Inchcock’s Tales (Confessions) of Hounds Gate – Part of ‘The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe’!

Inchcock’s Tales (Confessions) of Hounds Gate

Part of ‘The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe’!

Hounds Gate 01a

Hounds Gate, Nottingham; The early name for the street was Hungate, and it was referred to as such in 1326 and appeared in this form on John Speed’s map of Nottingham of 1610. It is thought it received this name from being where part of the kennels for Nottingham Castle 100 attack hounds were situated.

We could do with bringing them back! Hehehe!

Hounds Gate 001B

I hobbled up it this morning with the camera, and the brain in nostalgia-Mode! It is a sad sight nowadays. Abandoned retailers, and a muggers and druggies paradise. I have found out that 1098 crimes in May 2019 were reported within and half a mile. Big Issue Sellers, and Ice Cream vans, and muggers today. Rumour has it that two Nottingham policemen were spotted patrolling on foot in Hounds Gate in 2018, but we cannot confirm this overdramatic, ridiculously sensationalised claim.

Hounds Gate 01B

This morning, there were few Nottinghaman’s about, being early in the day. Thus less chance of being mugged, sold some weed or a street beggar begging and his dog snapping at my feet! Hehehe!.

Hounds Gate 01d

It is interesting to remember that the first town steward, John Collishaw, who was appointed in 1787 lived in Houndsgate and he only died so recently as 1809. The spectacular Bridge of Sighs, which connects the two portions of a great soft-goods warehouse and which spans Hounds Gate in really a charming manner, was erected in 1923. My father used to collect and deliver to it as late as 1959. He always called to see if they had any returns, when he was on the Nottingham run. I suspect that this might have been prompted by the threepence 3d, he was paid for each one he collected. I used to go with Dad on school holidays, and the slightly pleasantly built meaty, muscular young lady who managed the warehouse and office, was always a cheerful soul as I recall! Haha! 

Another memory, was of a twenty-year lad, legless, totally drunk, and getting arrested, on a Wednesday night, in about 1966. Yes, it was me! Shame-Mode-Adopted! 

Sister Jane swore she saw two customers in that Sub-Way store last month! Huh!

Hounds Gate 01e

Towards the top of the road, I came across a self-advertised Cargo-Bike. I looked back and took this picture while the chap was busy organising his load. He really ought to fit an alarm to it, you know!

Hounds Gate 01fCloser to the top of Hounds Gate, was Ye Olde Salutation Inn. Claimed to be the second oldest pub in England along with theRoyal Children pub on Castle Gate nearby.

Hounds Gate 01g

I mention this, because I am not a born-again recovering holier than thou alcoholic, and remember visiting both pubs many times in my drinking days. And by gum, they sold some great beer, and the atmosphere was great!

Hounds Gate 01h

I exited Hounds Gate, up the paved path. On to what was called Granby Street in 1963 when it was built. This was a Whoopsiedangleplop moment for me. The three-wheeled trolley guide then toppled over, the toe was mercilessly stubbed again in the process, and a few well-chosen words were spoken. Well, no that’s a fib – they were not well-chosen at all, the just burst out!

Hounds Gate 01J

The memories flooded back at the same time, though.

Finally, a photo from c1920 of Hounds Gate.

Hounds Gate 01k

Not much changed aesthetically I think.

I’ll let you know when I look up what aesthetically means.

T.T.F.N. Folks!

Inchcock – Tues 15 Jan 2019: New injury – Visited the Doctor, had INR blood test – Got the laundry done – Plenty of natters today! Hurrah!



Tuesday 15th January 2019

Samoan: Aso Lua 15 Ianuari 2019

23:25hrs. I stirred into ersatz life and lay there deliberating over my situation, and taking in the thoughts with the mind in a calm, nonbelligerent mood. I could recall no dreaming, nocturnal nibbling or, and this is the best one… no bleeding from either the front or back! I remembered (I say remember, it was when I saw my sign about it hanging over the TV screen), the appointments with the Doctor and Nurse starting at 0720hrs. The brain did get a tiny bit of angst when it recalled that the destruction make-as-much-mess-they-can engineers will be calling to ruin the carpets and leave the maximum amount of dust spread as far as possible from the drilling as they can manage.

Physically, I thought things were doing fine, apart from Duodenal Donald lingering in the background and the rumbling innards, I was pleased.

WD 0.25.0 Then after I had freed my Billy Bunter-like body from the £300 second-hand recliner and got up on my feet… Soon as I stood up, the pain from my left leg well above the knee was nasty. Oh, flipping ‘Eck! I accept that I will never have complete aponia, but this pain was so reminiscent of what I suffered back in 1964. When I was working at the Co-op 118 store, on Arleston Drive in Wollaton. That turned out to be an abscess, and I recall trying to get the black-puss out of it was not easy or comfortable. Tsk!

WD 0.25.0 The call to the Porcelain Throne arrived rather urgently. A good job I responded straight away, else I definitely would not have made it in time! Phew! A messy semi-liquid affair.

Oh, great I thought. The Furosemide swollen legs, the abscess, the wee-weeing. And now the trots have joined Duodenal Donald in making me feel so nervous! Combine these worries with the fact that I have to go out on a 40-minute walk to the surgery for blood tests and see the Doctor about the Furesomide side-effects and tell her about the trots and beg for some more effective ulcer medicine or tablets, oh, and see if the pain is an abscess or a blood clot!

No doubt about it, the pain wholly dissipated when I am sat down, the moment I’m back on the feet it starts giving me grief.

Every morning something new for me fret about and get in a stew! Oy Vey is mir!

A lot of cleaning up needed after the evacuation. Had a rinse and thought I’d better start 2tue06anticepticalisationing the contact points. The innards still continue to growl and rumble, so I knew I’d soon be back on the Throne. Tsk!

Before I got the Health Check things ready, I put the kettle on and got the old Sony camera out and took some photographs of the legs.

Some new vein patterns again, and I think some others have disappeared? But less fluid now.

I took a zoomed in shot of the problem area on the left leg.

It came out more explicit than I could have hoped for, and I’m not so sure it is an abscess, now. What it is, I just don’t know. As I sit typing 2tue05this there is no pain at all, as soon as I stand and try to walk, back it comes? I suppose its lucky that I’ve got my appointment with Dr Vindla.

I still think someone should pay to have free access to my warped, fluid-filled, unbalanced, Furosemide affected legs for experimentation… Someone from the medical profession? Hahaha! You’d think they would slip me a bit of cash to leave the legs to them when I snuff it. BUPA perhaps?

02:00hrs already now, and I’ve just got around to doing the Health Checks, Humph!


Things looked okay to me with the results.

I wish other concerns would be better, though. I’m dreading the walk to the surgery. The wee-weeing seemed to be getting a less often, but that is because when I took the 2tue04medications, I decided not to take a Furosemide yet, until after the Doctors and Nurses visiting are both done. This might reduce the risk of any escapages?

The picture I snapped from the unwanted light and view-blocking new kitchen window, revealed the heavy clouds in the sky, that hid the moon and stars. Again, I was pleased with the old Sony camera result.

WD 0.25.0 I could hear a clanking/rattling noise suddenly. It stayed for five minutes or so. But I could not find the source of it, so annoying!

I got the Monday post finalised and sent off to WordPress.

I decided, being as I noted I was out of the better toilet rolls (Or perhaps I could not find them, such is the mess in the spare room, Shame-Mode Adopted), I’d add some toilet rolls to the Morrisons order for Thursday. I found they had 9-roll packs on offer reduced to £3 from £3-50, so I ordered one. I also noticed they had vegetarian cocktail sausages from £2.50 down to £1 and added one to the order. But the best was, they offered a pack of ‘Six cartons or bottles of Honest Organic Kids Ever After Juice Drinks’ as a freebie! No idea what they are other than apple flavour, but I bet someone at the Social Hour will fancy them for the grandkids mayhaps?

WD 0.25.0 Another immediate call to the Porcelain Throne arrived, and nearly escaped of its own accord! Luckily, I was sat down at the time. I had to take blocking actions before I could risk getting to the wet room. Lid up, bum down and out it flowed before I made contact with the porcelain, almost liquid! All done in about ten seconds at most! What a messy session again! And Duodenal Donald started to kick off as I bent down to clean the bowl afterwards. I felt adequately embarrassed, discomfited and self-conscious of the mess I was in.

And as I said before, I’m feeling most apprehensive of getting through the 40-minute hobble to the surgery without any Accifauxpas or Whoopsiedangleplops!, and getting back as well. Should any escapages from the front or rear happen, the PPs (Protection Pants) will prove ineffective… of dear, I am feeling worse now after working that one out. I feel hesitant, indisposed, nervous, almost afraid to go out, but must visit the Doctor for help with these problems. What else can I do? Tsk, bother and Harrumph!

I got the mushroom in the crock-pot. Then, I stopped everything and got the ablutions tended to. By the time I’d finished the cleaning up session, I felt a lot better in myself. Duodenal Donald had eased off, and the rumbling innards reduced a slight gurgling now and then. Also, the wee-wees had reduced in quantity and frequency. Yeehaa! I reckon if I leave here by 0630hrs, I should get to the surgery on time for 0720hrs… ah, maybe not, what if the abscess or whatever it is, slows my hobbling down… Mmm… I’ll try to time it to leave at 0615hrs then.

2tue08It was 06:29hrs by the time I’d got everything ready and set off out on the hobble to the Doctors.

A new layout on the route. The lads had begun to build the bus turn around point. So, we must all remember to walk on the right now. Not the left.

To the end of Chestnut Walk, and down 2tue09Winchester Street to the end and left along Mansfield Road.

By gum, I was getting a move on.

The pain from the leg amazingly departed, and my rate of knots increased somewhat!

Near the surgery, I took this photograph of some flowers on a hedge to a house. 

2tue10I got into Carrington and the surgery. I’d covered the distance in thirty-five minutes! (Smug-Mode-Adopted! – The head swanks! Hehe!)


I got into the surgery and logged on with the receptionists and sat down, getting the crossword book out, and had a failed session on the puzzles.

WD 0.25.0 A few minutes later Dr Vindla came and tapped my shoulder as she said sternly to me; “Are you coming in then!” I assumed she had called my name and I’d not heard it. I rushed in and sat down. I mentioned that I am feeling tired all the time. “Yes, but how are the legs?” I showed the mark to her telling her how bad it was earlier, but now there was no pain. (I did feel such a fool!) No reply, as she had a grope of the legs. Making me jump. “Much better!” Then she told me I could keep on to the 2tue10aFurosemides I have left to use on an As as when needed basis. “Your seeing Nurse Nichole next, are you?” – ” Yes!” Alright, you can go now!” So I did!

Back to the seat, and Nurse Nichole appeared and fetched me to her treatment room. I managed to have a little natter as she took the blood, but not much. I thanked her and handed some nibbles, departed and dropped some bits 2tue11off for the receptionists. Both of the visits seemed to all over in minutes. I was in a haze as I left.

The traffic had got much busier now.

I took a picture in Carrington and then one in Sherwood as I almost power-walked the route back home.

2tue11aI was once again impressed with the resulting photos from the old Sony camera.

As I turned onto Marshall Street, I had to stop to avoid treading in some Nottinghamian Street Art. No doubt created and deposited my some alcoholic who, as many of us have done in the past, and they thought it would be a good idea to get a takeaway, after a jolly-good session on the plonk.

2tue12aWalking up Winchester Street Hill, at an incredible pace I might add – I wondered if I was still asleep and dreaming! How I was going so fast, I could not understand at all. I must have been breaking a record timewise.

I stopped and hobbled a little way up Cavendish Vale, to take this shot of Winwood Heights. Woodthorpe to the left and Winchester Court on the right. The new 2tue12bObergruppenfurheress HQ and New Extra-Care block of flats being mostly hidden with them being so much lower.

I carried on, despite the pain of the feet, at a good steady pace. And took this photo at the junction of Winchester STreet that goes up to the flats, and turns into Mapperley Rise on the right.

2tue12cA little further up the hill, I spotted some more Nottinghamian Street Art.

I can’t remember seeing it earlier when I walked down. But of course, it was much darker then.

As I reached the top of the road, many delivery 2tue12dlorries for Willmott Dixon were around.

Not that it mattered, but I had to wait a few minutes while the drivers had to manoeuvre their lorries around to find somewhere to park without blocking the traffic. Not an easy task.

But Incharge Ian was at hand to assist them.  Heck of a job for him, but seemed content enough and he was smiling.

2tue12eWhen I got walking again, I was taking this photograph of the Winchester Court sign, with its missing letters – N C and T, thus now becoming named ‘Wi Hester Cour’ Hehehe! I like it!

I was smiling to myself as Brigadeführeress Warden Deans passed by. We had a mini-natter and a laugh about the signs missing digits. Haha!

2tue12fI made my way back to the Woodthorpe Court flats along Chestnut Walk. Using, as it would be expected, the new third temporary route as designated.

As I got in the foyer, I managed to have another chinwag with two residents sat in there. I checked in the laundry room, and the machines were available. So, up to the flat to get the washing down and done.

2tue12g When I got in the apartment, I realised just how quickly things had gone, and found it hard to believe myself.

I’d left at around 06:30hrs, hobbled into Carrington, saw the Doctor, had the blood taken by delightful Nurse Nichole, walked all the way back taking photographs as I did, and still it was only 08:45 hours? Am I going potty or what?

I gathered the laundry and accoutrements needed and went down to the laundry room. I had a smashing natter with a man and woman sat in the lobby. A hello from Cyndy as she passed through to catch the bus. Into the room and got the washer going.2tue14

On the way back up in the lift, I discovered some more Nottinghamian Artwork on the wall of the elevator cage. No idea what it was, but it didn’t look nice. Hehe! 

I took another zoomed-in picture and placed it on top of the button panel in the graphic. But it didn’t come out any clearer for identificationalisationing purposes.

Suddenly the leg started to hurt again? I got the computer on and started to update this blog. Then down to the laundry room to move the clothes to the dryer. Had another good nattering session this another two residents in the foyer. I’m enjoying this! So much after I’d moved the washing into the spinner thingy and wiped the drum, I stayed downstairs while the dryer did its thing. And got a few words in with some passing residents again.

2tue15Removed and folded the togs into the bag, cleaned the machine filter and drum and back up in the lift to the apartment. 

Got the cleaned clobber away in the airing cupboard, and pressed on with the updating of this post. Accompanied with the banging and drilling from workers doing the installation prep work for the fitting of the sprinklers.

Checked the mushrooms and they were ready. So I moved them into a saucepan with some tomatoes with extra passata.

The blooming bruise on the leg is now worse than this morning. How can it disappear when I’m at the Doctors and come back now, with a vengeance? Humph!

Got some bacon in the oven, to add to the tomatoes and mushrooms, and digest with some of the Polish sourbread. Yum-yum! I hope.

2tue26Did the Health Checks and got the nosh served up.

Tasty, very tasty! The Polish Bread from the Post office shop was great!

8.9/10 Flavour-Rating.

Aha! There was an A-team showing on the TV. So I settled to watch it before cleaning the pots… which never got done, because I nodded off at the first commercial break!

Inchcock’s Thoughts of the Week in Rhyme




The ironclad-min-biting beetles, I’ve had to avoid,

They’re quick, and refuse to be destroyed,

Nowhere left that I’d not disinfected and scoured,

They move faster than flipping Concord!


Failed efforts to conker them, left me losing my sanfroid,

Fly spray, bleach and boiling water utilised and deployed,

The result? Next day, an even bigger-beetle hoard!

I ordered from Amazon, beetle-killing pads, effective I was assured,

When the van arrived it had none on board!


Soon I was hindered, and very annoyed,

Liberty Virgin Global, left my life in a void,

The internet connection was again destroyed.


Curses and oaths emanated from my thyroid,

So often, I was frustratingly forced to be internet underemployed!

I wished I had in my prescriptions, something made from Opioid!


Inchcock Looking Back at his Mam: In imitation rhyme

G Dec


Reminiscing about our Mam, in Rhyme

Mummy asked the midwife, to throw me in the river Trent,

Looking back, t’was my life’s first big disappointment,

She said she couldn’t afford me and still pay the rent,

From not paying the rent, she never did relent,

Sister Jane, to live with a rich relative, was sent,

Older brother Pete, joined the army to escape the torment!

She also ran away, absconded for years, yes, off she went!

– – – – – – –

I can’t say she was a good Mother or wife nor,

She spent most of her time on the run from the law,

She left Dad and me feeling very sore,

She wanted Bingo, betting, money, more and more,

She’d get it anyway, that was for sure!

– – – – – – –

The police caught her, and off to court she went,

For her crimes of conning folk and not paying her rent,

For character references, she forced an adjournment,

Her victim’s character references avoided her immurement,

Released on probation, they got her a new flat, paying her rent,

Her utility bills were paid too, they made them all obsolescent,

Even those who never got back the money to her they had lent,

Threw a celebration party for her, ignoring her criminal intent,

– – – – – – –

Despite all this, the woman was original in her day,

A con-artist of perfection, I really have to say,

Despite her nicking my stuff and her running away,

She could con anyone instantly without hesitation or delay,

She’d give you her last sixpence or chocolate from her Milk Tray,

Although the tanner and choccy came from one of her prey,

She was a crook but unique, I’d have wanted her no other way!

– – – – – – –

When I snuff it or die as it were,

Once again I’ll hopefully see her,

I anticipate my emotions will stir,

What to me would be the clincher,

Is what would I have on me for her to pincher!

See You in a while Mam XXX

Nottingham City Homes: Part Two: Repairs Guide for New Senior Citizens in Indepedendant Living flats

Nottingham City Homes Repairs: Part Two:


Guide for New Senior Citizens in Indepedendant Living flats


0001aaFellow Senior Citizens please be warned. If you have the annoying habit like what I do, that of wanting to clean your kitchen window outside and in; Here is what you will have to contend with. Especially if you live in Woodthorpe or Winchester Court in Sherwood Nottingham.

I recommend that the following are stocked up on prior to the life threatening procedure is attempted:

  • Antiseptic disinfectant and creams. (The Dettol disinfectant and the Savlon Cream are effective)
  • Elastoplast fabric and Waterproof dressing. Elastoplast is fairly good. (Although Asda own label is a lot cheaper)
  • TCP and or Brute After Save: (Both are effective at stopping the bleeding abrasions you’ll acquire whilst trying to turn and hold out the control button, conveniently located in the less than 2″ gap between the mechanism and the outer frame of the window) The Brute deodorant in spray form lasts longer and allows you remember the Henry Cooper ‘Slash it All Over’ made commercials on TV from 1970.
  • 0001abA pair of Long-pronged Pliers is another most essential requirement. Either from ScrewFix or preferably the Pound Shop. Both will break when you try to attach them to the plastic button to turn and hold out the button using one hand, as you will need the other Arthritic hand to turn the window around to access the rust, bits of paint and stale water as it flows out of the frame and spills all over the sill, floor, cooker and you!
  • A note you must write before beginning this suicidal cleaning session. Along with your Anticoagulation Alert Card. Your medical record card to inform the paramedics when they arrive of your ailments and medications Medicsyou’re on, like: 

    Warfarin 3mg (Variable according to weekly INR blood tests) 1½ to 3½ –

    Pentoxifylline Blood flow 1 mornings – 1 noon – 1 evenings.

    Paracetamol 500mg pain relief up to 8 a day as needed – Codeine Phosphate 30mg pain relief up – 2 mornings, 1 evening and more if required – Simvastatin 40mghigh cholesterol 1 at night – Omeprazole 2omg – Oesophagus, Duodenal ulcer and sticking reflux valve. 1 mornings – The Ramipril 12mg Angiotensin High blood pressure – 10mg –  1 daily – The Bisoprolol 2.5mg fumarate – Beater-blocker – Control for having mechanical Heart-Aorta valve replaced – 1 daily – Ear-spray for outer ear – as required up to three times a day – Pain Killing Gel 10% Ibuprofen Fenbid  – Up to four times a day as necessary. – GTN sublingual tablets Up to four a day no more; contain the active ingredient glyceryl trinitrate. Do not forget to mention your liquid medications

The Nottingham City homes coordinator will humanely mention your predicament to the repairs department, and when you get back from the hospital, week two weeks after getting back, you will receive a letter from them with an appointment for three weeks hence, for a specialist repair man to call and assess the situation.

He will arrive and set to work looking a the window. After a few err’s and Mmm’s, he will tell you he is condemning the whole window, and will arrange for a new one to replace it.

This will please you greatly.P1020888

A week later, you will receive another arrange appointment trough the post, for three week time.

Another man will arrive, look at the window, and tell you there is nothing wrong with it at all.

You will inform him of the rust and concrete along with the stale water that fell out of the window when you finally managed to get it to turn so you could clean the glass.

He says: Well if you got it turned what’s the problem then?

Your reply is: “The rust and concrete along with the stale water that fell out of the window when you finally managed to get it to turn so you could clean the glass, and I needed three stitches and extra Trental and Warfarin tablets for two weeks!”

He clicks his tongue, gives a loud Humph, offers you a well-practised sneer and leaves.

End of repairs then!

Part Three to follow: The Electric Fire and the Wall Heaters Fiasco!

It’s Been a Funny Old Life Part Five – Starting school year…


I was born in 1947, an accident for sure,

Mother now long gone, to void being arrested,

This fact I was content to inure,

By Auntie Gail then, I was molested,

I loved it, thought she was a treasure,

Then going to school, this is where my sanity was tested!


Avoiding being beaten up several times each day,

Keeping the bully boys at bay,

Being called a Nancy for wanting to learn,

Having three other jobs, for spending money to earn,

Paper rounds, Saturday job & wood bundling; jobs I couldn’t spurn

For Dad said, I had to Pay-As-You-Earn!


I had to earn enough cash for the school meals daily to eat,

I’d have agreed to being adopted in a heartbeat,

But Aunt Gail didn’t ask, and we never again did meet,

Oh, how I did cry and wailed, I was so downbeat!


I continued working, bundling the fire-wood,

Grafting away every hour that I could.

Doing extra night shifts, when they asked, I would.

The long tiring hours stood me well later in adulthood,

Then the boss showed me how to saw the wood,

He left me to carry on, there was so much blood!


When the plank shot up off the bench, it caused a conflagration,

Then landed on he head, causing a nasty indentation,

The emergency services arrived, quite an accumulation,

Firemen, ambulancemen, police, a right altercation,

The ambulancemen gave me a perambulation,

To the Children Hospital, where they gave me an investigation,

I was sent home within the hour, Dad offered words of caution:

If my dinner isn’t ready when I get home again, they’ll be an argumentation!

Ah, memories…

Going to the Lavatory In Nottingham: 2016 versus 1954 Style!

Nottingham 2016’s v 1954’s Trips to the Lav’


Easy Peasy nowadays!

I wake in the middle of the night regularly nowadays here in the new flat, in urgent need of the facilities in the bathroom. Often called the toilet, loo, bog, privvie,  ****house or Outhouse over the years.

The Inchcock household used to call it the Lav (Lavatory).

Nowadays, getting to the ‘Lav’ is easy peasy compared to how I had to struggle in 1954 to get to the outside ‘Lav’ – a brick built up against the railway viaduct wall that carried the trains that shook the bog and house everytime an express went past. Adjoined to the row of other WC’s and coal houses.

Today, I arise, convince my arthritis to allow me the short few yards walk to the ‘Lav’, put the light on, do my business, wash my hands in hot water, using carbolic soap or washing up liquid, dry myself, hang the towel back up turn off the light and hobble the best part of eight feet back to the 1954 imitation leather armchair with the collapsing with age arms, and back to kip.  

There is so little in comparison to what I had to go through to do the same NCCwalk04from 1952 to 1954! Except the carbolic soap, I’ve alway liked the smell of that, it reminds me of a girl who use to work in service I knew. Big gal, Margaret, solid as a rock and always up for a bit of… oh, I lost the plot there, sorry.

I can still get the carbolic soap off a stall in Victoria Market, in fact, I might have nip into town on Monday and get some more in.

NCCwalk03In the Good old Days of 1954ish, here is what a trip to the ‘Lav’ meant going through:

I’d wake up, usually when the 0125 hr (Then the 0225hrs and so on) London express train belted by the house and shook the bedroom, roof slates would fall off, windows would rattle, ice would fall off the windows in winter, the light would swing about (Not that I had a bulb in it very often, Dad didn’t like to waste money)  and shook the whole place for a minute or so after it had gone.,

I would remove the great coats, Dad’s old uniform jackets and the blanket off of the bed, then get out from beneath, feeling so cold, and step onto the oh so cold lino-covered floor and generally, kick the TreatmentGuzunder, or tip it over.

Then the struggle to get some of the freezing clothes on top of the jammies to help keep me warm on the journey, for it certainly was a journey going to the Outside ‘Lav’ in those days.

I had to be careful not to make any noise that would wake Dad up, or I’d be in for it!

Taking care not to knock the tin Guzunder against anything, I start down the wooden uncarpeted, unlit stairs down to the Kitchen. I knew which of the stair treads creaked and would avoid them. Not easy when trying not to spill the Woodthorpewee from the gazunder I was carrying so as to empty it in the ‘Lav’.

Some of the other residents had lagged the ‘Lav’s’ pipes and made them look almost homely. (Which they were compared to ours, and even our house!). Dad thought this a was another waste of money.

Then to unlock the back door quietly, it had three well-rusted bolts, no locks.

Then the challenge of getting across the yard to the ‘Lav’, if I ran, difficult carrying the guzunder mind, I’d not get so cold. So a mad dash and into the ‘Lav’. Try not to bang the door, empty the Guzunder and do my business.

This could prove a hiatus in my actions because often in winter the pipes would freeze-up.

The return journey was fraught with danger. I dare not pull the chain because our WC was a lot noisier than the others for some reason.

Out from the cold dark ‘Lav’ into the cold dark night, across the yard and into the cold dark house.

No hot water to wash my hands in of course cold was available providing the pipes hadn’t frozen.

Getting up the stairs without causing any creaking of the stair steps was difficult. With my little legs getting over two to avoid the noisy ones was hard, sometimes I dropped the Guzunder. Dad would appear as soon as the clattering started on the Gazunder’s way down the stairs, he’d smilingly belt-me around the head, pick me up and throw me into my so-called bedroom while informing me of the consequences of any repeat performance of waking him up again!

Early in the morning (0415 hrs) Dad would kindly belt on the bedroom door, informing me it was time to get up and go to the paper shop for my morning newspaper delivery round.

Ah, memories!

Inchcock: Looking Back – In Rhyme (Of sorts)



Looking back, I see happiness, struggle and guilt,

I slept under clothing; we didn’t have a quilt,

The back yard covered in soot and silt,

From the railway line above us, what BR had built,

In poverty, we were up to the hilt!


The disappearing family, starting with Mothers running away,

The police pursued her, warrants in hand, I might say,

But I didn’t blame her for running then, and not even today,

The police couldn’t find her, try as they may,

They search all over Britain, even in Callais,

Years later they did, arrested her, tried her but didn’t put her away,

Gave her a new flat, paid her rent, utility bills too did they,

Con-Woman Par Excellence, at her trial on the day,

Victims appeared as Character witnesses for her! it’s true to say.


Joined the Army, booted out shortly, made me feel blue,

Searched for a job, something I could do,

Went into retail, and did very well too,

Then I got made redundant, what a hullabaloo!

Did industrial cleaning, hard work and horrible too,

Then I got made redundant, occasion number two,

The only job I could get then was in Security, boo-hoo,

Minimum wage, eighty hours a week, eventually promotion got through,

Even more hours, but the wage went up 15p an hour, Yahoo!

Then I got made redundant there too!


To another Security company, where my hopes were high,

Another 10p an hour, I felt I could fly!

Working in the Control room, hard graft but I was on a high,

Then I got made redundant, for the fourth time oh my!


No chance of further work appeared now was so old,

64 years of age and out of work, it made me feel bitter and cold,

So I had to go on the Old King Cole; the dole,

Signing on, applying for jobs, nothing to behold,

I was not trying enough to find work; I was told,

140 applications in 6 months not enough? Anger took a hold!


 “I may have to review your support rates,” said the spotty faced urchin,

He nearly got a punch on his acne ridden chin!

But I remembered I was on a high reading for me Warfarin,

I asked the pimply person if he’d like to somehow begin…

Talking to me without sneering, my control level was getting thin,

That was when he hit a panic button, to get Security in!


I was removed to an office, to await the arrival of the police; there’s gratitude!

A chap said ‘We’ve got it all on Camera, your abusive attitude!

I’ve done or said nowt wrong, Good God, I spewed!

The police arrived, we chatted, they checked the camera, I’d not been rude!

They let me go, showing common sense and latitude!


Next week I was put on Income Support, I was a £10 better off then,

Soon I got me retirement pension; I was happy again,

Of course, the Angina, and duodenal ulcer was a pain,

Having to have a new ticker fitted, and  the varicose vein,

The Arthritis the sticking reflux valve, the blood from piles did stain,  

The hearing aids now fitted, I could hear a bit again, 

I started to go just a little bit insane!


Bum bum!

Inchcock Today 11 Oct 15: Papplewick Pumping Station 1940’s Celebration Day

Sunday 11th October 2015

Up at 0345hrs, WC made a cuppa, started laptop.

Feeling so drained this morning.

After spending a good while searching for me wrist-band alarm thingamajig I found it on me wrist. Oh dear!

Posted yesterdays diary to WordPress then went on Facebook for a good while.

Did some graphicasionalisationing for later use.

Got missen washed and ready for me outing and BJ to arrive, all excited like an ankle-snapper! Hehe.

BJ rang, coming in ten minutes.

Went down to meet him and we were off and on the way to the station.

Very very busy this year. Heck of a job parking.

DSC00103Met with BJ’s mate and locksmith Richard – a character he is, a good chap.

1940’s Cars lorries, ambulances, fire engines etc. galore.

Within five minutes I’d wandered off and lost BJ and Richard.

DSC00107I must say I liked the correct uniforms many of the displayers were wearing.

The mock battle around the water lake was good as usual, but so any people attending and enjoying themselves meant I could not get near enough to take any photographs of the actual battle.



Many weapons on show and the exhibitors were willing to have a gossip and natter with us.

Wandered around to my hearts content nattering away.

The period music sang by performers to DSC00120background music was really enjoyable and I spent a good while listening them. Mainly because i’d done so much walking and then sat down in a shady nook under some trees to harken to the singing and me knees froze and it was hell of a job to get up afterwards! Hehe!

The folk wearing their period gear DSC00126having picnics was impressive as they listened to the songs of Al Bowlly etc. It cheered me up especially with everyone being sociable too.

The music session ended and as I sat there building up the nerve to test me mettle and moved me knees to get up -A couple walked through the area with a little puppy that I just fell in love with. It took me about 15 attempts to get a decent photo of the little rascal as he hardly ever stopped jumping running and chasing around, but I managed to get one in the end.

It was odd seeing Gestapo officers and DSC00123American soldiers laughing together in uniform!

I’m going to make a photograph album of this visit to Papplewick and put all these and the other ones wot I took as well as and besides on me photo’s in it on me Facebook page.

I took a photo of the mini-railway train DSC00117as it passed across in front of me as I was on me way to the steam-house.

I near the cafe was, but previous visits were enough to warn me of the ‘Cat-wassiness’ of their tea – possibly the worst weak watery tea I’ve ever bought – so no chance of me having a cuppa there! I did have a stand around and DSC00116took some photographs there as well. Two chaps in genuine looking Wehrmacht Uniforms kindly posed for me get their images.

I spotted two Dachshunds with a bloke outside the cafe and wondered if they were a German breed?

I kept looking to see if BJ or Richard DSC00127were around without any luck as I wandered merrily around.

I went to have a look in the pump-house but it was so crammed with visitors I gave up and hobbled back out. No problem though, I can visit the pump-house any time of year.

Eventually I got too weary and returned to the bench in the croft and had a go at me crossword book while I listened to some records of old music being played.

That was when BJ fund me.

He told me he’s lost Richard as well and had just found him, and Richard spotted me and it was time to get going!

DSC00130We got back to the reception Cottage and I paid me yearly subscription. Took a photo of a beautiful pink Rose on the way out. Rather displeased with it I were, not very sharp at all. Huh!

As BJ drove me home, we were passed by the MG Sports car that Richard had fell in love with.

DSC00131It was in great condition.

BJ dropped me off at the flats, thanked him and made me way to the porcelain awaiting my attentions…

Me knees were giving me some gip, but I was glad that I had not suffered any dizzy-spells today.

DSC00132As I put the kettle on the sky view from the kitchen window suddenly became red tinted.

A weariness of great magnitude overcame me.

I decided not to bother making any nosh, just too tired. So I made a pot of the special offer Noodle Pot – had that and some crisps afterwards and started nodding straight away – but for some reason it still took me ages to get off to sleep proper like.