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My problems continue to be compounded,
But on this subject, I’m not particularly confused,
For my abilities have been commandeered,
I knew this was coming; I’ve long feared,
But there is no way this can be repaired,
Tasks, dreams, & wants cannot be completed,
Failure has to be conceded, accepted…
Although the causes are comprehended,
Problem-solving gets my brain circumvolved,
My balance gets hazy, giddy, circumlocuted,
Dark Dank Depression Darius is generated,
Self-pity can often be provoked, expedited,
Offers of help fail, after being countenanced,
Carer Ejaz today, really-really helped…
He got me an appointment in Sherwood,
He’s cheeky, but such a lovely lad,
They’ve cut his calls down. I was so sad,
Today, once again, he made me glad,
Suddenly, things don’t feel quite as bad!
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05:40: I remembered to do the balance exercises this morning. Honestly! First time in days, Hehe!
Got the nocturnal pouch off, and while emptying it, the need for an evacuation arose. I should think it took me at most 60 seconds to get seated, and Pwhor!
An Irish stew-like torrential burst of semi-liquid shot out as if it were nuclear-powered! Well, it was all over in seconds, ten at most! That was a bit of luck. If I’d been in the kitchen, I’d never have made it in time!
Off to the kitchen…
I’d left the bloody hot tap running all night again!
Good news, remembering the balance routine. Then, my being close enough to avert a Porvelain Throne embarrassment in the wet room. Now bad in the kitchen. Do you realise I’ve had more good than bad luck this morning? 
!
While waiting for the kettle to boil, I took three photographicalistions with my Kodak Tim 2 camera from the kitchenette window, of the dark, rainy view it beheld. The first one was not a good one at all, 
of the front car park. I tried again and made an even worse job of it. However, this did not stop me from making another effort, determined to get one 
passable photo out of the session. Well, it wasn’t going to challenge Savis Bailey’s reputation, Haha! But it was a smidge improved on the first two, I think.
I got the Health Checks sorted. Then I got the results put into the NHS graph thingamajig. It was nerve-racking how long it took to open Excel!
Carer Manpreet arrived. She sorted the medications and wanted to do a body check, cleaning, and foaming, but I explained that I have not had a shorter shave or wash yet, due to my newfound ability to keep leaving the hot tap running in the kitchen, daily!
Manpreet checked the HC figures; I’d got one wrong again. Good Luck 2 – Crap-Luck 6. That soon changed the odds. 
As Manpreet was leaving, the forgotten about Ocado order arrived.
Manpreet took the bags into the kitchen for me, which was very welcome and appreciated.
Some treats for the old man had come. Biscuits were Scottish Shortcakes. Cheesy curls and onion rings were put in the main junk-computer room for ease of access 
to nibble. He-he!
Jason’s sourdough rolls. Cheesy-topped rolls. Tucks, cheese & caramelised. Freshly cooked beetroot and cooked Polish Kielbasa sausages, and several bottles of Spring water.
On with the blogging at long last. I was titivating a CorelDraw graphic, and…
The computer froze! I was depressed instantly! I pondered over what had caused this for a while, and soon realised the only answer, not a cure, was to turn it all off at the power. I crossed fingers, and did. I waited 
for a few minutes and took another photo from the kitchen window. The first one of the slower-melting snow in the field.
Then one of the front car park for the third time. This one came out clearer. But it was a lot lighter, so I expected a better job.
Then I went back to the computer and turned it on.
I think the photos were taken out of fear or frustration, at least as a way to forget or hide the problem.
The computer came on all right. I temporarily changed some details in the Excel graph, changed them back, and the programme saved each one. So far, so good. Then I opened CorelDraw.
WHAT A PICKLE!
It started to load; it’s always been a slow job. When, as usual, CorwlDraw opened the last-edited page, I got so many error messages. I was bamboozled.
I was still trying to sort out the problems (over an hour lost so far), and Carer Misra arrived. He checked the second HC figures for me. Peptac and a painkiller were given. While he was here, the door chime rang out, and Carer Ejaz came in to do a more extended visit. Now I was getting more muddled than ever. Nizra was thanked, and he departed. Ejaz took the laundry down and got it in the washer.
Ejaz returned and took up the task of calling Virgin Media. Oh, no, first helped and guided me through an email they sent me yesterday evening. We had to change the password and merge details with my EE account. That took ages, but worked nicely thanks to Ejaz’s input.
Then, as he saw how I was struggling to see correctly, Ejaz suggested I ring the Doctor to get a referral for the EENT department to see about my worsening Glaucoma. Good idea. He called them and spoke with the patient assessor for some time. Handed me the landline handset to answer the bloke’s questions, he sounded as usual, uptight, short and sharp in speech.
I was starting my reply…
AND THE LINE CLUNKED AS HE CUT ME OFF!
As Ejaz and I spoke of the problem, Ejaz decided to ring the EENT directly. We got the number from the web. No answer. As we chatted further, I remembered that it was not the Doctor who referred me to the EENT over my Cataracts, it was the optician!
I got the same Sherwood optician’s number, and Ejaz rang them to ask for an appointment on a Wednesday, then he could go with me. After a short phone call, he declared that he’d got an appointment for me at 12:20hrs next Wednesday, 26th November.
Thank heavens for Ejaz! The lad went down to collect the laundry, returned with it, and hung it up for me. He’d looked after me well today with the appointment making. Thanks, lad!
The only issue is that no cleaning was done. No paperwork done. And no date checking. Not Ejaz’s fault, did a great job, but ran out of time. I’ve begged the social to give me more Carer time, but no.
Next week, nothing will get cleaned either, as we are going out to the opticians!
This place is going to be in a right mess.
Still, I am delighted to get to the opticians, and hope he can refer me to the EENT to get the left eye sorted. Lefty is so faded and blurry that I can’t really use it. I was thinking of getting an eye pad. Does anyone have any advice out there, please?
There’s no doubt that if he does pass me on, it will be a long wait. Can’t be helped. A bit like me. That’s not true. Ejaz & Mizra do their best and are pleasant with it. But Ejaz is only doing one call at night every day, except Wednesday, which is making things difficult. To put things in perspective.
After Ejaz rushed off, I went to make a brew of tea. I must get around to seeing if the computer will work again yet.
That’s how late it is!
Carer Ahram did the late call.
Ejaz might do the night call.
I got back on the computer.
It took me ages and a lot of tweaking to get CorelDraw to load the last graphic used. I had to move files around into a less heavily used folder, so many that I can’t remember where for next time this happens.
I loaded eventually, but it would not save. I had to search for CDR files and delete some to get it to save, but it isn’t working at the moment.
I used CCleaner and then Norton to clear more, hoping I haven’t buggered something up and that it won’t start in the morning.
Highly satisfactory!
I’ve had successes today, thanks to the Carers, particularly Ejaz, with appointments obtained.
But plenty of failures.
FED UP!
TTFNski
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I dream of good health,
Pleased with the photo I took this morning. It was an incredible
Of to the 
for an evacuation. 
one is made with fragile, thin material, cotton, I think. It’s comfy, but in winter it’s a bit cold to wear without a dressing gown. 
Then off to the main junk room and into the bacony to take a couple of photographs. The first one of the dead end beyond the 
car park. The puddle of soil
As I turned to get back into the flat, I twisted 
, but the
I carried out the first BP checks and recorded them on the whiteboard to go on the computer later. Then made a brew of Typhoo extra-strong tea and had a couple of bikkies dunked and eaten. When I say a couple… Hehehe!
I got to the door, and nobody was there. As I was closing the door, I espied a small parcel on the floor outside. It was some re
ady-filled Enoxaparin hypodermics. I’m glad they sent them, just in case.
Tsk! Then Manpreet got some Phorpain, well, it’s another name now, but the same thing, just not strong enough, only 10%, not the usual 20%… which also had gone down from 30%. 
When Manpreet left, I went to try the Procelain Throne again.
The computer went into sleep mode just as I was pressing the Kodak Tim-2 button.
I forgot to take the flash off! Hehe!
Gorrit!
Later, I went to take a snap of the sunset. But by the time I’d found Kodad Tim-2, I was too late and missed it. Grumph!
I zoomed in to catch the last of the sun as it came around the globe.
Then even closer. This snap reminded me of something, but I’m blown if I can remember what it was now. Huh
Joined in immediately after the 
got seated, an urgent, panicky desire to use the Porcelain Throne arose; I got up and nearly fell down again, thanks to 
frame as I was taking off the dressing gown. Multitasking should be taken off of my agenda. On the plus side, I got down on the plastic seat in time, but only just. 
was gooey, soft, yet running? Boy, I’m going through the toilet rolls and fresh air sprays! 
legs up on a chair, and was soon in the land of Nod! Accompanied, unfortunately, by 
.
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0420hrs: I woke up coughing, and my eyes were running… and struggling to contain the rear-end evacuation that was plainly on its escape route of its own accord. 
I went onto the balcony to see what the end of the car park was like. I think they must be parking to block access like this on purpose? Not that it matters to me. The white car is now parked halfway across the chevrons, with support from a blue van. I imagine they had a valid reason for this fire engine and ambulance blocking tactics. I think 
I could see a pool of water near the park’s entrance and exit. Maybe the tarmac has bec
It doesn’t seem that long since I was walking that route every day and just loved doing it. Whatever the weather was like. No more!
that was a bit of a blow to my morale. I thanked her for her help & understanding, and bade her farewell. She took the waste bags with her. Wishing her luck, I gave her a mini-hug too. I hope that Ejaz will not be moved. Wonder who will do the morning call. This afternoon, Ejaz didn’t know about the changes. So he might not be doing it. I hope it might be Carer Carer Carer Nimra. 
front and Chestnut Way car parking in the bays.
Laid out before me at the kitchen window were hundreds of houses, homes, bungalows: being in my sad mode, I thought of what they were doing. There will be burglars, families at war and in love, students, Bulgarians, Irish, Indians, Pakistanis, Africans, Nigerians, Chinese, Serbians, Welsh, Scots, Poles, Ukrainians, Jews, Hungarians, Jamaicans, Myanmar, Bangladeshi, Palestinians, Libyans, etc, etc out there. Those in need, in pain, missing home, we all have one thing in common. 
Gobble, slurp, belch!
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Morning view
BP Hyper this morning!
Managed a mug of tea, before
Carers table. Tided up by Carer
Brightening up!
Floods at the end of the car park.
and 
kept me company all day.
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, waking me with a start, and Twitching Neck Ted started. I fumbled my way out of bed, and just about every ailment joined in making an almost dangerous trip to the hallway to press the admit button for Carer Nimra. I nearly fell over the long night pouch and had to fight against
it 
was already weakening his grip on me. Good! 
I went on the balcony and did not dare open the windows to take these two shots, with the mist and rain out there. The first taken was straight ahead
.
Not that I’d got one really in the first place, other than a determination to get yesterday’s blog completed. When it came to using the word list, I opened one and realised it was just a template I’d made to start replacing all of the lost ones from scratch. I was morose and 
yet, either.
When I cottoned on to what I’d done and what I hadn’t.
I stopped and went to make my first mug of tea of the day. And the phone rang. The nurse will not be coming today after all.
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Kicked off the moment that the toothbrush was used, and at the same time, for no apparent reason, 
joined in the assault.
he stayed for the rest of the day! 
Carer Nimra arrived as I was hanging up the Khagoul I’d handwashed in the wetroom. She checked the right leg, removing the straps to reveal that the nurse had applied a large bandage over the leaky blisters. I had no idea she had. Which goes to prove that 
is also on the job with the other ailments. I’m anticipating others will join in soon. She checked the HC figures, foamed the ankle and leg and put the straps back on, not necessarily in that order. Nirma, kindly give me a dollop of Photpain Gel on my lower back and rub it in well, along with a Codeine 30g and two paracetamols, as part of the usual medications. Said my thanks, and she departed. 
All a part of the mystery from Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal Dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Dank Depressing Darius, Memory Mangling Malcolm, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhoea Leslie, Sandra’s Seizures, Arithmaphobia, Fractures Kne Frank, Cartilages Choe & Carol, Arthur Itis, and Toothache Tiffany – I may have missed a few off. Along with the Fata Morgana, hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae, Whoopsiedangleplops, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, and then 
Class One! 
It was foggy and raining when I went to make a brew of tea, so I got Kodak Tim Two and took dome photographs from inside 
the balcony of the views on offer. The first one to the right. This second one is slightly to the right. 
strategic parking experts’ results in the end car park. I hope we don’t need to call the Fire Service. Health & Safety? Tsk!
I got that blog posted and stood up to treat myself to another mug of tea, and have some bikkies to dunk! But, no! 
gave way
,
he joined the other pains, and he was not playing at it either. I gulped some Peptac, knowing it was not going to help, which got me even more pissed-off with myself. I then started sorting out two of the drawers. Then, back to searching everywhere in the room, without any luck, I even looked in the wet room, kitchen and junk room! Under the recliner, cupboard, desk, table, in the balcony… Huh! 
would visit me, that would have been great – it would not have solved the problem, but I would not have been bothered!
growing deeper all the 
time. Not a bad nosh.
I took this snap out of the kitchen window of the late-night view. It came out very dark, too dark to see anything. In the morning, I lightened it a bit.
.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
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Up at 04:10hrs! I am a fool!
went to work on me. He stayed for the duration of the hour-and-a-half-long ablution session. During which, both knees kicked off – Why? I’ll tell you. Hehe! 
gave way, and I clouted both knees as I went down to grab the sink to prevent a whole tumble. (I’m getting wise to these knee collapses now!) – 
.
I went to the kitchen after abluting, medicating, perfuming and dressing. Got the kettle on and took this shot through the kitchen window of the rain. Took me a while to work out what was what in this photo. The reflections with the flash showed more of what was behind me than of what was in front of me. Interesting detail. He says! Almost artistic, even if it was unintended. Haha! 
to try again. 
The higher shot of the sky proved a bit less successful… but I’m used to not being successful. I’ve had Years of practice. Haha!
ot of me, finally getting my first mug of tea of the day! Nirma took a good shot with Kodak Tim Two.
I handwashed a khagoule and the other pair of under-socks and hung them to dry in the wet room.
? Ejaz thinks I may have made it while in a seizure? I guess he’s right; he reminded me of the most prolonged seizure, as far as I know, that I’ve had. In August, I think. After I’d recuperated, I’d put the biggest load of verbal garbage in the blog, a right load of hogwash. I took a photo of it and showed it to the Warfarin DVT blood test nurse later, and it was an unreadable load of tommyrot – to quote her. Now there’s a thought; if I still use the computer while under the influence of a seizure, could I have made a food order and not known it? Just a thought.
The Asda order arrived!
manager will be calling me soon, I’m sure.
I put a potato in the cooker to warm up with my daily meal. Then returned to the computer to try again to concentrate on getting yesterday’s
tter.
What look like chips on the left of the tray are Marmite Cheese Puffs. A packet of pretend crab sticks, sugar-snap peas, & pork & pickle pork pies! It tasted Grrreat! A tub of lemon & lime yoghourt for dessert!
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05:30hrs: I was woken by 
Who I felt was trying to detach my head from my body. Within seconds of waking up, he gave up trying, and then I had the attention of 
were suffered.
.
As gently as I could, I found and brushed the few teeth I had left. I had to have an 
; I’d not had one for eight hours.I dropped the toothbrush. Which bounced of the edge of the sink and fell on the floor. 
and 
though! I’d calmed down after taking a break and taking this photo of the morning view. I took one of the sky as well. But it 
seemed to come out so differently coloured from what my eyes saw when taking it? Perhaps I was still annoyed?
Both knees, and where I could reach on my back. Then on to the Barrier Creaming. Under arms, under my man-breasts, between the top of the legs, and my 
lower private parts were done. I’ll ask Carer Nimra to do the knees, ankles and feet for me with the foam and emollients in the morning, before she puts on the feet undersocks and strappings. I’d be lost without the Carers.
I very carefully Germolened the extra sensitive lower regions, both of them. The right one keeps changing size?
Next, another delicate 
operation, but oh, it so cooled down the stinging! I almost started singing for joy at the relief.
, 
and used the nasal sprays. Got the Ophthalmic eyedrops in. The usual performance again. I’m sure I missed more than I got in the eyes. The liquid runs down the cheek, so I have to shut my lips in case any trickles into the mouth. It did once
The ready-made Parselt Box meals arrived. I bought a few of the faggot and mashed potatoes in gravy ones, they were on offer.
Kitchen window photographs, taken late on. First, to the right; the second, to the left. It seemed to be getting 
lighter? It may be me getting tired, or is there a slight possibility that I may have made a bit of a grammatical error, a 
and put them in the wrong order? This is not out of the ordinary.
Is still playing me up from this morning’s enforced genuflectioning.
Got my faggots, potatoes & gravy meal ready, and took a snap of it. Well, I thought I did. But I couldn’t find it on either the SD card or the internal memory. Again! Another lost snap!
?
I was searching for another lost snap of this morning’s piccy of the microwave. Could I find it? Well, No!
This took me back to my anklesnapping days. Faggots, 3d – (1½p) (Tom Sanderson, Arkwright Street) for six in those days, were a part of the luxury dining in our house! 
. Ejaz. I asked him to take the leggings and under-socks off on this last call, so I can enjoy a shower on Wednesday morning. There I go again, making plans. When will I ever learn?
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Three on the right are from a video my Carer took of me enjoying a seizure…
seconds, I was out of it.
I’ll ask Ejaz on Wednesday to find a way,
is rattling away now,
Early morning rain.
A little later, I went on the
The gone-midnight feast!