1) Waking up alive!
Although this is often ignored when waking up with some of my ailments giving me some stick. Finding the catheter has been leaking again! 
, or I was in the middle of a
, and on my way to the floor, as I slip from the clutches of the c1966, £300 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner.
2) The rare times when I can get to sleep – without it being purgatory from the 
Excellent when these leave me alone!
3) Waking up without a rattlingly vicious attack by 
More often than not, resulting in another toppling out of the c1966, £300 pound, second-hand charity-shop bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner.
4) Not leaving the taps (faucets) running.
Floods, hot water running cold, hours spent cleaning up the mess. The Water-Alarm goes off, informing the Nottingham City Homes Monitoring Control, who ring me on the alarm panel box in the front room, but I cannot hear what they are saying, as I am in the wet room or kitchen at the time cleaning up. Then I go into the front room to inform them of my Accifauxpa and that I’m dealing with it.
5) When Shaving Goes Well!
I think the average cuts acquired when shaving would average around 4. I’m as bald as a badger on my head, yet hair grows behind my ear holes and neck?
6) Any Day When I Don’t Take a Tumble.
I have acquired a habit lately of bashing my head on the way down. Usually on the sharp corner of a counter or ledge. With the odd few that have left me unconscious. The last one, when the leg lost all neurotransmitters sensation, I twisted and landed on my back – not sure if I blanked out for a few seconds… As I regained a modicum of reality, the Nottingham Home Alarm Monitor Control lady talked to me over the alarm box. Her voice sounded slightly panicky, and communication was even worse this time. As I could not get back up, so I had a chance to hear what she was saying clearly. The leg had blown up to tree-trunk size, the pain too much at that time for me to try to get up, and the lady told me she was ringing for an ambulance for me. Over four hours later, the lady checked on me again. Then I made a massive pain-bearing effort as the leg was going down a little; I crawled slowly to the £300, second-hand, musty, Haemorrhoid Harold Testing, cringingly beige, crumb-covered, not-working, rickety recliner, and used it get myself up on my feet! The lady cancelled the ambulance. I got carried away there a bit… Sorry!
7) Any Day When 
Does Not Go Down
But, this, of course, is an impossibility!
The last day when this miracle of the none-failure 
was many months ago. Since then the
have had a 100% daily failure rating.
Today, they cocked it up five times in 2 hours!
8) Any Day When I do not have a.
9) When I prepare a meal without an Accifauxpa
The tin opener is the biggest offender.
Closely followed by the steak knife and scissors.
10) When I Don’t Fall getting on or off a Bus.
Off course, this will include tripping up or down steps and misjudging the distance from hard objects, like door frames, walls, cabinets, lift doors, and in-store
11) When I Don’t take a Fall in the Shower
Naturally, these events usually are down to one of these…
.
.
or
falling down.
12) When The Health Checks Turn-Out Normal!
But, a rare event!
13) When The Urine Checks are Good!
14) When The Ear Holes Don’t Bleed
Like the photo above, sometimes caused by a shaving behind the lughole’s error. Occasionally at their own behest, for which I have had tests… blood all over my vest…
15) When I Win at Something
Which, of course, is one for the coming future,
I may win one day for blaspheming?
I’m reasonably good at banqueting,
Not cooking or preparing…
Just at eating!
There ought to be a competition for befuddling!
I’d be higher in that than middling!
Not for me, voluntary peeing!
I’m excellent at self-confusing,
But I need the catheter for piddling,
I’d win easily at self-battering!
Experienced in chitchatting, complicating, & contradicting,
Is that a victory, my stopping smoking?
Or even my going tea-totalling?
I’m pretty good at jesting…
Also, at failing, falling, fumbling and flailing?
My failures I should be defenestrating…
But I’ll still be worrying whilst waiting!
16) When I Pass Wind Without Escapages!
They usually come out smelling atrocious…
Often the farts emitted can be exhaustless,
The accompanying wind was almost blizzardous!
The results for the protection pants are calumnious!
I have to spray the room with citreous,
The bleeding can look rather dangerous,
That’ll be from the piles and things furunculous,
Mostly the results are not injurious.
The noise it makes can be quite harmonious!
17) When I Go To See The Nurse...
18) When I’m Cooking…
Tomatoes, chips, peas & battered chicken,
I’m happily cooking in the kitchen,
If it comes out wrong, I’m heartbroken!
My spirits are so easy to dampen…
The kitchenette is my playpen…
I get it wrong again and again!
But when it’s good, I’m in heaven.
I eat so much, I am bedridden,
And depression is unforbidden!
19) Casting My Mind Back!
To my days with Grizelda ♥
20) Casting My Mind Back!
Further back to memories of Mother…
21) Casting My Mind Back!
Last week with Deanna.
22) Casting My Mind Back!
A nice gal I met in the USA. I forget her name…
23) Casting My Mind Back!
Waiting for a job interview as Team Motivator to start.
24) Casting My Mind Back!.
Memories of my first car.
25) Casting My Mind Back!
My walk in the Royal Maze, Liverpool,
Took me five hours to get out; I did feel like a fool!
26) Casting My Mind Back!
I was happy after I got the message through to me…
Note for Self: “Do Not Lick The Knife”!
27) Casting My Mind Back!
Happy memories of bath time – 1959, revisited in 1969!
28) Casting My Mind Back!
I just returned from the hospital after the six-week Nottingham Residential Home stay. And proudly made my first meal for me in well over three months… weeks. Burnt my hand on the oven shelf. Happily, I learned my lesson. It was about three weeks before I did this again,
Whoopsiedangleplop!
29) Casting My Mind Back!
Sister Jane escorted me back home after the cancer operation at the QMC Ward 19 operation, and I was released. I got given my notice the following week.
No, really, I was happy about it!
30) Casting My Mind Back!
Sister Jane & Hubby Pete had several kitties.
My personal Favourite is seen here, perusing my pension details.
♥ Taberther! ♥
My other favourite was Mr Phooy.
Both are long gone now. Sob!
But I loved them, and it brings happiness still
to see these photos of them ♥
21, 22, & 23: 
In hopes of bringingeth a smile!
Well, waking up dead would put a whole jinx on your day I thing. I mean, would we be zombies (not that we aren’t already) or would we shed our mortal coils-just the aspect of how we get around is already up for question and that when we wake up alive, but to wake up dead…J/K. The first line struck me as funny and sent me down a squirrel hole, so I had to explore it…
Well put! Thanks.
I feel somehow that when I croak-out, I’ll find myself in this battered body, (So Peter can identify me and log me out) at St Peter’s Gate. It scares me that they may have Parole Boarders at hand, to try and send me back to earth again? Hehehe!
Sod that! I’ll refuse, not going go through this again! Har-Har!