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= =Last nights sunset==
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SATURDAY 15th AUGUST 2026
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I WOKE WITH THE MISERY OF YESTERDAY
STILL RAMBLING THROUGH MY MIND.
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04:45: I stirred. Mused, remembered, moaned, complained, self-lambasted, and decided all was lost; thus, I accepted the hopeless situation.
Nowt can be done, thanks to my haughtily non-communicative inept, antisocial, oligarchal, customer-hating, vilifying, snotty, TSB Bank’s refusal to transfer my own money from one account to another. And the consequences of this unfair, typical bank-like decision.
I also pondered whether I should demand all my money on Monday and put it in another bank or building society. After trying to convince the snotty, superior-sounding, bad decision-making, uncaring, customer-hating customer service staff… I stopped myself from daydreaming. Maybe I was a little bête noire in my thoughts and apprehension of the problem?
Should I go in on Monday with the expensive Carer, by costly taxi, to speak with them; Put on a smile, and act super-pleasant with them?
Even have a wash before I go? Practice in the mirror how to put on a smile without showing the five-tooth gap at the front of my mouth? Try to charm them into giving me my own money? I’ve put my truncheon in the three-wheeled walker, just in case.
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Off to the WC, an appalling session this one was. About six chunky, hard, thick, separate greenish-coloured chunks were evacuated, immediately followed by a long, semi-liquid flow of what looked like Chilli con Carne, which was the same colour as Chilli.
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I started working on the blog, finishing and new template, and the Carer arrived. Ejaz: 1 call; Mirza: 0 this week. It was Carer (no listening because I’m on my phone), Edward. On his usual form. Left medication where he used it, not back on the medication table. I asked him to return the pill pot from the computer desk. Other Carers had to search to find them. Then, when he’d shot off, I found the barrier cream in the same place. Times & Carers like this make me lean toward finishing with help altogether. However, it would be risky. But the value of Mizra & Ejaz is much-needed and irreplaceable, as is my money – I’m simply spending a lot more than I have coming in. I heard not a word from the financial institution that the Social Lady signed me up for. I think I know why. She explained that they would aim to make sure I have money over the total of the bills and would give me cash to spend. That total means I have to go out and mug someone or rob a bank to get my cash.
There’s a thought… a TSB bank maybe?
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Carer Imran
Inchie Today: Monday 17th November 2025
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– – He’s Easily Framed, you know…– –
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I’m fated to getting the occasional adumbration,
Like they will not go ahead with my trephination,
But that’s not going to give me any trepidation,
Nor my seizure giving me trips into oblivion,
Not my broken knee, or my fungal lesion…
Toothache Tiffany, or Cramp giving Colin…
My catheter, else my cartilages adumbration,
Glaucoma Gladys, and not to mention…
My bowels fail and non-retention,
Or even my overnight elucubration,
Mainly, the problem is my brain’s fragmentation,
I’m thinking of becoming a futilitarian!
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No question, I’m an excellent forgetter,
And getting worse, not better,
In some ways, I’m a bit of a backslider…
Job not done, cause I don’t remember,
The job I started, when I mentally meander,
Start another, and get all a bluster…
If I get a phone call, seizure or visitor,
Then get asked what to do by a Carer,
Did anyone tell them I had Dementia?
I may go to the kitchen to cook a burger,
Go to the toilet, and, well, bugger!
Come out and start using the Hoover…
Then, back on CorelDraw on the computer,
Then it might freeze, read the brochure…
But can’t see it, due to Gladys’ Glaucoma!
Then I smell the burning veggie-burger…
I swear, curse, become a self-belittler,
In comes a nurse to change the catheter…
Both leg strapping & socks off the Lymphorrhea,
We have a laugh, I hold this as dear…
Off she goes, leaving me feeling sadder,
To the wetroom to empty the catheter,
I immediately saw another Inchie blunder…
I’d left the tap running, the hot water,
Now it could not have run colder!
I got even angrier and bolshier…
Leaving, I hit the doorframe with my shoulder!
Depression Darius Dawned, oh, super!
I should write a book, could be a bestseller?
Under fiction, although true, do I care?
Near blind in my left eye, right one’s clear,
The left one’s view is cloudy and foggier,
I’ll have to inform the Doctor…
Get my eyes examined…
But each call, it’s a different Carer,
On the phone, it is hard for me to hear,
Ejaz & Nimra have been nowhere near,
When they were assured to appear…
They made life that little bit chirpier,
Talking to the new Carer,
I detected signs of dyslexia,
Suppose because I was disconcerted,
I had to tell him he’d undermedicated,
The Warfarin, I grabbed & imbibed,
How bad today was cannot be described.
It made me think I had cacodemonomania,
The neurologist mentioned the word cachexia,
He was talking of the effects of a seizure,
Nimra took a video of one I gave a chanticleer!
Ejaz helped me send it to the Doctor,
But no reply, nothing has been heard.
Life is getting harder, complicated, contrarier,
Each day I face enforced frustration & failure,
What can I do, can’t hear or see properly – Caramba!
Getting help? Ha! I’m a dégringolader,
With mind & body in need of many a chiropractor,
Failure, frustration, desperation & dysphoria.
Still, you don’t like to complain, do yer?
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I’m afraid that I’m going to have to cut down on this blog, seriously. For some time at least. Shame, cause I loved doing it so much. I’ll try to keep a cartoon, and an Ode, with a few words of the happenings on the day.
THE REASONS
Health and time. I’ve lost Ejaz. Other than that, I hope on a Wednesday. Nimra will not be coming again.
Carer Mizra, did one call today? I hope he can call more often, a grand help he is. Dispiriting.
Everything I do is taking so much longer.
The cock-ups, errors, and mistakes seem to be getting more frequent. In the last three days: Taps left on, remote control lost, bank and Virgin details cannot be found. Eight near tumbles (Cartilage & Dizzy Dennis).
The video of me having a seizure was taken thanks to Nimra, and Ejaz helped me work out how to email it to the Doctor, but no reply or appointment has come back yet. The trephination, it sounded to me, like it was going to be cancelled. Fair enough. Waiting for appointments with the Eyes, Ears, Nose and Throat department. Teeth, Ears & Glaucoma; Glaucoma is getting worse in the left eye when I shut my right eye; all I can see is a blur. Not good at all.
I’ve been fruitlessly begging for more Carers call time. Not that it is now a good thing, losing Nimra and, apart from Wednesdays, Ejaz.
When I was in the hospital last time, the last few days, several callers half-promised me help. Social, with finances, trying to get extra Carer time (Haha!),
Help with wheelchairs, ordering food online, my computer problems, and arithmaphobia. Suggested rehousing me in a home with 24/7 assistance available. Not that my only experience of living in one after the stroke, encourages me in the least. But no one has been in touch. I’m not surprised.
Depression-Darius has me in his grasp. With the bad news about my Carers, Dizzy Dennis, Concentration Konrad and Lost Balance Belinda all rampant today, I’ve lost the will and interest.
I’ll be trying to get the word list done again; it’s such a slow job. I still can’t work out how I lost the files all in the first place… Oh, yes, the social lady said she would get me some help on that score. Hehehe! I believed her!
As for when the Doctor said they’d resuscitated me. I was gobsmacked. I can’t remember anything of being anywhere for treatment.
That’s my moaning out of the way. Sorry.
Morning view
BP Hyper this morning!
Managed a mug of tea, before
I got carried away with words.
Carers table. Tided up by Carer
Nimra, before she left,
never to return. Sob!
Brightening up!
Floods at the end of the car park.
White car there again, oh,
and a red one too.
and 
kept me company all day.
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Have a good day!
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TTFNski!
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