Monday 2nd March 2020

Somali: Isniin 2-da Maarso 2020

02:05hrs: I woke and immediately attempted to disentangle my warped, flobby-bellied body, from the c1968, second-hand, £300, rickety recliner to respond to the call to the Porcelain Throne, which was not an easy task! For the limbs were spread about, in positions that I could never physically get them into when conscious. The left leg over the arm of the chair, dangling on the other chair. The right arm bent underneath my body-mass, the torso with the bum, almost off of the cushion. How did I get like this? Noctambulation, or Nocturnal nibbling?

I was puzzled, but still in need of an evacuation. I semi-rolled out of the recliner, gained my balance, grabbed the four-pronged stick, and straight to the wet room. There were no automatic movements, no struggling to force things along, no bleeding, no mess, no undue miasmas, no mass evacuation of wind, and no mess! Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?. It was! All that spoilt things was the agony! Hahaha! I don’t know why I laughed then?

However, the pins were looking good again. The battle-scarred scratches on the right shin from the losing Sock-Glide battle, were healing up already? And itching like buggery!

I pondered over this for a while. The Peripheral Neuropathy, with Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters dying nerve ends, may not be sending the message to the brain about any injuries or cuts (So they tell me at the hospital). Or else, is delayed in doing so. So, how come the brain has sent the white blood cells, called a macrophage, (In’t Google good, Hehe!) takes on the role of wound protector to clear the wounds up so quickly? Then again, the blood is not the nerves, so maybe this would account for… Oh, I give up!

I must remember to ring Sister Jane up later. Not too early, though, with her being an alcoholic, she goes out a lot and needs her daily recovery time in bed. Snigger! Jane is usually up by eleven or around there. Not Pete, though, he’s up nice and early, off out to get the papers and check on his bank account and investments at the ATM, and then get some lottery tickets from the newspaper shop as well. With a winning record of over 40%, you can’t blame him. He’s the only bloke I know who makes a profit on the lottery. So it’s just as well he is a born philargyrist. I am awful!

I moved the handwashing that was dry enough to be safe, over the crap, needing Einstein to understand heater in the kitchen. Then got the kettle on. (I good at this. Har-har!)

I got the new Pill-Blister pack out of the medical cupboard, and was so disappointed in what I found!

This pack had even more tablets mixed in different days and stuck, hidden underneath the cellophane, than last weeks did! You’ve got to admit, that the Carrington Pharmacy, 343-345 Mansfield Rd, Nottingham NG5 2D, are a cut above other bad chemists, with their consistently uncaring nature, and dedication to crap, life-threatening service. Just thought I’d mention them, in case I forgot to earlier. I’d hate to die through taking the wrong medications, and them to get away scot-free with it!

The biggest shame of it is that they used to be so reliable and trustworthy last year.

At long last, hours after getting up, I got around to doing some graphics, then started to update the Sunday post. All done, but it took me three hours. I went on Comments, then WP reader, ending up doing this blog.

The Ocado order arrived. I put the order in before having diabetes diagnosed, so I ordered some biscuits, lots of them, to make up the minimum order! And some lemon curd yoghourts! Tsk! I’ll give the cookies away so that I won’t be tempted!

Some of the tasty small Notoora black tomatoes looked tempting. I hope to get out to get some fresh veg in, but it’s not looking good, no nurse yet.

The ‘Hum’ and the workers drilling on the floor above is getting to me.

Turned everything off, and got the Ablutions sorted out. What a miracle session! Only one shaving cut and four dropsies. The Sock-Glide battle was a draw! Little Inchies fungal lesion and Harold’s Haemorrhoids were bloodless as well! 

No nurse has turned up for the blood testing yet!

Sister Jane rang, which was nice, but made it difficult for me to be on the phone, and still hear if the door or intercom chimes. While we were nattering, I thought I heard something, so nipped to check after telling Jane. No one was there. A couple of minutes later, and I listened to the Intercom ringing. I had to tell Jane and ring off; it was someone from the Falls Team arriving. He asked me to do a survey and questionnaire (these seem to be coming in thick and fast!)  Tsk! Off he trotted, telling me the paperwork will be posted to me?

I washed the jumper and socks, all done, rung and hung to dry over the sink.

Then it dawned like a light coming on: It’s Monday today, not Tuesday! (I’m quick sometimes, Fool! So no nurse is expected today; What a grade-one twit!

Then took the bags and cardboard out to the waste chute. A worker chap was in the lobby and kindly took them from me. I took a couple of photos of the progress on the works. The previously leaning light is back level on the wall, and the Dri-Riser access point has been revealed.

Back in the flats, popped out again with some no-longer-allowed sweet biscuits, and handed them to one of the worker-lads to hand around his mates. Back in and took another photo from the unwanted, unliked, light & view-blocking kitchen window. The first one was taken about three hours ago.

I set out on my walk down into Sherwood, along Chesnut Walk, down Winchester Street onto Mansfield Road and over to the banks ATM to get some funds.

En route, I took a photo of a broken fence, a fire-engine coming up Winchester Street and a Pavement Cyclist near the main road. I make this written list, for a good reason: I took them all before seeing the message telling me ‘The SD card in this camera is locked’, on the Canon view screen! As memory and logicality-challenged Schmucks go, I must surely be in line for some sort of medal by now? 

I withdrew some money and hobbled up to the bus stop to wait for the L9 bus to arrive. I asked a lady who was there before me, if the L9 bus had been yet, please? Oh, dear, the first stare back at me told me to keep my gob shut, which I did!

I heard a klaxon going, and got the camera out, I saw the ambulance coming toward the traffic light junction of Winchester Street – Mansfield Road.

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That could have been nasty!

A Taxi (Fancy that!) parked near the bus stops and dropped a lady off, who nipped in Abdhul’s food shop, and returned with a bag of what looked like cream cakes? Ah, Gawd, I’ll miss them now! (Jealousy! Caterwauling, Ululations and a temporary Invidious-Mode adopted, Hehehe!)

The blinding sunshine was totally heatless, or so it seemed, anyway. A regular Sherwood pavement cyclist I noticed over the road, had been joined, by a young make oink of a scooter-rider today.

The bus arrived a good fifteen minutes late, but I was glad it had. As the folks from the flats who nipped down on the bus alighted, I greeted each one with something like, ‘Good Morning!’, ‘Ay-up Bill, how you doing?’ and ‘A bit nippy this morning John?’ No replies from anyone.

I got on the bus and stuck into the crossword book. I was doing well as well, for me. Had to put it away in Daybrook, to concentrate more on not falling out of the side-saddle seat at every corner that Stirling Moss took, or when he jammed his anchors on! It became evident that the reason for the bus being late, as they had blocked off a road for Gas Work repairs! That would qualify the driver to be forgiven for his erratic driving.

Spur of the moment job, as the bus turned into Arnold Road, I decided to shop at Sainsbury’s for my fresh food supplies. And boy, did I get some! No expense spared either! I had the Dennis Dizzies as I shopped, but got through to the checkout with the most significant load, but everything I had bought was in date enough to last me the week! Nop excuse for not eating fresh food this week! (Part of the self-imposed ‘Inchcock Instigated Intake Itinerary’ Hehehe! Grated Red Leicester Cheese (For Josie’s potatoes, of course, not for me, oh, No!), Little Gem lettuce, Sugar Snap peas, Anchor butter, Surimi Royale imitation fish and sticks. Italian brown tomatoes Leticia (Gorgeous taste!) Cucumber, Podded Nicaraguan peas, £1.50 for 150g! They did have some of my favourite apples, English Cox’s in, but they were much too large for me. (I opted to try some I’ve not had before, ‘Cameo’ variety). Some radishes. What I found later were superb flavoured leeks. mushrooms, mushrooms, Chantenay carrots, and baby parsnips (These were excellent roasted!)

At the checkout, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters failed, and I lost my balance and banged my left side ribs against the counter. Leaving me feeling all flustered! Tsk! Then, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley and Stuttering  Stephany joined me, and I made a right mess of things and delayed people behind me. I dropped the cash card, leeks and then the parsnips, and the kind till lady came round and packed the bag for me. There were no words spoken by those people behind me. They were not needed, the stares of derision and contempt were more than sufficient to make me feel awkward and a tad ashamed. I moved away to near the doors, and I had a lean against the wall for a while. To gather my composure. A few minutes later, I felt a lot easier and more balanced and carefully limped out and to the bus stop.

I guessed that the L9 would not be on time with all the roadworks the poor drivers have to put up with. I began to talk with a lady who arrived, and the stuttering was still with me.

Eventually, the bus arrived, and I got settled in the side-saddle seat. But it was a battle to stay in it. Haha! I had a dizzy spell en route, but it didn’t last long, the memories of my performance at the shop tills and the disgust I aroused in people did though.

Back at the flats, I made my way home, with the pain from the ribs increasing. Humph!

I’m not sure what happened for a while after getting into the apartment. But I found myself waking up in the recliner later, the food had been put away, food laid out on the plate on the tray, some parsnips, carrots and sweet potatoes were in the oven cooking, a saucepan with the mushrooms, leeks and garden peas was on the hob… A bloody-good job I woke-up when I did! Phew!

Then I realised why I woke up, the door chime was ringing out its tune, Dusty Springfield’s ♫ I only want to be with you ♫. For once, I was glad that Josie woke me up to return the plate etc. from her Sunday lunch.

I later found these pictures I’d taken of the food I’d bought. But can I remember taking them? No!

Still, they show up the freshness of the products I got, on a Monday, as well!

I checked the food in the oven, carrots, parsnips and sweet potato chips, and was glad to see that I’d sprayed they with olive oil first.

Feeling slightly bemused, or discombobulated by events, I checked things all over for safety. There were no signs of any Whoopsiedangleplops or Accifauxpas that I could see.

Then got the meal served up. This turned out to be a Flavour Rating of 9.25/10 dinner! Not perfect, the sweet potatoes somewhat burnt, but that suited me, they tasted wonderful! The beetroots were well-cooked and soft! The brown tomatoes, peas, mushrooms delightful! The pretend fish and leeks were also lip-smackingly good! And, I think the few anchovies, and the Marmite cheese, rounded things off nicely?

I consumed it slowly, my allotriophagy and pica were satiated! But, I fear I may have over-gormandised a tad? (Guilty-Mode-Engaged!)

The landline flashed, I don’t know how, but I got up and to it in time before it stopped. It was a phlebotomy nurse, telling me she would be with me tomorrow twixt 11:00 and 13:30hrs. A little late for me. (Good job I got out today for the fresh foods!)

I washed the pots and got down in the uncomfortable recliner… Zzzz!