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Dad knocked one out for me, for talking sarcastically,
Soups made from bones, tongue & hooves, are prone…
Sugar was cheap, a few more teeth, gone,
I got beaten up, lost more than one,
Dad sent me to the gym to learn to box skillfully,
Had a bout versus a muscle man, I was scrawny,
Lost all but one, won that on a technicality,
He had a heart attack, which was a bummer!
Dad got me playing cricket, being as it was summer,
Fast bowler, ball in gob, even bloody awfuller…
I got blood all over my coiffure,
A mugger, I said sod-off, he gave me a smack…
Lost a tooth from the front, one from the back,
Wonder how he did that, suppose it’s just a knack,
Hospital, trolley fell off of it, Oy, caramba!
Became an alcoholic, just beer, no gin or lager,
Pissed, miss bus, walk home, fall, lose a tooth, regular,
depression, sadness, melancholy, have a mope,
False teeth? I don’t have any hope…
Now Starmer is the UK’s new pope!
A greedy, dishonest, lying bloke,
I can’t afford to have my teeth out,
My bank balance is close to nothing,
Keir stole my money, I’ve not got gout,
Do I get no freebies? No, I do without,
I’m getting older, more scatterbrained, dottier,
But have toothache! It’s getting rottener,
But, with far fewer teeth to come a cropper,
11 medications, including Warfarin & Beta-Blocker,
I’d like to set myself up as Starmer Knocker?
A derogator of dishonest Herr Starmer,
I should really try to keep myself calmer,
If Keir would kindly die painfully, & slower,
Now that really would be good Karma!
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02:00hrs: I bounded out of bed, did a double-flip, and yodelled as I opened the window and greeted the world with a smile…
That is not exactly authentic.
05:40hrs, I woke and fell asleep again, the moment I felt the pain from 
lurking in both knees. Wondering why, after all the harassment over the last two days, should the one ailment that has been absent all last week, suddenly start on the rampage? Within, I imagine two minutes of nodding back into dreamland, 
twitched; so violently, just the once. But it was enough to make me force my way out of bed, take off the nocturnal catheter pouch, and go in search of Codeine to ease the pain. This has never happened before; not the neck twitching, but the pain being so sharp. I’m assuming that it may have 
been caused by not getting medication for the days while in the hospital. What do you think? I left the card nearby with the bag, so the Carer can assess the colour for me.
Then I did the safety checks, although doing them last night when I got back from the hospital and 
finding I’d left the oven on was not encouraging.
I glanced out of the window and thought I saw the moon still showing in the photograph that Mirza took for me. Near the centre, about a third of the way down
I then thought I’d better get the ablutions and medications done before the Carer arrives.
The first task was to utilise the Porcelain Throne. But, for the third day on the trot, no evacuation was passed! A fair bit of noisy wind escaped, but not a sausage. Nothing, ziltch, nada or a blank. The shave was bloodless. Great!
I made a brew of Glengettie tea and got on the computer to update the Sat/Sunday blog. Which I achieved – but with Grammarly telling me that I had errors, wait for it… 333 errors! It took me an hour just to check them out & correct.
Carer Nimra arrived, walked straight in without using the door-chime, and found me with just the underpants on. Well, it was a warm day. Haha!
She’d been told nothing about me being hospitalised. I gave her an outline of the incidents that led to the fall and the following 21 hours of waterless, foodless time in the hospital. Late on Sunday, a new team started their shift, and I mentioned to one of the incoming nurses that there was no food or water available, as I was doing my every 15-minute mini ECG checks. She came back with a tuna and mayonnaise sandwich and a coffee for me. I thanked her for her efforts. But unfortunately, there were two rare things that I cannot eat. I didn’t mention it; not after she’d made the effort to help me. Carer Nimra barrier creamed my back flaps; I couldn’t reach them earlier. Then, she put some on the left Cartilage of Chloe, who was giving me some bother. We went onto the balcony, she wanted to take a photo, I think. Graded the urine bag as a level 5. Nice gal.
I then had a bit of a nerve-wrenching bother with CorelDraw and the computer, though.
I’d put an SD card in, which I found earlier, to see if CoralDraw would let me clear it, and try it in the camera to see if it would work.
, No! When I tried to delete the photographs (they were from 2009), the whole shebang froze!
Almost instantly, semi-panic was birthed, and 
DAWNED!
I sank so low. How can I handle so many disasters in such a short space of time? I wanted to curse, spit and scream! As I tried to think of a way to close the other programs, I couldn’t. The computer or CorelDraw, or both, were not allowing me to do anything at all. As I was thinking, if I leave it for an hour, just maybe it will reactivate? Yes, that’s how stupid I am! Which brought on the pathetic self-pity as well…
The door chime rang out, and in walked the lovely retired nurse 💗 who had been tending to my Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Little Inchies’ fungal lesion. She inquired why the plaster was on my head, and even the depression could not stop me from telling the tale of Saturday & Sunday. She listened too. 🌹Bless her cotton socks 🌹. She then swapped the plaster with a new one. Checked out the piles and bum; they were much easier. Off she went with my appreciation shown, and of course, returned as I turned on the computer, and the same frozen CorelDraw showed up. So much for turning it off at the plug, the only thing I could think of. Then the doubts sprouted up again; Did I think of turning it of at the plug, or did I actually do that?
Doubting Thomas’s arrival, followed by the certainty that Calamity Jane was on the way, and back into mode.
I believe that while talking and listening with my sweet District Nurse, 🌹 I think that I flirted with 
for a few minutes, knowing that my precious nurse was with me. Have I fallen in love at my age, and in my current physical & mental state?
Her arrival actually froze out Darius for a while! Nothing has ever achieved that before! Death will, but then again, you never know, Darius may follow you into Heaven or Hell? I’m writing down my thoughts again. Waffling on? Lost the plot!Tsk!
I regained a modicum of concentration and mused over what to try next with the computer problem.
The intercom chimed out. It was Carer Nimra. As she was coming up, I had a bit of a seizure, only a short one, but they usually have after-effects that are worse than after a long one. Blown if I can recall what took place. I feel things went well, though. Think we parted happily.
Now, back to the computer problem. I made sure this time, and had to disconnect from the plug, taking out the plug for a minute, then replacing it in the socket. I had little faith, but I continued. I didn’t turn on the computer, but instead, I turned it off again at the socket, and then booted the tormenting computer—with a flinch and a prayer. It went through a scary list of options to boot it up. To be honest, (Sorry to scare Herr Starmer by using that word, honest), I thought it wasn’t going to work, and I pressed the option buttons without making a note of them – What a Fool! It booted up! But I can’t remember the sequence for next time when I start it!
I got so angry with myself!
I pressed on and opened CorelDraw, Humph!
Some fonts didn’t load, so I had to select substitutes, which may cause problems in earlier postings.
The file you require is unavailable. Select another or save and rename this one to a different folder and name. I was baffled now. So I pressed the save-as tab and renamed the file. Well, it loaded, but very slowly. I expected a lot of work to be missing, as I couldn’t save it when the computer froze. Turned off CorelDraw and reopened it after a few minutes. The newly named file opened, and I investigated what was missing. As it happens, only a few photos and graphics were not there! I think I must have saved it just before the freeze. If so, I’m happy I did!
But the fear of booting up again lingered.
I got the Sat & Sun blog posted, and then I realised I hadn’t posted Fridays either. I was going to do that on Saturday, but then tumble interfered. So I checked that blog and posted it off too. I felt I was getting somewhere at last.
Carer Ejaz did the last call. No one had told him about the Hospital mayhem. He didn’t have time to listen anyway; it was a short visit, and he had another one to attend to. I’d not made a meal yet, so he left the night pouch on the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, dirtier than ever catheter-tube-trapping recliner, for me to put on later after cooking. Which is okay, the new day bags are shorter and much smaller, so the risk of going giddy at bending down is minimal. The lad asked me to send the blogs to his mobile, which I did. He 
just had time to take two photos for me. One of the fantastic sun-going-down view, so fiery and colourful, from the kitchen window. Then he snapped my much-improved Lymphorrea Leslie legs. Don’t they look so 
much better now my new love 🌹 has been looking after them?
Well, I’m shattered now. I’m going to save & close everything, shut down the computer, and see if I can remember the sequence to boot it up again. If not, suicide is the best option. I can’t stand losing the computer forever, with all the disasters of the past week. Here goes, fingers crossed and curses and a hex on liar, back-hander taker, two-faced, unreliable, pensioner-disabler-family robbing, more Tory than Labour inspired, ☢ Herr Starmer. ☢
I may not be back…
Of course, you won’t know if I’m dead or the computer won’t boot, will you? Because I won’t be able to post this desperate plea for help, formerly identified as a blog. Crossed fingers then.
Heheheh!
What a Relief!
Got in, but with a degree of “It’ll only happen againness” – “How the hell did I do thatness” and
sank into the most prolonged Seizure of the day. I was just coming out of it when Carer Ejaz arrived to do the last call. So, my memory is a little vague again.
Ejaz, I think, took a photo of the meal. I guess it was Ejaz, anyway? Took the diabetic socks off. Left the catheter night pouch on the recliner, so I could remember to put it on after making the meal.
Got the meal of the day prepared.
Dry bread, tomato sarnies.
Red onions and some
superb chips!
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I should sleep tonight!
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Urine assessment, colourful…
The kitchen view is not so colourful,
Calendar clock, just before my first tumble,
So glad I got the Copse shot; it is beyond beautiful,
Made room for the next delivery, but minimal,
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Joe started sorting out the junk room one. He got a lot done in half an hour. He went down to collect the laundry from the dryer, pointing out that he’d have to bring it up part-wet because he’d done his time. I asked him to leave it and that I’d fetch it later. “Don’t Forget To!” he said.
Depressed, sick & tired of bothering to do anything, but why, you ask (I hope), I’ll tell and show you…
Anny Gyna gave me her first nasty attack of the day… and as I was searching for the mended hearing aids to put in…
The food had dried hard & mega-crispy.
I ate it with some slices of Milk Roll Bread and dunked it in the sauce. Which were the highlights of the meal.
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With no Carer to loan me a camera for a week now. (Which is understandable; he’s taking photos of his new baby daughter with it, [I hope]). I’ve been fairy-minded and took a picture of each day’s meal in the hope that one may get on the Kodak. However, I’ve not been checking to see if the last six had made it to the SD card until this morning… well, it was late afternoon.
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. Within seconds I was clunking back down into c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner. Unsure if 
,
hurt the most. I decided that a cautious, weary trip to the wet room for cleaning up and medicationalisationing was called for. So I went!
areas, then the rear end.
knees. 
washed in a machine, or is it dried in one? Anyway, I had one unopened new one, so I used that
.
.
As she departed, the innards informed me of my urgency to get to the Porcelain Throne post haste! So I hastened!
is off again.
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The Kodak camera had taken only two of the pictures! The first one had gone into the ether.
Wunderbar!!!
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After yet another night of jumping awake, at 05:00, I gave up trying for the elusive sleep, and I gingerly removed the nocturnal catheter pouch, grabbed a hold of 
and off to the kitchen for safety checks and got the kettle on. The taps, cooker and fridge looked okay, and I had what must have been one of the longest-ever bubbly-sounding passings of wind that I can ever remember. It was pongy and two-tone at times! I 
diverted to the wet room without any delay.
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hasten to the Porcelain Throne ASAP! 
plonked my bottie on the porcelain. The evacuation started before I got settled. I think it must be the liquidest evacuation I’ve ever suffered! And boy, did it reek! Yes, it did!
The evacuation lasted about thirty seconds. 
had burst open and spilt on the same spot on the carpet that I’d involuntarily wee-weeded on Saturday! 
An ailment that has been so kind to me these last few days has returned with a vengeance. This made things even more complicated to cope with on the computer. She must have visited me dozens of times, and after each one, I was lost as to what I was doing before she paid me each visit. 
reaction; it was, but desperately
The potatoes had boiled over and stained the cooker, floor, saucepan and counter! I was livid at myself! 
The story behind this miserable meal.
This week has undoubtedly proven that I need more help.
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Wee.
04:30hrs: From the kitchen.
Reflection shot through bacony.
Taken later in the morning.
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Yet another nodding off and waking up again every few minutes of the night.
On my way to the wet room, I went into the kitchen to check that the faucet doors and cooker had been left safely.
I got the bath towel from the airer, turned it off, ensured there was enough medical stuff to use, and started the proceedings.
hink I used a full roll of toilet paper and tissues to clean myself up after
Inchy’s pain. I was baffled! There were only a few specks of blood from the Fungal Lesion, far less than usual in the morning, yet while I was in the shower, no pain at all? I found out later that it came on mostly when I was seated throughout the day. I didn’t want to stop the showering; I enjoyed it so much. Little Inchy was not enjoying it. Because my taking off the bag cover pouch to have the shower meant, as I exited, the bag was swinging and pulling on Little Inchy. But I think I’d done well all the same in this session… Then, after drying myself off with the bath towel under the wall heater, I needed to get the medicationings done… Oh, dearie me! 
For years, I’ve left medicating the most painful, the lesion, until last – today, I started with that task. A few Oohs and the drop Arghs were expounded, 
with the odd Ouch thrown in. Perfectly normal!
Then, the not-cheap Blepha eye treatments were done. Thank heavens that the NHS has not stopped funding the cost of the 
Phorpain Gel for the knees, Arthur Itis, and Duloxetine Cartilages Carole & Chloe, and for Colin Cramps.
Finally, the ablutions were completed. It was a long, long session. After belatedly changing the date and day, I took this picture of the antiquated 1970s clock.
Jiminnee Cricket, the fog was even thicker now. Took this snap. 
. The lad didn’t need asking; he got the diabetic socks on, the med pouch, and the Vit B12 tablets. I thought, by gum, he’s on form this morning. Then I remembered I’d left the note on his table. Hehehe!
Good Heavens, it worked! I hastily uploaded the photos to the gallery, but I fear I may have put them in the wrong order, so they may be from different times. Sorry.
The Iceland delivery arrived.
At long last, there is food in the fridge. I felt guilty when Carer Chloe found all the food out of date the other day. Was it yesterday? Who knows, not me. Hehehe!
The three bags of frozen food to the right in the photo on the left cost me just a pound! They were battered fishcakes, battered fish, and battered potatoes. Lovely!
The fridge looked a little fuller now, and while putting things away, I decided to have lamburgers in wholemeal bread rolls, maybe with some tomatoes and potatoes, as well. Or Marmite rice cakes—I might like that.
I managed to get these snaps in here in the morning. Just before CorelDraw crashed again! Fed up? YES!
I thought I’d remember from which of the different views I’d taken these from, but CorelDraw kept refusing to allow me to save the odd one and I go confused as to which 
was which.
us. Hehe!
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05:10 hrs: I woke up from a muddled dream. An odd one, all my current problems came barraging into my mind. I think I was laughing at them, knowing they would end when I snuff it. I lay pondering my strange response. 06:00 hrs: I forced myself to evacuate the 
bed. My balance was all over the place. I carefully removed the nocturnal catheter bag and emptied it. taking a photo for the carer to judge the colour rating later on for me. 
I snapped a picture of the morning blue sky, and then I turned on the kettle to make a brew of Glengettie tea. Then, I looked in the fridge to see what 
options were available for nosh later in the day or evening.
Went to wash the half-drank and had gone cold mug of Gengettie tea. And Carer Richard arrived. 
in pain, poor chap. My medications were issued. After a quick natter, he went wearily off on his way home.
I got the computer on and found this email tracker from Parcel Force. They are delivering the Low-Cost Food store order today. It’s been 10 days since the confirmation email telling me that the store had despatched it. It’s coming from Mansfield. At least with Parcel Force, they deliver to the door. Some others leave it down in the foyer.
MS Excel is making life difficult by not saving the NHS graphic chart, and I have to create a new one each day.
I had an urgent call to the Porcelain Throne 15 minutes or so ago.
I could not do much until the evacuation was over; the almost liquid contents only took a few seconds to sprout out. By then, there was blood running down my legs onto the floor, all over the basin, and it took me ages to get me and the mess cleaned up! The floor 
had to be mopped and disinfected as well. The different Cream, which had a dropper, was much thinner and far less painful to apply. I hope they send this one again in next month’s prescription.
Sorted the mess and got back to the computer.
Hello, I can hear an alarm going off somewhere. I shall go investigate. These new hearing aid batteries are good!
It turned out to be a fish supper. And very nice it was too.
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