Do you know… are you listening?
There were times today; I’m not kidding…
When I almost knew what I was doing!
Twelve goes at the Catheter irrigating,
There must be summat else, it’s irritating…
So much I keep on forgetting,
Doreen Dementia’s inquinating…
My memory, she’s masticating…
The Doctor’s ready for cognoscing,
My concentration is cadencing,
I await good luck commencing,
My brain is beyond assubjugating.
I suppose all this should be heartbreaking?
But a chance of some little ameliorating…
I’ve got cheesy potatoes in the oven baking!
I can smell the cheese as it’s melting…
I bet this is going to taste belting!
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20:15hrs now. Another day flashes by. What I’ve done and why. Who’s been to see me? Can’t remember, can’t decree… Been a sad muddled day for me! So, some photos you can see, Feeling so confused, I could cry!
First Pouch emptying…
Before the mist descended.
Food order. Some treats for the Carers.
One of the afternoon pouch emptying. Amazing colour, healthy looking!
Nice parking today!
Mug of Glengettie, note-less notepad, and a nose bleed.
Blimus! This one filled up quickly.
Late Carer Josef called. Only needed some painkillers to ease the mild agony from the Catheter bag tube in Little Inchy. Argh!
The plan was to show a photo of the served-up nosh here. However: The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry!
No matter how carefully a project is planned, something may still go wrong with it. The saying is adapted from a line in “To a Mouse” by Robert Burns: “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.” Yes, Inchie forgot to put the SD card back in the camera again! So the evening shot and shot of the TV on, also, as Rabbi Burns said… “Gang aft a-gley “.
When I emptied night pouch, I did remember to put the car in first. Tsk!
Not a good colour.
When I was nodding off, I needed to utilise the. again. The visit took me half an hour or so overall. Sticky, gooey, messy. The actual evacuation maybe lasted a minute. The cleaning up & medicating… ages! Costly business nowadays. Last year the above cost me £2.19 – Now… £4.99! But it does a good job of easing .
On that rather sordid note, I’ll leave you now. (Fri Morning) And get this blog checked. (I’m bound to miss some mistakes, of course, I’m getting good at that recently) and sent off to WordPress.
I woke after what I believed was a six-hour dream, and the memory of the ‘Gone-Missing-Laundry’ came to mind; as I was getting depressed and morbid at the prospects of having no dressing gowns, spending a fortune to replace them and the throws that may turn up, or likely will never will, and the email from the bank asking for confirmation and why I have bought the same things that I~~ did three months ago…
Then the real worry came to me. Wearing trousers for the Brain Scan at the hospital which is going to produce at least agony to poor Little Inchy as the catheter tube pulls and tugs again his fungal lesion. Next, the thought of having no dressing gown to change into and get out of the pain-giving trews when I get home to relieve the pain hit me… Argh!
A Mild Depression Dawned!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – When I forced my tormented body and mind to rise from the depths of the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner, I found that the Catheter punch contents were…
. At the highest level of colouration on the chart. .
I think there may be a slight chance, remote possibility, hundred-to-one shot, that today may not be a good one. Then again, when was my last good day? was not too hopeful of finding my ‘taken-away-to-be-laundered clothing’. The chances, must be slim, but she did say she’d have another look around for me.
Found my laundry. But no throws in there.
Morning: CorelDraw not letting me add any photos. Trouble getting into WP. Mousee taking me left & right, not up and down? Fearing the worse here…
The laundry, containing three nightgowns, I have another that I’m wearing at the moment that is getting a smidgeon whiffy, appears to have been lost or returned to the wrong client. I’m scared to send any more stuff to the laundry. The value of these dressing gowns is infinitesimal… no, sorry, I meant inestimable; Purely for the pain relief they give me from wearing trousers with the tube inserted into Little Inchie, thus causing agony, and . So, when indoors, I do not wear trousers at all, just one of the now sadly gone missing at the laundry dressing gowns. Tomorrow, I must get the trews on again to go to the QMC for the first brain scan. Lift arriving at 12:30hrs – lift home at 15:30hrs. Easy-Link confirmed this on a telephone call today. Bless them. The thought of having no dressing gown to wear when I return is galling. I dare not go around with just a gown on when someone other than Carers is due. I can almost feel the pain from trouser-wearing already. Argh!
There may not be a blog tomorrow – I’ll see how things go, time-wise.
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With no larger night bags available – I came close to having an explosion of urine showering this morning. Talk about overfull!
The ankles were a smidge swollen, and the ankle ulcers were more prominent than they usually are. No pains, though.
After a pot of porridge, onto the computer.
Two photos of rare morning glimpses of the sun. Not good ones, mind.
An absolute pleasure doing some pareidoliaing Especially with these cloud-creatures in view.
In the afternoon, the sky became almost of an oh, so pretty Sepia colouring.
At last, the urine had cleared on the third emptying. But, on the seventh one… Oh, dearie me!
Silly me got these out of order. These ones are from the waking half-hour when. I wandered around the rooms in the dark taking pictures. Why? No idea! But here they are…
Tatters in the slow cooker.
Suddenly not feeling very well. I’ll pack up now, don’t want to be unprepared for the Brain scan tomorrow.
AMAZING (To me) SUNSET SHOTS Early in the evening, ghost-clouds, Awesome. Back to the brown beauties!. Gone from view sun, the sky goes back to blue? Nightie-night! What a series of changes in colour. Never seen this before.
came again. No signs of the laundry being found. This could be costly; three dressing gowns, a bath towel, woolly hats, the Carers’ chair throw, and likely more stuff that went into the bag and will have to be replaced. That is if I don’t mysteriously find the bag hidden somewhere… and if they cannot be located, of course. There is always a chance they may come across them. I kept thinking maybe there were not taken and searching the room… repeatedly; but I never found the bag. I’ve had to order some more dressing gowns, but can’t get them delivered before next week, cost me well over £100 quid. Not much goes right for me… You might have noticed? Huh!
No meal tonight as such. Had a pot noodle, made and added some gravy, and dunked a bread roll in it. Nice!
Got my head down. Nodded off pretty quickly, and it felt as if I had a dream that went on all night. I didn’t wake up once! But the dream, that was of my journeying on a bus somewhere, and it kept getting lost… things seem to be in the 1950s, a conductress in the Bristol Lodekka bus.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Heck of a shock here today! The NHS input site advised me to ring NHS 111 starlight away, So I did!
But they were too busy and told me to visit the NHS 111 site. So, I did.
An hour later, I filled in the questions asked & guessed at the choices made.
Sent it off and was told someone would contact me later. They are very busy, and this may take some time, be patient. So, I did!
I went to make a brew, and the telephone rang – I was surprised I heard it in the kitchen, but, there you are, I did.
Answered many questions and had to guess at a few. The nurse had an accent, and the kine was not good, so it took a time to review all the needed details. Ultimately, she decided that the SYSs 128, and 119, with respective DIAs 57 and 59, were okay? This despite the NHS monitoring site telling me it was Too Low and to ring 111?
Don’t feel too confident about this. But then again, it’s unsurprising; they are the lowest readings I’ve ever had?
Well, the lowest B~P readings ever, advised to ring 111 – told to go online, spent ages sorting required details. Told it was okay. And earlier, this above when I woketh up. Similar farces these two. If the blood in the wee is level 6 or 7, I’m supposed to ring 111 – Ha!
I was woken up (Didn’t get settled until around 04:00hrs) and was woken by the arrival of Carer Sam. I was half out of it, having just been stirred reluctantly back to life. Think we had a chinwag, and Sam took the washing nada waste bag on her way out. Thank you.
Porcelain Throne visited, cleaned up the kitchen, dropped the milk bottle, and stubbed my toes again. The brain was not too interested in being creative and went on strike a few times when I got nothing done whatsoever; just seemed to sit here thinking but not knowing why or what of?
The yes were still bad, and concentration as well.
Dizzy Dennis, The Kathleen Catheter tube, and Anne Gyna all gave me bother of some sort. I really was only half here for many hours. Scary! Sort of light-headed, I suppose… mind you, I still am now seven hours later.
Lost the camera but found it a few hours later, hidden in front of me to the right of the computer – How the hell did I miss that?
Liberty-Global Virgin Media went down.
I made a brew and fell asleep for a while…
A while? Four bloody hours!
Carer Jo-Anne arrived; I was still a bit vague about things.
After the gal left… Ah, it was Jo-Anne I think that tool the washing? I could be wrong; of course, it has been known.
No sunset tonight. Boo!
Found the camera.
Lost the eye drops.
Sadly no chance of any sunset tonight… Sob!
Took early evening shots.
A couple of hours late, these…
Very little snow left now
Then got the soup and put the potatoes and soya bits in with it, then the seasoning. But could not find the mint sauce? Are a lot of things disappearing today?
Looking okay to me.
Blogging for another hour or two. Got about ten minutes’ worth of work done, Huh!
Carer Ayowoke arrived. The first time I’d seen him. Nice lad. He gave me a roster for next week, no Carer Richard in it! I asked if he knew anything about Richard, but he did not know him.
Did some more effort on this blog, but I still can’t get my head around the NHS telling me to ring NHS 111, and then eventually, telling me to log onto the web with NHS 111. After having to log in all my details, telling me that the Blood Pressure figures were okay?
I got the nosh on and served up. Another part-canned meal. A can of Asda Chunky Lamb & Vegetable soup. Couldn’t find the mint sauce to add to it, I think maybe it may have gone out of date? (Spit!) Added vegetable stock and some Pertranic, Cooked & sliced potatoes, just one finger knick!. Soy bacon thingies added; the final bit… Wholemeal rolls for me to dunk and dip! And soon, I’d demolished it! Eating every morsel and bit! Flavour Rating: 705/10.
The late Carer was Carole-Anne. Still no . We had a mini natter & laugh. Refreshing!
I woke up as my ginormously flabby body hit the floor! Landing conveniently on my bottom, but rather, unfortunately, the burst open . It was the mess of sorting things out that got to me rather than the bleeding itself. Handily, it was almost easy to get me back up on my bloated feet and legs… The first job was to check . I placed some paper towels inside the Protection Pants first, then looked over the pouch, grippers and tubing. All seems to be still attached.
Off to the wet room, giving the door frame a mini shoulder-charge as I went in. That hurt more than anything else did. Hehehe! I didn’t fret about this being half asleep; I expected that , and would cause me some problems. Even joined in with an . Only a little one, but enough for me to knock the Germoloid, Daktacort and Savlon creams off of the floor cabinet. Then after the haemorrhoids were treated… the always ‘Painful-Job’ of Cleaning up and ointmentationing !
After a multitude of Argh! – Ouches, curse words and loathings, and a moment of ‘Why Me Mate’ emotions, it was done.
I was amazingly calm and physiological about things… at least, I think I was? That’s probably not the word I should have used? It could have been a sign of my acceptance of the circumstances or my rotten luck? I may have been sick to the back teeth (mind you, there’s only one of them left in the mouth now) of hearing myself moan and whining on about my inabilities, ailments, frustrations, Accifauxpas, Whoopsiedangleplops, eyesight, hearing, Cathy Catheter pains, shortage of pouches, and the seemingly never-ending Bladder-Infection. Being bald, overweight, Duodenal Donald, Little Inches Phimosis and fungal lesion, Peripheral Neuropathy, having two strokes, being shot twice, scared shit of going in water. Now, there’s the , and the . The palpitating of the mechanical ticker. The almost persistent No help attainable for things like the computer and letters that are either too small or complicated for me to hear, see or understand? This will, I assume, be due to the attention gleaned of… .
No night bags all week, so I have had to empty the day bag overnight a few times. Hey-Ho! Then off to the most popular room in the flat, the room. Another battle is to encourage the evacuation product to evacuate. Haha!
The carer arrived, got the medications sorted and had a little chinwag. Then… back to typo the again. on the way back to the , with still in command.
Got some Apache potatoes in the crock-pot after removing the growth shoots, of which there were dozens of.
AGAIN! Getting fed up with this. Surely thinks, being so solid as they are, you’d expect the visits to be less often, not more?
Made a mug of Glengettie… and took these snaps below.
I enjoyed watching the man and his tail-wagging dog.
Got on the computer… What was going right… well, nothing was real. Memory blanks for words and happenings. Distractions via the agony of the tube in poor little Inchies!!! I think this may be due tri the lack of night pouches. The nurse did say it was important to put the night bag on as it gives the day bag a chance to flow, getting rid of the infection as it did so. That makes seance to me, but no bags have arrived yet. They certainly won’t arrive at the weekend, so the stinging pains look to be contended with a little longer. Then the pain from the evacuating product causes more bleeding from . Of course, agonising pains mean nothing to me whatsoever.
Back again to the Wet room.
Fancy that one of the Enoxaparin needles was bent. Still got in the mould of elephantine stomach both times safely.
Youngsters were spotted trying to make a snow slide for their multicoloured plastic, whatever they were called.
Got another reminder from Severn-Trent!
By gum, the snow’s cleared mighty fast?
Aha, it looks like we might see sundown shortly.
The sunset began earlier than usual.
The sun was going down so fast… It seemed like just ten minutes later… In the first of these shots, just caught the last glimpse of the sun as it disappeared from view. The sunset was all over, just some reflection from the disappeared sun. Not sure if reflection is the right word… can anyone help, please?
Carer Josef arrived, we got the medications done and had a little natter. Which I enjoyed
Carer Jo-Anne – no night bags. Ah, well!
Closed down the computer around midnight and got some nosh sorted
Apache potatoes (7.2/10) Imitation Porkies (6/10) Orange tomatoes (8.3/10) Sourdough rolls… (7/10) Lathered with delicious Flora Soya butter. (9.2/10). (For Billum in Ohio) The average score is beyond my skills at the moment.
I enjoyed it, and emptied the 7th-level rated urine coloured. pouch.
I took this wobbly, blurry shot of the pouch as I emptied it. A bad photograph. Due to my bending and shaking and bad eyes. The colour was, as I said, top, worst graded 7.
Not much gen today. It’s been another in-and-out-of-it day, up and down, and I fell asleep on the computer chair. Carer Carolynne, or Sam, or… came in and woke me, saying I? was slowly slipping floorwards… Hehe!
A smidge of bloody urine in the well-filled bag this morning.
Emptied the bag and bucket, washed and disinfected. Got the waste bags sorted. And called to the Porcelain Throne. Messy! Got the ablutions done, many cuts shaving, but nothing serious. Then… back on the Throne for the second session. Cleaned the floor.
Checked on the lack of food in the fridge. Hope the new bank card arrives soon… then I’ve got to get the details changed on all the sites… Oh, dear. Off to get the ablutions done. No showering; it is too early to disturb folks with the noise of the drain and pump. Had a stand-up job. But it still took me over two hours to finish everything, including Throne visits three and four. (Yes!) Snf that was without doing the teeth (I forgot, Humph!) And didn’t medicate Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, Harold’s Haemorrhoids or even put the eye drops in! I did the olive oil in both ear holes.
Had a mock clean-up in the kitchen. Then, much to my surprise, the Ocado delivery arrived. This was because Ocado takes your money as you ordered (before the card was cancelled) and then compensates you for any shortages within the next five working days, as I understand it.
The good news was that they had sent some Apache potatoes, and bread, lots of bread. I had a job to get it all in the freezer. I pondered on having a can of the minted pea soup with some potatoes this evening. Then realised it was afternoon already. Had I had another Mind-Blank?
Late afternoon, the first snow of the year descended. I tried to get some shots in, despite it being so dark already, with the hopes of catching some snow in them.
Got a few flakes in this one… And this one… And again… Not sure about this wider snap… The snow had stopped by the time I took this one. Carer Kara was here, and as she left, she handed me two letters that had been posted. One was the… The British Gas electricity bill… for £453!
Got some tomatoes seasoned to have some sausages with later. The peas & potatoes had lost favour!
No more snow, but looking glum.
Computer blogging and mistake making.
Oh, not so clear again.
Vegan Sausages… And they were Grrreat! Added the links to the tomatoes. Which were seasoned with sea salt, vinegar, basil, and some imitation soy bacon bits too! Sourdough bread to dunk in the tomatoes and dribbled all down the dressing gown. Finding its way between my legs vis the chest and mould of the stomach and onto poor Little Inchies Fungal Lesion. Not only that, but it got onto the tubing and other bits of So sleep was further delayed due to the need to clean up
myself, the chair and change clothes. During this, I managed to misplace my hearing aids. With , and all getting worse, there is no chance of reading the subtitles! So, no watching football on the telly. It took me until about 03:30 hours, but I eventually found the hearing aids. They had fallen and ended up underneath the 1963 Hopewells E-plan cabinet with the doors falling off.
I got the picker-upperer but had to get down on my knees. Why? Because right at the back against the wall, I spotted my missing wind-up torch… three various tablets… the missing ultra-black-ink pen, a letter from British Gas telling me I must update my cash card details,
Getting back up… Hah!
I got settled, took some painkillers, swore a bit and off in a search of around 04:40hrs!
Amazing change in the urine colour on the first emptying
Social event notification.
Early evening. No sunset as such, but… I captured these two close-ups.
A man shouted at the panel… DELIVERY! I opened the foyer lock door… Then as I made my way to the door, I spotted the Amazon van pulling away…
Crap! He’s left the stuff down in the foyer, I bet! No choice left other than to go down and find out. Here I go! Which meant going down in my dressing gown with the catheter on display. Although at the time, this did not occur to me at all. (thanks, Doreen Dementia!) When I got down, and saw a stack of parcels left on the table near the door, some for me, and number 5 and 42 flats. It was when two ladies returning home came in, and I saw their faces as they looked at me, that I realised I had only got on the dressing gown and slippers! The kind ladies helped me with the parcels, one of them carrying one for me that would not fit on the three-wheeler walker. ♥ Bless Her! ♥
I’d ordered some giant cans of French Casserole. Citric Acid and vegan Bacon bits… Oh, and BBQ flavouring. I opened the boxes and got the waste I had made to the bin in the foyer. Then opened a can of the above meals… Of which five of the six cans had dents of varying degrees in them. Tsk! I got some potato chunks from the freezer and got them in the oven. Planning to add flavouring to the meal, then add the potatoes. Got the oven on the top heat setting, opened the can, and deposited the ingredients into the thick saucepan. It didn’t look particularly appetising to look at, but smelt rather delectable to me, anyway. 800grm of food, to which I added…
I settled into my crumbling rotting c1966. charity shop bought, the second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. With the intention of watching an episode of ‘Heartbeat’. Drifted off into sweet oblivion for about an hour. (Bliss!) pressing the door chime to release the tune “Oh, Susana” blasting into my face from the box opposite my location, bringing me back to the scary reality of my tormenting, , and torturing, plaguing real-time, and the actual reality that life’s quality is sinking fast. (Shame). Jozeph issued the medications, and . He enquired if I was cooking something cause he cols smell food burning… Potatoes; I’d left them in the oven – for over an hour!
Hobbling at warp-three to the kitchen, in a semi-panic, only to find that the potatoes were burnt… but to perfection, for me, just how I love them. A bit of good luck there; after so long, surely they should have been just cinders? Is the stove on its way out? Farewell to Jozeph or Jozef; I wish I could remember to ask him. Hehe!
On with the meal making such as it was. I’d added the tomato passata, basil, liquid smoke and liquid salt & vinegar earlier to let it marinate in the saucepan for a while to get the flavour. I served it on the tray and took a photo of the feast. But, into the ether, it went from the SD card. It must be something I’m doing wrong, surely for it to happen so often? I left half of the meal in the saucepan, intending to transfer it to a dish and put it in the fridge to have tomorrow – but changed plans when I went into the kitchen in the morning and found it had gelled together and did not smell too nice. So, I dished it. Huh, all that cost and effort as well! !
It was while eating and enjoying it that I could smell some burning? I returned to the kitchenette to check things. All seemed okay to me?
Back into the front room to have another session with the fodder… then I got a Peripheral Neuropathy delayed reaction; and felt the pain around my knuckles… Yes, I supposed must have burnt myself taking the potatoes out of the oven? This often happens to me. With the nerve ends, neurotransmitters are dying off (Peripheral Neuropathy). Sometimes, the supposedly instant transmissions from the nerve end to the brain get delayed. So literally, the brain did not get the message until much later.