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I woke up, checked, and removed the nocturnal catheter pouch from the day bag. I was eager to get going with the ablutioning. I seemed to be avoiding the usual morning depression today. That’s good for me! As I pottered about getting the things ready to visit the wetroom,
wind emitted from the rear end. So, sharpishly, I traipsed into the wet room to use the Porcelain Throne. It soon became obvious that yesterday’s
Trotsky Terence affair was a one-off. I took this photo as the morning sunshine caught the General Hospital. It was captivatingly pretty, I thought.
I was smiling when I sat down. But no amount of urgings and pain would get things moving. So, I gave up, washed my hands, and decided to bet the ablutions after the first Carers visit. As I got into the kitchen, Carer Chris arrived. He got the medications sorted and my socks on. We had a short natter, not that we understand each other, accents and deafness on my behalf. Chris went on his way.
I began taking the things for showering and shaving into the wetroom, and as I opened the door…
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It’s frightening how quickly one’s outlook on life can change. Depression can come on instantly and rapidly, followed by self-critical, lambasting thoughts and the desire to spit! I was so annoyed with myself for leaving the damned tap on to run cold. I felt I was physically shaking, I don’t think I was, but it certainly felt like it. I should have blamed ![]()
They seem to enjoy their brain-battering battles to see who can make my life more rotten. I’m now trying to blame them, but I just can’t help it when something distracts me or I get two things simultaneously.
Looking back at my jobs with Tesco, the co-op, and security, I realised that many things simultaneously needed attention. Yet I seem to recall coping well with the incidents back then. In fact, I was the one other people came to for help, and I got it. The anger turned to self-pity and sadness. But I’d sooner have than than the depressions. Well, maybe not really; the guilt of whatever I do that goes wrong also gets to me. Embarrassment and shame are always lingering dangerously for my mental health in the shadows.
I’ve tried to pass at the Porcelain Thrown 3 times until now (16:15hrs), but I have had no success. Blood and pain, yes! Hehe! Luck, well, good luck is an alien to me.
Bad luck; A constant late-life disciple of Lucifer.
Carer Sham midday. In a rush, but she still emptied the catheter for me. I had filled up rather quickly, but I’d not noticed it. (Fancy that, me not noticing something, Hahaha) Thank you, Sham. ♥
I eventually got on with the blogging. And, dare I say it, I was doing well. That was a fatal thing for me to be thinking! (Worrying that was)
The keyboard stopped working while typing. The light on the keyboard was still lit up. The mouse was still working.
The depression that turned into shame came back. No self-anger this time, just pure frustration and fed-uppers with my rotten luck. Not being technically capable, I investigated the situation. What to try, so all my limited abilities turned to solving the issue.
① I changed the batteries in the keyboard. Rebooted the computer – No, that didn’t work.
② Made sure the sender in the USB port was fully in.
No, that didn’t work.
③ I gave up on the keyboard and threw it on the recliner. Keep the pain-givers together. Then, why didn’t I realise it sooner? I realised I’d got a
new keyboard I bought ages ago, so I decided to try to set it up.
④ Getting it out of the box was a work of art and must have taken me about ten minutes of struggling. Now, how do I set it up. I investigate the new keyboard further.
⑤ It was a bit of another struggle for me to get the battery hinge off. Fancy that!) Then, I saw it took AAA batteries, not the AA ones I have lots of in the flat!
⑥ Then a stroke of luck. (Worrying that was).
I found that the batteries were inside the computer!
⑦ I put the keyboard dongle in the USB port. Took out the old one. And rebooted the computer.
⑧ I bothered me that it was working. Then I got a Windows message telling me it had been successfully loaded, so I opened WordPress. And would you believe it…
HURRAH! It worked!
Of course, it had cost me two and a half hours to get it to work. But working it is! YeeHaa!
Now, to get the photos of the day on the blog.
I went to put the kettle on, and Carer Chris called.
He took some photos on the spare camera and changed the settings so that it clicked when a shot was taken.
He did it all so quickly for me, too. Bless Him!
No shower again; the hot water was not hot enough.
After putting the photos together, I found the one I thought I’d forgotten to take of yesterday’s meal: caramelised sausages, fresh peas,
tomatoes, beetroot & red onions. Early evening sky, Bootiful!
I was going to turn on the TV to watch ‘Heartbeat’ while continuing the blog.
I could not find the remote control!
I got the torch and looked underneath the dilapidated, breaking up, partially doored, second-hand bought Hopewell’s E-plan cabinet, with 7 drawers, of which two are still working, hoping to find that the remote had fallen and slid underneath it. I found pens, a pencil, and dried-rock-solid fresh peas. Along with a 1960 Scan Security Certificate of Merit, training courses passed, and two of the missing Health Alert wristbands… along with an old laptop, four AA batteries and an old pair of glasses in a case. But, no remote!
I then searched almost everywhere: the junk room, hallway, wet room, and Kitchen. I even looked on the balcony. But no remote was found.
Then I foolishly tackled moving the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. Moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-filthied, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. I couldn’t get down to look underneath, as the last time I tried, I could not get up again.
So, hauling it around, inches at a time, in the small space it stood in was the only option.
I hoovered as I went along to reduce the mountain of dust, more rock-solid garden peas, more pens, and yet another mystery: three packets of French Fries with a sell-by date of February 2020. Ahem! This made me feel so guilty.
I nudged the chair a little more and…
Saw a corner of the remote control sticking out.
Got the bugger! But as I bent down to pull it clear, Back-Pain-Brenda and Dizzy Dennis kicked off, and with the physical jerks, I’d tangled the catheter pouch strappings that needed sorting out. I was not in good shape and left the chair all askew, and I got on the computer to make this rather sad report for my multitude of blog followers. I hope they can both see the funny side.
I could, even in such pain. Hahaha! Carer Chris is coming later, I’ll beg him to help me get the recliner back in position. It’s up against the bed at the moment. And I’ll ask him for extra Codeine. I missed one earlier, so it should be okay, I am allowed up to four a day.
Carer Chris turned up, looking a little tired. I told him of the farce with the remote-searching mess, and he quickly put the recliner back in position for me.
I was still a little ‘out of it,’ Chris picked up on this. Thanks to him, I got the nocturnal pouch fitted, the diabetic socks removed, and a Codeine given. He also took the waste bags on his way out. Thanks, Chris!
I will get something to eat now. But I’ll not cook in this tired and confused state, and dragging or carrying the nocturnal bag around is too risky! I’ve got some chicken and fresh peas in the fridge. I’ll have a pot of instant potato with them. I won’t look good or be fine dining, but I must eat, and I’ll pray that the ailments let me rest and recuperate for once. Then in the early morning, I must get a good shower and shave. Please let me wake up early!
But first, please let me get some sleep! I don’t know who I’m talking to; it’s out of desperation.
Please give me a break tonight. I have Back-Pain-Brenda, Sherida’s Electrical Shocks, Dizzy Dennis, Cartilage Chloe & Carole, Anne Gyna, & other ailments.
That should do it. Hahaha!

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Confused and tired, I made the no-cooking meal. No problem with the trailing 4ft nocturnal extension tube & pouch.
After washing the pots, I took five shots of the early-morning views from the kitchen. This is the only one that came out reasonably.
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I settled in the £300 second-hand shop recliner I purchased in 1966, which caused welts, was uncomfortable, did not work, was itch-inspirational, and contained crumbs.
I was intending to watch a recorded episode of ‘Heartbeat’. Soon, I was with Sweet Morpheus for two minutes at a time, repeatedly waking up with a jolt.
I gave up the TV idea, and amazingly, or perhaps not. I slowly drifted of back into the land of nod.
I woke up five hours later, and the door chime rang out when Carer Maryham arrived.
Another day in the life of Inchy Gerald Chambers.
Living Proof that Bad Luck in later life is to be expected. Nae, in his case, is guaranteed.
Without Cogniscent Impairment Iris, Doreen Dementia and all the ailments he’s accrued, life would be so dull.
Dull sounds attractive to him.
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TTFN
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the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. I got the pouch off, grabbed Wooden Walking Stick Willie, and needed to visit the Porcelain Throne.
What a mess! Cleaning up me, the porcelain
I may have things out of order here, but they all took place. The food order arrived. A big one. I struggled to find room to store it all away.
The one red onion I ordered was a bag of about nine big ones! Luckily, I got the Milk Roll loaves, a big bag of red potatoes, and some Norwegian-
cooked bacon. It looks horrible, but I’ve had it before, and it has a great flavour. I also got six bottles of long-life milk, bleach, yoghourts, and more.
near the window.
I’d done when she came on the domestic call. It saved her mopping the foot anyway. Hehe!
out from under the tiny plaster and a tiny bruise. That doesn’t happen usually, not for a year or more.
changeable throughout the afternoon.
It felt like minutes later, I was on the balcony again with the Kodak taking… no, the cheapo camera, taking shots after the drizzle had stopped.
I honestly cannot remember taking these pictures.
brightened, the clouds dissipated, and sunshine got through!
After Carer Victor’s last call, I went to look at the vast choice of food I could have later.
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I got my head down last night, about 01:00hrs. I woke up at 01:15hrs. Nodded off again, waking up with an
would wake those below me up.
more wee-wee. Hahaha!
PPs off and sat on the plastic seat.
toenail! Also, I forgot to do the teeth.
It was some mail that made the noise I heard. I was not in such a good mood then. A damned depression came on instantly as I realised the things I needed help with sorting for the letters. HMG sent three of them! (TV licence), the bank (2) and an unopened one after the shock of the first few. As I got on the computer, a barrage of painful…
We had a drop of rain this afternoon to teatime.
And a ready-made Shepherd’s Pie with a root vegetable potato topping. I made the nosh. It has a delightful
The evening view was one of those ‘everything-had-brown’ in it. 

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I was taking off the nocturnal wee-wee pouch as Carere Richard arrived. He told me it was a 7 on the NHS scale. I think I must have put the wrong photo on. Tsk!
The medicationings took me longer than the wash & shave did!

After many hours of slow, grinding progress… with the seizures still visiting and my mind wandering, I did another search for the mystery of the mop disappearing. I pulled the shower curtain, but I was certain because I’d not had a shower, it would not be in there… and it was!
I thought the colour was a lot deeper about the ninth emptying of the mini catheter pouch, but then again, with my achromatic vision.
I made a pot noodle for myself,
It’s starting to look a little gloomy now that the sun has gone behind the thick clouds, or the thick clouds have gone in front of the sun. Erm…



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me. Going in to l
The nocturnal night pouch was unattached from the day bag.
Early morning shot of the clouds and mist. Taken from the balcony.
I swear this visit, well, the actual evacuationing, was more painful than yesterday’s was.
Some catheters that Carer Kimberley had very kindly ordered for me were delivered.
Minutes later, the PP’s
Then the food delivery, three minutes later
Got them into the kitchen to sort them out.
Sorted. I got some of the red spring onions that sorted the meal. A sad tonight. I’ll try to be inventive.
Well, it was different, I must say.


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nocturnal catheter pouch to the day pouch and went off to the kitchen to check the taps, cooker and fridge.
it would take. Tsk!
have a fall, I just didn’t know, with the picker-upperer and walking stick limiting my actions.
cleaners on the floor, as I went down. Hitting my nose on the edge of the floor cabinet. The blood flowed down my chin, chest, bulging stomach, and legs and onto the bloody floor that I’d just gone through agony to clean!
The filthy kitchen floor then has to be mopped. But I used the speed mop; it was much easier and quicker.
At long last, I could take a seat before trying again to medicate my nether and lower regions. I put the kettle on and went to medicate ‘things’.
I felt worn out, and it was only about eight-thirty. I did the red patches first, I think. The Harold’s Haemorrhoids. Cartilage Chlo and Carole and Arthur Itis’s knees were Phorpain-gelled.
I spent hours on this blog. Then, when it was getting darker, I gave up and made a meal. I took a photo of the frozen potato letters as I put them in the oven. But I forgot to photograph the served-up meal. Tsk!
The Liberty-Global-owned Virgin Media TV took ages to get started. Still, as long as 
I hobbled into the kitchenette to get the washing of the culinary nature done, taking this snap of the evening sky.
I dried the pots and took a slightly more zoomed-in photo of roughly the same area.
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The nocturnal pouch was later checked and saved for colour classification by a carer.
The usual start, with the throne duties first. And what a change there! It was all over in seconds, but a ‘cunning plan’ from Trotsky caught me. I’d cleaned myself and WC up and was getting the shaving tackle ready… luckily I was only a hobble and a half away from the Porcelain Throne when a second wave arrived. I made it in time, but it was a close call. Had I needed to remove my PP’s, I’d have messed myself up. Luckily, if that’s the word, I’d taken the PPs off when in bed cause they and the catheter were causing me such pain.
I took an earlyish morning snap of the view from the kitchenette window. It was a bit nippy out. Brr! I closed the window, and I started updating yesterday’s blog. But, as usual, I got an idea for today’s Ode and spent ages on it, then almost forgot about yesterday’s not being done. Onto CorelDraw and Carer Chris arrived. Chris got the diabetic socks on for me. Medications were issued, and he mentioned that the catheter conglomeration looked rather painful. He was on the button there! Hehehe! He took the laundry down for me. I hope it returns today; the smaller socks were both in it.
I had a couple of minor seizures, I think, so I gave the computer a rest. And started to sort the waste bins out. As I emptied one, I
Getting depressed again.
Then I took this one on the right.
Next, off into the balcony.
I limped cautiously back onto the balcony to take a final photo.
BEEF IN STOUT GRAVY
I got the pots washed with one hand. The other was carrying the nocturnal catheter bag in hand. Then I put the bag on the floor and took this snap on the right. It looked ominous, yer peaceful at the same time.
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throwing the bag around like a football rattle, then threw it back on the floor. Sure enough, the urine flowed. Still too dark, but still. Can’t win them all.
The photo of the Bottom field and City Hospital in the distance was taken. They’re not bad either, well, alright.
First thing, a sit on the Porcelain Throne, pain, effort, and Oh, so slow coming out. Constipation Conrad is still in full charge. I took another Laxido sachet in warm water later).
As I put on the gown, I noticed the thick, long catheter tube was in backflow mode again. And even deeper red now! I’d also obtained a new cruise on the left leg. It might have been caused by the top strap trapping the skin. Or not. I didn’t know what I was thinking at that moment. A seizure was on the way, and I knew it. Although how I knew it, I don’t know.
I made a brew and got onto the computer belatedly. I have no idea what I got carried away with, but hours later, I’d still not started updating the blog. It seems I got some work done on CorelDraw, but not successfully. Spit!
I took this snap of the clouds while making a mug of tea. I’ve already drank three days’ worth of my allowance, which is six mugs, which should be two daily. A twinge of guilt was soon cast into the abyss of the ‘I’m-not-bothered-anymore’ section of the brain. A Dark, Dank Depression fell that instant!
I could not seem to break out of this downer.
The miniature catheter pouch emptying went on and on. And it was not a good colour at all.
I took these shots of the near sunset earlier and forgot about them until I found them on the SD card in the morning (Now).
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Despite the lurking and attacking throughout the busy day, computer and camera problems, Seizure Sandra, Dizzy Dennis, and Electric Shocking Sherida, there was an element I’ve not experienced since… Oh, let me think… erm… 2007!
I got the pouch and went through the same routine as yesterday. Throwing the bag around and shaking the ultra-thick tube until the flow restarted and the blowback pains eased. The nocturnal pouch filled very quickly. Once I’d got the night bag off, the farting diddy day bag filled up straight away. I had to keep emptying it all day. The bending down so often upset Dizzy Dennis. But as of now, 17:05hrs, just the one tumble, but I didn’t go down on the floor; I fell in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy & dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping, recliner.
I sensed the blood coming from Harold’s Haemorrhoids and made for the wet room to clean and medicate things. Pain and blood, but no evacuations of anything else. I gave up and started to do my other ablutionary duties. Teggies, nasal clearing, earhole olive-oiling, then got shaving. A few nicks here and there, but I’ve had far worse. A good body scrubbing, no areas missed off. Hehe!
and the man’s breasts with a barrier cream. I left the painful one till last. Dang, dang, dang, Dang! The Nerisone ointmentating of poor Little Inchies fungal lesion. Now how can I describe the pain when I
rub it in? Dire, agonising, grinding, yes, they’ll do!
The list was lingering this morning.
them away. Bless her. She took the waste bags with her as she left. Thank you, Chloe.
it or tried to spread No-Nutter Butter on it!
rap substitutes will be sent; as for the crushing of the fresh food…
Two hours later, as I hope you can see in this photo, I’m glad Carer Sham saw it to prove I was not crying wolf. Sham told me the urine in the day bag was equal to a seven on the NHS chart. The tube was again blocked with brown urine, and the flow-back sensation in the bladder was uncomfortable; I put that mildly, mind you.
The drizzle drop stopped, and I got the Kodak to take this shot from the kitchenette window.
Two sunset photos were taken as I went to check that I’d not left the oven on high and the hot water tap running, too. Tsk!
Everything is in place; I got the oven warming up for the potatoes. Carer Chris arrived.
Chris took some snaps of me on the computer without me realising while he was making up the medications. I found them on the camera after he’d gone. Bless him. Here’s one of them. I must have been in mid-moan status as I appeared to be grumbling over something on the computer screen. Another cock-up?
The cook-in-the-bag beef and gravy that looked so fatty would be cooked in the microwave oven. It takes five minutes, but I found the nouse to use the necklace timer as I put the potatoes in the preheated oven. I knew that they would take around 40 minutes, so I set the timer on my neck for 30 minutes, and then I got the meat in the microwave.
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climb out of the bed
Sod, all done, tons to get done.
computer. When am I going to get the shower and shave?
As the seizures eased and the catheter had been emptied for about the eighth time, Carer Chloe arrived. She took this photo of the stupid, harmful, annoying, frustrating, miniscule day pouch fitted.
I apologised for boring her with my moaning and thanked her as she departed.
It seemed to get misty again.
something else instead. I was well peed off with things. That is putting it mildly. 
Took this sunset photo.