added some vinegar to the potatoes, and got in the aged, grotty-looking, c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner. Put a recorded ‘Heartbeat’ episode on, and dined away, I almost felt content then. But…

As I stood up with the tray in my hand, gave way on me! Luckily, I avoided a meeting with the floor by leaning back into the recliner… With a thud, a clatter from the dropped tray as it spread the contents all over the carpet, and felt the blood coming from !
The protection pants at least stopped it from leaking and running down my legs, onto the bottom, and onto the cushion. t stung a bit! It’s better than having another tumble and weeks spent in the hell-hole of a hospital. I appreciated this even while suffering in relative agony as I tried to get up again. t seemed that Catheter Chloe and Arthur Itis were upset with me plopping down, and showed me this in their usual way – pain-giving! umph!  
I put the tray and things in the kitchen sink to soak; the water was at last warming up a bit.
Off to the wet room to change the PPs, clean up and medicate Arthur Itis and Chloe. Strangely, the most painful part of it all was getting the PPs on. artilage, Chloe, and I assume the fractured bones in the left knee meant pain when genuflecting the knee. The leg had to be lifted to fit in the holes. Haha!

I finally got things sorted and medicated, and limped off to the kitchenette to wash the pots – so glad I hadn’t left the tap running!

Carer Ejaz did his last call. He left the nocturnal bag out for me to fit later. Ejaz offered me Peptac and a Codeine 30g, which I accepted.

I didn’t tell him of the near tumble and hassle I’d had – I’m forever relating my accifauxpas, Whoopsiedangleplops, lost items and so on to him. Must be a bore, class one to him. 

After the lad had gone, I did the safety check around the flat before retiring. Lights off, fridge & freezer doors closed, windows shut. Taps (Faucets) not left running in the kitchen or wetroom, heater not left on in the wetroom, and shower turned off at the plug. And the door was locked.

Fell asleep with relative ease tonight and had a dream, but I cannot recall its theme. Tsk!
I slept for 7… I say seven hours!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Better Day today—I didn’t say it was good! Haha!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Inchie: Wed 3 Sept 25 Mini-Seizure Clusters

/ Inchie / 16 Comments

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– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I couldn’t help the first thing, being born, 
Getting thrown in the canal at Halthorn,
Mother and Joan of Arc for being a Capricorn,
I wish I could have avoided being earthborn,
Mother didn’t want me; she ran off to Eastbourne,
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
My canoodling days, I spent happily in revelry,
Then a burglar decided to shoot me,
No praise for stopping the burglary 
I nearly got the sack, I was thirty-three,
I tried to share things, antediluvially,
Shot again, got the sack, started the despondency.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I’ll have to stop doing this eventually,
In fact, due to seizures, each one is a shortie,
Cruel after-effects, taking longer in recovery,
If I ever get the blog started, midnight a departee,
So far behind, hours lost, Anne Gyna is having a party,
Today’s seizures are rampant, I’ve never had so many…
I’ll have to try again on Thursday morning.
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Not feeling too well this merry morning. After four hectic, go-wrongable days, I’d hoped things might improve for me today. In fact, they did, whoopsiedangleploppery-wise. But, a new one today. A series of short mini-seizures started just before midday. I’ve lost count of how many. Each time, the recovery was taking longer and longer. Mt concentration was so bad. I was not getting the time to fully recuperate each time, and it felt like the next seizure recovery time… I’m just saying, getting back to semi-normality was impossible. I found myself going off track, which meant I couldn’t catch up on the blog. No time for the WP reader or comments again. I shall call the District Nurse if this lasts much longer. As I recall, my wanderings took me off track for the day. I split some boxes, tore them up into bags, and then took them along with the waste bins to the rubbish chute.
And I could have left them for the Carer’s to do, and most importantly, in moments of clarity, I kept urging myself to get on with the Ode and blog. Then I started, and was hoovering the room and hallway… not that I can recall much of this incident. Because the seizure would not subside. Well, they did ease off from about 17:00 hours to 20:00 hours… at least I think they did.
I’d taken photos and got a few on CorelDraw, but not on the blog gallery. Some I cannot recall taking.
Yet I coped, unhappily and grumpily, I admit, with the previous hell-days problems. I’ve been mentally all over the place today. Yet, I still managed to jot down some notes on the pad.

I may phone Matron about this Mini-Seizure barrage in the morning, even if the seizures stop altogether – I cannot cope with repeated short seizures. Having said that, it is the first time I’ve had so many, so close to each other. During any longer breaks between the seizures, I was another person. I swear I can recall laughing and joking with Carers’ Ejas and Nimra. At times, just until the subsequent recovery was needed. And I experienced some great moments despite Sanda’s Mini-Seizures.

I’ll see how things go on Thursday.
(Thursday morning, now) I’ll have to cut down on detail, not that they were entertaining anyway. To save time. Giving myself a chance to catch up.

Health Check Monitoring this morning, Carer Ejaz double-checked the returning figures for me later on, gave out medications, diabetic socks were put on, and a body check was carried out.He checked prescription medications…
,
And no prescription ones in the wet room.

Cragnangles! Done it again!
Wrong week for the Ocado order!
,
At least I’ve got some bread now, hehe!
Mor favourites too!

Seizures kicked off, I’ll say no more!
Well, maybe just, ARRGH!

Late afternoon, teatime.
Carer Nimra, I think, pointed out the state of my right leg. Next call, Ejaz put some Cetraben cream on the area, and it was much calmer in the morning.

,
I took this while recovering from the last bout of Seizures; they did not return after this. The odd single one, but with plenty of time to recover. Nice!

Three snaps of the rain on the kitchen windows.
Straight ahead.
To the left.
To the right.

The shot below was taken after I’d made, eaten and pictured the feast. But could not find the food photo in the morning to use? Another of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Depressing Duncan, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhea Leslie, Premordid Cognitive Impairment Inchie, or the Fata Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. My faith, sanity, and logicality were already on the wane.

Now, I’m having to contend with Sandra’s Mini-Seizure-Stampede. Grrr, Kragnancles and Flipping-heck come to mind. But, of course, they didn’t bother me in the slightest; I just laughed them all off. There is a slight modicum of a chance here that.

Despite these Seizure stampedes, there is one thing that they could not stop me getting, HMH;
I think my estimate of the division between Evil & Heaven is accurate. I may not have been as high a percentage for HRH. However, the relief gained while he was here was priceless.
I think without these High-Mode-Horis moments, I could not go on. They are better than any of the medications I’m on. The ‘Sod-them-all’ sensation that accompanies Horis is so unlike me; I’ve always been a worrier. In fact, I’m now worrying how I will cope without them. They came from an uncontrollable, weird entity… my own brain. How, why, I know not?
The only Anti-Depression-Darius Succes, without it, I’d be in a right mess.
Sorry about that bit of self-analysis. I wish the Neurologist would read this blog.

Kitchen window view.

🤎 GENTLY GOES IT 🤎

Inchie Today: Sunday 24th August 2025

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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Who was it that said, hopes immortal?
A mortal? A Saint or someone asteroidal?
Starmer? Read 1 Timothy 6:16 in the bible?
As we’re all mortal, it sounds antagonistical,
But things in the world are now so unalterable,
We may yet invent a time machine, or portal,
One that can travel forward & be reversible?
Oligarchs would sell it to the coercible,
Do you think the possibility is apprehensible?
Anyone using one must be cautious and sensible…
Changing the past – the future changes, it’s inevitable
Does it work going forward? Yes, in things medicable,
Diseases: no longer repairable or rectifiable,
But will the end of the world be avoidable?
Will Starmer becoming PM be preventable?
If so, UK citizens will find that astronomical!
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MORNING THOUGHTS IN ODE
After last night’s sleeping faux pas & farces,
I need a dentist, neurologist or Adventist?
More Carers for longer, whatever this costs.
I’ll do without food, electricity, or sex,
Each day I wonder what calamity will come next,
Did I sin in a past life? Or have I been hexed?
Mental parasites, my cerebrum they infest,
Yet still I feel that I’ve been blessed…
Nurse Wilhemena came with her massive chest!
o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o

I didn’t get out of bed this morning; I did that last night. Stubbed my toe, got to the Porcelain Throne too late, again.  
All in all, as it happened, weighing it all up, the day was well up there at the very close to the top of the league of Whoopsiedangleplops. But the night outshone, and shamed Saturday day. I can’t think of anything that went right. Something must have…

At least I managed to get the Ablutionalisationing and Medicationing done before the Carer arrived. That was because he was a little late, given it was Sunday and there were so few buses running. I realised there was little time to get a good job done, so I skipped washing my feet. And in my haste, I forgot to clean my teeth; I did them later when I realised. The shaving produced several minuscule nicks around the back of the neck and a corker on my cheek. I’d better add that it was the cheek on my face. Just to avoid any confusion. Hehehe!

Later, a few minutes later, Carer Ejaz arrived. Graded the pouch as a 4 on the NHS scale. Issued the medications and antisepticated the rough skin on my lymph nodes on my legs. Got the diabetic socks on. Thanked him & wished him well, and off he shot. Whooosh! No problem with that, he had to dash to catch a rare Sunday bus, bless him.

I paid Porcelain Throne another visit. Still controlled my Trotsky Terence, but I didn’t get caught out this time.

I made a mug of Detox tea. The expensive one that uses boiling water to steep it in. Fifteen minutes later, I removed the bag, and as it says on the bag, “Do not gulp this tea, sip it.”  So, I did.

I then got yesterday’s Khagoule hand-washed in the kitchen sink. Midway through the rinsing of the shirt, I knew that a seizure was coming on; I felt it, but I cannot say precisely how, but I was aware of it on its way. I got into the front room before it came and got seated. I wasn’t aware of entering a never-never land, but that’s precisely what happened as soon as I returned and became semi-aware that reality was back. Dizziness and lack of balance kept me sitting down for a few minutes, and I attempted to have a poddle around. Greattt! Not too bad at all. Usually, the short seizure after effects are more substantial than the long ones, but this one was a good recovery. I went into the kitchen, cause I remembered what I was doing, and the water in the bowl was stone cold. Then, it dawned on me that I must have been out of it for a long time, without realising it.
I got the khagoul rung out and hung it up on the shower rail in the wet room.

I got a text message from Amazon. I couldn’t press the ‘Press to Reply or talk’ button on the screen because my phone didn’t have internet. I thought maybe they had arrived with the Diabetic socks and left them in the foyer. I went down to investigate.
Nothing in the lobby.
I pottered in the laundry room. While I was there, I put my hand in the dryer that caused all the Thursday pandemonium; it felt warm, so I assume it’s been mended again. Fifteen minutes later, a driver arrived at the front lobby door. He had the socls along with a few items for other flats. He came up in the lift with me, and I returned to my call. No, flat!
I opened the box of socks. Realising they have an L & R sewn into each pair.
How much do you bet that a Carer will leave on in the washer on his first visit with the new worn socks?

OH, DEAR!
More time is lost while using CorelDRAW. Then the door chime chimed out, and in came Carer Mizra. I realised then that the seizure had to have lasted for at least three hours. I haven’t had one that long in weeks, if not months. But the after effects were minimal and short-lived. I’m waffling, sorry.

Well, part of another day lost, following my losing most of the night before! Isn’t life exciting? I told Mizra of the prolonged seizure and the Detox tea. He said he’d look into my problem with my JS Nectar Card later on. Kind of him.

What a concoction I had tonight!
Truly a Multinational Meal.
Nandos Peri-Pei lemon & herb extra Mild sauce:(Vinegar, Onion Purée (6%), Lemon Purée (4%), Sunflower Seed Oil, Garlic Purée (2.5%), Salt, Spice and Herb Mix (Cayenne Pepper, Paprika, Parsley, African Bird’s Eye Chilli), Stabilisers (Xanthan Gum, Propylene Glycol Alginate), Antioxidants (Ascorbic Acid, Rosemary Extract), Colour (Paprika Extract), Dextrose), Made in the UK.
Extra mild Peri-Peri Sauce.
‘Mother’s Recipe’ Pakistani Vegetable pickle:
Mixed vegetable pieces, mango, carrot, lime, green chilli, amba, haldar, karonda, kerda, or other seasonal vegetables, brine, edible common salt, acidity regulator (ins260), edible vegetable oil, spices, condiments, asafetida..
Polish Fresh Garden Peas
Local-grown potatoes:
Roasted in the oven, sliced and then added to the mix, with a little Marmite added.
Isle of Wight Brown tomatoes
Quartered and added.
Bulgarian diced pickled beetroots.
Mushrooms & Mushroom Ketchup
Can of Romanian Pea Stew
Asian Water Chestnuts added.
Kung Po Chinese sauce
The whole lot was mixed up and put into the microwave, on high for 8 minutes.
Two Italian cheese-topped bread rolls.

I’m anticipating breaking the record for Porcelain Throne Trotsky Terence visits in any one day, tomorrow. Currently standing at six. I used far too much of the Pakistani vegetable pickle on that meal.
I used half of that quantity this time.

Carer Mizra helped me wash my feet, before he medicated the leg wounds cracka and fissures.

🌺 Keep Well & Safe 🌺