Inchie Today: Wednesday 31 December 2025

01/01/2026 / Inchie / 13 Comments

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Cutting up potatoes, I found a wriggler…
A maggot, but used wriggler; it sounded funnier,
Just two cuts, to the same finger…
Using on each a waterproof plaster,
While the sauce got burnt to a cinder,
To give the potatoes a bit more flavour,
I added tandoori, lemon & coriander,
And the recommended garam masala,
Stood-up, how I didn’t fall’s a puzzler…
I went into a dissociative seizure,
Compared to the norm, this was longer,
Spuds were rock hard, my language vulgar,
Got potato waffles from the refrigerator,
I picked up long picker-upper, Peter,
To retrieve the spoon dropped earlier,
Knocking over a bottle of malted vinegar,
After mopping it up, the floor was cleaner,
Finally, I was ready to serve up dinner,
My waffles, burnt and withered,
Everything on the tray was assembled,
Carefully, into the front I hobbled…
My ingrowing toenail was stubbed!
Spilt food, carpet to be scrubbed,
Meal binned, pots washed…
So, my food plans were altered,
To bags of crisps, ready-salted…
Salt & vinegar, and barbequed,
New Year views to be photo’d,
Things didn’t go as anticipated!
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Afternoon Delight.

A little later…

Sunset, Gorgeous!
Zoomed in a bit…
And another…
Then right out.

The third attempt produced this
edible meal. At last! Hehe!

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TTFNski!

Sweet Dreams!

Inchie Today: Tuesday December 2025

31/12/2025 / Inchie / 9 Comments

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I think this may be impossible,
Even, mayhap, unbelievable…
I was sleeping, all peaceably,
A dream began, and sillily…
Although seemingly unlikely…
I knew I was having a seizure, really!
As I flew in the sky, inconceivable,
A pterodactylus sent by the Devil,
Attacked me, I was in trouble…
Then an eagle too, what a kerfuffle,
I’d lost an arm and a leg, pitiful!
I yodelled for help, desperately,
That was when the nurse woke me.
I took your photo, she said laugingly,
Pointing out that I looked pale & ghostly!
The after-seizure reflux rose, all acidity,
But I have two arms and legs, thankfully,
Hydrocephalus, or Peripheral Neuropathy?
Doreen Dementia, or plain insanity?
Was it neurological? Or nonsensical?
Maybe psychosis, anxiety or neurosal?
What caused this wasn’t perceptible,
That dream was certainly original,
Was it symbolic, or metaphorical?
The nurse indeed found it comical!
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I hope to do a better job of tomorrow’s blog.
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Not a good day.

Keep Well Each
I Fang You!

Inchy Today: Monday 12th May 2025

13/05/2025 / Inchie / 8 Comments

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In this Ode, I’ll not mention Starmer,
See that? I’m already a proven liar!
I’m not an activator, actuator or advocator,
Believing once Labour got in power…
It would be a poor man’s financial alleviator,
Not a disabled and pensioner aggravator!
Nor a doom and gloom annunciator,
Our future has never been bleaker,
I don’t trust the HMG, MP, PM or speaker,
Labour: experts in taking a backhander,
I could kick him up his detrusor…
Jinx or hex him; it’d be my pleasure!
My loathing gets ever deeper,
Keir’s decisions get even creepier,
Voters crumbling-hopes get damneder,
His clever use of semi-lies & implicature…
Prevents prosecution… he is a barrister!
Who freed child killers & an axe murderer,
He’s responsible for killing off many a pensioner,
Bankrupting the family farmer…
Feathering his own nest, a meshuggener?
The man is a nihilist, self-profit-seeking,
His expense claims: do they need questioning?
No doubt about it, he’s a naysayer,
He’s likely suffering from peniaphobia,
Scared to death of becoming a pauper,
With brain cells ever working, reticular,
I noticed he’s also a slangwhanger,
He’s earned an early sepulchre,
The slower & more painful, the better!
I may sound like a hard-done-to squaller,
These odes prove I’m a schlepper…
With Starmer being a snollygoster,
He commits crimes, lies & sclaunder…
He gets away with it; that’s spectacular!
That’s because he was a high-class lawyer,
The perfect con man & thimblerigger,
As a PM, naturally, he’s titular,
He got elected because he’s a liar,
Two-faced, deceitful, a conniver,
A guilty promise-breaker
An oathed decision reverser,
A farmer & pensioner depriver,
One other thing in particular,
He also got, is, uranomania!
Divinity? He believes it! Hehehe!
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05:20hrs: I shot out of bed and leapt over the second-hand shop bought nine years ago for £300, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner. Doing a backward summersault, landing face down, and after doing a few hundred press-ups…
It’s no good; I’m such a terrible fibber!
I inched my legs off of the bed. The catheter contraption straps were painful this morning. I detached the nocturnal catheter bag and rose rather too quickly to get the cream and rub some on the leg straps on the leg. I fell backwards on the corner of the bed and felt bleeding.
So, with the bum and top of the leg bleeding, I hobbled into the kitchen to check the taps and stove initially. But I got sidetracked when I saw the amazingly clear sky. I got Kodak Tim Two and took this snap of the clouds. Then, I took another wider shot. The Sun was already beginning to come through from behind and causing a mist on the horison.

I went to the wet room, where I decided to tend to the mess before applying the barrier cream. I cleaned the few teeth I had left and used the mouthwash. I then realised I had not put in the hearing aids. So, I went to fetch and fit them to see if anyone should call early. With the hearing aids in, I heard a strange noise from the kitchen—a tinkling sound.
Yee Gods! The fourth time in three days! Grrr!
Luckily, it had not been running too long, and the hot water was still reasonably hot enough for me to get the shaving done.
Get ready for this, folks… Dang dang, dang, Dang!
Not a single nick, let alone cut shaving!
A fair bit of medicationings was needed. But I’ve had worse, so no complaints.
Cleaned the glasses. Did a hearing aid battery check. Olive oiled the earholes. Dry eye spray was used. Then, the Blepharitis gel. Phorpain gelled both of Arthur Itis’s knees. Both cartilages, Chloe & Carole, are at the back of the knees. I barrier creamed my armpits, underneath my man breasts and groin, paying careful attention to SOSTH (Spanish Onion Sized Testicle Henry). Below my bulging belly, my still bleeding rear-end sternum. Germolened both ankle ulcers. Then, I got new straps onto the catheter contraption. Barrier creamed them before fitting. Then I tackled .
I’m using the new-to-me Terbinafine hydrochloride cream. I’m also applying the new dropper before the much-feared pain of rubbing it in Med Hydr I can assure you that it was thrown in the waste bin! I’ll never use that again! I shall stick with Betamethasone in the future, even if I have to buy it. Too Painful? YES! This session took a long time to complete. Of course, getting the Protection Pants on was the usual farce. Do they make anything similar to the ones on the right here? It’s suitable that I should put him on the right. Because he’s the most Tory-like Labour Prime Minister ever! Hahaha!

As I noticed the Prison alarm was flashing last night, I didn’t expect to see it again this morning. I got Kodak Tim x2 and took this very poor close as I could get to it to take a snap of the Alarm Flashing (Escaped Prisoner). But it had stopped by the time I’d prattled about to get the shot. Just my luck not to have taken it earlier. Tsk!
Carer Ejaz arrived. Bless him.
I told them of whatever they were last night, which left me in a time-lapse, confused and nervous.
The lad listened. He then sorted out my NHS breakfast.
Then, Ejaz barrier-creamed where I could not reach, mainly my feet, ankles, and back. Next, he put my diabetic socks on my feet for me.
Then he did a quick hoovering around for me. Bless him.

I got tucked into creating today’s Anti-Starmer Ode.
I was about half an hour into it, and the intercom chimed out. It was Matron. She measured me up for the wheelchair setting up. Checked my BP returns, and I waffled on about last night’s time-warping and total confusion. She reminded me to make sure I got an appointment with the Doctor. I explained that only when the Carer is on a Wednesday and Joe is prepared to go with me. Joe will remember and explain things better than I could on my own.
I think other things were discussed. Yes, Matron Jackie will ask the Doctor if I can have an oxygen level monitor. I have no idea what that actually means. I’ll look it up on Mr. Google.

Back to the Ode writing.

A series of mini-seizures came over the next few hours. Kyboshed my creativity and concentration.

Carre Joe arrived. He thinks I may have been falling asleep, which is a possibility. However, I was getting many feelings of dizziness, and my eyes seemed foggy for a few minutes, which I usually put down to my coming out of a seizure. Who knows? Not me!

Carer Ejaz made the next call. Socks taken off. Medications were issued. We had a little natter, and he was in a rush but asked if he could take my photo with my sunglasses on. Well, ever the budding model, I agreed. A handsome-looking brute! Hahaha!

I showed my prepared-earlier nosh in the microwave pot. Ejaz took a photo of that as well! He shot off after that.

I got the Ode finished and into the blog.

I went to the kitchen to ensure I’d not left anything unsafe. I put the potatoes in the dish and put them into the microwave oven.

Boy, what a view I took in these snaps of the quickly disappearing Sun. Bootiful!

Amazing Night Glow!
Then, a closer shot.
I think the eyes of the Sun were
from some trees on the horizon.
GREAT!

It’s late now, and the spuds are in the oven. I’m giving up on the blog, but the meal tempts me!
The Morrisons bread rolls were tasteless and tough.
Everything else was gorgeous!

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Here’s a four-leaf clover
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Imp-Inchy: Sunday 17th March 2024

18/03/2024 / Inchie / 7 Comments

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Several times today, I experienced moments of quietism, almost mysticism, involving quiet contemplation. On another day, I may have called them mind-blanks or PN Seizures. But not today! I think I enjoyed them. Not that I am aware of what they contained, but it is a sensation of, well, a degree of self-satisfaction and a rare understanding of things. No, I never felt an understanding of things before!
Of course, I can’t recall what they were. Tsk!
Hopefully, these little mental gems I write may help someone working in psychiatry, occupational therapy, Community Mental Health, or counselling glean whatever I’m waffling on about. They may kindly inform me of their findings afterwards. It would be nice to know why I wrote them in the first place.
A plea for help, mayhap?

04:10hrs: The nocturnal catheter colour was much improved. Also, was much less than it has been.

A terrible photo of the morning view.

Mostly liquid sludge!

The right leg was looking good again. Of course, were hitting me throughout the day, but nothing as bad as they were when I was supposed to be sleeping. Every one of them woke me up (well, they would, I guess), but I soon nodded off again, awaiting the next one to arrive. The pain from them only lasted for a couple of seconds.

Carer arrived as I was starting to update the blog. Back to the blogging, photographs being uploaded from the … and…
The Pictures folder suddenly went into full-screen mode! I imagine I hit the wrong combination on the keyboard. () But there were no resize buttons on the tabs, and the arrows to resize were not working either. What a mess I got into trying to sort it out. I asked Google, copied down the procedure given, and followed it. Of course, it didn’t work.
I thought I must have copied it wrongly, so I tried again. The problem was that when I went to the picture window, it blocked out all the advice on the Google page! I checked the procedure and wrote it down more clearly. Then I tried again. No Luck!
I went back to Google and searched for other advice there. Many were too technical for me to understand.
I found one. To get to the list, I had to press the F button, scroll down to Size, and press Enter. Size was the first item on the list, but it was not highlighted, so I couldn’t get into it to follow the rest of the advice.
Then, I tried stab-in-the-dark procedures. I had no idea what I was doing, so I turned off the computer and restarted it, hoping things would be back to normal when rebooted. No! Oh, No, no, no!
I often wish that one could turn off life and reboot it to see if the body and mind might have reset themselves to default mode! Hehehe!
The flaming picture window opened in full mode again. Then, I realised that it was not in full mode before because, this time, it filled the screen entirely, thus revealing the bottom left option of closing the ‘Hide Folders’ button. I pressed it, and the screen became a smidgen smaller, allowing the bottom right seize arrow to be accessed—WUNDERBAR! I spent the rest of the day a bag of nerves in case I repeated the wrong key combination and did it again. The ticking eye and twitching of the lower lip started!
I was a bag of nerves!
So, another two hours plus was lost!

I went to make a brew of Glengettie, and the colouration of the lunchtime view was terrific.
Straight ahead.
Then, I took a shot of the Cannabis-Growers road.

As I returned to make the brew. And the state of the kitchen floor brought forth shame and guilt!
Flash Speed Mop utilised.
They are crap!
Mind you, they did pick up some of the dirt.
Hahaha!

Gorgeous afternoon clouds

Found this attached to an email.
What is it, please?

As it got a little later, I just couldn’t resist taking more snaps of the clouds.

I made a nosh, took a photo of it, got settled, and ate it. What happened to the photo that was not on the SD card is a mystery. Nothing new there!

I was well into the land of nod and without any of the awakenings, being kind to me! And left me alone, too. But the Carer came in to wake me instead. Hahaha! I was not compos-mentis and forgot to ask him to remove the socks and attach the nocturnal catheter pouch. I found out in the morning that I had very dark urine and an overflowing bag, and with the socks on, the shocks from both ankles kept waking me up. Humph!

The sky looked like it had been painted.
Bootiful!
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The mudslide at the end of the car park.

Even I got this one. Haha!

What a magnificent view!

The came, and I got up and had a walk about; they lessen when so this.

Three last shots as the sunset fell.
Farewell!
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Have a grand Day!

Inactivated Inchy: Monday 4th March 2024

05/03/2024 / Inchie / 9 Comments

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Good Morning!
Photo kindly taken by Carer Maryham after she helped me wash & shave and get dressed. ♥

Dark wee-wee, bloodied pee!

A red-hued morning view.
Tsk!

Computer on, and reduced some things on the order for the week after next from J. Sainsbury.

Made up the bed. Well, flung a quilt over it.

Today’s fodder order arrived.
Not a lot this time.

Took these shots.
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These came out okay.

Computed for a couple of hours. Then, I made a brew to dunk some of my sugarless biscuits.
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Taste Rating: 3/10.

Took two shots of the kitchen window view.

Then arrived. At this stage, I was doing well mentally… no, that’s a fib! I was not doing too badly in the concentration stakes. We had a little natter after she’d medicated me and checked the taps and cooker.
After departed, things took a long lasting turn for the worse. The started. I was using the small blue plastic
picker-upperer, and as I leant down to retrieve the dropped hearing aid, I injured the picker-upperer. Bent it rather acutely… it’s not working. Now… I may have said an assortment of naughty words.
So, I was frustrated and self-critical as the landline burst to life. The Physiotherapist made sure I was aware of his arrival. Haha!
The gentleman arrived minutes later. But with my having just broken the picker-upperer, my mind was all over the place. What I can recall, is he tested both & s abilities, by my lifting the legs as far as I could without too much pain. Won that competition easily. He asked if the walker was better now that he’d mended the ‘wiggle’ on the right handlebar, and I thanked him, as it was a lot easier to use now. Many questions were answered, hopefully correctly, by me. But details of them have now gone into the ether. I recall losing what I spoke of a few times and feeling foolish. The man was understanding about this. I think my using the bed was referred to. He said he’s had a word with my doctor about the cartilage. Maybe it’s more pain relief. Almost sure. Ah, I did tell him of getting more frequent now I’m using the bed. But I sense that an awful lot more was discussed.

Variety is the spice of life. Hahaha!

I found on the reminder notepad that I’d scribbled what I thought was Rachael. No idea why?

Eventually, at long last, I started updating Sunday’s blog and got it posted very late in the day. I was now getting exhausted & weary. And just had to give up the blog working. I may get up early in the morning and try to start early on it… or not.

I got the stew and potatoes cooking and put the TV on… Oh dearie! I was baffled by this message that came up!

The remote control, was not affecting anything I tried to get to the later button to click on it. Then I dug out the Bush TV remote, which the engineer who fitted it up told me I would not use, and he said to throw it away; it was not needed. I tried to see if that would work to get to the set-up button, but that wasn’t doing anything either. So now, paying three times as much as before for the TV & phone service, which I didn’t want anyway but got conned into taking, and having to buy a Smart TV to use the service… I’m left without any TV at all! I don’t know if the message was from or the Bush television people? I need help here; if anyone can and knows what I can do, please chip in. I’ll ask a Carer if they can phone for me. It said a reset will be needed, that scares me; I could lose my internet service?
Depressed again now!

Got the fodder served up, but I was not in a good mood to enjoy it. But still ate it ravenously.

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Took two-night shots from the kitchen window. Well, I’d not TV to watch. I spent £400, and £88 a month, and may end up with no landline, or computer supply… I’ve virtually lost the TV anyway. Grrr!
The first artistic one. Haha!
The second one.

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I’m fuming, frustrated, frumpy, fed-up, frightened, frazzled, and flagitated. Fighting a ferocious fiend, fragmenting my brain & body, without any help, physiatrics or therapy! Did I write that?

Keep Safe, each!

Incapacitated Inchy: Sat 2 Mar 24 Comprehensionless Today

03/03/2024 / Inchie / 2 Comments

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I lived this Saturday in Nadaville. With an aura of clueless-incomprehension, bafflement, with so many mental-seizures, I occasionally went into an almost hypnotic state. Yet when free of them, things seemed to be going so much better. The worst hassle, was getting so easily distracted from the task in hand. I was at sixes and sevens, discomfited. Getting back online mentally was not easy. Plus, having to correct things I’d got or done wrong during the last ‘semi-clear period’ caused more problems. The times I changed things to ‘correct’ the errors, then found I’d got it wrong, seemed endless.
Just thought I’d mention it.
I’m doing this blog so late on Saturday, and so many memories have faded. I’ve no idea why, but I did not use the notepad as reminder much at all, yesterday?
Well, the time I got up at 04:35hrs, some scribble I diagnosed as my moaning about the frequency of the nocturnal , ever waking me up. That’s why I gave up and got up. The giant-sized concrete evacuation was written clearly. Something about CorelDraw problems and the camera?
Very few photos were taken. Hope they remind me as I put them in of events. Worra Day!
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Terrible photo.