Inchie Today: Wednesday, 26th August 2026

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THE LONGEST DAY
Not the most infuriating of days.
But possibly the most frustrating.
Errors, accidents & mistakes.
My self-esteem, well, what bit I have left, anyway, collapsed as I made cock-ups, errors, mistakes after mistake.
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Have to be a quickie. It is not Thursday, and I am only just starting this blog. Life is so hectic. My dream of peace & quiet in retirement has crumbled. So much to do yet;
1) Call oligarchal British Gas to tell them they have (supposedly) sent an engineer to check out the Gas meter five times, guaranteeing he would arrive, and not one has managed to get here in well over a year. They keep sending me emails demanding I supply them with a reading. Carer Ejaz has called them repeatedly, but he isn’t calling as often now. He sent them a photo of the meter. Which is out of date. They have increased my payments. What the &^)+#, can I do?
2) Both hearing aids are not working; I have to get someone to call the Audio Clinic, but make sure it does not clash with any other appointments.
3) The Dentist appointment needs arranging. Make sure it does not clash with any other appointments.
4) I’m still waiting for an appointment at the EENT to have the cataract laser treated.
5) Waiting for an appointment with Mental Health at Haywood House Hospital to get the results from the test and be referred to someone.
6) A neurology appointment to re-scan the TBI; is also on the waiting list.
7) Yesterday & this morning, the Doctor’s surgery phoned. Still wanting a Carer to call them re an appointment. I asked Carer Andrew three times yesterday. Said he could not get through the navigator AI waffle. Earlier this morning Thurs, I got Andrew again. Too early to even ask him to ring the Doctor. Then they sent a new Carer to join Andrew… and Andrew teaching someone what to do is a recipe for disaster. Looks like the new lad, Raj, will be calling now, so Ejaz and Mirza may call even less often. This is scary for me. They are both so supportive. Driving me to silly thoughts. I realised the futility of the situation while talking to the Doctor’s receptionist.
8) The bank needs to interview me again.
9) I’ve been told by two different sources that my chances of getting into a home are approximately zero.
10) The new instructions that I need to go to the QMC A&E told me that when the Catheter blocks, I must go by taxi, as this is a Medical Emergency.
The one time I went, once there and £24 out of pocket on the taxi there, it was for hours before a Doctor saw me. He could not replace the Catheter tube in three attempts. Then I was taken to another Doctor to try. He got it in on his second try. But the only instructions given were not to let the array pad holding the tubes in place come off. It fell off of its own accord the next morning. I phoned the hospital, got the department, and was told to see your district nurses. Even now, months later, I can’t figure out why I had to make sure the pad stayed in place.
11) Each of these appointment visits & arrangements will involve taxis and Carer costs.
Impossible to do without my hearing aids; Carers not ringing to make appointments when I asked them to (Only one, but that was the one who is hard work, and determined to do as little as possible and then as badly as possible). Such as laundry returned still wet, mopped the kitchen in only 5 minutes; I timed him and pointed out the dirt marks still on the floor between the floor cupboards. My future looks bleak, Care-wise.
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Through frustration, I over-waffled there. No time for a proper blog; I’ll just put the photos on.
It was all mayhem anyway. Three pages of notes made too; I’ll select and pick just a few.
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I’ve got too much to do for Thursday; no chance of doing a blog. I’ll try to put some old odes on WP.
Nurses’ visit, Social Lady, deliveries, doctors’ problems to sort, appointments to make…
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My Plans were destroyed again.
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This was tomorrow; I ended up in the hospital again. I’ll try to get something on the books for the 11-hour visit tomorrow. Writing this at 11:40hrs, when I got back from the QMC on Thursday. With the most painful & most uncomfortable, bloodied Catheter setup ever! Got to kiss tons off on this Wednesday one, and try to get something done on Friday about
Thursday’s abysmal failures.
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The start of the rot, Catheter-wise.

Doctor rang again wanting to speak to Carer; said I’d ask them again, but not interested yet.

Misra helped with showering, very much appreciated.

Dettol & SD card delivered.
Care navigator rang again to speak with Carer, Huh!
No interest when I asked them again to ring him.
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Night shots
Distance
Close-up
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TTFNski, Each
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Inchie: Friday Aug 21st: Nut Hospital Visit Two

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= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
NUTHALL HOSPITAL MEMORY TEST
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Just getting ready made me unsteady,
Getting washed, shaved & dressed,
My body ended up well battered,
The Carer arrival was estimated,
I got the time wrong; self-aggravated,
The plans became a little affected,
Called Ejaz; said he was on his way…
Worried about taxis, & what I’ll need to pay,
Intercom rang, t’was district nurses…
To check on my Catheter contraptions,
Ejaz arrived a minute later, messy,
They’ll return next week, Thursday,
Ejaz got me ready quickly, urgently…
Checked my money, rang for a taxi,
I again forgot to take the Kodak with me,
The taxi, going £18, derision…
Got to pay, there’s no tergiversation,
Coming back it was over £20, derision!
Fear of the test? Will it go badly,
It will be what it will be, surely,
I explained my problems, auditory,
Waiting for cataract lasering, visual,
Cognitive tests, MoCA, or ACE-III,
They already knew my history,
Hope my score doesn’t go too badly,
Figures needed to be added, subtracted,
Remembered, substituted, and divided,
The reading of a little convoluted story,
Recalling detail did not go marvellously,
Naming objects, one I think I failed on,
I muttered ice, Iceland, they waddle…
Beautiful things, they’re so adorable,
Felt a fool when she said it was a penguin,
The bird, I could not name, embarrassing,
Put in order? My efforts were anachronical,
Questions about time, place, & date…
Think some of my answers found comical,
Well, I’ve got other worries on my plate…
Why did I find this section problematical?
Ah, that’ll be another glitch, arithmetical,
Seems my result was much lower: disjoinable,
Than when I was last tested at Nuthall,
But I was not at all discontentful,
Results, assessed by a geriatrician,
Or Community Service Neurologist,
Then another visit to Nuthall,
But I’m not bothered at all,
Scared of BG, TSB; all Oligarchal,
I’m aware I’ve lost my sparkle…
My brain’s enthused with flapdoodle,
Well known for temporising,
Failing, falling, inturbidating,
Dithering and hypothesising,
Gluttonising, and aborting,
And need my life sorting!
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Inchie Today Sunday16th August 2026

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I lay in my high-class oligarch’s bed for ages after recovering from the horrible night’s sleep. Or rather, lack of sleep. My mind was stewing over so many worries and tasks that I had to get done today & tomorrow. The fear of certain carers being due, and missing Ejaz and Mirza, accompanied by , ,  and the odd twangs of pain from Neck-Pain-Nigel and .
I was a shadow of myself. Gloomy, depressed, and frustrated. I knew I had to get up; it was still early in the day, and I was sure I would have to get up soon to visit the . As I gently twitched parts of my body to test, feeling out which ailment would be master over me today, I was amazed when I moved and caught sight of the nocturnal Catheter pouch on the floor. (It’s got a very long tube – it was Anne Gyna, by the way) I was more surprised than the other morning. How the pouch hadn’t split, I don’t know. 18,500ml! This helped me break the deep depressive thoughts I had.
I confirmed the reading on the bag, and the rear-end evacuation was coming on, so I hobbled to the wet room. It was a mass of long-winded farts for about two or three minutes. Constipation in control again, and just like the last two mornings, a good few splurts from Trotsky Terence as follow-up. Then a comical, the perfect word for it, too!
Not at the time, but later, I saw the humorous side of it. I seem to get these funny things happening to me at any time, but mostly within ten minutes of getting up?  
It wasn’t me having them; I think I might doubt the veracity of my own writing.
Popeye had his spinach, Schwarzenegger had his muscles, Elvis had his hips, Hitler had Europe, for a short while. What do I get? Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, PN, Angina, Cataracts, a TBI, Scary Carers, a wank Bank (TSB) that will not let me move my own money around and talks down to me on the phone. Duodenal Ulcer, got shot twice, had a stroke, went partially deaf at 40 years old, Carers who do not turn up but I still get charged full whack, and seem determined not to communicate with me. They are very good at that. Arthritis, Cramps, and depression, like… well, very deep lately. But this has been written wittily to try and bring some smiles around.

Cause really, I’d be lost without the greatest supporter, Jenny. She is not very well at the moment. I try not to ring or email her while she is so poorly. My Angel, she is.
So I must tell you the tale; that is true. I am not moaning. Flipping heck, I’ve not said about the tumble in the toilet yet. So here it is, every aspect, honestly spoken… Well, written. Hehehe!
Please wish Jenny the best. 🤞🏻💗🫶🏻
I’d just cleaned up after the evacuation and flushed the loo. Decided to have a wash & shave. I reached for the toothpaste, and as I did, my famous right side wobbled- shoulder, leg and foot – and this time it had me over. I leant towards the porcelain to grab the WC, missed it, and my shaking right arm went in the WC’s water up to its elbow! I hit my chin and kneecap. The second Carer, the nice one, took this snap of it for me. It looked far worse than it was. On the plus side, at least I’d cleaned up the mess from Trotsky’s follow-through before I plunged my arm into the pan. Haha!
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Pleased to report that now the toenails have had £35 worth of cropping, I’ve been walking much less painfuller. I’ve clouted my chin and bruised the right knee, though. I mustn’t complain. I’m not sure why.
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BP was high. Carer looked at my chin, said nothing, and did nothing about it. Carer Prem washed it and put some ointment on it and a plaster. Phorpained my shoulder, back, Coccyx, and privates. He made three visits today. A nice, non-pushy Carer who listens.

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I found a source of solace in working on the computer today. Fair enough; it was a day of mistakes and faults, and a memory-mangling day, too. Without much doubt, I did have my thinking cap on. I thought that if I delved deeply into the record-keeping, blog, etc. I would not start panicking about the trip to the Titx TSB bank tomorrow. I’m sure it worked for a few hours. But it all came flooding back. Then I could not concentrate when I started updating the blog.

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I’ve got no idea if a lift has been arranged, and with the L9 bus and the Easy-Lift buses both stopping work, I’ll have to go by taxi. That is, if a Carer turns up to go with me. The bank insists that I take a Carer; if one doesn’t turn up, I’m in a mess. If one does turn up, the taxi fare will break me. And will so please the bank. It’s the aforementioned lack of communication that gets to me most. Now I’m a bag of nerves. Can’t get dressed on my own. Or the walker, sort the timings out, ordering taxis, Humph!
The kitchen really needs cleaning. The Catheter bag has not been changed for over a month. I need to phone the Post Office; I had an email saying they are delivering my parcel tomorrow! Can I stop them in time?
Lots more happened today, but I’m going to have to stop. I’ve got to phone British Gas about their non-arrival! Call the Social Lady about the money situation. I am a nervous wreck. Ball of anxiety. Frazzled, Anxious, jittery, edgy, tensed up, a worrywart, a hand-wringer, a basket case, disconcerted, emotional cripple, fretful, overwrought, distraught, self-conscious, in a discountenanced, in a dither, distracted, a neurotic, a fussbudget.
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LATE NIGHT NOSH
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Inchy Today: Saturday 15th August 2026

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= =Last nights sunset==
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SATURDAY 15th AUGUST 2026
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I WOKE WITH THE MISERY OF YESTERDAY
STILL RAMBLING THROUGH MY MIND.
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04:45: I stirred. Mused, remembered, moaned, complained, self-lambasted, and decided all was lost; thus, I accepted the hopeless situation.
Nowt can be done, thanks to my haughtily non-communicative inept, antisocial, oligarchal, customer-hating, vilifying, snotty, TSB Bank’s refusal to transfer my own money from one account to another. And the consequences of this unfair, typical bank-like decision.
I also pondered whether I should demand all my money on Monday and put it in another bank or building society. After trying to convince the snotty, superior-sounding, bad decision-making, uncaring, customer-hating customer service staff… I stopped myself from daydreaming. Maybe I was a little 
bête noire in my thoughts and apprehension of the problem?
Should I go in on Monday with the expensive Carer, by costly taxi, to speak with them; Put on a smile, and act super-pleasant with them?
Even have a wash before I go? Practice in the mirror how to put on a smile without showing the five-tooth gap at the front of my mouth? Try to charm them into giving me my own money? I’ve put my truncheon in the three-wheeled walker, just in case.
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Off to the WC, an appalling session this one was. About six chunky, hard, thick, separate greenish-coloured chunks were evacuated, immediately followed by a long, semi-liqui
d flow of what looked like Chilli con Carne, which was the same colour as Chilli.
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I started working on the blog, finishing and new template, and the Carer arrived. Ejaz: 1 call; Mirza: 0 this week. It was Carer (no listening because I’m on my phone), Edward. On his usual form. Left medication where he used it, not back on the medication table. I asked him to return the pill pot from the computer desk. Other Carers had to search to find them. Then, when he’d shot off, I found the barrier cream in the same place. Times & Carers like this make me lean toward finishing with help altogether. However, it would be risky. But the value of Mizra & Ejaz is much-needed and irreplaceable, as is my money – I’m simply spending a lot more than I have coming in. I heard not a word from the financial institution that the Social Lady signed me up for. I think I know why. She explained that they would aim to make sure I have money over the total of the bills and would give me cash to spend. That total means I have to go out and mug someone or rob a bank to get my cash.
There’s a thought… a TSB bank maybe?
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Inchie: Tuesday 11th August 2025

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Ode Of Thoughts
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Tuesday 11th August 2026
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06:15hrs: I bounded out of bed, took off my nocturnal Catheter as I leapt over the armchair, Tarzan-yodelling as I landed and ran off 200 press-ups. Followed by 100 squats, 150 bar lifts, 200 56lb arm curls, and 500 toe touches… 
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Alright, I’ll start again, then…

I stirred, coughed, and the pains from my bruised coccyx forced out a little argh under my breath. Bent down to take off the night Catheter bag, and Dizzy Dennis and Arthure Itis joined in the assault. I decided a wash, teggie cleaning and shave was needed. As I hobbled to the wet room, the knees and long, toenail-nailed toes, which had curled under the toe and caught on the carpet, produced some bad language from me. Shaking-Shoulder-Shirlely kicked off, and Lost Balance Belinda almost had me over as I went into the wet room, nearly dropping my three-pronged walking stick. Preparing the shaving tackle, I was laughing off the pain, and an evacuation from the rear-end started of its own accord; this proved to be one of the oddest visits I’ve ever had. I was so lucky, yes, lucky, that I was only 3 feet away from the Throne, and got down just in time. A sluggy wet mega-squirt or two, and it was all over… I thought. Seconds later, every blocked. The second coming came so slowly and needed so much input to force it out. And there was a lot of it. A little bleeding from my haemorrhoids, but not as much as yesterday. I remember thinking, ‘Thank heavens that’s done and dusted. I opted to do ablutions in a different pattern this morning. I cleaned where I could reach below the stomach, dried it off, and applied Barrier cream to the lower regions. I went to fetch a pair of PPs. Struggled a while to get them on, then did my teeth, and washed where I could reach,h bodywise. I started to shave.
I’d got the lather on, and blow-me-down, another evacuation started! Yet it was a rock-Hard torpedo job.
Three different performances. Hehehe!

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View of the mobile aids storage area. Formerly known as the balcony. Walking frame, walking sticks, wheelchair, square walker, and old 3-wheeled one.

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Iceland order arrived.
More…
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Afternoon, Carer Ejaz came. We caught the bus down to Mansfield Road, and it was agony! Each time the bus went around a corner or hit the rocks and cracks on the road, I had to lift myself up quickly to avoid pressurising the bruised coccyx, which brought on the arthritis in both knees! I’m rushing now, leaving a lot of stuff out, because it is so late; the last caller just arrived. You’ll understand, maybe, when I write with a fresher outlook to finish this blog. Sorry.
We walked to the ATM, and Ejaz helped by watching me to make sure I didn’t cock it up and lose my card (this has happened several times). Called at the Continental Foods Store; I’d have written the name, but I forgot what it was, but remembered what it was in the morning… well, afternoon. Ozen.
I forgot to take the Kodak Tim 2 with me, Grrr!
Ejaz got the last six bottles of Carter’s Soda Water and lemon wafers. Well, here’s a photo of the food I took later after getting home. Making a mess of this; I can’t spend much time (Wednesday), and I’ve got to get dressed and prepped for the trip to the hospital.

We got to the bus stop; Ejaz was worried about being late and overstaying his visit, and I felt guilty for not understanding what he told me earlier, letting him down, and I paid the price.
We’d just missed the bus. I felt terrible. Ejaz was getting annoyed and said we’d have to walk back up to the flats; I’m already late for my next client. I had to keep stopping repeatedly, for Anne Gyna was giving me Hell and breathing was so painful. Not to mention the back, the knees, the poor toes (had to wear slippers), and I got the dizzies a couple of times.
Got back to the flat, asked Ejaz to leave the bags on the bed. He gave me a painkiller. Off he went. No high fives.
Minutes later, the door chime went; it was Ejaz coming back. I let him in, and went back to the room, and saw he’d left his headphone thingamajig. I took it to the door and handed it to him. Swapped high fives.
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He’s so Caring & attentive, as is Mirza.
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I worked on this blog until Carer Prem came.
Hopefully his calling back about his music phone thingy was a good sign, and he’ll forgive me.
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Making a meal now; I hope to take a snap and find a way to add it to this blog. It took me hours to find the photo of the day’s meal. I’d taken it without the SD card in the camera. A regular failing of mine, mind you. Hehehe!
A slight mistake or a few were committed in making this meal. I baked the potatoes for too long, and they were too hard for my terribly truncated, rotting, breaking, falling-out teeth to cope with. RIP to another tooth, which kindly left a little bit of itself in the gum, just to make eating that smidge more painful (as the overcooked, leathery potato skin removed it from attendance in my mouth and sent it down into my gullet for disposal. I’m not looking forward to that exiting on my next Porcelain Throne evacuation! 
The blue cheese I purchased at the Continental Store was most disappointing. It cost me £4 for 120g. I expected it to taste like Roquefort cheese. A great, weak-flavoured cheese this was. The foreign name on it was- I’ll get the pack out of the bin… Gorrit! It reads: Turkish – Detected: ‘Yörem, Kars Küflü peynir.’ I put this into Google’s translator; it gave me “Yörem, Kars Mouldy Cheese”. That was a surprise. But not such a big one was how tasteless it was. Humph! £4 worth!

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TTFNski Each
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