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I was gobsmacked this morning and genuinely amazed, astonished, astounded, surprised, staggered, stopped in my tracks, stunned, dumbfounded, discombobulated, flabbergasted, knocked sideways, to the point of feeling awestruck! I had a slice of inspiration last night that I didn’t realise then. I might call it an epiphany. It is complicated to word it, but I’ll tell you about it.
Last night, I was still in agony with the Little Inchie problem, so I got a wash and felt the tribulated lower regions. Anyone with a much lesser midriff than I have would have taken a look. I had a grope around. My hand felt dried blood on the hairs. I tried tugging it off, but that was too painful, so I got the scissors, and using feel instead of sight, I riskily cut of the bloodied hair. Ouch! With the help of the now-working Codeines, the pain abated shortly afterwards. Brilliant! I went into an adopted temporary Smug Mode.
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Up at 0:15hrs. This photo on the right shows how it came, terrible and oh so blue, of the 
Nocturnal Catheter pouch. I did not have the foggiest idea of what I did wrong and tried another effort. That came out spot on what my eye saw. A too-deep colourisation in the urine again. Humph!
Off to the wet room. Diverting to the kitchen en route to ensure that I’d not left the taps (faucets), cooker on, or fridge or freezer door open. I took a snap 
of the morning view while doing the safety checks.
Eventually, it was ruled by an iron rod—or maybe a reluctant concrete torpedo. It was one of the longest evacuations, from start to finish, ever, leaving a highly stretched, pained bottom and slight bleeding. In fact, when I rose to tackle the cleaning up and freshening, I felt a bit giddy.
A quick ablutioning session, in which I did not have a shave or clean my teeth. But there is a perfectly understandable reason for this. I forgot to!
Another duff photo of the beet and legs was taken, so I tried again, and it was much better this time. The legs are getting much thinner, and the bones are showing through now! but
are more infrequent.
I had to sort some frozen foods out, and when I checked the fridge, I found many items out of date, not that I could read many of them.
I made up two more bags of waste. I needed to make some room to get the frozen food ordered for delivery today. What a Plonker!
Carer Chris came, scoffed some nibbles and scrounged a drinkie. Hehehe!
Then Window Cleaner Man Joe arrived. I nattered away about my problems as he did 
the windows. Paid the lad, and off he flew to his next client.
The Asda order arrived.
I was well pleased that they had the vegetarian sausages in again. I decided to have some for my nosh… then found that the pork pie had an eat-by-date for today on it. So, I’ll have that tonight instead.
Minutes later, the Iceland order arrived. Eight carrier bags worth were put in the doorway, and I 
moved them one at a time into the kitchenette,
I bought some crisps and snacks. There must have been 
a reason for so many, but I don’t know what it is.
The freezer was not cram-packed, and the fridge a little fullerer. I’ll not starve, that’s for sure. I think I also have a J Sainsbury order coming next Tuesday! Patties, chips, pies, sausages, a veritable feast.
Or must have hit me because I recall nothing until 
arrived. The bad news is that Kara is 
going off on holiday for two weeks, so if I have trouble with the bank, they will only talk with Carer Kara as my representative or something, and I’ll be up the creek. Going to have nobody to check my finances or orders and no one to set my heart beating. Haha! Kara fitted the new catheter bag holder on my leg for me. I hope it helps because yesterday’s pain relief for me is now starting to come back on again. Kara also brought some Codeines; bless her.
I cut the pork pie into pieces, sliced tomatoes, and spread some of the gorgeous-tasting Flora Non-Butter butter thickly on some slices of Milk Roll bread. It’s a giant round potato hash cake, and very nice, too!
What a feast it was with Heinz tomato ketchup and pickle! I got the hash brown thing frozen from Iceland. It crisped up marvellously.
I may have the other one tomorrow.
A shot taken with Kodak Tim while I was washing up came out looking somewhat eerily. Haha! Another one for the Tate Gallery to reject.
Carer Chris returned, bringing the laundry up with him. He attached the nocturnal night pouch to the catheter and whipped off my diabetic socks.
Chris selected some nibbles and a bottle of Lucozade, and then we said farewells.
I soon nodded off into a deep and miraculously uninterrupted kip. Nice!
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I wanted to buy a Volvo,
But broke, I settled for an Oxo,
I don’t drink alcohol or vino,
Now I’ve become a fatso…
Chips and marshmallow?
Ever in a mental imbroglio,
Confusion an ipso facto,
I used to do judo,
Then it was Ludo.
Not now, thanks to ailments neuro,
I blog but with many a typo,
I’m mentally all Akimbo,
Physically, I need a neuro-physio,
Life’s all saltimbanco, Cheerio!
TTFN
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Kitchen window view
Wet room, ablutions and failed Porcelain Throne session.
The pains from the Catheter Tube were getting even worse now. Poor Little Inchie was suffering. Doing my head in!
The legs and ankles looked a lot better, though.
Thought the balcony doors.
Through the balcony.
Lovely sundown.
Love the hue.
A little later.
I was washing up, and I spotted yet another fire in Sherwood. Heard the brigade klaxons as I settled down.
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That should have been a Pooper at the top, Sorry!
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Good colour.
Morning view.
Much painful urging was needed.
My food order arrived.
Spring water.
Carers, nurses, treats.
Food Glorious Food!
Sky photos were taken frequently as I made a mess of blogging. The pains eased a smidge when I got stood? 
Ever-changing views of the clouds.
Do you see the face?
Faces again.
As I was getting the meal sorted.
Carer Christopher came while I was imbibing the nosh. 
I’m not sure when I took this Kodak Tim shot.
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Renaud’s in the toes.
Time-killing crossword.
Teeth bleeding after cleaning.
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I rose from the bed at 05:10 hrs. First, I detached the nocturnal catheter pouch. 
Just a little painful.
This is a fantastic view from the kitchen window. Unfortunately, the blotches were caught in all the external photographs today, Humph! 
It was torture! I soon changed my mind, and at the same time, self-loathing erupted when I realised what I’d done… Again! I ordered the wrong size pants, Small instead of large! I’d pissed myself off, something wicked! The genitals were crushed as the catheter tube pulled tight! I grabbed the scissors post-haste and cut the PPs off. 
once more. The pain continued anyway, off and on, without evident causation? These white pants are so thick that I think they catch Little Inchie more than the slimmer ones, but they are just as effective as the Depend ones. I ensured the lad was treated to nibbles and drinkies by showing my appreciation for his time. It was his last night shift call, and I felt a smidge sad at keeping him from getting home.
I made up a waste bag and got on with the blogging, albeit stumblingly and error-ridden. These white pants continued hurting things below. I took an extra Codeine, hoping it might ease things. Huh! Of course, it did nothing to help pain-wise.
Carer Kimberley arrived. She knew I was in pain and showed concern; bless her. I told her of the earlier woes with Little Inchie. I decided to hand her the box of 30 Depend pants: no, 29 now I’ve tried on and scissored off one pair. Hahaha! My wondering wrongly cost me a good bit of cash! 
But thought that if I sent the box to Meridian to issue or use someone else… with less of a midriff on them, and they have also been catheterised, then they could possibly use them in the event that they run out!
I then ordered some large protection pants from the Amazon site. I made double-sure I’d ordered the correct size this time! Well, I did that last time (Well, I thought that I had) and still got it wrong, didn’t I? These were also dearer, but they looked more comfortable and seemingly had a waistband on them. We’ll see when they arrive. Amazon said they would deliver on Tuesday, which is good cause I’m going to Nottingham City Hospital tomorrow. To have the knees and ankles checked for Arthritis and Cartilage problems. Now there’s a word..
There were so many blotches on this snap of a puffer cloud that I was disappointed. I’ve tried cleaning the lens with a cleaner stick and impregnated tissues. Yet still they appear? Such are the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchie to curse with lousy luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, 
perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. Worry and confuse me! Cataract Katie, Neuropathy Pete, Doreen Dementia and Incogniscent Iris are the main culprits. There are others, of course.
There are beautiful clouds in the sky. But I suppose that’s where one would expect them to be. Hehehe!
amongst the clouds.
Later, the sun burst through, and I took this shot of the virtually mud-less end car park. A jolly good mixture of vehicle colours was on show for our perusal. The light blue one, as per usual, parked on the yellow chevron ‘do-not-park-here’ lines. But hey, why should I bother?
Getting a smidge darker out there now. Another gorgeous selection of clouds to find figures in!
Then, blow me, if half an hour later, out came the sun again, forcing her way through the ever-darkening clouds. Mayhap, a ‘Goodnight all!’ message? Hehehe!
Better get some fodder sorted out, then… off to the kitchenette, and I conjured up a simple meal for a simple, tired old man.
I enjoyed this one, especially the cunningly cooked potatoes in the crock pot that I sliced while still hot, sprayed with oil, and put into the preheated oven for ten minutes with the vegetable pastie. I ate it all up, washed the utensils and plate, and swiftly fell asleep watching the goggle box.
Carer Richard arrived.
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Not a lot passed last night.
Not ‘arf!
Mug of Glengettie tea, with four biscuits dunked.
Those makes that come and go on the lens are back. No matter what I try to clean it with, they suit themselves, whether of not to smudge my Kodak Camera photographs. Tsk!
I took another shot and zoomed in a bit. But the smudges are there in this one, too.
The smudge was still there in the end car park shot!
Brightening up out there now as the sun intrudes on the rather pretty view. The smudge is still on.
Photo to the left.
This one is to the right.
I went into the kitchen again to prep the meal.
gave me a turn, I grabbed hold of the draining board to steady my elf. And there, lying on the kitchen towel, in the draining rack, was the wristlet alarm! Gorrit!
I made a vegetable stew today. All I needed to do was to bake some potato bits to add to the vegetables and sauce already in the saucepan. No smudge?
I woke up, although I wasn’t unaware I’d fallen asleep. I could see the mess I had made on the blog, presumably in a stupor of some sort. A 
was engaged, and I nervously checked the cooker, taps, etc., with surprising results. 
I found them! Eventually… well, alright then, I found two of them, or maybe one? I can’t tell the difference in the lower left circle with the prawn. Is it a shrimp? I’m not optimistic about the chocolate, either.
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Scary red urine!
View.
Leaving the flat, down to wait for the lift.
I have a doctor’s appointment for an examination of the knees and ankles. I have an appointment at the hospital on Monday. The receptionist arranged a lift for me there. Barrier cream and something else was added to my prescription list and sent to the chemist, and I need carers to collect them for me.
Surgery car park.
Arriving at flats.
In the foyer
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My New Psychoanalyst
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felt urgent. So I hastily fumbled my way out of bed. Whipped off the nocturnal catheter pouch and hastened to the wet room. And 
The constipation Conrad controlled monster crept out so painfully with intermittent fears that something was going to burst in my rear end as it excruciatingly slowly emerged. I felt like I’d just done 3-rounds with Mike Tyson by the time the 
cement-like torpedo finally clunked into the water.
pouch while in there, taking it off first, of course.
on display. I tried to get a decent shot. The second one was out of sync, too. Not by much. Am I getting betterer? Hehe!
Got the waste bags gathered into one ready for collection. Good of them to take the bags for me. Much appreciated
Made a mug of Glengettie tea, and got on the computer. Boy, I was doing so well at first. Getting on with it and without anywhere near as many Whoopsies and Accifauxpas, as usual, have been doing lately. I think I allowed myself a mini Smug mode. Haha!
Off back to the wet room and the Porcelain Throne again.
I made myself another mug of tea as the day brightened up and the free-floating puffer clouds appeared. It was absolutely beautiful to see. Nature can be so glorious!
I went out onto the balcony to get a sunny shot of the end car park, with its mudslide looking low and little for a change.
Within an hour, the sky was looking conceivable of bringing a spot of rain. the clouds were proud and looked almost magnificent 
to me. When I got around to putting the above snap in the blog, my well-known 
arrived. With her usual calm fashion, she sorted the medications, checked the letters, and reminded me of the Doctor’s visit in the morning. She also checked the emails that confused me. I’m still waiting to hear if anyone else in the flats has had a British Gas one telling them that the supply would be cut unless we get a no-charge new meter fitted. I reckon they are trying to force us onto smart meters! There have been some horrendous mistakes for customers who have had them fitted, greatly overcharged, errors found, and compensation getting is nigh on impossible!
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Suddenly, as I looked out of the balcony window, it was like a totally different view. Dark, dank, and with a heavy dollop of rain, snow, and hail belting against the windows. I stepped onto the balcony and snapped three shots in different directions of the downfall: ahead, to the right, and then to the left. It really belted down, yet only lasted for an estimated 
three minutes, then started brightening up again.
Within an hour, this is how the view from the kitchenette looked!.
Blimey, look at the time! I’ll get some fodder made, methinks, maybe Lamburgers, potato waffles, tomatoes, and some milk roll bread, with tomato ketchup and pickle. Pickle? That reminds me, I’d better empty the catheter. Hello, two shades of yellow in the bag? Summat is not quite right about this?
I put the potato hash browns & Lamb & mutton burgers in the oven. Then I went back to save work and sign off.
Photographed these two of the clouds on view through the kitchen windows.
looked like to me, many things within.
This was a very nice nosh: tomatoes, hash browns, crispy onions, and, of course, the lamb and mutton burgers brought 
Carer Kimberly came. Socks taken off. Medications were given. 
in time to prepare for the Easy-Link lift to the surgery in the morning.
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and the persistent today 
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Woke around 06:30hrs: Having slept, albeit a broken sleep, for over 6 hours! Dark urine again.
Topped up the freebie thank you drinks shelves. Much more choice for the Carers & Nurses.
Put the waste bags in one.
The Asda order arrived.
It took me some time to get all the bags into the kitchenette. In doing so, I suffered a little bit of a 
Instant mash with cheese, pork pie, bacon off-cuts, Lactofree milk and some haddock goujons. Never tried these before in a light batter; it might just suit my taste buds, but 
…
. 
And proceeded to tread on the goujon packet, and the pack burst open, distributing the crushed fish bit around the kitchen floor! This time, I did howl, wince, and swear a bit. Got some antiseptic cream on the wound, and carried on sorting the food out.
A selection of naughty but nice desserts, seasoned potato slices and mash, tomatoes, pasties & a packet of coffee bags for the carers to make and drink in their restroom. The 
tomatoes were Dutch and delightful!
towels.
scalded my hand months ago.
wait until the midday Carer calls and check with her/him. I was baffling myself. Battling a battered brain and unreliable, failing memory-blank is not easy.
Memory Blanks again.
The well urine filled almost caught me out.
Carer Chris did the last two calls. Nibbles and a drinkie. Night pouch attached, diabetic socks removed. He left me nodding off. Hehe!
Throne. It was another Constipation Conrad session. So I stayed up and got some tidying up done, then onto the computer. I soon drifted off to sleep after Chris had gone. But burst back into life at 02:20hrs, in need of the Porcelain Throne, despite 
Doing her best to have me over. Stayed up and back on the computer… It’s a hard life, full of strife, no wife, mental confusion, physical ailments rife! Still, it might get better in the afterlife?
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sharp, but at least I’ve nodded off soon after each one… But Not Tonight! Oh, no! Once they started this time, they went on relentlessly for half an hour, non-stop! It was terribly painful and wearying. I then realised it may have been caused by my leaving the diabetic socks on. A new pair as well, and decided to do my best to get them off and see how that goes. What a farce! Just getting out of bed increased the hurt I was already suffering. 
to shave and shower. First, though, the use of the 
night bag. Then took a snap of the morning view, put the kettle on and gathered the ablutioning 
equipment needed. And off to the wetroom to 
utilise the 
myself of the splashes released. Huh!
water had drained away.
Raining a little now.
South? Yes, it was. And very windy with it. The tail of the Mini-Tornado?
Carer 
All bu got caught out again with the catheter day pouch suddenly filling up.
The last of the heavy rain descended. Shots from the balcony, through the window glass, left one to the right.
The second one was taken to the left.
chimed out.
Blogging, CorelDrawing and making the Ode.
pasty, which I opened 
were much less often, and although a broken sleep, I soon dosed back off after each stinging.